we r living with our in-laws, we hve 1 yr old baby. My monther in-la  is always interfering in everything?
538665
Are you living with them because you think you'll both be financially better off in the long run?  DON'T.  It's not worth hanging out for the money if it means affecting your relationship and your child.  \n\nYour husband and yourself need to have a one-one-one chat.  Do yourselves a budget up so you know you'll get by financially and move out of there.  In a few years your child will be at school and you'll be able to go back to work, it will get easier then, you'll have more money.\n\nDon't worry about the money that you could inherit - if she dies, you might get it one day anyway, and if she doesn't leave it to you, you can still have a wonderful life with your husband without the money!  \n\nIf money means that much, work hard and save it yourself!\n\nLife isn't about money it can't buy happiness (as you're beginning to find out!) - you could get hit by a bus tomorrow and you can't take it with you!  If you want to be happy, you need to convince your husband that this is what you need to do for your relationship and your child.  Good luck.
479966
Talk about role reversals, they are being childish about this and your being cornered to being the parent of their situation.  In your daughters situation I would simply say you are both welcomed to visit when ever your available, if you don't want to be around when they other is then you settle that between yourselves, your both adults!  As for other arrangements that require you to schedule time for each because they no longer live together...that will have to be dealt with on a individual basis or for the holidays ...birthdays...have the festivities at your place and welcome both...that gives them equal opportunity to spend time with you and your daughter...not to mention being a family for family sake.
652225
I FEEL SO BAD! Where's the time for you? I didn't see anything for you at all. I didn't see any counseling for yourself. My fiancee has ADHD also and I know how that part of what you're going through. We're not married yet, but it's taken quite a bit to get his mom to finally accept our relationship but, your mothers treatment is UNACCEPTABLE! You ever watch the Nanny on tv? She says a childs behavior is UNACCEPTABLE quite a bit. She's not a child (which would be more Acceptable) she should be showing you more respect. You can only do what you can handle. You're first priority is to yourself and your immediate family. Meaning you, your children and your spouse. Your husband needs to stand up to the plate. (as my fiancee finally did) He needs to back you when it comes to his mother. His first priority is with you and your children. He also needs to be helping you with the children and around the house as much as possible. Even though he doesn't work, you two need to have a night out once-in-awhile by yourselves. Maybe, you can talk to your mother-in-law about a limit of times to help her and she in return watches the children for you night out. By this I mean EQUAL TIME. As far as the bills, reality isn't that your mother-in-law is going to pay the bills. First off, I don't see if you're living with your mother-in-law but, if you are that's going to be a majority of the problem. Which getting your own place would be greatly advised. There are places that can help with deposits and financial resources. In all, it makes me believe you are living with your mother-in-law and that's going to be a very hard and stressful situation. My advise is to move. Your husband may be ADHD (so is my fiancee) but, he still needs to know he is to be responsible. Write down what he needs to do and try to involve the children in all the chores. Watch "The Nanny." Or go online if you can't get that show in. She helps not only the children but, the relationship with the parents towards how to keep everything together. You're not a work horse and no one should treat you according. Good Luck!
966191
hang in there its only till January right around the corner and I know your thankful for having a roof over your head and that your inlaws have opened there house to you. I'm sure there feeling confined and missing there privacy too. Try to continue working this will help be away from the house as much as possible and when you are home try to find a quiet place where you can read a book or even soak in a tub for a bit its only a couple more months in the mean time you enjoy planning and having parties. why not get a pad and pen out and start planning this wonderful party your going to have once you get your new home. take this time to prepare and jot down ideas of what you want with this new house warming party. this should carry you through till January. good luck
475967
Of course you don't want your baby crawling around with insects or insects crawling on your baby!  I would advise you to contact the housing code or zone enforcement people - not sure what name they would be under in your area - the people who would condemn a building - that's the agency you want to contact.  That agency also makes landlords bring their buildings up to code.  The one time I did this over broken windows during the winter - the rental ended up being so bad that they made landlord fix it first which meant we had to move out within a month.  Don't put this off - I agree with your wife!  (What other insects are there that you might not be seeing also?)  GOOD LUCK!
621447
Here is arecent one.  My mother in law has been ranting and raving about throwing me a baby shower since January (Im due at the end of this month)  \n2 weeks ago she tells me that she doesnt have the money anymore and she would rather just take me to the store.  So I was dissapointed, but I had to deal with it.\nSo my sister in law ends up inviting some relatives over from my dads side of the family ( I am not even close with them, she just planned the event so that I would get some seriously needed gifts) She never met Danny's mom so she didnt even think of inviting her.  it was a small get together with under 10 people.. no big deal but a great gesture!\nSo long story short, the monster in law is not speaking to me now.  Mind you this was a surprise shower I didnt know until I walked in... not only is she not speaking to me but neither are his 2 sisters.  I could have the baby any second and I feel like this tension is not only unecessary but really hurt ful and mean. \nThere is my story!
538360
pretty simple move with your husband and leave in-laws there!! why would in-laws go with you any way?? are you married to them also, or what- that was the weirdest question I've seen in a long time!!
248916
When you marry someone, you marry their family, like it or not.  Have you tried talking to your mother in law directly about the intrusiveness of her visits?  Perhaps explaining to her that you need some family time with just your wife (and kids?) will help her to understand and minimize her visits.  Do you ever visit her house?  Perhaps that's why she's always over at yours.\n\nInitiate a visit or dinner with your MIL - that will show your wife that you aren't rejecting her mother (btw - "getting rid of her" is the exact kind of wording that will get you into more hot water), but simply trying to maintain some family boundaries as well.\n\nGive a little and get a little.
