How do you move forward with 3 daughters in your marriage of 6 years with your husband who has cheated on you?
548694
basically find a local family therapist to help guide you in this very tough time... you need to discuss this matter at length with someone who is capable of guiding you thru this...
691637
*If you know he still loves you, then (assuming it was you who initially wanted the divorce) apologize. Tell him the feelings you still have for him, and ask him if he is willing to take you back, let him know you want his forgiveness. Having both a mother and father will be good and healthy for the children. It is not seperation anxiety, it is natural(and good) for you to desire to reunify with your husband. Cheap sexual encounters or other pseudo-relationships will not fill that pain/void in your life. If he agrees, it would be best to remarry him. There is no better way to start than genuine forgiveness.\n\n\n* this is assuming there was no abuse in the marriage\n\nFinally if it was his fault, it would be best to start by letting him know that you have forgiven him unconditionally. Nothing will kill an attempt at reigniting the fire than holding a grudge.\n\nEither way, honesty is best, bear your heart and tell him the truth, and you will have done your part. If he does not accept, it will be his loss. You will have done the right thing.
309070
Most relationship decisions come down to one question; Can I handle it, or can I not? It's obvious she has no plans to stop cheating. What you have to decide is whether you love her enough to forgive her and stay with her, or if you can't. \n\nIf you decide you want to stay, you need to talk to her and try to figure out why she's being unfaithful. Once you have a reason, then maybe you can work through it. If you can't forgive her, or she won't stop, then you have to decide if you can handle being married to a woman who sleeps with other men, or leave her.\n\nMy personal opinion is that she does not love or respect you and you should respect yourself by leaving.
617239
You deserve devotion and caring from the father of your children. If he cant be a loving husband then you need to move on. You need to protect your child. \n\nGood Luck and God Bless!!
26278
1. Tell your wife you love other people.\n2. Get a divorce.\n3. Move to Vegas and patrol the many viable whorehouses instead of potentially ruining your own family life and another family's as well.\nHow can you live with yourself in the knowledge you violated your vows to your wife?
809071
OMG!!!  I can't believe that someone else on earth has had to go through this!!  Last year I found out my husband was having an affair for 9 months with a neighbor of ours.  I was friends with this woman before she moved into our neighborhood, so when she moved in, we quickly became best of friends.  I was very angry, I kicked him out and never spoke to her again.  I had to talk to him because when I filed for divorce, he wanted to talk a settlement in custody of our daughter.  I refused.  I told him that as long as he wanted to be with her, then he wasn't taking my child around HER.  After about 3 months of not living with our family, he decided that he didn't want to be single or with HER for that matter.  I made him jump through a million hoops to come back home (such as switching cell numbers with me, getting a better job, going to counseling, going to AA, plus many more).  Also I made it a condition that if I EVER even THINK that he is talking to her again, then it is OVER FOR GOOD.
806710
Well, it would have been nice had you used spell check first...\nYour question is hard to read for those of us that actually speak and write in English...\n\nSo my answer to this is, which marriage were you speaking of???\nI am on marriage number 3 and at my age it would be foolish to act like a virgin this far into my life...\nI know others that are in their 5th marriage;  you think they should wait too???\nJust exactly how much holier are you than the rest of us???\nMy previous 2 marriages had the exes walk out on me because of cheating, and I was not at fault...\nSo we should study that aspect more don't you think???\nI do not agree with your logic or attitude... Sorry...\nYou could never make it work...\nHow would you ever prove it???
