how do i win my wife back?
541257
Give her space. And why would you want to be with someone that would rather be with work buddies that she's with all day than her own husband? Maybe you shouldn't even try to win her back just yet.Give it time.Weather she was cheating or not,there is no reason to hang out with another man without your own man or if it were a friend or gay,know what I'm trying to say?Just take a break from woman all together,work on you and take time out for yourself.And try not to drive urself crazy, I'm sure you're hurting, but time heals.Maybe she'll wake up one day and realize she lost out on a great man!
425550
You have to look back and see if there is anything you might have done to have grow away from you. Remember when you first met, start treating her the way you used to. Do not take her for granted, bring flowers take her out on a date. Get a sitter get away for a weekend. Romance her. SAVE your marriage. Chances are very high she has someone else except she is hiding it very well and you are so in love with her still that you don't see the signs. By giving you a date and not leaving now means she already has a fall back guy waiting and he is also going throughthe same thing with his wife. Except his wife might not even have a hint as you do. By giving you a date it is giving you a chance to win her over again. It is kind of like she still wants in and is not really sure about this other guy. The ball is in your court you play or you give up, it is up to you. You don't mention how old the kids are. They need their parents at any age. Is she taking them. If she is leaving make sure it is all legal. She might get knocked up by some guy and you will be stuck with that fact of life. If she is serious about coming back she is just looking for a fling and trying to see if this guy will keep her. Do not ask her anything just romance her if you still want her. Have her wonder why she wants to leave.
533475
Five Ways To Win Her Back\n\nAdmit it: You messed up. You said or did something to drive away the most beautiful girl in the world, and now you want her back. But here's the rub: She's moved on, or at least appears to be going on with her life, living and loving it up with guys who happen not to be you. So what do you do to get back into her good graces without completely throwing your pride out of the window? How do you repair the rift and still remain a "man's man"?\nReach Out\n\nYears ago, a guy would have had to stumble through an uncomfortable phone call or write an embarrassing letter to reestablish the lines of communication with his lost love. These days, sending your ex an email is the easiest way to go. It's a quick and modern way to exchange light-hearted communications and your girl won't think you're groveling if you dash off a quick: "How's it going?"\nBe Contrite\n\nI know, I know. Admitting you're wrong is sometimes hard to do, but this simple technique goes a long way in showing a woman that you care. After you've reestablished the lines of communication, drop a few hints. Phrases like: "I'm sorry I said that" or "I didn't mean for that to happen" cause a woman to want to listen more to what you say to her. By the time you swoop in for the kill, she'll be ready. Unless of course you really screwed up ...\nBe Available\n\nIf you followed the methods above, the two of you should at least be on friendly terms. The next way to get her to warm to you is by showing her that you're there. If she needs a ride somewhere, take her; if she's moving, handle the biggest of the boxes; if she's fighting with her mom, listen to her whine about it.\n\nMaking yourself available doesn't mean taking over the role of "girlfriend". It means that when the girl you love has a problem, or needs a shoulder to cry on, it'll be your shoulder she cries on - not some other guy's.\nBe Busy\n\nWait! Didn't I just say to be available? Isn't that a contradiction? Not at all. Even though you're following the rules to get her back, you don't want her to know that you're trying to get her back--not just yet anyway. Go out with your buddies and continue your normal activities. That way, when you speak with her, you'll have funny stories to tell and new things to add to the conversation. If you're waiting by your phone or surfing the 'net checking your email every five seconds, then you'll have no great adventures to impress her with. And then she'll think you're lame.\nBe old-fashioned\n\nYour ex should be on her way to being your "next" again. Once things have progressed and you're sure she likes you again, ask her out. Think hard: what does she like to do? Perhaps your lady doesn't like the usual movie/dinner/clubbing scene--in that case, get creative. If she likes theme parks, rekindle those flames on her favorite roller coaster. If she's a reader, find out when her favorite author is in town and take your ex to see them. Is she a horror film buff? Take her to a film festival or rent the classics and stay in for the night. Make sure you've got her favorite snacks and drinks on hand.\nBe yourself\n\nDespite everything listed above, all a guy really has to get back with his ex is, well, himself. Turn on at full speed whatever you had that made her want you the first time. Remind her of how great things were in the beginning. Mention highlights that give the both of you good feelings. Don't be afraid to let her know that you had some of your best times with her, and that you wouldn't mind having more good times.\n\nWhile you think it might be easier to hold onto your pride, move on and forget about the one who got away, why chance it? Listening to your friends who think you're a big jerk for trying to work things out will just keep you alone, or w
1018598
You know what? I don't think it is fair what some of the others have said..i think it is entirely possible to lose abit of that...and what you need to do is relive a lot of the past...remember a lot fo the romantic things you did for him and sneak those things back in to your repetoire...by that I mean...I sent my wife an Easter card when she went back to see her family in South America and she loved it..my wife and I started off by writing and emailing and while we've known each other for 11 years we've been married for 7.  I always try to do things, read old letters, look at pictures and read diaries of things we did together and I try to do them again...go to fine restaurants (tough with a child) but we do what we can.  I haven't fallen out of love with my wife but I think that it is necessary for you to start dating your husband on a weekly basis so that it doesn't happen again-FLIRT WITH HIM-go park..hehe whatever.....life is a long journey..sometimes it seems as though your priorities with children and work that sometimes you may lose the spark a bit..just light the pilot light again and do what you can to get his attention and it doesn't have to go back to the bed-especially if you are trying to see where his feelings lie with you...(no pun intended)...yeah that will get his attention in the short run..as it will in most men...BUT....it won't stand for the long run...so there has to be more.  maybe play hard to get a little..make him feel as though he has to give chase a bit...don't play the game too long...but...entice him..take him out for ice cream or even to a ball game EVEN if you HATE baseball or football...or a concert if he doesn't care for sports...\namusement park..you get the idea...do things that he LOVES to do that you would normally not care so much for because you CARE about doing stuff he is interested in...it is just an idea...surprise him...
