Do u know any your mamma jokes?
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Yo Mama Jokes [collected by Lamda]\n-----------------------------------------\n\n\nYo mama is so ugly:\n\n\nYo mama so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals."\n\nYo mama so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning.\n\nYo mama so ugly just after she was born, her mother said "What a treasure!" and her father said "Yes, let's go bury it."\n\nYo mama so ugly they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies.\n\nYo mama so ugly they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower\n\nYo mama so ugly they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars.\n\nYo mama so ugly instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle, they put it around her neck\n\nYo mama so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween.\n\nYo mama so ugly when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillence cameras\n\nYo mama so ugly her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her\n\nYo mama so ugly her mom had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her.\n\nYo mama so ugly when she walks down the street in September, people say "Wow, is it Halloween already?"\n\nYo mama so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday.\n\nYo mama so ugly that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects.\n\nYo mama so ugly they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints.\n\nYo mama so ugly she made an onion cry.\n\nYo mama so ugly they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower!\n\nYo mama so ugly when they took her to the beautician it took 12 hours. . .for a quote!\n\nYo mama so ugly they put her in dough and made monster cookies!\n\nYo mama so ugly she tried to take a bath the water jumped out!\n\nYo mama so ugly she looks out the window and gets arrested!\n\nYo mama so ugly even Rice Krispies won't talk to her!\n\nYo mama so ugly Ted Dansen wouldn't date her!\n\nYo mama so ugly for Halloween she trick or treats on the phone!\n\nYo mama so ugly she turned Medusa to stone!\n\nYo mama so ugly The NHL banned her for life\n\nYo mama so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween!\n\nYo mama so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday!\n\nYo mama so ugly if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects!\n\nYo mama so ugly they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints\n\nYo mama so ugly she made an onion cry!\n\nYo mama so ugly people go as her for Halloween.\n\nYo mama so ugly that when she sits in the sand on the beach, cats try to bury her.\n\nYo mama so ugly she scares the roaches away.\n\nYo mama so ugly we have to tie a steak around your neck so the dog will play with her!\n\nYo mama so ugly I heard that your dad first met her at the pound.\n\nYo mama so ugly that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects.\n\nYo mama so ugly that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.\n\n\n---x---\n\n\nYo mama is so stupid:\n\n\nYo mama so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes\n\nYo mama so stupid when she saw the NC-17 (under 17 not admitted) sign, she went home and got 16 friends\n\nYo mama so stupid when your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon\n\nYo mama so stupid she told everyone that she was "illegitiment" because she couldn't read\n\nYo mama so stupid that she puts lipstick on her head just to make-up her mind\n\nYo mama so stupid she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl\n\nYo mama so stupid you have to dig for her IQ!\n\nYo mama so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved!\n\nYo mama so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 Minutes!\n\nYo mama so stupid that she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order!\n\nYo mama so stupid she could trip over a cordless phone!\n\nYo mama so stupid she sold her car for gasoline money!\n\nYo mama so stupid she bought a solar-powered flashlight!\n\nYo mama so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refun
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Is it okay if it isn't yo mama jokes?Becuase I only have one: Yo Mama so poor when she was kicking a can and I asked her, "What 'ja doin'," she answered, "moving"\n\nA man goes to the doctor with a long history of migraine headaches. When the doctor does his history and physical, he discovers that his poor patient has had practically every therapy known to man for his migraines and STILL no improvement. \n\n"Listen," says the Doc, "I have migraines too, and the advice I'm going to give you isn't really anything I learned in medical school, but it's advice that I've gotten from my own experience. When I have a migraine, I go home, get in a nice hot bathtub, and soak for a while. Then I have my wife sponge me off with the hottest water I can stand, especially around the forehead. This helps a little. Then I get out of the tub, take her into the bedroom, and even if my head is killing me, I force myself to have sex with her. Almost always, the headache is immediately gone. Now, give it a try, and come back and see me in six weeks." \n\nSix weeks later, the patient returns with a big grin. \n\n"Doc! I took your advice and it works! It REALLY WORKS! I've had migraines for 17 years and this is the FIRST time anyone has ever helped me!" \n\n"Well," says the physician, "I'm glad I could help." \n\n"By the way, Doc," the patient adds, "you have a REALLY nice house." \n\nWEIRD FACT OF THE DAY: The largest apple pie ever baked was forty by twenty three feet. \n\nON THIS DAY IN HISTORY: In 1919 1st issue of NY