My wife was murdered this past weekend...when is it ok for me to move on sexually???
543071
You need to wait at least a week, she could get better.
218581
Honey, I know how that hurts. It happened to me with my marriage. I ended up divorced. It does no good to try to pick up the pieces with someone who no longer loves you. You need to just let her go. I know how hard it is but you do get over it in time. Give yourself some time to heal and then think about dating again. It won't be easy but you'll get through it day by day. God will help you and so will we. You can always find a friend here on YA. If you need to talk, my email is on my profile. You're in my prayers, Sweetie. God speed.
1056112
First of all, let me tell you that I am sorry for your loss. \n\nSecondly, it is important that you focus on what your husband would want you to do. Do you think he would want you to wallow in self-pity or guilt? Absolutely not!!\n\nNot that I'm advocating jumping into the dating scene, but let your friends and family help you out. Allow them to take you out for dinners or hikes, invite you places, and be there as support. \n\nThirdly, congratulate yourself daily on having a son heroic enough to join the military. \n\nFourth, concentrate on getting through each day. One day at a time. It might behoove you to join a grief therapy group. That way you can share your sorrows with others who are in a similar situation. \n\nRead the book by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross on the stages of death. It applies to the dying as well as the living. \n\nAgain, my sympathies and I wish you luck on your journey!
574333
You know forgiveness is a difficult thing.  I think if you are feeling it, you should do it.  It will be a lot easier to move on.  And really, how long does a person need to be punished for something wrong they have done?  I am not spiritual at all or even religious.  But a lot of people believe we will answer to a greater power once we leave this earth.  If you believe that, then there is no good reason why you need to carry around animosity for your mom.  You are an adult now and if she doesn't feel sorry now, she never will.  But I am sure she feels guilty and that is a punishment she will live with until death and then she will deal with whatever, after.  I think it takes a big person to forgive someone of such a huge thing as a mom leaving her babies.  My dad left my mom before I was born and then claimed I wasn't his.  It was a huge court battle and it was finally discovered he is in fact my biological father.  At age 18 he decided he wanted me back in his life.  I couldn't do it.  I wasn't ready.  I am a mother now and I have forgiven him and moved on.  He is now dying of liver failure and wishes he had more time with me...I am his only daughter.  So, he is being punished.  But not by me...but by himself and knowing that he did wrong.  Good luck to you.  You will make the decision best for you.
206551
In this world of AIDS, we are living in, its good you know of his infidelity and you feel that way.Its better you leave now, because there is nothing as painful as dying of AIDS yet you are very faithful.Your are very lucky my sister that you know, and there is a purpose for all that happens, take action now, after  all he is not the last man God created.You are a principled woman and i am sure you know what you want right, its never too late to let go, u will always get somebody who will respect you and your feelings.move on.... dont die watching.
528795
I don't mean to sound disrespectful but... I think it's time to move on.I would say otherwise if he wasn't married but going after another womans husband is wrong and not only that but if you did get to have sex with him again it wouldn't satisfy you only make you want more than a sexual relationship. It obviously wasn't meant to be so getcha grove on girl there are lots of guys that probably would love to go out with you, ya just gotta be patient.
502884
Blair,\n\nIt's normal to feel the way you do - you'll have a lot of anger and rage, and want to really get back at him.\n\nBut, it's been my experience that doing so will only cause more pain for EVERYONE involved, including yourself.\n\nYou've already been put through enough pain and humiliation, and you do NOT need to suffer any more than you already have.\n\nYou're a very smart lady for having ended the affair, and I'm sorry to say that the man you were with is NO prize at all.  You're lucky that he didn't divorce his wife and marry you.  You'd have been stuck with the BOOBY prize.  \n\nGo get professional help and get a good support group around you so that you can take the time to heal and recover from the emotional trauma and abuse you have allowed yourself to endure.  \n\nHe already sucked up three years of your life.  Don't let him continue to suck you into his madness and crazy life by continuing the cycle with more craziness.  Telling his wife won't be revenge at all.  Chances are very good that his wife knows and is suffering as well.  \n\nAnd you know what?  The best revenge will be when he sees that you're living your life as a proud, intelligent lady deserving of only the best, and that really - his attention to you as a married man was nothing but an insult to you.  You deserve a LOT better than what he strung you along for...don't let him sweet talk you into continuing one more time, etc.\n\nSorry, but, he's a dog.  Don't lay with dogs.
