My son is dating a girl that the whole family and his friends very much dislikes.? He is 19 years old.?
548038
I think it is probably your son is not close to you before and he has no one to turn to for love. Hence some teenagers find love in the wrong place. It is already proven that family history affects a person's choice of partner.\n\nI believe you should take some time to bond with your child, no matter what it takes, and no matter what happens I believe you can forgive him for what he has done to you. Hurting it is but you need to start now by being part of his life and helping him, letting him know that you support him. I believe lectures and scolding will not help, this will drive the distance further between you two.\n\nYou need to find time and activities to spend together to build up the relationship, it may or may not be immediate, but I believe he will be touched by your unconditional love one day.
19900
First of all, she can only control what he allows her to.  I understand that he does not want to disrespect her but she has too obviously butted in before.  Don't involve her in personal business and decisions. As a matter of fact, keep discussions with her on subjects about HER.  Try putting distance between him and her. It's really sad to say, but if he doesn't put an end to this, it won't end.
499653
Tell him it's your son and you don't approve of him doing that.\n\nIf he does it again either keep him away from your family or kick his a@@.
1109996
Yeah, he's a brother, if you want him to back off basically you'd have to stop dating her... otherwise he's just doing what brothers are supposed to do; protect his sister from other guys ;-)  doesn't matter if you're a good or bad influence, it's his brotherly duty to make it difficult for you...
840937
That's going to be a tough one, but it's good for you to let him know how you feel about this leech he's dating.  When he's available, have a sit down with your bro, tell him to keep his calm, and that the following words you'll utter are not meant to raise his ire in any way.  Express your criticism of her (in a detailed, but not an overly emotional way) and see if he understands.  Tell him that he is a good guy who deserves better, and there are great single ladies out there who would not suck him dry of money, etc..\n\nHe may or may not listen.  But at least you gave it a shot.
192096
take ur son and go what can she say she is bussy getting laid anyhow so u r better 4 him \nhe dont need to b around a woman like that cause then he will think all women r like that and he may grow up 2 treat them bad
191175
Definitely not right!!! different interests, different points of view, he's an adult and could manipulate her and push her to do things she's not ready to do yet!\nShe needs someone on her age.
22702
This may not be exactly what you want to hear but I'm going to answer your question in the adult manner in which you asked it.\n\nIf the relationship is meant to be, it will last the test of time...time for both of you to grow up a bit more & wait to date with your parents approval. I know this doesn't help much but everyone, including your boy-friend is trying to look out for you & do what's best. Personally, it always annoyed me when people did this for me when I was your age so I can understand you feeling like you don't know where to turn.\n\nMy suggestion is to remain friends with this boy & don't try to take things too fast. There is always time for dating in a few years, not to mention all of the other things that tend to come with dating. While you might feel ready for some of that now, you will appreciate it much more after having waited for it & building a stronger friendship. Yes, I know you may not believe this right now so, please, read this little story about my cousin...\n\nI have a cousin who met a boy when they were both young...just about your age, in fact. The two of them became friends but he was shy &, as time went on, he never asked her out. He didn't go out with anyone else either & always spent his free time with her. Well, when they turned 16 & 17, he finally asked her out & they dated only each other. As it turned out, the boy had asked my uncle long ago what his rules were about dating his daughter (when he was about 14, I believe) & also told my uncle of his intention to marry her someday. While my uncle didn't believe it at the time, he certainly did as the years rolled by & the boy refused to date anyone other than my cousin. All the way through high school & college they were a pair &, believe it or not, they didn't even go in for the things that most teenagers do, if you know what I mean. To everyone else it just seemed like a sweet & gentle relationship.\n\nWhen they finally moved to that next level of a relationship, they were already in college, having been together & waited years with nothing more than kisses & hugs. They are now married with a beautiful child &, I promise you, have one of the strongest relationships that I have ever seen. I honestly think this is because they were friends first & took their time learning everything about each other.\n\nI hope this helps & that you can learn something useful from my cousin's story...
