Why do people have to tear you down just to make them feel better? and does it really help?
540931
Too many people have no way of solving their problems and allow their insecurities to take over their lives. As such, they are not resourceful enough to actually improve their own lots. So, they tear down others under the mistaken impression that they're sharing their misery and thus ridding themselves of some. All they end up doing is improving their *relative* status with the person they just brought down. It's selfish and disgusting behavior, really, and they haven't improved themselves at face value, even though someone else has plunged into their depths, albeit temporarily.\n\nI've suffered this BS from classmates and co-workers quite a lot - for the most part, it's jealousy, plain and simple. Some people just can't accept that others do things differently and achieve the same ends, but if you do it more quickly, the negative people feel threatened because you're "showing them up." Then they'll go narc to the supervisors about how you aren't following pointless procedures just so you'll have to do what they do.....it's very petty and asinine how people can be.\n\nMy suggestion: blow off anyone who does this to you. As long as you're doing whatever works for you, and no one (you nor anyone else) is *truly* being hurt by your actions, then no one should have any gripes about it. If the only "problem" is that someone else looks bad because of what you do that looks good, then there's truly no problem, and the "offended" person needs to suck it up and improve himself/herself. Period.
116101
honey, it's okay to cry. it's healthy to show your feelings and emotions. believe or not you are communicating. life throws challenges and it's up to us to decide how we handle it. for me, my best advice is fight back, u can control this. if someone calls u a crybaby, that's selfish on their part. u are telling him how u feel and that counts. if they tell u, u shouldn't be feeling the way you're feeling that selfish for their part. I say show your true feeling, take control of the situation, and be assertive. once you have the "assertion" then u can handle life a lot better.
744743
Most people who act like that are using it defensively because they're jealous.  So don't feel bad.  They're ugly people, inside and most likely out.  Only go if you want to go to events/occassions.  Otherwise, don't waste your time and don't give them the pleasure of being able to make you feel like crap.  If they say something nasty to you just smile and nod and say "Thanks for letting me know...I had NO idea..."  and then walk away.  They want a reaction out of you and if you respond politely and sweetly they'll either stop or get really pissed off.  My mother always taught me "Kill 'em with kindness"...and it works almost every time!
388449
If you feel the need to make fun of another human being, then I feel it means you are unhappy with yourself.  One cannot possibly get any feeling of accomplishment when they demean another and make them feel worthless or less than.  People who criticize the overweight have unresolved issues of their own and belong in therapy.  It matters not how or why a person is overweight (that is their own personal battle), what really matters is being kind and compassionate to others and you will more often then not; get the same in return.
276801
Yes, it can get on your nerves sometimes. People have a tendency to make the experiences they are having, so much bigger than anyone else's. We all have the same feelings we just react differently according to our personalities. Let's face it, some are not as strong as others. Just bear with them, give them support if you can. If your problems are overwhelming you at the time, back away quietly and tend to your own needs at the time.  So sorry you feel this way. Hope it gets better.
86429
cool down - getting upset isn't good for you.  Plus, if you know it's crap, why let it upset you?  Show that you are superior and let them know "hey, what you are saying just isn't making any sense!"
495322
When it comes to helping people you have to learn to choose your battles. You can't expect to please everyone all of the time. \nAs for people who hate themselves etc.,...it is easier to deal with someone elses problems rather than your own. It is a classic form of denial.
795691
They want to see what you made of. they will beat you, harass you, tell you that you'r worth nothing. at the end you will feel worthless. then they will build you up stronger then before.
938947
it's makes them feel more important. the more they tear others down, the more higher up it puts them.
