Im drinking heavily - my father did when he was alive, and Im worried im going the same way - how do i stop?
537543
I was in a similar situation and stopped drinking last September.  These are the things I did that helped me:\n\n1. Get rid of all alcohol in your household.  Don't wait to drink it all; pour it all out!\n\n2.  Keep a routine.  I kept my routine of going to the store after work and buying beverages.  Instead of buying bottled beer, I bought bottled carbonated water.  When I got home I popped opened a water and drank.  I went thru a lot of water in the beginning.  I eventually moved on to Diet Caffiene-Free Pepsi (caffiene actually makes me so anxious that I used to drink just to calm my nerves).\n  \n3.  I had to envision myself coming home from work and not having a drink.  I started first thing in the morning.  I saw myself doing my new routine instead.  I also reminded myself of the benefits of not drinking (living longer, feeling better, not being embarassed, happier family, the money I would save).\n\n4.  In the beginning, I had to decline/stay away from social events where I could see myself saying yes to having a drink (friend's BBQ, trips to Las Vegas).  Having friends that drink really does not help and it is best to avoid them in social situaitons where you might be tempted.  Despite how far you come along, it is those social situations where you might be tempted the most.  \n\n5.  When you do run across someone in public that has been drinking, remember what they look like, how they smell, how stupid they act/look.  That is how you look to others when you are drinking.  \n\nI found the first three days hard, then it was the second week, then the forth and fifth.  After the sixth week, it was pretty easy.  My wife, who had an occasional drink one a week, stopped as well to help me out.  \n\nI feel a lot better and I do not worry about smelling like a brewery in the morning.  I can also do alot more in the evening as I don't have to worry about drinking and driving.  I actually sleep a lot better.  Which is ironic because that was the reason I started to begin with.  Like a lot of people, I used alcohol to control my anxieties and OCD.  Good luck.
829604
I was so bad of an alcoholic that I was put on antabuse to prevent me from drinking. I haven't drank in 4 years. Yes, it is tough. Yes you will feel so thirsty that you feel parched. Yes, it will even be tougher than I am telling you. But all of the sudden, one day, you will get up and the sun will actually fell warm and look wonderful again. The smell of familiar things will make you want to cry again for the love of it not the pain. It does not sound silly. Your wine has been your friend and your comfort. But it has become your enemy now and you have to tell yourself that. Go to alcoholics anonymous and get a sponsor. Someone you can talk to. To relate with. That really helps. And guess what?? After a few years you can have a drink. Just know that when you do, you will drink until drunk and plan for it. I can drink now and control it instead of it controlling me. Because it was my best friend and your sickness knows you better than anyone. Call AA tonite.
140599
Tell him he's right, you can't drink that much and not vomit, it's part of self preservation, and otherwise you could risked passing out and vomiting in your sleep and dieing. \n\nAnd next time, don't drink too much.. eat a meal before drinking, know when you feel the buzz, and stop drinking for an hour, drink soda or better yet, anything without cabonation, since carbonation speeds up alcohol to the bloodlines.  An hour per drink is the rule for being and remaining sober, so slack up a while before needing to leave. And eat plenty of non salty foods/snacks, so you aren't retaining liquids.
999844
You've passed the enough stage.  Don't fight with a drunk...it's usless.  You need to pack your bags and leave.  It's the only way.  Most Alcoholics don't stop drinking until they reach rock bottom...l'd get him there quick if you want to save his life.
522267
It is good that you have made the admission that you have a drinking problem.  That is the first and most important step.  Unfortunately, it doesn't sound like you are truly ready to quit.  You will never be able to drink again or you will end up in poorer condition as it usually happens that people start drinking more after quitting for awhile.  If you were truly ready to quit, you would be willing to do ANYTHING to get over your problem...this would include following through with an AA group or such.  There are places available, for lots of money, that will detox you and give you a program to follow, but they usually end up telling you to go to an AA type of group.  Since you have little money, go to some AA groups, find out what you could be looking at in the future if you don't quit...its free!  It will also occupy time that you would be normally drinking.  Congrats on 5 days sober, you need to live it one day at a time and just thank God that you got through today and pray that you can get through tomorrow.  That is the basic premise of AA, but you need the support and encouragement!  Good luck though, whatever you decide to do.
604398
This will sound harsh but if you insist on enabling him and thereby losing control of your own life and thoughts ... I'd suggest buying him more booze and hope the end comes soon. On a more serious note, you could seek counseling for both you and him and for god's sake, get him to join AA.
