Can You Be A Good Dad And A Stoner?
549920
One of the best guys I know used to be a huge stoner and is still known to light one up from time to time but the the guy is one hell of a father and he would never run out on his kids. Every one is different you could have a normal non-smoking nice guy run out on his kids and kill a hooker. You could have a stoner go nutts and kill everyone. I don't agree with what a lot of you people have said you pass judgment when you don't ever know the people. It's the person not the drugs they do or the wrong they have done in the past. Everyone has a few problems or bad habits so none of you can say that the guy would be bad with his kids because of a bad habit. If he is a good guy then he will be a good dad.
106601
Wow, I'm sorry to hear that he's smoking.  I started smoking when I was 12 when they still sold to minors thinking we were getting them for our parents.  I also started drinking beer shortly thereafter.  I didn't try pot until after my freshman year in High School.  I never really did any of these things to excess, but many of the people I knew did.  \n\nWhat finally got me to quit was my roommate during my freshman year in college (18 years old).  I had elected to have a smoking roomie because I wanted to be able to smoke in the room.  But she smoked a lot more than me and they were menthol and the whole room reeked and it made me sick.  So for me, it was over-exposure to smoke.  On the other hand, I kept drinking and getting high sometimes.  It took a while before I realized that these were also a waste of time and money.\n\nNow I have a son who's 14.  His dad died of alcohol and drug abuse before he turned 40.  My son has seen first hand the negative effects of drugs and alcohol, and he does group cigarettes in the same classification as alcohol and drugs.  I started talking to him about it at a very young age, and continue to do so.  He now has friends who smoke, drink and get high.  He tries to get them to quit.  \n\nBut sometimes my son says that he believes it's his destiny to follow in his father's footsteps because he's so much like him in other ways.  My response is that the traits he shares with his father are inherited - like his body's build, and his hairy legs and even his voice and facial expressions -- but I tell him that his behavior is his choice and the only thing that he really has control over, so he does NOT have to follow his father's path.\n\nI suggest that you start by considering your son's motivation to smoke.  Does he do it to fit in or look cool?  or is he rebelling against you and trying to piss you off?  If it's the first reason - that he's looking for a group where he feels like he belongs, try to encourage his interests that might keep him too busy to have time to smoke.  My son LOVES basketball, so he has his friends there and they don't smoke because it could hurt their game (although some of them drink and/or get high occasionally), so for the most part, he's accepted in that group.  It may take an investment of time and money on your part - but he's your son!  I recall when my son tried-out for an AAU traveling team a year ago.  One of his oldest friends tried-out too, and he played quite well.  This was one of the kids that my son was trying to get to quit smoking and partying (he would hang out and drive around with 18 year-olds and he was only 14).  His mom wouldn't let him join the team, because it would cost around $400.00 over the course of the season.  My son was really upset that this woman would choose to allow her son to smoke and get in cars with 18 year-olds, as opposed to spending a few hundred dollars to help him get involved in a healthy activity!  She wouldn't have had to drive that often, because we were right in the same neighborhood - I'd have provided transportation.  But anyway, I digress...  (sorry)\n\nIf your son's motivation comes from rebelling against you, it will probably be harder for you to address.  Pretty much anything you say will be tuned out, and he may want to defy you even more.  His rebellion stems from a dynamic that's been developing over several years, so it won't go away overnight.  \n\nStart by being honest:  I love you and it hurts me to see you smoking and doing harm to yourself.  Then try to explore the motivation and possible acceptable alternatives from there.  Don't talk down to him, and don't make demands.  This is one situation where it will help to start treating him like he's his own person.  You and I know he's got a long way to go, but remember how sure you were of things at that age and what fools you thought your parents were?  So addres
22204
He surely need to quit...as smoking is not only bad for both of you, but it is bad for your children, the example on how a father should behave & many other issue, plus smoking is actually kind of selfish act and costly too!\n\nbut i do really happy you said "We want to have him quit smoking before we get married" i really wish you two will have happy life in future that not included smoking as part of it...so may he sucuess!
458140
give em a toke or sip
481216
One thing it is illegal no matter if he smokes every once in a while or if he smokes it all the time. There is a reason that it is illegal it is not good for you. Even thoug he is 18 his parents still can make a impact on his life parents are usually role modles in kids lives. If his father is a pastor he will definetly show a concern and want to give his son help that he needs. If you are having these thoughts that  it is not okay then you need to go with your intuition and act on it.
34024
Long-term abuse might lead to some problems. You should not get dumb from smoking the stuff occasionally though. My best advice however would be not to bother with the stuff at all. Try video games, girls, and excelling at your studies instead!
427661
Well, My boyfriend and I smoke weed everyday and it has not effected us in a bad way at all, other than spending some of our weekly "extra" cash, it doesn't drain out pockets. We have a flourishing relationship, our bills are paid, my daughter is doing well in pre-school, and NO she is not around when we smoke, she is sleeping or away and we smoke in a designated spot in the house. I think it all depends on the psychological state of that person, and not on the drug itself. I think if you enjoy smoking, thats fine, some people enjoy a glass of wine after work, whats the difference? As long as it does not effect your finances or social life, have fun while you are young and can afford to do these things.
1115404
No, I've been smoking weed since I was 13 and I'm 34 now and had 3 kids and it never affected my fertility.
953572
Well Mathyu I wish you could grow your own legally. I would be growing my own legally too if I could. I just went to Jack Herer's website and will be spending some time later reading more of it. Previously I was unaware of cannabis' ability to turn back the hands of time for Alzheimer's patients. My mom died of complications from Alzheimer's Disease I wish I had known then that there was a way to help her to keep from losing parts of herself.\nI could certainly use the $ but I don't think from what I've read so far that I would want to prove Jack wrong.\nWe'll talk again I'm sure.\nLL
668878
i think my dad is great.  he has the unconditional love thing down.  he sacrificed to give his kids all he could, and went without many times.  i almost lost him 4 years ago, and all i have to say i do as much and as often as i can.  mostly i say thank you and i love you!
612381
i must agree with Andy.when people are under the influence of drugs they are unable to properly prioritize. in his mind there is nothing that comes before the need to get high. and until he makes up his mind to do something about it there is nothing that u can do except get tough! don't be an enabler by allowing him to be in and out of your life at his convenience. since he has chosen drugs, you hafta choose your child and your sanity and leave him alone until he has gone through a program and ATLEAST 6 months of sobriety. \np.s. remember that even if he does get clean, he will ALWAYS be an addict. consider that before u allow him back into your life.
977562
no my bf uses them too. and we are about to be done with. drugs are very addictive and will ruin your family. Things will only get worse for you-I can almost garauntee that. Leave him as hard as it might be-you will be better without him. And he is not a good dad for your daughter the way he is. She will see this and probably pick guys like this for herself one day because its what shes always seen. do you want that for her?
363122
Tee hee, silly stoner...
987357
Any male can be a father.  It takes a man to be a dad.  Always being there for the child, always putting your interests aside and making sacrifices are the things "dads" are made out of...
781341
NOt a good idea. The smoking of weed is linked with this type of mental disorder - and is a potential cause of it not a cure
152716
No, absolutely not! It can increase the chance of low birth weight, SIDS, Cerebral Palsy, etc. I know it's hard to quit, I smoke myself-but I quit when I was pregnant, then after I had my daughter, we smoked outside. Second hand smoke is just as bad as first hand. Quit for your baby!!!!
777285
Hubby and I are giving up smoking - this time for good! I want to be around when my kids are older - it's the best motivation I can possibly have.