Rape - does it leave you feeling insane? (Soz, similar Q just posted but less specific)?
536705
I had a complete "nervous breakthrough" about 12 years after mine occurred. I recovered with the loving support of an excellent therapist who used the EMDR method of therapy. "Getting over it" was more of re-living it until the mind was able to process it. Trauma gets stuck in the brain, and anything that reminds you of the trauma makes you feel as if you are reliving it. EMDR forces both sides of the brain to work on processing it. Now, to me, thinking about the events is like watching it on an old black and white film- it has no more power in my life.\n\nMy breakdown started with vivid nightmares and flashbacks after 2 close friends were raped at gunpoint. It terminated with me sitting outside on the cold ground one night, in the 20 degree air, rocking back and forth on my bare feet sobbing and repeating, "I need somehting, I need somehting, I need something..." \n\nInteresting, it was not until I had processed the events, and dealt with them, that I could have an active and caring relationship. I had had plenty of boyfriends, but they all weakened me in some way. I presume I was led to choose men that woudl keep inside a familiar feeling of disempowerment, because that was my comfort zone. I mean, holy shit, the last one, when i had the breakdown, had just admitted to me that he was inviting the neighbors' 8 and 9 year old girls over to his house for sleepovers (in bed with him!) and I was trying to JUSTIFY his behavior (we were livign outside the US where it is somewhat normal for children to share a bed with their parents, or at least a bedroom, for lack of any other space, so this is not as outrageous as it seems).\n\nThe kicker was he did not care about my feelings at all... and that was the clue. I had bottled my feelings so much that I did care about them, either. I just picked up and kept going after it happened- first the abortion, then back to high school the next day, pretending nothing was wrong. Tehn to college, and myriad tough jobs. The more it tried to hurt, the harder I worked. We all develop our defenses. the trick is being honest about them.\n\nMy advice to you is to elarn to be honest about your feelings. The act of rape affects every woman differently. I would suggest you try EMDR. Nobody knows why it works- just that it DOES. Totally eliminates the effects. It then takes a little time to rebuild afterwards. \n\nJust as an afterthought, my dealing with it, and taking control of my own life again, was the deciding factor that pushed my yearly income level up by $16,000! I was able to be assertive, self-actualizing, loving, accepting of love, and trusting again. I had not fully felt any of these things since I was 16.\n\nHope this helps. Feel free to contact me if you want someone to talk to off-forum.\n\nhauntedfox1975@yahoo.com
477924
no if i did someone would be getting hurt real bad and wouldn't make it to tell about it.\n\nI feel so awful when things like that happens.\nPeople are so sick out in this world.
256918
I am so sorry that you're dealing with so much pain.  Maybe instead of focusing on forgeting, because it is unlikely that you will ever forget a trauma like rape, you could try to focus on living through the pain.  I think you need to get some help, talk to someone, a professional who can help you work through it. I'll pray for you.
111165
Everyone wants to jump in on this question, don't they? over 20 responses within 25 minutes, and who knows how many more by the time I finish typing this!!! \n\nMy answer:\nHell yea you should be afraid if someone is pressuring you to do something you are unsure of. It'll probably most likely hurt in more ways than one. \n\nSounds like you are a potential rape victim, either that or a cop trying to catch perverts.
1162692
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx\n\n         I'm so sorry.\n\n     You are saying this happened to you?\n\n      Don't sell men short.\n\n        We have mothers, sisters, wives, daughters, and female friends that we care about.\n\n        I  would be saddened by the news of anyone being raped.
1064073
Verbally Raped you? I'm gonna need an explaination on that\n\nAnd maybe you like to be mistreated, knew a girl like that.
