I have an abusive boyfriend and I need to leave him but we live together ? Help me please?
540961
Been there and done that...not fun!  I feel for you but you have to be strong enough to GET OUT!  I had family and friends to help me out behind his back.  I planned carefully because he was smart and inquisitive, very controlling.  Get mad and smart too!  Figure out his work schedule and get it all done in a short amount of time.  Get a restraining order against him before you go so that you are somewhat protected when you leave.  Go somewhere safe where someone is with you all the time and has speed dial.  Get a plan B so that if this is not an option you have somewhere else to go.  Don't make him mad.  Above all don't let him see you are nervous.  Keep him calm and level headed until you pull it off.  Don't change your routine or compromise yourself.  Be sure to delete all "help" calls off the phone and alert the police of what you are about to do and the day and time.  You can also have the police escort you out once they know the situation if you need to do it that way.  My prayers go out with you!
1114076
i don't think that there is anything that anyone on here can tell you that you don't already know.you aren't going to "leave him"untill you are ready to. and unfortunetly it may take something really hurtful for you to do it.\n       i was with an abussive man for a little over a year. i loved him to death though. when he wasn't hitting me, and verbally abusing me, kicking down my door, and cheating on me, he was very funny and "loving." he was and still is the only person who can really make me laugh, but he's also the only one who can really make me cry. i put up with a lot for that year or so, and people told me to leave him alone. even the police told me to leave him alone. but i couldn't. i loved him and i knew that he would  "change." \n        one day we were arguing and he hit me down to the floor and just began kicking me in the back and stomach. that's when i realized that he actually didn't love me. he just wanted to controle me. and he was able to do that by being "super sweet" so if i ever had a doubt, i could also think of something sweet that he had done( which of course meant that he loved me). by the end of that relationship, my body would literally shake at the sight of him. even to this day, a little over a year later, if i see him walking on the street i'm terrified.\n     i don't know, all i'm saying is we can't make your decisions for you. you have to look at your future... do you see it getting better? worse? staying the same? and figure out whether that is what you want for the rest of your life. i would have married that man, if he had asked me to, i loved him that much. but if i would have, my life would be a living hell.
770108
I honestly don't have an answer for you because of these being the only details given.  I can tell you to leave this relationship as it sounds miserable and he is emotionally abusing you.\nHTH
634395
Honey it is time to step and ask yourself do you want to life like this. He is not only abusive but controlling. It will not get any better................
335244
Get out while you can.  If he's already controlling and possessive -- it's only going to get worse.  Find yourself a better man!
261694
it doesn't sound to good, he sounds like he's a nightmare to live with. my advice is leave him before you get hurt anymore.
667384
this is an abusive relationship, you need to report him.
718320
Call the National Domestic Violence Help Line.\n\n1.800.799.SAFE\n\nAlso visit \nhttp://www.womenslaw.org/MO/MO_links.htm\n\nIt has tons of information on what to do in an abusive situation and who to call.\n\nPlease, call now!  Do not let him abuse you again.  Get what you can carry into a suitcase, your kids if you have any and GO!!!!
706426
Get rid of your boyfriend, not your friends!  He's too controlling and that will create major problems for you later!
734288
I think it is time you left that relationship since you know he is threatening to kill you, he sounds like a really jealous guy and you don't need that in you life. I am sure that you love him but it could lead to something much more worse then what it is if you stay around him. I don't think it should be his business who you call and who you don't when he is not around, I am sure he has other women that he calls, so there is not excuse there. You should not subject yourself to violence, you could call the police and have him arrested for assault and battery. I am sure what you boyfriend intentions are were to get your attention but I think that is too much. Leave him and find someone who is not violent and jealous. You need to do whatever you can to get away from this guy because if you stay with him any longer you could end up in a body bag on the way to the morgue because you did not leave him when you should have and that is not something you need to face. So my suggestion is if you live with him move out immediately if not stop calling him answering his e-mails change your phone number if you have to find friend to hang out with until he is out of sight. You can do better and you will, just believe.
631226
Leave him, chances are you will be next This is how alot of domestice violence begins. \n\nBut call a family member and plan it ahead of time.
815025
He is a control freak though he must be quite insecure for him to act this way.  Presumably you have confronted him with his demons and asked him why he acts the way he does towards you. And I would imagine that you have told him that you are not happy with how things are between you.  \n\nYou have allowed yourself to be manipulated for 6 years and have done nothing about it, so I presume you were head over heels with your boyfriend. It is so hard to see a person for what they really are when you have an all consuming passion for someone. However, thank goodness you have woken up to the fact that he taking over your life and not allowing you to be yourself.\n\nJust imagine how unhappy you would be if you decided to marry this man. Gradually his possessiveness will turn to violence believe me. Especially if you started a family as he would not be allow you to share your love with anyone else.\n\nYou are your own person with a job and independence, so use that you your advantage and start saving some money so that you do not have to be dependant on him. Can you go back to your folks until you get your life sorted out?. I am sure they will welcome you with open arms, until you have sorted your life out.\n\nPlease do not leave it until you have reached the point of no return and do not let him use the emotional blackmail bit by telling you he will kill himself if you leave him. Be strong for everyones sake and go now...that's if that is what you want and feel there is no way of salvaging this relationship.\n\nAll the best to you my dear. Ax
288441
leave him- you deserve better
278180
You CAN live without him girlfirend!!!- All he will do in the future is bring you down- stealing from you and lying- that is something most strangers would not do to you- you need a new man and there is one out there for you jsut don't rush it. You can not have a relationship without trust and you need to dump him ASAP. If you think there will be trouble breaking it off with him or you feel that you will be weak in staying away fromm him then get yourself a support group or a counselor before you make the move. \nYou say you can not live iwthout him, but I'm sure most of your answers will be that you can't live WITH him. Good luck- be strong- he does not deserve you.
852697
.\n\nYour question displays good writing skills and clear thinking.  Hence, you are NOT incompetent NOR uncapable.  All romantic relationships point toward marriage.  Marriage is a bonding of help mates, people who help each other.  Your current bf is NOT helping you by calling you names that do not apply.  This is grounds enough for you to leave him.\n\nBeing constantly subjected to abuse damages the psyche and the soul.  I commend you for wanting to consider your own faults.  But you should really do this after you have removed the external abuse from your life.\n\nLeave this person.\n\nTake a deep breath for 2 weeks.\n\nThen evaluate your own faults and cupability.\n\nGood luck.\n\n.
853652
You should be able to move out provided your probation officer considers it a suitable environment.  If the court set the conditions of probation to be no contact with your boyfriend then you can not have contact with your boyfriend without risk of violating your probation.  When you violate your probation by being with him not only are you risking getting yourself in more trouble but you are putting your boyfriend at risk for getting into toruble because he is violating the restraining order.  There must be some reason your family and the court don't want you with this guy.  I am just wondering what it is that they see that you are not able to see.  Believe it or not they probably just want whats best for you.  Sometimes when we are young and in love we are blind to the harm a destructive relationship is causing in our own lives.
890937
fiancee??  4 years?  Hmm.  blaming.  Hmmm.  throwing, slamming, yelling.... Not good.  He needs to learn how to manage his anger.  If you don't leave, then this may very well escalate into another domestic violence statistic.  Go explain your situation to the battered women's shelter.  They will appropriately advise you.  It's hard for you to see and understand that YOU DO have options.  Go tomorrow and find out what they are before you get physically hurt.  I know the emotional part is bad enough.... So go tomorrow.