How do I win my wife back ? We have been married for 37 years .?
547822
After 37 years, she walked out for something that simple?  I think you might want to ask yourself if there was more to it than that first of all.  Be honest with yourself, that is a long time together, to throw it all away for nicotine.  I have a feeling that there were some more major underlying issues that you just didn't clue in on.  Have you ever heard the song "Buy Me a Rose" by Kenny Rogers?  It's basically about how the hubby forgot about the simple loving gestures somewhere along the way--and the wife didn't feel loved anymore.  The smoking thing was probably her final straw of feeling unwanted, etc.  whether it is 3 years or 37 guys--we HAVE to know we are still the ones you love and would marry all over again!!  Little gestures regularly ARE a good thing! \n\nMy suggestion to you is: \n1. Look back and figure out the entire picture of what was wrong.\n2.  If there was something you could have done to show her your love and appreciation better, DO IT NOW!!\n3.  If there was nothing more than the smoking incident (doubt it), apologize, and ask her what you can do to mend things.  GL
1168903
First off, what did you do to make your wife leave? Because you probably did something wrong. Second, praying probably won't help you at this point. She's gone, homie.
259321
Well My wife and I lived together 13 years, have been married 11 years and our 3 children were from her previous marriage. We have 8 grandchildren. So far so good!! The big thing I think is you need to hold your head up, Show your pride and confidence. Demonstrate that YOU feel your worth.\nDon't settle for less than what you want!
187665
Notorious ways? Are they self destructive? Are they hard to live with? What are the things that you may need to revise in yourself? Marriage is a two way street. No matter what, I would give it some more time. It could be that she is feeling lonely and that is why she wants back. If there is going to be a reconciliation you both need to address some issues and be willing to put the time and energy into resolving those. You cannot do it without the help of an oursider--a marriage councelor. Do all of this before you live together again. I smell disaster if you don't.
489722
get a new wife.  One that appreciates you for who you are.
1018605
You need to talk to a lawyer.  State laws vary a lot and there is no standard rule that applies anywhere.   A lot of men these days offer up a cash settlement.  That gives the wife an opportunity to reestablish herself.\n\nNote that in community property states, she's also entitled to have your retirement savings.  Some tips that may help.\n\nTry putting aside the anger and actually talking to her.  What does she hope to accomplish?  Maybe she is planning to work more or maybe she's happy with a modest lifestyle and doesn't expect much.  Maybe she's too independent to take money from you.   Don't make assumptions, ask first and find out what you're dealing with.\n\nBe fair in the property settlement.  That will make her a lot more agreeable.   \n\nIn California, spousal support typically continues for half the number of years of the marriage but this may or may not be true in your state.\n\nThere are websites, and books that can provide formula calculators, but you still can't be sure of an amount until you either have a court order or can reach a mutual agreement.
1042792
Don't give up.  And don't beat her or your head against a rock!\n\nGet counseling.  For yourself first and then couples therapy.  You may need better boundaries (I highly recommend "Boundaries in Marriage" by Henry Cloud and John Townsend) or better negotiating skills ("Getting To Yes" Roger Fisher).  Counseling can help you pinpoint what skills you need to make it work.\n\nIf you go on like you are, you will likely just make matters worse for yourself or both of you.  If you get divorced, you will likely end up with someone else like her and still won't have the skills you need to deal with that behavior.  Plus you'll have baggage from this relationship and unresolved anger.  Not fair to carry that to a new relationship.\n\nIt's not the movies.  It's not that you have a good marriage if you marry the perfect person.  It's that marriage is good if you meet it's challenges.  If you learn the skills necessary to relate to (and help the growth process of) another person radically different from yourself.\n\nNo matter how frustrating she may be to you, there are things you can learn from each other.  And you may be surprised to find that you help each other heal in significant ways as well.\n\nI believe God uses us to further the growth of others.  Sometimes that's a pleasant process, and sometimes it's painful.  Seek counseling.  Learn the skills you need to make this a positive process rather than a contest of wills.
634795
Wow - you did good - for me and my wife it was 4 years.\n\nBasically we'd built up a whole load of junk and it was through a marriage course that we got it all cleared out and were able to love each other again.\n\nDetails of the nearest course can be found at:\n\nhttp://themarriagecourse.org/marriage/\n\nI cannot recommend it enough - it saved us from a very messy divorce.  And 3 years on we are still very much in love...
807293
Talk to your wife. If she really does love you she will listen but you have to do some work. Give it your all!!!!