355518
Go to  a hospital right away.  They have 'rape kits' there to help collect evidence to arrest your attacker.  They can also call the police for you.  \n\nAlway always remember it was not your fault and it was a horrible act commited against you that in no way lowers your worth.  After seeing the doctor and giving yourself time to recover physically perhaps see a therapist to help talk out your feelings.  Sometimes its easier to talk to someone you don't know.  Also remember you are not alone.  There are many of us out there who have been raped and are trying to stand tall.  Support groups can help you get throught this too.  After awhile, try telling yourself that while what happened to you was horrible, it was a small portion of your life and that to let it follow you around forever is giving your attacker control over your life long after that small moment is past.  Thats why therapy and support groups can be important.  The rape will make you different as we are all summations of what happens to us in life, but don't let it control you forever.  \n\n*HUGS*
129579
This is a personal question, looking for your personal answer/opinion.  Think about it for a minute.  How does it make you feel to hear about the bombing?  Do you feel upset, sad, guilty, angry?  Does it make you think about life any differently?  If so, how?  That's the kind of answer you need to provide for this question.
837282
Nah, I think it is crazy to think that you (or whomever!) would be punished for being raped by an underage person. It isn't as if you initiated the sex and it was non-consensual so you really couldn't be prosecuted.
501162
you need a shrink - someone who says they were raped and wants to know if they should tell someone is full of sh!t - are you that bored? oh, by the way you told someone in between asking youor questions? grow up
544493
That's a new one on me! From my experience in talking with women in the past that have been raped it is a horrible experience and sad to say stays with you the rest of your life some people slough over things when something bad happens to them they may just be hiding the pain inside for no-one to see I think anyone male or female whom has been raped should see a rape counselor at least once just to be sure they are ok mentally. With counseling you can begin to get over it but if someone just burys a violent event like rape under the rug someday it will come back to haunt them full force most likely
1179428
THIS IS DATE RAPE!!!! I would seriously consider reporting this. Sexual deviants start with something small and work their way up to more aggressive worse acts. It's kinda like a peeping tom who then exposes himself in public and then starts to mingle in crowds and touch people inappropriately, etc. It would have been ok if this was something you had agreed to beforehand and were role playing or something. \nAlso many women who are raped say that their body experienced feelings of pleasure, this is normal. At the very least you should see a counselor or therapist to discuss this and see what they think of the situation. Or at least call a rape hot line and ask what they think
1140861
Yes....so many times that I can't even count....take relief in the fact that you are not the only one.....actually by reading your question and reading what everyone else replied with....I feel much better because it reminds me that I'm not alone in my feelings...we ALL feel that way at one time or another...some people are soo much more sensitive than others, in a lot of ways...it really **** but I wouldn't want to be any different, I like that I FEEL.....too many people are on autopilot these days....not me, I NEVER want to be that way....Thank you for making me feel better, I can only hope that you too will get some relief in knowing that you are not alone.\nThanks everyone out there who responded to this question....you are ALL great!!!!   I love this site!!
1148533
I was the first person that a friend of mine called after she had been raped, and I was there for her. I know some people may not think that very heroic, and at the time I didn't think so either, but she tells me that nobody has ever done anything as nice before.\n\nIn my mind, it was just being a friend for 18 hours straight. *shrugs*
460715
I more than most anyone will understand what you are going through...I too was sexually assaulted for many years and I have also been gang raped and raped by a couple of others. I too sleep VERY little...I average around 3 hours per night. I have had and been diagnosed with night terrors for years, as well as anxiety attacks....ALL I can suggest is meditation, group therapy and xanax...at least these are the only LEAGAL things that have helped me...If you are so inclined you can e-mail me and I'll go into further detail, but this is what I hope will help you at this point.....Peace!
267146
some people like rape fantasy... where they are with a lover and they are preteneding they are being raped/ or raping someone. But real rape is a scary serious thing. I dobt that anyone would enjoys being forced to do anything sexually without concent.
255919
The question wasnt too clear but what ive gathered is that you like a guy and were playing a sexual game which you wanted to stop and he kept going anyway. if not disregard my answer. Obviously this game is over so if he took it the whole way and you said no you were raped. rape is not cool no matter how much you like someone and you should report it. If he did stop but touched you in ways you didnt want then you need to use your judgement as far as how violated you feel. since you started the game together you could always tell him that you felt he went too far and that you do like him but that he should respect you enough to stop when you arent comfortable anymore. if it can be resolved like that great, if not then sexual harrassment charges can be filed.