My partner of 16 years left me and went to live with his mother when his dad died.?
549198
Sorry abt this , but forget it and get on with ur life ..Spend time for urself , have friends go out and party  ...
158689
I am so sorry to hear of your loss.  It's so hard when a parent dies.  My Dad just died last month.  My cousin told me that the first 2 weeks would be the hardest and he was right, but it may be different for everyone. Personally, I got so much strength from remembering him as the great person he always was. Think of all the wonderful memories and ways that you admired him. Everyday you'll find happy little reminders of him and that will help to ease your pain. Of course everyone needs a mourning period but it doesn't have to be a totally dark experience. Take time to remember the lighter parts of life you had with him.  I found that keeping myself busy helped me a lot too.  Please remember that he would want you to remember these times and to live the rest of your life as he would have lived his.  I hope this helps your transition.
149976
Wow. That's a long time. I'm sorry for your separation. I know it must be difficult for you. My parents separated when I was a baby and I never met my real father until I was 16. In fact he never communicated with me and only kept up with my progress through his mother who my mom stayed in contact with all through the years. I wrote to him and told him I would like to get to know him and it meant so much to him. He wrote me a very touching letter that let me know he regretted not getting to see me grow up and let me know he would give anything to spend time with me. He moved within the year from his home in California back to his mother's hometown in North Carolina and we visited back and forth from my home in Virginia for the next five years until he died in a tragic house fire. I was so very, very thankful for the time I spent getting to know him and the rest of his family. I learned that I inherited many traits from that side of the family and the oddities I thought I had were simply that I was more like his side of the family than my mom's side. As we get older we all want to know about our past, our roots, our history. If you are open and honest in your communication with your son I have no doubt that he will be thankful to get to know you. It might not feel like the traditional father/son relationship, but you will have your own unique relationship as my dad and I did and I will treasure it forever. My only regret is that he did not live to see his grandchildren. Just open your heart and let him know how you feel. Good luck!
985852
My parents got divorced and it was the best thing they could have done for us. I also am divorced and have two children. Their father and I co-parent very successfully because we got out of it before we turned hateful. I knew that it was enough when he would come home and I felt like my day just got shot down the tubes. Life is too short to be with someone who is not right for you. Try to discuss it when he is sober. Try counseling for yourself as an individual first, then suggest it for family therapy. If that does not work, then at least you tried and you know that you are doing the right thing.  It is a difficult decision, but just try to think if this is the man who you want to be with for every day of the rest of yoiur life. There may be someone else better suited for each of you and you will not be able to pursue that until you straighten out things for yourself first. Good luck with this sweetie, I know it is hard, but you can do it !
190142
well theres a reason u 2 broke up, so think bout that first. sounds like u have ur mind made up tho to go back to him so let him down easy, say its for ur kids.feel sorry for ur current tho probably got along well with ur kids, so now u gotta tell him where he went if u go back to thier dad.
393366
u could do both things.  if you move on with your life, it doesnt mean that u lost hope 4 ur father's return. i understand what u are feeling ryt now. but 4 me it hurts more because my father left and he mean it. but i'm still puzzled to what ahd happened to your dad.,, there are many possible reasons, the best way is to seek for it. don't jump into conclusions.
47632
i agree with the others, if you just move in and later break up, you can all be hurt, especially his daughter. i don't know the circumstances, but does he have full custody, is the child's mother going to have or be a problem? also are  YOU ready to take over the responsiblities of a child that's NOT yours? those are a few things to think about. and if you are thinking of moving in, i'd say it's pretty serious! how long have you been dating? please think of how this will affect his daughter before you do anything.
951710
i went through a very similar experience, though my parents were just divorced, but my dad was with my stepmother before my parents separated. she's this woman who completley changed him, in every way. he knows this because he cant be himself around her totally. im not sure how to give you advice because it sounds like your dads wife is just as crazy. i basically gave up the fight after awhile and havent really seen my dad. maybe some family therapy? im not sure, i just know its hard to deal with and i understand what you're going through. i hope that things get better! sorry this wasnt so much advice, as a comment but thats all i got.
959158
This is tragic.\n\nI am very sorry for what has happened.\n\nI feel frankly that you probably should go back with your momma. Your husband is being silly and throwing away a good woman. Moving your life is hard and he didn't seem to realize that not everyone can just pack up and leave. You were sick as well, so how dare he?\n\nIsn't he supposed to respect and love you? You have held your end of the bargan. He has failed with his. I would definatly move back with momma and divorce him. If he isn't willing to work it out and cheats...there really is little hope.
