I've been with this woman for 3yrs... How do I bring the sexuality back into our relationship?
537337
Well firstly you shouldnt dump her for another woman like someone else suggested *grin*. Thats quite pathetic :) \nIf you have been in a relationship with this woman for 3 years then you obviousley love her, and the fact that you want to improve upon your relationship proves this.\n\nIntimacy is important in any relationships as it helps to bring you both together and makes you unique in the sense that (hopefully!!) you only share it with each other so i can understand why you crave it and perhaps miss it, if it is rare or non existent?\n\nYou have to ask yourself-why you arnt having as much sex as you would like to? Do you have a busy schedule; do you have quality time together? Do you both take the time out to be romantic and appreciative of each other-such as going out to dinner, having some wine and then coming back home to bed together? ;)\n\nOverall you need to be honest and open with your partner about your sexual relationship-as it takes two to tango! If you dont tell her then she will never know-but try not to be critical.\n\nI would suggest bringing her out for a nice meal and a drink, or making her a candlelite dinner at home, a nice massage and a bath together... You dont have to buy her expensive items or to be materialistic, but ust show your appreciation and overall that you love her.\n\nGet close to one another and start appreciating each other again! ;) Good luck... ;)\n\nx
405233
I was with my ex for 8 years as well and after about six years into the relationship, the sex became less and less.  By the eighth year in our relationship, we realized our situation was getting old and both agreed to move on.  My advice to you is to try new things with him (positions, places, etc) and try to spice things up...maybe rekindle the sex you had when you first started going out.  I really wish I would have tried, instead of giving up.\nGood luck!
427733
Sit down and talk with her and tell her how you fell about her and sex. If that does not work than maybe you and her should think about getting some help. Marriage conslour!! I wish you the best of Luck!!
156076
There are a lot of reasons women lose interest in sex.  Depression is a big one.  How old is your child?  Could this be postpartum depression?  Some prescription drugs can cause loss of sexual appetite as well.  \n\nAre you showing her attention outside of the bedroom?  Women crave intimacy and many of us need to talk or just be listened to in order to feel like we are important to our spouse.  \n\nAre you making her feel like she is the number one priority in your life? Other than God, your wife should come before EVERYTHING ELSE in your life.  YES, this includes your job, friends, parents, kids, sports, TV & even your computer.  She must "FEEL" loved.\n\nAre you speaking her "Love Language"?  Gary Chaspman wrote a book called the "The Five Languages of Love".  Every married person should read this book.  It helps us understand how to express I love you to our spouse in a way that they will get the message on a regular basis.  There are five love languages that are discussed:\n  1.  Words of Affirmation - Praise her, tell her how great she looks,  tell her what a good job she is doing, ect.\n  2.  Quality Time - One on one paying attention to her needs, wants and desires.\n  3.  Receiving Gifts - Buy her stuff: flowers, jewlery, candles, lingerie, goodies, nic-naks, etc.\n  4.  Acts of Service - Do stuff for her:  Wash the dishes, cook dinner, rub her back, run her errands, take your kid to the park so she can take a nap, anything to lighten her load.\n  5.  Physical touch - NOT SEX!  Touch her in a way that is not going to lead to sex.  Let her know that you enjoy being close to her even if you may not get some right away.  This is kind of like banking.  You can't get money out of the ATM if you haven't made any deposits.  Make deposits in your wifes "love bank" and soon there will be enough to make a withdrawl.\n\nThe last thing that I thought of is maybe she doesn't feel sexy after having a baby if her shape is not as cute as it was or she is just plain tired and needs a rest.  Make sure you complement her in a sincere way so she feels like she is still pretty and desirable.  \n\nDo you have a relative who can babysit for you?  A weekend away just might do the trick.  Make it romantic and cater to her needs.  Light candles, use massage oils, sprinkle rose petals on the bed and make sure she knows that a romantic interlude is going to be ALL about her.  Her wants, desires, needs.  Don't worry, you'll still get yours in the end and she will be a much happier wife.\n\nHAPPY WIFE = HAPPY LIFE!!!  Make her happy!
953670
I'm sorry to hear that you are having this problem with your wife.......however it doesn't mean that this is the end of your relationship. Women begin experiencing many changes in their bodies in their 40's (for example, menopause doen't all happen at once, there are different phases, it may take years to fully get through it), and it could be very possible that these hormonal changes are causing her lack of sex drive.\n\nI would try to be as sensitive and supportive to your wife as possible, as she may be having a hard time dealing with this herself, and then to also feel that she's letting her husband down is also an emotional strain. Ask her questions about what and how she is feeling towards you, but not in a judgemental or  way, maybe phrase it like, "I've noticed that we haven't been intimate, I just wanted to talk about it and see if there's anything I can do because I miss our closeness." \n\nShe could also be feeling low self-esteem. Do you still let her know that she is the love of your life and you think she's the most beautiful woman you've ever seen? These sincere compliments can really lift a gal's spirits. Have you thought about surprising her with a date night, just out of the blue, something that she'd love to do. Remind her of the days you first started dating, relive some of your old memories together.  \n\nTell her as gently as you can that while she sees this as no big deal, you are feeling like something that the two of you once shared is missing, and it's important for you to understand why. We are all human beings and have needs, the fact that you so badly want to share this act of love with her and her only, but she's not interested is affecting you. \n\nIn conclusion, I think that in order to fix any of your problems, you'll have to open up the lines of communication. But I wouldn't jump to the conclusion that this is a sure sign of a failing relationship. Take into consideration all of the possible factors, and discuss them with your wife. Maybe a marriage counselor would help you both to express your feelings and concerns with each other. I wish you the best of luck, and remember to always tell your wife that you love her!
