My husband and I are having difficulties, how can we revive the sparks?
554075
You both need to sit down and talk about what you both expect from one another. Treating someone horrible, and then expecting some other treatment in return is not a healthy relationship. Take time for yourself away from each other, then spend time with each other. You have to give a little to get a little. But talk alot of things out first, and be HONEST!! Ask each other how they expect to be treated, and give them that in return. Walk away from the fights, and calm down , then talk it out calmly. Things will work out for the best!
1023064
You need to talk to him. The best way to do this is to go out to a quiet restaurant for dinner together one evening. Stay positive but get your point across to him about how you feel. You also need to ask him what has happened, at least in his opinion. Also, talk about the good times the two of you have had together. STAY POSITIVE! This will help both of you. This could be the start the two of you need to open up the talking again. The more the two of you can talk and stay positive, the better the chance you have of saving your marriage! I can tell that you still love and care for him, I wish you luck!
285081
Just try to do more things together that dont envolve sex, maybe something will spark and ingnite his passion again. It's not an uncommon thing for guys to not want sex that often. Check out www.psychologytoday.com they have a lot of articles about this topic there. good luck to you!
202269
As corny and very used as it may sound, communication is basic, my husband and I have been married only for 3 years but the first year was like that, fighting over everything, but, we got tired of it, sat down and talked about what triggers our outbursts and started out with little things and moved up to  bigger ones,  I don't know for how long you have been with him or how serious it is, but you need to compromise and be commited to the relationship, besides  if you do one unexpected act of kindness towards each other, the other will be willing to reciprocate and it will make him feel you care and it will make things smoother. That worked for us and now things are a lot better.
121815
Sex is important to a marriage of course, but communication, trust, respect and friendship are VERY important. There is something going on with your husband and just reading your question, he seems to be distant and it does not sound like it's just about the sex for him. Try and give him some time of pampering him...massage him without touching him sexually, just make it relaxing. If he likes a favorite food & TV show set that up for him too. Don't bring up any conversation during this "his" time. Just let him know that you love him and you are there for him if he ever needs to talk about anything and say nothing else. If you make him feel safe and that you are his best friend, that is the beginning of intimacy and then on a different day, ask him if you can talk and be honest with him that you miss your physical relationship with him and ask him if there is anything that the two of you can work on together to try and bring intimacy back into your bedroom. When you share with him how you feel, don't be accusatory but just say "I feel" and also truly listen to how he feels. Good luck. Marriage is always something we have to work on.
204744
Tried the swinger thing...husband ended up falling in love and going from fun to affair...on the flip side he loves me again but i can't forgive him for falling out of love with me.  And i've found someone else.
206133
I WAS DATING SOMEONE YEARS AGO. HE WAS PRETTY INTO ME. AND I COULD NOT PUT MY FINGER ON IT. I EXPLAINED THAT THERE WAS NO SPARK AND NEVER SAW HIM AGAIN. A RELATIONSHIP WITH NO SPARK IS NOT WORTH IT IN THE LONG RUN. I BELIEVE THAT THE SPARK IS EITHER THERE OR IT IS NOT. I HAVE NEVER BEEN ABLE TO CREATE A SPARK FROM WHERE THERE WAS NOT ONE TO BEGIN WITH. MUTUAL AFFECTION, AS I AM TOLD, CAN SUSTAIN MOST PEOPLE LONG TERM. I PREFER THE SPARK THOUGH:)
163642
Your best bet is to learn his 5 basic "needs" and his "love language" and work on reopening the lines of communication. \n\nWhen you do that he can relax and feel more confident sharing his feelings with you. ( something he is probably uncomfortable doing. )
583107
Maybe turn back the clock and remember what brought you both together and go back there and re-kindle the flame.*\n\nAfter five years there love there that will never go away.