782195
Here's my suggestion (from experience on the being cheated on side).  First, stop and think about how badly you have hurt her.  Think about the damage that has been done to the relationship.  I'm not telling you to do this so you will feel bad. I'm saying it so you will know what she feels like.  She is going to be going through some tremendous grief (even though you are not dead or leaving her, there is something precious that has been lost).  Then you need to consider how insecure she must be feeling right now.  She is possibly feeling unattractive, unwanted and unloved - maybe she feels she doesn't measure up or has lost your interest.  Once you understand what she might be feeling, you need to go to her and tell her that although you can't understand exactly what she is feeling, you do know that she is hurting badly.  Acknowledge her feelings, even if you don't understand them, they are hers and she is entitled to them.  She will likely go through phases of certain fears and feelings.  you need to understand what she is feeling and help her to overcome that.  Be prepared for her to need to know where you are all the time.  You may get really tired of this, but she needs to be able to check up on you.  Next, get rid of all things from the other woman, any pictures, phone numbers, gifts from her - anything and everything.  Recognize that you may still have feelings for the other woman - but DO NOT share this with your wife.  If you don't have feelings for the other woman, you might have some potent memories.  Whenever you find yourself dwelling on them, change what you are thinking about.  Work on getting her out of your mind.  This is going to take a lot of work and reassurance on your part.  And just when you think things are going great - expect her to need more reassurance or to get angry again.  When this happens, think again about how much you love her.  Also, I think it is important to understand why you cheated.  Was there a problem in your current relationship?  If so, fix it.  And lastly, I agree with whoever above said to pray.  That is the single most important thing you can do.  Because this is a major breach of trust and devastating to experience.  She is going to need a lot of help getting past it and trusting you again.  Best wishes in your future together!
841534
I know it's hard, believe me! It's not something you get over in one night, or one year. It takes alot of time and you have to ask yourself if you are willing to give yourself that time? Is the marriage good now? Is it worth working on? Your wife needs to work on rebuilding your trust. Is she willing to do whatever it takes to help you along with this? It really seems to me that she is, because 20yrs is a long time that you both have invested in. I know you are in pain right now, your wife has been in pain for the last 10yrs thinking about what she did and has lived with knowing that one day you would find out and maybe end the life she really wants. And that is to be wife and a mother to YOUR kids. I am not making excuses for her because what she did was wrong! I know you need validation right now and you have every right to feel that way. You (I am sure) are a great dad. So for right now, focus on that. Time will heal...I promise!
1042792
Don't give up.  And don't beat her or your head against a rock!\n\nGet counseling.  For yourself first and then couples therapy.  You may need better boundaries (I highly recommend "Boundaries in Marriage" by Henry Cloud and John Townsend) or better negotiating skills ("Getting To Yes" Roger Fisher).  Counseling can help you pinpoint what skills you need to make it work.\n\nIf you go on like you are, you will likely just make matters worse for yourself or both of you.  If you get divorced, you will likely end up with someone else like her and still won't have the skills you need to deal with that behavior.  Plus you'll have baggage from this relationship and unresolved anger.  Not fair to carry that to a new relationship.\n\nIt's not the movies.  It's not that you have a good marriage if you marry the perfect person.  It's that marriage is good if you meet it's challenges.  If you learn the skills necessary to relate to (and help the growth process of) another person radically different from yourself.\n\nNo matter how frustrating she may be to you, there are things you can learn from each other.  And you may be surprised to find that you help each other heal in significant ways as well.\n\nI believe God uses us to further the growth of others.  Sometimes that's a pleasant process, and sometimes it's painful.  Seek counseling.  Learn the skills you need to make this a positive process rather than a contest of wills.
1182001
one word: pray. If you pray and believe then she will come back to you. Or you can ask her for a second chance. Remind her of your wedding vows. Til death do you part. For better or worse.