Daily News published. \n\nBORN ON THIS DAY: In 1956 - Chris Isaak (actor: Little Buddha, Silence of the Lambs, Married to the Mob, Twin Peaks; singer, songwriter: Wicked Game, Blue Hotel, LP: Silvertone). \n============================================================================================================================\n\n\n\n So there was an american, a black guy and a mexican that found a genie who granted them each a wish. The black guy asked that he and all of his brothers in America be taken back to their homeland of Africa, so the genie did it. The mexican asked that all of his people in America be brought back to their homes in Mexico, so the genie did that as well. Then the american said: "So you mean to tell me that all of the blacks and mexicans are gone?" and the genie replied "Yeah"; so the american said "Well then i'll have a coke." \n\n ============================================================================================================================\n\nA young man goes into a pharmacy and says to the\npharmacist, "Hello, could you give me condom.\nI'm going\nto my girlfriend's place for dinner and I think\nI may be in\nwith a chance!"\n\nThe pharmacist gives him the condom and the\nyoung man leaves. He soon returns and says, "Give me\nanother condom because my girlfriend's sister is very\ncute too. She always crosses her legs in a\nprovocative manner when she sees me and I think I might\nstrike it lucky there too."\n\nThe pharmacist gives him a second condom and as\nthe boy is leaving he turns back and says,"Go on,\ngive me one more condom because my girlfriend's mum is\nstill pretty cute and when she sees me she always\nmakes eyes, and since she invited me for dinner, think\nshe is expecting me to make a move!\n\nDuring dinner, the young man is sitting with his\ngirlfriend on his left, the sister on his right\nand the mum facing him.\n\nWhen the dad gets there, the boy lowers his head\nand starts praying, "Dear Lord, bless this dinner\nand thank you for all you give us."\n\nA minute later the boy is still praying; "Thank\nyou Lord for your kindness."\n\nTen minutes go by and the boy is still praying,\nkeeping his head down.\n\nThe others look at each other surprised and his\ngirlf
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yo mama teeth so yellow when she drinks water it turns to lemonade, yo mama teeth so yellow when she walks into church the choir starts to sing let it shine, let it shine, let it shineeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!! yo mama so fat it took me 4 trains, 3 bus and 1 truck to get on her good side. yo moma so fat when she went on the scale it said to be continued............ yo moma so fat when she step on a dollar she made change. yo moma house so small,when we order a large size pizza, we gat to eat it outside. yo moma so fat she had to wear plastic bag for church shoes. yo moma so fat i thought she was on slimfast.
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101? I ONLY HAVE MY BEST 3 JOKES...HOPE IT DOESN'T OFFEND U\n\n1\n\nFresh from her shower, a woman stands in front of the mirror complaining to her husband that her breasts are too small.\n\nInstead of characteristically telling her it's not so, the husband uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion. "If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between your breasts for a few seconds."\n\nWilling to try anything, the wife fetches a piece of toilet paper and stands in front of the mirror, rubbing it between her breasts.\n\n"How long will this take?" she asks.\n\n"They'll grow larger over a period of years," he replies.\n\nThe wife stops. "Why do you think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts everyday will make my breasts grow over the years?"\n\n"Worked for your butt, didn't it?"\n\nHe lived. And with a great deal of therapy, may even walk again..\n\n\n2\n\nMan driving down road.\nWoman driving up same road\nThey pass each other\nWoman yells out her window, "PIG!"\nMan yells out his window, "B.I.T.C.H!"\nMan rounds next curve\nCrashes into a huge pig in middle of road.\n\nThought For The Day : If only men would listen. \n\n\n3\n\nThe mother-in-law stopped unexpectedly by the recently married couple's \nhouse. She rang the doorbell and stepped into the house. She saw her \ndaughter-in-law standing naked by the door.\n\n"What are you doing?" she asked.\n\n"I'm waiting for my husband to come home from work," the \ndaughter-in-law \nanswered.\n\n"But you're naked!" the mother-in-law exclaimed.\n\n"This is my love dress," the daughter-in-law explained.\n\n"Love dress? But you're naked!"\n\n"My husband loves me to wear this dress! It makes him happy and it \nmakes me \nhappy. I would appreciate it if you would leave because he will be home \nfrom \nwork any minute."\n\nThe mother-in-law was tired of all this romantic talk and left. On the \nway \nhome she thought about the love dress. When she got home she undressed, \nshowered, put on her best perfume and waited by the front door. Finally \nher \nhusband came home. He walked in and saw her standing naked by the door.\n\n"What are you doing?" he asked.\n\n"This is my love dress" she replied.\n\n"Needs ironing." he said.\n\nHEHE>>HAVE FUN 2 YA GUYZ READING
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Please visit the following sites :\nhttp://www.ahajokes.com/yo_mama_jokes.html \nhttp://members.tripod.com/donaldchase/jokes/yomamma.html\nhttp://www.humorsphere.com/yo_mama/\nhttp://www.amazinghumor.com/jokes/yomamajokes/\nhttp://www.mommajoke.com/\nhttp://www.aardvarkarchie.com/jokes/yomamma/index.html\n...You'll find all you want !
