If  my sister is married to a chauvinistic alcoholic & wont let her out to visit without him should I move on?
436877
You sister will only leave when she is ready. When she is she is going to need her family and a support system. I wouldn't try to push you sister into leaving but make sure you are always there when she needs to talk. If she knows she has a support system the easier it would be for her to leave.
308311
Go with the flow. If there is a possibility that you can get together on a permanent basis than great. If he/she is not going to leave there mate then you need to break it off and move on. Life's too short to cause yourself so much grief.
79244
I sure do feel for you.  Just remember that a zebra cant change his stripes.  You dont need to change your phone number or anything unless he is threatening you and then in that case, you need a cop.  I was married to an alcoholic and it turned mentally abusive.  Please be careful and watch every step you take.  Also remember that your life is more valuable than his alcohol.  If he cant get help then you need to get out and FAST.  You will find someone who is 1,000x better.  I promise.
448891
Is the brother in law your sister's husband or your husband's brother? This is so sick that not even the J e r r y  S p r i n g e r  S h o w  would touch. Ok maybe he would ... :-0 I can't believe you're asking our opinion on this!!! Isn't it obvious to you what you should do? If this is your sister's husband make sure to tell your sister..there are too many diseases out there. btw if you stay with this loser you will deserve all the heartache you will get! Be smart-get out now!!!
1155610
I went through this type of situation myself a few years back. I had a friend that smoked pot, slept around, neglected her family, blew money, got drunk all the time, that sort of thing. I couldnt see that she was not good for me and when I finally did and cut things out with her things got so good with my husband and me. A few years back she came back into my life and once again I started hanging out with her again. My husband and I started having problems around the same time. The only advice I can give you is to do what my husband did. He would caution me about her influence but allow me to make my own decisions. Eventually I got the big picture and left well enough alone. I began seeing the destructive behavior that she exhibitted and the behavior that tolerated out of her. People like that always do the same thing. They eventually screw up really bad that the other person has no choice but see what they are really all about. Be there for your girl, caution her but trust her to make the right choices. If you try to force your views and beliefs on her she will only reject you and become bitter with you. By giving her room and allowing her to discover the triths on her own it will be a lesson learned for her in the end. If she stops hanging out with this person then she will always blame you for losing a friend. If the situation is too much for you to handle then you need to decide if this relationship is worth saving. If so allow time to take its course. If not then you need to explain to her that you cannot stand by and watch her destructive behavior any longer. That you only want the best for her and if she cannot see that this friendship will only end up hurting her you cannot stanf by and watch. That you love her to much to watch her do that to herself.  \n\nYou cannot force this on her she will only pull away from you and pull closer to the friend. Remember: The father you push the harder she holds on.
111298
That is just wrong. If your sister truely cared for you than she wouldn't be keeping him around especially after the divorce. Divorces are bad enough and you want to forget them as soon as possible. I would seriously have a serious talk with your sister and let her know how you are feeling about this situation. Don't take any crap from her, make her sit down and listen to you.
1170496
I think she should leave.  He treated her the way he did, so that she would depend on him.  Without her he is nothing. As long as she is with him he will continue to treat her with great disrespect.\nHe has no fear in his heart of loosing her. He has put her down so much thae she is brain washed.
567630
Been right where you are and I certainly feel your pain.  Truth is I did take him back only to be broken yet again. We have been apart for three years now and my life is so much better while he is still up to his same tricks of abusing the next one. Alcoholic behavior and tendencies will not change.  10 months is certainly not long enough to heal old wounds he has.  There is a better life...I found one.  You and your children deserve to be treated with love and respect, not something to be knocked around or controlled in any manor.  I wish you all the best.
800215
I know we don't know each other, but 2 years ago, my sister was stabbed to death by someone whom she thought loved her. She bore him 2 children. She tried so hard to get away, even going 1400 miles away to Virginia. But he kept telling her things she wanted to hear & she invited him back in her life again. Now I lost a sister because of this monster. She kept saying that he changed & would keep trying to work it out. DIDN'T HAPPEN. Just be there & keep an eye out if possible for her. HE WILL NEVER CHANGE. I'm telling you, if you have to follow her to keep an eye her, if you think she's in danger, then YOU have to make the move. 'Cause when someone is in love with someone who is brutalizing them, they can't see. I hope this may help in some way, shape or form.....
220661
Don't worry about her. Check up on her every now and then, but alcoholism is a really strong addiction. She will have to hit rock bottom before she deals with it.
547183
Yes because you have already explained to her how you feel. Going is just supporting her....You can't choose who she marries. All you can do is be there for her when the going gets rough....My thought is she doesnt have any self esteem so just be there for her. That includes going to her wedding.
842540
Be direct and force a choice.  You stated he is your boy friend.  \nThe choice will be to stop his abuse of alcohol or you will dump him.  I know this sounds harsh but you have the advantage now of not being married to him.  If you two do not have any children between you then this is yet another incintive to be assertative now.\nIf he refuses to stop his abuse of alcohol after you let him know how much it upsets you then he is not for you.  The heartache and problems that come from a disfunctional relationship only grows much more worse the longer you stay in that abusive relationship. Just imagine the grief, the financial hardship, and the emotional toll this relationship will have on you if he chooses alcohol over your pain from his destructive actions?\nAs one phrase says, "You can see the hand writing on the wall."\nDo not be gullable.  Do not allow yourself to be minipulated.  Either he will be willing to get some help concerning his alcohol problem or he will love that alcohol more than you.
1008494
Help from AA won't help him if he's fighting and drinking.  The fighting is a deeper problem, one that will (if it hasn't already) fall out on you.  You'll be in trouble if you get together with him and deep down you know it.  That's why you don't want to get in touch with him.  Telling him you "still care" will only hurt and confuse him and make him think you're coming back.  \n\nIt's time for you to take care of yourself and do things for yourself that are good for you - be your own best friend and find someone who will care about you first.
985130
No, he shouldn't brake up with you over this, but you do need to repair any damage that might have been caused between you and your sister. Sit her down, apologize to her, and ask her if she could give you guys a little more alone time together. I'm assuming she's younger, but she might just be reasonable about this. \nRemember friends will come and go, but she will be your sister forever.
44225
Yes you should.  After all she is your sister, and you would have to make peace with her someday.  What better day than her wedding, it would also be a good gift for her for that day.
170877
if she let her family get in the way then you don't need her. Just got out with friends and have a good time do what you can to keep your mind off of her. I am going through the same thing. I just keep my slef busy.
164230
If he's not actively seeking treatment by his own choice, yes.  It only gets worse not better and if he's not willing to help himself their is not a single thing you can do. Doesn't matter how much you love him or how much he loves you, the alchohol will always come first.