Do you know anyone who actually had to confront bullies at church ?
542451
If a person has to contend with bullies at church, then it wasn't a Christian church.\n\nThat being said, there are no Christian churches.  Just a bunch of social clubs for phony Christians to impress each other at.
707696
I think there are a lot of Christians who have been taught to hate themselves and their God given sexual orientation, and it hurts not only them, but their families.  I pray constantly that God will free people from the bondage of lies that keep them closeted.  Someday, homphobia will seem as outdated as racism, and probably take twice as long to shake off.
104393
It depends, I had a teacher in Fifth grade, I was gonna say acted like a Drill Sergant, but in reality he was much worse.  He would throw books, flip desks, and I even saw him slam a classmate into a wall after school.  Granted I was a problem child and so was the other but if they would have had a camera in that classroom I am sure he would not have been teaching.  In any case he left bystanders in fear.\n\nIn High School I found more of a group mentality, where they behaved like dogs.  Typically it was not the biggest, toughest kids starting fights or picking on people, what I found is the little rats that hang out with the big dog are the problem.  They picked on me because I was usually walking home alone 2 hours or so after school ended because I had a problem with authority.  I made an easy target for 12 or more kids hanging out, the little one would make stupid comments, after ignoring the comments they got physical and started pushing, I continued to ignore for while.  Soon they gathered around, making it clear that I was not going forward without confrontation, what they really wanted was humiliation, not that it isn't humiliating enough stay after school everyday after being kept in the office on suspension, yes everyday.\n\nA couple of them grabbed me and held my arms while one of the smaller one decided he was going to start punching.  Not quite sure what I did to this day that they hated me like that.  After 4 or 5 punches I wriggled my right arm loose grabbed my direct assaulter and head butted him, this was when the big guy stepped in.  He punched me a couple times upside my head, I was hurt pretty bad, so I started attacking eveything and everyone around me.  It was right then that a car load of High School Seniors went by, I didn't know them but they ran up in the middle of everything and stopped the fight.  They told the group that if they wanted to beat me up that they were gonna have to do it one at a time and they were gonna watch to make sure no one else got involved.  After that the bullies had no interest in fighting me, in fact a few years later after I dropped out, I would have been a senior.  I saw a number of the bullies outside of a football game, and one of them made a comment again, I thought for sure that I was going to have to fight someone.  Then low and behold out of the back of the crowd it was the big dog saying you don't wanna mess with him he's Looney Tooney.\n\nSo not always.
554568
Hi bellbree,\n\n I was walking to the corner market for a loaf of bread when I had to pass by a neighborhood church. I was somewhat acquainted with the structure as it was always mentioned in the newspaper's community section. Known as "The loft," folks would gather there on Thursday evenings for poetry readings. \nHowever, this day happened to be a Saturday afternoon and a pair of gentlemen greeted me as I walked by. They invited me inside to sample an hour of their presentation. Ok, I went inside and found myself to be a prospective new recruit for their brand of religion. \n\nMost of the pews were filled with hooded monks chanting a haunting rhythm. There were others who like me, were wearing their regular denims. The service began like most other church-goers would be familiar with. A grand master of ceremonies led the group through some songs and gave a sermon. Near the end of the hour it was time for their ritual of "laying on of the hands." Some of the parishioners would come forward and ask for prayers for their ailments or for a sick grand mum who fell down in the tub. All the hooded dudes whose faces could not readily be seen would all place a hand on the person and their combined energies were presumed to have a strength and expedite a solution to the problem. \n\nOK now, there was another new guy in the pews who was watching eagerly. I recognized Mark W. Reinhold from the wanted poster at the post office. When he saw a chance, he approached the ring of conspirators and described how he was never able to settle down. The hooded goons closed in upon him, all to make a physical connection. The master of ceremonies began a prayer, a dogmatic mix of logic and pure hocus-pocus. I immediately saw the effects as the tension went out of Mark's body. When the beseeching was near an end, the master asked, "Are the brothers ready?" \n\nA suspenseful few moments passed until he almost shouted, "NOW!" \n\nOn that cue, the brothers began to pummel their hapless victim. Continually delivering blows over head and to the solar plexus until Mark was down on the floor getting stomped. After another minute, the grand Pooh-Bah decided the treatment administered was sufficient to induce a relaxing calm that would assuage the nervousness in Mark for a long, long time. \n\nI can't say for certain that Mark W. Reinhold was apprehended and locked up because, I had a loaf of bread to buy and some other errands to do that day. I hope for you bellbree, that you find a sense of closure to this bad episode of life. \n\n-Bryce
737576
Yes, when I was young, it hurts a lot to see your folks hurting each other. Hope things get better for you.\n\nDo you have any one you trust who might be able to help?\nAre you part of a youth group? If you aren't maybe you can find a youth group to go to. Most youth pastors are good to talk problems over with.\n\nOr maybe a councilor at school can offer some suggestions.
