what should i do if i'm in a realitionship for ten months but kiss my best friend and think i love him?
540036
Okay, I recognize this problem. You are a poly person. You have the capacity to love more than one person. There are many just like you engaging in the poly lifestyle. It doesn't get played up very often, in fact American popular culture likes to pretend that monogamy is the only reasonable way to be. Not to me. I love my girlfriend completely and wish for her every joy. I don't feel some need to qualify my love, or allow my love to be tainted by the negativity of jealousy. Just the fact that you're trying to decide which one you should have a RELATIONSHIP with, instead of simply dating multiple people is because of our society's support of relationships as a form of serial monogamy. If you're not ready to commit, then there's no point in committing.\n\nBut I could be wrong. This is just my own point of view.
31678
don't "do" anything until you've found out if your friend is cool with it.  just be open and honest with him and if he's your best friend he'll understand whether or not he feels the same way.\n\nif you both DO feel the same way then just go with it and see what happens.  it sounds like you're probably young so just do whatever feels right.  just remember to respect each other and don't hurt one another (physically or emotionally!)
194714
tell him how you feel.  don't ask for any answers, and don't expect any, but do let him know, and that way the invitation for him to address his feelings for you will be open to him.  i have to question if you are sure you are in love with him?  being in love is like nothing else in the world.  it isn't just the feeling of euphoria at being in a new relationship, it's the understanding that you would literally lay your life on the line for that person, that they are your best friend, lover, confidant, and partner in life.  it's the only feeling that will ever grow no matter how long you are together.  be sure of this before you say anything to "K".  I wish you luck and happiness.
708857
Well, you should be able to tell whether you have feelings for ted just by being his friend.. if you really like Justin that's a way to do it without hurting either one of them. BUT, life is too short to be with someone while wanting to be with someone else.. and no offense, but you sound young and if that's the case, you shouldn't be serious about just one guy.. play the field...most importantly.. find out who you are and what you want before you make any major decisions...do you even know if ted likes you? just have fun, enjoy life while you can, and don't hurt anyone unless its unavoidable- hope this helped
448866
i have been dating one of my bestfriends ex-boyfriend, and weve been together for 3 years, we also plan on getting married. You cant help the person you fall in love with, and who are you to stop something that could be one of the best things that could happen for your best freind? if she really is your best friend then treat her as such dont let something like that bring your friendship down. let them try and see if it wroks out for them, if it does just be glad she found something a lot of people dont get the chance to, and if it doesnt work dont give an i told you so, compfort her as you would if you didnt know the guy. Keep smiling and find you someone who you can have fun with a be real with.
136716
Pros & Cons:  List the good things about being with him and the negative things.  Which list is longer?  If the bad list is longer, then you've answered your own question: you need to move on.  If the good list is longer, you guys need to have a long, serious, open & honest convo soon.  See where he is and why its not you he loves.  You deserve to be loved honey.  Maybe youre not meant to be with him.  I know its easier said than done, but you need to take a step back from this situation and take a deeper look.  Imagine if your best friend were in this same situation:  What advice would you give her?
1124058
Well if your best friend is gay then that means you two dont really have much of a chance.  I guess i would tell him how you feel just to get it out in the open.  It may be easier for you to deal with it that way.  Even tho you may not ever get to be with him, he will still always be an important role in your life.  Boyfriends may come and go for both of you but you'll still always have eachother as friends.
615327
AHAAAAAAAAAAAAAN to be very honest with people are making sense in their own way but if you think you dont love your best friend then you dont but since you said your confussed now that tells me right away you do since you know from six years and your always talking about him to this guy who you suppose to be dating so if i would be you i wont let get to my head but yes i would think about it a little plus just wait time will tell everyone and everything so good luck.
1149547
if there is really doubt in you, i think you should stop and tell him that it's better for both of you to be just friends.. because what if you and him became a couple, (but before you became a couple you had that feeling that you want to leave him) i think between your relationship as bf-gf, you're gonna feel that again.. and that will lead to a break-up, which will also ruin your friendship.. so it's better if you stay friends..\n\nor you can also observe your feelings.. you just have to wait (maybe months.. even years) but there's nothing wrong in waiting for years.. because if you are really sure of your feelings that you really love him, then the waiting is worth it..\n\nit's really hard to make a decision.. but it's harder if you will break someone's heart because of a wrong decision.. it just takes time..
