Ok, Here i go. Am in love with my ex, but am married to another guy. Wat do i do?
546655
You still love your X.  You love your husband, and if you're still young, you WILL feel strong attraction to possibly one or more others in your future.  \nThis happens to ALL of us, as a mechanism for survival of the species.  It is BUILT IN to us to love more than once.\n\nLove never dies.  But something went wrong between you and your X, and the relationship ended.  That one thing will never change between you, and will always be remembered.\n\nYou invested in this marriage because it seemed good.  You worked to make it good.  Are you working to KEEP it good?\nI am willing to bet either you or your husband have become lazy in going through the effort to be "attractive", and that just kills romance.\nThen we think we are not loved anymore.  In a marriage, that is very much BS.  Of course you are still loved.  Love does not die.  But it can be overshadowed by the demon PRIDE.\nGet rid of pride.  Do things to make yourself enticing and attracting.  And you can make the LOVE even better than ever before between you and your husband.\n\nI've been in a relationship that nearly died, and salvaged it with just a little effort on my part.  Wanted to leave, and figured, what the heck, I've got nothing to lose, let me play the game all the way out...so I did the bit of work needed to bring back the sparks. \n\nIt seems stupid at first, and remember PRIDE is a demonic factor.  But if you treat it like a game, you can have some fun with it, and get a very surprising outcome.\nIs he looking at another woman?  That is NOT an issue betweent he TWO OF YOU.   Sweetie, you have the advantage.  He's yours most all the time, right?\nHave a blast, entice and attract him, and you'll start to see him acting goofy again.  He won't even know what's happening, just that he feels good around you again.  It's just like dating.  They come back because you make them feel good more than any other girl.  Use those same keys to his heart again...who knows him better than you?\nDo the make-up, perfume, (try a mixture of the spice cinnamon+baby powder), and FLIRT with your husband!!!  Bend over.  Touch his shoulder.  Touch him lightly in the middle of the night, you'll even here his breathing change.\nWatch how he begins to spark at you once again.\nManipulate time alone with him.  Don't make an announcement on any of this...just work it girl.\n\nYou ARE married, and you do love your husband, and you always will.  Let the ex go, and quit turning outside for solutions to your marriage. Give him all the attention and effort you're presently giving the X.   \nTurn your efforts INTO the marriage and get busy being all girly again.  Oh yeah, and another really important thing.\nBecome your husbands best friend.  Let him know you really are his best friend, and that you like spending time with him.  Compliment him a little (not too much).\n\nALL marriages go through dry spells, especially when no one is trying to keep it interesting.  Don't make the mistake of saying, well HE'S not making the effort!  That is a load of BS and you know it.  Not many men even know how to make the effort unless they have an erection.  If you want him to jump through hoops, then you'll have to make sure he gets and erection first!  ha ha ha ha\n\nBe the Girl all we women can be if we want to.\nI wish you love
494890
I'm sorry, you are in a tough situation.  Sometimes guys grow out of that cheating thing when they get older.  Some don't.  If you are happy in your present relationship, then focus on that.  If you have doubts, then maybe give your ex another chance, if you think he really loves you.  It sounds like he does, but it was hard for him to commit at such a young age.  I might give him another chance....but not at the expense of your current relationship.  Try to think about which person you feel you are better with.  Who makes you happier?  Who makes you feel good about yourself and life in general?  Who is nicer to you?  Who is the most responsible?  Think about it.  Again, sorry, relationship questions are the worst.
161068
Of course you can love them both.......But you will have to love one better than the other. You will have to make a choice sooner or later as to which you love better. I imagine you made wedding vows to your wife. Did you promise your coworker anything? Who did you make promises to first? Will you have to break your promises to one of them in order to continue loving the other? If you think you can love them both the same, you can't.
138916
You probably will not be over him completely until you are involved with another man.  There is, as you know, a man-shaped space inside your . . . heart . . . that you need to fill.  Choose wisely this time, and you won't have to go through this again.
973328
I dont think that you should start a relationship with someone else if you are still in love with #1. You need to end the contact with #1 so you can move on with your life and find someone who will treat you with the respect you deserve. No one deserves to be treated the way #1 treated you. I would try to explain to #2 how your feeling and maybe he can help you get through the feelings for #1. Guy #2 sounds like a very good guy and maybe he can understand what you are going through.
