What is wrong with cutting/ self mutilation if it makes you feel good?
545585
There is nothing wrong with it.\n\nIts a lifestyle choice.\n\nSmoking for example - whats wrong with it?\nDrinking too much - whats wrong with it?\nGambling - whats wrong with it?\n\nSelf mutilation if done in a very limited way is not as harmful as any of the above.\n\nWHY DO THEY CALL IT WRONG?\nBecuase most people do not try see others problems and personalities - so what ever the 'majority' is not doing is wrong.\n\nWHY WOULD YOU WANT TO STOP IT?\nIf it is becoming too much and you are suffering more than actually gaining then you might want to consider, either limiting it (seems easier) or stopping it altogether.\n\nBest bet against addictions - is a new one, something that is lighter. Like \n\nY!A\nYahoo Games\nPC Games\nTV Watching\n\nAnother one that you might love is: EXERCISE\n\nExercise --> Endorphins --> Euphoria
374629
It is not understood really how many people actually do this but its thousands and thousands. Don't worry your not daft neither stupid. Dont listen to people that say its for attention!\n\nYoung people who self-harm have often had very difficult or painful experiences or relationships. These may include:\n\nBullying or discrimination. \nLosing someone close to them such as a parent, brother, sister or friend.\nLack of love and affection or neglect by parents or carers. \nPhysical or sexual abuse. \nA serious illness that affects the way they feel about themselves. \nOther young people may start to self-harm as a way of dealing with the problems and pressures of everyday life. Pressure can come from family, school and peer groups to conform or to perform well (for example in getting good exam results). Young people can be made to feel angry, frustrated or bad about themselves if they cannot live up to other people's expectations.\n\nYoung people who self-harm may have low self-esteem. For some this is linked to poor body image, eating disorders, or drug misuse. Understanding why young people self-harm involves knowing as much as possible about their lives and lifestyles.\n\nPeer pressures may occasionally be the most important reason for self-harm.Young people may find themselves among friends or other groups who self-harm and may be encouraged or pressurised to do the same. \n\n\nSelf-harm as a way of coping\n--------------------------------------------------------------------------------\n \nExtreme feelings of fear, anger, guilt, shame, helplessness, self-hatred, unhappiness, depression or despair can build up over time. When these feelings become unbearable, self-harm can be a way of dealing with them.\n\nReasons young people have given for their self-harm include:\n\nWhen the level of emotional pressure becomes too high it acts as a safety valve - a way of relieving the tension. \nCutting makes the blood take away the bad feelings. \nPain makes them feel more alive when they feel numb or dead inside. \nPunishing themselves relieves feelings of shame or guilt. \nWhen it's too difficult to talk to anyone, it's a form of communication about their unhappiness - a way of saying they need help. \nSelf-harm is something they can control when other parts of their life may seem out of control. \n\nFeel free to ask me questions.
953856
I'd be more worried that you think cutting someone's throat is appropriate.  If that's how you feel, please get help.  And don't give your opinion to other people, it could mess them up, too.
