Friend or lover?  They're both driving me crazy and I don't know what to do.?
436459
I've kind of had a similar problem (although vice versa cause I'm a girl) in the past..First you need to to figure out your feelings for each girl, and decide who you want to be with. If you choose your girlfriend, you need to be honest with your friend, and tell her that she had her chance, and now you have a girlfriend, and she needs to respect that. And she doesn't have to like her, but for the sake of friendship she needs to tolerate her.. And then tell your girlfriend, that YOU chose her, you chose to be w/ her.. and she needs to respect your friendship with someone else, and its not fair of her to tell you who your friends can and cannot be.. \nIF, however you choose the friend, you have to be honest with your girlfriend, and tell her that you need to explore whatever the connection to your friend is.. and that you're sorry..\nThe thing is, even though there is a connection with your friend, It sounds as though she likes the chase, because she could had you at one time and she chose not to.. and NOW that you're taken she wants you.. just because there's a connection, doesn't mean she isn't playing a game, even if she doesn't know shes playing a game.. she is..
547400
this sounds like there are a lot of emotional issues that need to be looked into. I think you better have a straight forward talk with your friend, you are right, no one should be abused in a relationship, but it sounds like he has issues if its been two years , he has someone nice and he still stays with this other one. who pays the rent? is he a kept man? alot of questions to be answered.
688628
Time to get rid of them both, its not fair to either of them.  You need to get your head screwed on straight before getting into a boyfriend-girlfriend situation.  You can't love both, one is just lust.
361790
Don't date either of them if you want to remain friends with them.  If you don't care, pick one and STICK WITH IT.  Don't play them against each other.  It's not a good idea!
1036169
Well dear, the English language, although among the richest, is still poor to express certain issues. \nLove! Is Love a feeling or a property of a person? I think the second! Thus, if you are a person who love, then you love and you love everyone and everything! That is great! Congratulations!\nNow, since you love, you love your friends, also, regardless of their customs, attractions, wills, etc. What you are asking in if you should do what you do not like, am I right? \nIn the case you do not like something, you do not do this, because your closest and best friend is yourself! Yourself will never turn you down, or at least more than you will do to her!\nALso, we have many friends who either drink a lot, or smoke or take drags, ..., we get with them and try to influence them to soemthing we consider better! Others are doing thing we consider them fine, although those activities are not our style! Etc. We get together with them. We enjoy what we can communicate each other! Same way with your friend! You remain friends, but you should do what you really want! If you cchange, your friends will not like you any more, you will be done aanother person! If they like the new you and the new you is less good that the previous, run away, those might not be good friends, might not even be any kind of friends!\nNow, if she would bring another boyfriend, what would you think? How would you react?\nIt all depends on how you feel, what kind of girlfriend she is, what you want out of this relation, ...\nI might enjoy both of them and look around for another relation!!!!
1020083
Dont ever loose someone for someone else.  If both parties are that close to you - you can come to some agreement between them.  See your friend  - then see your girl.  Let them both know how you feel.  Whichever one is willing to work out the situation is really there for you.  Hopefully they will both understand - you dont all have to hang out together at the same time.  True friends are hard to come by.  They are there for you to the end...But when a relationship goes bad - who do you turn to?  If it is her asking you to give up your friend....tell her no way.  If it is him asking you to give her up - find out why
286081
I'm in the same boat, but I AM THE "SOMEONE ELSE. Please accept it. I am constantly being harrassed with phone calls and I had to get the police involved. Please don't let it get to you like that. It will only make you look foolish. There is someone for everyone out there and when yours comes along you will forget about the guy who is hurting you now. Trust me when I tell you that if he really loves this other girl, you don't stand a chance anymore. Let him go.
515458
Aww, this reminds me of My friend Lauren and I. We got together, she loved me, I love her, but outside pressures made it very hard for me to cope with Us. I understand where  your girl is coming from and I also understand where you are coming from. You can't make someone stay if they don't want to. And you shouldn't try if you see that they aren't happy. Especially if it starts to make you unhappy. I would suggest letting her do what she wants. Let her know that you care for her and want her to be happy and that you are there for her but draw the line somewhere. Let her know that she does hurt your feelings by doing these things and let her know that she can't be so flippant and careless. Lauren and I are good friends now and sometimes I look at her and feel a pang, but I know that we would have both been miserable if we stayed together with all the problems we were having. Sometimes its better to let something go to keep a friendship than to draw out a love affair and have it end in hatred...Oh yeah, I think that she should take some time to figure herself out without any outside influences from you or other guys or girls. The hardest thing to do is to truly know and love yourself. You are always your own worst critic....Good Luck!
652699
Why aren't you over this lover? I wouldn't waste my time thinking of anyone that left me high and dry for another person. You need to work on your self esteem because you are missing a person who obviously didn't care and respect your feelings. Move on. There are plenty of fish in the sea who will stay with you and not abandon you. Pray for someone to love you as much as you love them,  go out with your friends more, talk to someone you trust about your feelings, date people(you don't have to sleep with them) and go out and socialize
1007852
You cant keep the two away from each other forever.  If either one does something like that then you know your not with the right person or friend.  You cant worry about that until it happens.
616887
That is a very sticky situation. It may work out if you do that.  But it also may end up with them both mad at you for interfering.  I would just be there for both of them and talk it out.  Hopefully with you there listening, they'll work it out on their own.
395345
which one do you love? which one do you have more in common with? Which one makes you happier, which is less annoying? Thnk about these things. Maybe see if they are bi, then you can have them both. Tell one of them you don't want to reunion your friendship with her, and tell her you would rather have her as a friend rightnow. And see where that goes, this is coming from a girl. Always keep in mind the other one will always be there for you also.
359494
confront them..finding out that if he/she is really ignoring or..there could be something else..dont jump to conclusion if you really like her/him then confront the person taht you feel that way..maybe your mate is suffering for other things and dont even realize it..so dont take it personally if u like her/him COmmunictae buddy
1077132
This is a question that only you can answer. You have to choose, don't lead them both on. You need to choose with one you like more and stay with him. Maybe you should take some time to think about who that is, listen to your heart.
346277
Neither one is your friend.  Let them have each other.  They both deserve it.
74164
Respect your friend's wishes to make these changes for a while.  \nMaybe she is moving on and maturing in a new relationship.  \nYou are still her friend unless you choose not to be. Be there and show your true friendship and support, and let HER know you are waiting for her on "The other side".  All you can do is be a friend.  You cannot live your friend's live.  Good luck and find some new 'cool' friends if you are bored.  Don't let yourself be too closed in in your thinking; and broaden your friendship base, so that when one moves on, you have others to enjoy.\n\nYou can still like this person for who they are, not what they do or don't do.
130057
My most dificult time is right now upon me ... since I don't know what to do ...\nI've been with my girlfried for a while but things don't go exactely as I think they should (and for some time I thought she and I shared the same conceptions about life and love). She spends more and more time with a friend of hers (also a girl) and she's beginning to borrow this other girl's habits and views, views which stain my (which I thought was our) ideal of love, turning into some daily cheap thing. Realizing this kinda hurts but I'm not sure if I am entitled to tell her what to do or just let her go on the path she seems to be choosing.