361475
If you 've truely been unhappy for 15 years, I'd say you've been married for 14 years too long.  However, my initial response was that a marriage is very much like a business partnership, but you are right that it also needs love and romance to flurish.  \n\nWhat concerns me is the apparent infatuation with this other guy.  You must have found something appealing about your current husband that you wanted to marry him.  And something worthwhile to stick it out for 15 years, my gosh.  I am concerned that once you leave your husband, which I think you should, the novelty and infatuation with the new guy will wear off.  Living with someone is always much different than "dating" them.  \n\nI think you should leave your current husband only for issues you have with him, not because you think you may have found a better replacement.  It would be really sad to leave a good provider to find out the new guy is not up to par in some bad ways.  Get out of the marriage first, then take the new relationship as it comes.
515100
although you seem to be going through a lot of pain, and i do feel for you, the problem  is still the same...you want two wives! can't do that man, sorry. there is no way that you can fully love two people the same. you have to let one of them go. you might not think it's fair to you, but that's selfish. have you ever thought about what the women want? stop being selfish and let one of them move on and find someone who is willing to be with only them.
436939
There are still memories of that person u still have ...\n\nAll i can say is ur being self-centered ... ur first mistake was getting married to ur current hubby ... n then ur second mistake was having a kid ..... ur third mistake is thinkin u can get ur ex back ..... \n\nur gonna keep on makin mistakes unless u stop thinkng bout him ... Frankly wud u rather risk ur entire life or b with ur hubby who loves u n ur child n have a family ??\n\nif u want out then do it asap be4 u hurt more n more people
179303
You have to be true to your heart andlisten to it.  What ever you do do not marry someone else till  you know for sure ...That is what i did  and i am still in love with my ex...
76891
This is a hard one. If you love both the same, you cant really tell who is your true love. So what I would do in this situation is stay with the one you are with now. If the first one left you before.. he can definatly leave you again.. making the pain that much worse. Besides you are already with one you love. You wont be leaving anyone but continueing with what fate has brought you.
470258
I will warn you now from being ther 'other woman'... you are setting yourself (and the prospecitve other woman) and your wife up for a LOT of heartache. I fell in love with a man that I can't have and it has destroyed my life (message me offline if you want to hear it). He calls his wife an ice cube and they have barely had any kind of intimate relationship in four years. I gave him love, affection and my soul only to have it destroyed. Could you honestly hurt anyone like this if it happened?? You have to think of all of the people that will become involved and it will more than likely turn into a big mess.\n\nThink seriously before you proceed.
298800
i was in the same situation!!go with your heart.who will make you happier??
809905
Sounds like you need space for yourself. Dump the husband since he isn't working with the reconciliation. Then give your self space. Don't let this other guy enter your life too quickly, sounds like he did just that when you were separated. When you are stable from the finalized divorce, then look at your prospects.
660109
wow...I'm in the EXACT same position. I could've asked this question because I'm going through the same thing. I've been absolutely infatuated with this guy and don't know what I will do once he leaves. It's so difficult but the best way to get through it is to find another guy. It sounds much easier than it really is because no one compares to "him."
579003
Your ex is your ex for a reason. Remember that. It sounds like you have a good relationship with this other guy, I think you need to let your ex go and forget about anything that might take you back to him. You are not being fair to either guy by running to the other when you have problems. Instead, get on yahoo answers to help solve your problems...lol! just kidding. But seriously, you need to move on with this new guy. You might feel things for your ex and that is natural because you have a past together...but it's just that, a past. Time to look to the future and move on. Good luck!
1030761
Let your boyfriend go regardless if you're in love with another man or not.  Nothing hurts worse than being in love with someone and them not loving you back (believe me, I know!).  It's sounds like your ex hasn't been trying to look YOU up, so why bother?  I'm still in love with my "first love" but all I do is hope he's happy and in a place where he wants to be.  I've been married to someone else for over 12 years now, have 3 kids and love my husband.  You may just want to let both go and be by yourself for awhile...think about what type of person you want to be and not who you want to be with.
513112
You deserve to be in love, real love. If something like an ex has been bothering you so much WHILE you are with the other guy, then you should leave him. Its been a year. If you were going to fall in love any deeper you would know. Dont settle.\nHowever, just know that as I write this I understand that the advice i gave is easier said than done. not having to deal with the pain of breaking up with people can make you want to just stay with them.\nBut ultimately you are the one that has to be happy, and satisfied. Dont choose to live your life wanting more and feeling unfulfilled in your heart.