How to deal your past relationship with other woman whom you loved her but you're a married man?
536149
It doesn't sound a very happy situation to be in.\n\nWhen you married, you made some promises to your wife. They were quite serious ones, and it was a permanent contract. What you think of that is your own affair. I have learned to try not to moralise about what others do because, when it comes down to it, I am no better myself.\n\nI think your first concern should be to write down all the options and find the way that will give all people concerned the most happiness (or the one that will cause the least hurt, if you prefer to look at the negative side of it). \n\nYou must also involve the others somehow. They are also people with as much right as you, if not more, to have feelings, to make a choice and to have a say in things. \n\nIf you are a very brave man, you would meet with everyone involved and discuss your problem with them honestly! A counsellor is useful as a mediator and 'chairman' in meetings like this.\n\nWhatever you do, however, you MUST be honest and open with yourself and everybody else and you MUST communicate. You certainly don't have the right to make decisions for other people, only yourself.\n\nIt's worth bearing in mind that our lovers, friends and acquaintances serve specific purposes in our lives. We tend to make friends - and keep them - for our specific needs. We   nearly all have 'giving' needs as well as 'taking' needs, so the relationships are mutually beneficial.\n\nLove does not always involve jumping into bed with someone (sex is one of our needs, of course, and should be shared with someone we love). I would look very carefully at what it is you feel for this other woman - and what you feel is lacking in your relationship with your wife.\n\nIt's a hard decision and may take a long time to resolve. As long as you think carefully before deciding what to do, consider others' happiness before your own and remember that one can love someone deeply and, perhaps desire them, yet still decide not to follow the whims of Little Willy.\n\nI wish you well.
25054
Back up the truck a bit. It may be useful when you first meet a girl to know what kind of past she has had. But at this stage of the game (you are already married to her!) it is immaterial and can only hurt you. Don't go there. Don't think about it. Don't ask her about it.
1081353
Bygones r bygones.\njust let thm go;let them not affect your present.U love her and u say she loves u more.How can she b cheating u whn u say, she confessed about the facts bfore she proposed to u. What really matters honey, is, did she cheat u after u guyz r together? It is difficult to forget the past but if u keep hangin with, it it will only spoil ur present.try to get out of it.U r hurtin urself and the ones who love u.
554351
You will *not* be able to get rid of the thoughts and memories of the other woman. Accept that they are there and that is nothing you can do about it. Don't beat yourself up about it. What you do have a choice about, however, is acting out on those thoughts.\n\nWhen the thoughts do come into your mind, stop and ask yourself what benefits having those thoughts will bring to you. The answer is none - a big zero.\n\nIn time, with prayer and focusing on your current woman (i.e., your wife), the thoughts will slowly recede. But they may never completely disappear, so don't expect them to.\n\nOh, and do NOT share this with your wife - do not make your burden her burden as well. However, you can share it with a trusted friend or advisor.
945268
sit down with your girl friend and explain that your ex wife has realized that she still has feelings for you although you do not have feelings for her any longer... explain that you do not want to cause your exwife any more pain than she has all ready caused herself... tell her that you would respect her feelings in the same situation... ask her to be patient for a while longer\n\nyour girl friend is probably still very unsure of herself in this relationship even though you co habitate... do your best to re assure her of your affections\n\nif this problem persists you might also try sitting down with your ex wife and explaining that your girl friend is not happy with the situation and ask her if she will consent to one meeting... for a few minutes only\n\nyou are being pulled in two different directions by the women in your life... you seem to be handling the situation well...  trying to be considerate of both women's feelings... in this case one of your ladies will have to give... or you will have to take matters into your own hands and force one of them to back down... but be very careful if you choose to do that... you may cause hard feelings in someone
216493
she met another man.  Plain and simple.  There is nothing you can do but move on.  Sorry baby...
134613
Tell him you are sorry and that you will never do that kind of a thing again. Never involve yourself with married people. Think about it this way. What if someone else interfered in you blissful marriage and spoilt it. Ask for her forgiveness and stay clear from such entanglements.
377506
What's done is done. You can't change the past, so don't dwell on it, you only waste your own time and energy. Take it as a leason in life to not expect soo much from other people. Deal with her as you have been before the incident, just be a bit more cautious.
