don't know whether I am shy or flirty?
551223
Aman, I write this with some reservations, I really don't feel qualified to give you any answers to the underlying question in your post but your second last sentence touched a alarm bell. You worry me because I had a friend, an Indian girl, who suffered something similar and ended up trying to commit suicide, and thats why I am writing at all. This is delicate.\n\nYou have opened your heart on internet which is a brave thing to do but reading between the lines it doesn't sound like you have anyone to turn to in your life. Firstly, put the idea that you don't want to survive on the back burner for a while. The worst that should happen (and its pretty bad) is that you might have to make a major change in your life but thats not as bad as not surviving. \n\nI'll answer your original question, because its clear, but I don't think that is really the question. You are not a flirt. You seem to be a a very shy person with low self esteem and people like that do not to flirt, sorry you just don't know how. Flirting is an extrovert activity. You can't flirt without talking or at least making eye contact.\n\nReading between the lines, the real question is who is telling you that you flirt? Who is telling you your reputation is bad (what a horrid thing to say)? Who is manipulating you? I am going to guess that it is your husband or one of your in-laws, and they seem to have you convinced. If that is the case, I think you need to consider your position carefully. I get the impression that you are well educated or at least intelligent, but that English is not your first language. If I am wrong, forget it, but if I am right, I appreciate that there could be strong cultural bonds tying you to the situation, but if you are living in the west you will not lose your children if the worst comes to the worst.\n\nYou are a mother to two children who need you, but you also need support and respect, in short you need a friend. I guess you have already tried to talk to you sister about this (sometimes familt surprises). Is there no-one in your circle who might understand you?\n\n\nI'm sorry that I can't be of more help.
954099
Usually being shy is an indicator of not being confident. When you find out someone is interested in you it naturally makes you feel as though they are observing you (no more hiding in the background). You have come to someones attention and they approve.....so far......now the pressure is on to not make any social mistakes so that they won't figure out you aren't who they thought you were.\n\nThat is my amateur psychology opinion anyway.
347802
Pysical contact is always a sign of flirting and i figure you liked it (hopefully). the best way to tell if he's flirting with you or just being flirty is to see how he is around other females. If its normal behavior dont think much about it. If its out of the box for him...i'd take that as a sign that he might be feelin you.. If all else fails just ask.. "Whats up wit you?"
724773
When I am in the company of girls I know I give them lots of compliments and try to do nice things for them and make them laugh. I just like being nice but I don't think I am flirting as I am not making any suggestions to them such as 'we look good together' or 'I am free on Saturday's'. I prefer to think I am being gentlemanly.\n\nI think for it to be flirting you have to convey a clear message of wanting to take things further, either by body language or verbal. \n\nCare must be taken not to misinterpret by checking out with the suspected flirter if what you think they meant is what they meant. Clothes, however revealing, nor location, should never be taken as flirting and even when flirting does occur the person has a right to change their mind at any time.\n\nBeing self-aware is important so that you know how others take your normal behaviour. Honesty also is needed to admit when you have been flirting as we all feel the need to have our needs met and our qualities appreciated sometimes.\n\nDeliberate flirting does frequently occur of-course. It is perhaps best just acknowledged in a friendly manner and not acted on until the person flirting has made themselves absolutely clear through their words.\n\nYou can also use a mutual friend to assist the confirmation of the flirting but never take this as proof, as it hasn't come directly from the person in question.\n\nIt is true that we sometimes see flirting because we want to and that we sometimes are oblivious to others subtle messages to us.\n\nAnother help is to see how the flirter, even if it is you, is acting with others of the same gender as the person they have supposedly been flirting with, as it might just be their manner.\n\nBest advice? Never take flirting as a definitive sign of significant interest from a person.
277955
omg I'm quiet and shy too! People think I'm a snob and that I think I'm too good for them. One of the reasons they do that is because I dont smile. I know its hard, people tell shy people to just go up and talk to someone but its not that easy. I would try talking more to your friends (that would help you not to be as quiet and show people that you can talk to other people as well) thats what I am working on now. Good Luck!
