How do I cope with an indecisive husband?
440740
uuuggghhh dont u hate that... mine does that too.\nif it is an opportunity that affects me greater, i tell him my opinion, and after him not showing interest, i proceed as i think i should, if it affects him more, i give him my opinion but don't get too involved. He thinks I'm his secretary or something, like i can make all the desicions on my own, even dinner (E V E R Y night)\nGOOD LUCK GIRL!
889108
the sooner you convince yourself that you refuse to feel agitated over something that has no future anyway, the sooner your broken heart would heal. i suggest whenever you miss him, remind yourself that he left without even saying goodbye to marry some bitch and that you should be mad for that. also, try to focus on the good side of your husband, appreciate what you have instead of wishing  for something that's not yours and would never be yours.
791754
have you considered marriage counseling? even if he wont go with you...you still need to go.....you have only been married a few months and sometimes(trust me i know) the first year is the ABSOLUTE hardest...if you want to make your marriage work it will take time and patience....but if deep inside you ..you feel there is no way it is gonna work and you are 100% sure about it then do not be guilted into staying in a marriage you are unhappy in...do whats best for you and fix this BEFORE kids get involved...good luck sweet pea
456224
Talk to your husband and ask him what it is he wants to to change if he is being reasonable take his suggestions into account and try to implement them, but don't go out of your way to make him happy at the expense of your own happiness. You love each other so you can work though this to make it work.
813755
Just remember that you always have control over your own situation.  If you are in a bad marriage don't be afraid to leave.  Get out of that comfort zone and don't let fear of the unknown stop you.
560058
Before you take advice from people you don't know.  You need to first listen to you.  If you love him and think you can make this marriage work, then try to work things out.  \n\nYou are right, the 1st year (and a few more) are hard, but that doesn't mean give up! I read your other question, and I don't think you got the "best" advice.  Consider the sources... (and here I'm talking and you don't know me from the rest of them!) \n\nBut I will say, go to someone who knows the two of you, someone who can be a voice of reason. And have that person mediate the issues you are having with your husband.  A good councilor will be able to help you there.  Find one. \n\nMy marriage ended over stupid stuff.  Things that could have easily been handled in an adult way, and fixed.  If you love your husband, go the hard road and try to forgive and get to the bottom of your issues.\n\nFor the fourth time tonight, I will suggest a few books that I believe could have saved my marriage if I had them before it was over...\n\n1. The Five Love Languages- Probably my favorite... it talks about the different "languages" of love we can offer to each other. Everyone has one or two that are their main love language, and if you are not communication to you spouse in THEIR love language, then they probably won't feel loved... great book.\n\n2. Love and Respect- it talks about the different needs of a husband and a wife. It relates to each of you. It's split in certain areas to directly talk to you and to your husband. It talks about how women see things thru "pink glasses" and men see things thru "blue glasses". It's eye opening...It's wonderful.\n\n3. Friendship Factor- This one is SO basic. It was like a light going off in my head each time I turned a page. It helps you realte to others better as WELL as your husband.\n\nI would read them in that order...together with your husband. You can find them in the Christian/ Religious section of most bookstores. And don't worry, they aren't overly "holy" if you are weirded out by Christian books. It's just that God designed man and woman for each other, and boy oh boy does HE have some good principles to build on. The books are very relatable and easy to read quickly.\n\nGo get advice from a source that you can trust. Know that my heart is with you as you are suffering.  And I hope that you can see past this incident, and try to make some sort of sense of the issues you are having.
296010
Perhaps you can talk to him and see what you can sort out. It would certainly be better if he could tell you earlier so you can make plans for them. It will be an ongoing issue for your relationship so you need to sort things out both with your kids and his kids. You want to avoid having a situation where he perceives that you are asking him to choose between you and his kids.
733456
I think you need to get over yourself.  You can still get married and do the things you want to do.  But make sure you are being fair to him.  Figure out what priority is first and make sure he knows it and if he is truly worth your time and hand in marriage he will help you keep that priority at the top.  What is important to you is important to him...that kind of thing.
1070570
Be miserable, like I am. It wouldn't be so bad if the man I married loved and respected me. I guess that doesn't help you, but these things happen. Do what you need to do to make things right, if you can.
123302
I am extremely indecisive. I do exactly what Winston said... Pull the Trigger. Like in a restaurant, I say to myself, "I'll just order this dish. Even if it is not good, at least I will know what not to order next time".\nI just think that everyone makes bad judgements, let me make one too. \n\nAlthough when it comes to more serious things, it will be wise to take someone's help. Like you want to decide on a career... so talk to your counsellor, your friends. You could also talk to different people who chose the paths you are thinking about, and ask them how they fared.\nGod Bless You.
826608
Honesty is the BEST policy...\n\nTalk to him about what's bothering you...otherwise...what is he suppose to do? He can't read your mind. \n\nMy husband works his butt off too and comes home, showers, eats and sleeps...gets up the next day, goes to work, comes home, showers, eats and sleeps...and so on.\n\nI feel the same way you do at times, but we need to understand, (which we both do) that he is tired and drained.  This does NOT interpret that he does not love you or find you unattractive...he's just tired.\n\nTry scheduling something for you and him on his day(s) off something special to do...don't wait for him...just do it.\n\nPray for courage and uplifting...\nTry to get some sleep... :)
331805
I am very indecisive, but someone once told me a good way to make up your mind. Ideally, stand in front of a mirror. Think of the options, one by one. Whichever option brings a smile to your face, choose that one. (Thanks  for the advice, Netzer!)
411852
I think you both need to have a long talk and find out where you both stand.  Maybe a counselor will help you talk out your problems so you can find out what he means.  In the meantime, I wouldn't consider getting pregnant until you both feel the timing is right.  It sounds like your husband has some issues and adding another baby to the family before you have worked through his issues isn't fair to you or  the future child.\n\nGood luck!
698362
Seeing that your husband is at fault an open conversation is the only way you could hope to change this situation, that's if you and your marriage are important enough for him to be willing to participate! It could be worth a try, especially if perhaps he's not aware of your unhappiness. \n\nIf he is not willing to listen to reason, then a tempory separation might do the trick for both of you. It will not only give you a break, but also a chance to decide if you really want to go on with your marriage. And maybe it will give him time to get his act together! \n\nI hope it helps a bit. Be strong and don't let him run you over!
1048752
get over it, he's human.  try being a wonderful loving wife, and less of a nagging, please be more perfect for me wife.  your already married, accept him for who he is right now, and you will be surprised how fast he changes.  if you want to change something someone is doing, change yourself first.  they will have to change to fit into the new equation.  what if you did something he did not like, do you really want to brow beat each other your whole marriage, or do you want to enjoy him.. what if he died tomorrow, you really think he will be on his death bed thinkin of women he looked at, or his loving wife and child?
1054658
i went through.that...now that it's 9 months, he needs to make a decision... i gave my husband an ultimatum -- call her back and don't call me no more.....HER  calls stopped... good luck
220052
sorry to hear you let it get that far, i'm sure you are too. normally, i would say talk to your mate. but in this instance i would have to say you need to figure out in your head and heart what you really want and get you priorities worked out. your children are the ones who would really suffer for your indiscretions. i'm sure that is not what you want. but if your husband finds out, i don't think he'll be very understanding or forgiving. i wouldn't. but if you wan to save your marriage, then i would focus entirely on my husband and my marriage and making him happy. kiss butt, in other words. secretly, of course. one day, if you feel your marriage is strong enough, then you can tell him. the only thing that is going to help is your conscience. honestly, you may learn a bigger lesson by having to carry this secret and not burden your husband with what you did. sorry.