946964
I totally understand your situation.  I met a WONDERFUL guy who I thought was my Mr. Right.  I told everyone I knew that I couldn't believe how lucky I was.  I put him on a pedestal, as everything he did lead me to believe he was perfect.  Later, information was divulged about his sexual past, which included multiple partners at once, different races, drunken one nighters, cheating, and barely over the legal age partners.  He was out to get it any way he could - true 'player' to the root.\n\nI was shocked, disgusted and appalled!  I was brought up very differently, and although he wasn't my first by far, I didn't do any of these shameful actions.  I began to see him very differently and it really affected our relationship.  I didn't want him to touch me, after knowing what he'd done, and also didn't think our sex life would ever measure up to his past free-for-alls.  Then the mistrust set in.  I felt hurt that I believed him to be one way, and then find out he was something altogether different.  I'd even make snide comments like 'yeah, you'd do that just like you 'did' everyone else' to hurt him like I was hurt.\n\nThen, one day I realized, that was all in his past, and how far he'd come from the days of debauchery, to being with me.  I'm the one who put him on the pedestal, not him.  Who the hell was I to judge his past - we've all got one.  Just because I find my past normal, maybe he'd think it appalling.  No one likes to hear that their lover shared moments of love and intimacy before them, no matter who they are.  It just plain hurts.  I realized that he was still the loving, caring man I'd met - that hadn't changed at all, and he still loved me just as much as he had before I found out.  It took a while, but I let my love for him overtake all the bad feelings I had, and began to love him again.  Don't let it get the best of you - let it go and see her for the beautiful, wonderful woman you married and not her past.\n\nBest of luck!
489722
get a new wife.  One that appreciates you for who you are.
479799
turn the question around, is is ok for a married man to keep an old girlfriend as a platonic friend.  answer honestly.  If it is not a problem for you or your loved one then more power to you.
236984
awww  how sweet ! I really feel for you ,but maybe she is your soul mate  but you are not hers! Start dating other  women. You might end up finding another woman to love.
246175
The grass isn't always greener on the other side. Maybe you need to examine your marriage and figure out why you would even consider ruining your marriage for something that happened in your past? \n\nOr if you feel that this person is really your "soul mate" then life's short live it happy, and if this is what is going to make you life happier and more fullifield then do what your head not your heart thinks is right.
695913
In this life you will meet many women and they will all be very different. \n\nYou will fall in love with a few and be hurt by a few and you may even hurt a few. All women are not the same and this one you are still in love with is not the one for you. \n\nYou will find a woman who will feel the same way as you and this woman will be forgotten. Take comfort in this and keep your eyes open for a better person.
771953
Move on bro, we all do eventually. If she was with another guy its hopeless don't torcher yourself over the past move on with your life and Cherish your memories.
1126313
Let me get this straight: you're married and you have a girlfriend? Ok. Got it. Well, if you valued marriage, then you wouldn't have violated it by having an affair. However, it's too late for that and now you're asking for your girlfriend to say 'I love you'? First of all, there's no point in getting her to say it if she doesn't love you. Second of all, get a divorce and then maybe she'll come to love you and be comfortable with saying it. Personally, I don't think you deserve to be with either woman. Your girlfriend is just as guilty as you are though because she knew you were married and yet still carried on. But that's just me.
691365
This is something that YOU should've dealt with before getting married.  While I don't think it's exactly wrong to still have feelings for someone, it's not right either.  Do you think it is fair to our husband? You should be focusing all your love on your husband, not saving some for some ex.  As I said, this is really something you should've dealt with before getting married.  (Just think about it:  How would you feel if your husband was harboring feelings for some other girl?!)\n\nMy advice to you:  Exes are exes for a reason.  Look back and think about why you broke up.  I'm sure there was a good reason that you are not with him and that you married someone else.  While it may occasionaly be okay to maybe wonder how they are doing, to "still care" for them isn't.  \n\nAs I said, think about why you broke up with your ex.  Then think about why you married your husband.  I'm sure you will see that you made a good decision, and maybe you can leaarn to let go of the past.