731769
I think that we all struggle in our faith one way or another. Questioning God's existence doesn't really cross most of our minds. We may question why He allows things to happen or we may even question our own Christian walk and our relationship with God. My pastors -and I've had a few in my life -haven't been perfect. In fact there was one who was my Dad's boss that treated his underlings shabbily and used the church vehicle for personal business. I think he may've even taken some of the better donations given to the church for his own. I do know that he was eventually caught by his bosses with his hand in the cookie jar and in adultery. He was speedily fired. As for weird things in a worship service? I recall visiting a Charismatic service to see what it was like. I met one of those pastors who held rather rambunctious healing services. You know the type.; they call you forward for healing even though you haven't volunteered or asked for it. He claimed -a few times- to be given a word of knowledge about some type of secret sin in some person's life. I found this made me extremely uncomfortable because I do not believe that God would humiliate an individual in this manner. Nor do I think that Jesus would compel anyone to come for healing. God is a Gentleman, and He never forces Himself on anybody. Neither should His servants
874523
I've dated a rapist, a player, and a youth pastor that preys on young girls(before I even knew that these guys were)\n\nYou call them jerks?  I'd say so.  By the way I didn't technically date the youth pastor...long complicated story and the rapist is in jail because I put him in there haha!
389816
When I was 14 I saw a kid beating up a chubby kid.  His friends were laughing at the chubby kid(big boned  lol)and they were hitting him.  All of these kids were skinny.  So I just couldnt take it anymore and started to seperate them.  I pushed the other kids off of him and started to swing some punches but they ran.  The kid that was getting bullied thanked me and said they always beat me up.  I felt so angry at those kids.  3 months later I saw the chubby kid again and he said that those skinny kids never hit him or talk to him anymore.\n\nI felt so happy :)  I felt GOOD inside and I still feel good!\n\nEDIT: Oh sorry I didnt see  "cultural" in your post.  But this story still kinda relates to this. I guess....
302861
I've known two people who've managed to drive them away never to return without being rude.  one was an ancient history grad student who could quote original documents from the time of christ. the other was an arch catholic who tried to convert them as hard as they tried to convert her!  when they hauled out the watchtower, she hauled out the catholic enquirer.  it was hilarious to watch.\n\nme, personally, I tell them about my religious beliefs (I believe in God, not religion).  this generally confuses them to the point they wander away looking pained.
768466
Yes, lots of them... My friend the supposed Preacher to be would go to porn shops and gay bars when he thought no one was looking.\n\n He ended up killing himself because of the guilt of being gay.. that was disappointing as I would have liked him gay or not.\n\n Alex
585265
Sure!\n\nI sing, participate in Bible study classes and ladies' classes.  I send out a daily e-mail to our congregation.\n\nI think it's sad when people think that just because they aren't leading, that they aren't contributing.  Anyone can (and I believe, should) participate.\n\nI listen attentively.  I've heard preachers say that it's so discouraging when people don't make eye-contact with them while they're preaching.  Apparently someone in a congregation I once attended was doing homework during the sermon.  :o(\n\nMany of us meet outside of services as well.  We need to be active and participate in each others' lives and encourage each other.
438991
When I was a child, my parents partied wildly and fought each other with venom and hatred.  I heard the gospel from my grandmother.  Anyway, when I was about eight years old my five year old sister came to me one night and asked her big brother what she should do about Daddy.  I learned that night that Dad was molesting her.  This was a complicated issue for a five, eight, or fifty-eight year old to deal with.  I told her I didn't know and that I would think about it and get back to her.  My dilemma was that if I told Mom, Mom would use this in her war against Dad.  If I confronted Dad I was sure that he would just reject me for it or at the very least just deny and shuffle me on to other things.\n\nWhat I didn't decide to do was deal with it, basically I sold out my sister for a relationship with a broken Daddy.  At this time the weight of the world settled on my little shoulders.  I had no understanding at the time of my guilt and the weight of my non-action on my sister's behalf.  Three years later we were living in a little town and we kids got involved in a neighborhood church for the cookies and punch in Sunday School.  Some ladies talked Mom into going to church and so it happened the summer of the next year when an evangelical group came to our church to run a crusade.  There was great music and powerful evangelistic messages and one night in the two weeks this went on, I felt God calling me.  I'd listened to the preacher/evangelist and was considering his message but it was God who'd moved in my heart.  I was no longer a child with childish concerns, but the harder issues were upon my mind.  I still didn't have any understanding of my guilt about my sister, but when I went forward, once I'd made the decision to step out, I felt light as a feather, as though walking a foot off the ground.  The release of guilt was so freeing, I was in tears and didn't know why.\n\nIt wasn't until twenty years later that I went over those memories with an adult understanding and realized what my poor sister had had to deal with all by herself that I realized where all that guilt had come from.  We discussed these events and are quite close today, but the years in between were more distant between us.  I know God is real from many other experiences but this was what brought me to faith.
