What are the best excuses not to go into work?
549292
My parakeet has a hangnail, and I really can't leave the poor bird alone today.
470193
-I can't come to work today because the city is paving my street and I can't get out!\n-Constipation. Say no more. \n-The dog ate my car keys. We're going to hitchhike to the vet. \n-I am not coming in because I tried to dye my hair blonde, but it came out green!\n- am sorry but I will be unable to come in to work today. My agoraphobia (fear of leaving the house) is beginning to kick in.\nHope one of these can help! hahaha!!
200492
How about not chatting and doing some work?\n\nUseless employees...
645374
Just take the day off and stay at home, no point in going to work if you are not feeling well becuase you will never get an proper work done!
20261
Signs that you need a job:\n1. no money. \n2. no food in the house. \n3. can't afford to go out with friends. \n4. No gas in your car\n5. Collection Agencies calling you because of your overdue bills
110850
If you know that you won't be able to get away with much, one foolproof way is to actually come in the next day with evidence. Say you broke something, then put on a cast and walk into work the next time you go. Make sure you don't overdo it; if you walk in on crutches, somebody's gonna catch you walking.\n\nThis solution might not work if you're planning to cut the second half of the day, but this next one does:\n\nThis one works along the same lines, but not to injuries. The direction of this solution is all about family obligations. Your excuse is that you need to see your child/parent/sibling; they need you because they went to court/had a near-death experience/thought you died/etc and they might commit suicide/run away/go crazy. As a nice touch, make it look like (whether you do it or not that) you stayed up all night dealing with the problem. Red eyes, down-looking face, etc. \n\nJust remember the cardinal rules: \n\n1. Don't overdo it\n2. Have as few people in the office "in" on it as possible. As trustworthy as they are, people can always slip up. If there's any other possible way that will involve one less person, do it.\n3. Make sure that you're not seen out of the office. Stay away from public events. There are too many stories of people who go to ball games and end up on the sports page the next day in the crowd.
101226
not gonna do your home-work for ya
464075
There are several valid excuses to get out of jury duty, examples to follow:\n\n1) say you have young children at home and cannot get a sitter;\n2) a medical condition that would prevent you from being able to sit in a jury (this would be legitament for me as I have used it b4, because I have chronic back pain.\n3) You have no way of getting to the courthouse.\n\nHope this helps out!!  GOOD LUCK!
123961
not gonna do your home-work for you
261536
I am not sure of your work place policies, but it seems unusual that they would require a Dr. excuse for 1 day absence. Here are some excuses I have used in the past when I " just didn't feel like it"...\n\n1. Food poisoning symptoms...upset stomach, vomiting...blame it on something you ate. ( Some work places, especially food service, REQUIRE you to stay away when vomiting and loose bowels)\n2. Transportation problems...car won't start..flat tire..ect..\n3. Appointment other then a Dr...like a lawyer or such.\n4. Relative needs ride to airport.\n5. Funeral
1150358
Oh, I know the Sunday Blues... And I have recently found the remedy: I try to organize meet-ups and dinner invitations for Monday and Tuesday nights now. That way I look forward to the new week, sometimes I can't wait for Sunday to pass because I want to meet my friends asap. \n\nOk, yes, I am only fooling myself, but then again, if that doesn't work for you, you might want to take a look at the reasons why you don't like your work and change employment?
158454
When you are warned not to come to work tomorrow
355536
You can apply for financial aid at a local college and begin taking classes that will fit your schedule. This will help get you into the motions of working, and it will give you ideas of what you might be interested in doing. Then if you decide to not go to work, you didn't waste your time.
198091
if you want to get fired you still have to show up to work. By not showing up that is job abandonment. I would just don't try that hard and i guess just be a slacker.
822849
take a day off.  Go somewhere by yourself and have fun. \n\nif your at work or cannot readily get away right now.. take a break and just close your eyes and breathe deeply of a couple of minutes.  a clear mind will get you through the rest of the day.\n\nAlso stretch.  If your all stressed out.. your muscles are all tight too.. loosen up and relax.  Also...  if all else fails... cover your face with a pillow and scream your head off!
37761
Work excuse notes are usually written by a medical facility or doctor.  I feel badly for you if you are looking for these for yourself or anyone you know, for that matter.  Unscrupulous and lame would be my description for some one who would use fake excuses to get out of making an honest living. :(
229047
First off change your shift!!lol secondly get home take a shower sit down in ur robe lay down the rules of the house and go to sleep!!All in all be sleeping within a hour of getting home!!Anything else will lead to poor job performance and bad home life if anything stands in your way cut it loose!!!