Ickle me Pickle me Tickle me to went for a ride in a flying shoe. Where did they find that flying shoe?
552232
Shoe fly don't bother me!
774102
ride the lightening!\nGod Bless
124764
ooh! I almost missed this one =)\n\nOnce upon a time in Disneyland there was a Victoria's Secret model named Oscar Wilde. All night and all day her third cousin twice removed forced her to scrub the toilet. Then one day, she received a visit from the little old lady who lived it a shoe. The old lady says, "Hi! I am Papa Smurf and I am here to pump... you up. \nLost in an unbearable lightness of being, Oscar says to P. Smurf "how many licks *does* it take?", to which Papa replies, "They are the eggmen. I am the walrus. Goo goo g' joob!" \n\nSo then Oscar and Papa find a field of magic mushrooms and live happily ever after...or did they?
973015
Unidentified Flying object\n\nusually "aliens"!
1130733
Thankyou!I just read the joke.The Three Men from one of your other questions.I literally almost fell out of my chair it was hilarious.
163559
This takes one back to the age old question, what do you do with a dog with no legs.\n\nAns.  Take it out for a drag.\n\nA Fly is a Fly unless it is a zipper.
457016
THE SHOES\n \nA guy walks into a shoe store and asks for a pair of size 8 tie shoes. The salesman says, "But, sir, I can see from up here you're at least a size 11."\nThe guy says, "Just bring me a size 8 tie shoe."\nThe salesman brings them, the guy stuffs his feet into them, ties them tight, and then he stands up, obviously in pain. The salesman just has to ask, "Sir, why must you have these undersized shoes?"\nHe says to the salesman, "I lost my business and my house, I live with my mother-in-law, my wife is screwing my best friend, my daughter is pregnant, and my son is gay. The only pleasure I have in life is taking off these damn shoes." \n\n--------\n\n\nArnold and his wife were cleaning out the attic one day when he came across a ticket from the local shoe repair shop. The date stamped on the ticket showed that it was over eleven years old. They both laughed and tried to remember which of them might have forgotten to pick up a pair of shoes over a decade ago.\n"Do you think the shoes will still be in the shop?" Arnold asked.\n"Not very likely," his wife said.\n"It's worth a try," Arnold said, pocketing the ticket. He went downstairs, hopped into the car, and drove to the store.\nWith a straight face, he handed the ticket to the man behind the counter. With a face just as straight, the man said, "Just a minute. I'll have to look for these." He disappeared into a dark corner at the back of the shop.\nTwo minutes later, the man called out, "Here they are!"\n"No kidding?" Arnold called back. "That's terrific! Who would have thought they'd still be here after all this time."\nThe man came back to the counter, empty-handed. "They'll be ready Thursday," he said calmly.
1109492
And, what did he say AFTER she kicked him in the balls and knocked him on the floor and blinded him by grinding her spike heel into his eyes...?\n\n\n(Alternative answer: Thanks for the warning, I'll make sure I don't buy a BMW! On second thought, a car that generates gas, instead of having to be filled up...? Maybe I'll buy one after all!)
1055681
Why did the two blondes jump off the building?\nanswer: to see if their maxypads really had wings.\n\nthere were to blondes going to disney land and they came to a fork in the road, the sign said disney land left< so they turnt around and went back home.
972281
Jumpin from an airplane with an open chute.\n\n\nPeace.
830710
A fly. Whats the point, The just buzz about all day and Poop everywhere (although there poop is too small for the human eye)\nPlus!\n\nThey land on dog poo, then they fly into your house and land on all kinda things like your chopping board and dinner table! Urgh!\nTheve gotta be the worlds most useless animal!
584157
LMAO. Wow. That was pretty funny. Thank you. So hard to choose though. Possibly Devastatin' Dave and his "Zip Zap Rap" - worst title ever, worst pants, worst placement of the word "Zap". Then there's those strange, naked hobbits of Orleans, and Orion (whoever the hell that is) reborn as a cross between Elvis and Liberace in a blue jumpsuit wearing an inexplicable Eyes Wide Shut party mask!! Finally, the two mullet masterpieces of Ken, and Mr. Chicken Coupe de Ville. I'm going to lie down and die laughing now.
895811
cockrobin\n\n"WHAT'S THAT UP MY @RSE BATMAN"
6161
Falling On The Ground Laughing My A** Off\n\nmore popular version is FOTFLMAO:\n\nFalling On The Floor Laughing My A** Off
849770
Giggle (small one). I've heard it before but we need more clean jokes like that :)
5371
:< I am on a deserted island.\n\nOur plane crashed and we are the survivors of Oceanic flight 815.\n\nOur computer never get switched off.\n\nDo you know who is the mole within us?
183912
Straight up in the air :)\nStand back