what should i do i'm in a mentally abusive realationship and i want out but i'm to scared to leave?
544485
3 years or 30 years it don't matter. Get out while you are still strong enough to seek help on yahoo answers. I do recommend leaving for there are places you can go. There are people who can help you. He is only going to get worse and I know you know this. I should know, I went through this but much longer than you are and I just finally said "ENOUGH". I took a stand and am grateful I did that. You will feel better about yourself trust me when you leave. you will be fine and know God is with you always.
697312
A couple things I can say on this coming from "experience".  The only time anyone would be suspicious of you is if they themselves were doing something they shouldn't be.  Most importantly and very concerning is this... \nI'm not sure how long you have been together or what your relationship is like, but there are distinct signs of future abusive behaviors here.  Your best option is to discuss this with him and express your concerns.  If he's not willing to tell you or worse it explodes into an argument, cut your losses (no matter how hard it may be) and leave.  Reality should tell you if you can't talk, there's no future.  No one deserves to be treated like that and you should have more respect for yourself to know there is someone out there that will treat you the way you should be.\nGood luck to you...
155498
Your safety is the most important thing. Alot of times the violence becomes more severe as time goes by. It's better to be alone than to be abused.If you really love this person you both could seek good counseling. Until then stay away from this person.Go to family, friends,Minister, anyone that you trust.Love is sometimes blind. No person male or female should ever put their hands on anyone out of anger.You have to love yourself more. Again your safety is the most important thing. Good luck to you.
670046
Listen honey I have been in a bad relationship myself and know where you arecoming from you have to stand up for yourself and move on you say you can't leacve Why? they have got you to the point where you are wallowing in self pity just as they like you. What is happening here is domestic abuse and it has to end before you end first. For your childrens sake leave him if he don't like it tell him where to go ****himself or tell him if he loves you to stand up to his family for you though from the sound of it he is week as s**t no man should ever allow anyone including his family to run you down. I wish i could do more for you but sadly I can't if you need to chat though send me an email and I will keep chatting and offering no strings advice I am a voluntary member of the samaritans and will make timwe to chat if you need me.
599422
trust me ive been there get away from him. that kind of life is not the way to go. please listen to me i know from experiance
906570
Oh Kirk - you need to get out of there as soon as you can.  You deserve better.  There is help and support out there. No one has the right to treat you like that.  Are there any agencies you could contact ? And please contact your mom or another close relative or someone you feel you can trust.  I guess you much feel totally alone and scared and adults have not exactly been a source of trust for you.  Believe me you need to get out.  I wish I could help  I truly do.  I am in Scotland.  I am not surprised that you feel so bad about your life.  IT IS NOT your fault please believe that.  Contact someone and get yourself to safety.
312453
you just think you are in the way.you seriously nedd to get out of this relationship,do you wanna die?this is abuse and it is so wrong,im sorry you are going through this.plz leave before it gets worse,he thinks he can scare you into staying cuz he can beat you up.saying you are in the way is a copout.plz leave.it will only get worse.ok,once they start hitting,they dont stop,next your family will be planning your funeral.plz plz leave  best of luck
460981
Unless you can find a kind soul to take you in off the streets your chances of a happy existence are really not good. You need some stability in order to complete you education, which you won't be able to do if you are scrounging to find food and shelter all the time. Try to withstand the mental abuse for a little while longer until you are ready to strike out on your own. Seek family counseling, I bet lots of people can assist you in finding help. Running away should be your very last resort.
629359
im soo sorry to hear that. im kinda in the same boat here but im not married and hes never put his hands on me or he knows he will get it back twice as much. but he says really nasty things to me and i no i cant take it ne more and i have a 6 month old son with him as well and i wanna leave to i understand its hard cuz i cant get myself up and get my stuff packed either i no how u feel i dont wanna take my son away from his father but i no in my heart what needs to b done but its hard to do it but ill let u no one thing if he HITS U THAN hunnie u need to leave right away if ure afraid of him find a place and do things slowly soo he doesnt find out what is goin on than when hes at work u can finally leave but call the police to have extra help. if u need sumone to talk to u can message me ne time and i can help u
772227
The guy is a control freak. I have been in similar situations myself. good for you for trying to break free get councelling but please realise it may take years to undo all the psychological damage he has caused you.\n\nYou can only truly break free with professional councelling so please do that for me because i know what it's like.\n\nGood luck, you deserve happiness. :-)
183181
You have sexual anxiety that stems from this abuse earlier in life.  You  need to not be afraid to seek professional help in this matter.  Seeing a psychiatric professional does not make you crazy, or weird... and it shows that you are ready to get past the situation.  Until you can bring the topic to the surface and accept it then you will have intimacy issues for the rest of your life.  Please do not be afraid to seek help for yourself, because every minute that you avoid it is a minute of your life that you are allowing the sick and twisted individual that abused you to continue to control your life!  The longer this goes on, the more you are relinquishing your life to this horrible situation... swallow your pride and act on this before you waste anymore of your life living in fear
925206
I have been in an abusive ( all 3, primarily emotional and verbal) relationship for almost 13 years now, married for 8. I think what initially keeps you in an abusive relationship is that although you know that something doesn't feel quite right, you don't really look at it as abuse. Then when you know what it is, you are in denial and you make excuses for the person because you love them. You then think that your love can change them or that if you change that they will change. Sometimes you stay because you're scared to do everything on your own or because you have children. You want everyone to think that you have the perfect family and life. You then realize that the problem is within that person and there's not anything that you can do to change them. That's where I am now and I am currently being proactive with my exit plan. I hope this helps. lots of love, V.
488785
Divorce him. Go to a women's shelter for battered women and get a lawyer to get you a divorce. Dont stay with an abusive man he will never change and may one day kill you.
1047222
I would contact your local domestic abuse organization/women's shelter to help you make a plan to leave. The safety of yourself and your kids is absolutely important. They can help you gather materials you will need before you leave (like records, identification, etc.)\n\nThey will also have advice on getting legal help as well. They can connect you to where you can protect yourself and your kids. They can help you prepare a restraining order and help you with the legal hoops. \n\nMental abuse is a bad influence on your children, it teaches them that it is okay to treat people like that and they can repeat that pattern when they become adults.
789833
First of all, decide what you want and do it.  You're in a job you don't like.....keep it until you find one you do like.\n\n"The are sort of family"...no they're not.  They're users and abusers.\n\nUntil you take control of your own life you will feel helpless...and that is because you are.\n\nNow get up, dust off and decide what you want and then figure out how to get it.  No one can do this for you...but you.
1153493
Absolutely NO ONE deserves to be abused, no matter what the abuser says. Get out ASAP before things get much worse. Go to a shelter. Go to your parents, if you can. Go to a friends place, if you can. Go to your church, if you go to one. If there are kids involved, take them to the shelter with you because without you there, he could abuse them in your place and blame them for you leaving. There are always ways to get out, with or without money. There is NO excuse good enough to stay in a relationship where there is abuse. I know. I have been in that situation.
1173447
This is a classic abusive relationship.  You have got to get away from this person before things get worse.  I know you love her, but you cannot allow someone to treat you that way.  Look at it this way, if the situation was reversed, and you treated her that way, would you expect her to stay with you?