What would you think!   No my daughters do not live with my ex and I have no contact with him!?
541280
I really think you guys need to sit down and talk.  Tell him EXACTLY how you feel.  trust me, not talking is worse. My husband and I never talked about our feelings, and if your on here a lot you know my situation. If not, after 20yrs. of marriage, I'm looking at DIVORCE.
1156222
no! go have fun! you date again when YOU are ready, not when your ex is ready or when your daughter is ready for you to date...ITS YOUR LIFE! Grab life by the horns! (thanks dodge for the catchy line)
343393
Unfortunately I am going through a very similiar situation with my ex-wife.  We seperated a few years ago and she started by pulling a few shaningans like that off.  All I can suggest purely as one dad to another is to maintain the best contact that you can and when you do contact your children let them know you love them and always want to see them. \n\nMake it clear that if they were expecting you, that their mother must have made a mistake because you had not planned on being there that day, not because you do not love them but because you have work or necessary things to do.\n\nLegally stopping someone from slandering you with your children I dont believe is possible.  It is truly more of a question of guilt tripping your ex and explaining to her though her intentions are against you, they are more then likely more likely to harm the children.  Children with seperated parents that do not get along are more then likely to be involved in crime, or have poor grades in school as well as a plethora of other things.\n\nMost of all, I feel for you completely.  Maybe if it is possible file for custody?  If you can somehow accuse your ex while on the phone and record some admittance of slander the courts will surely find in your favor?\n\nFinal thought.  Do what is best for your kids forget about getting back at your ex or doing what she wants you to do (which is probably run away and never see the kids again).  Your kids need you in many ways, and writing to them constantly and contacting them VIA phone and visiting as often as possible are the best things.  Be so much a part of their lives she cannot lie to them.
799258
I don't know what I can say that will help you but I can reassure you that you are not the only one. My ex disappeared for the first 6 yrs of my son's life and then reappeared acting like he was the best dad in the world. He constantly contradicts what I say (ex.: my son has dental sealants and can not have sticky candy because it will rip them off but he insists my dentist is a head job who doesn't know what she is talking about, he also tells him he doesn't have to listen to the stupid things I say, that my son doesn't have to be responsible for anything -he's 10, and so on). He also created a tape using one of his friend's to play for my son. The contents consisted of this impersonator telling my ex that I did not love my son, I did not want my son, my ex could keep my son, etc. My ex also has no problem with my son seeing pornographic materials lying about his household. My son told of this and more to a Children and Youth Services agent who told me even though what my ex was doing was inappropriate it was abuse. Now for the grand finale, I stopped my ex from seeing my son for 3 months because he informed me he moved back in with his child molesting mother whom my son was to have no contact with and while the investigation was taking place and I was trying to modify the custody arrangement. During this time he filed contempt charges against me, initially sending to the wrong address (one that didn't even exist) so I missed the first hearing. I later received a visit from a constable telling me if I didn't go to the next one I would be sentenced to jail. I had proof that he sent it to the wrong address before we had the hearing. At the hearing my ex couldn't decide where he was living or for what amount of time, stated I had denied him my son longer that occured, and brought forth info that his mother was recently forgiven for molesting her sons (my ex and his brother). The judge decided that he knew my ex had lied about the extended time but I was also in the wrong because I should have known (even though I lacked the resources to find out and frankly my ex should have informed me since he knew, I forgot we are still supposed to wipe their asses even after we are no longer together) that his mother was forgiven for her most heinous act and that he was no longer living with her. Never mind the fact that we had contact since I stopped letting him take him  and my ex could have mentioned it, never mind the fact that my ex couldn't even figure out where he was living, and never mind the fact that not once did I tell my ex he could not see him, that he could not take him, I WAS STILL IN THE WRONG. I was in the wrong for trying to protect my son. My fiance summed it up nicely, the courts are currently favoring the men. The court does not take the child's welfare into consideration just what they want as they are deciding.
1016213
I think your GF has some insecurity issues.  Im sure it has nothing to do with her personal items.  She knew you had kids, and that the father would be involved with them.  He is paying the rent, and cable bill... I see no reason why he couldnt watch the World Cup.  If he started making a crazy habit of it where it imposes on you, then I suggest you move to your own place and pay your own bills.\n\nOther than that I think your GF just needs to have a little understanding of the situation and not be so jealous, insecure, or "worried".\n\nI of course am only basing these thoughts on not knowing either of you or the situation.  If I were you, I would try to explain the whole situation to your GF again...\n\nEDIT:  Also anyone who says you should have nothing to do with your ex husband is incorrect in my eyes.  Your responsibility's are to your kids, and making them happy, which will involve being respectful to their father, and being a part of his and their lives.  You had the choice to have kids... the kids did not get a choice in their parents, and therefore they are the Innocent ones in this situation and need to be looked out for first and for most!  Even if that means putting off relationships with other people for the time being.  Just my opinion :)  Sorry if it sounded preachy... it was more directed at the comment above mine :)
823996
As long as there are people brain washing her and telling her bad things about you she probably wont come around. You know your a good mother it sounds like your ex needs to find a hobby and quit trying to ruin the relationship between you and your daughter. I havent ever been through this but if my husband were to ever turn our daughter against me it would just break in two. My daughter is my every dream come true and I cant even imagine how things are for you right now. I hope that she doesnt listen to all this garbage thats been said about you and hopefully she will start contacting you again good luck.
