Can someone tell me a funny joke? nothing stupid please?
551779
An old man walks into a confessional. The following conversation ensues: \n\nMan: I am 92 years old, have a wonderful wife of 70 years, many children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren. Yesterday, I picked up two college girls, hitchhiking. We went to a motel, where I had sex with each of them three times.\nPriest: Are you sorry for your sins?\nMan: What sins?\nPriest: What kind of a Catholic are you?\nMan: I'm not.\nPriest: Why are you telling me all this?\nMan: I'm telling everybody!
1136957
Here is my funny joke of the week.\n\nWhy do Scottish men wear kilts??\n\nBecause a zipper scares off the sheep.
872517
funny. thank you, i just heard the worst three jokes of my life but you saved me from sorrow. I appreciate it lol.
25322
There was a scientific research project into the world's funniest joke, this is the result:\n\nTwo hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services. \n\nHe gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"
876169
I like that joke. It's not one to get offended about. It's very humorous! :)\nRaw Diva, don't listen to those arrogant foolish religious know it alls, especially common_sense_from_a_jerk!!!\nYou have a great joke and it's not distasteful in any way!\nI wanna hear another!!
614053
By far, best blonde joke I think I've ever heard.  (Tt is long, and I have used it before on Y!Answers.)\n\nCertain words have been changed to protect the censors.\n\nOkay so it's Dec. 24th and a postman is starting his walking route.  He comes to the the first house and opens the mailbox and there is a envelope inside that says "mailman" on it.  He opens it, it's a $10 bill with a note that says have a nice Christmas.  He proceeds to the next house and there is a card that says "mailman" which he opens to reveal $20.  He thinks to himself, "Wow, this is going to be a good day!"  He comes to the third house and there is a note: Mailman, knock on the door for your Christmas present.  He knocks and the door swings open to reveal a beautiful naked blonde woman.  She grabs him, pulls him inside and well... anyway, the censors are watching, but you get the Idea.\n\nAs he is putting his clothes back on the blonde woman disappears for a minute into the kitchen and brings back a tray with a huge breakfast on it.  Biscuits, gray, bacon, eggs, the works.  He's like WOW, thanks and proceeds to eat it.  \n\nHe glances at his watch and says, thank you, but I have to get going.  As he is moving to the door the blonde hands him a dollar and says Merry Christmas.  He's looks at the dollar and then at her and says no thanks, 'maam, you've done enough!  She says, oh no, you have to take it, it's my husbands idea.  The mailman pauses, "You husbands Idea?"  "Yeah," she says, "Last night I asked him if I should do anything for the mailman for Christmas and he said, 'screw him, give him a dollar,' breakfast was MY IDEA!"
412130
old joke.\n\ncat suit
977574
LOVED the joke.  Haven't heard (or read) such a funny joke is ages!!!
910889
OMG this joke is one of my favorites!!! Got any more?
809204
I actually got that one! LOLLOLLOLLOLLOL!!!!! Can you e-mail some other jokes to me like that one? my address is dogloverkm@yahoo.com   thanks!
114924
People, the joke is in the line "gentile disease". \n\nGo for the priest.
258497
go to funnyjunk.com, or jokes.com
543197
Thats a good one!!! A cute clean joke!!!! Keep em coming!!!
238476
Want to hear a dirty joke??\n\n\n\n\n\n\nA white horse fell in the mud. Now thats just dirty.
789845
ok...This is a really sick joke, and I don't like it.  People are probably going to get mad at me for it, but you asked for it so here it goes.\n\nJesus Christ walks into an Inn.  He hands the Innkeeper three nails and asks, "Can you put me up for the night?"\n\nI'm sorry, sorry, sorry, but I was just answering the question(or request).
847459
LOL that was a good one and for once it wasn't to long to read sometimes i can never be bothered to finish the joke coz there so long!\nThanks for the laugh xx
892716
Here's one for you:\nThere's a trucker driving along the highway in Nevada, and he starts to get really horny. He then sees a sign for a Brothel (whore house) 10 miles away. He begins to get very excited when he spots a note at the bottom of the sign which says: "Beware of Sandpaper Sally." He thinks this is a bit wierd but keeps driving and gets hornier and hornier. He finally gets to the Brothel, throws money down on the table, and says: "I want a whore." to which a woman repeats: "Okay, but the only girl we have left is Sally." He decides to take the offer and runs up to the room he's told Sally is in. He opens the door and sees the prettiest blond he's ever seen in his life, throws her down on the bed and procedes to have his way with her when he notices that she is a bit rough and dry down there. He asks what's wrong with her and she gets up and goes to the bathroom. She comes back and they start again. He says that it feels great and asks what she did. To which she replies:"I picked the scabs." \n\nHere's another:\nTwo men are sitting at a bar, one turns to the other and says:"I f*cked your mom."\nThe bar goes silent as everyone looks at the two men to see what is going to happen.\nOnce again, the first man repeats:"I f*cked your mom."\nTo which the other man replies:"Shut up dad, you're drunk."