Do I have to give up my visitation weekends with my daughter if I don't want to switch with mother?
551632
It depends on the wording of the court order.  What does it say about reasonable accomodation for visitation arrangements.  Also, take into consideration what is best for your child.  Will it take a little accomodation on your part to make the switch feasible?  If so, isn't a little compromise better for the environment of the child who will see his/her parents working together rather than against each other?
203029
You can be emotionally free of that person, but you will never be freed of the responsibility of the child you both made. You owe the other person respect as the childs parent, but nothing more. Tell him your relationship is over, and other than conversation about the child and the childs needs, you have nothing to discuss. Do not argue, do not meet anywhere. Drop the child off at his mothers when it's time for visitation and pick the child up there. You have to separate your personal life from him.
603258
I wouldn't leave the state because, eventually, she will wise up and realize she needs and loves you.  That you are the only mother she has.  \n\nI would, however, not contact her (for 2 months).  I would want to know how long it would be before she missed me...but that is because I would be curious.  After 2 months, I would make contact again because I would never give up.  I am not recommending you do that...you need to decide for yourself what course of action you want to pursue.\n\nI'm sorry that your daughter is treating you like this.  You are obviously trying but she is just being obnoxious and rude.  Sounds like she is siding with her father over the separation and there is no way to know what he is telling her.  Just take it a day at a time and someday, she will wise up.
1133284
Sounds like the best thing would be all of you have family counseling together, especially to support the teenage daughter.  If you move, who's to say the the ex won't move also?  I also think it depends on how old the teenage daughter is........it is sad that children have this magical thinking regarding a parent that is unable to give them what they need.  They give them way too much power when it comes to their feelings.....very sad.  The child might be at the point where she says "No thanks" to whenever the mother feels the notion to see her.  I would suggest the family counseling and get feedback regarding the idea of moving.
410530
She clearly wants no part of her daughters life if she hasn't been around in 3 years. Leaving it open for her to just start up visiting whenever she wants, could be confusing and harmful to your daughter. \n\nYes, if it were me, I would stop visitation, and may even consider terminating her rights, but only if you thought your daughter was in danger. Other than that, stopping visitation now, will not end it permanetly, and if she came around and was being good to your daughter later, then you could re-instate it later.\n\nYour daughter might want to know about her mother someday, and that will be a delicate issue. Hopefully by the time she does, her mother will have come around. See a lawyer, and they can help you handle the legality of it.\n\nMy eldest daughters father walked out on us when she was only 1 year old. She is almost 10, and he hasn't seen her since he left. Just the last few years, he settled down, remarried, and had another child. Now, he has really stepped up, taking advantage of getting to know her. Maybe your ex will come around someday, so give her that chance, but do what you can to protect your daughter too.
739484
"Any thoughts on family law. Advise please!? My question is in regards to visitation, child support and child's well-being.  My 5 yr old son's father used to be very regular on child support payments and visitation. 2 years ago I remarried and began going to counselling because of problems with or son. In this time we discovered he had a problem with transitions. We got my son's father to come to a meeting and he agreed to help anyway he could. About year ago, he decided to take on a new job which was supposed to pay off some debt he had. His visitation became less frequent and payments started becoming late. I confronted him on his decision as my son was already getting very upset about less visitation, Plus he was acting out. Then last April he went on a trip for a month overseas. He kept up his payments but his visitation was getting worse.Now both visitation and payments are declining. He is not phoning to say he can't make it my son is very upset. What can I do from a legal standpoint? What are my son's rights? Thank you."\n\nThere is no quick answer to your question.\n\nYou have two separate issues that are not really related in the eyes of the law.\n\nFirst, there is the problem of irregular visitation by the non-custodial parent and the impact it has on your child.  Unfortunately, there's nothing the Court can do about that and as you already know, you'll be challenged in your own attempts to deal with it.\n\nLet me stress that in response to your amplification on the question (here and elsewhere): There is nothing you can do in a legal forum to make a dad a better dad.  If you feel that your child's interaction with his father is detrimental to the child, then you can ask a judge to have visitation reduced or entirely eliminated (though usually the father has to be unfit in order to justify such actions).  I understand that it's a rough set of circumstances, but unless there is abuse or neglect-- that is causing actual physical harm to your son or a failure to thrive-- the courts and even governmental agencies like Child Protective Services (or DCFS, etc.) are powerless to act.\n\nIt isn't the role of government to make people better parents.  You picked the father and had a child with him.  That means dealing with him-- and all the problems he brings along-- at least until your child is 18 years of age.  That's just the reality of it.  And no court can change that.\n\nSeparate the issue of visitation and child support in your mind-- and then call the child's father and-- focusing on the psychological needs of your child-- ask that the father make more frequent phone calls to his child and that he try to keep up with the visitation schedule better.  Try to be understanding about your ex's situation-- because being snippy and accusative with him won't get the results you want for your child.  \n\nAgain, in response to your amplification, even if you've been patient for a very long time and you have now run out of understanding and patience, if it's your child that you care about then you'll remember honey's the best way to catch a fly.  That it isn't too much too ask for the father to keep his visitation schedule isn't what's going to get him involved.  If you nag, he won't want to come around.  If you hound him, he won't want to come around.  If he owes support and doesn't want to feel guilty about it, then he won't come around.  You have a lot to do with whether or not he'll come around to spend time with your child.  \n\nSecond, there's the separate issue of child support.  Back child support is something the Court can and will do something about.  In fact, you don't even have to go to Court-- your state has a child support enforcement agency mandated by federal law that will help you collect back child support.  \n\nI'd start by contacting them and filling out an application to get their ass
790245
Oh yay, parents.\n\nFact is, she has no bearing on what you and your hubby do in rearing your children (biological or not). You are the functional unit. Tell her that. If she doesn't respect it...reduce the time she is allowed to be around you two. Tell her that you love her, but you have to keep the best interests of your family at heart and she is meddling in business she shouldn't bother with. Tell her that she either stopps or you will have to disallow visits with the kiddos to keep their best interest at heart.\n\nGrandchildren are a privlidge not a right. \n\n\nShe is your momma and I know you love her. I hate it when this type of thing happens. She is jealous of something, maybe it is because she wants to monopolize your love or maybe she is just alone. Tell her you want to help her and have her be a major part of your life and your childrens life. Offer family visits to the psychologist. Grandparents are a blessing and I know I wouldn't be the person I am today if I hadn't have had my Dad's Mom and Dad involved in my life. However, it was a healthy involvement...\n\nI am sorry you are stuck in the middle. That sucks so bad.