1018598
You know what? I don't think it is fair what some of the others have said..i think it is entirely possible to lose abit of that...and what you need to do is relive a lot of the past...remember a lot fo the romantic things you did for him and sneak those things back in to your repetoire...by that I mean...I sent my wife an Easter card when she went back to see her family in South America and she loved it..my wife and I started off by writing and emailing and while we've known each other for 11 years we've been married for 7.  I always try to do things, read old letters, look at pictures and read diaries of things we did together and I try to do them again...go to fine restaurants (tough with a child) but we do what we can.  I haven't fallen out of love with my wife but I think that it is necessary for you to start dating your husband on a weekly basis so that it doesn't happen again-FLIRT WITH HIM-go park..hehe whatever.....life is a long journey..sometimes it seems as though your priorities with children and work that sometimes you may lose the spark a bit..just light the pilot light again and do what you can to get his attention and it doesn't have to go back to the bed-especially if you are trying to see where his feelings lie with you...(no pun intended)...yeah that will get his attention in the short run..as it will in most men...BUT....it won't stand for the long run...so there has to be more.  maybe play hard to get a little..make him feel as though he has to give chase a bit...don't play the game too long...but...entice him..take him out for ice cream or even to a ball game EVEN if you HATE baseball or football...or a concert if he doesn't care for sports...\namusement park..you get the idea...do things that he LOVES to do that you would normally not care so much for because you CARE about doing stuff he is interested in...it is just an idea...surprise him...
974228
Don't listen to all the negativity that people are posting.  You can make it through this if you are both wanting too..and it sounds like you want to very much and she is cautiously willing.  So that is good.\nYou are both young with a toddler and you're a newly married couple...so with all of these changes in your lives that can be alot to take on and manage. It is good that you are both realizing that there are changes that need to be made to make your family work. So suggest to her that you would be willing to go to counseling even if it is once a month or every other week.  It's not a bad thing to have someone in the middle of the issues to sort things out.  \nJust keep on being open with her and be honest on your wanting to change some things. Also take some time to take her out...just the two of you have an evening out once in a while...be silly have fun...just be together...I bet it's been a while since you have done that. If you combine those things together you are off to a great start.  \nAny relationship needs work and there will ALWAYS (no matter how long you are married for) be rough spots that need to be worked through...it's ongoing. But as long as both people are committed to each other and seeing the family thrive then your really working from a good foundation.\nDon't give up there is ALWAYS hope!!!  Best wishes to you in winning your wife back!!!
196763
the 1st thing is wot coz the tension? both of u guys shld sit down and talk abt it. let each other say wots on their mind without the other interruptin, then come up wit a solution together, a common ground. well if they dont seem to co-operate, respect u, than mayb its best 2 re-think the relationship, coz how can it work in the future wen ur marriage?
816869
Hi, has he always been like this or is it just the spell you've been arguing.\nMarriage is hard work and needs constant nuturing from both sides to feel loved by the other side.\nSome people (men and women) have difficulty in expressing themselves, is this your husband?\nIf so, maybe you accepting this as him and noticing the other ways he does express love will help, but there is nothing like a hug and hearing how we are loved so do understand where you are coming from.\nA husband and wife will either knit together over the years or move in opposite directions (like my ex and I) but for it to work you must be moving in the same direction. \nTalking to him and continuing to express yourself, your love is all you can do really, and hope he hears you before you change, because you will in time.\nMaking time for those special moments will also help, there is always another little trick we can pull out the hat to surprise him, reveal another mystery about yourself-try it-remind him of why he got with you. ;)\nJust keep trying until he either wakes up or loses out with the woman he fell for and married, I wish you both luck xxx
319551
My suggestion would be to start all over, let me explain.  When you were dating, before kids, before the wedding, what did you do?  Did you enjoy going to dinners?, movies?, hiking?  Whatever it was that brought you two to the point of falling love do it again.  Send the kids to grandma's for the weekend, get a babysitter for friday night and go to dinner.  Sure, it may feel a little weird the first few times you go out, but that's because you haven't done it in a while.  Start slow and build from there.  There's no majic trick to finding the spark again, you need to work at it, but it will come!  Remind yourself, and your spouse, why you fell in love and got married. \n\nHope this helps!
400883
that's a rough situaltion.  you just got to keep talking and telling him that sometime this is what happens, and just let him know that you both love him very much.  it gets harder but then it will be ok.  just remember you have great kids and thats what matters
281680
make a list of ALL those things which drew you two together, and a list of all those things which work between you. build from there, and perhaps gently talk about those things to your partner, have your partner try the same thing. It is a beginning place to start.  the key is, you have to find it for yourself,,,
903476
Marriage is a series of highs and lows.  You sound like you are at the low part.\n\nWhy don't you take the initiative and put a spark back into your marriage?  Do something unexpected.  Take a weekend trip together.  Do something to save your marriage before you get so bored that you start looking elsewhere.