How do handle dual mentality person. Behaving very harshly in private and politely in public.?
550681
This is an example of an emotionally abusive relationship.  I believe that there are some conditions that make a relationship absolutely flawed and abuse is an example of this.\nWill the person seek counseling in order to change this behavior?  If the person doesn't see the need to do so, I'd suggest getting out of the relationship altogether.  Living in a situation like this will warp you.\nGood luck to you.  I will pray for you.
956186
I don't think you should be ashamed of a part of your personnality, better understand where it could come from, why are you acting like that, in which purpose. Try to understand your scheme of thinking. All is a matter of harmony and to reequilibrate yourself you have to fight bad schemes of behaving by the opposite ones, but at first try to understand why you are behaving like that, when you'll find that finally this behaviour has no real justified roots you'll go easier.\nWas just a personal thinking, i'm not a pro, ask a psychiatrist maybe, no shame to ask pro.
927528
be assertive not aggresive\nthat is my way of handling this situation
1161190
It is called "denying yourself."  Push yourself to do things that would normally be uncomfortable.  You will be amazed at how far you can push your body and mind.  Remember take baby steps as you go.  Don't try to go from one extreme to another.  For example, if you whine about a scratch...see if you can go without saying anything to anyone.
914618
Don't conform! f-u-c-k 'em just be yourself.  Do what the hell you want just don't hurt anybody
153737
You can not control how others will react or feel by what you say. If someone is crossing your boundry line,it is up to you to say so, they can't read your mind. Choose your words carefully, say it kindly and all is done. If someone thinks that you are rude and you have been as kind as possible then that is their problem not yours.\n I need to do this quite often. So many people are touchers to even complete strangers and I suffer from chronic pain where sometimes even the lightest breeze can cause pain I would wish on no one. I just have to tell people straight out, or my husband does, to be gentle with me. I won't break, but I will suffer pain. And you know what there are people who are then offended and think I am rude for not wanting to be punched on arm or bear hugged, some people just have no thought for anyone but themselves
357633
You need to look at why you allow yourself to be treated that way.  Before you can have a healthy relationship with anyone you need to love yourself first.  I find it hard to believe that you truly love yourself if you would permit two different people to treat you with such disrespect.  Personally I think you should drop them both and concentrate on yourself for a while.
894920
I have the same problem.  People always say "think b4 u talk", but that's fricking hard!  There are only a few seconds to which there is time alloted for you to think of an answer.  Then the person leaves you in the dust.  It's like a reflex...you defend yourself before anyone else has a chance to inflict another blow.  Next time, just relax yourself b4 a conversation and remind yourself not to lash out, no matter what.  Of course, you will forget to remind yourself after a while, but the next lash-out will bring you crashing back down to earth.  But for now...just apologize to the girl and explain that you didnt know what you were saying.  She should understand.  It is hard to deal with this stuff, but you will get over it.  Dont dwell on anything.
1148174
Be professional and mature and remember to think as the higher person because the person who is making fun of you is obviously extremely low and you don't need to stoop to their level.  Just tell them you do not appriciate what they are doing and walk away from it.  It really makes you look like much of a stronger person.
362483
I can totally relate to what you are saying. I live with the same type of thing every day, unfortunately the person in question is my boss. Sometimes I think if I let loose one day the consequenses might just be worth it. Horrible, I know, but this kind of person can cause the most severe and aggressive frustration! My advice is to avoid him as much as possible, which is what I do with her, but should you happen to proceed with a physical confrontation I admit I would find it comforting to know that at least someone had some consequence for their constant crap behavior and maybe will think twice about it in the future.
1017900
ACT FRIENDLY.  Don't remind them of their visciousness.\n\nBut don't trust them about anything.
797649
I've read lots of responses of that kind.  They're a dime a dozen.  You mustn't let vicious people upset you or cause you to have hard feelings toward others.  Be a lighthouse and show others how reasonable and imperturbable you can be.
47790
Tough one.  These scenarios usually become an issue over time, so a quick fix is usually not the best.  Aggressive individuals usually prey on others that allow "bullying" tactics.  As the aggressor sees the weakness, they get comfortable treating the person like that over time and expect a certain response.\n\nIf you want to curtail the behaviour, start standing up in a non-offensive manner and tell him why you can't stay late or work weekends or whatever.  Make excuses, even lie if you have to. Just make it difficult for him to expect the unreasonable.
332001
People are too scared to tell you how they feel to your face.  I get talked about behind my back but I also have a problem with saying things about others.  I always thought it was human nature, though not okay to do so.  I don't like doing it, and I am trying to stop, but I just find that I am a cynic and I just have trouble telling people what I really think of them to avoid confrontation.  So, I say it to someone else.  I definitely don't think it's okay, I never have, but old habits are hard to break.  I know that it is wrong...judge not lest thee be judged, but it is hard to change, right?
46192
You can't change another person's behavior but you can change the way they effect you. End the relationship if possible, if you can't because it is co-worker or relative then avoid them and ignore them as best you can.
877687
well, those things i dont think you can really control without offending someone. i think the most you can do is try to encourage everyone to dress nicely. and remind them that how they look reflects how much they care about their job and the business they work for.
982118
If you know you're being to blunt with people then try not to do it anymore. That is probably the reason behind your social delimma.