i have social anxiety. i am very shy. how can i be more friendly?
549127
If you have honestly tried your best to fight your shyness with little , or no, success, you might need to go to the doctor, and be put on some medication for it. I, too, am shy, but I fight it every day, and "make" myself talk to people, and interact. Good Luck!!
1109339
My friend, don't make friends on line. Make friends in person, the ordinary way. I know you're not so young as to be naive. So get meds from a good, recommended psychopharmacologist for your social anxiety and don't you DARE make friends online. There's not an adult in America that won't tell you the same. Don't be stupid! \n\nIf you must, make friends the regular way, in the Rat (that's what we did). Then, keep the relationship going by chatting with this new friend, from your own school (college), that you've met in person, and so forth. Usually, just admitting you have anxiety, which takes guts so good for you, makes it go away, or nearly so. So another strategy. Tell whomever you feel anxious with or when you feel that way, when you feel that way. They'll say, "You too? I get that."
706703
Social Anxiety..they make medications for it..see your doctor.
165129
I used to be very shy and introspective as well. I always wanted to wait for the right time to say things, but that time never came.\n\nI'm not sure how old you are, but that would make a difference. One possibility is that your current friends don't bring out an exciting personality in you. Perhaps you really are just shy, and even among those who you are close with, you are quiet and "boring". You may find that you are very outgoing on the internet, but not so much in person.\n\nThere really isn't a single way to become less boring. Becomming spontaneous is easy, but the results may not be what you wish. Being happy is likewise easy, but at the same time, nearly impossible to accomplish.\n\nBut no matter what you do, a personality shift is not something that can be accomplished overnight. Without doubt, you are an interesting person, you simply need to gain the ability to express it, something very difficult to learn. Simply resolve to yourself to say things more often. Perhaps you could make a minor change to yourself, such as hair style, as a way of reminding yourself that you are going through with the change.\n\nNext time you are in a social situation, make a concious effort to say something. Next time you are in a situation where you are surrounded by people you do not know, make an effort to meet even one of them and be friendly. This may seem difficult for you, but after the first time, the next social situation becomes less imposing, and slowly you will find yourself more at ease around others, and much more likely to be an exciting and outgoing person.\n\nThis is pretty much what I had to do. I still am not as socially outgoing as some people I know, but regardless, I have noticed the change myself, and am happy with it.
1154469
I used to be very shy. Extremely introverted to a point of being a pain....\n\nThen, my cousin invited me to Church.  It was through there that I learned to have "fun". To be more outgoing. \n\nI grew to have an "extended family", and they cared a lot about me, and helped me in ways that my "regular family" couldnt understand.\n\nThe more you get into fellowshipping, the more you will get involved with the Church and want to "do" more, and volunteer more and get to know all those around you!  Who knows, you may meet your future "mate" there :)\n\nBut, I would invite you to go to Church and be "uplifted" in your Spirit, and find CHRIST!!\nBecause after that, the World will no longer be a place that will hold you...\n\nI wish you well..\n\nJesse
836587
Look for a friendly face, make eye contact and smile, if they smile back you can just go over and say hi :) or maybe they will come over :) don't worry about it, it's ok to be shy, just find a way that works for you ^_^
1064485
How about anything that will put you in social situations. Im not saying that to be mean, Im just saying that shyness is not something you need to just live with. Break free of it. I was extremely shy just a few years ago. I overcame this by becoming an xray tech. I know its not a glamorous job, but I it has helped. When you are around people screaming in pain all day long, the last thing on your mind is saying the wrong thing. I can talk freely to anyone now. Think about it.
526470
Tired of being the shy person in the back of the crowd? Become the center of attention at an easy, personalized pace! \n\nSteps \nBe confident. Tell yourself that you have great qualities, and don't let anybody bring you down! \n\nSet goals for yourself. Focus on small, daily goals, and gradually become more daring. E.g. try to speak at least once every class period. \n\nIntroduce yourself to new people each day. Most people are nice and will be welcoming to your advances. It is also great practice for more daring behavior, such as talking to cute people. \n\nHold close bonds with your friends, they can be there for you when you crack out of the shell! They'll be glad to help. \n\nTry doing stuff you never dreamed you would. For example: Talk to that cute boy in study hall that you thought would never notice you. Wear something very flattering and colorful to show what a fun person you really are! \n\nLaugh often, at your own jokes and those of others. It will help ease any tension you may be feeling. \n\nLie on your bed and take 3 deep breaths. Then visualize a situation where you might be shy. Now in that situation make yourself confident. Do this for as many situations as you can think of. Do this daily. Do this in the morning. \n\nRepeat positive affirmations using I statements. " I am a wonderful person". "I am a good looking person". Do it even if you don't believe it. Do it daily. \n\nMake a list of things that make you feel shy that you want to try and work on. Order them so that those things that cause you the least anxiety are first and those that cause you the most anxiety are last. Once you have a list of 10-15 stressful situations start working through them, one-by-one. The first few "easier" situations will help build your confidence so that you can continue moving to more difficult situations on your list. Don't worry if you have to go backwards on the list sometimes -- take it at your own pace but do make an effort to push yourself. \n\nTips \nThere's nothing wrong with being shy, but there's nothing wrong with being outgoing either! \n\nDon't go overboard, and just be yourself! Life isn't a competition! \n\nShyness is sometimes seen as classy. \n\nDon't be afraid to seek professional help -- group counseling, individual counseling, and therapy can help you along the way. \n\nIf you are intelligent enough to know when to keep your mouth closed, then there is no advantage to being shy. Rid yourself of shyness, you'll thank yourself later. \n\nOften, being shy is a result of feeling inferior to or otherwise "less than" other people. Think about it, this is almost never the case. A positive self-image is the key. \n\nWarnings \nIf you were known for being shy amongst family members, watch out for the harmless teasing. They mean well. But don't let them scare you back into your shell! \n\nSame goes for people at school, if you are still at school. Some may be uncomfortable with you existing outside the categeory they've put you in, in their own minds. Ignore them.