507084
The choice is all yours. If you feel you can trust your wife than go for it if not than tell her she done screwed up. She's returning for a reason maybe she knows your involved with another woman and that made her jealous or maybe her parter that she left you for left her and she feels alone. Let her know you will remain her friend but thats about it. Either way just remember she cheated once she may do it again. Good Luck.
200225
If you are considering another relationship with her then maybe marriage counselling would be a first step.  If you can get through that then I might consider trying again but obviously there were serious issues that warranted the divorce to begin with.
1115836
well you can try to mix it up alittle. try role playing or throwing some toys into the mix that usually makes it interesting. if you are seeing her lose intrest as well you could change your outlook on see how many times you could get her off or even tease her till she gets crazy. diffrent things you can do go to some websites and look up fun weekends or games to play will add alittle spark here and there to peak your intrest and im sure your wife will greatly appreciate it as well.
776709
dont jump the gun...  she obviously wants you back.. so play hard to get.. thats what SHE wants...   if she wanted to JUMP in to it then she wouldda said  oh baby i miss you you were the best..\n  as it stands,, it sounds like she does miss you and refrets whatever may have happened.. so be with her...  you need to make sure that whatever happened last time wont happen again...\n    it may just be a game... she knows that you love her and likes the attention...  so she will want  while its easy and convienient and as soon as ANYBODY comes along she will drop you.. \n   not saying that thats the case... but i am repeatedly going through that stupid shit with my ex wife... and because i love her and im stupid i keep letting her back in...  yup... dont be stupid like me man....  if  you think shes sincere then do it...    if you have the slightest hint shes playin ya... kick her ass to the curb before she hurts you again
669851
just give it time. sometimes time will tell all. and if your good to her shell realize that she has a good thing and come back. but when you do get back together try to do more "mommy and daddy time" instead of everything for the kids. dont get me wrong also have family time. but sometimes its just you need time alone. i hope everything works out!!!!
187665
Notorious ways? Are they self destructive? Are they hard to live with? What are the things that you may need to revise in yourself? Marriage is a two way street. No matter what, I would give it some more time. It could be that she is feeling lonely and that is why she wants back. If there is going to be a reconciliation you both need to address some issues and be willing to put the time and energy into resolving those. You cannot do it without the help of an oursider--a marriage councelor. Do all of this before you live together again. I smell disaster if you don't.
7865
First......I think you just did say you were sorry to her for being a boneheaded idiot. The first step is finally realizing what she was trying ot say to you. I have a feeling you realized this......just a tad late. The key is now letting your wife know that you understand. I have a feeling that she felt you spent more time on your bike than with her. Perhaps you were truly caring for this bike......pampering it.......polishing it........tinkering with it..........all while she had to look on. Now that you realize that the bike was dispensable.....make sure you show her that she is not. Care for her.....pamper her......tinker with her.......polish up the marriage. Flowers do nothing.....trust me. Actions......mean everything. Spend time being "present." Stalk her in the most fun loving ways you can imagine. Let her see that you can't stop thinking of her........that you need her........and nothing else will ever come between you two again. (she so needs to know this!)\n\nI so hope you are ok after the accident. I have a feeling that was another issue. She loves you so much and couldn't stand to stand back and wait for you to get hurt. Assure her you won't put yourself in any danger at the risk of losing her. (ok was that too mushy? That might have been too mushy.....aahhh but try it anyway.....what'll it hurt. *wink*) \n\nGood luck......I'll be rooting for ya!!
746437
Start light :)\n\nSmile at her. Tell her you are going for a nice evening walk and ask her if she wants to come with you. In that order. Repeat often~  \n\nAlso, if you have a small yard or a park nearby Bocci Ball is a fun way to get yourselves standing, bending and walking back and forth in the open air. It's a good low impact activity (like a quiet sexy elegant italian version of bowling) that could inspire more physical fun in your day to day life. If you have kids they can join in. It's so fun. If she won't play sober add a glass of wine to the invite. She'll like that. And one glass of wine a day has health benefits. And can spark romance. Ohh La La. ;) Go for it!\n\nIf you have a yard plant a vegetable garden with her. It's nice light physical work and spiritually healing. You'll be eating more veggies which means more energy, less sleeping.\n\nWalk to restaurants instead of ordering in. If you live in too rural an area to do that, drive to the restaurant but park a few blocks away and walk over.\n\nPose these things as small little daily romantic adventures that you have planned for you and her. These are things you are doing for her, and you as a couple so you can both continue to find joy in being alive and well together for a long time.\n\nMore motivation techniques:\nHold hands, kiss her in the kitchen, hug her in the den. Just small acts of physical affection will make you both feel more energized. Plus the chance that her husband may sweetly flirt with her will make a woman want to do more things to make herself more attractive.
654735
Break back up. You'll be much happier. Its not like you are married to her. Who wants to be stuck with  a bitter, whining person? Move on, you'll be glad you did.