my ex won't give up bothering me?
549579
Been there, done that - not an iota of fun. The guy is basically stalking you. My suggestion is the following:\n\n1) File a report with the local police. Even though they may not do anything about it yet, at least it will be in their papers should your ex's abuse continue and/or escalate. \n\n2) Gather ALL evidence. Set up a new e-mail account, get a new phone-number - every measure necessary to restrain his options of being able to contact you. Nonetheless, keep the old phone-number - but let it go directly to the answering-machine. Save the messages - as they will prove your claim if you are forced to drag him to court and (or get a restraining order. Also save all e-mails he sends you for the same reason as above. If he sends you gifts, you shall keep them - whatever he gives you, keep it. This is all about gathering evidence.\n\n3) Tell people around you not to tlak with him due to his stalking. He will pursue alternative means of getting go you, and using your friends and family as a source of information is fully justified in his mind.\n\n4) NEVER EVER talk with/to him - regardless how tempting it may be. For a stalker, even a "F**k off" will be interpreted as a positive gesture. He will interpret "Leave me alone" as a "Oh, I want you to chase me" and so on. If you give in to the temptation once, he will know that it only takes more perservance on his side to get you to answer again and again and again.\nAlso, never tell him what you intend to do unless he leaves you alone. In the event that going to the police does not produce immediate results, your stalking ex will view your plans and intentions as nothing but empty threats.\n\n5) Tell your current boyfriend how much the ex is bothering you. Your ex is currently attempting to drive a wedge between you and your new BF as the ex cannot see you with another man. Any man for that matter except himself. He desires comlete control of your life in every and any aspect, and you do NOT want to subject yourself to that.\nAs for your current BF, if he is not willing to support and help you through this, then he is not worth keeping. Sorry for being so harsh sounding, but it is sadly true. If he loves and cares about you, then he will stay on your side - regardless.\n\n6) Find out if there are any support-groups for stalking-victims in your area - and you will find that you are not alone. The internet also provides different fora that are worth-while looking into - especially what the legal side is concerned.\n\nI broke up with the ex from hell 1 1/2 years ago, and he is still stalking me, thankfully not to the same extent as previously, but I receive e-mails (I changed phone-numbers and got a new e-mail address) from him once or twice a month, and it is still bloody annoying and scaring.\n\nGood luck, this will take time and toil - but know that you are not alone in this hellish situation. I feel for you.
376422
the fact you are trying to hide it is what shows so obviously...no one can hide true feelings... get a rebound, thats the only way to get over someone. your ex sounds like a jerk!
956246
Remember, people are ALWAYS communicating with you, even if it is non-verbal.  Right now he's saying that the pain of confrontation and admitting his bad behavior is more painful than trying to repair your relationship.  You have offered to try to repair it through your attempts to contact him.  Now it's time to let it go.  Big talker, right?  I didn't say it was going to be easy, or pain-free, it just has to be done for your own sake.  And believe me, you don't want to feel like you don't give a damn, that would be denying your feelings, your trust in your relationship, and your broken heart.  I'm going to tell you to do something that is going to sound dorky, but I really want you to try it (what do you have to lose?)  Write him a letter.  Say everything you want to say about how you feel, how hurt you are, how angry you are, call him names.  End the letter by saying goodbye and saying how much you will miss the relationship you had.  You will never send this letter.  After you've written it, read it once, then rip it up and throw it away.  I promise you this will help.  You will still hurt, but please do this and you will feel better.  You need closure, and since he's not giving it to you, give it to yourself.  Let me know how it goes.
281811
Maybe he is still friends with your ex.  Now that the big head is thinking again he may have some remorse.  He may have really just been trying to get his leg over as well.  If he doesn't call you, move on.  There are to many guys out there that would give you a bell after.  Go give one of them a try.  All the best.
640963
you do not give up on the one you love you give up the relationship you have outgrown with the one you love and hopefully wish the best for this person ,just not intimately in your life,when there is disrespect and contempt that remains unresolved,it is over, if you cannot effectively address this issue
649832
How long ago did you stop seeing him?  I suspect the break-up wasn't that long ago because you've indicated that you're not fed up with the abuse yet.  If this behavior continues, you will become fed up.  He is stalking and abusing you. \n\nNot knowing your ex makes it difficult to say, but you should know that certainly personality types are known to carry this behavior to extremes ... criminal extremes.  For example:  slashed tires, rocks through windows, physical confrontations, etc... \n\nI have been the target of a stalker, and the longer it goes on, the worse it gets.  I would nip this in the bud IMMEDIATELY!.  \n\nFirst, send him a certified letter explaining that you do not want to see or hear from him again.  And, that if the abuse continues you will inform the authorities.  Do NOT meet with him.  This will only fuel any misguided belief that you are returning to him.  Keep a copy of the letter.  \n\nSecond, begin keeping a log of dates/times that he calls, or shows up at your home.  Note any threats or abusive language in the messages.\n\nThird, let family and friends know of the abuse. \n\nIf the abuse continues ...\n\nGo to the police and the court to have a restraining order issued.  And, take a self-defense class.  \n\nIf the abuse still continues, let the authorities know that he has violated the restraining order and purchase a hand gun. Take a firearms safety class so that you get comfortable using the firearm.  \n\nHopefully, he'll get 'it' after the certified letter, but if he is of the mind set to intimidate and terrorize you until you return to him, then the above steps may save your life.  \n\nStalking, in and of itself, is psychologically very disturbed behavior.  It indicates that his wants/needs are all that he is willing or capable of considering.  It also indicates that he is unwilling to limit his activities to the accepted norms of society.  In other words, stalking is not something to be taken lightly.  Be careful!
