my mom died and i want to know is there a way to not feel like it is my fault?
547818
It isn't your fault.  Sometimes we don't have a chance to say or do the things we wish we would have before someone passes on. The guilt can be unbearable.  When we are young, it is overwhelming beyond comprehension.  Here are a couple of links to groups that can help you understand the grief you are going through.  They can help because they have been there before.  God bless you sweetie.  \n\nhttp://www.griefnet.org/\nhttp://kidsaid.com/
764067
It is a sad thing to loose a parent.  It leave a mark on you and a pain that you really never get over.  I happen to be a funeral director and when I lost my parents, I went through the exact same thing.  I know it is of no comfort to you, but as time goes by, you will find that other things in your life keep you occupied.  You will never forget her, but in time God works a miracle in which the sharp pain associated with your loss gets a little less and you can reflect upon the joyous and happy times with a feeling of love and appreciation.  I know you probably find this hard to believe, and so did I, but it does happen.  My father died in 1987 and my mother in 1999, and at times is seems like it was only yesterday.  I hope you are able to find peace and understanding very soon.
1061253
its not necessary for u to fell sympathetic... infact the last thing she would want from u is sympathy.. she would probably want u to treat her like everything is fine just be normal and when she does start talking about her grief listen to her and comfort her help her if she needs ur help but dont sympathise just understand her grief and be there for her she need u now the most.. u DONT HAVE TO FEEL SORRY just make HER FEEL HAPPY. The fact that she threw her wedding ring is actually a good sign cause she is trying to overcome the grief and start over there is nothing wrong in it. just be there for her
997441
everyone deals with loss in different ways. what works for me may not work for you. just go somewhere so you can be alone and cry all you want. talk to your mother and tell her how you feel.
374494
I understand how you feel I lost my grandmother the same way. We were close and I am sure you were with your grandmother, she just wants to comfort you and let you know she still loves and not to be discouraged because she will all ways be there to watch over you. Don't be afraid it will all be okay.
969534
Know that as time passes by the pain will lesson. You always feel the void and nothing will fill its place but the pain is lessened with time. Allow grief to be. Allow memories to flow. Remembering can hurt but also help you heal. Talking about your parent will hurt also but will help you to keep their memory vivid. Don,t fear your emotions but know that they are normal. Keep yourself busy because when its somethings that's hurting you too much thinking time can be harmful. Remember that you are not alone in this emotion.
630430
No it's not your fault in any way shape or form.\n\n(sorry for your loss)
699030
Sometimes it is hard to go to a parent and admit that you aren't feeling like you used to or like you should. Maybe what you can do is seek an adult who you trust. Try talking to your doctor. Maybe you can have her/him talk to your mom so that way it is easier. My whole family has gone through depression. My little sister who I am very close to has been battling depression since she was 10. I never knew someone who was so sad she wanted to die and almost succeeded at 10 years old. I know all her feelings. She becomes sad too for no aparent reason. Usually it's because she isn't getting the time she needs with friends, or she feels like no one cares. It could be stress. It could be because something more than what you think is bothering you. If I were you I would talk to a counciler. At least if you talk to someone you can get help and get to the point where you feel better. Your mom should be your support system so let her know too. She'll be willing to help you. I know she would like to know if something is bothering her son.
1115218
Allow yourself the time to grieve, but don't let it consume you to the point where you are in a rut of self pity.  Tyler would have wanted you to go on with your life.  If you find yourself reaching the "feeling sorry for yourself" stage, then get out of the house, and find something to do.  Talk to others about it, especially those who also knew Tyler.  There is always a balance one needs to achieve when in this situation.  Do not deny the hurt you're feeling, but, at the same time, don't let that hurt overtake you to the point where you just shut down and don't care about life anymore.  Again, ask yourself, what would Tyler had wanted you to do?  \n\nI am deeply sorry about your loss.  My prayers will be with you.  May God give you his strength and comfort during your time of grief.
285128
You just need to be there for her.  Sometimes feeling like you have to say something can be uncomfortable for the both of you.  When my father died, I just appreciated my friends being there for me to talk to, I had enough people talking to me about what happened as it is.  Also, she may need time to grieve and sort things out.  If she wants to talk about it, she will.  Don't force her.
1024142
you're lucky you were close to her. Many people don't get to experience that. This is perfectly normal. You must be pretty close if you feel bad about stuff you may not want to tell her. Kids go through this stage all the time. It doesn't get better until you are both older and wiser. Be grateful. When I was 17 my mother and I used to fight all the time, because we were so different, and the fact that she just got remarried, had a kid and I no longer felt like part of the family. bit crap really!
245566
unfortunately these kind of things happen, In your place I would be offended also, I feel for you, and am sorry for the loss, it is hard to get over things like this. The only thing I can say is try not to dwell, I know it is easy to say and another to do, but If it will make you feel better you can go infront of the church. And again I am sorry for your loss!
247074
I recently lost my mom, this was hard because she was only 50 and it was completely unexpected. At her funeral service everybody in our very large extended family had something good to say, and not a single person had any negative. That is what I want.
322900
Well, life has it's tough roads. But the man upstairs will always guide you. You may feel lost and all alone, BUT YOU ARE NOT! As for the girl, GOOD RIDDENS! Remember, IT IS HER LOSS!!! NOT YOURS! Contact your lung associtionabout support groups in your area. As for the funeral, there was a reason you were kept from attending Only god knows the reason. If it really bothers you, write a nice letter to your dad telling him how you feel about missing the funeral. Then fold it up, Place it in an envelope and put away for safe keeping. Everytime you feel bad about dad, Pull out the letter and read it! DON'T GIVE UP!! keep going with school... Everything else will fall into place.
1029004
First I'm sorry for your loss and hope that you can recognize your own opinions and thoughts right now might be crowded with some grief.  Fortunately "she" is in the right hands.  The authorities will take care of everything and find what they can and hopefully find nothing.  Think of the good times you knew of her and let those things that are beyond your control go until there are decisions in front of you to make - right now it does not seem as though there are any.
218114
If this happened to you, I'm really sorry. Allow yourself to grieve - that is the best thing you can do. Accept the fact that you are sad and don't try to hide it. You have every right to feel sad, angry, sick - whatever it is you feel. Just know that with each passing day, it will get better and you will learn to cope. You will never stop missing that person, but the thoughts of grief will slowly be replaced with fond memories.
738386
You need to just call him and tell him that you know that you've made mistakes, but you really miss your mom and you really want to be a part of your sister and brother's lives, if he'll give you that chance. Explain that they are your only connection to you mom and though you weren't there during her death you want to be able to remember her with the people you love. I know the way I said it isn't how it happened but he's going to be much more likely to believe you and let you spend time with your family if you go along with his side of the story. Just talk to him and ask if you could maybe take your siblings out to lunch and talk to them about their lives and your mom because you really need to reconnect with them. Just be humble with him and honest about your feelings. I know what it's like to be completely disconnected from your family and then to try to reconnect after a tragedy and it's hard. People tend to think that you're being fake and you'll leave right after the tragedy is averted. Make it clear to your step-dad that you are there to stay and you want to be a part of their lives.