Help With grief please?
543570
You say you have a new man, if you have you owe it to him to pull yourself together. You needed time to grieve and it doesn't happen over night or from a bottle. Loosing someone from your life is painful, in my experience the most painful thing I have ever had to endure, reminders don't help but they don't go away and you need to look and then dismiss. It will get easier, that's what I keep telling myself and in my position I work with my lover of three years so I get a daily reminder that I wasn't good enough. You need to refocus your energy only concentrate on the good things, accept that from time to time he will pop up accept the thought then find something else to think about....like your new man if you don't make an effort this relationship is also doomed.
342548
That's a tough situation and I'm so sorry for your loss. You should definitely talk openly about this with other family members and friends. You should also consider seeing your doctor for depression. Since you can't bring your mom back, try to focus on how to celebrate her. Put together a memorial with her pictures, hobbies and guest speakers. Did she have any dreams? Live out some of her fantasies for her. Feel her passion and feel her spirit inside you. The mourning period needs some closure so you can move on with your life. Try talking with more people like teachers, counselors, and even strangers. Cry a lot. Also...go ahead and talk to your mom. Ask her for advice and let your heart guide you. But don't ever give up!
463660
I'm very sorry for your losses. Allow yourself to grieve, even if you have to be strong for everyone else. Find someone you can talk about it with, even if they only listen. Find a friend to talk to that has lost someone and can understand how you are feeling. You could also find an online chat for people dealing with a loss. I hope things get better.
523286
This will bring some tears, thanks for the blessings , but of course when your lose someone you know has known you all your life and has loved you for all you done good and forgave or protected you as you didn't do the right thing at times.One of my sister is a drunk since our mom passed away , another calls and cries every mothers day and on what was our mom's birthday . One calls me and we will laugh at the times we had with our mom. I just take one call at a time and silently say Ilove you to her and say I miss you ! But painful yes, I remember all the pain she had with cancer and welcomed her death as she had . She said Dealth is something we all will face ,but she sure was going to miss all of you and I love you.She died years ago yet the pain is as it happened today . She was my freind as well as a great women and wonderful mom .She'll aways be loved and missed .
1115218
Allow yourself the time to grieve, but don't let it consume you to the point where you are in a rut of self pity.  Tyler would have wanted you to go on with your life.  If you find yourself reaching the "feeling sorry for yourself" stage, then get out of the house, and find something to do.  Talk to others about it, especially those who also knew Tyler.  There is always a balance one needs to achieve when in this situation.  Do not deny the hurt you're feeling, but, at the same time, don't let that hurt overtake you to the point where you just shut down and don't care about life anymore.  Again, ask yourself, what would Tyler had wanted you to do?  \n\nI am deeply sorry about your loss.  My prayers will be with you.  May God give you his strength and comfort during your time of grief.
443682
You don't.....\n\nWe lost our daughter 4 years ago.  There really isn't anything you can do to make it go away.  But, as foreign as the notion seems now, it becomes less painful over time.\n\nWe actually ended up moving because I saw her everywhere.  We made a fresh start in another house in another city.  I think that was the beginning of the "better" for me.  I wasn't driving by the hospital she died in anymore, I didn't see her laying on the couch, playing in the yard.\n\nMost of it is in your heart.  You have to figure out the way that makes this okay for your own peace.  Can you see past how much you miss her to realizing that she is no longer in pain?  Can you reconcile it with your religion or spiritual beliefs?  Can you let her go?\n\nIn time you will have more peaceful thought and memories, and the tears that stream down your face every time you hear name will be replaced with a little smile.\n\nBetter days are coming.  I am so sorry for all you have been dealt.  I can honestly say that I know what you're going through........ and you are in my prayers.  If you want someone to talk to... I'm here.
1161714
you have to talk to someone... that's odd...\nI'm sorry about your loss... and I know it's a really hard thing to go through and deal with... but you have to hang in there and get some help...
530913
I'm so sorry you've lost someone important to you.  I've been there before myself.  Tomorrow will be the first anniversary of my mother's death in a hospice.  She suffered so much before she died that it tore my heart out, but she's with her Lord and Saviour now, and happy at last.  Time will improve things for you.  It's the only thing that helped me.  Try to do things you enjoy to distract yourself from the pain.  Even that can take a great effort, but you have to keep trying. If you do, I promise you that things will get better as time moves on.  May God Bless You!
305275
I am feeling for you today - I lost two people, unrelated back to back last Wed and Thursday..its been brutal its been one of the worse weeks of my entire life and I too am feeling..have I done enough?? And yes..I have...\n\nAll you can do is be there for him. Talk to him, or dont talk when he doesn't want to. You can call him and ask how he is doing, you can take him to dinner and take his mind off of it and give him a sense of normalcy and a few minutes of a reprieve from the sadness, you can bake a lasagna and bring it to his house so he doesn't have to worry about cooking..\n\nBut believe me - your friendship is enough. that you are caring and going through it with him..\n\nMy friend who lost his in utero baby at 5 months said to me..We are on the first rung of the grieving ladder - at the very top..and you are right behind us on the second..\n\ndamn straight I am..I'm holding their legs and keeping them steady on the first rung and will catch them if they go to fall...as will you with your friend.\n\nJust be there..its enough. take care and hang in there.
242491
I'm sorry for your loss.  It's going to take some time to get yourself back to feeling normal again.  You should keep yourself busy with activities, visit with your friends, try a grieving support group, take up a hobby, find things that interests you, talk to a good friend or someone you haven't seen in a while.
121050
Listen, be there for him. I just lost my dad, and the best thing for me is to keep busy. Try to get him back into his routines. Too much time on your hands makes you think too much, although he does have to grieve in his own way.  It would be nice for him to have some of his friends visit or call. Just make sure he doesn't withdraw too much. You sound like a good friend. I hope this helps.
9224
Express your grief and then move on.  Stop living in the past, you can not change that.  Become more aware of what is going on around you right now.
172114
I have kinda been there before. My hubbies mom passed away and it was horrible. What you can do is just be there for him. Maybe you and your bf can spend the day with him and make it a day no one will forget. Sometimes all you can do is be quiet and listen to what they have to say. It helps. Good luck I hope that it all works out for you.
237230
Time.  That's what you need.  It always seems to hurt a little less.  Don't pretend the person is not gone, but.... don't dwell on it either.  Make sure to stay in contact with those that you love for support.  Those that care for you will come through NOW- more than ever.
285372
I am so sorry to hear about your loss.  Whatever you do - do something.  No matter how insignifcant whatever you do may seem to you at the moment - it will mean more than you can imagine to the family.  They understand the distance in miles associated with this loss.  God bless you and yours at this time!
275430
There's nothing you can say that will really make your friend feel better so - just LISTEN.  \n\nJust being there with someone in mourning makes a huge difference.
621561
im sorry i dont have any resources but im soo sorry to hear what happened. it is ok for grieving. we all grieve different ways and it can take loong periods of time to get over that. well of course, when someone loses something precious like a child, then there will be some loong time grief. try google search or talk to someone professional or someone who can listen and give advice. talk to your church/church pastor. im def. sure he/she will listen and may give good advice.