788470
Tippy, the only way you are going to be able to deal with this is to forget it.  When you start remembering, stop.  Imagine something brings a smile to your face.  It's not wrong to stay with a man that you love, even if he's cheated.  But honey, it's your mental health that is taking the punishment.  You are going to have to forgive and forget to make it.  It's not easy and it's not going to happen over night.  I am sorry, your heart breaking is got to stop before it completly breaks.  \n\nDoes your husband help you?  What I mean has he ask for forgiveness?  Does he show you emotional support?  Honey, you need for him to help you with this.  Believe it or not, you need him to help heal from this wound.  He needs to be more loving, and shows that he cares that he hurt you.  If he's just blowing it off, like it happen-get over it-then you may never be able to fully forgive him and stop the tears.  He's the kleenex, he's the one that needs to wipe them away with his love.  \n\nHoney, you must remove the images, clean out all the thoughts of them together.  You are grieving in a sense, you have been betrayed, and it's like part of you has died.  It hurts, and it's so hard, but it can be done.  If you want to save your marriage, you are going to have too!  Your husband may have be so wrong, but now it's your turn to make sure you don't make it worse.  If you feel the tears coming on-focus on something else. Anything, but that.  When you start, or catch yourself thinking remember this...it's in the past and today's a new day, each day it will get less and less.  Your husband has got to do his part sweetie.  You can't make a marriage by yourself,  No matter how much you love him, unless you are going to be a silent wife, and just let him do what he wants when he wants.  You deserve so much more than that.  You deserve to be loved and respected, it's your choice your decision rather to forgive, and if this is what you want to do, you must not dwell on it any longer.  Kick yourself in the butt, if you have too.  I am so very sorry, no one should have their heart broken like this, but you aren't alone, and many marriages have become stronger from living thru what you are going through right now.  So, please dry those tears, take a deep breath, and remember it's all your choice how you deal with it.\nPraying that your heart mends, and the memories are forgotten, and that you have the strength to know you are worth true love and respect from the one you GAVE your heart to.  \n\nGod bless us all............
360518
Start by leaving your husband and your child.  You can always have another child by this other man and your husband surely will raise this child with love, understanding, compassion and loyalty.  Something you should have had when you married him and spoke your feeble vows.  No wonder men think so many women are disgraceful creatures!
1167222
I spent 10 years with my first love who did NOTHING but accuse me of cheating. Even after two kids and finalizing my faithfullness with MARRIAGE (which I regreat every day of my existance) YOU dont have to do a DAMN thing to prove that you are what you are, faithfull and a proud mom. Look at how awesome you are with providing for your kids no matter what curve ball life throws your way. It took me to 6 years to stop my putting up with his claims and accusations that I finally dusted myself up one day and realized, (1)How the Hell am I going to keep on putting up with this and (2) why would I put my kids through this? They are such incredible sponges and you are their role in relationships, family and love. My last straw was relationship counseling, that brought out alot of hidden insecurities that I never knew he had as well as shed some light onto several of his accusations. He actually WAS cheating for awhile and guilt wouldnt let him life it down. After 2 months of "trying for the kids" I left. Me and the kids got our stuff together, I fought for full custody and I havent been happier in a long time. There is a sole mate out there for you and HE will FIND YOU, not that you have to force it to happen just because you had kids with the guy. That is the worst reasons. You are making it alone (emotionally, and financially) you can do it without the added pressure of his stupidity. I have all the faith and prayer in the world on your side and you can get through this. You wont be alone, You will be Happy and Stress Free With Your KIDS. They need you. How old is your youngest? How old is your oldest? Dont hesitate contacting me for questions or advice. My heart goes out to you. PrncssNiki@yahoo.com
918930
I suggest that the three of you arrange some time for the three of you to sit down and talk. Explain to your daughter that you are happy with this man and that you want to continue having a relationship with him. Tell her how much the both of them mean to you and that he is not your ex-husband and would never dream of hurting either your or her verbally or physically. Ask her why she disapproves of him. Ask him how her disapproval makes him. Tell her how much her disapproval hurts. And, than ask her if she would sit aside her differences and give him a chance for just a little while. Make sure that everyone gives their input on the matter.
608392
Don't quite understand the details. But it sounds like you're settling for second best.  You deserve someone who will love you unconditionally. You deserve to be cherished and protected and cared for.\n\nA man who'll continuously throw your past in your face (like you can change the past) and steps out and cheats on you is a toxic person.  He's just bringing you down.  Either he changes (which is hard to do) or you need to get stronger and demand better for yourself and your children.\n\nYour children learn from observation.  Do you want your daughters to choose a husband like this man for themselves?  Do you want your sons to become like this man and ruin other women's lives?
