i am involved with a guy for 4 years and i met someone new i really like.my man is abusive what should i do?
543056
what the hell are you waiting for...to get married to him & find yourself in the hospital...\npack your bag & l e a v e...\nif this new guy is any bettter you'll know.
386969
both. he is emotionally abusive, and you don't need to put up with it.  find a friend or someone to stay with while you save money to get your own place. then if he changes, then keep your own place, and allow yourself to Maybe hang out at his place with him.  that way if he acts bad in any way you can leave and show him it's not a permitable activity
916720
Sweetie, just because he isn't physically abusing you doesn't mean he's not still abusing you.  He's traded in the fists for emotional abuse.  That's what he's doing when he tells you he hates you and other hurtful things.  You need to get out of that relationship as soon as you can.  get yourself into some counseling so you understand why you chose to be with an abuser, and move on.  I understand completely where you're coming from, I've been there.  Since I've gone to counseling and stuff, I've come to understand myself so much better.  You will, too.  When you do, it will help you choose a different type of guy.....one that won't abuse you.  I've finally found my Mr. Right, and you will, too.  You just need to get out of this relationship.  Email me if you want to talk some more.  I'm a good listener :)
815025
He is a control freak though he must be quite insecure for him to act this way.  Presumably you have confronted him with his demons and asked him why he acts the way he does towards you. And I would imagine that you have told him that you are not happy with how things are between you.  \n\nYou have allowed yourself to be manipulated for 6 years and have done nothing about it, so I presume you were head over heels with your boyfriend. It is so hard to see a person for what they really are when you have an all consuming passion for someone. However, thank goodness you have woken up to the fact that he taking over your life and not allowing you to be yourself.\n\nJust imagine how unhappy you would be if you decided to marry this man. Gradually his possessiveness will turn to violence believe me. Especially if you started a family as he would not be allow you to share your love with anyone else.\n\nYou are your own person with a job and independence, so use that you your advantage and start saving some money so that you do not have to be dependant on him. Can you go back to your folks until you get your life sorted out?. I am sure they will welcome you with open arms, until you have sorted your life out.\n\nPlease do not leave it until you have reached the point of no return and do not let him use the emotional blackmail bit by telling you he will kill himself if you leave him. Be strong for everyones sake and go now...that's if that is what you want and feel there is no way of salvaging this relationship.\n\nAll the best to you my dear. Ax
619098
oh you're not in an abusive relationship at all are you? he was you wrapped around his lil finger and you don't even realize it. wanna know where this is gonna go if you don't grow a back bone and leave him? you'll be dead in a ditch somewhere and it'll be his fault. if he loved you back he'd trust you enough to let you do your own s.hit without havin to make you call ever 5 f.uckin mins. you need to stop and pay attention to what your gut is tellin you bout this guy. i wouldn't be surprised if it's tellin you to leave and not look back
472843
You may need to call the police if he is threatening enough. And from what it sounds, it's getting worse and there needs to be something done, but I don't fully know the situation and don't want to be judgmental of which I don't know the whole story. However, I have seen the same stuff happen with great guys. If you don't want to go to the police, talk to someone who is very close to you, i.e. your mom, sister, brother, best friend, dad. You don't want someone who will overreact and actually try to handle it themselves though. He probably will have to get counseling and you will need it too. Although you don't have the problem, his problem affects you. And if your children have witnessed any abuse, whether it be verbal or physical, they may need counseling. Tell the person(s) you choose the whole story and let them give you advice on what you should do. And WHATEVER you do, Don't let pride get in the way of you talking to someone about it. Alot of times that is people's problem, they don't want everyone knowing they made a mistake. Everyone makes mistakes, and you just have to try to fix them or move on. Or you may need to divorce him, but I hope not b/c divorces are rough on the whole family. They know you and your husband alot better than I do, therefore will be able to tell you better what you need to do. I hope this helps and I hope you and your husband get this settled.
667384
this is an abusive relationship, you need to report him.
