iam having problems dealing with a breakup i really do need help it hurt me so bad how can this happen?
551249
Breakups happen and its usually for the better when they do.  That's hard to see sometimes when you're the one involved in the breakup but try to take a step back and look at what led to the break up.  Was it really a surprise to you or should you have seen it coming?  \n\nTake the pain you feel for what it is, an indication that you are human and capable of emotion.  You are alive, you are real, so yes, it hurts.  But it will get better.  \n\nNow is the time to rely on friends and family to help you through.  Talk to them but most of all LISTEN to them too.  You will hear things about yourself or your past relationship that you may not like but this is a time to learn.  Just like you learn not to stick your hand on a hot pan because it hurts, you will learn how not to involve yourself in a relationship that is guaranteed to end painfully.  That doesn't mean you won't ever get burned again but you will be prepared in your own mind for what ever happens.  \n\nMost importantly, if you are considering hurting yourself because of the pain of your breakup, call a crisis hotline immediately, talk to your Parents immediately, get yourself help immediately.  No relationship should ever cause you to want to hurt yourself.
61715
just think of the future,not the past.the past really doesnt matter if there is/was pain.always look ahead and never look back.to get over an ex just try not to think and talk about him.think about who can be your next stop.
213767
Love hurts! Even in the best relationships things go wrong, and it hurts.  You can't avoid the pain love can bring but always remember what doesn't kill you can always make you stronger.  Keep that in mind ;)
1169665
When people break up it is hard not to think about each other and many things bring up memories.  It takes time to get over someone. You will know though when you hear your favorite song and you are ok listening to it without crying.  Sometimes it is hard to let go of something that we can't have.  So what you have to do is take one day at a time, smile, be confident and know that you are better than crying over him and then when your knight in shining armour comes along he will sweep you off your feet and you will wonder why you ever cried a tear.
123466
To be honest, there is always a risk of getting hurt again. Life is about taking chances.  I am in the same boat as you are. I just got out of a relationship and giving myself time to heal and you need to do that as well. \n\nWhile you are recovering, work on yourself and visualize what do you want in your next relationship and learn the lessons from your recent relationship. You will be fine.
762749
Just b/c your the one who broke things off doesn't make it any less painful for you.  You are still going to go through the "missing him" part...  Just make sure you don't go back and forth on your decision and get back together with him.  Stick to your guns.  You made your decision, now stick with it.
1146509
You will not find an easy answer here. I can't even begin to understand all the hurt you must feel, but you can make it through this. You need close friends to lean on and a lot of time to heal. You need to be able to express whatever you feel openly -- maybe even go see a counseler. It sounds like you've been through a lot and my heart goes out to you. Be strong, but don't bottle up your feelings. You will be okay.
594314
wow, must be pretty rough. i mean, no one expects you to get over it. look, i had a friend and the same thing happened to her and im gonna give you the same advice i gave her. some might say that you should take up counseling or go to a group meeting, but the sad part is that those meetings dont focus on just you and yourproblem. you have to find someone who you trust and love, usually a mom, sister, or aunt, and tell that person about what happened to you, and who did it. the guy who did this to you obviously isnt very considerate. just open up to a loved one and let them know whats going on. im sure it will help and they will be able to focus on your problem and not everyone elses.
935564
get some serious help....you cant go through life like this, this is very sad im sorry you have to endure this. Please get some help, love is a wonderful thing and for you not to be able to experience it is so sad
160815
Those really bad breakups tend to cripple us all to some degree.  Unfortunately there is no set amount of time that you can wait and then you are magically ready to move on.  The key is that while you are struggling to get over the bad breakup that you are doing things in your life to make it a life that you want to live and can love.  One day you will suddenly realize that your life is wonderful and that the bad break up is now a think in your past and nothing more.  As for who would be right for you, simply don't settle for anyone less than what you really want.  The right person will love you for who you are and make you feel special and they will be an addition to your already wonderful life and not someone who pulls you down and interferes with what you've created.  It will be someone you can give your heart to fully without fear and the will do the same for you.
