my bf just lost a family member and quit smoking.he's been in a bad mood- how can i make things better?
536896
Just the quitting smoking is enough to have those symptoms.  It's said it takes a month to get out of your system, but when I've quit before (even with the patch) it seems to be much longer than that.  Adding the uneccesary stress of a loss...  All I can say is support him.  Accept his moods, not as an insult to you, they aren't, he can't control them when he is nic-ing out.  Just let him know that you are there for him.  Spend time, but don't push.  If he wants to sit and brood, give him a peck on the cheek, sit near him, and think about something that interests you.  Your presence should help him, even when he's not in control of his emotions enough to express it.  It'll be a rough ride, but if he's a keeper, he's worth the effort.  Good luck and don't get down on yourself about this.  He's trying to change for the better in a rough time.  Wish him well, but don't push him.
775867
all you can do is basically be supportive and help him when he needs you.  he will get better.
762406
Don't let a break up make your health even worse (along with stress) by smoking.\n\nDrinking is bad for you also.\n\nTake better care of yourself and get yourself a better man.
184718
Try telling him all the complications due to smoking...and to quit smoking one must will power. Maybe try to get the nicitine patch for him and stuff like that...keep working him until he gives it up.
209364
You should just be there for him, let him know that drinking is not the answer, that it will just make him more depressed. If that is not enough, i really do think you should let his parents know what is going on.
934452
awe im sorry that hes going overseas =( i would suggest making him his favorite meal and making it a big thing. i mean like candles, music, all the works. and maybe let him pick a movie to watch and "snuggle" in bed. have fun.
671743
I feel you. I think he could have try harder if he wanted to. I know the excuse "i forgot" or I was going to do it relax" and you didnt see shit done. If it is going to be like that I feel you should move out and take a break let him know you are not happy at all and you are under a lot of stress. What will he do without you. He needs to appreciate the things you do as a mother and wife. You need a man not another child you have to take care of. You must feel really lonely and yearning for a man.Take a break and try to relax, go out with friends and take a deep breathe.Try not to overthink yourself cause you will go crazy. I know you have bills to pay but figure out how to get out of this rotation with him cause after awhile it gets pretty tiring. I hope nothing but the best for you and take it one step at a time.
172114
I have kinda been there before. My hubbies mom passed away and it was horrible. What you can do is just be there for him. Maybe you and your bf can spend the day with him and make it a day no one will forget. Sometimes all you can do is be quiet and listen to what they have to say. It helps. Good luck I hope that it all works out for you.
423141
Whatever happens don't give up faith for him to stop!\nGod will be there for him if he has the will power to stop.\nSay a prayer for him and I will too.\nWhen he's depressed or anxiety ridden, do something that will take his mind off of it. Try going for a walk somewhere nice. A park where flowers are in bloom, pretty sites to see, or do something that he enjoys. Just renting a funny movie sometimes is enough to get a laugh out of some one that feeling down. Even that's something.\n\nP.S. The above abuser Tweaka30 has been turned in. There was no reason for that kind of remark.\nI'm even sorry that he said that. Some people are beyond immaturity!!\n\nGood luck to you with your boyfriends issues.   \nSmileyCat : )
769771
Everyone keeps telling you it's hard, it hurts...but I wanna say it is an good opportunity for you to take an emotional break. Just take off from the bad relationship you had before. Now focusing on yourself, do anything make yoruself happy. Beatify yourself, dress up, workout, study, go to the beach, meet friends...Many things you can do to make the world starts to spin for you not him any more. When you can't keep your mind off him, just give it a break and do things that you feel most relaxed and your attention can be carried away the easieast. Soonner or later, you will realize you don't need him in your life to make yourself feel better, look prettier, and being appreciated more by people.
158689
I am so sorry to hear of your loss.  It's so hard when a parent dies.  My Dad just died last month.  My cousin told me that the first 2 weeks would be the hardest and he was right, but it may be different for everyone. Personally, I got so much strength from remembering him as the great person he always was. Think of all the wonderful memories and ways that you admired him. Everyday you'll find happy little reminders of him and that will help to ease your pain. Of course everyone needs a mourning period but it doesn't have to be a totally dark experience. Take time to remember the lighter parts of life you had with him.  I found that keeping myself busy helped me a lot too.  Please remember that he would want you to remember these times and to live the rest of your life as he would have lived his.  I hope this helps your transition.
990392
I'm there with you! I actually quit about 2 months ago, and then 2 weeks ago I was under a lot of stress and started back up again. I kept smoking one or two a day and kept telling myself, I'm not smoking again, I'll quit tomorrow, but I haven't. I think that you really, really have to want to quit. Not for your family, or your health, but just because you don't want to do it anymore. My dad, who is 54, quit a few weeks ago, and he has smoked since he was 16. He is using the patches. I'll pray for you and you pray for me! Good luck!
590928
in a relaxed setting, when there calm, etc. if you know that your bf is a good guy i wouldn't worry about your family not accepting him. if its otherwise, i'd think of some crafty way to do it.
636316
I say that you should try to sort of comfort him and lay off of him alittle at the same time. My mom was really sensitive when my grandma died, and she would get upset about the stupidest little things. So my dad,brother and I would all just, you know, hug her and be extra nice to her, but not dissagree or argue or anything like that.Her "depressing stage" went away in acouple of weeks.Well, best of luck to you and your boyfriend.
653192
Why would you want to?? All that would do is change his mood from happy to grumpy..trust me I live with it everyday. There are somethings that are better left alone
221701
He has had his open heart surgery and coming home. Make him feel warm and comfortable..make the place feel calm and peaceful. Make up a lovely dinner for him (light and according to what the doc's told he could have) and play some light soothing music..talk to him about things thats been happening so that he'd feel he didnt miss out on anything. Dont talk about the surgery or anything related to medicines, hospitals or doctors. He was sick and since he's had the surgery, dont let him feel like a 'patient'..talk positive.\n\nProbably u three could sit and play a game or something or watch some old home videos taken in the past..If you really want to 'buy' him something, buy him a card with beautiful wordings saying that you all are happy he's back homem again ..probably a huge one with ur granddaughters words on it too..\n\nHe'll get well soon..ur in my prayers..
104040
respect the person you love. listen to them and respect their view on issues you discuss,even if you don't agree. Don't talk mean to them or treat them bad. do special things for them that you know they like. ask them how their day went. Make them a special dinner or dessert. Help them work to make your home a place that you both are proud of. respect their family even if you don't like them. one of the worst things to do is talk bad about your mates family, it will eventually come back to haunt you. show them love and compassion. a hug,loving touch or kiss. take the time every day to show them in any way that you care through bad and good times. these are the things i do because i know that i have a wonderful man and thank god everyday for him.