am 40 have a 28 yrold boy whos in love not really feeling him in love with loser x .?
538712
find you someone who will be compatible and in love with you\n\nIt is a great day to be alive!!\n\nGood Luck and God Bless!!
412994
All of your thoughts are definetly valid ones.  You know that the beginning of "where's this going" relationship stuff is NO picnic.All I can say is, keep your eyes WIDE OPEN.  Pay close attention to any RED FLAGS along the way (if there are any).  You know, it's just one of those things in life that really, only time will tell.  By all means don't put yourself in the position to feel obligated in to rushing in to anything.  I WOULD recommend paying close attention to his ACTIONS.  Be cautious of charming talkers.  Please, allow time to take it's course.  \n\nI would be curious why he feels it's necessary for you to know where he is, even if it is work related.  To me, it's just a bit odd.  That would get on my nerves after a while.  I mean, his employer is the one that really needs to know where's he's at all the time, not you. That's merely MY opinion.  Is he borderline needy without actually being needed?  Not that there's any crime of being 45 years old, having never married.\n\nAhh.  Like I said, just allow time to take it's course.  If it's really meant to go anywhere, then it surely will.\nDon't be too hard on him, or yourself.  Just be smart, okay?\nTake care.\n\nP.S.  Hey there c68!  I sure hope this turns out to be something good for you.  Be patient, enjoy each other, learn about each other.Maybe this is one that deserves your time.  I really do hope he's a good person.  Keep on your toes.  You seem to be a smart cookie.  Keep it up!\nI'm thinkin' about ya and if it helps, I'm pullin' for ya too. (Well, you know,...for both of you)  Take care.
853933
You said you're working on the relationship, but if he isn't, it probably isn't worth while.  If he has been like this forever, and you thought you could change him....yep, think again.   If he is as self centered as it sounds,  you moving out probably just gave him more free time to do what he wants.  Don't kill yourself working it out if he won't give 110% also.  Habits are hard to break, and no one is perfect, but feeling like dirt on the bottom of somebones shoe is not expected.  Your girls should be learning repects from both parents.
200125
lol, I am a 34 year old woman deeply in love with a 46 year old man!  No kidding.  It is working for us so far!  And I have never been happier. Not sure what kind of advice you need.  Our ages never seem to cause a problem.  Good luck to you both.
112729
I can understand where ur comin from... 2 yrs i found the perfect guy for me an i let him slip away an i regret it to this day even tho i have a boyfrien that i love very much... ive tried many ways to find him an havent had any luck... If u kno how to reach him let him kno how u feel... Tell him u wanna be wit him an ask him how he feels about u... If the feelins r mutual then gone head an do yo thang!!! :-D
157527
You should not care about if it is too old if you truly love each other... what you should think is if the boys are yours: Is he/she good to them?, will she/he make a good, caring parent? If the boys are not yours: Are you committed enough to be the best parent to them.  Because young children did not asked to be involved, they are just in the middle. And if you both are truly in love the answer to the above are Yes!!. Be in love and be happy no matter what age!!!
348114
I am really sorry that you feel the way you do. I love both my children very much. It honestly does seem like you need a professional to help you connect with your reasons why you don't have the motherly feelings for your youngest son. I am pleased to hear that you tried to get help but my heart aches for you that you couldn't find a caring individual to help you deal with your feelings. No matter what you do your family isn't going to understand your pain and your sorrow. Saying that you feel you can't get close to him and the fact that you don't want to try shows that you do have some feelings for him, not as a mother but as a human being...you don't want to hurt his feelings. I have always found that the best thing to do when family gives you advice is to take it and do what you want with it. If you are interested in attempting to connect with the feelings that you probably have that are dormant within you now that you and he are older you may want to try again finding a counsler to help you with what you have locked up deep inside. Even if you find that you cannot love him as a mother loves her children, at least treat him like a human being.....with kindness and gentleness, the same way you would treat a stranger. That at least might make things less rocky between you and him and your family. Do what is best for you and your son and I wish you all the luck and support that I can via the computer.
522345
do you like (or love) yourself? a little unsure, hu? not yet enough self-confidence, i suppose.\n\nguess you are a very young girl. \nyour education completed? \nyou and your family ok? \nnot enough boys around?\nor why this hurry?\n\nif you continue your "come and go" behavior you create the image "easy to have but not steady". not the best foundation for happiness.\n\nbtw: if you´re looking for mr. right - sorry, i am no longer in the offer (captured in 1983 - and i love it) :-))\n(2nd attempt - and it works // my wife says, í´m happy - and she´s right!) take your time.\n\nkeep learning but don´t waste yourself, show respect to the boy and his feelings. and to your own.\nwish you luck and patience
1018598
You know what? I don't think it is fair what some of the others have said..i think it is entirely possible to lose abit of that...and what you need to do is relive a lot of the past...remember a lot fo the romantic things you did for him and sneak those things back in to your repetoire...by that I mean...I sent my wife an Easter card when she went back to see her family in South America and she loved it..my wife and I started off by writing and emailing and while we've known each other for 11 years we've been married for 7.  I always try to do things, read old letters, look at pictures and read diaries of things we did together and I try to do them again...go to fine restaurants (tough with a child) but we do what we can.  I haven't fallen out of love with my wife but I think that it is necessary for you to start dating your husband on a weekly basis so that it doesn't happen again-FLIRT WITH HIM-go park..hehe whatever.....life is a long journey..sometimes it seems as though your priorities with children and work that sometimes you may lose the spark a bit..just light the pilot light again and do what you can to get his attention and it doesn't have to go back to the bed-especially if you are trying to see where his feelings lie with you...(no pun intended)...yeah that will get his attention in the short run..as it will in most men...BUT....it won't stand for the long run...so there has to be more.  maybe play hard to get a little..make him feel as though he has to give chase a bit...don't play the game too long...but...entice him..take him out for ice cream or even to a ball game EVEN if you HATE baseball or football...or a concert if he doesn't care for sports...\namusement park..you get the idea...do things that he LOVES to do that you would normally not care so much for because you CARE about doing stuff he is interested in...it is just an idea...surprise him...
