Can't decide whether to continue dating or settle down. Single mom and don't have the time?
539412
Then keep "dating." But you should keep records to see at what age the invitations begin to slow down, kind of like listening to the microwave popcorn bag. At that point, marry the first decent guy who is crazy about you.
661337
maybe its your job----kids--- stress.... i think i go down that road from time 2 time.... then---- its 1-1/2 hrs the next nite... try someting new... maybe a date with him...hope this helped u
283848
I myself am now just getting my divorce finalized at the end of the month. The amount of time varies with how comfortable you feel about seeing another person. It takes some time to get adjusted to the "single life". I have to agree that you don't want to introduce your children to someone that isn't serious. It's bad enough you had your heart broken by someone but you don't want your kids to go thru that over and over. It doesn't make you look good as a parent and your kids will grow up seeing you differently. Bottom line is there is no set time limit. It's all on how and when you feel yourself when you are ready.
902044
sounds like your in a pickle...i am 26,man that looks old, but anyways, listen.i got the same thing from my girl, about a few weeks ago. not the fact of moving cause of school or anything(we have been 2 gether for 6-7 years and have a 4yr old son). she just came to me with the fact that she thought we need time,i never saw it coming and all that, yeah..it sucks.when your in love and when they come to you with this crap, your kinda like...what?when?how?why?me? i got like you. thisterrible sinking feeling inside.thats when you really know that you care,but what hurts the most is when they are like?oh?i hurt you?\nBUDDY, i hope your young.you have no children? so go on with your life.its gonna be ahrd, i mean you put in the effort, 5 years of your life and now this. it will take some time getting over this, but hey. im sure you have a mom, or family or friends you can lean on at this time. it will just take time, besides...there are soooooo many beautiful women out there. i was at the point to where iwas like i didnt care about those other women, but get this...they do care. they are out there looking just like you will have to.some will come to you,and some you will have to suck it up and go for.everyone gets rejected here nd there*trust me it sucks) but movw to the next. if you dont want to get hurt all over again, then dont get too involved. whats the best part about this? you will meet so many intresting people and get to do new things. yeah she might be in austin having a blast with out you. you will just have to accept this, get over it and have blast yourelf. if your here and shes there, it will make it easier,but when she comes back...or is ever alone at school and the memories come back to her, she will reliaze that she had something special. not every man is gonna treat her like you did..some may be better, most will be worse(most guys in collage are NOT looking for relationships ya know?) and she will, or try to reach you again to see how you are. hopefully youve moved on, got a black book packed with girlfriends, that are friends, some even more, thats when its sweet..when she comes back trying to be a apart of your life again...you might take her back...you might reliaze, you have moved on and shes just another face in the crowd, she didnt care about your feelings then...you could blow her off, you could give it a shot all over agian. i know its not easy.in fact me and my girl are still together after i found out how she felt. we are not married..so its no promise that it will work, all i know is that i have son with this woman, and i love him-if it works with her,great if not...i ahve him, and thats all i will ever need, me,him,god-you will understand once you have a kid, it is amazing\nwell good luck pal,keep your head up..if it help..go beat the shit out of a door, or punching bag, a little stress relief, or go have a drink this weekend at aclub or bar, and enjoy the view, the eye candy..the ladies!who knows, someone might be looking for a someone like you.
651999
I had a relationship that lasted 2 1/2 years in which the guy I was seeing (and was supposed to marry) had a four year old son when I began dating him. The mother had abandoned them both a year earlier. I raised the child as my son - he even called me Mommy. His father worked two jobs for a while, so during that time, I was actually more like a single parent to his son - I did all the baths, all the homework, all the cooking, all the quality time, all the bedtime stories and all the discipline. I loved that child like he was my own, and I still love him. \n\nThe relationship went south, and I stayed because of the child for a long time. The mother eventually got custody of him (MESSED UP!), and took him halfway across the country. I didn't have a problem with him seeing his mother and knowing his mother, in fact, I WANTED him to see and know her, but I also felt that he was my son in my heart. When we had to tell him that the judge said that he had to go and live with his mother, he said, "But your my mommy, too, so that means I can still live with you!" Heartbreaking.\n\nI couldn't see him anymore, I couldn't protect him anymore, I couldn't be there for him anymore, because I had no right to legally. That was the absolute worst thing I've ever had to go through as a result of a relationship - and the relationship itself was pretty darn bad. \n\nAs a result, I won't get involved with a man that already has kids anymore. I am too scared to love a child if all the rights I have to that child are in someone else's hands. That may be irrational, but it's too much of a risk for me. Been there, done that.
1146049
You're joking, right? You are definitely not asking too much for your man to spend the little free time you both have without the kids together. Are you set on going out or could you perhaps "ramp" him into spending time together starting with an intimate evening at home? Next time you can remind him you two stayed in for him last time so it's his turn to accommodate your wishes.