822725
We are all victimised...\n\nI love those answers from pseudo-psychologists who say they need more info to be able to help you! LOL\n\nHow the hell can you help someone that is obviously feeling down and depressed,,, you will supply them with bullshit psychobabble that you've learnt through your "life-experience" that will probably add to their psychoses...\n\nListen mate,,, go to your doctor.. they know you best and also know how to help... if not... talk to a mate at least... but DO NOT rely on amateurs on Yahoo Answers
417746
I am not a professional but I sense that this is your way of taking your anger and frustration out on yourself to avoid taking it out on others.  Maybe you are angry with yourself?  I don't know your history.  At any rate, I think it would be a good idea to seek out professional help in this because it is possible that the behavior will get more damaging.
677483
I would simply say - they are trying to, but you don't have to let them!  Try to surround yourself with people who are positive.  Maybe you are simply hanging out with the wrong crowd at your digs... try making some new friends that build you up instead.  A lot of people try to bring others down when they feel insecure about themselves.  Obviously, you have recognized this in others and want to avoid it for yourself.  I think that is great!  \n\nWhen people make negative comments to you, you can always counter them by saying something positive immediately - either about yourself or about the topic.  Failing that, tell them that they are coming across as negative and a bully and that that is unacceptable to you in a friend.  If you are feeling depressed about all this though, please try to talk to an adult about it.  In many cases, there are things they can do to help and the people looking after you care about you, I am sure.  \n\nGood luck with your circumstances and don't let negative people in your life affect you too much.  When you are grown and out in the real world working, you will find that they exist everywhere and very often it is nothing that you have done to make them that way.  It is their own failing and none of yours.  Go out and succeed.  Be happy.  *hugs*
498304
It's got nothing to do with the other person/people - it's just that your bad day has stressed you out so much that you become oversensitive to the slightest bit of extra stress (the stuff that you wouldn't even notice on a good day) and you can't control your already overloaded nerves from making you feel like they're goading you!\n\nOn the other hand, there are some real a**holes who love to wind people up till they blow - the best way to deal with them is be sickly sweet to them - it confuses them AND exposes them as nasty pigs to everyone else around!
364259
I'm not mean to you. I see a lot of people on this site have been very mean. They are just ignorant and immature people if they have to be mean to someone, especially over the internet. Some people don't care if they hurt other people's feelings or not. I can see from some of your other questions that you are feeling sad and depressed and I know the last thing you need is for some idiots to add fuel to the fire. I hope things really get better for you soon.
981972
I don't know why, but it seems that there are many people who simply enjoy hurting others.  I suspect it stems from them feeling powerless and insecure, so they get a small charge to their own egos when they can make someone else feel bad. \n\n There are, also, others who simply take advantage of people - they see goodness and kindness as a kind of weakness they can exploit for their own means.\n\nDon't let this turn YOU bitter, though.  Remember to tell yourself that those people, in the end, will suffer for it when they find they lack solid, real and loving friendships in their lives.
885137
geez, some people want to feel good about themselves at the expense of others feeling bad.  They don't realize that sometimes people get tired of being helped and they need some room for themselves.  I think I was guilty at one time of having done something similar but definitely not as bad.  I think I didn't do too bad though and I got the hint pretty early and gave the person some room.  \nThere really isn't much you can do besides telling the person that you're thankful for all they have done for you, but you need to stand on your own legs and spend time with your own family.  You could also tell her how bad it makes you feel that you're always being helped and you feel like it's time you enjoyed helping others as well.  Although I'm not sure that argument would do much, as this kind of person usually interprets everything with a different dictionary and stuff comes in one ear and goes out the other.\nI say forget "not wanting to hurt her feelings".  Sounds like you're a religious person.  Jesus said the truth the way it was and didn't worry much about other people's feelings.  He ended up getting crucified for it too... I guess he hurt a few feelings.  \nThe fact is that this person is selfish and doesn't realize that she is taking away your self esteem by taking your privacy and not letting you make it on your own.
869724
I think it more indicative of  insecurity, Unfortunately some people feel superior when they are putting down others. Maybe it's a trait they learned during their childhood, or maybe they buy into the "competitive whatever the cost" conditioning that our leaders try to encourage, in the vain hope that the people will never unite for long enough to realize their oppression.\n\nEither way it sucks ;)