853822
That is Deep! I appreciate people taking the time to express their loss,their memories.I'm sorry for yours!At least you seem to have accepted the tragedy and found some peace.Life is so strange,it is 4 21am I have been up since 1 25 on this computer reading and trying to answer some things I know alittle about from life's experience.My boys are asleep,so is my dog.My wife died in my arms a month ago today,I could not help her with CPR nor could the rescue team,41 too young, but everyday I see her in my sons,it will take along time to recover, as they say!God Bless You too!
1044336
Dude don't wait until your wedding night you might have a heart attack go have sex right now with your future wife that way you'll see if this sex thing means a whole lot to her or not. By the rate you're going you'll be divorce within a week if you can't satisfy your wife.
290207
I lost my oldest son just over 5 years ago.  He was murdered.  I am still not over it & never will be.  The best thing I can tell you is turn to your religion.  That has helped me.  I think God gives us answers on how to go on without our loved ones in everyday things.  Like, this might sound wierd to most, but sometimes I hear (in the back of my mind) my son talking to me or answering a question that I've only asked myself.  I take it as he's giving me advise.  I think I'm living life as my son would have wanted me to live it.  I'm making decisions that if he were here & I'd asked him for his advice, they are ones that he's tell me.  I don't know hon, life goes on & so must we.  Sorry to hear about your loss.  A son, aunt, mother or father, its never easy & nobody has all the answers.  Just take it day by day.  You'll have good ones & bad one.  I've learned to deal with it cause all the tears & sorrow or angry feelings isn't going to bring my son back, just make me a bitter person.  He wouldn't have wanted that.  He was a good young man, 23 at the time & had his whole life with a wonderful career in his sites.  He was brutally murdered.  We just had the trial back in September '05.  It still hurts but like I said... he would want me to do just what I'm doing... trying to be the best person I can be.  Good luck to you sweetie!
1137993
My spouse of 12 years died Jan 05..and I feel like a major part of my world died with him. The old saying time heals all wounds has some merit, to a point. I still have days when the grief is all consuming, and other days things are fine. I still have small kids that need me, otherwise I often wonder if I'd have the desire or need to carry on alone.
148312
The death of my husband.
948527
I had a heart throb when I was young but married another.  God knew best now I can hardly remember her.  Once a bond is made it is for life.  You may get another chance if she dies but until that happens you need to hunt another. Life goes on  God will fill your void.  There is another, look for him.
729888
When I was 15, my mom (god bless her) was brutally murdered. I was angry, suicidal, super emotional. So is suicide normal. . . All I can say is that the best advice I was given is this; the pain of the death of a loved one never goes away. It changes, you learn how to live with it. I never thought the post traumatic stress would end but it did. Please find someone you can trust and let it out. You can even e-mail me through Q&A. My heart really goes out to you. You are not alone!
951114
my cousin was the same way her husband and 4mth old son died nov 2002 she got married dec 03 but of course they needed to date so she got with him 8 mnths after they died i honestly dont think thats enough time for you to get over someone that u love...i think it will  hit u later on in life! i wouldnt move on give it sometime for your wounds to heal
124705
I know it might be hard. Depending on the part he had played in her death. I am not saying let him be apart of his family. But did you ever think that he might be sorry for what he did? All I could say is give him sometime. You don't have to have him back right then and there.Not to get all religous on you but just remeber the saying "WWJD" What Would Jesus Do? He fogave the very same people who had killed him. Just try to keep that in mind.\n  I hope this all works out for you, and I am sorry for you mother's death.
673501
I feel sorry for you.My advice is, identify the reason why she did it,also ask your self I am faithful and am I the person who she feels comfortable and secure?After you answer these questions, you can decide.If there is any weakness on your side,(I am not talking about the sexual thing) you better forgive her from the bottom of your heart and leave peacefully.