Why does my mom hate my boyfriend/ soon to be fiancee?
537525
Moms just have this built in instinct.  I had this very debate with my daughter a few years back...she was young, had all the answers, and thought I was the worst for not accepting her boyfriend...she got pregnant with his child, decided to marry him, and moved in with him and his mother, all without my blessing....and as predicted...she is now divorced, lives with another man and has his child, and her first daughter lives with her ex.  All of this could have been prevented had she been mature enough to listen to experience.  But....young people for the most part, don't get it.  That's how you learn.  If you have wise council in your home...take it and accept it as a gift...not every child has this luxury.
530666
I know you love your fiance, but it's obvious his mother doesn't love you.  You're gonna have problems.  I'd tell you to beat her with an aluminum bat, but that wouldn't get you anywhere.  Tell your fiance exactly what you're telling us.  Don't try to avoid conflict, cuz it already exists, and will only get worse.  Have your fiance bring this up with his mother, and try to iron things out.  Is there a reason his mother chooses the other girl over you?  Does his mom even know the real you?  Who you are?  How much you love her son?  That bitch!
944420
I'll advise you stick to hope that things will improve with time. Your friend's brother is probably still angry about something that may have happened in your relationship with your fiancee or with himself. You may need to summon courage to ask to discuss your differences. Meanwhile stick to hope and the positive - the fact that your fiancee still sticks up for you. She and mom are still on your side, aren't they? That's enough to sustain hope. Best wishes for a happy resolution.
110590
wow that is very messed up...dont hate your moms hate her husband because he may have been the one who talked her into it..he may have threatened her or even he had been abusing her all along in secret...(she doesnt have to have bruises to show she has been abused..threats are verbal abuse as well) and she may have been scared of him.
1148957
It is possible that your parents are judging him before they have a chance to get to know him better but there is also a huge chance that they are correct about him too. The word white trash is a terrible word to use no matter what it is they see in him when explaining to you why they don't care for him. It would have been better for you if they explained exactly why they don't like him. Remember, they are your parents and parents want the best for their children.  At your age and I remember it well, i felt my feelings for my boyfriend, at the time, were so strong that nothing would change it, not my mom or anyone else but my feelings did change and the advice my mother gave me was pretty accurate even though i didn't want to believe it. I continued to date his guy for six years, from fifteen to nineteen. We broke up my first year in college. I changed but for the better. One thing i learned was you can't change any one.  When i started dating again I met men who were closest to the things i like or admired. For all you know the mistake you think you made could be the best thing you have ever done even though it doesn't feel that way right now.  You have many years to find the right guy or one you don't have to change. Your parents might say things to you that will encourage you to do the complete opposite of what they want but parents do have an advantage over their children, experience.
263795
TELL HER YOU DON'T GIVE A FU*CK WHAT SHE THINKS AND THAT YOU ARE GETTING MARRIED TO YOUR MAN. AND THEN IF SHE DOESN'T WANT TO GET TO LIKE OR KNOW YOU WELL THE HE*LL WITH HER YOU DON'T GIVE A FU*CK. I MEAN DAM*N HOW MUCH OF A BI*TCH DOES SHE HAVE TO BE. TELL HER TO GO FU*CK SOME DI*CK AND CHILL OUT AND STOP BEING A BI*TCH. MY HUSBANDS MOM WAS LIKE HER SHE ALWAYS HAD HIM MAD AND WHEN HE GETS MAD HE IGNORES EVERYONE FU*CK I DIDN'T DO SH*IT. SHE WILL JUST KEEP GETTING HIM PISSED OFF ALL DAY! TELL YOUR MAN THAT EITHER SHE STOPS BEING THE WAY SHE IS TO YOU OR YOU GO AND IF YOU LOVE ME YOU WILL TELL HER TO STOP THAT WETHER SHE LIKES IT OR NOT YOU ARE GETTING MARRIED TO HIM AND THAT'S IT!!!!!!
1085761
Has it occurred to you that he hates you just as much as you hate him and he's waiting for you to grow up and move away so that he can have the normal life he deserves?  Face it - there is not a damn thing you can do to 'make him move out' so you need to grow up and deal with the fact that your mother loves him and he is there to stay.\n\nKnock it off and stop being a brat.
325416
Your mother is still a human being, she may think you hate her, and imagine if the person you love more than anything started hating you.  How would you feel?  My mother and I have a very rocky past, but In the end, a simply, tear-filled, "I love you" gets the point across.  It sounds like she has her hands full with the house, and is hurt about how you acted.  On the other hand, it also sounds like she isn't quite as forgiving as she should be.  But like I said, she is only human.  I think it is the hardest part of growing up when you find out your mom isn's SuperMom, but a person with her own doubts and feelings.  Hug her, tell her you love her, and walk away.  Just walk away and let her calm down.  Clean a bit, but do it when she isn't looking, since you don't want her to think you are only doing it to get on her good side.  You aren't.  You are doing it because you care...
677284
Maybe you mom's trust issues are not with you but with your boyfriend. Also, at 16 you are starting to find out who you really are.  If you start to get involved with someone now, that could harm your ability to figure out who you are and what you believe in. If you have not done this yet, you may want to ask your mom why she does not want you to date at this time and when she thinks it would be a good time for you to start dating.  It is not good to ask these questions in the middle of an argument, but ask your mom if you could talk to her when you are both calm.  Your mom may have a lot of valuable insight for you, or she may have some irrational fears. You will never find out unless you two can sit down and communicate. Good luck.