1142726
These girls dont know what there talking about. Ive been exactly where you are. I was 18 and I fell inlove with some 42. It sounds so bad. I know its not "normal" but its not wrong either. I dont feel like you should cheat on your husband even if you've asked for a divorce. I feel that you should wait until its completely over. If the older man trully has feelings for you then he will wait. I wish you the very best!
782517
It was hard for me when I recently got in touch with an (THE) ex. At first it was just friendly, and then we talked a few times and I was hit with so many emotions it felt like I was punched in the stomach.  He was my first true love (at 18) and I realized that I still have feelings for him almost 20 years later-- and we are both married to others with children.  I told him how I felt and it was not great/emotional/embarassing to be feeling and acting like a teenager, though he let me down gently and we are still friendly.   So its been a tough few months. With other exs it has not been an issue, simply friendly, occassional correspondance with guys I knew in middle school, high school.  I think its not an issue if there are not any feelings left but friendly, fond memories.  If you discover, like I did, that the feelings are as fresh as they ever were than its much more complicated.  Good luck.
136828
Age is nothing but a number bestowed upon us at our birth. There's nothing wrong with a man in his 30's falling in love with someone whom may be a little older than him. Love works in mysterious ways. Why try to figure out the mystery of it when we can just sit back and enjoy it when it happens.
211593
Do you think you would have the same feelings for him/about him if he was closer to your age?  Society puts a lot of stipulations on this type of relationship.  My first love was a man who was 12 years older than myself (with whom I had a child) and I was married to a man 17 years my senior.  The age factor didn't bother me, but it did bother my husband.  He felt a little insecure with our age differences - he thought I would wake up one day and want to be with a younger man.  That wasn't the case at all.  We had fun together - laughed, good experiences - and not so good (like all relationships).  We had differing viewpoints on some issues, but nothing we couldn't agree to disagree on.  You need to ask yourself if you feel as if you would be missing out on something in life if you decided to stay in a relationship with this man.  Are you compatible in other ways?  Do you both want the same things out of life?  Are you happy?  Where do each of you see yourselves in 5 years - together or apart?  What about children?  No relationship is a piece of cake and with an age difference it makes it a little more difficult, but not impossible.  Follow your heart, do what makes you happy.
360675
Sometimes it's true that women's maturity level progresses faster than younger men's. In your case you might be feeling a bit uncertain because that statement does not apply to you. \nRemember: Age is only a number. So is salary.\n\nIf you can love him no matter what and want to work things out with him, no matter what, then he is the one for you.\n\nEveryone has differences in taste, his is 80's music and an early bed time.. so what? At least he isn't a drug addict and abuser. Take it for what it's worth... if he treats you well, is financially stable and willing to work on your relationship, you've got a winner!\n\nGood luck, and look out for yourself--
451810
Age isn't a barrier to love.  I would guess that a lot of the 'eeew' comments are  made by those who are in your age group.  I'm older than your boyfriend, and I can tell you that however old he is physically, he probably doesn't feel that old mentally.  I still feel about 34 but I'm in my fifties! (And I don't look that old, either!)\n\nHowever, you must be practical.  When you are 42 he will be 63.  When you are 63 he will be 84, and he may well be very elderly at that stage while you still have the energy to go dancing.  If the thought of caring for him at that stage doesn't put you off, then keep going, and disregard the funny looks and comments!
601221
age isnt the issue if u feel ur matyure enough u should and u know he feels the same way personality and maturity isnt defined by age -- so do what ur heart says asl long as u think first -- hope that helps email me and IM me anytime -- pinkfeverpink@yahoo.co.uk
50426
I know for a fact that parenting is not an easy task, maybe he's not ready after all. You said it already "his jobless and irresponsible." In that case i'm not so sure if he could be a good figure to your kid but please don't spare the love ur child needed ok. But honestly, I can't comment on the part that you being in love w/ him, there's no explanation it's all up to you. And everyone is stupid about love so ur not just the only one. LOL!  \n\nKeep smiling ... enjoy! \nI hope you get to know your soulmate!