do I tell my family that I'm gay, I'm single and living on my own, dating guys??
554139
You should tell them before someone else does.
955467
Hmmm...tough one!\n\nWhile it's unfortunate that we live in a society that values our appearance over what we have to offer, I have to agree that your timing isn't very good...\n\nI would think this would turn Christmas from a family gathering to 'Guess what "so and so" did?!!!'\n\nI'd strongly suggest perhaps meeting your family over lunch, AFTER the holidays - and telling them then that this is who you are, you plan to come out, and you hope they'll support you.\n(then maybe you could belatedly give them the card, and let them know that you had planned on sending them out, but didn't want to shock or upset anyone's holidays)\n\nEither way, I hope it goes well for you...\nGood luck!\n\nJj
46388
no, i don't think so. why u have to? u hve ur own family, friends... so, just be u, u ur the one and don't deny urself. Love urself.
244381
i have racist parents, and i waited to date outside my "race" until i got out of the house. if i had "fallen for" someone they wouldn't have approved of before that, i think i just would have dated the person without them knowing. (and i would tell the guy that your parents have issues, so he knows why you're not taking him home to dinner first thing.)\n\nafter you've dated for a little while, and if you really think it's "serious," then you can introduce him to your parents, after you make it clear that you waited to tell them because of their racist attitudes, and are only telling them because it's more than just a crush. prepare for a big argument. tell them first, BTW, so they don't make asses of themselves. surprise is not a good idea here. \n\n(and sorry you have to deal with such silliness. at least i hope it's just silliness.)
492955
Yeah I know that one. I told my mum and she totally flipped. I was trying to tell her so she wouldn't be surprised if I told her I was seeing a guy. She didn't understand, a lot of people don't understand being bi as opposed to gay or straight. They can't understand it, feel it's some sort of sexual perversion, "wanting it all". You will prob even find that being bi it will be really hard to find a relationship because there is always the fear from your partner that they can't give you something that the opposite sex to them can.\n\nAll you can do is let them know. Maybe talk about a previous relationship and tell them after that you tried... and found that it was good too and that you want to let them know so they don't have to deal with a big shock should you end up in a relationship with someone they don't expect. Either way it can sometimes be harder than being gay.\n\nGOOD LUCK!
790617
Introduce him as your slave.  That should pull the wool over their eyes.\n\nSeriously, why hide who you are?  Are you ashamed of being gay?  [If you still live at home, you get a "bye" about telling your parents until you can support yourself.]\n\nGood luck!
339140
My parents never told me that instead my FOUR older brothers told me that for them. How great is that??? But I guess that if I actually listened to what anyone told me it would I would still be single!
926233
When I was young I remember people referring to an unmarried man as a "confirmed bachelor" or "bachelor uncle"  When I got older I figured out that these men were in fact gay.  I am a forty year old gay male and the majority of my family know I am gay.  \n\nEvery once in awhile I will meet an older family member that will ask when I will get married, have a family etc..   Usually another older person will then explain to the other that I am a "confirmed bachelor" and that is the end of that.\n\nMy point is that homosexuality was not a open subject years ago as it is today.  Families tried to disguise the fact that a member was gay by using such terms.  With groups such as PFLAG to help families who have gay family members it is easy for a family to stick togethey instead of torn apart.
446031
It would depend on your relationship with your parents.\n\nDon't tell them if you don't want to, if your reasoning for telling them is because they expect it regardless of your wishes. If you feel compelled because you have an open relationship and share things like that then maybe you should tell them.
1065693
I am out to my friends and family.  I did not come out until I was 23...a few years ago and it lifted such tremendous weight off my shoulders.  I cried to my Mom and told her that my "friend" was more than that and I was tired of hiding my feelings.  I actually feel free now.  No more trying to have a girlfriend to look "normal" in front of my parents.  No more calling my boyfriend a "friend".  No more hiding from people when I want to hug the person I love.  No more lies. Period.\n\nOne thing I did learn is that you cannot rush it to come out.  Your time will come. Just be yourself.  You may have to cover up things you really do not want to, but be cautious of who you confide in and expect some people to shun you and not want anything to do with you.  But don't sweat it. Your real friends will be accepting and it won't eve be an issue.  Being gay shouldn't be the topic of every discussion...it's just an extension of you are.  You happen to like someone of the same sex. People just need to accept that.\n\nYour life will change, but for the better.  You do not want to go through life hiding and faking.  That is more difficult than just coming out an dealing with people who dislike you for being gay.  It makes it easier for you to know who can be your friend when they know the real you.  And, coming out is a journey.  You do not just come out and blabber it away to everyone.  If someone asks...tell them the truth. But, if they don't..it's none of their business.  The time will come when you need to tell them if necessary.\n\nIt's up to "us" to educate people and let them know that we are just as normal as they are.  Who we sleep with has nothing to do with our pesonality and our capablilities of being successful in life.  \n\nSo, again, don't spend to much time thinking of when you should come out.  Your time will come.  If it's now...then do it.  But be ready for good and bad.\n\nUltimately, you will find happiness in yourself and the people that love you will see that.
