overeaters anonymous...my sister wants to go and wants me to go with her...any advice?
535766
I haven't been to OA, but I have gone to another 12 step group. She should think about and decide (you too if you go) if you want to identify yourself as an "addict" or not because everyone else will. If you aren't comfortable with doing so, you don't have to. You want what you say to come from the heart, so don't be afraid of standing out and appearing different from other people. They'll be fine with it. No one will push you to do anything you don't want to do. At least, they shouldn't. (I've used "you" to refer to your sister from here on out. It's easier that way.) \n\nThere is an OA book, I believe, like a manual, you can buy. Try searching the web or Amazon. It may be good to look at before you go to a meeting. \n\nMeetings are all different. Some are more structured than others. There is a speaker, and a time to "get current" when you discuss your recent temptations, etc. You can try different meetings around you to get a feel for what "fits."\n\nJust remember that you don't have to feel locked into doing or saying anything you are uncomfortable with, even though everyone is doing it. You (or she) can always "pass" if the discussion is going around a circle or something. It seems so foreign and structured at first, but after awhile you get used to it and that becomes comfortable because you know what to expect. \n\nI like 12 steps, though I haven't been going to my meetings recently. I've been "sober" for over a month now and wouldn't have been if I hadn't gotten involved in 12 step. It does work for some people. I wish her the best.
890243
I know how you feel- no relaxed visiting- just a mad dash to make it to the next get together.  Its nice to be invited to more than one place, but it is a strain and really no fun to have to rush through a visit or dinner.  \n     You have a good idea, I think if I were you, I would go ahead and separate for the day to each family.  Especailly since you have family that you only see this time of year.  That time is precious- and you won't get the time back.
147188
ok well the if she is younger like under 18 and i know you dont want to betray your friends trust but the best thing for you to do is tell her parents even though she might hate you but its well worth it...i am only assuming she is younger because that is usually when most eating disorders typically start with girls in their teens and twenties if she is older try to convincer her to go seek help at a medical facility  good luck
224193
Make a day that you can take her with you. Set it up with your friends, and tell them that you know its a bother to do so, but you want to make her happy too. Then head to the park or something.. Hang for about an hour or so... Tell your sister that she can come hang with you all, but only for a hour, then its time for her to head home and find something else to do... This gives your sister a little time with you, (she looks up to you)... And time with your friends... I used to always want to hang with my older sister and she hated it, but I loved her, and wanted to be with her do things she did....
93358
I know some people that have had this and I'm sure you realize how serious eating disorders are. Try to help her decide to get over it. She must be the one that decides. Watch her because as you know, it can be life threatening. If she gets in too much trouble you must get her to a hospital. Until then, take steps to let her know it is a problem that needs help. If her family would help then get them to know.
1110779
I don't think it is impossible, unless she locked herself away and ate continously, with very high fat content carb items. \n\nThat would be very difficult to do, even with remaining inactive. \n\nThe good thing is, if she goes back to normal eating, it should drop off fairly easy.  It sounds like she is clinically depressed, with the trauma of losing her brother.  \n\nIf there is some way, you can get her to open up, to do other things, to listen, talk, or just be with you, she needs to do something else, so she doesn't continue this unhealthy sprial downwards.  If she is severely depressed, ask her if she has had thoughts of suicide.  She needs to talk to someone.  There may be some help lines/phone lines she can call into to talk, or she needs to see her Doctor.    \n\nGood luck, and I hope she gets better soon.
746815
yes..Try to note one whole day what she eats..i have a friend too shes obseessed with dieting.\nOur parents are ppl we depend on and want love and attension from..What ever they put in our heads we CAN NEVER forget.\nEven if its OUR own feeling about what they expect fromus.\nShes probably dieting like hell and not telling ya.\nhelp her...plz.
238187
Hi! This is Sandra,  Im sorry you are having such a tough time  But I have to tell ya straight up and out STOP IT  can u imagine what u are going to turn into?  Now its only 70lbs think about the future, the way you feel when its time to get dressed for a function or heck just to go to the store  Large people have a hard time dressing not to mention all the health issues that are gonna appear  I believe if when your thinking about food you need to distract yourself  "PRAY" do something  nobody can do it for you  but I do know that there are many people that feel your pain  The only way I can lose weight is to starve my self and I dont recommend it, its very bad for your body  You have to kick that bad "HABIT"  to the curb "YOU" must change your ways or be a fatso  that is the cold hard truth  Get some friends or loved ones to promote you and make a commitment to yourself and your health   k  GOOD LUCK
112309
Stop going to family events ... when they ask "why" you aren't or weren't there ... tell them you didnt' have the energy for their drama ...
