What's your best baseball joke???
536694
There was Red Sox fan who was feeling pretty down on himself. For whenever saw a Yankee fan in their obnoxious pinstripe jerseys walking down the road, he would swerve and pretend to hit them. \n\n\nAs the man is driving on he sees a Priest walking down the road. Feeling he should do something good, he stops next to the priest. \n\n"Where are you heading Father, can I give you a lift?" \n\nThe priest replied, "I'm heading to the Mass two miles down the road." \n\nAs they’re driving along the man sees a Yankee fan walking down the road, instinctively, he swerves to hit them. He knows he did not hit them, but still hears a loud THUMP. \n\nHe says, "I'm sorry Father, I should not have tried to hit that Yankee fan." \n\n"That's ok," replied the priest, "I got him with the door."
516325
The best jokes are inside jokes...ones that you have with your friends!!  Priceless!
18344
Bob Prince for a homerun.\nHe said:  Spread some chicken on the Hill!
801470
Make a joke about it and laugh it off--
949951
Very nice one one, I loved it......I am rolling on the fllor right now. I just called up my brither and told him the same joke.
459430
*Two men walked into a bar and the other man ducked.\n\n*A duck walked into a pet store and asked the guy behind the counter "Hey! You got any duck food?"\n"No," the guy said, "now beat it."\nThe next day, the duck came back and said "Hey! You got any duck food?"\n"No," the guy said, "now beat it. And the next time I see you in here, I'm gonna nail your beak to the floor."\nThe next day, the duck came back and said "Hey! You got any nails?"\n"No," the guy said.\n"Good," said the duck, "you got any duck food?"\n\n*One day, a man died and went up to heaven. When he got to the pearly gates, St. Peter asked him "Did you do any good deeds in your life?"\n"Well," said the guy, "I rescued an old lady from a gang of robbers."\n"Hey, that's great!" St. Peter said, "when did you do that?"\n"Oh, about five minutes ago."\n\n*One day, three men were in a cave and they found a magic lamp. They rubbed it, and a genie came out and gave each of them one wish.\n"That's easy," the first guy said, "I'd like to be ten times smarter than I am right now!"\nPOOF! He was suddenly ten times smarter.\n"That's nothin'" the second guy said, "I'd like to be a HUNDRED times smarter than I am right now!"\nPOOF! He was suddenly a hundred times smarter.\n"Nah, I got all you guys beat," the third guy said, "I'd like to be a THOUSAND times smarter than I am right now!"\nPOOF! He turned into a woman.\n\nAnd the inevitable dumb blonde joke (NOTE TO ALL BLONDES: I DO NOT MEAN TO OFFEND. I AM MERELY REPEATING A JOKE I HEARD ONCE FROM A FRIEND OF MINE):\n\n*One day, a dumb blonde decided she was sick of all the dumb blonde jokes, so she decided to dye her hair brown and go for a long drive. She drove out to the countryside, where there were farms; one of these had sheep. She thought to herself "oh, how cute! I want a sheep!" So she went to the farmer and explained her request. \nThe farmer thought for a minute, then said "well, girly, tell you what. I'll let you have one of my sheep if you can guess how old I am."\nThe blonde thought about it for awhile, then finally said "66!"\n"By god, you're right!" The farmer said, astounded. He didn't really expect her to guess it, but since she did, he allowed her to pick out a sheep. So she picked one out and drove off, the sheep in the back. Suddenly, she saw the farmer behind her, chasing her car and waving frantically. She slowed down, and the farmer caught up to her and tapped on the window.\nShe rolled it down, and the farmer said "If I can guess what color your hair really is, then can I have my dog back?"
1135780
OK - have seen a lot of jokes on here.  THIS ONE MADE ME LAUGH.  Thanks........
25322
There was a scientific research project into the world's funniest joke, this is the result:\n\nTwo hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services. \n\nHe gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"
273828
Zen master order at the hot dog cart...."Make me One with everything"\n\n\n\n\nok, i stole that joke, but it is funny :)
339497
all baseball uses shortshops, what game are you playing?
