Is it wrong for a married man to look at porn when he knows it really bothers his wife?
453472
Yes, it is. \nI found porn on my hubby's laptop, and (after I deleted it all, of course), I REALLY let him know how much it bothers me. He hasn't watched porn since. \n\nYou are his wife, and he should respect you, and to not do what bothers you. Contrary to popular belief, men do NOT have to look at porn...it's not a necessity for them to continue living. \n\nMy suggestion to you is to talk to your hubby about it...seriously talk. Also, consider all the reasons why he would be looking at porn. For example, if you two are not as intimate as you once were because of busy lives (jobs, kids, ect...). If this is the case, then do whatever you can to make time for him. Men need to feel attractive, desirable and wanted just like women need to. \nI wish you best luck!\n-Pegasus
356022
I don't feel that pornography is wrong. There is just a time and place for it. Some people tend to get addicted to it and I don't feel that that is right. I enjoy it from time to time with my husband. But we do not watch it 24/7. I feel it is wrong for children to see it. and I also cannot stand the sickos that tape children either. But for someone that is all alone or a couple that wants to spice up their sex life, it is completely normal.
787946
You can approach this with the knowledge that he is probably not cheating as porn fills that need to go outside the home. Guys are hardwired to have multiple partners and often porn fills that need. \nThe other over riding truth is men have the ability to view women in porn very differently than they view their wives. You , as wife, are the bastion of decency and honor not some cheap hussy who would appear on video. Therefore the women in film are in no way a comparison to you. Nor do we want them to be.  They are tawdry lust, you are our wives. Whether this makes you feel any better may be debatable. \nI think that, in a quiet moment , you explain what you discovered.\nTell him it disturbed you more than you thought it would, just as you did here.  Talk about your feelings instead of what he did which take the accusations out of the loop.\nIf you have not perceived some lack of affection or loss of sexual contact you can rest that it is not about you. The women there are detached objects which do things we would not request from our wives. They don't say no. They always make noise. They don't require affection. Consideration for them is not an issue. Unless he is hung like the proverbial horse the guys are not like him either.\nAsk him if there is something they do that he is missing with you.\nApart from frequency I'll bet he does not name much.\n\nGood Luck\n\nWomen view sex as a statement of intimacy. Men view sex with their wives like that sometimes. There are times when it is about release, plain and simple. It is release without dealing with any requirement to consider the feelings of anyone except themselves. There is a component which says just do it and requires no effort. I'll wager ther are few wives who would deal with the amount of sexual encounters required to totally deal with that because what goes with that is Wham Bam Thank You Mamm.  So unless its affecting your time together it is not about you. \nBTW the addiction thing is wrong too.
1165459
I'd get pissed at my guy definitely for watching porn. Luckily my guy doesn't watch it. But I totally agree with you. Of course some men are like why is it a big deal. They just have a hard time seeing it from our point of view because they just thinks its the manly thing to do. MEN!
538429
Yes.  But don't think of it as jealousy, think of it as disgust.  Why ARE you looking at porn anyway? It's perverted. Your girlfriend has every right to be disgusted by it, and if you keep it up, it's not going to get any better.  Read "Every Man's Battle" by Arterburn & Stoeker.\n\nIt talks about porn and other male "issues" .  My friend read it, he said it was good even though he dosen't struggle with porn... he thinks porn is nasty too...
32943
What transpires in the mind, also transpires in the heart. If a married guy glances at another gal because she's attractive, there's nothing wrong with that. But if he ogles her and undress her with his eyes, then it's an issue.\n\nThere's a book titled: 'Pornography; an Affair of the Mind'. The author's husband got addicted to online porn.  The mind responds to certain stimuli; some good some bad. The key is to reinforce the good stimuli and avoid the bad.  Check out the book and read it with him.
885695
You will get 100 men answering this question saying that all men watch porn, let it go, yada, yada, yada--I hope these same men tell their daughters the same thing...Porn is complete disrespect to marriage and all women..I aint puttin up with it--period.\n\nI bet every man who writes to you is a so called "Christian"--but these same guys ignore Jesus and The Bible which says that "Any man who looketh at a woman in lust has already comiited adultery"...\nPORN IS A SIN.
