How do I get over a man that I have been in love  with for 18 years. that I have child with.?
535197
Okay here is the bottom line....you need to move on because he is obviously not interested in being involved in a committed relationship with you.  To him it's probably just sex every once in awhile because he knows you will be okay with that.  To him it is nothing more, do yourself a favor and leave hima lone.  As hard as that may sound you will eventually have to move on with your life without him.  Believe me you will find someone else once you are able to emotionally detach yourself from him.
256228
It will not be easy, but the best advice I can give you is to pray and ask GOD to take away the feelings that you have for this man, and to renew the love,desire and passion you once had for your husband.
884292
COME ON ! ! YOU CAN ALL WAYS GET ANOTHER MAN ONE EVEN BETTER THEN WHAT YOU'VE GOT NOW , BUT YOUR KIDS ARE ONE OF A KIND. THEY ARE THE ROOT OF YOUR LIFE ,THEY MAKE YOU WHOLE ( YES  OR  NO  ? ) THERE ARE TO , TOO  MANY MEN IN THIS WORLD JUST SO YOU'LL SETTLE FOR THE ONE BREAKING YOUR HEART EVERY TIME YOU SEE HIM , THINK HARD SWEETHEART .
465635
My heart truly goes out to you and I know if I found myself in this situation it would totally crush me also.  You are perfectly normal reacting the way you are.  It would be extrmely hard to let this child into your life because its like a kick in the teeth each and everytime you see the child.  Its a constant reminder of what has happenned.  Try thinking of it this way:  You were seperated when this happenned so atleast technically it was not an affair.  Your husband thought his marriage was over and didnt think u loved him anymore so he turned to find comfort else where.  BUT he loves YOU and now u r back together and trying to work it all out.  I know it will be very very difficult for u cuz I know it would be for me but you are right- this child does need a father in his life.  You r right- he did not ask for this to happen to him- and he didnt pick his parents.  Take the time you need to sort thru your feelings and talk and confide ALL your feelings with your husband.  Let him know u need time to adapt to this major shock in your life.  You need to search your heart and soul.  If you truly love your husband and cannot imagine life without him- then some way some how you will eventually have to adjust to this child.  YOU DO NOT EVER HAVE TO ACCEPT this other woman.  In fact I suggest u never even meet the woman or see her!  Thats just TOO much to ask of your already broken heart!  But remember- this is an innocent child- after you have searched your heart- try to come to terms with this.  If you cannot you will have to end the marriage.  Remember:  U were seperated when this happenned!  Good luck to you sweetheart and my heart is with you.  Feel free to e mail me ANYTIME at cstinkerbell6969@yahoo.com  YOU DO HAVE A FRIEND and confidant out in this world!  I wish you the greatest success in all you do!
347838
Yeah... I know how this feels. If you think you truley love him then you should be care full and tell him in a time that you feel is right. And don't judge him by his past. I mean his kids could be great and just because he can't get over his ex dosen't mean that he still dosen't love you back. Good luck ^_^
436939
There are still memories of that person u still have ...\n\nAll i can say is ur being self-centered ... ur first mistake was getting married to ur current hubby ... n then ur second mistake was having a kid ..... ur third mistake is thinkin u can get ur ex back ..... \n\nur gonna keep on makin mistakes unless u stop thinkng bout him ... Frankly wud u rather risk ur entire life or b with ur hubby who loves u n ur child n have a family ??\n\nif u want out then do it asap be4 u hurt more n more people
306746
First figure out what feelings these are you have and how strong.Second imagine yourself without the person who at one time (and probably still do)you loved with all your heart,(loved enough to make her your wife). If imagining her gone and with another man doesn't bother you, then I'd say "its over",but if it does BOTHER you-Then stay away from whatevers tempting you,and focus on yourself and your wife.
1087623
I know I'm still in love with my ex - he ended our 2 year relationship very suddenly with an e-mail & I am finished with\ndating, men, relationships, love. He was the last man I ever plan to be involved with - I've had enough.  Good luck with your situation!
