how do I let my emotional abusive husband go?
546282
We set our own limitations enough, so why let an abusive ass hole bring you down more.  Move on sweetie, you can be strong.  Your self-esteem is low, and that's the only reason you feel that you love him; you might love him, yes, but question is, are you in love with him?  I doubt that very much considering what he has put you through. \n\nThe sky is the limit, for everyone.  Remember that.  Let go of the past.  Dwelling on it only sets limitations for the future.  You have three beautiful daughters, three reflections of you; how wonderful is that?  Find yourself, for their sake, and ultimately for your own.  You can do it.  Pray to God to give you strength, he won't let you walk through this alley alone. God Bless.
696018
I think your concerns are legitimate, and I think it's a good idea to consider carefully whether you want to let this abusive man back into your lives.  (I assume he abused you and the kids based on what you said.)  I think that people can change, but you should look for evidence that he is really serious about changing.  Enrolling himself in anger management classes or psychological counseling might be a good start.  Also, I think you have a right to be concerned about the timing of this "change of heart" and it sounds like you feel like he's using you, which sounds to me like a form of abuse.  I'd say, if you need help, get help from a battered women's shelter, an ecclesiastical leader, a counselor, or somebody else who can help you make a wise decision.  Remember to keep your kids in mind when you are making this decision -- think about what will be best for them.  God bless you.
391287
I can tell you I have been there and done it and it only gets worse because she has a hold on him you can not break. But let me tell you this is also what she wants is for you to leave so she can have him all to herself. As far as your husband sooner or later the resentment builds up and the love is lost because of the way he does. Tell him in no certain terms you realize this is his mother but your also his wife and he is killing all the respect you have for him...Lady
637139
LIVE YOUR LIFE FOR YOUR OWN CHILDREN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Get out of that marriage.  How can you let any man verbally abuse your child?
800569
There's some good articles on how to leave an abuser in lovefraud.com\n\nMy husband is a stalker too but I've gotten numb to his ridiculous accusations and constant threats. He took every dime of my retirement account and left me destitute in hopes I'd be too dependant on him to leave. I left 2 months ago to stay with family. \n\nKnow this- you are a target, not a victim. Abusers use your compassion, humanity, and commitment to the relationship AGAINST you! They are not human. They have no empathy. They are empty and hollow INSECURE people. They need to control you, own you, in the worst way.\n\nNever look back.
862135
Sweetheart...not sure why you titled this bi-polar husband...but your husband IS physically, verbally and emotionally abusing you and you need to get out NOW.  If he is bi-polar he can see a doctor and get on medication and then if you still want, the two of you can work on your marriage.  But for now...you need to leave...you are not helping either of you.  GBU
839854
I'm not sure what kind of input you're looking for but I think you got some pretty decent input.  I'd tell you the same thing.  I was married to someone like that and he got very abusive with me.  You should definitely dump him.  I wouldn't give someone like that the time of day and if you actually cared about yourself at all you wouldn't either.  You're trying to look for answers within yourself that aren't there.  You can't blame yourself for the way he is.  Hes got serious problems and you'll have the same if you don't get away from him!  Good luck!
1044696
Dear asker,\n\nYou have to stop dragging your bagagge into your new relationship, he is NOT your ex-husband nor he has to be punished for what someone else did to you. It's not fair.\n\nYou have to put your guard down. He probally doens't know the details of your marriage and doesn't know what is most sensitive to you. You have to communicate and don't hold on to a grudge because youa re goingto explode, make a dramatic scene and drive him away.\n\nWhile is natural for you to feel tempted to walk away from a relationship because you are not going to take any more crap from anyone, I think that you are overreacting because probally your boyfriend is not doing nothing to you that merits such display of rage and emotions. Tell him about what makes you angry and sad and what subjects are better left untouched so it won't trigger your defensive mode, \n\nIf you want to try to be in a relationship, you have to learn to trust again (easier said than done) and let go of your bad experiences so you can freely enjoy love the way is supposed to be.\n\nBest of luck to you
724262
He is just trying to make you take the blame for his behavior.  That is how abusive men work and make you think it is all your fault.  He obviously does not care about you that much if he just up and leaves and puts all the blame on you.  You are better off leaving him and getting your kids away from a man like that.  They will either be abusers or take abuse from someone else.  He walks all over you and guess what, your kids will to as long as you keep them in that environment.  Your husband is a horrible role model and so are you for putting up with him.  You can't save your marriage because he does not respect you enough to stick around and work things out.  GET OUT NOW!!  I pray that you will take people's advice and put you and your children first.  I get mad at my husband all time but he does not treat me they way your man does.  Think about all the healthy relationships you know of and compare yours to them.
640624
You need to leave, NOW!  He is going to blow at one point and if he doesn't kill you, or someone else, he is going to hurt you bad!  If he has ever hit you, he will again...and harder!  He is already verbally abusing you, mental abuse, and is probably making you feel worse and worse about yourself.  You need to get out before he totally ruins you.  You CANNOT change him.  He has to make that choice himself and seek the help.  You have done all you can do and he has refused counseling.  Tell him that if you are ever to come back, he will need to go to anger management and/or counseling.  You can only blame your childhood for so long until you have to take responsibility...it is time he takes responsibility for his own actions.  Good luck, and please get out before it is too late.  Three women in America are killed each day by their partners, don't be one of them!
321334
So, he doesn't agree...big surprise, right?  No way to get your message across, then you'll have to send the message by actions, not words.  While you've been talking and he's not listening, that's all it is...lip service.  What have you done to show him that this marriage was a mistake?  Nothing.  If you are going to end it, then end it.  Move out and leave a note.  Explain that you made a mistake by rushing into this marriage and upon this realization, you need to go.  File the papers and in 3 months or so, you'll be free to live as an independant woman again.  Until then, just lay low and don't listen to his crying and persuations.  Just cut the cord and make it short and sweet.  It'll be easier and less painless in over the long run.
657721
I went through the same thing with my husband.. you might try anger managment counseling or taking a trial seperation. Just remember that when you feel yourself getting to the point of explosion that you have 2 feet WALK AWAY.
768606
Time is the only way to heal emotional wounds.  Unfortunately by living so close you get your wounds torn open on a daily basis.  Get away from him as soon as possible.  You probably will aways have a connection to him through your children (unless he's a complete dead beat) but as you build your own life with out him in it the pain and anger will fade. Peace be with you.
889108
the sooner you convince yourself that you refuse to feel agitated over something that has no future anyway, the sooner your broken heart would heal. i suggest whenever you miss him, remind yourself that he left without even saying goodbye to marry some bitch and that you should be mad for that. also, try to focus on the good side of your husband, appreciate what you have instead of wishing  for something that's not yours and would never be yours.
584854
Try learning how to spell, then file for divorce.  Document his abuse with photographs, or by telling someone, so that you will have evidence for when you go to court.
383881
You can't.  Period.  Sorry, but if you went into the relationship thinking you could, don't ever do that again.  Let him know that you won't tolerate being controlled, and if he can't live with that, than walk away as soon as you can.  He could turn violent.
126825
Clearly think this through before you give up on your marriage. If it can be fixed and he hasn't been abusive toward you than maybe you can work on what is wrong.\n\nK