There is a famine of jokes & I'm famished.Can anyone serve 3 of the best Non-vegs?
445630
hello people....by NON VEGS he means ADULT jokes. This non vegs is a common saying in India.\n\nThis is the DIRTIEST joke i've ever come across.....\n\nA bright white towel was going proudly on the road and guess what happened to him next??.........................\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\nHe fell in a puddle of mud !
1083803
lol... a "no offense" in you riddle? Now I am scared. You usually only use that in your jokes.\n\n\nhmm... a square meal? lol.. idk
535999
Half Baked -\nBrian: Get some sour cream and onion chips with some dip, man, some beef jerky, some peanut butter. Get some Haagen-Dasz ice cream bars, a whole lot, make sure chocolate, gotta have chocolate, man. Some popcorn, red popcorn, graham crackers, graham crackers with marshmallows, the little marshmallows and little chocolate bars and we can make s'mores, man. Also, celery, grape jelly, Cap'n Crunch with the little Crunch berries, pizzas. We need two big pizzas, man, everything on 'em, with water, whole lotta water, and Funyons. \n\nKenny Davis: That's it? \n\nThurgood Jenkins: Get me a box of condoms, and, um, what's that stuff ? We used to eat it all the time back in the day.\nWhat was it... oh yeah, p**sy.
903463
HE HE HE HE actually no!\n\nGood question....\n\ni hear that Ric Waller is a vegi!!!!\n\nHe he no really
796111
lol....OMG thats hysterical! hehe! i choked on my lunch on that one....stupid salad
847459
LOL that was a good one and for once it wasn't to long to read sometimes i can never be bothered to finish the joke coz there so long!\nThanks for the laugh xx
880562
The old joke I take it:\n\n2 cows in a field, one turns to the other and say's I've been artificiall inseminated. The other replies "Nah" , " yes straight up no bull."
336500
I would like a double conservative combo with extra extra pickles and no onions. And yes, I would like to super-size that!
970937
G'day Poopsy,\n\nThanks for posting.\n\nI've had a rotten day at work and welcomed a good laugh.\n\nAnyway, I might try some of those remarks at Christmas time. However, as we are in Australia, we will have prawns (shrimp) and oysters so I mightn't be able to get away with using some of them.\n\nMerry Xmas to you and all your friends and family.
560187
Try silly yaks.  There are a lot more, some for GFCF, some for overweight celiac, some for diabetic celiac and so on.  I only do silly yaks though...I found it just by searching groups.
253114
There is no egg in eggplant or ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins were not invented in England nor french fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write, but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce, and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So, one moose, 2 meese? One index, two indices? Is cheese the plural of choose? If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? \n\nIn what language do people recite at a play, and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? Park on driveways and drive on parkways? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another? When a house burns up, it burns down. You fill in a form by filling it out and an alarm clock goes off by going on. When the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.\n\nAnd why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this answer, I end it?
968960
haha, that is funny. the vegetarian actually thought they were dragon sausages. how lame... great 1.
659750
a leek, which should be leak. lol that's a funny one.
235561
try this site wwww.aadvararchiesjokes.com or wwww.humorsphere.com or www.funtoosh.com
521815
An American touring Spain stopped at a local restaurant following\na day of sightseeing. While sipping his sangria, he noticed a\nsizzling, scrumptious looking platter being served at the next\ntable. Not only did it look good, the smell was wonderful. He\nasked the waiter, "What is that you just served?"\n\nThe waiter replied, " Ah senor, you have excellent taste! Those\nare bulls testicles from the bull fight this morning.  A\ndelicacy!"\n\nThe American, though momentarily daunted, said, "What the hell,\nI'm on vacation! Bring me an order!"\n\nThe waiter replied, "I am so sorry senor. There is only one\nserving per day because there is only one bull fight each\nmorning. If you come early tomorrow and place your order, we will\nbe sure to save you this delicacy!"\n\nThe next morning, the American returned, placed his order, and\nthen that evening he was served the one and only special delicacy\nof the day.  After a few bites, and inspecting the contents of\nhis platter, he called to the waiter and said, "These are\ndelicious, but they are much, much smaller than the ones I saw\nyou serve yesterday!"\n\nThe waiter shrugged his shoulders and replied, "Si senor.\nSometimes the bull wins."
296738
There is no egg in eggplant, neither pine nor apple in pineapple and no ham in a hamburger. \n\nEnglish muffins weren't invented in England or french fries in France. \n\nSweetmeats are candy, while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat \n\nWe take English for granted. But when we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, public bathrooms have no baths and a guinea pig is neither a pig nor from Guinea. \n\nAnd why is it that pointers point, but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce, humdingers don't humding and hammers don't ham? \n\nIf the plural of tooth is teeth, shouldn't the plural of booth be beeth? One Goose, two geese - so one moose, two meese? \n\nOne index, two indices - one Kleenex, two Kleenices? \n\nDoesn't it seem loopy that you can make amends but not just one amend, that you comb through the annals of history but not just one annal? \n\nIf you have a bunch of odds and ends and you get rid of all but one, what do you call it? \n\nIf the teacher taught, why isn't it true that the preacher praught? \n\nIf a horsehair mat is made from the hair of horses and a camel's-hair coat from the hair of camels, from what is a mohair coat made? \n\nIf a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? If you wrote a letter, perhaps you also bote your tongue? \n\nSometimes I wonder if all English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. \n\nIn what other language do people drive on a parkway and park in a driveway? Recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? \n\nHave noses that run and feet that smell? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? \n\nHow can OVERLOOK and OVERSEE be opposites, while QUITE A LOT and QUITE A FEW are alike? Did you ever notice that we talk about certain things only when they are absent? Have you ever seen a horseful carriage or a strapful gown, met a sung hero or experienced requited love? \n\nHave you ever run into someone who was combobulated, gruntled, ruly or peccable? And where are the people who ARE spring chickens or who actually WOULD hurt a fly? \n\nI meet individuals who CAN cut the mustard and whom I WOULD touch with a ten-foot pole, but I cannot talk about them in English. \n\nYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which your alarm clock goes off by going on. \n\nEnglish was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race (which, of course, isn't really a race at all). That is why, when stars are out they are visible, but when the lights are out they are invisible. \n\nAnd why, when I wind up my watch I start it, but, when I wind up this essay I end it.
601982
Go to the link below.  After you've tried every vegetable come back and tell me again that you don't like vegetables!