1158189
Flirty has different meanings...  I flirt around a lot and I know. But idk I guess it really doesn't matter, i dont think bad of flirts...
338768
Hey girl, don't worry about it.Get your flirt on and if he likes you then he should eventually come.but if you are impatient get some confidence and ask him.You aren't alone.i am waiting for a boy to tell me too.i am alittle shy in that area.
374579
It's a nice symptom tht u r judging u'rself as a shy person. Now you have to try and come out of the shell. \n\nWords do a lot of things.. speak..\nAnd have that beautiful smile in your face always.. 'coz someone may fall for you!!\n\nBe happy.. do good.. u'll find friends come your way..\n\nAll the best.
173466
I use to be really really shy too! But one day it hit me that when people firts meet you they have NO IDEA who you are, so you can make yourself who ever you want to be weather its shy or outgoing. And I attempted it one day and made myself an outgoing person by taking the first step in asking all kind of questions (believe me I was soo nervouse because of my shyness) and by the time I knew I was able to talk to those people with no probelms and people would refer to me as a social butterfly but little did they know I was very shy. Well in time I really did become the social butterfly it just took some time and it took some working at. Be patient but learn to take steps. And those steps could be your the first one to speak up or out. If you always the first to do something you will overcome your shyness thats why I did and now I am leader. Good Luck and dont let shyness overcome you.
976539
awww...how adorable!i wish i had a guy that felt like you!i would really love that!especially right now...but anywho, back to your question....what you should try to do now is to be more yourself to her and i bet anything she will more open to you!but hey dont get me wrong shy shouldnt be an issue here...
329573
I am a shy person too, and most shy people want u to take it slow with them and don't push thing to far. Talk to her\nas a friend first and see what she enjoy. You might have something in comment with her and you may hit it off. Don't rush nothing
660734
Of course! Everyone is attracted to confidence and when you take a leap and make a move, you exude confidence! Listen to that little voice inside and hurry up! Best of luck to you!
15036
Has she touched your arm when you talk in close proximity? Does she smile and laugh a lot? Does she give you compliments?\n\nIf she is shy, she might actually avoid your gaze from across the room. You have to make a move, take a chance...too many opportunities lost because people are afraid of rejection. If she doesn't like you, it's NOT PERSONAL!! Doesn't change who you are. It's just personal preference. With that in mind....GO FOR IT!
124175
Are you sure you are shy and not just lacking self esteem? There is a large difference. You have friends so it probably is not shyness, someone somewhere has knocked what you have said about something and it affected you. That is normal, I think most people go through this at some point in life. \n Advice- well just talk, don't even think about it. Say what comes to mind when someone asks you a question. If you don't know the answer please don't be afraid to admit it, this is how you learn in life. I grew up ( I am 48 yrs old now) with the thought that I was stupid and should never open my mouth. Guess what I had an IQ considerably higher than those who said I was stupid. They just had to make themselves feel better by keeping me down.\n Eventually I learned to open my mouth and not care what others thought about my words, and yes I made mistakes, but mistakes can be corrected. Just let it out, you may actually open someone's eyes to a whole new world or concept they never thought of.
1185866
Being shy is only a trait which will ware off in time.\n\nShyness is not a turnoff and at times it's better to have a shy girl than a robustly outgoing girl which can at times become a turnoff.\n\n\nSo chill, you're doing ok.\n\nTake care and have a great day.
994381
Shyness is when you hold back your uniqueness and impact on a situation, because you question your value and worth. If you remember what you know, and think of times when you are glad you spoke up it can help you breakthrough. If you have a lot of connections things get easier. More options of people to sit with and hang out with. Fill your heart with love and express it in all that you do. I believe in you! Good luck!
779826
haha yes, there's another guy out there like me! Yeah, he shows that he's interested. The thing with shy types are that a lot of the time, they won't start the conversation as readily, so you'll have to start it, but once they get more comfortable with you, it will get easier :)