1034195
Honestly, I don't think there's a "right" time to tell everyone.  Some people you may feel comfortable telling much sooner than others.  Some people you may not feel it's a good idea to tell at all.\n\nI would say the point that's the "right" time is one of two times:\n\n1)  When you know that the person you're telling will accept and care for you because of who you are and that means they'll accept you for being gay, too... and you want to be open with them about who you are inside; or\n\n2)  When it hurts you so much to hide yourself that being rejected for who you are is less painful about hiding who you are from people.\n\nThose are generally the times you're going to come out to someone... \n\nIn any case, I hope if you're asking this for personal reasons, it works out and you don't get hurt by anyone for just being the person you are.  =)
781930
I'm a lesbian and there is a saying about that.  Family (meaning people in life) usually can tell family.  Being around gay people long enough you get the sense of it.  If he isn't giving off that sort of vibe then be careful.  If it's that serious and you want to know talk about something a joke or actor who is gay.  Feel him out on the subject.  Most times a person will say something about it.  Don't just ask him out.  Men are extremely sensitive about that.  You don't want to get hurt.  In more ways then one.
437797
The best way is to say nothing and keep it to yourself.  When is the last time anyone who is straight came out as straight?? Be discrete, they will all figure it out sooner or later.  The anouncement is unecessary, awkward, most always backfires by immediate changes in people's opinion of you.  Say nothing, be kind, be discrete, be safe, and have a decent and productive life.......
1113431
First you have to be sure about yourself, once you have accepted the fact that you are gay and there is no way of changing the fact then you have to be strong, because over the years to come you will hear all sorts of jokes and comments that are cruel, but are based on ignorance. You have to understand, that you have had time to become used to the idea of being gay, and probably have for some time, but when you come out to your family, this will be the first time they have had it confirmed and it will take them time to get use to it. First level with them, just sit them down and level with them, don't do what most gay people have done in the past including myself and that is to try and hide it, because you can never get away from it. The next thing to do is to be the man that you are, being gay doesn't mean you have to be a pansy, you can still be the man you know you are and the man they thought you where going to be. Move out as soon as you can and avoid contact with them for a few months, this does two things. 1. it gives them time to discuss, fight, backstab and blame each other, without yuo having to hear it or feel guilty about it, because you didn't choose to be gay, you where born that way, and anyone who says other wise is a bloody idiot.\n2. This gives you time to explore your sexuallity without the fear of being caught with your pants down by your parents.\n16 is young, but at 16 I knew I was a raging queer, but it wasn't until I was thirty that I levelled with my family, during this time I explored straight relationships, gay one night stands, sauna's etc... But in the end I faced my fears and relized if I didn't level with my family, I would never have a chance of being happy with my own life and to me my life is the more important that the embarassment I caused my parents. For ten years I have lived in a gay relationship and now my family accept my partner as a part of the family, they now accept that they are not going to get grandchildren but now they have had the time to relize that I hadn't change, I was still the son they had 42 years ago, good luck kid, but careful there are some crazy mother----- out there, but be happy and have fun
933891
Tell you parents, both sets.  Either they will accept you, or they will not.  Lying does not do anybody any good.  If you tell them, they MAY accept you guys dating.  If you hide it, you will never know.\nPlus, if you are caught, then no matter what the answer WOULD have been, it WILL now be "no."
891153
Uhh...nope...but it depends if your into girly guys..evidently you are because your dating him. stop worrying about what other people think and just have fun. your not marrying him so don't fret.
253034
The sooner the better. They may be hurt or angry or confused - but the sooner you get it out there the sooner you can all talk about it and you won't have to feel like you are hiding it from them. It is too depressing when you can't be yourself completely - it depends on your parents and their personalities and beliefs as to how they might react...but the sooner you do it the better and the more time you will have to let them get used to it. They may want you to go to a counselor or talk to someone else about it. You need to do this because more than likely the counselor is going to be someone you can talk to openly and it is confidential- they can not tell your parents anything without your consent. And it is important that you have someone to talk to that you can trust. It will be an adjustment for your parents. Your parents may think they did something wrong to "make" you gay. They may be sad and think they will never have grandchildren, etc... They may believe that homosexuality is a choice and expect you to change your mind, or think it is a phase and think you will grow out of it. It is important that you are patient with them as they will have to work through their own feelings about the matter. But the sooner you talk to them about it the sooner you can all work on getting through it together.