649133
Tough situation.\n\nI, as one who's been there and done that, can only say you have to do what's best for you. My ex has been married for 19 years to the woman he fell in love with while we were married. I had to leave him in order to move on with my life and have never regretted it. We were not always friends but, in time, managed to find common ground for the sake of our children. \n\nYour child may or may not understand, in the beginning, but time heals all wounds. The main thing, where your son is concerned, is to make sure he understands it has nothing to do with him. Children have a tendency to absorb the guilt when their parents break up and you have to be prepared to deal with obstacles where he is concerned. Never leave him or his feeling out.\n\nThe marriage is obviously through and your wife seems to think she can keep you through your guilt. She knows you well enough to know this will hit a nerve and has no problem trumping you with it. That, in my opinion, is deceitful and manipulative. This being an indication of what the rest of your lives together must be like.\n\nI guess what I'm saying is, everyone will go task for this and the pain will be there no matter what, so why prolong it and take the chance of asking yourself, in years to come, "What if..."\n\nYou are obviously a kind and sensitive person who still cares about your wife as a person and as the mother of your child, but often this is not enough. A loveless marriage is a prison you can only wonder about being freed from. True love is something rare and beautiful. Cut your losses, let your wife go on with her life, without you, where she may have an opportunity to find true love which is obviously missing in your relationship with her.\n\nEach of you is responsible for your own happiness. You should grab yours while the opportunity is there. Your wife may choose to be bitter and angry or to be understanding and to put the child's happiness and welfare first. She is obviously not going to take it well, so be prepared for whatever may come.\n\nYou may think you'll feel nothing, but the break-up of a marriage is always emotional no matter the circumstances. Be sure you are prepared to deal with this aspect as well. Be sure not to leave your true love out of the emotional conflicts you may be going through during this time. You need to be able to share your true feelings with her and she needs to understand where you're coming from.\n\nGood luck and love. :)
874947
Hey dude, your still a baby! Go find your soul mate-good luck.  Me?   Old enough to know how you feel!
583657
Often when a relationship is over the rose colored glasses come on and we only remember the best times. If this relationship is truly over with no chance for reconciliation do this; Think of all the things that annoyed you about the person, or the pet peeves you couldn't stand. Trust me, no one is perfect so dig down deep and write all those uglies down and keep them close by. When the ex creeps into your mind read those things about them and remember. You may always have a special place in your heart for them, but it doesn't mean you can not or should not MOVE on! Trust me, my son's father I thought I would not be able to BREATHE without him but I wrote down all the ugly things and never forgot them. We are now platonic friends, he is married and so am I and we will always be connected because of our son but I like the way it has all played out and honestly, If i could get back with him I Wouldn't. Good Luck. "Time Heals all wounds."
562208
You need to get and keep him out of your life. He can still be in your babies life but you need to cut all ties off from him.Obviously he has no respect for you and is playing you for the fool. \nI know its not easy but you need to take a stand and find yourself someone who will treat you right.\n\nGood luck you deserve better then that!
944662
You deserve someone better,of course you miss him,that's normal.Humans have feelings,you will get over it soon.Keep yourself busy so wont think of it,whenever you are free do something like spend more time with your children.Almost forget ask him for maintenance fee.
1124935
If you finally over him and you were dating someone else..You must not have any burden in yourself..\nthey said, when you moved on... you forgive someone on the past. Forgive is to forget.  The more you kept the burden inside the more you will feel difficult to open your hearts to someone...Always remember " What Peter's does, Juan will not" \nNot all people are the same. There is always a reason for everything that happens to your life...You just need to look for the positive side,  be grateful that he is not the person you will have spend for the rest of your life.\n\nI've been to your situation before, but when Ive met my husband thats the time I realized, thats how God made everything.  He will do something even if it hurts you so bad.  But in turn he will give you the best when you least unexpected...\n\nDont expect when you loved someone that he will return the love you gave to him.. It just a matter of trust, confidence, and enjoying each other companionship.  Building relationship is a matter of compromise.  It takes a hardwork to make it better...\n\nJust forget the past...\n\nI hope this helps..
1185473
Well, do you love him? You have had a child together so you have to think of the kid too.. But do not stay for only that reason.\n\nI do not think the age is the problem, I think maybe you feel like you might have gotten with him for a father figure, I am going to guess and say that I bet someone told you that..\n\nIf you love him hun, marry and have a wonderful life.. If you are not sure, then do not marry him...And if you do not love him, then you really should move on and find someone you love and who loves and adores you.. We all deserve that!
487100
Sorry about the loss of your child.  But I think you two have ran your course and you need to move on.  This guy was not there for you and more importantly your child.  Don't take him back again.  You'll only be setting yourself up for more hurt.
1090556
You will not be able to get over it, but with time, the pain will feel less and less.\n\nEven though he was just a little wee baby, he was defenseless and you didn't get to know him nor could you protect him from what happened.  \n\nYou may be trying to keep him in your mind in case you fear you will forget him - you won't forget him so it's okay not to think of him all of the time.\n\nSpeak to your parents about how you feel, I'm sure they will want to speak with you about it.