a women my mother knows recently committed suicide. how do I deal?
449703
write to her.  you can't lash out at a peice of paper.  tell her that you love her very much and that her behavior makes you worry.  tell her that what her friend did made you very sad as well but now your soul concern is her.  although you don;t think she would ever do the same thing, the way she is acting has you fearing for her personal safety and you love her too much to just look away.  if that doesn't work, and she really is staying in drunken hysterics, talk to your fellow family memebers- hve an intervention or have her committed.
161173
Call the utility companies, be prepared to give them a copy of the death certificate or obituary.\n\nSo sorry to hear about your mother.
755957
Wow, I'm so sorry about your brother.\n\nI don't think that she thinks that at all.  She loves you for who and what you are: YOU.  Displacing your feelings of grief and pain onto her by putting feelings that she most assuredly isn't feeling onto her isn't really fair.  \n\nMy opinion: See a bereavement counselor.  After my mom was killed in 97, I went to one for about 6 months, and I'll tell you it helped so much.  If you call your local hospital, they should be able to refer you to one who won't cost you to go to them.\n\nFor what it's worth, I think that your mom loves you and just wants you to make the most of your life because she's learned the hard way that life is short, and that you have to live it to the fullest.  She just wants to see you do that.  And of course she misses your brother...she wouldn't be normal if she didn't.  But, she can have it both ways...she can love you for you and still miss him.  Sit down and talk to her about it.
510572
Let me start by saying I am truly sorry about your loss. I have never gone through anything that horrible, and I don't know how you can even talk about it this openly. It takes true courage to come out and ask for help. Hopefully you will find it. This is my advice, don't think about it as your fault. If you sent her a letter that said how much you loved her, then clearly she didn't do what she did because of something hateful that you said, because by no means is that at all hateful. If she was an alcoholic and a drug abuser, then that is probably the reason. She might have been drunk, she might have been high, you can never really know for sure, but I know for a fact that she did NOT commit suicide because of you! Now, all you can do is remember all of the good times that you had with her, and forget the bad things. Ask her for your forgiveness. Yes, I know that she's not here anymore, but she will always be with you. So talk to her and make sure that she knows that you love her and miss her with all of your heart. And again, I am deeply sorry for your loss, you have my most deepest sympathy.
179219
I'm sorry to hear that! all you can do is try and be there for her and help her deal with her problems. but please take this advice don't let her start taking anti depression pills because they wont help her. my mom suffered a nervous breakdown when my father died and she started taking them and now she is completely addicted to them and is convinced that she cant get by without them and now she is a different person (not for the good).
620956
I suggest getting her into a rehabilition program there are great ones all over the country that deal with just eating disorders or have a speciality program from them.  The best way to help her is not to ask but give. You and your parents need to have a sit down with her. (An intervention) You all need to write down everything that you love about, what her best qualities are, and what you see happening to her. Also a good tacket is if telling her all that stuff doesn't work, have her lay down on the couch close her eyes and have her a "funeral" (I know it sounds bad,but it really does help) she is not aloud to talk. But you all come up to her say everything you love. And talk about how the disorder killed her and how it has affected you. Tell her what ended up happening to all of you after she died. Like for example you started failing in school and ended up with the same eating disorder she had. And mom started losing weight because she was so depressed she would forget, she lost her job because the boss couldn't handle her crying infront of clients. Dad was never home anymore because he couldn'e handle everything, he became an alcoholic. Their is constant fighting.  When she hears things like this it is going to hurt her and she should realize how she is hurting all of you.
167791
Oh, please, my greatest sympathy to you.  My oldest is 33 years old and I would also be devastated if something happed to her.\n\nHospice is a great organization; it helped my father during his last days.  But there should be community mental health practitioners - go to your county health department and ask them for a list of names; they usually work on a sliding scale depending on your income.\n\nPlease talk to someone.  Your question pulls at my heart strings because you seem to be such a good-hearted person.  We can't know why things happen the way they do.  And I don't think we can ever accept the death of a child.\n\nTry not to spend too much time alone right now.  If there are any small children around, sitting and holding them - getting hugs and comfort from everyone around you is necessary.\n\nPlease do call your county health department or senior center or hospice to see what counseling they have for you.  And be very, very good to yourself during this time of sorrow.  Your daughter is watching you from heaven and she wants you to be happy and go on with your life.
702084
First of all, I am very sorry for the loss of your friend. I know it feels like the whole world just got up and walked out of your life, doesn't it? It hasn't, just a part of it has, one that meant a great deal to you. Do you have anyone at this time that you can talk with on a regular basis? If not, then get one. It will help you grieve for your loss and be able to accept it and move on. A support group is absolutely your best option for now. Not only are you hurting inside but there are others there that are hurting just like you, as well. There are others at group therapy that know what your're going through and know of ways to offer support and help for you too.\nPlease go and seek out a support group in your area. You don't know how therapeutic talk therapy can be until you have gone to one of these meetings. It's free, and not only will you shed tears but others will be right there with you to help you and they too will shed tears. I am sure your friend would want you to move on and take care of yourself. You are also having I'm sure what is called situational depression and might need the help of a pyschiatrist right now. Call your doctor if you feel like your suicidal or if you feel like your gonna hurt yourself in anyway then call 911 and get help please. I wanna hear back from you to know your okay and gonna be alright. Think of all the good memories you had with this special person. I believe in the spirit world and I think those that have left before us are still with us just in a different way.\nTake care of you, and the best of luck to you my friend.