857018
Sometimes you don't know what you have until it is gone.  The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.  Now she is with someone abusive, and she my realize how good it was to be with someone that treated her better.\n\nI don't know if she wants to continue to be abused by the guy.  She may want to turn back the clock and be with you.  Saying she loves you and hoping you loved her too.  \n\nIf she isn't going to leave the guy, then you can tell her that you still love her and because you do, you can't stand to see her abused on a regular basis.  You need to distance yourself from her because you can't stand by and do nothing.\n\nIf she doesn't come back, then move on.  Think of the good times and look for someone else that can share your dream.
488785
Divorce him. Go to a women's shelter for battered women and get a lawyer to get you a divorce. Dont stay with an abusive man he will never change and may one day kill you.
219475
Slow down and take it easy..to soon for something that is serious enough that might lead to marriage. You just came out of one relationship that was abusive please don;t get caught in that web again...Lady
917320
Well, I think you should dump him, but be nice about it.  Just tell him you don't feel like he respected your choice in friends and that his constant complaining was bordering on abusive, so you've decided to end it.  There's plenty of guys out there, and who knows, maybe when he matures in another year or two, you guys can give it another shot (but make him WORK for it if he comes crawlin' back!).  Good luck girlfriend!
1114076
i don't think that there is anything that anyone on here can tell you that you don't already know.you aren't going to "leave him"untill you are ready to. and unfortunetly it may take something really hurtful for you to do it.\n       i was with an abussive man for a little over a year. i loved him to death though. when he wasn't hitting me, and verbally abusing me, kicking down my door, and cheating on me, he was very funny and "loving." he was and still is the only person who can really make me laugh, but he's also the only one who can really make me cry. i put up with a lot for that year or so, and people told me to leave him alone. even the police told me to leave him alone. but i couldn't. i loved him and i knew that he would  "change." \n        one day we were arguing and he hit me down to the floor and just began kicking me in the back and stomach. that's when i realized that he actually didn't love me. he just wanted to controle me. and he was able to do that by being "super sweet" so if i ever had a doubt, i could also think of something sweet that he had done( which of course meant that he loved me). by the end of that relationship, my body would literally shake at the sight of him. even to this day, a little over a year later, if i see him walking on the street i'm terrified.\n     i don't know, all i'm saying is we can't make your decisions for you. you have to look at your future... do you see it getting better? worse? staying the same? and figure out whether that is what you want for the rest of your life. i would have married that man, if he had asked me to, i loved him that much. but if i would have, my life would be a living hell.
1107865
Looks like you are screwed sweetie - if you are willing to stay, he's more than willing to abuse you forever...
755156
i think you just came out of an abusive relationship and you need some affection which this guy might be giving..lets not forget that this guy is perfect yes but he has a gf ...whether you think you want to pursue this relationship or not its best to let it go...he seems like he likes you but then he has a gf...honey he is confused as you are...just figure stuff out and be his friend for now and you need time after a breakup to regain your independence...now if he breaks up with her and you found yourself feeling great and you feel good then you might want to see if you want to pursue this but for now just chill take a load find yourself and regain your composure ...take it one day at a time no need to rush into something that might be complicated for you at this point in your life....
177020
Why would u stay with someone that beats u? For 3 years? Get out and get a restraining order, it will be hard but in the long run it will make you stronger and you will be much happier and safe.
1173220
this guy sounds like a lot of trouble, you have only been seeing him for four months and all these problems have problems have been hapening, you should be on your honeymoon stage but instead you have problems, maybe you should leave this guy and leave all thses problems. why stick with him whne he accuses you of drama, you dont need that , you need a guy to be there for you when you need him not when he needs you to bail him out of his problems.
565484
The first thing you need to realize is that it's never going to get any better.He's not going to wake up some day and be the man of your dreams, in fact its only going to get worse.I know I've been there.But sometimes loving someone is just not enough.You are never going to be able to change him.You deserve someone who treats you with love and respect.And think about the future. if you stay with him and end up having kids How is he going to treat them if he has no problem hitting you?