335421
I used to ask myself that same question many years ago.  Why is it bad?  It isn't a healthy way to deal with anything because nothing gets solved, and you could end up doing serious damage to yourself, or even accidentally killing yourself.\n\nStopping is difficult, but very possible.  A lot of people I know, myself included, have found therapy to be helpful.  This doesn't mean being filled full of meds or being locked away somewhere, it means having a therapist to talk to, who will help you to solve the problems that are making you hurt yourself, and help you to find new ways of dealing with your pain.\n\nOne thing I found helpful was researching the topic...there are a lot of good, informative books out there on the topic, as well as many good websites.  Your mother does need to understand that self injury isn't something that can be stopped overnight, and that she's going to have to be willing to stand by you and be supportive while you are working your problems out.\n\nThis may sound dumb, but if you'd like more info on the topic, feel free to email me. aeshia_lugosi@yahoo.com
901413
I'm an ex-cutter myself; congratulations on giving up the habit--we both know that takes guts. Tell you the truth, it isn't as "bad" as people think it is; it's just socially unacceptable, dangerous in a minor way, and an ineffective way to cope with emotional problems.\n\nCutting is very socially unacceptable, except in very specific cultures--it might be accepted among "goths", or, if it is decorative, among people who are into body modification.\n\nHere's why cutting is socially unacceptable:\n\nWe are all born with a huge instinct for self-preservation. People do amazing things when their lives are in danger; look at any account of people who have survived things like fires, or being trapped in the wilderness, or plane crashes... Human beings are very, very motivated to survive.\n\nThe very strange thing is that you probably cut yourself because it was a last-ditch effort to survive. But other people didn't understand that.\n\nThere's a visceral reaction that people have when they see someone else with an injury--a psychological sympathy-pain reaction, I suppose. Whenever I see someone else with an injury, I know I kind of cringe in sympathetic pain... I don't know if you feel it the same way, but there's always a sort of knot in my stomach when I see someone else has been injured.\n\nThe second reason is that people see anyone who hurts themselves deliberately as mentally ill, and that there is a huge stigma associated with mental illness.\n\nBecause cutting is so "dramatic", and people can't imagine themselves doing it, they often think that it is much more severe than it actually is, or that it is a suicide attempt. In reality, superficial self-injury is usually an indicator of a relatively common mental illness like depression.\n\nPeople are afraid of those with mental illnesses. There are a lot of reasons for that:\n--Horror movies have a lot of villains who are psychopaths or otherwise insane... Despite that a murderer or other violent criminal is very likely to be perfectly sane, people associate mental illness with violence.\n--People are often afraid that they will "catch" your mental illness.\n--There's a certain social code that people follow. Whatever language you speak, that's only about half your communication to other people. The other half is nonverbal... gestures, clothes, the way you walk, your posture. People with mental illnesses often don't follow these unwritten codes; and people who see them don't "speak" the same nonverbal language. Therefore, people will often ostracize those with very mild problems... just because they can't predict their nonverbal actions.\n--People are afraid of what they don't know and can't predict. Prejudice against the unfamiliar--whether it's a different culture, or a different sexual orientation, or whatever--is very common. And those with mental illnesses, even common ones like depression or PTSD, are just different.\n\nWhen people see your scars, they know you have broken a taboo: The unwritten rule that one must always act to protect one's physical health. That rule is imprinted on your instincts.\n\nThe reason you broke that rule is because you knew that, with your limited options, you might hurt yourself worse if you didn't hurt yourself superficially. It's like getting a splinter out of your skin, so it doesn't get infected... It hurts, but it'd hurt a lot worse if you didn't.\n\nBecause you had limited options, you chose to hurt yourself in a small way to avoid big emotional pain. Now that you have more options, mentally and emotionally, to deal with emotional overload, you no longer need such a drastic coping strategy. Cutting really doesn't work all that well, anyway; so once you find a better way to deal with life, why go back?\n\nBut people don't understand that you felt you hadn't any other options. They jump
586539
if the counseling is not working, find a new counselor, psychiatrist, etc.  some people go through quite a few before finding one that works well for them.\nmy own history is rather full of self cutting and as for myself i just sort of outgrew it as the desire became less and  less over the years...but it wasn't like i outgrew it in a year, it was more like ten.  and some of it gets hard as to what to count or not.  i always greatly enjoyed skateboarding and always skated better when i was depressed and thinking of cutting myself, so i guess it was a f*** it if i get hurt thing going on there.  i also went through numerous piercings before i realized i was doing it since it was more socially acceptable to have a hoop than a self created scar.\nas for understanding it...its not really something you probably can, people either seem to understand it (cause they have been there) or not.  it was almost like self medicating for me, like a reset switch that would refocus me and i would feel better for awhile after wards.  it definitely wasn't a healthy habit and i came close several times to killing myself which is scary now to look back on but at the time wasn't bothering me all that much.  most cutters i have known though, there "habit" hasn't really gotten worse, meaning that, a cut was a cut and there wasn't a drive to make bigger or more cut/s intentionally next time.\n...it felt very "real," i felt "alive" again after doing it, and able to focus more, it was like i could snap myself out of being depressed by cutting myself.  being yelled at about it didn't help at all, if anything it made me feel worse.  though i was fine if i felt like someone was talking to me, trying to understand why i did it and not being overly judgmental about me for it.  so i would recommend very neutral conversations about it with her for awhile.\nwriting really helped me alot to work things out, though it never stopped me from cutting myself...but a writing hobby can't hurt any.  you might want to try to determine if she is taking "trial" runs at a real suicide attempt, though really try to be very neutral and diplomatic about this.\nits also something that doesn't really seem to ever go away 100%, i am rather fond of my scars, though i know many people who are ashamed of theirs, and i still think about it ever so often but for some reason just don't do it.  i guess i should add i was always most prone to cutting myself if i realized i was going into a depression, or when i was coming out of one, so maybe that might help you determine when she is most at risk, though i'm sure it varies for different people.  anyway...i don't mind talking about really, so feel free to email or message me if you want.  hope this helps some.