64294
have you talked to her since? she needs your support now more than ever! make sure to talk to her alot; she doesn't necessarily need to respond. ask her about her problems...make sure she knows you care. DON'T give advice to "fix" her problems; just show her that there's more to life! AND remind her of the people she'd be hurting (mainly you, other friends, parents, and siblings) if she decided to do it again. suicide attempts are always a very sad situation. get together with her and other friends; go walking, swimming, read a novel aloud to one another, watch a funny movie together, look at photo albums! make sure to spend QUALITY TIME with her. the next attempt she has may be interrupted by your phone call to hang out with her! good luck and keep it up! -sudo psycho...logist
492965
Oh No :( ..\nI would definetly call at least her doctor, and see what  he suggests. If he knows her wishes are to die at home,and not in a Hospital, at least he may be able to give you some suggestions. That is just terrible, and I am very sorry for you and your family. She must be a very special woman to have lived so long! My thoughts and prayers are with you all.
769507
This is unfortunate matter sweety...But please do not get upset with yourself...It's nothing to do with you...Be happy she's in a safe place now where she can get help...All you can do is be there when she needs you...Remember she's not herself now, so just think about the good times...She'll be back to herself soon enough...Be strong for your sister...You're dong a good job =)
556402
Dear Krystena,\n\nAlthough I am not personally a survivor of suicide, I Do know what it feels like to be Overwhelmed, and to lose those I Love Deeply to death ...  I have gotten a Great Deal of Comfort from reading certain articles ...  Many of them are online.  Here are a few that offer what You seem to need most right now:\n\nHave You Lost a Loved One to Suicide?\nhttp://www.watchtower.org/library/g/2001/10/22/diagram_03.htm\n\nWhy People Give Up on Life\nhttp://www.watchtower.org/library/g/2001/10/22/article_02.htm\n\nHow Can I Live With My Grief?\nhttp://www.watchtower.org/library/we/article_03.htm\n\nIs It Normal to Feel This Way? \nhttp://www.watchtower.org/library/we/article_02.htm\n\nSome Practical Suggestions for Survivors \nhttp://www.watchtower.org/library/we/diagram_03.htm\n\nWhere Can I  Find Real Hope? \nhttp://www.watchtower.org/library/g/2004/4/22/article_04.htm\n\nEach article contains a Wealth of Encouragement & Insight, written specifically for those undergoing such personal tragedy as you find yourself having to deal with.  \n\nI hope that you find as much Comfort as I have found in the Knowledge & Assurance that they provide!\n\nSincerely, PJ
339280
You need to take action right now. Either tell his parents or call 911 and shown them the text messages. He may get mad at you but if you really care for him you have to take the risk. He will eventually be very thankful that you were there for him when he needed you. He is crying out for help, all treats of suicide are crys for help. He has reached a point where what ever emotional pain he feels is too strong for him to deal with on his own. He needs and wants help or else he would have said nothing and acted on commiting suicide. But if you do nothing he may think you don't take him seriously and feel traped to attempt suicide sine he made the threat. Help you friend the only way you can by getting him help from his parents of the emergency system. You may be the only one that can. How will you feel if you don't and you find out he is dead tomorrow?\n\nLet me know how this works out. Good luck.\n\nSincerely,\nTerry
914230
If you seriously think this might happen - you need to contact the local authorities.  They won't take this situation lightly.\n\nIf she's possibly going to harm herself or others, they will investigate.\n\nWhere's her family - you should also contact them but don't wait for them to call the police.\n\nYOU need to do this NOW.
587668
Hey your story touched me so i thought i would take the time to answer it, at least as best as i can! x\n\nFirstly, it must be dreadful to feel empty and lonely-as in a sense, perhaps you feel like you have lost half of your identity, as obviousley your mum is half of your biological makeup-and half of you!\n\nBut on the opposide side of this, is the fact that in that sense, she will always be a part of you, as you are half of her, which should give you some comfort. You are one of the closest people to her; so when you feel lonely and down think about this!\n\nAlso Never say Never either, and keep an open mind! Who is to say there isnt an afterlife? Its best not to think pessimistic, and say that you will never see her again. If she died, perhaps she died for a reason and is no longer in pain and is in peace.\n\nTry to talk to a close member of your family who would perhaps understand. Try not to dwell on the past and embrace the family that you have presently. At the end of the day your mum is in your heart and is a part of you, and that will never fade.\n\nxx
495343
It's was a really hard time to get through...i know about the suicide because i once had my own death planned...I am know stable and would love to help you...when you feel the way i've felt you feel like the whole world has turned agianst you and that no one cares or wants to understand what's going on with you...i can say that even though i was in a christian i felt like my own parents didn't want me...what got me through is the fact that there is one person worth living for...ME! if i took my own life  i wouldn't be only hurting myself i would start a chain reaction across the nation starting with my friends and their friends and so forth...so i choose to live my life for me and do what i want and fulfill my dreams! so tell your clients there are are people that care and there are people like them out here...i've been there done that...there's no point of ending your own life with the effects it will do in the whole sceem of things...
234506
There is an organization called suicide watch.  Look them up give them a call and speak about your friend. They have there ways of checking up on the person and may even reach out to her. You are not losing out by giving them a call, that is what they are there for. If you can't find their number speak to a social worker who may have other contacts. good luck :-)