why is it that divorce is seen as a big failure in somebody's life?
452378
People in general like to think "it wont happen to us". When they realise it can and does they also realise that it can happen to anyone, to them. They don't want to be anyone so they have to label it as someones fault or someones failure. Ther are numerous reasons that marriages fail and end up in the divorce courts. You know here in Australia you cant even contest a divorce. Our law states that if one person no longer wishes to remain in a marriage the law cannot make them.Funny because it takes two to agree to marry but one to divorce.The only pre requisite is that you must have been separated 12 months. There is no mandatory councelling and divorce here is no fault divorce. The law, the judges, the councellors all think they know whats right for you, whats best for you etc. Its the saddest and most confronting thing to go through and endure and rebuilding is hard. You are sometimes labelled. But you know its not always a failure. Sometimes its a life line to something new and better. I, in my experience have come to see that those that see divorce as a failure have never gone through it themselves or known anyone closely that has, nor have they felt the devestation of divorce. If you feel that its your failure dont. Society and religion put so much pressure on us as a collective community to make everything succeed. Sometimes you just cant. We should always try, if there is still love there. As the previous answerer said, anything worthy is worth fighting for and working on. But you also have to recognise that for some, the end of the road does come. Its not worth losing your "self", ie your being. I guess only those who see it as an absolute failure can really answer this for you.\n\n\n'\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n'
277684
Too important. Not enough credit is given for better qualities. Hence the very high divorce rate.
755820
I think it's better to be happily divorced than living a lie married to someone who treats you badly, like i did stupidly for 17 yrs, til one day i woke up and realised that actually i did deserve happiness and staying married to someone just because i had got married in church, was wrong, especially as really the way i had been treated, my ex had already broken his vows in the first year i married him!
341340
This may come as crude and rough to you - but its the lack of sex!\n\nMost divorces and breakups have 'lack of sex' as the real reason for them to occur rather then what most 'given' reasons!
292585
Firstly - Divorce is wrong according to the bible. Thinking with heart instead of mind I would say that if you love someone you want them to be happy even if it isn't with you. It is hard to accept and very painful but it is sometimes what has to be done. This includes relationships before marriage as well. If divorce can be avoided then rather take that path, work on it. Love is not always a feeling it is a choice!
967839
Alot of people think divorce is the easy way out. You don't have to try anymore and you don't have to admit your own faults. Trying to salvage a marriage has got to be one of the hardest things in the world to do. It is filled with raw emotion that just runs away sometimes.  If people can keep their anger in check and concentrate on whats important in the marriage they have a chance. Other than that, I can't think of a way to save a marriage.
578917
I think you're absolutely correct.  The reality is that most marriages won't work out.  Divorces are both emotionially and financially crippling under most circumstances.\n\nI don't understand why so many feel that they need a legal contract to commit.  Maybe if you're doing it for religious purposes, but the bottom line is that the wedding is going to be extraordinarily expensive (most of the time), the marriage will just as likely end in divorce as not, and if it doesn't, the couple will probably not be happy once the bloom is off of the rose.  I know so many divorcees who have had their financial future yanked out from under them because of divorce and I don't quite understand why so many seek it.
354756
now days, there are more divorced people or not.  SO dont worry about SOME of the opinions you've gotten. If it wasnt you're fault, dont worry about it!  Things happen, like to me, and I sure as hell wasnt staying when that dumb a** was cheating with everything that walked.  So somewhere else, to some other preacher!
210304
Geez........That depends.  My standard of success is that I am still faithful to my husband and he is to me.  With marriages heading for divorce every day, its a great accomplishment on our part.  Then there's where we came from.  e.g. Coming to a country and starting over from scratch.  I guess I could say that's success in it's self for me.
500296
i think the bible was written in and for different times, if you didn't get divorced just for kicks its a ridiculous idea that you should live the rest of  your life alone becaues anyone or anything says you should. i think being a good person should be good enough, do what you feel is right.
388904
listen to your intuition, so many people don't listen to it which is why the divorce rate is so high. There maybe something on a subconcious level telling you that you aren't matched but for some reason or other you're overriding it.
454176
Your grieving. It is normal.  Divorce is a death. The death of a marriage. Like any death it takes time to grieve.  No matter if you wanted the divorce it is the end of a relationship.  When you spend the majority of your life with some it is really hard to stop caring and wanting to talk to them.  You will feel sad and cry. Something will remind you of him.  You have to remember why you felt you had to leave him. It will get better with time.
343114
Because people confuse marriage with weddings.  People spend so much time planning the perfect wedding and forget about whats going to come after the flowers have died and the cakes been eaten.  They don't realise the commitment they're actually making and when this sets in after they become so unhappy that it inevitably leads to divorce.  Some of the most happily married couples I know went off and got married alone in little ceremonies with no trimmings and they're still together like glue because they knew it was a marriage they were having and not a wedding.
742473
No, it's not bull crap.  People get involved in their own lives and take each other for granted.  It then becomes a chore to relate to them and feels like it's not worth the effort.\n\nHow do I know?  I've been married for 11 years and just went through the growing apart thing, to the point where we were ready for divorce.  We decided to give it one more try, and we are.  We are working on our marriage and working on being more tolerant and caring.  So far, so good.  I found that the person that I fell in love with is still inside him.  It was just covered up with years of problems and arguments and everyday life.\n\nI wish you luck too.
691180
I would have to say because people here are selfish and dont want to put the others above their own needs and desires... We live in a selfish and self gratifying society here in the states.... It is supposed to be til death do you part but today it is most of the time til one person is unhappy do we part..... Very sad indeed.... Also states like NV allow divorce for most any reason and that is very sad too.... You need to be committed when you get married and be ready to be married! I only feel divirce is necessary for 4 reasons... Adultery, Fornication , abandonment with no intent of ever coming back and if the unbelieving person wants out and also in cases of abuse to the point one person may be killed and also if the kids are being sexually abused and hurt by either partner and they are not willing to get help or change.... These are the only reasons i believe in divorcing.... This is mainly my opinion here but alot of it is Biblical as well...... I dont know all of the answers to this and i hope others can shed light on this as well!
913699
YOU R DEFINITLY NOT THE REASON FOR THE DIVORCE. \nSometimes married people fall out of love and then their lives become filled with trouble and it affects the children. I think if they fight a lot and cannot live together anymore it's better for them to break up. They will still love you and they will be better parents now and maybe they will become friends again.\n\nGood Luck
159815
It adds stress to the family. The parent(s) might get a divorce because of finacial stress. The parent(s) might wrongly vent their frustration on their children via abuse. Also people in poverty tend to look to sex as a free form of entertainment, and we all know you can get pregnant, STD... from sex adding more stress on the family.