How can I make my farts louder?
534841
Stick a trumpet up your A55!\n\nLOL!
522844
Well, you can step outside for some "fresh air", excuse yourself to the bathroom...or (this option not for the faint of hart) lie on your back, throw your legs up in the air, grab a lighter, light it and stick it next to your butt, fart and shoot a flame out your butt. Keep in mind you need the right crowd for this...I suggest a crowd of drunks. Keep in mind I've only observed this...not actually participated.
103283
If you want more smelling farts, you have to include in your diet food containing amounts of Hydrogen Sulfide and Sulfur.  The more rich in Sulfur your diet is, more of those gases are going to be produced by the bacteria in the intestine, and  more smelly they will be your farts.\n\nFoods like onion, and eggs, are remarkable to produce stinking farts. On the other hand, for example, beans, produces great amounts of farts, although not necessarily smelly. Sorry aboyt my english... Enjoy your farts!
44668
get yourself some kittly litter put a cup of it in a sock.  Tie the sock in a knot and put them down into each one your boots.  Let sit in there untill you can no longer smell the "odor".
1179244
Get some stuff called, "fart spray."   when she is not around, open up her desk or jacket if possible, spray a bit, close it up and when she opens it, enjoy the face she will make!
1074875
I would suggest, and it is only a suggestion, that you stop breathing in your farts in the shower.  You sound like you've got a lot more problems than just bad breath.
535306
Yeah.  Farting count ?
731755
The quiet effect last until you fart again.
1058124
Sad but true: I fart.
1125551
FIRST, do not call it a fart.  Call it a poot.  That sounds cute and feminine.  BE gentle about it, then go ahead.  If you can make it silent but deadly, that is the best.... make sure you leave the room right after and say it snuck out...  just kidding.\n\nMY wife does not like to poot in front of me, but sometimes it sneaks out and she turns all pink, so it turns into an opportunity for me.  Your husband needs to be given an opportunity like that... lol.
762217
-Take your craps naked, the smell won't get onto your clothes.\n-Review your eating habits...lessen the cheese, red meat, chips, beans \n- See a doctor and ask about gastronial intestinal problems\n- drink more water as it helps to flush the system\n- Avoid high caffene stuff like pop and coffee\n- Wear loser clothing around your stomach\n\n  Hope this helps....  :)\n\n PS... It is a normal average for everyone to fart approx 10-15 times a day.  HONEST...ask the doctor.
221992
I'm in a elevator and someone farts,there is no escape!HELP!
197184
I do just for the simple reson that I can't stand silence. another alternative is using a fan. it will make just enough noise to break the silence. Good luck
282686
Open up the door a little bit and wave. Then shout out loud that you need the toilet paper. Sometimes people wouldn't bother whatever other people are mumbling in the toilet themselves. Well, maybe if you would shout out louder.\n\nAnyway, if you really did scream, I can only say that some people in Singapore are really big headed ignorant bunch.\n\nBottomline, just wave and shout louder or.. well, zip up and move to another cubicle to clean up.\n\nCheerios.
956467
oooo this is really fun\nget a match or lighter, and some hairspray (or other flammable spray)  light the match/lighter and spay the hairspray/other liquid toward the flame.  the flame will flare off.\nanother great way is to light a candle (the tall kind).  then turn around and put your rear end behind the candle and fart.  the gas in farts are flammable.  another way is to hold the lighter/match to your butt and fart.\nhope i helped you\nbye
308027
my bottom burps are smelly !!!
590213
insultate it with soundproof foam