Did you ever have to poop and you can't stop what your doing and nearly crap yourself?
540437
yup! while i was trying to throw up. you ever try to poop and throw up at the same time? you have to aim for the little triangle hole that the toilet and your legs make! its not pretty but sometimes duty calls.
657909
The only time I let 'em rip is at home. At work, I stock, so I just crouch down to get something out of the box to stock and let it silently fly. If we are out at a restaurant, I excuse myself and go to the bathroom if it's going to be a seat rumbler. I think farting is hilarious...I can't help it. I don't do it in public, but it's still flat-out funny to me. I know...I'm so sick.
1022399
I get so mad I fling poo at myself.
443322
you can't stop it. if you did, you would die. Read a Heath book. if you eat.. you fart.
150915
not exactly, but when i was 17 i worked in a nursing facility as a housekeeper/janitor, and one day as i was cleaning a room, and i went to empty the bathroom trash. well, as i opened the bathroom door, there was a resident sitting on the toilet, (lady in her mid to upper 80's) i was so embarassed that i just left the room and went on to the next one. later that day, one of the female housekeepers told me that the lady felt bad that i got embarassed, but she wished i had shut the door because she wasn't finished. :)
540216
i was in the supermarket at the checkout when i farted. i tied so hard to hold it in but it just seeped out and man did it stink! i couldnt walk off or anything and it was terrible. a dog would have been proud of that one i tell ya!
738700
Some years ago, a friend at work used to make lunches for colleagues. They consisted of minced meat and vegetables with chilli and other spices inside pitta bread. He'd gradually increase the chilli content according to a scale he devised. I had just moved up to level 2 (of 5, I think), but at the time I was not used to piquant food. These lunches started to affect my whole body, upsetting my digestion, and even making my urine smell of the strong spices.\n\nOne day I was sitting on the toilet at work, dealing with the consequences of a previous lunch. This particular men's room had just one cubicle and two urinals. I heard a guy walk in to use a urinal, but I wanted to fart. I could feel it inside me. At first I thought: "no, I can't do it, this is the only cubicle, and he'll hear me". But then I thought: "that's ridiculous, what does he think I'm doing in here? And anyway it's only going to be a little chuff - he'll hardly hear it".\n\nSo bravely I released the "little chuff". I didn't force it, I just let it go. But this was no little chuff!! This fart was absolutely ferking enormous!!!! It exploded out of my backside, thundered round the pan, boomed about the cubicle and resounded around the entire men's room.\n\nFor a split second I was frozen in jaw-dropping, surprised shock. Where did that come from? [Well obviously I knew where, but it was completely different to anything I had expected.] Good grief!! How did that happen???!!    \n\nBut then, almost immediately, from outside the cubicle, I heard the horrified, and deafened, urinal user whisper loudly: "JEEssusss ccchhrriiiSSSTTTT!!!!". And then it was all I could do to contain myself, and stop laughing out loud. From fart through shock to near hysterics, and all within the space of five seconds. \n\nI had to wait till the place was empty again, before I left. After all, I didn't want to be identified as the man with a cannon for an anus. But it's a story that subsequently has brought tears to the eyes of amused listeners, and it's something that I'll never forget. Ah yes, such happy, treasured memories.
607089
O.k..\nLast week my sister got married and I was her bridesmaid...\nI dont know whether it was the cappucino or not but I Pooted during the blessing prayer!!..lol\nNo... Im not going to lie I farted and it was sooo loud because it was quiet then... the smell started to spread and the preacher was making twisted faces and stuff... and my BIL was laughing my sister was too...\nand someone was taping it for my mom so the next day she was showing it to people who didnt get to see it and they were laughin because the fart was audible... I was soo embaressed... the thought still makes me cringe n wanna cry...
1067359
I didn't do it... but my friend had to urinate. So he took off his pants and urinated.\n\nALL OVER THE CARPET.\n\nI made his *ss clean it up the next morning.
775808
We were at a hotel having a party and I was real drunk.  After several rounds of quarters I felt it was time to make some room in my stomach, if you know what I mean.  Anyway while I was in the bathroom I began to feel hot so I started to strip and throw toilet water all over me, I mean on my face in my mouth it makes me sick to even think about it.  YUCK........
312738
i personally don't c what's so funny about it but, hey whatever floats ur boat. but , i do think Ms. Tracey Lyn is right it , sounds like u pooped ur pant's!! \n\nP.S.ALWAYS REMEMBER 2 WIPE IF U DON'T WANT 2 WALK AROUND W/ SKIDMARKS ON THE BACK OF UR PANTS
513368
No, but I have farted while sneezing, from sheer force!  Very embarrassing!
487011
Okay you asked for it. You know when you sit on the toilet to poo? well do that but in your pants. When you feel a mushy senstation and smell what you ate yesterday you know that you have succesfully pooped yourself.
543820
One time I crapped my pants in my car because my kid was too hard to get out of his car seat and run into a gas station and go....it was beyond the point of getting out of the car to go into public...I just happened to be wearing a pair of loose shorts and no underwear that day (laundry day) so you can use your imagination as to what happend when I stood up. I laughed so hard I cried...and it was just so horrible.
191930
My co-workers tease me about having OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) because I always clean when I get bored. \n\nOne day I was really bored and decided to tidy up my area. There was this huge cord that had been hanging under my counter top for a long time, so I got out the heavy duty scissors and went to work on it. I cut it clean off and tossed it in the garbage. Shortly afterward the phones quit workng along with the VISA terminal and some other important electronic equipment.\n\nI almost lost my job that day. The phone company had to repair the line and splice together over 100 tiny wires I had cut. \n\nThese days I just go out for a Latte.
706691
yes it does freaking hurt. i've done it before, i really had to go to the bathroom and i was just outside in the snow and my toes were freezing and i was running for the bathroom and i ran into my stool, it hurt !
984276
Oh man I've swallowed sea water and felt like barfing. I'm thinking if someone drank a bunch of salt water on purpose they couldn't keep it down. Everyone but me that is. lol One time I thought I'd eaten bad food. It scared me so bad I tried to get rid of it. No luck. So I figured I'd mix baking soda with water and chug it. That's kinda like salt water. Well after chugging one large glass of this nasty stuff. lol. I tried and tried to barf. Fingers down the throat wouldn't work. Soooo, lol, down the hatch went another large glass of this nasty tasting stuff. I tried and tried. It never came up. So I wound up digesting all of it. lmao. The really old food and all that baking soda. Sick!\n.