trying to figure out how to make a poly marriage work with me and 2 guys.?
439405
Sure, as long as they are both okay with it.  If you are really good at keeping secrets, what he doesn't know won't hurt him.
61243
You might want to find out how he feels about this. I know my husband would have flipped if i had done the proposing. But, then again we are pretty conservative people. Good Luck!
764457
Think specifically what that guy "did" for you.  Frame what he did into words, and then tell your husband that you want him to do those things for you.  Don't say you got the ideas from thinking of another guy.  Do tell him this with an attitude of love and playfulness.  It will probably excite him to hear you state your desires assertively.
430433
Postpone the wedding with M untill you resolve your issues (youll only make a bigger mess of yourself if you dont) Leave john the hell alone HES MARRIED, if he really wants you he'll get a divorce.
864952
U NEED TO  DO WHAT MAKES U HAPPY, SO WHAT UR FRIENDS DON'T LIKE HIM\n\nTHIS IS UR ONLY CHANCE\n\nBE BLUNT, FOWARD, HONEST, AND OPEN COMMUNICATION ARE THE KEYS TO REMEMBER\n\nWHAT HAPPENS IF U END UP MARRYING THIS PERSON ?\n\nU NEED TO LET UR FRIENDS KNOW WHERE U STAND, THAT THERE ARE THINGS THAT MAKE U HAPPY AND IF THEY CAN'T ACCEPT IT THEY DON'T HAVE TO.\n\nI HAD THIS PROBLEM SEVERAL TIMES, AND I EXPRESSED MYSELF TO BOTH PARTIES, AND THEY BOTH UNDERSTAND HOW I FELT, AND GUESS WHAT ?\n\nI ENDED UP MARRYING HIM BECAUSE I KNEW THAT THIS WAY MY ONLY CHANCE\n\nAND AS FAR AS MY FRIENDS WERE CONCERNED, THEY ACCEPTED IT, AND THEY SHOWED RESPECT TO ME\n\nWE BOTH PROVED THEM WRONG, THEY SAID THAT WE WOULDN'T LAST NO MORE THAN 6 MONTHS, AND WE HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR ALMOST 2 YEARS
760797
oh what a tangled web we weave.....\n\nI don't recommend starting your marriage out a LIAR\nsave your man and yourself  some  troubled times ahead\nand put the wedding off\nyou still have a few things you need to work out first
727506
Oh, poor guy... Just listen to what you're saying: you're basically TRYING TO MAKE HIM marry you. With that kind of attitude, I don't think that guy will marry you without doubting himself whether this relationship will work. If you try to push him here, what else does he have to expect, once you're married and live together? He won't have a second of freedom to breathe - that's what you're telling him.\nDon't get frustrated. If he doesn't propose just yet - he's got a reason to do that. Either he is trying to make a surprise for you, or maybe, he is still trying to figure out how will this whole marriage thing work. If you think he's not really planning to propose - then why in the world do you insist on him to do that? If he does plan to propose and waits for the right moment, you're pushing that moment farther and farther away, because you're thinking about it all the time, and he can't propose to you by surprise if that's all you think about. Maybe, he's been carrying a ring in his pocket for weeks now. But when you two meet.... "Hi, honey, when are you going to propose to me?" -" Oh, yea, I was just going to do that..." Sweet surprise, isn't it? Give him time and space, let him get ready. It's a big step in both of your lives. And it's not every day you get married.\nBtw... Me and my gf have known each other for almost 3 years. And yet I still haven't proposed to her (even though we too talked about marriage many times). We are still figuring out each other, trying to understand the relationship better and soften out sharp egdes, which have a potential of ruining our relationship. Once we both think we've got to know each other well enough, then we'll start making plans of a wedding. Until then, we enjoy each others' company and get to know ourselves really well. One thing neither of us wants to happen is to find some really bad surprise about another person when we're already married. Way too many relationships brake up because they started too quickly. If people in those relationships would get to know each other before dating - maybe they'd never want to date another person and save tons of nerves and time.