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Yo' mama like a Big Mac -- full of fat and only worth a buck!\n\nYo Mama is like a bus, she's big she doesn't smell very good and it's only a dollar to ride.\n\nYo mama's so dumb, she stuck the phone up her ass and thought she was makin' a booty call.\n\nYo Mama is so fat, when she told me her weight I thought it was her phone number.
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yo mamas so stupid, she tried to put the MnMs in alphabetical order.\nyo mamas so fat, when she tried to go on a cruise, the whole ship sank.\nyo mamas so stupid, she thought Taco Bell was the mexican phone  company\nyo mamas so stupid, the only thing seperating her and the UPS man was the door\nyo mamas so stupid, on a job application, under "Sex" she put "Yes, please"\nyo mamas so stupid, her shirt had to say "TGIF" or This Goes In Front, \nor with shoes "Toes Go In Front\nyo mamas so stupid, she tried to go in to an NC-17 movie, and they wouldnt let her, so she went home and brought back 16 friends\nyo mamas so stupid, she wanted to see how much a Big Mac weighed, so she ate it and stepped on the scale
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This site has some great Yo Mama jokes\n\nhttp://www.daylon.com/yomama/
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Yo mama so stupid when your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon\nYo mama so ugly they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies.\nYo mama so fat when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE!\nJust a few :)
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i like your jokes, your funny!!
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lol, it was a very cheesey joke. . .but i laughed anyway lol, ive had a really bad day >_< i need jokes brign them on!! please??
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Ya mamas so fat she drives a spandex car.\nYa mamas breath smells so bad the ice cream man gave her a listerine popsicle.\nYa mamas so dumb she tried to wake up a sleeping bag.\nYa mama has 11 fingers and 15 toes and still can't count to 26.\nYa mamas boobs are so saggy they have rugburns.\nYa mamas so fat she uses two greyhound busses for roller skates.
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It's about time someone came up with a new blonde joke. This is hilarous. I would have never guessed what she was going to say at the end. Very good. I'll give you a 10 on the scale of 1-10. You also got a thumbs up. Great joke...got any more..?
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AM I FUNNY ENOUGH? HOPE SO...\n\n1\n\nFresh from her shower, a woman stands in front of the mirror complaining to her husband that her breasts are too small.\n\nInstead of characteristically telling her it's not so, the husband uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion. "If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between your breasts for a few seconds."\n\nWilling to try anything, the wife fetches a piece of toilet paper and stands in front of the mirror, rubbing it between her breasts.\n\n"How long will this take?" she asks.\n\n"They'll grow larger over a period of years," he replies.\n\nThe wife stops. "Why do you think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts everyday will make my breasts grow over the years?"\n\n"Worked for your butt, didn't it?"\n\nHe lived. And with a great deal of therapy, may even walk again..\n\n\n2\n\nMan driving down road.\nWoman driving up same road\nThey pass each other\nWoman yells out her window, "PIG!"\nMan yells out his window, "B.I.T.C.H!"\nMan rounds next curve\nCrashes into a huge pig in middle of road.\n\nThought For The Day : If only men would listen. \n\n\n3\n\nThe mother-in-law stopped unexpectedly by the recently married couple's \nhouse. She rang the doorbell and stepped into the house. She saw her \ndaughter-in-law standing naked by the door.\n\n"What are you doing?" she asked.\n\n"I'm waiting for my husband to come home from work," the \ndaughter-in-law \nanswered.\n\n"But you're naked!" the mother-in-law exclaimed.\n\n"This is my love dress," the daughter-in-law explained.\n\n"Love dress? But you're naked!"\n\n"My husband loves me to wear this dress! It makes him happy and it \nmakes me \nhappy. I would appreciate it if you would leave because he will be home \nfrom \nwork any minute."\n\nThe mother-in-law was tired of all this romantic talk and left. On the \nway \nhome she thought about the love dress. When she got home she undressed, \nshowered, put on her best perfume and waited by the front door. Finally \nher \nhusband came home. He walked in and saw her standing naked by the door.\n\n"What are you doing?" he asked.\n\n"This is my love dress" she replied.\n\n"Needs ironing." he said.\n\nHEHE>>HAVE FUN 2 YA GUYZ READING
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yo momma so fat when she went swimming at the gulf of Mexico and when she farted it was named hurricane Katrina \n\nyo momma so poor she walking down the street with on shoe and somebody goes up and asks her "hey, did u loose a shoe?" she says "no, i just found one!"\n\nyo momma so ugly she went to a haunted house and she came out with a job application \n\nYo mama's so stupid, she saw a billboard that said "Dodge Trucks" and she started ducking through traffic. \n\nYo mama's so stupid, when she took you to the airport and a sign said "Airport Left," she turned around and went home. \n\nYo mama's so ugly, she could only be Yo mama.\n\nYo mama's so ugly, people go as her for Halloween\n\nYo mama's so fat, when she gets in an elevator, it HAS to go down.\n\nYo mama's so old, when she was in school there was no history class. \n\nyo mama's so stupid she used deodorant as her lipstick and she keeps saying " why doesn't my new jumbo lipstick work?"\n\nyo mama's like a wooden board flat, hard, and easy to nail!