1124288
i can tell you one thing, i have been in your shoes. when my husband and i first got together his mom and his sister hated me. and that was ok because the feeling was mutual. he basicaly looked at his mom and told her "hey this is the girl i want to be with, forever, and if you don't like it that to f** bad. " His mom wasn't very happy with this. he moved out of the house and moved in with me. She only saw him on holidays because he didn't want anything to do with her if she wasn't going to accept me. And yes i know it has to do with "taking away her baby boy" blah blah blah. His mom didn't like me until 2 yrs later when i gave birth to her granddaughter. Mind you, we were already married. So my advice to you is be kind, be nice and take it with a grain of salt. If he loves you then he will be the one to step up and say somethig to his family. He'll be a man about the situation and explain to everyone that you are the one for him and they need to accept you and respect you and the relationship that he has with you. Good Luck!
358341
he is only talking bad about you because he is fighting for time with his girlfriend, and you are always around.  Maybe you should give them some space.  Tell you girlfriend that you don't feel comfortable around him because he's hateful and put the ball in her court.  If she's a true friend, then she will explain to him that his behavior is unacceptable.  If she chooses her boyfriend over you, and can't seem to find a compromises between you two, then you should find someone else to hang around with.
942421
You guys need to grow up, if he is going out with her then don't bother them.  But you can still be friends with her.
1115998
She's no "good friend".  That sounds like a Lifetime Television for Women movie.  You know, as a mother I want to say I'd kick her @ss.  But really, at this point there isn't anything you can do but sever your friendship with her.  He's 20 now, and the statue of limitation for rape ends at age 18 in most states (though you might want to research this for your state).  Your son, if he's the "mature type" could have very well seduced her.  But as I said, he's 20 now and there's nothing you can legally do.  I know you are hurt, angry and betrayed, I would be too.  And I'm so sorry for you.  Hopefully you and your son can discuss this and find out why/how it started.  But I would definately approch the woman and ask her why?  How would she feel if a man her age had an affair with her 16 or 17 year old daughter?  She'd have him in jail so quickly.  Remind her of that.  \n\nJesus, lady.  My heart goes out to you, really.  If you ever want to chat more, send me a message and we can exchange email address.  Good luck.
536565
i feel sorry for you. i have a similar situation. my boyfriend's mother doesn't like me as well. we have been together for more than 4 years now.  what i suggest is you discuss this matter with your boy and try to win your future mother in law.  if you can't just fix your relationship with your man and just ignore her.  what's important is that you and your man are madly inlove with each other.
687674
When I was 14, I had a boyfriend who was 19. He was a really sweet guy, and respectful. The thing her parents will hate you for is if you rush her into sexual experiences. If you truly care, DON'T. If you can really be mature about this issue (for the both of you) then you will be happy together.
472128
I lived this situation for 10 long years!  Sometimes, parents have a valid reason for disliking their daughter's man.  How does he treat you?  Does he take care of his child?  Does he hold a job?  If it's just about social status I would tell your parents that it's your life and your decision and stick to it!  If there are valid reasons for their opinion perhaps you should re-examine your choice.
439791
You are jealous of their relationship and you have no reason to she is his sister, you are his girlfriend. He loves his sister and hopefully he loves you(I can't really say for sure, I don't know you all) but if you force a division between them in any way he will resent you for it.
790101
You should not blame yourself for this. The guy sounds like a jerk to me. I have not really had the best relationships with guys either, so I understand how you are feeling. My situations were not exactly like yours, but I still get how you are feeling. The only thing I can give you for advise is that if he is not "man" enough to keep a relationship with your daughter, then it will be him that loses out on a great little girl. As for dealing with her... I can only say I would try to have as little communication with HER as possible. If your daughter goes to visit him, make sure that you are talking with him to make the arrangements. If you feel that you two "are not suppose to be together" I think that you should make that crystal clear to him, there is nothing harder than letting him think that there is something between you when you in reality have no feelings for him. It will only make things more difficult for you in the long run. Another little tip is to keep someone in your life that you feel like you can always turn to for advise either a close friend or family member (this always helps me and plus you get a second opinion for free). I hope that this little bit helped :-)