588612
you've gotta understand that girls are up and down all the time, it's hormones, and seriously, there is NOTHING that we can do about it. Try to have compassion, I once had to break up with a guy, even though I still loved him, because of ... circumstances. Anyway, try to keep a level head (difficult I know) and not to wallow (even more difficult!). I just want to give you a hug and tell you that it's gonna be ok, just hang in there and most importantly: pray, most people think that today God never answers, he does. I'm living proof. He's helped me get through so much, he'll help you too.
1009582
Ok, look, I know this is hard. I mean, it sounds like you're truly suffering. BUT, it is true what they say, "Time heals all wounds." Give it time.\n\nBut, for immediate help. Try this.\n\nNO CONTACT FOR 30 DAYS. Do not call him. Do not write him. Do not email him. Do not drive by his place. Do not talk to his friends or relatives. Do not make any sort of contact with him for a FULL 30 DAYS.\n\nTrust me. This is what I do when I go through a break up. The 30 days is a goal. Once you make it through those 30 days you feel like you've made some sort of progress. It works.\n\nAs for the general heart ache and pain. You just have to go through it. Life hurts sometimes. We all have pain.\n\nGood luck.\n\nOh and before you do the 30 days thing, you might mention it to him. Hopefully he'll understand. If you guys both stick to it it'll be easier on both parties.\n\nSplooch!
552377
spend time with your friends, go out and enjoy yourself. before you know it you'll be having the time of your life and not thinking about the person who broke your heart, look after you and all will get better. promise!
200792
becuz UR LOVE WAS TRUE AND UR STILL IN SHOCK ABOUT WHY THINGS DIDNT WORK OUT. U CANT BELIEVE THAT THIS DIDNT END IN A FAIRY -TALE LIKE MANNER...THE WAY U EXPECTED....u still care abt him ...and maybe the truth is too hurtful and u cant let go.....just try to relax...get involved in activities outside ur home...go out with friends...share ur problems...sharing is the best thing to do at this point.... it will help u reach CLOSURE.......BEST OF LUCK!
406428
Just take things one day at a time, and remember that if you were meant to be with him, you will be eventually.  Take some time to mourn the loss of the relationship; give yourself an hour or two on days that you feel you need it, to turn on sad music, look at old pictures, and cry.  Then drop it, and do something for yourself.  I've had times when I thought the world was ending because of the end of a relationship.  I didn't know how I'd make it.  Eventually after going through this a few times, I realized that I can recover from anything.  So can you.
1015084
It is difficult I know.  Been there and done that and its not much fun.  You just have to be patient.  Find someone else to share some time with. Someone out there is worthy of your love and efforts.  Time heals all wounds and this is going to take some time.  In the meantime while your wounds are healing, find a hobby, join a gym, or take a evening class, anything to get you out of your blues.  Mingle with others and find someone else that you like and before long it will be easier for you to think about her and not be upset.  It wont be easy, but you will be ok and you will be a stronger person in the long run from all of this.  Yes a closure would be a nice thing to have but some people dont like confrontations or goodbyes.  Dont beat yourself up over it.  Learn from it and consider it a chapter in your life and start working on a new chapter.  Good Luck!!  And yes, this is normal feelings when you get dumped or something doesnt seem to have ended as it is "suppose to".  Lots of unanswered questions still in your head, rehashing over and over.  Best thing to do is go on with your life and cherish the memories you had and concentrate on making new ones.  Old saying is "when one door closes, another one opens".  Dont be so into your sadness that you miss an opportunity.
1185608
I think you need to be honest with yourself and bring everything out in the open.There are reasons why you hurt so deeply,the only way to ever move past it is to go through it.The first thing you need to do is to know your worth,that yes things have happened in your life as they do us all some more than others.You have to take it as a learning experience it will only make you stronger in time,sometimes we can help others through our own trials,its not always easy you have to keep going though.Drinking and partying or any of these things you are doing its not healing your pain it wont its a bandaid.Get real ,loose the crutch,try to find positive people to surround yourself with,then you will see a positive outcome.If you really want things to change it will also help you to know that,God is always with you even when you are not with him,I hope that you can find the light to lead you out of such a dark place,I know its there I found it so can you,you just have to reach for it.May God keep watch after you.