402876
put it this way, you amy be in love with him alas he not with you..\nThe fact that you do not bat for the same team should help your decision!\nHe is your best mate...\nIs it really worth it to have a go and ruin the friendship forever???\nI suggest you go and have alot of random sex and get him off your mind..\nfriendship are forever
861002
you two have been developed a mutual understanding which more likely you both feels the feeling of a couple or bf&gf. becuase you've been start as a very good friend and probably a best friend but you didn't realise that you have developed a relationship already through mutual understanding. but you both will feel awkward of your real feelings as you still thought that you are just friend and nothing else but behind there's already a special feeling that been developed. There's a possibility as well that one of you scared to feel this special feeling otherwise your relation as a friend will be broken, but i'm pretty sure there's a LOVE hanging in the air already between the 2 of you. sometimes denying of the real feeling make things confused and weird..wish you luck!
1129641
If he's your best guy friend ... you already know you like each other.  It's workin' out just great the way they are.  Don't rush it.  Things will take care of themselves.
275651
Best friends make the best lovers. Let him know how you feel. If he doesn't feel the same and doesn't want to give the relationship a try, then so be it. One day he will turn around. If you cant handle not being with him, take some time away from him so you can get over it.
540348
yes, bestfriends can become lovers...i even think that it's actually better because you know each other really well, you care,trust and respect each other and you have the strongest bond: love... i think that you may not have heard from him because he is as confused as you are...he doesn't know if what he did was right and if you feel the same way for him...this kind of thing can be confusing, you see...you want to have this relationship but you're both so scared that if something goes wrong, you lose the friendship you have...since you love him too, i suggest that you do the thing that you said you didn't want to do: confront him...he did the first step of telling you how he feels...it's your turn now...tell him you feel the same, tell him you're scared too but if you talk about it, you cand find a solution together...tell him you don't want to lose your best friend even if things might not go the way you want them to...tell him that you want that 2nd kiss too...hehe!good luck!i hope you work this out... ^_^
658670
For starters, why were you laying on the couch with your boyfriend's best friend??\n\nDon't hurt your boyfriend. You own this situation, not him. I would ask his friend WHY he tried to kiss you? Were you sending him mixed signals by laying on the couch? You should have confronted him with it when it happened. \n\nDon't put yourself in that position again. Sorry, I can't get over the fact you were laying on the couch with him?!
1137383
Alexandra, i think when you like somebody...or love somebody you should not wait...just you should go and tell him...god knows within a year if he finds his best match then what will you do?  so just go and tell him that how much you love and wanna spend life with him....best luck!!!
1036169
Well dear, the English language, although among the richest, is still poor to express certain issues. \nLove! Is Love a feeling or a property of a person? I think the second! Thus, if you are a person who love, then you love and you love everyone and everything! That is great! Congratulations!\nNow, since you love, you love your friends, also, regardless of their customs, attractions, wills, etc. What you are asking in if you should do what you do not like, am I right? \nIn the case you do not like something, you do not do this, because your closest and best friend is yourself! Yourself will never turn you down, or at least more than you will do to her!\nALso, we have many friends who either drink a lot, or smoke or take drags, ..., we get with them and try to influence them to soemthing we consider better! Others are doing thing we consider them fine, although those activities are not our style! Etc. We get together with them. We enjoy what we can communicate each other! Same way with your friend! You remain friends, but you should do what you really want! If you cchange, your friends will not like you any more, you will be done aanother person! If they like the new you and the new you is less good that the previous, run away, those might not be good friends, might not even be any kind of friends!\nNow, if she would bring another boyfriend, what would you think? How would you react?\nIt all depends on how you feel, what kind of girlfriend she is, what you want out of this relation, ...\nI might enjoy both of them and look around for another relation!!!!