1017119
You can talk to your mom about how you feel about her partner.  Let her know you are worried for her safety as well as your own safety.  You can only let her know how you feel and try to point things out to her - you can't make her see the light or get rid of him.
1090425
You and your husband will have to make a real effort on this one, and be the bigger people so to speak.  I don't think it's normal for a mother to act like that towards her son and his fiancee, now his wife.  Something is definitely wrong with her mentally.  Just remember that you can choose your friends, but not your family.  I think you and your hubby will have to speak with his mother about the wedding thing, just to get past it and clear the air.  She needs to know how it made you feel to be let down on your Big Day.  You can choose to forgive her or forget it, but you have to be able to move past what's happened in the past.  I don't really have any big words of wisdom other than to take the high road and don't play into her games.  Sometimes you gotta call a Spade a Spade!  No matter how bad she treats you, turn your cheek and be extremely nice back to her.... it gets them every time!
165735
Start by not making an assumption about your boyfriends mom.  She may just simply not be the type to get close to anyone that isn't yet family.  She is also going to be naturally worried that you might eventually hurt her little boy.  Just relax and be yourself, over time you will prove to her that you are worthy of her boys heart.  In the mean time try to talk to her and find out her interests.  If you show an interest in her as a person and not just his mom it will help.  Sometimes it just takes a comment about how you hope that some day you can get to know her better to get her to open up.
455307
parents back then were that type of persons with their families, and they just were raised themselves that way and is not your mother's fault, but her, mother, and then her mother of her mother...and so on....nonetheless, you can make the change with your family and with you followed generations to come.....in your case, I can see that you have these hateful feelings about your mom, and brothers....Remember that things happens for one reason, you don't know why it happened the way it happened, but thank God, you are ok, even though you feel these feelings.....Try to forget if you can, try to do well to others and always, talk to others, the way you were treated like that others wont do what your mom did to you, and let this experience be of good use to others and forget all bad feelings and live a healthy life you and your family, God bless you and if you could Get a bible study..Good luck.
827405
First off, are your parents living in the dark ages...\nGo and do what you want [Not what they want] go see your boyfriend and his family..\nTell your mom in a nice way NO I am going to visit with my boyfriend and his family and that is final. \nYou are 20, you tell them what your plans are and go for it..They have no hold on you anymore...\nSome parents just don't want to let go, but now is a good time to stand up for yourself....
445194
No one should hate it is corrosive to your own health. Mothers in law tend to respond to their children as though they never grew up. This feeds over into the spouse and creates resentment. If you can find a way to see past this it will eventually get better for you.
496288
I know how you feel. My boyfriends parents don't hate me, but they tend to always bring up the worst about me. Is he very attached to his brother? My experience has told me that when people are attached theyll do anything to keep them around, even say bad things about the ones they love. With me, any arguments, anything wrong ive said gets brought up over and over again by his mother, and him sometimes and everyonce in awhile they convince him of what theyre saying, usually when hes mad or tired. Anyway, you should care what his family thinks, and the best thing to do is try and get to know them all better and talk to your boyfriend about the situation. I;ve found that getting closer with my BF's family has helped and his sister even defends me now. They're just afraid of losing him, ecspecially since youve been together a long time ( for me its been a year and three months)\n\nI wish you the best of luck.
57978
OK, hon. First of all, you don't need to prove your love to him. No matter what anybody says. No matter who you date, they will never be good enough for mommy and daddy. (Unless they pick the person) Second, don't focus so much on love. Give it time. I don't know how old you are, and personally I don't consider it an issue. If you focus on love, you will be heartbroken if things don't work out. I'm not saying set your standards low. I am not saying don't love this person. What I am saying is spend time with him. Enjoy the relationship. Don't get married young. And for gods sake don't get married without first living with the person. People seem VERY different when you have to share space with them. Trust me about that one. Don't rush. True love doesn't need a wedding band. If you love someone, being with that person should be enough. Sex is nice, but even that isn't necessary. The company of your significant other is all that is necessary. If you two love each other than that is all that matters. Marriage and sex are over rated. (Sex is nice, but still over rated) If you love him then your parents will eventually come to the realization that he is sticking around. They will either come to accept it, or they will disown you. I know this. I have been married. I was only 19. I told my parents the day before. At first they accused me of being crazy. They made some pretty insulting comments, and I told them to go fuck themselves. They learned to accept my wife and even grew to like her. You are your own person. Heres a motto that my stepfather taught me. "If you don't fuck me, feed me, or pay my bills......Go fuck yourself!" Your family is an important part of your life, but you didn't choose them. You were born with them. You couldn't change who they were. Your boyfriend is somebody that you chose to bring into your life. Your parents should respect your decisions. And if they think you are a fool for being with him...... remind them of who taught you. What examples did you have to follow. They are the 2 biggest influences in your life. Whether you know it or not. Everything that you have witnessed from them as a child has molded you to be the person that you are today. Everything from not enough hugs to the overprotectiveness. They have made you who you are. If they are unhappy with that, then they should try to do a better job next time.