726884
Tell her that you both be on your best behaviour and perhaps even suggest that you two mate will prepare supper and/or breakfast for her.  Be honest with whatever promises you make to your mother and perhaps she will allow this to happen more often.  Good luck and I hope you are able to get your way and have your friend spend the night at your house.
876605
For me, eating is an addiction. I did it for lots of reasons, and for no reason, at lots of different times. When I wasn't eating I was thinking about eating, or how much I had eaten, or what diet to go on next, or how much and in what ways to exercize to get the weight off. I knew it was crazy, but I couldn't stop overeating for very long, if at all. I've tried so many diets, and most have worked for some period of time. I've tried many kinds of exercize on many different plans, and most worked for a time. But, for me, the addiction was still there, and until I dealt with that, nothing else could solve my problem. \nEveryone has different solutions, and I hope you find one that is perfect for you. My solution is Overeaters Anonymous. I don't have to pay to join, or sign a contract, or buy anything, and I can stay as long as I want or leave if I don't like it. I've lost 40 pounds and kept them off without any diets or exercize plans for over six years. I know so many people who are in Overeaters Anonymous and have kept off hundreds of pounds for over 20 years, and are at a healthy body size. Everything I hear in Overeaters Anonymous is just a suggestion and people told me to take what worked for me and leave the rest. I don't have to do, believe, or try anything, but I found when I put aside my huge cynicism, it actually did work. Whatever you choose to do, I really hope you find something that works for you.
928203
I had an answer for this, but it was too close to Cinnamon's. Give her the 10 pts. I've been in this situation enough times - don't even try to over-feed yourself. \n\nIt's great to start with intentions of only having one part of the meal at one place, but the next thing you know, the stuffing smells sooooo good, and you're stuffed! :)\n\nYour families should understand that you want to see everyone. What matters is that you're making the effort to visit with them all, and that you're not making anyone wait for you. Have fun!
1040641
This sounds horrible, I would be livid.  Say something, let your sister know that if she is going to come by she needs to clean up.  Have you discussed this issue w/ your parents b/c all of you may need to confront her about this.  There is nothing worse than a trifling visitor.  But do not keep your feelings about the situation bottled up.  Or beat her at own game, go to her house and mooch off of her.
882592
Jamie, you HAVE to eat.  It's not healthy to starve yourself.  You should simply make sure you watch your portion control and your salt and sugar intake.  Most "diets" suggest that it is healthier and results in quicker weight loss if you eat five or six healthy, small portioned meals than if you don't eat at all.  I'm sure this has nothing to do with your sister and everything to do with your mom loving you.\nOn a personal level, unless you're five feet tall or less why on earth would you wanna be a size zero?  Isn't a size three or five small enough.  Please be healthy.    Good Luck!
453278
Well you can't be there every time she eats something, but you can help her with exercise, go for a walk, or ride or do some aerobics or something.\nJoin a sport together.\nMaybe she just needs someone to exercise with.\nIt can't hurt you either!
249122
Pass out little debbie cakes to all of them and tell them all to eat something!!!!  Just kidding sweetie.  I actually used to be really really big and recently lost 87 pounds.  I don't really like outside kind of exercises because I feel like everyone is watching me so I dance all the time to my radio at home.  And I dont eat until i am full anymore.  I stop eating when I don't feel hungry anymore.  Plus I drink water constantly all day long.  It helps to flush out your body so you lose weight faster. I hope this helps you sweetie and Good Luck!! (NO SODA!!!! it is really bad on your kidneys and lowers your metabolism)\nBut if u r really only 10 years old...then u shuldn't be worried about your weight right now.  Just enjoy your childhood sweet-heart!  Live Life Happy...that's why God put us here!
973311
i guess you could choose to go to your aunts and not go with your mother. sure you may not have a big thanksgiving dinner but the two of you could come up with something. i think that even if you ended up eating soup and a sandwich together that would be great. i think you would both like that. so, tell your mom that you are going to spend it with your aunt.