151641
If he has shown no repentance you can seperate yourself from him for a while. But if you have no proof you need to be very careful. If you suspect he has done this there are probably other deceitful things going on as well that feed the suspicion. If he has not admitted it you need to focus more on the things that you do know and search yourself for you wrongdoings as well. Ask him if you have wronged him in a way that has made him pull away from you. I highly suggest the book "love and respect" by Dr. Emerson Eggerich. This book has been a marriage saver for many. \n\nIf in fact your husband has been outside of the marriage you have the right to divorce. But Jesus wants us to try to make it work anyway. If we can show forgiveness in that sort of situation then we can begin to understand the forgiveness he has for us.\n\nAre there children involved? You kids are learning how to treat people and handle situations based on how you and your husband do these things. Pretend for a moment that your daughter was in the situation you are in now. What would you advise her to do? Or maybe even pretend that your daughter in law came to you with the suspicion that your son was cheating on her. What would you advice your daughter inlaw do do about your son? Looking at it like this helps put things in perspective. \n\nAlso the most important thing to do is PRAY. Ask God for guidance. Try to pray with your husband. I will pray for you now.\n\nDear Heavenly Father,\n\nLord I bring this situation to you in humble prayer and inquisition. May you shine a light here in the darkness. May you guide this woman on what to do. Let her hear your words and obey. I pray that you convict her husband and bring him to repentance. May this couple see the significance their marriage has. And how marriage is a holy union to represent the Christ/Church relationship. May you wipe away the tears and give strength here. Lord let us remember the forgiveness you have as well as the wrath. Bless this womans search and may her efforts be pleasing in your sight. In Jesus's name. Amen
743861
the marriage is over. the 2 of u have lost all respect for each other. just move on. if u stay u could end up doing more harm. think abut the children. they have to see this behavior going on in the home. so just move on.
803808
You have got to get past this issue.  It is NOT healthy.  He can not change his past, it isn't going to magically go away.  But I would place fair bets he barely ever gives those other women a moments thought.  He chose you, he is with no one else but you now, and he LOVES you and you alone.  If you do not somehow move past this you could start acting out in anger towards him and in the process push you husband away.  You don't want that, I don't want that for you.\n\nIf you can't come to terms with it by yourself, then you need to seek therapy.  For yourself and for the overall health of your marriage.\n\nedit - Your anger stems from jealousy which in turn stems from fear.  You are afraid (most likely) that you are not good enough or not as good as them.  Truly, seek professional help.
861753
after all you and your family has done for him and he does this sounds like there is no respect for himself or for his family. He is a adult and he knew the consquences before he took his actions and now he must deal with them. There is no such thing as accidently sleeping or being with someone else while you are married. With him abusing you and then cheating on you and you already having one child and one on the way all you can do is make a grown decision and ask yourself do you want to raise your children to see this? I was in a relationship many years ago just like that and really loved my ex husband however 5 years of the physical abuse and the drinking and cheating was enough I finally got out. It does hurt but you have to be strong if he did it once and you take him back ask yourself will you ever be able to let it go and forget it? Will the relationship be the same? will he do it again? will you have to live your life constantly asking yourself is he out there cheating again? Do you want to deal with that? I know it hurts but why put yourself through it again? You may never get over him I know i have been married to my husband now for 13 years and still once in a while think of my ex husband but am very happy with who i got and where i am in life. So only you can make your decisions and have to live with them and only we online can give opinions so from experience my opinion would be you have been seperated for a while and i would suggest stay away and get a divorce I would not want to raise children thinking it was ok to cheat on someone you love or raise your daughter to be tolerant of someone treating her like that so plain and simple ask yourself this if it was your daughter and she was going through this kind of suituation what would you want her to do?? Good Luck and God Bless
536636
It will hurt her.  You know that right?  \nBut, as unfortunate as it is, it does happen.  That doesn't mean you can't be gentle about it.  You just need to sit down and be honest with her.  The longer you wait, the harder it will be on all three of you.  \nMy ex husband found someone else while we were together and he told me immediately, before he cheated.  I respect that he did at least leave me BEFORE he went to her.  PLEASE Consider that fact if it's not too late.