help me PLEASE my husband is really mean he goes off over everything I do. What can I do to get respect?
546567
It is very clear that he has a short fuse. He doesnt handle responsibility at all and he feels like you dont do much. You should probably explain to him in a nice clear firm voice what you are feeling like and what you need from him and you may want to ask him if there is something that you are doing to make him act this way. To every action is a re-action. You both have to be willing to work at the relationship and you will always be working at it. All you can do is make sure you are doing everything you can to make him happy and make sure he really fully understands what your needs are from him. Then you go from there, if he doesnt listen to you and your doing everything he needs from you and he comtinues then you need to go to the next step which would be counseling. Basically if he is not willing to put forth any effort to make your life better and happier then you really do not have a marriage there. And then at that point you may want to play the hard role , if all else fails you can just act as though you dont need him. Start going and doing things on your own and with the kids and do everything else as far as the household but dont pay as much mind to him. ( Start moving on with your life) That may very well stop him in his tracks. Start doing to him what he does to you and if he really does love and care for you he will see it and just tell him "thats what you've been going through and you only done it to make him see it first person."
954650
you should do your husband, the man you pledged your love and life and faithfulness to, a favor and let him go and get on with his life because you're really disrespecting him.
815871
I hate it when they won't respect or listen to you, but still ask your opinion and want your approval and won't leave you alone about the topic unless you say something affirmative.  Erg. I'm sorry for you, but there is nothing more you can do but continue being his daughter and hope for the best.Treat him well.
779479
Love is about a two way lane, u get respect u give respect. In order, for you to respect other people , in this instance your husband you need to first respect urself. Man in their own ways, tend to subject women to sccumb to such ways, as they know the weaker sex usually gives in. But be firm, tell him gently you are uncomfortable. He has to love you and your self dignity beyond just your body alone...he has got to realise that his actions will get him nowhere but trouble. I guess, maybe you need to help him out, as it looks like he may have an addiction, so maybe proper counselling may help him get thru this. If you outright reject him, he may in worse situations seek attention elsewhere which may further strain your relationship. You need to handle this with care. Just try to indulge in doing other things together sometimes, and when he brings up x-rated stuff, tease him instead, yet maintain your stand. A healthy relationship, includes good sex relationship, but it should be the be all and end all of it.
787671
YES, you should feel upset, and you're not overreacting. Sounds annoying and angering. I'm surprised he even asked you to marry him. Do you think he'll keep the promise to walk down the aisle? I had a man like that once. He promised to propose to me year after year after year. He promised he'd do it after he paid off his credit card. But when he did, he just bought himself a brand new car. Then he wanted a big projection television. Et cetera. It's hard to pinpoint exactly why some people do crap like that: lack of ability to commit, laziness, control, or just plain meanness. Talk to him about it...tell him that it makes you UNHAPPY, and be sure to stress that word. If you're unhappy, then it can lead you to fall out of love with him, and leave him. That should show him that he needs to be more trustworthy with you.
367509
Tell your husband you don't like hanging around with them and why.  If the reason is good then he will probally respect your wishes and plan less things together as a group.
19900
First of all, she can only control what he allows her to.  I understand that he does not want to disrespect her but she has too obviously butted in before.  Don't involve her in personal business and decisions. As a matter of fact, keep discussions with her on subjects about HER.  Try putting distance between him and her. It's really sad to say, but if he doesn't put an end to this, it won't end.
308103
Just stop and think of all the good things your husband has done and the reasoning behind you marrying him! Change the subject every time you find your self getting ready to nag! I nag alot too but I just have to stop and think can I do anything about the situation, then I try and do it! As long as you know you are doing it at least this is the first step into getting better, You can do it just slow down and think before you speak! Also know there's a time to be quiet and a time to speak out loud! Certain things that really get you mad just talk to him about them and see if he can help you with any of them, others just try and do whatever it is your self! Good Luck and God Bless!
114463
I would say your man doesnt respect your feelings for him or respect you. If he did he wont be behaving the way he is right now. I suggest you dump him. That should be your goal. Get selfish. And being selfish is not getting back at him or getting even, its just you are trying to protect yours and ur baby's future. Find a job, start working, be a woman, be empowered, live life and find peace.
1067329
Everyone goes through mood swings.  Guys aren't the only ones who are rude and mean - women do it too.  The key is communication between eachother so you know how eachother is feeling.  If your husband is just mean and grumpy for no good reason he might be dealing with some things inside of him that he isn't willing to share with you.  Either way, if it bothers you and you can't talk it out - there is nothing wrong with getting into marriage counseling.
