I am loosing my boyfriend because of his mother, what to do?
536565
i feel sorry for you. i have a similar situation. my boyfriend's mother doesn't like me as well. we have been together for more than 4 years now.  what i suggest is you discuss this matter with your boy and try to win your future mother in law.  if you can't just fix your relationship with your man and just ignore her.  what's important is that you and your man are madly inlove with each other.
363485
Well first of all, his mother isn't the one controlling his feelings. \n\nIf you love him and really care for him then your best bet is to talk with him about whats going on. Ask him if he does care about you! \n\nDepending on your age and his age, its hard to say whether this will work or not because if you're young, it will be hard to see one another without the parents but if you're older... you can definitely still see each other, who's stopping you!? No one! Go with your heart and tell him to do the same. GOOD LUCK!
490962
sounds like you're both not making a big enough effort....you should try to learn how to play that game they play, that way you can get involved...and you should talk to him and tell him that its not nice for him to break plans with you so that he can go and play cards at his mom's....good luck.
1102886
Oh boy! What about all those people who walks around the street or just even sit there begging.  He is far lucky than those people... damn lucky.   That mother of his will surely be gone soon and he will be sorry.  Just take care of yourself, who cares if he is this or that way of life.  Everybody has their way of living, you can either accept or reject him.  You have that choice.  I just don't give a damn if the driver next to me in the traffic is picking his/her noise.  Or you can just simply spend more time with great-grandma and help her out, maybe he'll feel guilty that you wouldn't even talk to him instead you will be with her.
596628
Would this mother figure want you to go to great expense and trouble to visit her? If not, then do not attend her funeral. If your presence will not be missed by her family members, think about having a private remembrance time of your own (where you are) during her funeral. Your heart grieves for your loss and sometimes seeing the body you have loved one more time provides closure, but sometimes it deepens your sense of loss. \n\nIf you still feel compelled to attend, explain to your forever friend that you were tied to this woman in a way you were not tied to his parents. You were repaying a long-owed debt of love and loyalty to this woman.\n\nI'm sorry for your loss. I have dear ladies in my life and cannot fathom your pain.
159858
you know what is best for you. your mother might be a pain in the a** how ever she just lost some one close to her and she needs you and your family more than you know. for now think of her for a little while then you can do what is best for you. even though we all know how mother in laws can be you can do it hang in there heath.
622315
Hon there was nothing you could do,  his mom moved he had to go with her so it is better that you be free than try to hold on to a doomed long distance relationship.  Dry your eyes get a drink of cold water and start making plans to make you happy as you go on with your life.  He moved and that is that.  Don't waste any more precious time over this.
471086
Don't do anything. For whatever reasonit is she just doesn't like you and if she really doesn't have a valid reason, such as you doing something to her or her son, she just won't.  Any little thing you do OR don't do she will take it as something negative and will always have something to complain about.  Always be courteous to her and love her son dearly.  Never change trying to make her happy because you will make yourself unhappy.  Hey if her son loves you is because he likes YOU, not what his mother might want you to be.  Try to live away from her as comfortably as your boyfriend will budge to and when you guys visit just be yourself.  One of two things will happen , she'll eventually warm up to you or hate you even more. Either way don't lose your sense of self.
374438
kids of that age are very hard work as any parent will tell you.  The first rule with out knowing your circumstances is not to try to replace the mother that i assume they have lost for what ever reason.  You must be the adult and keep respect on both sides.  As one of the other answerer's says try going to the park, have fun join in with them, give them your time it is worth more that any money.
852130
You're looking at this the wrong way.  What you have to realize is that HE has to stop her, you can't.  If they are that close you will only become their common enemy if you attack her.  What you need to do is talk to your husband and let him know how you feel.  Remember to be respectful of his mother.  He may be telling you that he doesn't like the way she "butts" into your relationship but, trust me he's not telling his mom that.  Maybe you should try to be friends with her.  You both love the same man, right?  That's your first thing that you have in common.  Build a relationship, don't attempt to tear one down.  You can't win.  It is ultimately your husband's place to establish boundaries with his mom.\nGood luck!