47632
i agree with the others, if you just move in and later break up, you can all be hurt, especially his daughter. i don't know the circumstances, but does he have full custody, is the child's mother going to have or be a problem? also are  YOU ready to take over the responsiblities of a child that's NOT yours? those are a few things to think about. and if you are thinking of moving in, i'd say it's pretty serious! how long have you been dating? please think of how this will affect his daughter before you do anything.
1104439
You can see his point but also your dealing with a little girl who has no knowledge of grown up things, so sit down with him and explain that someday she will give him the right to be called Daddy but he has to be cool about it. Otherwise this little girl will resent him thinking because of him she doesn't see her Father, notice a different in Daddy and father. It takes a special kind of man to be called Daddy. He needs to be there for her and allow her to grow with him and not use this as a pawn to see how you feel about the ex.
679780
Your situation sounds tenous at best and certainly I would agree that your ex-wife is exerting pressure and influence over your daughter regarding efforts to strain your relationship with her. The fact that your daughter now knows about your efforts to make contact and that now you have recently had direct contact with each other over the phone, has certainly not hurt your position with her.\n\nMy suggestion is to continue to practice the patience you have shown up to now and try to maintain at least this minimal contact with one another. Your daughter may be in a position where the mothers influence invloves aspects of her life on which she is still dependent and therefore may be putting her in a position of 'loyalty' to her mother, even though it would seem she would like it to be otherwise.\n\nYour daughter is a young woman now, turning 18 and about to graduate high school. I would recommend giving this some time while making sure she knows that you would like very much to have more contact. Also, make her aware that you know this puts her in an awkward position. Tell her that you understand how difficult this is for her but that you are there for her when she feels ready to have more contact. \n\nYou don't say if your daughter plans to go to college and if so would she still be living at home. If she chooses to go to college where she needs to live on campus or nearer to the facility then this would also open the door for more contact without her mothers interference.\n\nBest Wishes !!
603258
I wouldn't leave the state because, eventually, she will wise up and realize she needs and loves you.  That you are the only mother she has.  \n\nI would, however, not contact her (for 2 months).  I would want to know how long it would be before she missed me...but that is because I would be curious.  After 2 months, I would make contact again because I would never give up.  I am not recommending you do that...you need to decide for yourself what course of action you want to pursue.\n\nI'm sorry that your daughter is treating you like this.  You are obviously trying but she is just being obnoxious and rude.  Sounds like she is siding with her father over the separation and there is no way to know what he is telling her.  Just take it a day at a time and someday, she will wise up.
547198
I say if he is hangin out with her like best of buddies, then something is going on.I talk to my ex but I don't hang out with him.TEll him how you feel, if he defends her then you don't need him because she will always be in the way.The only reason they should be atleast talking is if there is kids involved, otherwise there should not be any reason for them to be hanging around eachother.Good luck !!
1058119
Go to the BBQ and let your daughter meet her uncle and half siblings. You and your daughter are the invited guests and it doesn't matter why your ex won't be there although I wouldn't be a bit surprised if your ex's brother deliberately did not invite him to keep the peace with you. Give it a chance and you and the ex's family can agree to not disgree. No matter what has happened between you and the ex, your daughter is still a part of that family's flesh and blood.
783330
I personally think you have made a smart move and are taking responsibility for what is yours. I would NOT stay with or talk with the ex girlfriend. (why mess up what you are trying to recreate). I can understand why you were made at your wife, but she is your wife and more importantly the daughter is yours.
257703
Yes, your daughters deserve a solid family. But you can be a solid family and be divorced. Joint custody, frequent visitation, ect. are all possibilities. But, take it from a girl who's parents "stayed together for the kids", it's not worth it. It's better to be friends and be civil to your ex-wife than to be her husband and hate her every day. I'd say leave. But stay nearby. It sounds to me like your kids are your primary reason for staying. So take them out of the equation. Say that the circumstances are the same... money issues, lack of love, whatever. Would you stay? Probably not. Your girls will get over it. And sometimes, life can be more stable if both parents AREN'T in the same home. \n\nAs for this old flame? Stay away dude. This has rebound written all over it.
223111
I am a mother and wife, and an ex-wife. I "left" my children's' biological father because he was abusive and a closet drug abuser. The "value" of my family was and still is everything to me. Just because I put my children's' lives and best interests in front of my own personal feelings doesn't mean that family has no value to me.....it means that I did what I had to do to make a better life for my family. And my ex. had every opportunity to see his children but thought and still thinks that there are things in life more important....how sad for him. Maybe you should look into your legal options in your state as far as visitation with your child goes....and I wish you well with that because every child deserves to have two parents that love and care for them. As far as the "women" that left you because of petty little things....well maybe you should re-evaluate your decisions on whom you date.
718198
What do you mean she never goes home? Are you saying that she is always at your ex's house? If so, then you are crazy because whether something is going on or not between the two of them, she should have respect for his relationship with you and he should have the balls to tell her that he is in a new relationship and that she can't come over there...and if he has told her that, then he shouldn't allow her over there.
92378
Slimeball isn't good enough! It is apparent that he isn't interested in seeing the daughter but uses her as a tool to get to you. It would be difficult i would think to have his rights revoked but may be worth a try seeing that he is dating children. I would at least try.