Should one be willing to give up their career to stay with the person they are married to?
554398
Definitely not you might put your career on hold for a few years if you want children or other reasons but to give up on a career you worked hard to get never give up
141810
I think it's a personal question that has to be addressed individually. It depends on what is important to you. If you have an absolute need to know what the other person is like every day, all the time, then perhaps you should. Or if you believe in love and what a commitment to marriage means, then take the faith that you love this person no matter what their personal habits. You can get to know a person's character without living with them, but again, it's up to you and them. As for strengthening a relationship, more studies show that it doesn't, but everybody's different. You also have to think about your potential kids and what kind of an example would you want to set for them? Years down the road what are you going to want to be able to say to them about moving in with their partners? That usually will reflect what is in your own heart and you should listen to that.
9442
You cant hold on to something thats not there...You can continue to do your end of the vows and pray that he will have a change of heart but ultimatley in marriage love comes and goes but its commitment to that person that will keep a marriage.  Apparently hes never had that commitment to hold on to you for "better or for worse".  He obviously moves according feeling not any thing else.  You keep your end if hes not willing than let it go--More advice? chrystaldr@yahoo.com
1146924
Forget the other guy.  The grass is always greener...until you divorce this man and marry the new one.  Then you will find yourself feeling this way again in 15 years.  Marriage is about commitment to one person.  A partnership.  You don't trade a good husband in for a new model, like you do a car.  You may learn the hard way if you leave just how hard good men are to find.  And trust me, someone will be more than happy to take your place if you leave.  I know a woman who is crying herself to sleep every night because she cheated on her husband of (ironically enough) 15 years.  He divorced her and she went off to live her "dream life".  Now she is miserable and realizes she made a mistake, but guess what?  He met someone new and is in love with her now (me).  I will never leave him, he is a dream come true!
170710
If you're not sure, then don't. Marriage is a big step and commitment. You don't want to half-a$$ it.
1162266
In my opinion the two people involved are obviously unhappy with their lives so they need to decide what exactly it is that they want and move on. If you're unhappy in the marriage let it go and be together but if there's still a chance that they can salvage the marriages than they need to walk away from the affair. In any case a decision must be made. It's not fair to anyone involved if things stay the way that they are.
605955
You sound like a great wife, he should be glad to have someone who supports him so much.  I'm kind of in the same situation.  I kept my day job and work full time while I attend night classes to earn my degree and then I can move on.  It's really really hard having a full time job and being a full time student...but I'm glad to see that you and your husband know that the work and the payoff is better than him being in a miserable job.  I really doubt your husband is too old to start learning new things.  However, as far as marriage, keep in mind that if he takes night classes or even if he quits his job and gets a new one while he goes to school...he won't be around as much and he'll have more responsibilities.  Me and my wife sometimes don't see each other for awhile and argue sometimes, but it's not that bad.  Good luck!
832063
Why not ask my ex-wife who thought it would be better to go out with a 53 year old married man instead of working on our marriage.  (Just a little vent here, I'll feel better, LOL.)\n\nI do believe too many folks give up too easily, or don't really try at all, or have unrealistic expectations of what marriage offers. \n\nMarriage is not give and take, it is give.\n\nI don't recall anything in my vows that said I'll be there unless I'm not happy.  They were a pledge to be there, regardless of circumstance.\n\nToo many folks either don't take traditional vows, or don't really think they mean anything, given the numbers of divorced people today.\n\nI don't know how to help folks decide that they are going to try.  All it takes if for one of the partners to bail out for the marriage to be over. \n\nSo we can coach and coach, but if one partner is selfish and chooses affairs, or abuse, or abandonment and divorce over working through the issues, I really don't know how you can solve that.\n\nI certainly wanted to work on the issues, but was unable to convince my ex-wife that her affair with a married man was a worse solution than working on our marriage.\n\nAnd the courts and society at large seems to go right along with her line of thinking.  If you are unhappy, don't bother looking at yourself, blame your partner and find another seems to be the way things are done.\n\nI agree, often they will end up with the same problems because they too are part of the problem, but failed to address that aspect of it.\n\nYou can run away from your spouse, but you cannot run away from yourself.  So if you have things that you need to address about yourself, then do that BEFORE you choose an affair or divorce.
510373
I hear your frustration, but I also hear someone who is still in love with the person they married.  Sure, you don't feel for him the way you used but some of that is normal after 10 years, and some of that is from the financial frustration that is dragging you down.  Some times life just doesn't work out the way we had planned and we have to decide if it is best to adjust our expectations or change our lives.  This isn't easy as you have stated because you may find out that nothing changes or things are even worse without him.  Divorce is a huge step and a risk because it doesn't guarantee you that everything will get better.  I guess the big question is, can things change financially just because of a divorce?
1096082
you already know the answer. you will leave him or start cheating yourself to get even. your decision is to leave with your dignity or not.
1185384
Respect his view.  Marriage now a days is nothing but a business contract.  The divorce rate is ridiculous.  The idea of marriage no longer exists anymore.  Why leave a person because of the word called marriage?  YOu can be happy with him the rest of your life without a silly and useless certificate.
322075
Ehh, I am going to go out on a limb here, and say that you shouldn't AUTOMATICALLY leave him, unless he is still activly particpating in his marriage, in which case you should.  I have to say that I was married, but not (we were separated), and I started a relationship with an amazing woman, but I was up front about my status.  Give him a chance to explain himself, if you don't like what he has to say then you can slap him and leave.  Don't act to hasty, get the lay of the land before you make a decision.  Good luck my dear, I hope it turns out ok.
341036
Don't make it harder on yourself by staying and being miserable. \n\nYes you may still love your wife but people change and your needs/ desires changed as you grow older.\n\nIt is odd but humans grow accustomed to EVERYTHING, whether it is good or bad. In this case it sounds like it was a good situation gone bad.\n\nYou have to ask yourself "is this relationship worth it?" Only you can define the "it", because you know exactly what goes on inside your relationship. \n\nIt took time to grow together, involving each other in the everyday things in your life. It will now take time to learn to live without that person, but you can do it. There will be times that you feel like you've made the wrong decision, but trust that you have if it is truly what you wanted to do.\n\nHaving said that i say go for what makes you happy - life can get you down in so many ways - you should find what makes you happy.
558655
Of course. To stay with someone who loves you out of a sense of obligation is not fair to the one who loves you. No matter how much they might hurt.
961411
He will regret that for the rest of his life. If you really love him marry him and support his mission. Look at all the benefits you get and think positive. Why do  you want him to get out? Does he have a career lined up is he a college graduate? \nGetting out that way is not the answer. You want him to do that for you? What are you willing to sacrifice for him? Comon Think Straight!
1186591
id say if you cant spice up your relationship enough to where you want to stay together, then their you go. You answered your own question. Its time to call it quits.
688177
You leave. Its not fair to anyone, Its not being true to yourself and its not being faithfull to your wedding vows and you have NO business being there. Kids or not, that situation is not good for anybody and no one can be happy and its not fair to anyone.You have one life to live and you shouldnt be miserable just because you made a promise to someone. People change and things happen.