1055264
If you really want her back then you need to show her how much youve changed and matured. Make sure you are giving her money to help with the child and see him/her often. Go pick up your child and spend quality father time with the child. When you pick the child up dont let on to her how much you want her just pull up and get your child and leave and when you bring the child back do the samething trying to simply ignore your ex. Right now your making it to easy, women like a challenge and if she thinks your over it and are doing fine and are taking damn good care of ya'lls child she will start getting interested again.
644770
Tell wife to grow up!
806251
Obviously there were some serious problems in your marriage.  Seeing as how she's now your ex-wife, you're asking this question a little late, and asking if of the wrong people.  You should've asked her.  If you have a good relationship with her, you might try to get it out of her one day, maybe she'll tell you what happened with her in your relationship.  If I were to bet on it, I'd bet you took her for granted, you stopped courting her.  She felt like you didn't care about her anymore, so she went out and found someone who does.  I'm not condoning her actions, because I firmly believe that marriage is a lifelong committment, and you fix the problems in the marriage, and divorce really isn't an option.  But obviously you weren't giving her what she needed in your relationship.  Sorry......You probably need to just move on with your life.
887360
After 36 years of marriage i guess i am just about qualified to answer you. It is a hard road to travel.. believe me!! you have to work at staying married for this long. It is not all sweetness and light as there have been times when i have wanted to just pack up and go but i have a deep sense of responsibility to my family, even though our kids are all grownups now.My wife has no doubt felt the same at times. So the answer is..Think about what you are going to do, before you do it and consider what effect it might have on your other half. Tell her that you love her often and show it!! Flowers and little treats work wonders. Keep your lust alive as sex is important even as you get older. It is the best way of communicating your love for each other. Do not have secrets that might hurt the other one. Be truthful. Make time for each other, hold hands when you walk out together. Sneak a kiss in public. Look after each other and always back each other up. I could go on and on but i am sure that you get the idea. I am 61 and she is 56. We still sleep together  sharing a double bed. Like I say,love, lust, hard work and consideration are important as is being freinds as well.
304077
There are several organizations that might sponser you, start with your church and look online.  A good class to take is Perspectives.  It is about world missions, but they introduce a lot of organizations that sponser people, and maybe you could network.  Also volunteer and play at other churches and organizations, and sell them on your idea.  You never know who will be in the audience.\n\nAs far as your wife, call her and ask her why she left.  Maybe she is going through a difficult time.  Try to be there for her, as well as have a clear vision for where you are going in life.  You could get support in a divorce support group (divorcecare is good) and they usually have trained specialists to help you through that stuff.  But as far as taking her back, that's up to you and God.
696397
Oh, don't you just love being a woman!  As women, we tend to always want to mend anything, regardless of how much it's hurts us in the past.  My advice to "put the spark back into your marriage" would be to start doing absolutely NEW things together.  This way, you begin creating new memories that will hopefully be pleasing to you.  Then, these new memories can start to fade away the old negative ones and give you more of a sense of hope.  Also, if you believe in the Lord, pray about it.  Satan's best way to destroy you is to start in your home by separating the family.  He attempts to destroy that first, then begins working on you individually.
434857
hmmmm...tough life!\ni understand its never easy to go in for change at this stage in life when one especially feels like sitting back and looking at the life one has lived and smiling about it.\ni guess one shot at trying to salvage a 20 yr old marriage would be justified, so none of you two can blame oneself or the other one for not having done anything to preserve the marriage. and maybe it went this far just because u both have been waiting for the other one to speak up or adjust to you....and the distance kept on increasing gradually till it reached where it is today.\nit is never too late to start afresh, and neither to restart the same old life either.\nstart with talking to each other about the problems u both had(no fighting though)\ntry marriage counselling once(for yr kids if not yrself)\nand meanwhile try to make yr life lil more interesting, start working part time or something.\nand if nothing works...then u think about the rest\nface reality...u hav worked on yr life for 20 yrs and u hav 2 kids...u just cant let it go purely because someone thinks she can take yr place, but like i said earlier...no screaming and creating a mess, try and keep yr exteriors calm(very difficult, but thats the only way regretfully, even if u feel like shooting people)
199593
Sounds like your marriage really needs work.  Not just wishful thinking.  You have to show her you genuinely care enough to rebuild the marriage and she has to decide to stop looking elsewhere for what she's not getting from you.  There's a book called "His Needs/Her Needs" by Harley and it outlines that when specific needs are not being met that one of people may go looking elsewhere.  It doesn't mean they should do it but it can happen.  There is always hope if both people want to work through it.