85403
A number of inputs are available to choose from, in fact much has been said so far.\n\nI would like to add that encounters like this entail a very high emotional baggage and usually get twisted in attachments that none of the parties foresee. The point here is whether you or the incumbant will be able to live with the additional baggage or you foresee a possibility of a problem developing. In either cases it will leave an indelible impact on the lives of all involved.\n\nOther than that, what the hell go for it, at least if you do not end up liking the arrangement you could move on and there will be no holds barred for you to commit later.
1083085
Here is a situation where an objective third party can be helpful: your attorney.\n\nSay something like this: "Honey, I think we should talk to a lawyer before we marry, just to make sure that all the Ts are crossed and all the I's are dotted. You know, marriage is a legal contract. How does 2 p.m. Thursday work for you?"\n\nThen, at the appointed time, go to see the attorney. Have him or her explain what you are doing there and why. Don't say much, only agree with the attorney. If your partner explodes, then you know he or she is only after your money.
196763
the 1st thing is wot coz the tension? both of u guys shld sit down and talk abt it. let each other say wots on their mind without the other interruptin, then come up wit a solution together, a common ground. well if they dont seem to co-operate, respect u, than mayb its best 2 re-think the relationship, coz how can it work in the future wen ur marriage?
345882
Do you want to be married? You are thinking that the grass is greener on the other side. The grass is greener at home. Stop communicating with the woman online. Did you expect your wife to allow you to be with the other woman? I am glad to hear that the woman online did not respond. You with 2 women is not fair to any party involved. Since your country has arranged marriages-then you have religious beliefs. Think about your religious beliefs and answer your own question.
183892
first off, thats not polygamy. And unless everything is on the table its not polyamory. What you are doing is cheating unless you have permission from your wife. If you don't have her blessing? You're an idiot playing with dynomite
624349
Try compromising.Relationships change with time. Just go with the flow.
967088
Hey, you have my name!  J/K, glad to see another believer has my name at least.  My thoughts and prayers for you are that you truly seek God's face during this time.  Getting married will not solve your fiance's situation.  In fact, it might compound it with the newness of marriage and everything sexual involved with it.  I commend him for his want to overcome his situation, and I truly believe he needs to seek Godly counseling through the pastor or another strong believer with experience in these areas.  You, also, should attend counseling.  Don't let co-dependency conform you to "accepting" his addiction because your love is all powerful.  It can happen and that I believe is not God's will.  We should love God first, and our spouse second.  In this be on your face seeking God's will for your life.  Another thing for your fiance to keep in mind is that he doesn't have to prove anything to God, God knows every hair on our heads, I would think he knows what is in the depths of each of our hearts too.  He really has to live a different life daily and dissociate himself from everything to date that has caused his situation.  Counseling, support and accountability are what he needs big time.  Prayers and love =)
296047
You are from UTAH aren't you...lol polyamory.I'll wait whil you look that up..
479767
When it feels like it would be the logical next step.\nAsk yourself the following questions....\n\n1. Do we love, trust and respect each other?\n2. Do we share the same expectations of marriage? \n3. Do we share things in common that make us shout, cry and laugh? \n4. Do we agree on major life issues, such as children, family and friends, where we'll live and style of living? \n5. Do we have a way of managing conflict? \n6. Do we share the same views on infidelity and commitment to avoiding temptation? \n7. Do we love each other just the way we are today, without any hidden agenda to try to change the other?\nYou don't have to agree on everything. The important thing is that you and your partner have talked through these questions and both feel confident you can live and work together, knowing what the other believes
241363
If you want a commitment, be it a monogamous relationship, marriage, or whatever it is you mean (you didn't specify), and you have let your partner know and he has rebuffed you, I'd say move on.  If you don't want the same thing, it's time to find someone who does.