im 15 and never met my dad and i want to but mom wont talk about him !?
536918
This is very difficult for you.  I know this for I too, never knew my real father.  It is difficult because you want to know if you are wanted, if you were important to him and who you come from.  \nEspecially a girl, seeing the relationships their friends have with their fathers, it is like you are missing something, that somehow you were "cheated".\nI spent most of my life feeling "less" with myself, for I was eventually told that I was not wanted by my biological father and that hurts deeply.  As the years went by, I came to accept that, until one day, I took the advice of others and tried to locate him.  It wasn't hard, and when we made contact, wow.... the emotional rollercoaster was overwhelming.  We met, me at 26 and he at 60ish.  We looked alike, talked alike, and actually seemed to be alike.  Unfortunatly, with all the similarities, he told me, in no uncertain terms that I was not his child and to leave him alone.  \nYou can not imagine how that felt, and I pray that you will never know that feeling, that no one does.\nThe reasons behind his claim are not appropriate here, but I will tell you, that in many ways I wish I had never listened to others and located him.  For equally many other reasons I am glad I did.  It is very confusing.  \nThe one element that I never imagined was the devestation that this caused my mom, the women, like your mom that took care of me, raised me, loved me, and wanted me.  \nI inadvertantly opened old wounds of hers that to this day I regret, although with mixed feelings.  \nAs the years passed, I came to accept some things, the inevitable, I was not going to have the father that my friends had, or that I see on tv, or that I wished for.  \nThink about this long and hard.  Sometimes it is important to be careful what you wish for, you just may get it.  \nGood Luck
857492
I know this is a hard situation...my biological Dad left when I was 2 yrs old. I'm now 32 and have never seen or heard from him. Maybe your Dad is just more comfortable talking about the 3 stepdaughters because he knows them better and it's something to talk about to keep the conversation going. You've come this far, I'd probably go ahead and meet him while I had the chance. Then at least you've satisfied your curiosity and met him and then you can maybe put it to rest. You never know, it may turn out better than expected. I say go for it...you never have to see him again if you don't want to.Also, next time you talk to him tell him that you have some great kids and tell some stories about each of them.
750605
i have been in your situation and ill be honest and state that it enver worked out between us because of our familys different point of view, there was also a racial difference and my father found that very difficult to handle. but if ur mum and dad are in an age gap marriage then they should understand, id sit your mum down and just explain to her, possible have your boyfriend wth you at the time. that way then she may see that he is there to stand by you and does not want to hurt you\n\ngood luck.
948962
I think you should talk to your mom first. See how she feels about it. She may want you to visit your dad. but then again, she may be hurt by the fact that you would wanna see him. depends on the relationship she had with him. Talk to her and tell her that you want to see him. Maybe she'll help you with busfares. or maybe she'll go with you and you all can get up the nerves together to go visit. You shouldn't travel by yourself. Good Luck and congrads on you dad.
854669
Yeah, I understand, hon.  It's tough to lose a dad. I lost my dad when I was 24, and it wasn't easy for me either.  Was your dad ill, or was his death sudden?  We don't know why God chooses his special people to be with Him, but know that wherever he is, your dad is watching over you, protecting you from harm, and loving you.  Meantime, talk things over with your mom, and your brothers and sisters if you have any, or even your friends.  Talking about the good times you had with your dad really helps.  In time, the pain will be a lot less, and you'll just be left with good memories.  My thoughts and prayers are with you.  Good luck and God Bless!
740711
You are an adult so why are you allowing your mother to dictate to you whether or not you have a relationship with your father?  I have been in that situation too and although my kids dad was NEVER involved I didn't stop her from seeing him when he finally decided to remember that he had a child.  A mothers true love is unconditional and if your mother has that for you then she would not hurt you this way. Your fathers other children are your brothers and sisters and you shouldn't be forced to stay away from them because of your mothers bitterness. You should see your father and give your mother her time to accept the fact and if she can't then there's no unconditional love for you.  You have to live your own life now and it's her choice whether or not she's in it.
