why is it so hard to be popular..?
445949
You want the practical or the sociologist's answer? When you try too hard, people can tell, and even though a lot of the "in" crowd is really insincere, they have something to work off of - connections, friends, money, some kind of social tender. But they can sense that you're just trying and shooting blind, and it's irritating to them. You're trying to do something that's not you.\n\nIt really depends on your personality, and as Julia Kristeva said, fame (or, in your case, popularity) is a social phenomenon. However, there are things you can do to let people naturally feel drawn to you.\n\nOne of them is not to care - be confident, develop your skills and talents, and be DAMNED good at them and proud of them. Don't be arrogant; be humble and caring and sincere, but know your strengths and be honest about your weaknesses. People will want to know why you're so satisfied, why they feel good around you, and what makes you tick.\n\nAnother is to be really outgoing without trying. I'm not talking about extroverted, but this ties in with confidence. When you have confidence, you'll slowly drop your fear or awkwardness at not fitting in.\n\nAll through elementary school I was supposedly an outcast, but I was so unaware of my surroundings (I had friends and a GREAT life outside of school) that I didn't know, and it didn't matter. When I moved, it became more apparent, and all through junior high, I was awkward, but I eventually grew into my own group of friends, though I was never "popular" but not an outcast either.\n\nI moved in the middle of high school (again), so things were weird, but I found that I loved the people I could have very stimulating, and, yes, geeky discussions with. I loved choir and drama, and I loved conversations with my teachers. I got along with people who loved these things too, and everybody else who didn't care to get to know me, I didn't lose sleep over. I actually enjoyed my peace of "invisibility," not being involved with all that drama, and for some reason, I started getting more attention and even guys hitting on me, though I wasn't one of those people eager to get into a relationship anyway.\n\nStill, it was my workplace (a martial arts studio) that really opened me up. Getting into routine, discipline, and the quirks of the place built confidence. I interacted with people there whom I wouldn't normally have spoken to outside, and it didn't matter that we were SO different; we respected each other. I was happy with what I did, and it showed.\n\nThat's carried a lot through college. I don't have to party to meet people, but I am confident in my abilities and organised enough to get my work done so I don't have to stress and cram and avoid people when I'm studying. It wasn't until I got here that I realised people noticed me, but I'm so used to being out of the limelight that I didn't realise how many friends I'd made throughout the years from all walks of life and how many people I'm now getting to know, just by being myself. I guess I'm still not "popular," the kind of person who hears about all the events, but I think I have more real friends than the people who stick to one group anyway.\n\nSorry for the rambling, but the key is not to worry and to be confident. Take care of yourself because you like yourself; take care of your health because it'll make YOU feel better, not because you'll look better to everyone else. I dress well because it helps me start the day off well, not to attract attention. I do my best not to get praise, but because I feel good about it; I feel accomplished. =)\n\nGood luck, but you don't need it!
636636
Popularity is nothing but an insecurity. Certain groups of people think they have to prove that they are better than others in their age group by being "popular". If she feels that she is too popular for you than she probably isn't a good person to be with. If you feel that she is too popular for you, then you might be feeling too sorry for yourself for not being popular enough. Just be yourself and if she doesn't want you because you aren't popular enough, then she probably is nothing but trouble and you don't need her anyway. Go for someone who likes you for who you are, not how popular you are. Also, if you never ask, you will never know for sure. Just ask and get it over with. Regardless of what the answer is, at least you will have an answer. Life is too short to worry about such things, and there are far too many other women in the world to get hung up on this one.
1032004
I suggest you just be friendly to those around you and start conversations with people. The easier you make friends and meet people the more likely you are to meet someone famous. However, you should realize that famous people are just like anyone else.
1044216
baby, some time when you're trying too hard. it won't work. so, just enjoy yourself for a wait. be active join an activity. once you're concentrate on yourself, people will notice you. be patience.
1099784
Forget popular and go for good they can be with you through many many of life's challenges...I have a friend of 20yrs and I would never trade her to be popular... Good Luck
517913
What makes them popular is that people just really want to be around them. Maybe it's their personality, maybe they have a huge built-in swimming pool. Whatever they have, it's something that people want.
441389
i was popular for always coming late to school lol\nother than that.. not at all =)\njust a normal average girl, and still am\nhonestly, before i wished to be more popular, but now.. heck no... it is just a stupid and childish highschool thingy!\ni realized long ago that the popular girls in my school always got troubles with jealous girls, abusive handsome boyfriends, pervert teachers, etc etc\nso all of us who were not so popular back than are luckier than them =)
288773
Everybody has their rythm, and they need to be respected. Usually shy people have a very rich internal life, and it would be wonderful if they could share some of it with others. But you just need to wait for them, and let them know you're there for them.
979266
You can't get enough people to pay attention to you, can you?
121603
Could it be that you are giving too much credcence to the actions of others.  Just be yourself.  Some will like you others won't.  You can't please everyone all the time.  The important thing to remember is you need to like yourself.  Learn to be comfortable with that and might be surprised at the number of friends you really do have.
1180316
Why be jerk? You can be a really good person and be confident and not care what other people think of you. It's just that you have to choose the right people not to care about. You have to not care about what JERKS think of you. The good people will have good advice. If you really want to be a jerk, don't listen to any of the answers to your question, including this one. Can't say that'll do much for your popularity though.
155712
well it can have a big affect and then again it may not. i think when people are popular it's more of what they do and how they act that make them that way. but then again mostly of what people may see it's the thinner one's with that certain attitudes that are popular. hope that helps a little anyways.
1094741
I don't know about popular, but conversing with myself seems to do the trick for me.\n\nFor others though it seems to be watching someone else live their life.
365833
it could be that its not other people, the problem could be you... if you have a positive attitude, then you will get a positive responds from other people..always be able to back up what you say... the old saying is you must like yourself before others can like you...
690060
Being popular isnt the best thing. But my advice would be, just be nice(helpful) to everyone, popular or nonpopular ppl. Everyone will like u, and that's better than being popular.
1173346
It's all about being the best you can be and trying your best to get noticed...if you work hard enough for something it will fall into place eventually
1126829
Well, it is never easy to change! Just try to be more tough, to make people respect you and do not let anyone to use you, because of that you are too good! It is not fair.....