605256
Interesting! I don't think modereate alcohol consumption can affect "performance" so I would suggest seeing a doctor about it! Are you sure you are not under a lot of stress at the minute?
708498
First of all, I want you to know I strongly empathize for you and am so sorry for what you're going through.  It must be extremely difficult to love someone who can't give love back to you, and to love someone who is toxic for you.  You asked for "advice".  Obviously, he had a drinking problem before the 2 of you married.  I say that because you've been married 10 years, but he has liver problems (I'm assuming from his alcohol intake) which take a while to manifest--usually liver damage shows up after about 15 years of continuous heavy drinking.  Don't quote me on that being specific to everyone--all of us break down alcohol through our pancreas and liver at various levels.  This man is showing you through his own behaviors that HE LOVES ALCOHOL MORE THAN HE LOVES YOU.  Additionally, he is becoming increasingly abusive...how long will you stay with him before he begins physically harming you to the point you end up in a hospital emergency room or worse?  And about the amount of beer he's drinking...quantity of alcohol intake has no relation to whether a person has a problem with alcohol or not.  It's what happens to that person when s/he drinks.  And with your husband, what happens is that he experiences difficulties in his marriage, becomes another person (one who is abusive and dangerous), and he has a past history of failed relationships.  I would venture to say he's having problems in other areas of his life such as financial, spiritual, social, vocational, etc.  The bottom line is YOU MUST TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!  And to do that means making some tough choices--IN SPITE OF HOW YOU FEEL TOWARD HIM!!  Go to Al-Anon (a 12-step group made up of family members just like you who have a loved one who is alcoholic).  Or call Al-Anon and ask that someone come to your house to visit with you, preferably at a time your husband is not at home.  And you're probably going to need to leave him (even temporarily), so you can think more clearly, have some peace of mind, and then be able to make more rational decisions for yourself.  REMEMBER: YOU CANNOT DO THIS ALONE.  YOU NEED THE SUPPORT OF OTHERS TO HELP YOU MAKE SOME VERY LIFE-CHANGING DECISIONS.  I do hope this helps you.  And know you are in my thoughts.
678010
My granfather was an alcoholic.... I say was because he died from it....the dr's kept tellin him to quit that he was going to die, but he didnt. Before he died he managed to get a mistress and be on his way to a divorce with the love of his life. He missed his daughter's graduation & wedding because he couldnt stay sober. He refused life insurance or insurance for his company so he left his family high and dry. And his son plans to punch him square in the nose when he "gets to heaven"... It gets worse.... this is just the basics. \nI hope you are able to forgive yourself and get help.
517975
My first answer is for you to tell someone you feel comfortable telling.  You may only be 13, but you can very well have an addiction that can last a lifetime.  I too, had alcohol addiction at 13.  I stopped drinking at 16 when I married and had my first child.  I wish that I would have asked my parents for help to stop.  Only you can make the decision to quit or to continue.  I tried to quit many times.  My friends didn't even know how much I drank. I am a Christian and I will be praying for you. I hope that is OK. My final answer is there is nothing wrong with you that is not wrong with many of us.  Always love yourself.
409848
My dad and I had a similar situation.  I moved in with him at 15 and we partied all the time.  But when I got older, I couldn't take the aftermath of a good bender. I didn't want to be like that drunk old man that didn't have a license, and broke his leg riding home from a bar on a bicycle.  I had a hard time breaking away, he was my dad and we'd be through hell together.  But I had to realize that he had at least started most of the trouble in the beginning.  And that I didn't want him to use me to validate his addictions.  Like saying "that's how we bond".  Usually I just resented him more after we partied.  I haven't seen my dad in 5 years.  I miss him, and I love him, but he's lost everything.  They have to want to quit like we did.  Sometimes, like once a year, I call him.  Make sure he's still alive and doing ok.  But from my experience, they only get worse.  Last time I called my dad had lost the house, his job, living with 4 other people in a house that should be condemned.  He's 51 and having seizures when he goes sober for hours.  I love him soooo much, but I can't bring that beer to him, roll his j, drive him around or keep his dealers off his butt anymore.  Just pray alot, think about the good times and move far enough away that she can't find you until you're independent enough to say no to her.
