how can one be more assertive??
538399
watch, listen and learn from people you think are assertive. practice on sales people, works for me.\njust take charge of any situation, it will get easier, everyone wants someone else to take charge. do it before the wrong one does.
698066
Maybe you've just become so used to it you don't know how to get away from it, maybe the people in your life are making you feel very reliant on them, if its really bothering you then get a few books from the library on how to be assertive and more confident, the sooner you break away from relying on others the more you will be yourself, good luck.
588908
Heres what you do. Be an existentialist. Forget that neing nervous is the problem and try to accept that neing nervous is just there, that you WILL be nervous and thats to be expected, then you will find that you notice perhaps that others are too. Being nervous isnt a character flaw, its part of life, its to be expected. SO then what are you left with once you take that out of the equation...just you right, being outgoing isnt something that you can just be, it takes a little confidence. The catch is that the way to get that confidence it by just doing it....so force yourself, make conversation with people you normally wouldnt, be friendly to people, talk to them but dont stress too much.  You will find that you feel better as time goes on and you will notice the nervousness less and less. \n\nI know that probably didnt help, but good luck anyway!!
355557
Maybe you need the right blend of agressive and passive.  Plus, some girls and guys go for one or the other etc.  Also, I know it sounds lame, but just be yourself.  And be ultra-charming.  \nI think you should concentrate on improving yourself, for your own benefit.  And, if you improve, women or men will notice and go "hmmm"
1157579
dont assume ..............and i am not being assertive
61699
Just try to make yourself stronger. don't think of poeple talkings much and improve your self confidence.\nI was like this when I was younger but I released being sensentive too much is not worth at all.
743514
listen more,  develope your listening skills,  people don't usually want ideas or solutions... all they want is too be heard and know that someone heard them... which builds trust and support and you didn't even have to give any input... just listen... \n\nfollow up with something like... so you would like to improve your relationships skill?    How would a good relationship look to you?\n\nbasic stuff...
64045
Be yourself. Think and become independent of mind. In particular, be your moral self. It's strength of character that makes you strong, so it's best to go to work on that. Your masculinity is already there, even if dormant, and will follow your character. You will be and act more "manly."
1114719
Take a cheerful part in conversation as long as you can and then when the talk veers away from what you are able to take part in, excuse yourself politely and go do your cross-stitch.  It's your attitude that is the key to whether you come off rude or not. You shouldn't feel obligated to continue "for hours" having to take part in conversation on topics that you don't feel connected to.
279891
Too Sensitive, How to Toughen Up?\nEnjoy your sensitivity, not everybody is sensitive. It can, however, be hurtful in a less sensitive world.\n\nThere is a way to tolerate this world: Not to take anything personally. \n\nWhat people throw out and at others is mainly an expression of their own problems. You may want to tell yourself, "This is this person's problem, I am not taking on his/her mood, nastiness etc., nor do I react to it the same way."\n\nYou may want to try to smile, forgive and turn away, and release those from your life who are too insensitive, if you can.\n\nSome people however, need some drastic feed back, after polite and gentle approaches have failed.\n\nExample 1: A male student would always make some nasty remarks to a female student, when standing in line at the cafeteria, which embarrassed her. She was not used to such language. She planned an answer. One day, she finally said very loud to him, "This can only come from a boy with a low IQ as yours is." He obviously felt embarrassed to hear this from a girl in front of all the other students waiting in line. Amazingly, this was the remedy for him, he never bothered her again.\n\nExample 2: Another boy would enter late in the lecture hall at the university. When he detected where a certain girl was sitting, he would walk up to her and in passing squeeze her cheek. She was too shy to protest aloud and interrupt the lecture, but she planned a response. One day she came in later then he used to be, and walked up to him and whole heartedly squeezed his cheek. He left the girl alone after this.\n\nIf you are too sensitive to noise, Hypericum Perforatum works wonders. That's how you may like to take it: Place 2-4 pills (on milk sugar base only) in 1 ounce of purified water. Take a drop under your tongue very often, until the sensitivity gats less. Then take it less and less often, but at least 5 times a day to keep up the effect in the daily wear and tear. Non-addictive, nontoxic. Make fresh every day, make less if less is needed.\n\nI feel that it is most important in life, not to take things personally. And to "love your neighbor as yourself"(Bible) that is, we should not harbor resentment, but should let go and be free. Be you!\n\nEnjoy your sensitivity, you may want to use it to tune into the finer worlds and experiences, may be through meditation. You may be able to learn to sense ahead, find lost items or help others long distance. That's what sensitive people can become good at. It is all energy, and energy travels fast and everywhere we send it! \nMay you enjoy your sensitivity!\n\nCordially, India.Magica
440808
I try to wait for my turn to speak. I was brought up to be patient and polite. But when I was in my late teens I realized that sometimes if I don't butt in no one would listen to me at all. Even if your polite and quiet you deserve to have your opinion heard.
426176
Behave mature in public by having good manners. Who cares how you act in front of friends and family as long as you're not rude? I'm an adult, but I'm still silly.
931378
just try and be open and friendly, don't try and sound all business like as that can immediately put people off.. but then again don't go to the other extreme and be too laid back!\n\nthink of the traits you see in a person that makes them approachable and mirror them =)
733374
be a good listener first.\nthink positively and act accordingly.
178794
you can't. suck it up, use all of your confidence, and yes, be yourself. relax to seem easy going. most of the time the first word is the hardest. you'll be fine.
917663
Hi Amanda, \n\nPlease know that everything begins inside you, and that is where you can begin your being more outgoing and more assertive. \n\nSeveral powerful tools to help turn your desires into reality are as follows: \n\nHave your ever heard of the term, " Brain Writing"?\nDo this daily: Take a pen and paper and start writing what you want to transpire. for example, " I am a vibrant and outgoing person who is assertive and spontaneous". or something to that effect. Write this, say, 10 times, or as many times as you feel comfortable with. \n\nAnother is called creative visualization. Find a place where you will not be disturbed, perhaps when you go to bed at night, and in your mind, visualize yourself being very outgoing, talkative and assertive. See yourself in different situations and see how you are spontaneous and assertive. If you should feel uncomfortable, stop the visualization and say to yourself, cancel, cancel negative thoughts. and continue with your visualization. \n\nWhen you do this, you sub conscious mind takes everything in, and it cannot tell the difference between a real event or an imagined event. So each time you do these creative visualizations, you are setting the stage for the new you to emerge. \n\nIn closing, always remember, that others will always see you as you see yourself. It's called self confidence and other people will always pick up on it. \n\nI apologize for this being rather long, but it was necessary for me to do whatever it takes to help you to become the new person you desire. \n\nEnjoy the new you, \n\nDarryl S.
1180564
* Always be the better person\n* Be respectful of other people (no matter how rude they can be)\n* Work harder... no, hardest!\n* Watch your back