938608
yea u are going back as a rebound for each other.. im doing it myself.. I miss mine like crazy, but we arent together for several reasons, but when we see each other we have sex and its always better everytime!!! Wish i could give u better advise,but i guess u can say i need the advice myself.. good luck to u
696621
Please, you are in lust with her I am doubting that love has anything to do with it.  You and your wife need to try and rekindle your marriage.
637179
Been there done that...whats up with the 23rd year...Its alot of years, you'll never forget the past, my marriage was great the first 20 years, but I could see the dis-interest building as the months after pasted by...and she too felt she was no longer in love with me, however I later found out her interests were directed toward another...suggestions..Seek marriage council advice, put forth a 100% effort to resolve such conflict, and if it doesn't turn out happily ever after, if there ever was an ideal time to be single , its with a good job, no mortgage and your child a grown adult...very simular to my situation...its was 2 yrs separated and 3 years since divorce and those conditions were blessings in disguise.
748
It sounds like she's not interested in working things out.  Or you haven't been listening to her needs and haven't changed your behavior and she might feel you'd be better off finding someone who likes what you like and allowing her to move on and be happy too.\n\nIt can be too late or it might not.  Only you can know for sure.
808887
Try some bondage or some role-playing.  Keeping it fresh is the hardest thing for me too (in a relationship for 7 years now).  When the feelings of passion wear off, we have to get creative.  Even if you are sexually active, it gets old for both parties.  Try going to an adult store for ideas or look at some adult couple websites.  I think most long-time couples would say that this is the hardest area to overcome and new ideas are always welcome.
478987
I suggest sitting down and talking to her about it candidly. Try new things, buy her a new "toy", something sexy to wear to bed, a little porn (it works, for either arousal or a giggle sometimes, I swear) a makeover day...Chances are she's not sure how to change the same issue you're not sure of either. You both probably need a change, try something you never thought you would, and I bet the spice comes right back!..GL;)
1062026
I don't think the money issue has much to do with not having sex for 4 years.. right? Well, to be blunt, maybe your/she's bored? You should probably think of ways to get the spark going again.. Maybe make a romantic gesture, do more activities together, etc..  If your wife wants you to hug her and kiss her there's not much of a problem with her.. Kissing and hugging lead to sex.. It's just a long dryspell you went through.. I'm sure you guys can work things out. Best of luck.
315399
It is common for women to lose interest after a hysterectomy.  It's hormonal hun.  She probably can't 'help it'.  Much like men who have Erectile Dysfuncion because of blood pressure or diabetes.  \n\nI believe you need to have a very honest and open talk with her.  Sex is a PART of marriage.  It isn't the end all be all, but it is a part of it.  Explain that you are lonely and that you miss being close to her.  That you miss making love with her.  Is there anything that you have done wrong or are there things 'she'd like to try' or that 'she feels have been missing from the sex life'?  If the answers are all 'no progress', ask her if she's considered that many women have no sex drive after hysterectomy's and/or menopause, and would she be willing to see her doctor about 'female viagra'?  If she stil is unwilling or unopen to any solutions then you need to put it very bluntly but carefully.\n\nI am still your hubby, I still love you,  I still want you.  I am still WANT to be a sexually active man, what would you suggest I do at this point?  No suggestions have been acceptable to you, should we try counseling or what would you prefer that I do now?  Because for me, no sex period is not an acceptable option for me anymore.  \n\nBest of luck to you and I'll hope it works out for you both!!
739443
wow!! your a much better man than any i know if you have been around for 7 months and no sex! i just turned 28 and i dont know how you do it!!! yep, you love this one for real!  i would sit down and have a deep conversation with her about your feelings.
607541
I'm assuming you mean that sex isn't as much a part of your relationship as it used to be? That's the way it goes with relationships, at first you can't keep your hands off each other, but after a few months that calms down. The only way to keep that "new love" frequency it to get a new love every 4-6 months. Your alternative is to stick with the love you have now, and be happy that your relationship is morphing into something more substantial than mere physical desire.
731635
look I'm a female so I really don't agree with what your trying to do. If you are no longer sexually attracted to your gf then break it off. she has feelings and for you to cheat on her after 1 1/2 yrs you will be pathetic. she trust you and she knows that something has changed that's why she is trying to get the affection from you or put it back into your relationship. sex isn't everything if you don't have someone you love to share it with. I think you really need to think about what your saying and trying to do. If you think your relationship is done then break it off and leave it at that. But if you just want to have sex u and ur gf should do role playing. It will increase the excitement in your relationship and hopefully stray u away from other interest
369662
Go back to the way you treated each other in the beginning.  Flowers, gifts occasionally.  Look at her when she talks with you.  Honesty and respect, concern for her.