Help! My best friend is in a bad relationship!?
539924
Show her the following web page. If she can answer yes to any of it, it's time to get out. It doesn't have to be physical!!!\n\nhttp://www3.telus.net/KWRC/whatisabuse.html
518299
People find it difficult to leave someone if they truly care about them. My best advice is to be a good friend to her, be there for her. If she realizes that he's bad for her, then support her decision if she wants to break it off. That's all you can do
734820
the fault is with both of them definitely. but the fault is mostly with your best friend.\n\ncome on! if she was your "best friend" she would Not hit on him. by doing that, she has absolutely no respect for you. if she can do it once, she can do it again. this might not be even the first time. she obviously doesn't treat you as her best friend or she is just too selfish to have anyone in her life apart from herself. you deserve a better friend than her.\n\nand john is definitely at fault too. he was supposed to be with you but he cheated on you with your Best Friend!! he should have some self control. even if he wanted to hook up with your best friend in the first place, he should have the decency to tell you that it is over between the both of you. this is not the kind of guy you would want to spend your time with. the fact that he can cheat on you in your bed speaks volumes of the kind of degenerate person he is.\n\nyou should just shut them out of your life.
1125597
relationships at this age don't last long! Don't make her break up with him. You'll look jealous. Let her enjoy the attention. it won't last forever. It may be annoying, but if you are really her best friend you will support her
912439
Sounds like she isn't too secure in her relationship..Why should you not be able to talk to your best freind?...Miss Merry Sunshine will just have to get over it ...don't you think so...Nothing wrong with him being freinds with you
934238
I just got over a relationship where my best friend (who was also his x girlfriend) and him kept staying friends. I didnt really let him know how much it bothered me, but now that i look back, it totally bothered me... and now that were not together, im so glad its over because that issue was so annoying, not worth dealing with. Tell him to loose her and if he can't, drop him!
262509
Sorry but this sounds like a Jerry Springer episode.  I can tell you that your boyfriend doesn't love you, because if he did he would never have gone out with your best friend.  And as for your best friend, they are a dime a dozen.  She was never really your best friend to begin with if she has the galls to do this to you. You don't need this.  There are many men out there that are trustworthy and honest so don't let these two backstabbers get you down.  You control your own life to have them make you think otherwise. \n\nRise above it and break all contact with them.  They will someday hurt each other or wind up getting hurt the same way as they hurt you.  Remember what goes around comes around that is a fact.  If you let them both back in then they may think that they can get away with it any time they want and you still will end up hurting or later emotionally scarred.
291542
It sounds to me like you need a new best friend.\nIf he acts like that toward you then he is NOT a friend.\n\nI doubt if he will change back to how he used to be.  I've never heard of THAT happening.\n\nSince the two of you were freinds for SO long, that tells me that YOU are a great friend to have.\n\nIt should be VERY easy to replace him with someone who will appreciate having you as their friend.\n\nLeave the loser alone, move on and find new freinds so you can go back to being happy!
622189
That's a tough one!\n\nI was actually in that situation about a year and a half ago. I tried to tell her that her man was downtown with some skinny blond girl sitting in his lap, basically all over him. She bascially said that I was jealous that she had such a good long-term relationship with such a great guy and that I was making things up to try to break them up because I didn't like him.\n\nWe didn't talk for a while. Then she started to see that maybe he wasn't the right guy for her. Then he broke up with her (even though they called it mutual) right after christmas (as in, before new years!). She still thinks that he's a great guy and that any woman would be lucky to be dating him! And after all of the things that he did to her (he ruined her credit, helped hig dig herself into a massive debt hole, and basically made her so dependant on him that she couldn't make her own decisions. He even had her stop hanging out with her best friends of oever 10 years!) she still thinks that he's a wonderful guy and that he never really meant to hurt her and that they will be friends till the day that they die because they are so close.\n\nSo I guess what I have learned is that sometimes people do want to shoot the messenger. But that doesn't mean that you should stay silent about something you know is going on. Another friend of mine found out that her long-term boyfriend had been cheating on her for months - from the time that she went away to university and he stayed in their small town - and she was the last one to know about it.\n\nBasically, get your facts straight first. Are you sure that the woman wasn't his sister?Cousin? or other family member? Are you also sure that they were on a 'date'? Could it have been innocent?\n\nThen, drop a line to your pal like 'hey, I saw ________ at ______ the other day with a really professional looking woman. Is he applying for a new job or something?'\nMAke it sound casual and off-hand. Then drop it. Chances are, if she doesn't know who the woman was, she'll ask him about it the next time she talks to him.\n\nOr you could also ask her if they broke up and when. And when she asks you why or says no, tell her you saw her man doing something that an attached man shouldn't be so that she can confront him with the news.
