What is the best way to embarrass a Jehovah's Witness?
543837
The typical Jehovah's Witness knocks on hundreds of doors every year. He has seen almost everything, including naked people and self-proclaimed "Satanists".\n\nThe only embarassing thing you could really say to him (if he has a partner which they usually do):\n"Hey, where have you been? Six months ago we discussed your Watchtower magazine and I told you I needed a ride to the Kingdom Hall and a bible study. You never came back!"\n\nGuaranteed he will turn purple making excuses in front of his partner. If you want to be kind, after a few seconds you should say, oh I'm just messing with you.
219831
Use the old cop trick and LAY HIS ASS OUT with a PHONE BOOK! It doesn't leave marks. I don't care if the little bastard is M-D, ADD or EIEIO - getting knocked on one's ASS in the middle of a tirade tends to get their attention.\n\n\n********************\nTo troyken2003: What an UNMITTIGATED TOTAL CROCK OF S***...
188840
We demand to see this evil wife of yours.. maybe she can disappear without provocation.  As for Antichrist test, here is what you do:  get a bowl full of blueberry jello (liquid not harden), mix in 2 cloves of garlic, 2 pinches of thyme, a pinch of mustard seed, stir this to a consistency while heating over a low heat.  \n\nTake it and slowly pore over her evil head, if her head starts turning blue, then she is of Satan, if her head turns red then she is not.
1146093
I do, I am one. Yes we will be persecuted, mocked, and ridiculed, but can our opposers give us everlasting life? Can they promise us that we may see our dead loved ones again? Can they help us learn the TRUTH about the Bible? NO!!! They are humans just like us, their statements are very rude and insulting but who cares. Remember those who don't listen to our message are rejecting JEHOVAH, not us, so keep on persevering in your ministry.
1044055
How ironic that a question and Scripture about *NOT* reviling has an answer that reviles "Watchtower" and Jehovah's Witnesses!!!\n\nThe Scripture mentioned in the question is an interesting one:\n(1 Peter 2:21-23) In fact, to this course you were called, because even Christ suffered for you, leaving you a model for you to follow his steps closely. 22 He committed no sin, nor was deception found in his mouth. 23 When he was being reviled, he did not go reviling in return. When he was suffering, he did not go threatening, but kept on committing himself to the one who judges righteously. \n\nAs mentioned, it's ironic. The lesson is that no godly purpose is served by attacking a particular religion, or by angrily responding to such attacks. Even a few reasonable Pharisees in the first century recognized that with regard to the Christians:\n(Acts 5:38-39) Do not meddle with these men, but let them alone; (because, if this scheme or this work is from men, it will be overthrown; but if it is from God, you will not be able to overthrow them;) otherwise, you may perhaps be found fighters actually against God.”\n\n\nReally, when a person or group insists on fighting against a particular religion, does that person or group not realize that his attacks serve MOSTLY to fulfill Scripture? The Scriptures teach that such hatred should be expected by true Christians in this time of the end, and it actually helps identify Jehovah's Witnesses as Christ's true disciples:\n\n(John 15:19) If you were part of the world, the world would be fond of what is its own. Now because you are no part of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, on this account the world hates you.\n\n(Luke 6:22) Happy are you whenever men hate you, and whenever they exclude you and reproach you and cast out your name as wicked for the sake of the Son of man.\n\n(1 Peter 4:4) Because you do not continue running with them in this course to the same low sink of debauchery, they are puzzled and go on speaking abusively of you.\n\n(2 Timothy 4:3-5) For there will be a period of time when they will not put up with the healthful teaching, but, in accord with their own desires, they will accumulate teachers for themselves to have their ears tickled; and they will turn their ears away from the truth, whereas they will be turned aside to false stories. You, though, keep your senses in all things, suffer evil, do the work of an evangelizer, fully accomplish your ministry.\n\n\nIt seems signficant that the relatively small religion of Jehovah's Witnesses are the ones best known for their worldwide preaching work. Yet Jesus commanded that ALL who would call themselves "Christian" perform this public work:\n\n(Matthew 28:19,20) Go therefore and make disciples of people of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the holy spirit, teaching them to observe all the things I have commanded you. And, look! I am with you all the days until the conclusion of the system of things.\n\nYou can request additional information about Jehovah's Witnesses from their official website:\nhttp://watchtower.org
317609
The best way is to be the bigger person, and don't get revenge.  If you must, though, this is a safe prank:\n\nhttp://www.computerpranks.com/download/online-fun/jingle_bells_reversed.swf\n\n(spoof of Jingle Bells played backwards)\n\nBe careful if you or she has a weak heart!
