I've been divorced for over a year now.  I don't think about dating that much...?
549972
I have been divorced for a bit over a year myself.  I wasn't interested in dating anyone until about a month ago.\nI honestly don't have the time, strenght and courage to be just flirting around anymore.\n\nI don't think there's anything wrong with you, everyone has different ways to overcome things. Sex for sex becomes less atractive once you've been married, or so I have observed.  Company is more important and the idea of being understood and heard is more exciting than just a "date".\n\nI allowed myself to open up (I don't think I was ready though) but it felt good to be romanced and flirty again. It brought me back to the world of the "living" for a little bit.  \n\nAt the end, it's a personal choice.  Do whatever feels good to you.  Eventually Mr. Right will show up (or not...).
748148
I divorced somebody like you lolol....good luck in your life
126676
You will know when you are ready and you may think you are not ready but if I was you I would give myself a little push and start dating again.. trust me meeting new people and getting out really does make you feel better. Life is too short have fun while you can.
820856
I don't want to be critical, but I want to be honest in my answer.\n\nI had this same fear after my 2nd marriage ended.  Thank goodness I had a dear friend who saw what I was experiencing and helped me rebuild my self-esteem and helped me "find myself".  I realized that I was not happy with myself and that I needed to be before I got involved again.  This was not a quick process.  And it was a lonely one.  But I thank God every day that I went through it.  When I quit looking and found out that I actually liked myself, I found a great guy.  He and I are no longer together, but I found that I am a complete person without a man.  This has given me a whole new perspective on life and relationships.  Since then, I have met and dated a much higher quality of men.  The man I'm seeing now is a wonderful and thoughtful man who is a good father and is concerned about the people around him.  This is want I wanted and what found me.\n\nI hope my experience can help!
804926
I guess talk to her to set dating guidelines. But if you have established that the relationship is over then she is allowed to date &  you just have to accept that. I'm sorry. If there is a chance of getting back together, than you need to discuss this with her rationally. If you have children than it's important that you two can still communicate.
542927
I'm happy to hear that you've moved on with life, but maybe you have to ask yourself what do you want for yourself as well as in a man, but mainly focus on yourself now...after five years (well almost), just think of what's good for you and what you will/won't tolerate from anyone!
664789
Dude, you sound just like me. My wife left me last July.  We had been together for 7 years.  We didn't have kids, do you?  I think that might make a difference.  Anyway, I turned 28 2 days after the divorce was final.\n\nYou have every right to feel scared.  Since we were kids whenever we hooked up with our exwives, we never really went through the dating scene that you are about to enter.  I see that some of the peeps are advising you not to enter in to a relationship, but you arent asking about a relationship, you are asking about dating, gotta keep that seperated.  If you are anything like me, your world has stopped spinning and you are all sorts of messed up in the head.  Don't let that part of you bring down the rest of you.  For me, it was real freaking important psychologically to know that I could still pull tail.  Let me tell you, it was not that hard.  Just so you know, I am nothing special.  I aint Mr. GQ.  I aint some gym rat either.  I tell you that because I always see dudes our age at the bars all GQ'd out looking like they live in the gym and I never thought I could compete with that, well don't.  You don't have to.  You don't want the bar flies that chase those dudes anyway.  \n\nFirst thing you gotta do is get your mind right.  You are a dude that was faithful to 1 girl from the time you were an irresponsible kid till now.  You havent been in bars chasing skeezers every night since you turned 21.  You are a good dude that is different than those type of guys.  You understand relationships and women.  You know the expectations of a woman and will naturally meet them.  Things like calling, being thoughtful, etc. are hard for dudes who have never been married, its natural for you and women love that.  Girls that are our age have the same concerns that we do.  Good girls are looking for good dudes and are willing to give you a chance if you can present an acceptable formula of traits.  You know you can.  \n\nI have dated 5 girls since my wife left me 9 months ago.  1 was a girl that I knew from highschool, (work that circuit).  3 were girls that I met via my job that worked for other companies, and the most recent one was an acquaintance of one of my friends wives.  If you are anything like me, your friends are all married and the wives know that you are a good dude, thus willing to set you up.  Keep your expectations real.  You know deep down the level of girl that you can pull.  Work all angles and dont listen to anyone who gives you a time table.  You need female companionship to get your esteem up.  Take it where you can get it.\n\nYou'll be alright.  It'll all work out for you my man.