272262
It is so good and loving of you to be so concerned for your friend and want to help her through this difficult time. I think you are a great friend and she is lucky to have you for a friend.\n\nNow, the best thing you can do for her is to listen. Listen while she poors out her hurt and disapointment in the end of this relationship. It is difficult on so many levels to get dumped, especially by somebody who is not her equel and who was mean to her. It is obvious she is suffering from some low self esteem. Prop her up and let her know how wonderfull she is, but do not say anything about the breakup except if she asked you a direct question.\n\nThe best gift we can give our friends is an listening ear, a shoulder to cry on, and without judgement or harsh words about this guy who has hurt her so deeply. If you say anything negitive at this point she will become defensive and not want to be around you. She needs to come to the realization that this was not a good relationship on her own time. She will if she is allowed to express her feelings without getting a lot of "advice" from well meaning friends. If she takes him back she won't forget all the negitive things you said about her "love" and she won't forgive you for saying it either. It makes a person feel that their judgement is being questioned and that friends don't really think she can make good judgements about her own life. Even if it is true that this relationship is not a good one, she needs to realize that in her own time. \n\nIncourage her to go out with you and do some fun activities. Don't try to "fix" her up with anybody yet. She is not ready for that. She needs time to heal from this wound. If you keep listening to her and taking her out for fun activities she will eventually start becoming more involved with her own life and begin to heal. Then she will be more ready to look at differant men as potential dating material and boyfriend material.\n\nIf she continues to make poor choices in who she dates and becomes involved with, then perhaps you should assist her in increasing her feelings of self worth. Tell her what you love and like about her, what streangths she has, her skills you admire. She needs to hear that she is valued and seen in a positive light. \n\nGood luck in helping your friend. I am glad she has a friend like you in her life. She is lucky to have somebody as supportive and loving as you. I wish you happiness and health too. :-)
870617
If your best friend is going out with him, then she's not a very good friend is she? If she's not, she respects you a lot. Be there for her when the guy dumps her for someone else, and if that someone is you, remember what happened, and tell him to find someone else's heart to break.
1137239
Hi Tiera,   well it sounds like this guy is a real jerk. Not trying to be mean or anything just going by everything you said.  Now, as far as your friend goes I believe that you should stick to your guns and be there for her.  If you havent done so already,  I think you should tell her all about this guy and just prepare her for what you might think will happen. Don't try to make her break up with him per say,  but just let her know that you are telling her these things because she is your friend and you dont want to see her hurt.  Thats really all you can do at this point.  Sometimes in life in order for someone realize what they get themselves into they have to learn the hard way.  The only thing you can do is just assure her that you will be there for her no matter what.  She will appreciate you more down the road when she realizes she was wrong and you were right.  Stick to you guns hun, and dont abandon your friend because this is when she is gonna need you the most.  Good luck with everything...........
1020083
Dont ever loose someone for someone else.  If both parties are that close to you - you can come to some agreement between them.  See your friend  - then see your girl.  Let them both know how you feel.  Whichever one is willing to work out the situation is really there for you.  Hopefully they will both understand - you dont all have to hang out together at the same time.  True friends are hard to come by.  They are there for you to the end...But when a relationship goes bad - who do you turn to?  If it is her asking you to give up your friend....tell her no way.  If it is him asking you to give her up - find out why
102574
don't take him away from her it makes you the bad guy.\n\nbest friend's friendships shattered over me
418304
This always seems to happen. Best friends are best friends because they like the same things...including guys. She isn't doing it to hurt you, she can't help the way she feels. I think you should talk to your boyfriend about it. See if he has any friends that she may be interested in. If you have a strong, open relationship with your friend, maybe you could talk to her & find out her intentions, tell her how much he means to you & warn her what it could do to your friendship if she tries anything on with him. Don't be mean about it though, not unless she intends to steal him from you.
1025371
Try to spend time with both of them separately. You can't make them like each other and you can't make them be friends. learn how you can balance your time between the two of them so you can keep both friends. I am in a similar situation with my best friend and his new girlfriend. She and I don't get along so he makes sure that he spends time with both of us. Just manage your time well and things will  be OK. Good luck!
955973
You know I've been in this same situation. It's really hard to deal with if you guys are so close. I just let my friend be and went to hang out with other people. I would call her and invite her places but she always turned me down because she had already made plans with her new man. This went on for about three months. When she called one day I told her. I'm not mad at you anymore but I would like for you to know that what you did really hurt me. We had been friends for five years and this guy comes and now you act like I don't exist. She apologized and we started hanging out again. Some people just get caught up in situations and forget about the feelings of others. You just have to put yourself in her shoes. If you were in a new relationship you might do the same thing to her. It's something new and right at this time you're just caught up in it. As long as you talk to her and tell her how you feel about it she should make it a point to try and share her time between the two of you. If she just blows you off then she wasn't a good friend to begin with and you'd be better off finding someone who cares about you and what your feelings are. Good luck with it. I hope she comes around.