1057495
NO! I'm WAY too shy!!!!
1057028
hey i wa shy to but just ty to let your self go think as if no one is there i some times act dumb but if you cant just try little chat like ask questions go ith poeple you know and make new friends
407332
Just be yourself, a guy that's really worth it in the long run will take the time to get to know and love the real you.  I understand that it can be a hard thing to meet people when you have an anxiety disorder. A few suggestions, Please realize that you must be out there and available in order to meet someone, go to church events,sports or social gatherings or whatever you are interested in. Second, if the anxiety is severe and limiting your social interaction consider seeing a doctor that can prescribe medication or support to help you relax and over come your fear.  In any case I wish you the best of luck. Don't despair and remember there is a special someone out ther just for you, give it time you'll find them one day.
667654
Being new is always tough. I'm a very shy person, so when I started at a new school I was scared to death. Try joining an activity that interests you - whether its the soccer team or the french club or the art club or the drama club or track. Just find something that you think you might enjoy - don't worry if you've never done it before. I tried out for volleyball, and even though I had never played before I had a lot of fun and made great friends. Just remember that you are not the only nervous one- I'm still shy when talking to new people - the other person is probably nervous too. Good luck!
982770
I feel your pain--I was so shy when I was your age I would panic if someone talked to me, or a friend called me on the phone.  It was terrible.\n\nI am not sure by your question if you are wanting to overcome your shyness, but what I did was started reading books (back then we didnt have the internet) on public speaking, making friends, what to say in social settings, how to make small talk, etc.  I also read up on self esteem building, and many years later I feel comfortable in public settings, and also have done several public speaking engagements in my field.\n\nI am not saying you should NOT be shy or change how you are.  If you are comfortable with who you are, and your friends are not, then find friends who respect you for who you are.  I chose to overcome my shyness because it really was limiting my life.\n\nGood luck!  You have a great life ahead of you!
298109
Talk about anything and everything to Everyone you come across, small talk or whatever, they are just like you(human). Most people are sociable and will talk back and make conversation, if they don't, then its their problem. Practice. Keep Trying. good luck.\n\nI Agree With Superscribe below me. " The book How to win friends and influence people, by Dale Carnegie, would be a good start." It's a Really Great Book.
440146
i used to be so shy, until i found my now best friend. she was so confident and encouraged me to do the same. maybe try and find friends on your own, so you aren't relying on your now friends to have a good time. Make conversation with a person in a bar or pub, thats usually a good way to get more confident, and if it doesnt work out then you can just leave it at that!\n\ndo things in public that you wouldn't normally do, like singing and dancing when messing about with friends.  Most of the problem is that you are thinking of what others think of you.  Dont worry what they think, theyr the ones having a boring time not you! and anyways, you wont see these people again, so let them think what they think!
277955
omg I'm quiet and shy too! People think I'm a snob and that I think I'm too good for them. One of the reasons they do that is because I dont smile. I know its hard, people tell shy people to just go up and talk to someone but its not that easy. I would try talking more to your friends (that would help you not to be as quiet and show people that you can talk to other people as well) thats what I am working on now. Good Luck!
162344
Everyone feels shy sometimes, but being too shy can hamper many aspects of your life.\n \n \nSteps:\n1.  Determine why you're shy in the first place. For example, are you scared of what someone might say about your physical appearance? Remember, there's an underlying reason for how you react in situations.\n \n2.  Act as if you're not shy. In private, behave as if you're oozing confidence. Hold your chin up, stick your chest out, add a swagger to your walk and speak firmly. It may seem ridiculous, but you will see results when you're out in public.\n \n3.  Practice making eye contact and smiling in your interactions with others. Strike up casual conversations with strangers about weather or current events.\n \n4.  Look your best. One way to improve self-consciousness is to always look good and limit ways you can be self-critical.\n \n5.  Lower your fear of rejection by imagining the worst possible outcome. If you approach someone, they may say "no" or they may just walk away. Absolutely everybody has been rejected at some point, but no one has to dwell on it.\n \n6.  Look and learn. Watching friends or even strangers who aren't shy is a good way to learn some tips first-hand.\n \n7.  Feel positive about yourself, don't get frustrated and have fun. Remember, the real goal is to find someone who will like you for who you are.