why does my partner,what to stay friends with the girl that she had a affair with. and expect me not to get ma
537644
I think your partner is trying to hold on to her old relationship with her friend just, as in your assumption. I also feel that relationship is about compromise and if your girlfriend really loves you she will respect how you feel and cut things off. Even if it is just a "friendship".  I think she needs to cut things off for you relationship to work. She has already betrayed your trust and wants you to standby her while she continues a friendship and your wondering if they are just friends. My advice is that you should tell her that it really hurts you that she wants to remain friends with her ex lover and that it is hurting your relationship . Also if she isn't willing to compromise then maybe you should leave her. It's not fair to you to hang around and wonder if she is going to hurt you again. You need to know she wants to work things out. Go with your instinct and gut feelings and everything will work out.\n\nBest of luck
412497
i tried staying friends with my ex. Seems whenever he was alone then I was OK but whenever he met someone then I was not. If you still love her then I would suggest not staying friends it is heartbreaking every time they find someone new. Then one day they will decide to marry and they will not want to stay friends.  Better to let go now rather than having heart broke time and time again.
444807
First of all Thank you for serving our country! If you want to save this relationship you will have to work on the trust issue. But I would be concerned about her cheating again. Follow your heart.
1095702
If  your not  in  a relationship  then  your not  having an  affair ..   that  can  get ugly  i guess you cant help  how you feel .. I mean  if you  have feelings for this guy  maybe  u needa ask  yourself  who u   treasure  more as a  friend  him  or the girl ? cuz  once she finds  out   dont count  on being  any  friend  of hers .. i personally would never date any  guy  my friend has been with  or  whatever  but to  each  there    own .. I guess do  what  makes you  happy  .. your  all  adults   no  reason to  sneak  around  just  keep  it real thats really all  you  can do .. .. its sad when   kids are  involved  ..follow your heart  good  luck  to you   all
417293
Sure it counts as an affair but let me ask you this, are you a Yo-Yo? I mean she sends you away for 5 months and then all of a sudden has some Epiphany or a string and you come rolling back up it and she wants you back and then you are suppose to kick people out of your life and go back with her? Does she have your testicles in a jar and is holding them for ransom or did you get caught cheating on her in the beginning and that's what caused all this I want a divorce crap? Something tells me you are not giving us the whole story here Bud!!
173136
try to be strong , no matter what the situation might be, u shouldn't try to be with yr friend's ex, trust me it will definitely bring beef among u. forge ahead and u'll find someone else
796068
i can see why im confused to.it sounds like she saying dont worry we will f*ck if anything. just try not to get attached till you  figure her out just dont waste to much of your time.it sounds like a game.she probably has another on the side and wants to see who can offer her more. in that case the good guy always loses.
635137
nothing spoils faster than jealousy.  She may feel like she has to compete with you.  Back away for awhile.  Eventually she will come back around and if she doesn't she wasn't your real friend anyway.  And ignore the part with the ex---you have already had him and obviously hes not worth your time.  No worries!!!!!!!!!!!
927430
YOU NEED TO LET HER GO...~~SORRY ~~ SHE IS MARRIED. \nNEITHER OF YOU HAD THE RIGHT TO START SOMETHING LIKE THIS. JUST PUT YOURSELF IN HER HUSBANDS SHOES" YOU WOULD NOT WANT YOUR WIFE TO TREAT YOU THIS WAY ."\n I DON'T SEE HOW YOU CAN STAY FRIENDS EITHER WHEN FRIENDSHIP IS BASED ON TRUST AND RESPECT..\n\nIF SHE REALLY WANTS TO BE WITH YOU THEN SHE WILL FILE DIVORCE PAPERS AND GET RE-INVOLVED WITH YOU WHEN SHE GETS HER LIFE IN ORDER.\nWILL YOU BE ABLE TO TRUST EACH OTHER GIVEN THE FACT SHES A CHEATER AND YOU CROSSED OVER THE LINE????\n\nWHAT YOU NEED TO CALL THIS RELATIONSHIP IS OVER.... BEFORE MORE PEOPLE GET HURT.
465928
He's probably getting suspicious of you thinking you're wanting to get involved romantically with her.   You might want to only hang out with her around other people.
932498
Your not going to mess things up, find security. You said that you started out as friends.Just don't change at all. Don't you see that she is happy with you?
1138207
Are either of you involved with or married to other people?  So the separate lives you mention, do they include other romantic partners?  If so, maybe she is already involved with someone? Perhaps she intends to keep the "friendship" (between the 2 of you) just a friendship, (only).  If both of you are unattached, then make arrangements to be in the same country, and declare  your feelings face to face!\n\nGood luck!
386064
Do what you want to do since it seems like you're already there. Maybe there's a reason why your wife wants you to go. So then she reassured that your away from the other woman in your life. Or maybe she has a lover that she wants to spend time with. Your mistress probably doesn't want you to go cause you'll have time to think about your relationship with her and make a choice of either her or your wife, or she's scared that you'll cheat on her like you do your wife. You know how the saying goes, "Once a cheater, always a cheater". Either way ......
65786
Depends - are you having issues in your relationship? Is he still romantically involved with her? Do you trust him?\n\nIt's entirely possible to just be friends with someone of the opposite sex - even someone you've been in a relationship with. On the other hand, if he seems to be getting involved with her again, you probably need to figure out what's going on, and why.\n\nI'd be happy to tell you what to do - but I'm just an anonymous stranger on the internet. All I can tell you is that you should ask him what he's doing with her. If you don't trust him to give you an honest answer, then I think you have bigger issues than who he's talking to.
937664
LET GO.  She is never going to leave him.  Why leave if she can have you both?  There's obviously something in you that she is missing from the other man (and vice versa) which is why she keeps you both around.  Aside from this, if she does leave him, how can you ever trust that she won't cheat on you when she gets "bored" with you?  I think you deserve much more than this.  Get out now and find a quality woman with more respect for herself (and for you) than to sleep with 2 men and deceive them both.  If you thought more of yourself, you would certainly not put up with this for another day.  You should demand more than to be "the number 2 choice" to anyone.
709221
no she shouldn't have an affair if he doesn't get the picture then she isn't comming right out and saying it and you telling her to have an affair....you are some friend.
186709
WHOA! You should defintaly try to explain yourself again and make her understand. I would be furiuos if my girlfriend stayed at her Exs for a week. Thats totally uncalled for and you have every right to be pissed. I mean theyre Exs for a reason right? Yea man thats definatly not cool, and if she insists on keeping contact with the Ex then maybe theres still some latent feelings towards him. If she doesnt get it, then tell her that her still talking with him is directly effecting your relationship and could possibly be the downfall of it as well. Godd luck with that man.