1062748
Serious question here, and lots of things to consider.  Let's see if we can sort through all this.\n\nFirst of all, you say you've been together for seven months.  I wonder how old you and he are.  The red flag that jumped out at me is that you are both still living at home.  These days, I know that can mean anything from 19-29.  But if you don't have a steady job (preferably a career and a vocation), if you don't have your own transportation, and if you don't have financial independence, marrying is not a good idea.  He also needs to have a steady job, a vehicle and financial independence.  \n\nThat you are having second thoughts is a good thing.  He sounds like he still has a ways to grow up if he's still trying to leave home.  You sound like you have a way to go yet toward financial independence if you are living at home too.  When you say that you want to have little flings and talk to other guys, though, this tells me you are not ready for marriage because your heart is not truly in it.  You need to keep dating and work on your education, your job skills and your life management skills.  All these things are coming along, but don't sound quite developed enough yet.\n\nAlso, you should never have to pressure someone to marry.  A marriage proposal should come out of the blue with no pressure at all.  That someone feels the need to pressure someone else says that there is a power struggle going on, and that's a very unhealthy way to start married life.  \n\nThere is such a word as divorce, because there are many, many "starter marriages".  No matter your religion or personal beliefs, 50% of marriages in the United States end in divorce.  And divorce is a hard but positive thing ultimately, because there is no point living miserably.  Divorce is hard to go through, but people survive it, and go on to thrive afterward.  Sometimes, even with the best of intentions, things just don't work out like we plan.  People grow apart, want different things, change and life throws us curveballs to boot.  \n\nEnjoy your single life for a while longer yet.  You may want to keep seeing your boyfriend, or you may want to re-evaluate the relationship and see if you want to stay with him or move on.  Don't be afraid to move on.  Be more afraid of getting into a rut or becoming too fearful that you'll never find someone else.  Nonsense!  With six BILLION people in the world, no worries about finding someone to date and/or marry ultimately.\n\nGood luck with this.  Cheers, K
315235
From what you are saying, it sounds like you may be all ready for a relationship, but he is not.\n\nThough, honestly, if you already have children with the guy and yet he is still not "ready" for a commitment - then you probably need to get rid of him. He is not for you. If he does not have the maturity to take responsibility in his life to care for his lady and his kids by at least becoming a legal husband and parent, then there is most likely some serious issue he needs to get over.\n\nI would recommend seeing a counseling psychologist, believe it or not. They really can help in these kinds of situations and will be able to offer some excellent, customised-for-you-and-him advice. That is probably the best route, if you cannot get anything out of him by sitting down and talking, seriously, directly with him. He needs to understand that not only do you want to be married, that you also feel that it is right to get married.\n\nSaying it's "too expensive" is a total cop-out, no questions about it. If two people really wished to (and, hey, when I marry I plan to do something along these lines), they could have a tiny wedding, and cut to the chase right away. "You want to get married? Yeah? Okay then. You're married." Not difficult at all.\n\nAnyway, you need to talk to him about this, and if that does not get you anywhere, try speaking with a personal counselor. I loathe to sound cold, but you may be with a guy who just does not deserve your time and patience.
809324
Why do you have to choose?  Your a single guy who is looking for fun.  Be honest with what you want and if they can't respect that you don't want to be settled down, then why even bother with any of them.  If you are more happy being free then what do you have to loose?
587034
To most guys being a single mom means you put out.... Also it means that you are sort of desperate and that you will do "what it takes" to bag yourself a guy... I am just being honest here... of course you are a human being with dignity and respect... but many guys won't look at you like that... \n\nSO my advice is:\n\nDating is fine, but beware of CREEPS... especially Internet creepy dudes trolling around for women that they think they can take advantage of...
256475
Sounds like you waited too long already.  If he isn't married or involved with someone he is still someone with little time to give you--or he would be with you now.  He doesn't sound worth another second to me.
665989
You sound perfect - whats wrong you cant find a responsible single Dad in you area that wants the same - Im a single Dad and all the women I find want me to marry them right away and they all have asked to move in - thats why im not seeing anyone cause the moving in thing starts a fight no matter what. I just want my free time to spend with my kids
1116461
Sounds to me like you are thinking right, atleast you recognize that you are indeed his "yo-yo". Honey, I hate to say this but you have GOT to move on. Show him you are noone's yo-yo and get the heck outta this relationship. Who does he think he is? You are too special and important to be treated this way. There's someone out there who will love you and treat you just the way you deserve, like a princess. I have been where you are and I'm 28 now. I've had my share of long relationships and trying to force them to work and basically living in denial. I have finally found my soul mate and I love him so very much! and he is SO good to me. He's everything I have ever dreamed of since I was little, he's my best friend! You stop wasting your time on this guy (I know it's not that easy, 3 years is a long time). But you do need to get out of this now. Show him that you are not going to sit around and always be there waiting for him. Quit making this easy for him! You can do it! So get out there and get happy, life is too short to live this way. Can you really see yourself living the rest of your life this way? What about when you have children? He isn't going to change. Move on sweetie!
550335
Hey you better get a job and pick up your game. A woman needs attention and be reminded that she is worth buying things for. And how can she feel like ahe has a man when he dont have a job, a woman always think about her future. I left my x bf because is was slow and didn't have a job and a better guy came along after a while we fell in love. He always gave me lil tings even though the were not expensive it showed how much he thought about me and that made a difference . Now we are married for 1 !/2 years with kids and a lovely home. Think about it and good luck.
983526
Look around.  You shouldn't have to put your life on hold just because he needs to get his in order.  If you are meant to be you will reconnect.  You're a free woman...get out and date!
662708
I dont automatically walk away.  I want to have a family of my own, but I dont mind 'jump starting' one.  I know I am not alone when I say this though, the hard thing for you will be the way you handle your child with me.  Single moms that introduce me to the child on the 1st date will not get a call back from me.  I dont need to be 'just another dude my mom is with' in the child's eyes.  However, if we wait till things work out with us, then it fine to introduce the child.  Be honest about your children through dont try to surprise a guy with it 6 months into the relationship.  Single moms are great too because they dont get to go out as much and are usually much more appreciative of the romantic dinner out.  Good luck...and hang in there...the right guy is out there for you I can feel it :)
430948
Maybe you are afraid of commitment or maybe you just don't know yourself.  I suggest you take a break from dating and do some soul searching---how do I know because I am doing it right now--I have been so dependent on having someone there for me.  You need to start making yourself happy first (I am on a quest to do so as we speak).