441424
Wow, that person with the whole exes are like poison has some serious issues.  Trust me, I've never had an experiance like that in my life, so I think he's just a little bit out there.  Re-infected every time you talk to an ex?  WTF?  Can we say "can't move on"?\n\nI've been able to remain friends with many of my exes, but I think part of that is because most of my break ups were mutual.  I think that if you got dumped by her, it might be harder.\n\nI would suggest writing her a letter or email with whatever you want to say.  Tell her that you were really hurt when you broke up, and you just wanted to say that you've made your way through it and would like to see if a friendship between you would be possible.  Then the ball is in her court, if she doesn't respond, then don't push the issue further.  If she gives you a call or send you an email back, have coffee together and talk about what has been going on in your life since the break up.\n\nJust don't have coffee and re-hash the break up, I doubt your ex wants to do that and while it might make you think it will feel better, in reality it will probably just make both of you uncomfortable.  If you start feeling like a friendship is making you feel worse, then its not the right thing to be doing right now.\n\nWork on building a new friendship with an eye on the future, not on the past.
299537
Don't mean to be cruel to your ex but the boat has sailed, you've obviously moved on so don't give her an excuse to hold you back. Whether she's playing games to save face, because you were the first to move on, or whether she realises what she's missed I'd do the same for both: Tell her kind but firm that you've moved on and she should too. If you let her outburst achieve anything she could use it more often or feel she has a hold on you, so make sure she knows it isn't going to work. There'll be tears but you're letting her get over you
733745
Move on...find someone who truely appreciates you like you deserve to be.You should not try to get him back because obviously he has not been able to see the great, lovable , caring girl inside...so let him go and find someone who can find her and take care of her.There is nothing greater in life than being truly appreciated.you deserve better.I am sure there is someone just round the corner or right under your nose that you did not notice when you are so hung up on the ex.Let go and let the real thing find you.Bless you,sweety
973811
You said it yourself, he is your EX.  Get over it and get on with your life.  And I'll bet he really doesn't want to hear that.
651527
Speaking from my own experience [divorced last year] this truly is a difficult one. The problem with lies within his hurt. He finds it difficult to accept that you no longer want to be with him, therefore, if he can make an impact [albeit a negative one] on your life he feels he is still important to you. Basically just like a child seeking attention through negative behavior. Therefore the answer is to try and make him still feel valued by YOU [he knows his child will love him regardless of his actions]. Try asking him for advice [what is he good at] this action flatters the ego. As your in a new relationship, your ex's ego will be deflated, therefore making him feel valued is a good first step to accommodating a potential friendship. After all, even my own nightmare [ex] is the father of my children and regardless of my feelings he is important to them. \n\nGood Luck
901745
sounds very similar to my problems of the past.  If he is that controlling then my guess is he can manipulate you some too.  so confronting him head on might not be the best way to go.  What you need is space.  time to think about what you want and where you want your life to go.  I know its hard but i think you might just have to sneak away like i did.  distance has a way of putting your own thoughts into perspective.  if you can go to your family or any close friend and DO NOT SEE OR TALK TO HIM.   I know this sounds like oh its easy for her to say that, but trust me, I had to do the same thing and with 2 kids along for the ride.  my family was 500 miles away but i left my ex and came home.  alot has happened between then and now, but i am so glad i left when i did.  i am now 34 yrs old and he almost took the best years of my life.  dont ever let anyone do that to you.  you are a remarkable creature, unique and no one should be made to feel abused even emotionally.  I put up with it for 12 years.  everyone of us has inner strength and you will find yours and find the right path for your life.  good luck.
17364
The fact he his your ex tells you that it would be in your best intrest not to concern yourself with wheather or not he has moved on and move on yourself. Once you start careing about yourself you'll find someone who will also care about you! Let your ex move on I'm sure it would be for the best.
49360
you cant...however if this person pushes you away constantly, tell them how you feel, if that doesnt help, leave them be, sooner or later, they will come to terms
719382
Knowing that you just hung up on him, wait until tomorrow or the next day, just to calm your nerves.  Find out if y'all can meet somewhere and discuss the problem.  But if chooses to remain stubborn, do others things to take your mind off of him.  It may take some time, but it can be accomplished.  I was in a situation similar to yours.  Don't waste your time thinking about someone who doesn't respect your wishes.
744137
i dont know he'll be annoyed. just dont call again until tomorrow night. and if he calls you dont answer for as long as possible before you think he'll give up. trust me :)
1152232
Give her a week if you still can't get in touch with her best hang that one up and start over...If you call her or send her too many messages that's a turn off for her...She will think you a little too controlling give her some time and space..