1001767
I just lost mine 2 days ago and I hadn't seen her in 11 yrs. I had left my home country and have not gone back since then. Also I am not able to leave right now to attend the funeral, it is tearing me up so much.  I feel your pain and understand where you are in this.  As hard as it may seem we simply have to think of the good times in memory and how much joy she brought into our lives.  Life is never the same when your mother passes away, however you must go on.  Maybe you can do something together with family that will keep her memory alive.
530666
I know you love your fiance, but it's obvious his mother doesn't love you.  You're gonna have problems.  I'd tell you to beat her with an aluminum bat, but that wouldn't get you anywhere.  Tell your fiance exactly what you're telling us.  Don't try to avoid conflict, cuz it already exists, and will only get worse.  Have your fiance bring this up with his mother, and try to iron things out.  Is there a reason his mother chooses the other girl over you?  Does his mom even know the real you?  Who you are?  How much you love her son?  That bitch!
55517
I think you most definitely need to think about those kids.  So many people can give you so many different points of view but listen, when you bring babies into this world you need to watch out for them.  You boyfriend is extremely selfish due to whatever dysfunctional life he had growing up, that is very sad but now, he is a father and he should think about those babies and their mother.  I think you need to stay in Michigan, surrounded by your support system, and let him go. Specially if he gets irritated with your son. You also need to start taking care of you.  You are worth it, you need to think a little more on what is best for you so your kids can have a happy mommy. That is the greatest gift you can give those kids, by giving them a happy stable home
880510
To begin you need to get rid of your bf, if he loved you he would never hurt you in anyway (especially physically). You mentioned that he spits in your face, that is the lowest for of degradation, that further proves that he doesn't respect you sweetie. Get rid of him. You need to sit your Mother down and explain to her calmly what happened with your stepfather. If she chooses not to believe you then that is her being blind. A mother is supposed to protect her daughter. Listen there is a lot more to tell you. If you feel comfortable send me and instant message. I will respond and I will help you get through this. I hope to hear from you. BE SAFE!!!!!!!!!!! LUV YA BYE!
613201
My mother never liked my boyfriend and unfortunately I do not speak to her now and she doesn't know that I am married to that boyfriend. I'm not suggesting that this will happen to you but I think that you should be firm and stick by your husband because your mother has to stop dictating your life when you reach a certain age.\nMothers always believe that they know best but I am very happy - my mother was proved wrong so you should have faith in your own feelings.
779892
You both sound very much in love. How about asking him to move and buying/renting his mom a place close by, that way you'll be in your comfort zone and able to deal with her from a distance; and enable him to move? I think you're going to have to accept the fact that he'll never want his mom out of his life...as annoying as it is; the package comes with it.
922030
Please go to your church, even if you are not a member and talk to the pastor, priest whatever.\nYou need some spiritual guidance and you need to have your bruised soul and spirit healed. \nI think if you hang around with someone with a questionable past, you can get drawn down into his stuff... You are better off without a boyfriend at this point in your life.\nIf your mother wants you gone, I wonder what happened to bring her to this point. Mothers defend their children to the death in most cases. What has happened?????\nIf you are at a  point of trying suicide, it tells me you are looking for attention and recognition that you are not getting . There is a sibling rivalry between you and your sister... that is a total other thing that needs to be worked on.\nMY concern would be to get my mental health back to normal. You need help from people who will ask nothing of you other than your faith. It doesn't cost anything to reach out ,even if you are not a religious person, it doesn't matter. Your life is far too important to throw away and so are you. Whether you or your mom get along is not the problem at hand.\nIf she wants you out, you need to go to social assistance and get a place for you to stay..If you are under 16 you are a minor, perhaps a foster family could take you or an aunt. Someone who is strong, and can handle what is going on with you in your life and someone who won't take any guff from you.... You need love and support and you need to get real. Step up and begin your transformation, there is so much for you to do in your life, take hold and take the first step by getting help.....Poetry is a wonderful way to express your feelings, but in this case you need a good person to talk to ....