767822
I agree with what several answerers commented: make mommy-in-law pay 1/3 of the mortgage and bills if everything is supposed to be equal. If she were on her own she would be responsible for 100% of her own expenses - therefore this is a great set-up for her. \n\nHe sounds very selfish and/or uneducated. If his mother isn't insisting on covering a portion of the expenses (medications, groceries, rent, utilities, etc.) she is nothing but a leach. He may be a predator and his mommy dearest may be his partner in crime. If I were to try to bring my mother to live with me she would absolutely refuse unless I agreed to let her handle some of the expenses. My dad is the same way - he carries his own weight and would want to make sure he did his part. It's all in how you are brought up, dear. I would never feel comfortable in a situation like yours - his mother is a bigger priority than you are. I'm not sure how old she is but if she is drawing social security, a pension, public assistance, or whatever she could still have a life of her own, unless she is an invalid or has debilatating health problems. She could move in with a widowed friend and have someone her own age to converse with and do things with.\n\nThe only time I ever paid a portion of the house payment was when I made more than my husband did. We sat down, made a budget, and figured out where monies were to be allocated. I was the saver and he was a spender so I kept a separate savings account that I had money automatically deducted out of my check for. If we needed to draw on that money for emergencies or special expenses we did so only after discussing it. It was never a control thing - it was just a smart thing to do in this day and age. We both agreed that it was smart for me to have my own account (we also had a joint account) once he started earning more than I did, just in case something were ever to happen to him. I also built up credit in my own name - it's just an intelligent thing to do in case anything were to happen to him and I was on my own.\n\nAnother point to ponder in your relationship (you may want to bring this up now before you have a mortgage payment) is what happens if you decide to get (or accidently become) pregnant? What if, for some unforeseen reason, you are unable to work? What about child care expenses, etc.? Kids aren't cheap. Is he going to be able to handle all of your joint expenses alone, if need be? When my husband wanted me to quit my job after I was diagnosed with breast cancer, we agreed that he would pay for 100% of everything for several months while my checks went into savings, just to make sure we could make it on just 1 paycheck.\n\nThere are always options - you just have to consider them.
822311
WOW...whats the big deal, your mil loves your child and when she gets to see him she wants to express all her love on him. You should be thankful, some grandparents dont want anything to do with thier grandkids.\nWhat is the harm in letting her take over when you visit????\nYou get to have the baby to yourself and be a full time mom at home, I dont see your frustration in her actions, you should be happy that she cares so much.\nI feel sorry for you and your son because if you keep letting this get under your skin you will never have a good relationship with her, I think you have other issues with your mil and this is the reason that it bothers you so much when she "takes over" with the baby.\nI dont mean to get on your case but grow up and let your family enjoy your son, it will only benefit him in the long run.
254340
When you have kids, that can really take a toll on your relationship. Try arranging date nites. No matter what comes up. designate a specific evening of the week (month)...how ever you choose and use that as your "date nite". Get the in-laws or your parents to watch the kids and treat yourself and hubby to a romantic evening.
639245
this is so common i am sorry for what your going through i would hurry today guy and report her ! i dont know if she can get legal now it most likley if she still has your baby and she gives birth here
491495
You can't.\n\nMy mother in-law was a leach to our marriage for 2 years after she left my father in-law and then it got worse when my wife was pregnant and we had our first son. I hold my mother in-law 50% responsible for destroying my marriage with her interference.
1089077
She can apply for emancipation. which will make her a legal adult.  But she does seem too young for you.  She probably thinks you are the way out of the hell she is in.  It sounds like the baby would be better off elsewhere, and not with you.  You like the young ones right?
131010
girl, i feel your pain. i have the mother-in-law blues as well.  she shouldnt be so intrusive and pushy. my fiance and i just had a falling out with his mother. our lives are so peaceful when they dont talk. i dont know how close your husband is with his mother, but there are lines you just dont cross and shes just testing you out. i dont know if your a blunt person or not like me, but you and your husband can both say it her so that she understands its the two of you who feel this way. not just you. you have every right to feel uncomfortable about someone knowing your finances and business period. but first talk to your husband before you talk to her. good luck.
356512
Talk to your wife! Tell her the situation without getting upset with her. She loves her daughter and knows that her daughter is out of control but who will take care of that child her daughter had? Maybe she feels it is safer for the grand baby to be with the two of you and not left all alone some where. It does seem too much for someone of 23 to act with such disrespect and she seems childish in a way. Set rules with her and tell her it is your home and not to bring strangers into your home again! If u set boundaries and that doesn't work then i would make her leave your home instead of ruining your marriage! I would only leave your wife if she wouldn't respect your wishes for things to change and put her foot down as well. Good luck!
602405
I can't stand my inlaws!! They are so fake! They act like they like me but, behide my back they talk about me. I have acually heard her talk about me! I can't believe they can be that way! I had tried so hard in the begining to get along with them but I stopped that a long time ago! I guess first impressions mean alot because that was when she brushed me off when I said hello. If my husban is not home and she calls I don't pick up the phone and she knows I'm home. I know that get's her upset. But I love it!! So my suggestion is focus on your fam and avoid her! But ofcoures say hello once in a blue moon. I know you not getting along with her came create unwanted problems in your relationship! Best of luck:)