1003487
Record your calls if possible. Then you can hear when you're sober what you are saying and in what tone. It is possible he is trying to play some kind of guilt trip. Keep in mind though, that some people do become angry drunks. Some mellow, some cry, some get mad. I noticed in my earlier years that the mood I am in at the time I have a drink seems to be escalated if I continue to drink. If it is an issue with the alcohol, then why not stop? If he is this great love of your life, which would you rather have the bottle or him? Plus if you have an issue with the alcohol, think about what may happen if you do get married and have children?
428836
You absolutely have a drinking problem.  So do your 'friends'.  If you want to 'save yourself', and it sounds like you do, you must get new friends.  These 'friends' will take you down with them.  You definitely sound like you have the intelligence, courage and determination to be your own man (this is also called 'leadership').\n\nTake charge of your life.  Make the changes you know you need to make.  Move forward and do not look back.  That is the 'way of a winner' and you sound like you have what it takes to be a winner.\n\nBest wishes and good luck.
1121674
Have you ever thought of self-hypnosis?  What you have done thus far is probably the hardest step thus far.  You have already recognized one of the most important things of all and you have come from such a mature standpoint on this that I would say your chances of quitting for good are already quite high.\n\nHypnosis is a way to take your conscious messages and put them into the part of your brain that really controls your behavior; your subconscious mind.\n\nHere is one way to do that.  After you finish reading this, close your eyes and imagine the following scenes.  You will imagine two screens.  The first one you will imagine will have a dark frame around it.  I want you to spend some time imagining a movie in this dark frame about the negative effects of alcohol; the reasons you want to quit; the personal prices you paid, and how it has interferred with your life, the bad feelings you get etc ... \n\nNow, the other screen, I want you to imagine is bright and illuminated and beautiful.  On this screen picture yourself healthy, well, successful, and having quit drinking permanently and all the benefits and positive feelings you have associated with being free of alcohol forever.  Imagine the people in your life being proud of you and what you are accomplishing as a result of being free of this problem.\n\nNow, you likely will need support ... however, why not your friends, your family ... some people who care about you.  If they don't know that you drank or had a problem, tell them about it and tell them that you want their support.  I don't recommend AA.  I have seen what these meetings are all about and they, in my opinion, reinforce the negative.  Anything that suggests you keep reminding yourself that you are an alcoholic or suggesting that you are "powerless?" this is a lie that many people choose to believe, but I recommend that when you repeat a suggestion to your brain, that it be one that you want, not one that you don't want.  I also have an issue with the fact that all these alcholics sit there remembering about all the shame and mistakes they made when they drank or even the good times they had.  I realize that for some people this works.  But the system very DISempowering.\n\nYou are much better off right now to take what you have already learned and apply this through self-hypnosis, reinforcing the positive, and creating your own support system.
603238
well it seems clear to me you need to stay away from alcohol ! Good luck ! if you're tempted - grab a friend to hang with and stay busy til the urge passes.
658702
I am proud of you, it sounds like you are having a nervous breakdown, but you are still sound enough to know to ask for help and not drink. You don't need the risperdal, you need a good support group of friends and family to stand behind you and to keep doing what you arre doing and that is looking for healthy and wise anwsers. You are aware that you are a mother ,and I am proud that you are not neglecting the childrens future but your including them in your life and future.Of course if the rispidal takes the edge for you  and your doc recommened it well give it a few days, you will feel a little dopey the first few days, your body has toget use to it, Your doc will titrate the dosage as you move on. I am so sorry for the breakup that you are going thru, stay strong, don't let that man get the best of you. If you haven't family or friends than seek out some help form clinics in your neighbor hood or continue to talk to your doc. don't pick up that  beer, it will only make taking the risperdal worse and then you won't be there for you children when they need you. You have an important role in life, know and learn that now. I give you credit for you asking for advice on such. continue to chat with other q and a rooms.what ever ittakes, just love your children, listen to their needs and love yourself. your husband is either an idiot or the two of you may be able to make this break up an amicable one. someitmes people grow at different times which makes it hard for one to understand another.try a marriage counsellor. god bless  you and the kids, and remember , beer and booze will make you fat and old looking before your time :)
569890
Sweetie, re-read this passionately written factual letter and answer the question. He needs 1 yr of sobriety (not drinking) before he sees you alone. You have nothing to do with him while he is drinking. He created this, you cannot fix it. Be happy, guilt is a useless emotion. If he has 2 years to live, he has plenty of time to work on his drinking. These are his amends to make not yours.