Which comedian said this quote...???
543223
good quote\ncheck this link\nhttp://www.google.com/search?hl=en&lr=&q=+Don%27t+walk+around+with+a+loose+vagina%22.++quotes
994122
First of all, the quote actually goes "The coldest WINTER I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco" (hence the supposed humor).  However, he did quote someone along those same lines, though he referred to Paris (see the link below).  No one is sure who actually said that or perhaps started misquoting Twain.
741827
graham norton;\nnow he`s a f*cking joke if \never there was one !
383693
"Be careful what you pretend to be, because you are what you pretend to be." - Kurt Vonnegut\n\n"Here we are, trapped in the amber of the moment. There is no why." - Kurt Vonnegut\n\n"If you can do a half-assed job of anything, you're a one-eyed man in a kingdom of the blind."  Kurt Vonnegut\n\n"For an educated man, Mark, you repeat yourself quite a bit. Are you aware of that?" - Prot, K-PAX
256310
Homer...the poet, philosopher, auther...not the simpson. and the whole quote is \n\nControl your mind or it will control you. Put it in reins, cast it in chains
157713
who said he did??????
431669
The correct quote is actually:\n\n "Laughter is good for the soil"\n\n                 - Gregor Mendel
310482
Looks like the quote is Harvey Mackay, a motivational speaker.  Couldn't tell you what book it might be from, but I do have a website...\n\nwww.mackay.com
934751
"You never turned around to see the frowns on the jugglers and the clowns when they all did tricks for you!\nYou never understood that it ain't no good- you shouldn't let other people get your kicks for you."\n\n~Bob Dylan ("Like a Rolling Stone")\n\n\nI♥♫→mia☼☺†
280918
I absolutely love that quote! I knew exactly where it was from. \n\nSeems like it. I take the Bible and all of that with a large helping of salt, and create my own set of beliefs. And, lol, the bit about the 10 commandments, I couldn't believe it when I saw GC voice my thoughts so eloquently on tv!
95343
"When Rick told me he was having trouble with his wife, I had to laugh. Not because of what he said, but because of a joke I thought of. I told him the joke, but he didn't laugh very much. Some friend HE is."\n\n"Whenever I need to 'get away,' I just get away in my mind. I go to my imaginary spot, where the beach is perfect and the water is perfect and the weather is perfect. The only bad thing there are the flies. They're terrible!"\n\n"One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. 'Oh, no,' I said, 'Disneyland burned down.' He cried and cried, but I think that deep down, he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late."\n\nAll quotes by Jack Handey
219084
It's from a Three Stooges movie, "Gents Without Cents" made in 1944. Curly says \n"Niagra Falls" and Moe (who was under some sort of post-hypnotic suggestion? I don't \nremember) turns on him and launches into the speech. (I dunno. Seemed funny when I was \na kid.) See www.imdb.com for good sources of movie quotes, trivia, etc.\n\n: : This was also from an Abbott and Costello movie entitled "Lost in A Harem".\n: : Many of Bud and Lou's best-known routines were vaudeville and/or burlesque \nstandards. The "Niagara Falls" bit ("Slowly I turned, step by step, inch by inch...I \ntook my revenge.") was performed by many teams before becoming identified with Abbott \n& Costello.
566768
Peter Gibbons: What would you do if you had a million dollars? \nLawrence: I'll tell you what I'd do, man, two chicks at the same time, man. \nPeter Gibbons: That's it? If you had a million dollars, you'd do two chicks at the same time? \nLawrence: Damn straight. I always wanted to do that, man. And I think if I had a million dollars I could hook that up, cause chicks dig a dude with money. \nPeter Gibbons: Well, not all chicks. \nLawrence: Well the kind of chicks that'd double up on a dude like me do. \nPeter Gibbons: Good point. \nLawrence: Well what about you now? what would you do? \nPeter Gibbons: Besides two chicks at the same time? \nLawrence: Well yeah. \nPeter Gibbons: Nothing. \nLawrence: Nothing, huh? \nPeter Gibbons: I'd relax, I would sit on my ass all day, I would do nothing. \nLawrence: Well you don't need a million dollars to do nothing, man. Just take a look at my cousin, he's broke, don't do shit.
380033
Hunter S. Thompson. The entire quote is: 'Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming "Wow! What a Ride!"' \n\nHope I helped!!
15949
Comic Book guy. Evidence:\n\n"Oh, a *sarcasm* detector. Oh, that's a *really* useful invention!" And it explodes from overload.\n\n"Stop right there! I have the only working fazer ever built. It was fired only once to keep William Shatner from making another album."\n\n"Last night's "Itchy & Scratchy" was, without a doubt, the worst episode ever. Rest assured that I was on the Internet within minutes, registering my disgust throughout the world."\n\nComic Book Guy: Yes, I would like to return your quote-unquote *ultimate* belt.\nClerk: I see. Do you a receipt, quote-unquote sir?\nComic Book Guy: No, I do not have a receipt. I won it as a door prize at a Star Trek convention, although I find their choice of prize highly illogical, as the average Trekker has no need of a medium-size belt.\n\n"Ack. There is no "emoticon" to express what I am feeling right now."\n\nThis one sums up his character nicely: "Human contact: the final frontier."
327653
I don't know who said it, or the actual quote but it went along the lines of, "If you have 1 true friend, then you have succeeded in life".  I have plenty of true friends and I already feel like my life has mattered (whether for the better or worst I cannot say).  I remember a discussion we had in a class once in which a teacher said, no matter what we do, we will not matter in the large scale of things.  I disagreed of course and stated of course we change history.  For example, what if the man who invented the atom bomb were never born?  What if the people who researched penicillian had different paths and what if certain events, such as a teacher telling a student to get back in line and the student following through never occured?  Had that teacher not been there, the students' world could be very different.\n\nSo, I think everyone's life does matter in some way shape or form, unless you have no interaction with anyone at anytime your life does matter.  And even if you don't, in some way you are still a part of the earth, even when you die and become the ground again.
816867
The Man from Del Monte says\n"a hole in the head"     boom boom.\nWho says comedy has never been the same since the Chuckle Brothers were tragically .... not beaten to death with a petrified goose ?\nGet well soon.\nIf you think I'm weird (and you should) follow the link below ...