648419
Yes what is going on?  Ive heard fo younger fellas liking older women, but to actually take that a step further and sleep with you're g/f mum, is sick.  I hope you have dumped him?  Lets not forget that you're mum was the other sado in this, how can she do that to her daugher,i dont know how long you have been together,not that it should matter,she knew he was out of bounds as he was in an intimate relationship with you.  This is something that is going to take a long time to sort out, i dont think i could ever forgive my mum, and i would normally say there is two sides to every story, but in this one there is no excuse for what they have both done to you.  You must feel really confused,a mum should want to protect and love,care and be there when a daughter needs someone and no one else but mum would understand, she has broken so many rules by what she has done, and he is just pathetic to even have had the thought of going there never mind actually sleeping with her. If you think you want to try to save you're so called relationship with you're mum, maybe once you have healed and gone through all the emotions, you could consider councelling.  I would want some closure, maybe not right now as it probably is too painful, all the questions you must be asking and not to mention the thoughts,take a break go away somewhere if you can, visit a friend, give youreself some breathing space to think about how you want to deal with this, and when you feel you are strong enough, start the healing then, but i would keep councelling in mind.  I think you're mum might need some help and as for you're fella, what can i say, is he worth going through the pain you are feeling again?  Because he will do it again.  None of this is you're fault, these are two selfish people who had no regaurd for you're feelings,stay strong, and im so sorry to hear you have had to deal with this.  As i said do what you need to do to get you through this, you are worth so much more than to be treated like that.  Take care, and all the best of wishes for you're future.
984825
hey sweetie i don't know if it is normal for you to bethinking about this . but i can tell you that not having my mother or grand parents living it is very hard . it does not matter how old you are . you all ways need and want your mom in your life . i miss mine very much and its been 15 years since she died .but i can all so tell you that God he knows whats best for all of us . and he is there for us to . so don't you worry about your mom or grandmother passing away and leaving you . God forbid that ever happened he would take care of you . and you know your so young and life really is short . so you go give your mom and grandmother a big hug and kiss tell them how much you love them . and everyday make them feel special to you . and i have tears in my eyes as i type this to . because its so rare to find such a sweet teenager with a big heart like you have . just live  life and try to not worry and be happy OK ?
43143
I'm 16 an have seen plenty of men break my mothers heart. Theres not an easy way to get over it. It wont affect your kids too long. They will eventually get over the fact he isn't there, but they will always remember him and miss him. You on the other hand will take time. The best way to handle it is think that everything happens for a reason. You probably don't have much time for yourself right? Take the time that you do and write a list of all the wrong and hurtful things he has ever done or said to you. Read it over and over again. You'll eventually grow to not love him anymore. Trust me it works. Also he's far away, how can you love someone you don't see? I wish you the best of luck! Don't get too depressed it effects your childern badly.
1168862
i dont know - my dads been gone for 27 years ,he died when i was 8
367511
Well you could write them a letter about how you feel and leave it at that! And then go on with your plans together. They will either learn to live with their son's decision or they won't.\n\nThe parents aren't the ones in this relationship and if you both love each other, do what you need to do to be together. DON'T NOT be  together because of them. they are not in this relationship you both are, and you two should be happy. They'll get over it, it may take years, but at least you won't have to worry about your mother-in-law butting into your business, right off the bat.
402131
i think you must first understand that as much as people can love each other, their are other factors to adult relations, i think that it is showing that they do not seem to be getting on well right now adn it may mean that it is time for them to move on and seperate but it also may mean that they are going through a difficult time and may have to work at things for a while to make them better.\n\ndefo have a good chat with ur mum, tell her how ur feeling and maybe she will explain to you how things are for her and her partner right now, put ur mind at ease.\n\nif the do seperate im sure it will be best for all concerned, if not things may be difficult for a while as they try to repair things.\n\ni hope everything works out for the best sweetie, try not to worrie to much and remember no matter what happens you still have a very loving family around you that care for you very much x x
277579
Honey, I'm so sorry.  It all depends on if they work things out between them, but the truth is they may not even know at this time.  Please don't think it's your fault.  Adults have a lot of issues to deal with.  I'm sure your Dad loves you and misses you very much.  Include them in your prayers. I will too.
659139
I know how you feel my mum and i went through the same thing except she didn't have a child by him.She got married i did try to warn her but to no avail there is nothing else you can do except be there for her.my mum divorced after a year and moved away.I'm happy for you with your grades at least there not going down the pan.I am shocked she is still with him after saying he would be happy if you was dead.Hope you can make her see sense good luck xx