1015983
Honey, it's absolutely NOT you!!!  You are YOU, not just his wife.  You are an adult and should be able to be friends with others, hobbies other than what he likes, etc.  You DON'T have to do everything together.  You are you're own person.  The fact that he doesn't trust you with  male co-workers is a classic sign that HE should NOT be trusted because his way of thinking is "Well, if I'm capable of doing it, she must be doing it too".  \n\nYou should not have to walk on eggshells in your own house.  My husband and I were having some problems and he made me feel like everything I did was wrong.  He got irritated by every move I made and everything I said and did and we were miserable.  I was so confused because it was my first (and hopefully only) marriage and I was extremely disappointed in marriage and him.  \n\nOne day I had an epiphany.  I was letting myself be changed by him.  I no longer stood up for what I thought and what I did or did not like.  I was no longer ME.  I hate to be crude, but one day I thought to myself "What the f*ck is wrong with me?  He married me.  All my thoughts, flaws, mistakes, passions, talents, everything.....and I've been hiding myself.  Well, screw that!!!" \n\nHe came home from work and I told him.  I WILL BE MYSELF AND IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT, YOU CAN LEAVE BECAUSE I CAN DO THIS WITHOUT YOU AND BE HAPPIER.  IT'S YOUR CHOICE.\n\nTo tell the truth, our marriage has never been better and I'm crazy about him.  If he gets slightly irritated at something I do, too bad.  Everyone isn't perfect and he certainly isn't.  Suck it up, Man!!!  You are far from perfect!\n\nIf he doesn't change, get out.  Life is too short to live with someone who doesn't appreciate you for everything you are.  Be yourself.\n\nTake care,\n\nJoyce
176360
Tell him he's rude and ask him if his mother usually lets him play on the computer past his bedtime.\n\nThough it's better to just ignore him.  If you don't respect a  person, what do you care what he thinks about you?  Only people who you care about and you think highly of can hurt your feelings -- everyone else just doesn't matter.
252388
keep yourself busy and focus on yourself. Don't do this with negative intentions or malicious reasons - like i'll show you. I can relate. I used to give my man shit all the time for no reason. The only thing jealousy leads to is wasted energy and will only leave you feeling worse. I hate to say it , but this boils down to insecure feelings on your part and you know how you hate it when he says " you are just insecure". focus on spending time w/ family and friends, job, goals...this behavior will bring you and your husband closer.  Just communicate, don't give up, You just need to love your man smarter not harder
331877
Honey, DUMP that loser.  \n\nYou don't deserve that crap.  He thinks you'll just take it, but that's abuse.  If you're that bad, what is he doing with you?  \n\nHe just feels so insecure that he is putting you down.  This is NOT your problem.  Get rid of that dork!
558615
don't get mad, get even!\ntreat him how ever u want! sure, u should find a way to punish him ! use u're imagination.\n\nP.S. if u ask this question without being mad already, tells me that he doesn't mean that much to u.
60528
Learn to be patient. If you are not married yet, I would suggest you to leave him. I know it is awful living with an inconsiderate man. But I honor marriage and think people should try their best to stay in their marriage in better or worse. So please learn to accept him the way he is. Anyway, it's your life and your decision. I won't respect you less if you decide to leave him. Wish you the best.
388161
I wish I could tell you how to get him to listen.  He sounds like my late husband.  We were married for 40 years and he never really listened to me.  Once we were at a marriage counselor and I talked for about 5 minutes about how my husband didn't listen to me.  Then the counselor looked at my husband and said "what do you have to say about that"  and my husband responded "I wasn't listening"\nso going to a marriage counselor doesn't always work either.\n\nIn the end I began to think that my husband was frustrated by other people in his life and took it out on me.  He couldn't ignore his boss.  He couldn't tell his co-workers that they didn't know what they were talking about so he came home and did it to me.\n\nThe really bad part is that I came to believe that I was stupid and incompetent.  I put too much value in the way that he treated me. \n\nI took course on how to communicate.  I was told that I shouldn't say you did whatever but I should say I feel whatever.  He turned this against me and told me I was self-centered and I believed him.\n\nSo I can't tell you how to make him listen or how to communicate with him, but I can tell you that you must guard against feeling that something is wrong with you.