907904
looking at or watching porn is NO different than thinking or fantasizing about it. Can you stop him from thinking or fantasizing? unless he's watching some wickedly perverted material like tiny horses being raped by gorillas dressed as nuns (which I do not own!!) I wouldn't worry about it. visual erotica has been around for thousands  of years, just ask hef!
1056038
As long as you're both comfortable with watching it, I would say no. It can spice up your sex life and possibly introduce you to new ideas, although porn sex isn't usually that realistic, especially as far as women are portrayed. If you both have no moral or religious reason not to, why not? After watching some, you can check in with each other to make sure that you're both still comfortable and not jealous or anything like that.
815418
Odds are he is looking at internet porn. But don't worry...EVERYBODY looks at internet porn. It doesn't mean he doesn't love you. It just something guys do. Ignore it. (my wife just makes fun of me for doing it)
481580
I wouldn't like it to be honest. I'm not against porn, but I would be very upset if my husband was turned on by other chicks, especially if he went to a strip joint. I only agree to porn and stuff if they just look, but don't get turned on by that person. I am happy to look at porn together. Your wife needs to show you some respect! I would never do that to my husband. I wouldn't even get the urge to do something like that. Not if I'm in love.
160452
For me I could not watch my wife with another guy, I could however watch my wife with another woman.  If you watch porn it is a common thing but in rality most people accept the monogamy that is associated with marriage.
317642
I think that it is cheating as well. Like you I am in the same boat. At first I was very angry and upset and so I asked other people if I was over reacting. The thing that sucks is that every one has their own opinion. I was getting different answers from them all. I say once you have seen one you have seen them all and there is no point to wanting to look elsewhere, otherwise what the heck are they with us for, just a recepticle? I am in a predicament my self but with strip clubs and porn so don't feel all alone. Keep your chin up and try to work on a resolution and compromise. I hope this helps a little to know that you're not alone. Just so you know if you let it continue to bother you it will become a trust and respect issue. So don't badger him to change because it won't work.
430230
I think it is very degrading to women.  I do not know why they do this and it is a question that enters my mind when I talk to a friend of mine who is into porn.  He is obsessed with this and it actually is running his entire life.  Has affairs with numerous women and has porn all over his computer.  Of course I do not respect him or the fact that he doesn't respect women, nor himself.  I feel there needs to be laws on this.  What a person does in private is his/her personal business.  But what satisfaction does a man get looking at magazines, internet, porn flicks, etc?  I honestly feel it is his real sense of inadequacy and definitely does not feel good about himself.\nWhen it comes to the sick-o man who preys on children is another sickening story which makes me ill thinking about it.  \nIf a man reads this...let us know why you need these degrading things.  You cannot be fully satisfied, otherwise you wouldn't be looking at these things.
326052
I prefer my porn with a partner...nothing wrong with that if both enjoy.  Have you given him the idea that you don't like it?  If so, he may think he has to watch it alone.  All in all, a personal thing really.
338623
Yea, really there's no point... best case scenario (for him) his wife knows about the porn and doesn't care... so nothing accomplished...\n\nWorst case scenario... his wife is uptight and they have a big fight and she leaves him to go be another single mom raising kids... and you'd have to live with the fact that the kids had to grow up without a dad because you had to interfere with someone else's life...\n\nHe's not hurting anyone with the porn... if you really don't like the guy... find some way to embarrass him at work with it, but let him keep his home life out of it...
1079851
Yes because in my EX marriage, it led to other things. It went to porn chat rooms and eventually to meeting up with the women he met online. It destroys relationships.\n\nAnd to your added comment, DON'T accept it. Why should you?  It's like compromising your standards for the sake of him. If you are uncomfortable with it then stand your ground. I personally think any decent man with a strong spiritual belief and is committed to his partner would look for a more healthy and moral outlet.  It's disrespectful.  \n\nI tried to accept it too and look what it ended up doing.