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Hey baby u r fine ill give u some jokes:\nYo mama so nasty she made speed stick slow down.\n\nYo mama so nasty she brings crabs to the beach.\n\nYo mama so nasty she made right guard turn left.\n\nYo mama so nasty the fishery be paying her to leave\n\nYo mama so nasty she has to creep up on bathwater.\n\nYo mama so nasty that pours salt water down her pants to keep her crabs fresh.\n\nYo mama so nasty I called her to say hello, and she ended up giving me an ear infection.\nYo mama so fat when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up\n\nYo mama so fat her nickname is "Lardo"\n\nYo mama so fat she eats Wheat Thicks.\n\nYo mama so fat were in her right now\n\nYo mama so fat people jog around her for exercise\n\nYo mama so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone\n\nYo mama so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors\n\nYo mamma so fat you haveta roll over twice to get off her...\n\nYo mama so fat she was floating in the ocean and spain claimed her for then new world\n\nYo mama so fat she lay on the beach and people run around yelling Free Willy\n\nYo mama so fat when you get on top of her your ears pop!\n\nYo mama so fat when she has wants someone to shake her hand, she has to give directions!\n\nYo mama so fat she goes to a resturant, looks at the menu and says "okay!"\n\nYo mama so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people said "Taxi!"\n\nYo mama so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptized\n\nYo mama so fat she got to iron her pants on the driveway\n\nYo mama so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller\n\nYo mama so fat she got to pull down her pants to get into her pockets\n\nYo mama so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave, she landed on 12th\n\nYo mama so fat when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too\n\nYo mama so fat the highway patrol made her wear "Caution! Wide Turn"\n\nYo mama so fat when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE!\n\nYo mama so fat when she steps on a scale, it read "one at a time, please"\n\nYo mama so fat when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo.\n\nYo mama so fat she fell in love and broke it.\n\nYo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.\n\nYo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says we don't do livestock.\n\nYo mama so fat her neck looks like a pair of hot dogs!\n\nYo mama so fat she's got her own area code!\n\nYo mama so fat she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagon!\n\nYo mama so fat God couldn't light Earth until she moved!\n\nYo mama so fat NASA has to orbit a satellite around her!\n\nYo mama so fat whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in!\n\nYo mama so fat when she plays hopscotch, she goes New York, L.A., Chicago...\n\nYo mama so fat she's got Amtrak written on her leg.\n\nYo mama so fat even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction!\n\nYo mama so fat her legs is like spoiled milk - white & chunky!\n\nYo mama so fat I had to take a train and two buses just to get on the her good side!\n\nYo mama so fat she wakes up in sections!\n\nYo mama so fat when she goes to an amusement park, people try to ride HER!\n\nYo mama so fat she sat on a quarter and a booger shot out of george washington's nose.\n\nYo mama so fat she rolled over 4 quarters and it made a dollar!\n\nYo mama so fat when she lies on the beach no one else gets sun!\n\nYo mama so fat when she bunje jumps she goes straight to hell!\n\nYo mama so fat when she jumps up in the air she gets stuck!!!\n\nYo mama so fat she's got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book!\n\nYo mama so fat that her senior pictures had to be arial views!\n\nYo mama so fat she's on both sides of the family!\n\nYo mama so fat everytime she walks in high heels, she strikes oil!\n\nYo mama so fat she fell and made the Grand Canyon!\n\nYo mama so fat she sat on the beach and Greenpeace threw her in!\n\nYo mama so fat even her clothes have stretch marks
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LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!!!\n\nIt's such an A M A Z I N G Joke :)\n\nGreat one Gurl!\n\nWe Want More, We Want More!