271272
Yes, there was one once.   At a church I visited.  Talk about scary.  I thought his head was going to spin around in a complete circle and he was going to start spewing.  *shudders at the memory*
279693
By my fellow classmates, yeah. Never by teachers.\n\n\nWith the classmate issue... by ninth grade I realized that if I didn't stand up for myself, highschool would be four miserable years of memories... and that I'd be a "victim" for the rest of my life, never standing up for myself.  I finally "stood up" to (Threatend is more like it - I'm ashamed to say) the main instigator of my misery and was never mistreated again.  In fact my friend base by, the time of graduation, was quite large.\n\nNaturally, this taught me that it's okay to stand up for myself.... and that people only mistreat me because I LET them.  And I NEVER tolerate abuse (physical, verbal) from people around me, either toward me or toward others.\n\nI'm not sure if this is what you were looking for.  Hope it helped.
518943
Sadly, I had this problem with my husband too.  We sat down with the elders of our church after he threw a glass at me that bruise all the toes on my left foot.  The very nicely explained to him a series of important scriptures on how he can learn to value me. \n\nBut also after it happened, my dad gave me some great advice, so simple, but it really worked.  OVer the phone (my husband travels for a living) I told him that some members of the congregation were aware of what was going on, and he explained that he wished I hadn't told people, and I told him that I hadn't, (my sister and husband also live with us, so it's not like there aren't witnesses) but just that they were made aware of it.  (If other people find out about it, they get embarrassed, like the rest of the time they're in denial, but when others find out about it, they can't pretend it didn't happen.) I told him that from now on, WE weren't going to hang up the phone on each other, WE weren't going to be throwing things at each other, WE weren't going to be saying "I'm going to leave you!", WE just weren't going to do any of that.  Mind you, I've never done any of that to him, but it sounds better to say "We" than 'you you you'.  His response was, "it's going to take some time" and I said, "no it's not.  Right now, that's when we're starting.  We don't need any extra time, it's already been three + years of this, and we're just going to start from right now." I think he was surprised.  My tone wasn't angry or yelling, it was just straightforward.  He hasn't thrown anything at me since, and he still gets irritated, but that's natural.  Throwing things and cussing me out is not.  \n\nIf your husband has any kind of spiritual nature, I encourage you both to sit down and read this scriptures together, which have really helped us.  What it boils down to, is that usually a husband doesn't respect himself, and since you are his 'one flesh' and 'complement', if he doesn't respect himself or is insecure, he may not respect you as well.  I try to build my honey up whenever I can and tell him how great he is at this or that and that there's no reason for him to be insecure.  (by the way, the cup-throwing incident was because I fed the cat a piece of shrimp on the couch, which you would think a cat would gobble up, but not my cat, he sat there licking it. Hubby wasn't happy at all, I admitted it was dumb and I wouldn't do it again, but he got so upset, he actually hurt me, so I understand the 'small things' that should never make them that upset. The real truth is that there are underlying issues, not just the shrimp.)\n\nEph 4:26 Be wrathful, and yet do not sin; let the sun not set with YOU in a provoked state, 27 neither allow place for the Devil. 29 Let a rotten saying not proceed out of YOUR mouth, but whatever saying is good for building up as the need may be.\n\n(In other words, a person is going to be wrathful at times, but the point is not to sin or get to a provoked state without resolving it, to do so leaves open a place for the 'Devil' to disrupt your family, possibly leading to divorce. (Satan likes divorce, since it breaks up God's divine arrangement of marriage. We certainly don't want to leave a place open for him in our families.)\n\n\nEph 4:31 Let all malicious bitterness and anger and wrath and screaming and abusive speech be taken away from YOU along with all badness. 32 But become kind to one another, tenderly compassionate, freely forgiving one another just as God also by Christ freely forgave YOU.\n\n(Basically, God forgives us for the many things we do, surely we should forgive each other for the minor things.)\n\nEph 5:28 In this way husbands ought to be loving their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself, 29 for no man ever
209967
People will do and say anything to provoke others and it is best to express forgiveness and I hope you can forgive that person but as for me I do have a difficult time forgiving others for their trespasses against me especially when there are things in my past that has left me emotionally scarred to where I express distrust and resentment towards others mixed with a short temper and I do admit that this does hinder my personal relationship with the lord and I would ask that you would remember me in your prayers since it is likely that I'm about to get kicked off of this forum of which I don't care if I do get the boot.\nThey can kick the lord out of this forum but they can't kick the lord out of me.
1041243
Touchy subject ... some people crying in church just want to be left alone. I once saw a woman crying in church right after her daughter was killed in a wreck. She was there alone and wasn't a regular member. Apparently, no one else in her family wanted to be there, but she felt that it was the place for her to be. I just got up and walked over to her, sat down beside her, and held her hand. She did the rest. She didn't pull away, in fact, she pulled me closer and just started sobbing. I was her daughter's age so I guess she felt a connection, even though she didn't really know me. I just put my arm around her and let her cry. \n\nBut usually if I see people crying "silently", I'll just let them be.