408761
i was also into self mutilation and i used to cut myslef too.  i also have my reasons to why i did it. best way i think is to talk to someone you are close to. you are too young for this type of thing.
764356
i have no idea, but it's horrible. when you do it, it feels like all of your stress is gone adn u feel so free. but then u finish, and look at wht u've done and think of it, and it sinks in and u start to cry. i know where u'r comin from here. i've thought about tht a lot. i've been cuttin for around 8 years, and it never fails to happen.\n\ni think it's a focus thing. tht u start focusing on it. u get caught up in the emotion of the time. it's just like if u have a significant other. and u make a deal not to masturbate (i kno it's weird, but there's a point.) u make the deal cuz u want to only do stuff and feel good together. then u get in the mood, and they arent around. so u do it urself. it feels really good at the time, cuz u'r caught up in the emotion, but then u finish and feel bad because u made tht promise.\n\ni think we cut, then we regret it and make the promise to ourselves (if not others) tht we will never do it again, and tht we will never make ourselves feel tht way again. but then we get tht tingly urge, and we get caught up in the urge, and we do it. then we feel like we let ourselves down. tht's my guess.\n\n\n\n\n------john@hw7online.com-------
32184
Absolutely not! If I'm only harming myself, and no one else, what is wrong with that?
1095835
There is no commitment in self-mutilation. Commitment is the bond that is between emotions and desires not anything physical.  Commitment  comes from within the person and disfiguring yourself will not strengthen any bond. For a lasting commitment just be honest and open to eachother and grow together within yourselves.
831702
You know what, you sound so much like me it's not even funny.  But really it's just an excuse.  I completely agree that cutting isn't any worse than smoking.  It probably does less damage to your body, and it's definitely less addictive.  But it's still addictive, and it still hurts your body.  Just because smoking is socially acceptable doesn't mean it's a good thing to do, and it definitely doesn't mean that cutting is a good thing to do.\n\nYes, cutting does work.  For a while.  And then the cuts stop hurting and it all comes rushing back.  So you cut again.  And again, and again, until there's no where left to cut.  It's not a permanent solution.  It doesn't solve your problems any more than going out and getting drunk, or high or stoned solves your problems.  It just lets you forget them for a little while.\n\nIt might take away your pain tonight, but what about tomorrow when you have to get in the pool for PE and there are cuts all over your arms?  Or when you want to look nice for a special occasion and there are scars all over your arms and legs?  Or when you can't wear short sleeves in the summer because people will stare at your arms, or your parents will find out.  What happens when you're applying for a job, and every prospective employer can see written all over your body that you have a history of depression?  Do you really think anyone wants to hire someone who they see as mentally unstable?  Like it or not, society doesn't approve of cutting, so you either have to hide it or face social ostracization.  Neither one is a very attractive option.\n\nI'd be hypocritical if I told you to stop cutting, but believe me you don't want to go down the "it's ok to cut" road any more than you already have.  I've been there and it's not really a very nice place.\n\nThe other problem with cutting is that band-aids are really f***ing expensive if you buy them often enough.