512550
you've gain something that allot of children out there would die just to have back today. take matters slow and get to know Him before you jump into a situation that you know nothing about. when Mom and Dads leave each other It hurts them more than just the child alone, and as the years goes by it becomes even more harder to gain back the time you've already lost, would it be right for him to forget about your birthday and all the other important days in your life to come? what comes around for one maybe in return of how you end what you just got started between you and your Father, find out where he's been if he don't tell you then give him time and you'll know the truth in a few more years, your his Daughter and that's your Blood line and apart of your family history that's important to you too. you need that part in your life like a puzzle of mysteries unsolved from your family history. this is important to you now, you may not see it because of all the confussion going on in your life, the Fathers Day Card maybe the key to opening the hearts between the two of you and the answers will be there for you in the end. thank God he's back, what allot of children would do today to be in your shoes right now because the answer is there in front of you. you can keep the 10 points because this part of your life is too important to me to think you would give this opportunity of yours up. you see I lost my real Father in War when I was 5 years old, yours came back mine never will so I can't send my father a fathers day card like you can. you should be Happy and not sad, and I'm Only happy that he came back in your life too.
205040
You are suffering from rejection in my opinion. What did this doctor say was going on? It sounds like you wanted your parents attention and didn't receive it based on what you have written.\n\n Perhaps you had other siblings that demanded their attention, or they just ignored you. I had the same problem. It wasn't until I was 29 years old and got counseling that I understood what I was doing. I went through an exercise in forgiveness and was able to move on in that area of my life. It has never been a problem since.
423222
Unfortunately when parents don't get along it is the kid who suffers.  They often refuse to tell you the whole story, and when you combine that with the fact that you only remember certain parts of your childhood there is simply no true answer.  The best thing you can do is talk to your dad and tell him that regardless of the past this is the present and you will always try to talk to and respect him, but he also needs to respect you and not put down your mom around you.
548344
My friend is in the same situation as you are except she has college as an excuse.  In her case she is positive that the guy is what he says he is and she chose her college based on where he lives.  Keep in mind they've talked for at least 3 years online and by phone.  I'm still uneasy about letting her go there alone to see him for the first time up close and in the flesh.  You might want to consider holding off ur visit until u truly know who he is.  If u are insistent about going, then maybe you could ask a close friend to go with u as a precaution.  As for your mom, I would describe him as sort of a pen pal.
725794
It is not that he doesn't want to be with you and your sis.... Sometimes adults act very stupidly and selfishly.  I am so sorry that you have to experience this.  I went through this myself when I was younger.  Try talking to your dad and tell him that you want more alone time with just him and your sis.  He probably won't do it because the step mom might get offended and mad at him.  But you can always try.  Please remember that it has nothing to do with you..  He loves you but just acts dumb sometimes because he is afraid of her.  Good luck sweetie!
735796
Nothing to do. Be thankful you had home, family and foot on the table. Father who never exist for you just never was.\nWhat is and was in your heart is the only truth to accept.\nKeep the wonderful memory of your childhood and be happy to have family. Never judge your parents, they did and sacrifice and dedicate own life for the best for you.\nI wish you never know about your "real" father but she owns you to know the truth. Don't feel bad just be understandable. Get over.
116255
Talk to your mother it first, she knows who he is.  Tell her how you feel.  She might have listed him as the birth father on your birth certificate.  If you don't get any help from her talk to other family members until you at least get a name.  It's a start but it will be a long road to find the right person.  You can ask people where you live, or where your mom used to live if they know him or his family.  Go on line to the white pages and type in his name and contact the people that come up as a match.  start by asking if they knew your mother and take it from there.\n\nBest of luck to you.
228636
You should meet him, however what about him? Has he been prevented from seeing you all these years? Or does he prefer not to see either your mom or you? Tough question.
157499
THE THING`S MY SON DOE`S NOT KNOW ABOUT  HIS MOTHER BY MY DAD
615785
No! To clear your concience, you should write her a letter telling her why you are not coming to see her and how you feel about everything. I think you should try to love her because she apparently doesn't love or truly value herself.She as well as you need to know that your past does not determine your future unless you allow it too. MY advice to you is to love your mom and be something you are proud of and maybe an inspiration to her. Bad person NO You ARE NOT. If you were you wouldn't feel guilt over this. It  sounds like you are a hurt person, don't get bitter . Just get better. Do something good with yourself.
297832
Write to her and tell her how she's made you feel, and how her actions have affected you. I'm sorry you are having a hard time. Do you get the chance to talk to your dad about these things? An aunt, uncle, grandparent, Godparent, teacher, councilor? Find someone off that list that you feel at ease with, and just let it all out. They know you better than anyone else you could hear from on this thing. Those are the people you should be talking to sweetie.