hello i'm trying to find a "joke" that talks about methods on slapping your children. 5 finger method, 5 acros
523307
These answers are very funny.
541417
Cartwheeling for Cash   \n \n  One day a little girl came running into her house yelling, "Mommy, I got five dollars!" \nThe mother was curious, so she asked her child where she got the five dollars from. \n\nThe little girl replied, ''Tommy down the street gave me five dollars for doing cartwheel while he sat in the tree. \n\nThe mother told her daughter, "Don't you know that Tommy is just trying to see your panties." \n\n''OOOOhhhh'' said the little girl. \n\nThe next day the little girl came running into the house yelling, "Mommy, I got ten dollars. The mother asked, "Where did you get the ten dollars from?" \n\nThe little girl replied, "Tommy down the street gave me ten dollars for doing a cartwheel while he sat up in the tree and laughed." \n\nThe mother replied, "Didn't I tell you that he is...'' \n\nBefore the mother could finish, the little girl said, ''Wait Mommy. I tricked him, I didn't wear any panties today.'' \n \n(hope this was wat u were looking for.)
766772
A little boy was caught swearing by his teacher.\n“Tyson,” she said, “you shouldn’t use that kind of language. Where\ndid you hear it?”\n“My daddy said it,” he responded.\n“Well, that doesn’t matter,” she explained, “I don’t want to hear\nthat language in here again.”\nAfter a moment, she thought she whispered aloud, “At least he\ndoesn’t know what it means.”\n“I do, too,” Tyson corrected. “It means the car won’t start.”
876169
I like that joke. It's not one to get offended about. It's very humorous! :)\nRaw Diva, don't listen to those arrogant foolish religious know it alls, especially common_sense_from_a_jerk!!!\nYou have a great joke and it's not distasteful in any way!\nI wanna hear another!!
611747
Have someone slap you. Get a grip.
322174
Do you mean a donut puncher?\n\nA crude but often humorous reference to the male rectum. Often, it is in reference to anal sex with a male, thus the "punch" part of the definition. Also can be a reference to male fisting.
485067
I heard it as two guys were walking along one day when they came to a picket fence.  Rather than go around it, they decided to jump over the fence.  One guy made it, the other didn't.  After they got him to the hospital, the first guy asks the doctor, "Where is he hurt, Doc?"\n\nThe doctor, without looking up from his medical chart, replies, "Rectum."\n\nThe guy responds, "Rectum? Damn near killed 'im!"\n\n\nThe punchline alone is funnier than the joke, because with the punchline, you get the toilet humor without having to think about it.  Sort of like the "er?  I hardly know 'er!" lines, like:\n\nPoker?  I hardly know 'er!\nButter?  I hardly know 'er!\nSucker?  I hardly know 'er!\netc.
307175
slap,pinch,point etc...
1122666
oh cool! It was my mum's birthday today as well! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!  here's a joke....\nLil' Johnny goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?" Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way. I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me Capitalism. Mommy is the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you The People. The nanny, well, consider her The Working Class. Your baby brother, we'll call him The Future. Now go think about this and see if it makes sense."\n\nSo the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying and runs to his room only to find that his diapers are very soiled. So the little boy goes to his parents' room. Mom is sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he looks through the peephole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed.\n\nThe next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand what politics is now."\n\n"Good son, tell me in your own words then what politics are."\n\nThe little boy replies, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in deep sh it."
889780
Hey!!!!NICE!!!\nI really like it, it’s a good one and its also unique, ive never heard such a gr8 joke before!!!!!\nI give it a 10/10 cuz it deserves it.\nI hope you keep sending more jokes like these!!!!
392472
In toddlers, they mimic the violence assuming its something they can mimic like hitting. In older kids...practically nothing. This is just an agenda pushed by the political right.
218018
This is a christian joke, but it's funny even if you're not christian(like me, i'm a Hindu)\n\nA new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass, he asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get anxious, I take a sip." So the next Sunday, he took the monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon his return to his office after mass, he found the following note on his door:\n\n1. Next time, sip the vodka, don't gulp\n2. There are 10 commandments, not 12.\n3. There are 12 disciples, not 10.\n4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.\n5. David slew Goliath. He did not kick the sh*t out of him.\n6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.\n7. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior, and the Spook.\n8. When David was hit by a rock and knocked off his donkey, we do not say he was stoned off his *ss.\n9. We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T."\n10. The recommended way to say grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, yay God.\n11. And lastly, the Virgin Maryshould never, under any circumstances, be called "Mary with the cherry."\n\nThis joke came from "The Little Big Book of Laughter." It is the most amazing joke book I have ever read, and I got it for Christmas.(Even though I'm hindu, we get presents at christmastime, not to celebrate the birth of Christ, but to celebrate the two weeks off that we all get.) You can read about it at the links below. Hope you like the Joke!
971176
Go to jokepictures.com.
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go to www.funnyjunk.com
89813
Does smacking someone in the face with one count? There are a few of my co-workers I could see myself doing that to...\n\nI've heard that second joke way too many times. Way to be original.
796494
There is one like that, but it goes:\n\n\nThere is a little boy and all he wants for Christmas is a new gaming system. So he writes a letter to Santa saying that he's been good and wants some cool PSP, (Or whatever else is cool), his dad (Being his kid's Santa)...Know that this isn't true, so he tells his kid to write another one. The kid does, and again it says "Dear Santa, I have been good and want a really cool _____!! Thanks!" The dad knows that this again isn't true. so pissed, the little boy goes to church, comes back with a balloon, and a small statue of Mary. So.. instead he writes: \n\nDear Jesus,\n\nI have your mother, if you want her back I need a new gaming system!!!\n\nThank you!
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This one is on the front page at eBaumsWorld.com: \nMike goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this great big huge guy standing next to him. The big guy sees the little guy staring at him, looks down and says, "7 feet tall, 350 lbs, 20 inch penis, testicles 3 lbs each, Turner Brown." Mike just faints dead away and falls to the floor. The big dude kneels down and brings him to, by slapping his face and shaking him. He asks, "Are you OK??" In a very weak voice Mike says, "Excuse me, but what did you just say to me?" The big dude says, "When I saw the curious look on your face, I just figured I'd give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me. "I'm 7 feet tall, weigh 350 lbs, have a 20 inch penis, my testicles weigh 3 lbs each, and my name is Turner Brown." Mike said, "Oh Thank God!!! I thought you said 'Turn Around!'"