1163447
There are a lot of reasons people cut themselves.  If it's a close friend you're talking about, maybe you could ask her why she does it.\n\nFor some people, cutting is a way to get attention.  People tend to look down on people who do this, but really cutting for attention is an act of despiration, and definitely still means there's something wrong.  I've read about kids who cut for reasons like their sibling is really sick and they feel like everyone is paying attention to their sibling and ignoring them.  Or it might be because they're in a really bad situation at home or at school and don't know how else to ask for help.  Or it may just be that they have the kind of personally that likes attention.\n\nAnother reason some people cut is because they think it's cool. This isn't the case for most cutters, but some people, especially young teens, start cutting because their friends do it or because they think it will make them seem more grown up.\n\nThe last major reason people cut, and the hardest to understand, is to deal with emotional pain or stress that they can't deal with other ways.  People who do this will usually try to hide their cuts and keep it secret, so people tend to associate cutting with the first two reasons more than this one, simply because they don't know about this last reason.  For some people it basically serves as punishment for something they feel guilty about.  For some it makes them feel alive when they feel emotionally numb.  For others, it helps them deal with other things.  I'm not entirely sure why this last one works, but I think it is basically because the physical pain takes your mind off the emotional pain, and physical pain is easier to deal with.  I'm not sure that really explains it, but it's the best I can do right now.  If you want to know more about it you're welcome to email me by the Answers contact link and I can try to explain it a bit better.
346664
you shouldn't cut yourself.\n\nAre you doing it for attention?\n\nIf you're doing it when you're angry, you need to find another way to control your anger.  For example, get a punching bag and go crazy on it (or just a pillow works too).
1182902
Nothing wrong with self-pleasure.  You do need to get out & be doing something ovccassionally, like go to church events.
388913
For some reason, self injurious behavior is very addicting. Once you start, it's very hard to stop. I started cutting when I was 12--I'm now 28 and still fight the urge.  Since you just started, you need to work really hard at stopping.  If you feel like you really need help, you need to reach out to an adult that you trust and can talk to.  When you feel the urge to cut, call a friend or find another outlet---sports, drawing, working out, music, writing your feelings down, hobbies.  You need to get control over this now because the longer you do it, the harder it is to stop.\n\nI have an adult friend who also cuts.  She cuts to the point of having to go to ER.  So, this is very serious--if you don't gain some control, it'll control you and only get worse.\nIf you're suicidal, you really need to talk to your parents.  You may need some different meds.\n\nPlease find someone you can reach out to! And never feel like people don't/can't understand because there are many people who do this.  You're not alone.\n\nBest of luck to you!\n\nhttp://www.palace.net/~llama/psych/injury.html\nhttp://www.focusas.com/SelfInjury.html\nhttp://teenagerstoday.com/resources/articles/mutilate.htm\nhttp://www.coolnurse.com/self-injury.htm
334643
No you are not weird for doing this. There are, it seems, quite a few people on here who do. The reason most people self harm is because they haven't found a way to self sooth. Like when we were kids and had our favorite blankie or stuffed animal. Some where along the way we forgot how to sooth ourselves in a good way. I believe many people self harm because they lack assertiveness. Being able to tell people how you really feel without feeling guilty or worrying your going to hurt them is important in allowing your feelings out instead of holding them in and hurting yourself. Don't be ashamed of your scars, if they are still there years later, once you have stopped someday, look them and it can be a reminder of where you were and where you will never go again.
1008413
I think it is because it is not socially accepted.  When I see someone who cuts, I feel only concern for the person, rather than other emotions.  I used to cut when I was in inter/high school, but now do not anymore.  I feel that the social pressure not to do it is a factor in why I stopped.  I also feel that there is no understanding into why, most people think it is a suicidal behavior.