301306
Well, I'm not going to lie and say it's easy, but when I was 31 I was just getting divorced from my first wife, and dating a girl I met in a Burger King (of allplaces) for a while. That relationship ended kind of mutually.\n\nThen I met my current wife online. And here I am. By the way, did I mention that this marriage involved emigrating from England?\n\nAnyway, I didn't rest on my laurels for one minute. As soon as I was free and clear from wife #1 I was out every weekend going to my favorite club and meeting people all the time. I  just relaxed and had fun. It's true that when you try too hard it kind of shows and I guess it's offputting to some extent. In both cases, the girl and my wife, I wasn't trying at all. It just came to me.\n\nI suggest finding a few night spots that you like. Go with friends or go alone, it's all the same. Just enjoy yourself and someone will just show up and change your life.
186268
I have been through a similar experience. Just over a year ago the guy who I had planned on marrying & I decided to part ways. Even though it was mutual I had a really hard time moving on. I started dating again right away, but soon realized that in the process of dating my ex I had lost track of who I really was, therefore all the guys I dated after him; I was dating for the wrong reasons. I don't know if that makes sense, but I decided that I had to "date myself" first before I was ready to hit the dating scene again. \n\nAbout 4 or 5 months ago I came across this book: Single "The art of being satisfied, fulfilled, and independent". by Judy Ford  It really opened my eyes as to how I was living my life. It's okay to grieve & find yourself before hitting the dating scene again. I've taken a sabatical from dating & have never been happier. I have more guy friends than I have ever had before & they are teaching me what I really want in a guy.\n\nMaybe you're not ready for the whole dating thing yet, but that shouldn't stop you from getting to know this great guy. It sounds like you two are building a friendship, & friendship is so important when trying to rediscover yourself. Just be totally honest with yourself & do some soul searching ... you'll be surprised by all you don't know about yourself.
682566
I think when you have finally let go of the fact your marriage did not work out and are peace with the fact it didn't work and are not carrying around any ghosts.\n\nThen you will be ready to put your time and energy into a new relationship or be ready to date. I think if you are not over the past, then it will ruin even fun dates, because your heart just won't be in it.
451733
not anyone at work that you know is single or divorced?\nperhaps at church?(if you are a church going person)\nor perhaps ask your fellow female friends if they know someone who is available(remember to ask if the gent is stable(mentally)lol....need to be carefull out there!....\n              good luck!
180683
After 18 months of seperation is when my divorce became final, but I knew it was the right thing when he said "if I can't sleep with you, I might as well go sleep with her." Best worst day of my life. \n\nHere's the thing, if you have any contact and or children, it's a good thing to work hard on trying to find your way back to the good times. If you don't have contact, and no one even wants to make an effort to work things thru, it's time to let it go and get a divorce. \n\nIt sucks, I know. But I am so happy now. I have a loving relationship that gets better and better every day I'm in it. Things were so not that way with my ex. It's not that I never fight with my current mate, it's just the arguments are rare and get resolved. \n\nWhatever happens, learn to love and respect yourself. Maybe you made a mistake with marriage. That's all it might be, a mistake. Learn from it and go on and be happy.
82104
When I was single, I just used to ignore it completely and work all day or do stuff that won't remind me of that.\nPretend like it's not there :P
619350
Personally I wouldn't be thinking about getting involved with another man so soon after divorce. You will find your soul mate when the time is right. Have some "down time" for yourself. Divorce is not easy on the heart, so heal first before rushing into another relationship. Your knight in shiny armor is out there somewhere, weather your divorced or single.
863998
There are no rules.  When you feel comfortable, then you're ready to date.  Dating can actually be very healing because it will help you reaffirm that there are people out there with whom you can have a genuine relationship.  It helps to talk with other people who have been through the same thing.  There were two books that helped me: "Happily Even After" by Alan Cohen, and "Spiritual Divorce" by Debbie Ford.  My ex read them, too, it helped both of us and we have a good relationship now, which is important because we co-parent our kids.
283848
I myself am now just getting my divorce finalized at the end of the month. The amount of time varies with how comfortable you feel about seeing another person. It takes some time to get adjusted to the "single life". I have to agree that you don't want to introduce your children to someone that isn't serious. It's bad enough you had your heart broken by someone but you don't want your kids to go thru that over and over. It doesn't make you look good as a parent and your kids will grow up seeing you differently. Bottom line is there is no set time limit. It's all on how and when you feel yourself when you are ready.
1006022
Yes, after I got divorced. Don't be jealous!