19988
A guy took his blonde girl friend to her first football game. They had \ngreat seats right behind their team's bench... After the game, he asked \nher how she liked the experience. \n \n"Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and \nall the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents." \n \nDumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?" \n \n"Well, I saw them flip a coin and one team got it and then for the rest \nof the game, all they kept screaming was: Get the quarterback! Get the \nquarterback!' Hel-LLLO! It's only 25 cents!"
288007
HAHAHAHAHA!!!!  Funny...
849868
heheheheeh........hoooooooooohoooooooooo\nmindblowing joke..................awesum................nicejoke
124764
ooh! I almost missed this one =)\n\nOnce upon a time in Disneyland there was a Victoria's Secret model named Oscar Wilde. All night and all day her third cousin twice removed forced her to scrub the toilet. Then one day, she received a visit from the little old lady who lived it a shoe. The old lady says, "Hi! I am Papa Smurf and I am here to pump... you up. \nLost in an unbearable lightness of being, Oscar says to P. Smurf "how many licks *does* it take?", to which Papa replies, "They are the eggmen. I am the walrus. Goo goo g' joob!" \n\nSo then Oscar and Papa find a field of magic mushrooms and live happily ever after...or did they?
548784
i like your jokes, your funny!!
815087
Oh my God! How hilarious! I looove the end sentence.\nThen a third runner cast his eyes a little lower and asked, "Do you always wear a condom when you run?" \n\n"Nope........just when it's raining."
653003
An out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a desolated area. Luckily, a local farmer came to help with his big strong horse named Buddy.\n\nHe hitched Buddy up to the car and yelled, "Pull, Nellie, pull!" Buddy didn't move.\n\nThen the farmer hollered, "Pull, Buster, pull!" Buddy didn't respond.\n\nOnce more the farmer commanded, "Pull, Coco, pull!" Nothing.\n\nThen the farmer nonchalantly said, "Pull, Buddy, pull!" And the horse easily dragged the car out of the ditch.\n\nThe motorist was most appreciative and very curious. He asked the farmer why he called his horse by the wrong name three times.\n\nThe farmer said, "Oh, Buddy is blind and if he thought he was the only one pulling, he wouldn't even try!" \n\nA travel agent looked up from his desk to see an older lady and an older gentleman peering in the shop window at the posters showing the glamorous destinations around the world. The agent had had a good week and the dejected couple looking in the window gave him a rare feeling of generosity.\n\nHe called them into his shop, "I know that on your pension you could never hope to have a holiday, so I am sending you off to a fabulous resort at my expense, and I won't take no for an answer."\n\nHe took them inside and asked his secretary to write two flight tickets and book a room in a five star hotel. They, as can be expected, gladly accepted, and were off!\n\nAbout a month later the little lady came in to his shop.\n\n"And how did you like your holiday?" he asked eagerly.\n\n"The flight was exciting and the room was lovely," she said. "I've come to thank you. But, one thing puzzled me. Who was that old guy I had to share the room with?" \n\nWhat a woman says:\n\n"This place is a mess! C'mon, you and I need to clean up! Your stuff is lying on the floor and you'll have no clothes to wear if we don't do laundry right now!"\n\nWhat a man hears:\n\n"blah, blah, blah, blah, C'MON YOU AND I blah, blah, blah blah, blah ON THE FLOOR blah, blah, blah, NO CLOTHES, blah blah, blah, blah, blah, RIGHT NOW!" \n\nA couple of elderly men were sitting in the park chatting about days gone by, when a pretty young woman came into view and walked past. Seconds later a young man appeared, walking just a bit faster than the young woman, and gaining steadily on her. The first old man gazed after the couple and said, "Do you remember when used to chase pretty girls down the street?" His friend hardly stirred and replied wearily, "Yes I do remember how we used to chase them, but I can't for the life of me remember why