352342
IF SHE IS NOT WILLING TO ACCEPT YOUR SON THAN SHE IS NOT THE ONE FOR YOU. THAT'S ALSO GOOD THAT YOU ARE TAKING CARE OF YOUR RESPONSIBILITIES KEEP ON TAKING CARE OF YOU AND YOUR SON AND THE RIGHT ONE WILL COME ALONG.
302233
Why don't you try and communicate with your mom, tell her why you don't want to go, and let her tell you why she chose dancung for you.\nIf you a good reason for not going I am sure she will understand, if not then you have no choice other than going.
718084
Why not see if you can get a free consultation with a lawyer or someone who can look over the papers and tell you what they mean.  It seems that if a parent didn't want visitation, they wouldn't be able to force it.  I mean, how would it be in the best interest of the child to send them to spend time with someone who wants nothing to do with them?  It wouldn't be doing the father or the child any good.  They shouldn't be concerned, especially if he is paying support and not causing any trouble with the girl and her mother.
171250
That depends on why, In some states minors 12 and over can tell the judge if their is a reason why you want to stay with one parent over the other. On the other hand if you do not like your mother because she makes you do your homework and doesn't let you do some of the things you want then you should stick with the parent that makes decisions based on what is right not what is popular you will be glad of that 10 years from now.Trust me it isn't always as easy for a parent to not let you stay out that extra hour or let you ride in a car with a friend that has had his/her licence less than 6 months when your are 15 but they do out of love and experance we have done some of the same things our chidren do mistakes included, that fine line between trust and guidence isn't always easy to see we make mistakes too.
894253
Sure, she can say she doesn't want to go and she doesn't have to.  She can also say she doesn't want to eat her vegetables or do her homework.  Unless someone makes her do these things she won't.  Visiting her Dad is a good thing, whether she likes it or not, and we often have to force our kids to do "what's good for them."
226481
Some new mothers find it hard to part with their new born infant in the beginning, eventually the newness will wear off and if you continue to be supportive the mother will see this and most likely lighten up some.  also you owe it to your daughter to try to be a part of her life even if you don't stay with the mother.\n\nI commend you on wanting to be there for your daughter... keep it up Daddy!
386166
If you had a divorce the Judge should have spelled out in writing what rights you do have. And if he awarded you rights to visitation then (as my uncle used to say) "By gum" exercise  those rights.\n\nIf he never gave any rights or any mention of your rights - YOU NEED TO GET THEM!\n\nTake her to court. Unless a judge rules against you, you have rights to see your son.\n\nHOWEVER - Please note this does not entitle you to just any time you want come over and see him because she does have a life. Judges look down on an intrusive ex husband as much as a ex-wife who deprives  the child of the father.\n\nFIRST try to make a written agreement when  you can see your son. Tell her unless she signs and abides by it you will take her to court to get visitation rights and  that wont be a fun experience. Be nice as possible, and have a NEUTRAL WITNESS if you do this.  Elsewise, just up and have the judge take care of it.\n\nBeen There - Done That.  The Judge gave a fair ruling of every other weekend and six weeks in the summer. My daughter at the time was about four so I dont know how they will treat a case with an infant involved.
419547
You can't. Even when you do get out of the house. She's still mom and she's going to always tell you how she feels about things and 9 times out of 10, she's right. She's only looking out for your best interest. I understand what you are going through. I'm grown and my mom still be in my relationship.
661295
Well, chances are that she will get custody of your daughter.  If you believe what Dr. Phis says, children would rather be from a broken home than live in one.  You never made a commitment to the girl, which I believe is wrong anyway, but I don't think using one another just for sex is a reason to stay in a relationship.  It has to be built on more than that.  Nobody can tell you what you should do, nor should they, but I think that you need to find love and commit yourself to a woman for life.  Good luck.
991150
Actually, you and your husband should have full custody of your child, since the Mother was incarcerated.  \n\nThe Mother has to have a "permenant" address, in which to file, for joint custody, and that is only going to be on the weekends and maybe time in the Summer for vacations.\n\nYour child, if he/she is old enough can elect not to go to the Mother, for vacations as she may pose a danger to them, (if she is on drugs or some other thing that may be a restriction).\n\nCheck with your lawyer and see what your "rights" are, and what her "rights" may be...\n\nI wish you well..\n\nJesse