755506
Good Lord. You can get punted from the JW's?????\nI didn't know that. Thats just weird!\n\nMay GOD richly bless you.
638064
They believe hiding and jumping out when i come out my front door to convert me away from Judaism..gesh those Jehovah Witnesses are so dam annoying
581901
Are you kidding?  \n\nYou do know better than this.  The JW are notorious for hounding Americans day after day.  They are like the travelling salesmen for God.\n\nI think you are here to set them straight. And, doing a mighty fine job from the sounds of it.  Take a deep breath and answer that door...um, I mean email. ;)
95153
*Reflecting a moment* The swiftest way to put someone unconcious in a physical fight is a shot to either temple. But I must warn you, this is very dangerous and should be done only if one is protecting life as it can cause brain damage or even death...\n\nGood, but less dangerous ways are a kick to the kneecap, kick/knee/punch to the groin (either sex it hurts, just hurts a hella lot more for a male), and the throat.
508136
Some of your other posts make it highly doubtful you are a witness of Jehovah. Not to mention the fact that in one post you requested information known to witnesses so that you could date a "Jehovah's Witness."\n\nIf you have a dislike for witnesses, that is perfectly understandable ,.. many do.  If you once were a witness but have left, that is perfectly understandable as well.  You have that right.\n\nBut calling yourself a witness and then posting such things as you do suggests that your aim is, well let us say, less than admirable.  You might be surprised to know that many non-witnesses are quite familiar with witnesses and are able to detect a fraud.  You should keep in mind that when people set out to make others look foolish, they usually end up looking foolish themselves.
582307
I'd say to note all of the people you used to know, talk about how good it is to see them and comment (positively) on any changes you notice. Perhaps you could tell humorous or heart-warming anecdotes about the pastor, deacons, other leaders or other members, depending on your relationship with them. etc. And if you're uncomfortable, you can always just say no...
146064
Look her in the eye, be resolute. Then you should shout at her, "Get thee behind me, Satan. I rebuke thee." Then with Christian love , explain the foolishness of her ways. If she fails to repent, walk away from her and cast the dust off the bottom of your shoes as a witness against her.
211869
Get there early (which means you probably shouldn't be here reading this), and be enthusiastic but not cheesy. Here's the tricky part: you'll want to have personal anecdotes available to help them relate to the scriptural content; in other words, help them translate it out of Bible-ese. BUT, be careful that you are aware at all times where the Word stops and YOU begin. Proceed prayerfully, and all of this will be of no consequence to you. Have fun. It's a very noble endeavor.
152294
Jehovah's witnesses. Mormons tend to challenge you on your beliefs. In my past experiences, when a Jehovah's witness came to my door, if I told them I was catholic (which I'm not) they would just say "ok" and leave. Mormons, on the other hand, wanted to "compare notes!!" I actually made friends with 4 mormon missionaries, and they really could have gotten into trouble if their superiors knew what they were doing! See, when mormons are going door to door, they aren't allowed to have radios, t.v.'s, or anything else that distracts them from their studies. (this was told to me by these guys.) Well, to make a long story short, they used to come to my house so they could sing karaoke with my girls and me. I have a system set up for home use as well as 2 others that I use for business. We had a good time. :)
732263
On the embarassing questions, you could just stare at the questioner, with an apalled look on your face, for a long time, then say "Isn't that a little personal?\n\nYou can lie, too.\n"So, tell me, when are you getting married and giving us a grand-niece?"\n"Gosh, Aunty Mable, after my motorcycle accident I can't have children - didn't I tell you?"\n\nThat, or blow the present money on first-class air fare to a place you've always wanted to see and send the family a nice post card.\n\nOther people's problems are always easier to solve than my own. I just slide out of the room when my Aunt Marian comes into it.
399163
Hypothetically, you had to do something to &!$$ him off.  I've had people give me the lamest excuse for a threat (usually because they can't beat me up because they're fat) "My (distant relative) is in the Mafia!"  But if you were threatened, technically, join the witness protection program.