is there any one else that feels fat or ugly around her best friend?
440652
yes, I think everyone feels that way at one time or another. It's really hard because the media pushes everyone to be perfect looking (skinny, extra beautiful, perfect hair and skin). I feel that way sometimes, but I just have to accept how God made me. Besides, if everyone looked the same, it'd be boring. That doesn't mean that if you are fat(not saying you are) that you shouldn't do something about it. Just do your best to exercise and eat right, and just like yourself the way you are.
841006
My sweetheart is in the same shoes but since i met him that way and began dating him that way I have accepted it but YES, it is the good thing to do to try and help the ones you love.  HOWEVER, overweight people are extremely sensitive about their weight and are very conscious indeed.  They are sensitive to people's piercing stares and inconsiderate comments.  Before you say anything, you must be aware of this sensitivity and DO NOT USE THE WORD FAT.  Try starting the conversation like "name of friend here, you have been a great friend to me and i really care about you.  I hope i have you in my life as a friend for a long time.  There is something that I am concerned about and wanted to talk with you about it though.  I noticed that you've put on some weight since college started...is everything ok...I think you are a beautiful person just the way you are and this has NOTHING TO DO with your LOOKS, but I am worried about your HEALTH.  I just want us to be friends for a long time to come.....is there anything I can do to help you?..."  Be supportive of her and let her know you are just trying o help.
848623
"Yes", I certainly have. But, in my situation it was the other way around.. I got into a really "Bad, ugly marriage" for 7 years, and my best-friend, who I'd known since we were 12 & 13, would go and tell all our other friends all of my domestic problems, and I'd tell them to her in "The strictest Confidence", well when he & I devorced, it was like she didn't want anything to do with me .. It was as if she liked it when I was all down in the dumps, and being abused.. And someone to talk about.. Once, she no longer had anyone too "Gossup" about, it was like she had no time for me. Not to mention she was so insecure, I think she was worried I'd put the moves on her hubby being that I was now "Single" and all.. She would talk badly of me, behind my back, to some of our closest friends who would in turn tell me.. Because, they knew me better than that.. And that she was all "Full of it"!! She just wasn't happy, unless, I was going through something bad, how sad, is that!! Nor did she have any time for me, unless she had something bad to tell everyone about me!! When things were going really well for me, was always the really quiet times, that's when I never heard from her. How sad is that?!! My family always told me, she was just "Jealous" of me! Oh well, I saw her, 2 summers ago, and we played "Catch-up", she owns a home down the street from my father-in-law.. And when she found out that this same house will be left to my daughter,when he passes,,away, and that being that its a corner-lot, worth probably a good 2-3 million dollars, that her little house didn't hold a candle to what my daughter will inharet, one day.. she was so mad, she couldn't contain herself.. She kept argueing with her husband in front of me, that thier house would be well worth more, one day.. He had to shut her up finally by telling her, Kelly its a corner-lot, our's isn't !!! Dah-Heart!!! So, I totally understand, how you feel... I love her, she's like "Family" I've known her so many years.. But, I cant stand that side of her. Its really sad, that she's not happy unless she has someone to put down, or to make herself feel better, she just has to have someone to put down.. I feel sorry for her, more than she hurts me, you know. Oh well.. I would just have a talk w/ your friend and try to get him in on some of your "Successes" along with you. That might just be part of his problem. He wants to grow with you, and be up there along with you, you know. Otherwise, you two dont really have alot in common, and may make him feel alienated, from you & your friendship, you know.. Just allow him to take part in some of your successes some how, and that might help your friendship, or just dont bring things up to him, if his friendship really means alot to you....Then dont share your "Achievements" with him anymore... You know.. Sad, but that might be what you have to  do to save your friend from being insecure around you...
136406
She has a good friend. You're kind of in an awckward position to help an overweight friend. If you try to help her to get thinner, she might end up resenting you because she'll think you don't like her.\nRemember that being fat is not a body problem, it's an emotional problem. What you can help her the most is in raising her self-esteem while she remains fat. Tell her "it's Ok to be fat". Well, not in those words. Say "don't worry about what people say, people are very judgmental, and they don't understand that women have issues". Tell her "I don't think you hate your body because you're overweight, I think you have had emotions you haven't resolved yet". That sounds like psychobabble but it's pretty close to reality. You can probably find a better way to say it.\nIf you're just wishing she was thinner, and she's bringing you down emotionally, you need to think of yourself first, also. You might get to a point where you can't take it, and that is OK, you can take a break too.
388449
If you feel the need to make fun of another human being, then I feel it means you are unhappy with yourself.  One cannot possibly get any feeling of accomplishment when they demean another and make them feel worthless or less than.  People who criticize the overweight have unresolved issues of their own and belong in therapy.  It matters not how or why a person is overweight (that is their own personal battle), what really matters is being kind and compassionate to others and you will more often then not; get the same in return.
1098380
listen, sometimes the best friend is the one who is your complete opposite. they might know exactly what you feel like even though they haven't had your experiences. just keep your eyes open everywhere, and don't ignore them because they're not christian, or because they weren't gay once.
978670
When I was in High School my best friend was so pretty.  She had beautiful long hair and a cute figure.  Every guy looked at her butt because it was a perfect shape.  Not too big or little.  I think I was actually jealous of her butt. LOL!!!!!  I am so embarrassed I just said that.  :)   Anyway,  I just was kinda happy go lucky and didn't worry about it.\nYears later when we would go out dancing or clubbing guys paid more attention to me.  I was in College and she would call me  and beg me too come home for the weekend so we could go out.  When I got in town I would always have to call her and then she would say that her and her frind Mary were going out, but i could come too.  After this happening about 3 times (I lived 5 hours away from school so coming home was a major ordeal) I was confused and mad.   She would talk to her other girlfriend and ignore me.   While we were in the ladies room I told her that she was acting wierd and was ignoring me .  I asked her " are you jealous of me"?   She was like "why would I be jealouse of Kimberly *****?  (*=my last name)  I said I don't know why, but you are.  She denied it.  I left and went home.  We didn't speak again until a few years later I ran into her at  a club.  She was drunk and came up to me and asked if I could come into the bathroom with her.  I agreed.   While there she started to cry and said "remember that night when you asked if  I was Jealous of you?"   She said " Well I was and I lied and I am so sorry".\n\nMy point is this.  When I was jealous of her I didn't worry about it because  I was proud of who I was and loved her as my best friend.  Then when my body matured and I turned into a young woman I still thought she looked great, but I was no longer jealous.   But she couldn't handle me getting all the attention because she was insecure during that time.\nGod tells us to not be jelous or envious.  If you work on loving yourself for who you are and forget about who is giving whom the attention things will come and go your way because confidence is beautiful.\nMy best friend and I lost 2 years together that we can never get back.\nAnd just because no one says to you that your pretty does not mean that they are not saying it to others.  They are telling you that she is so pretty, but they are not saying it to her.
270118
there is someone for you. as soon as you accept yourself that is when others will. i have a cousin that is very heavy and she had the same problem until she stopped caring so much what others thought and she was just herself and had fun. if you do this then people will see the real you and not your weight. i am heavy and have many friends and a bf. you are capable of it
25850
Being a BBW I never realized how much I actually do that. I think part of it comes from being overweight and being made fun of by thinner women. I also think it comes from fear and jealousy. I don’t want my man going to someone else, especially a thin person. It’s a feeling of not being good enough. It’s a fear of loosing to someone who doesn’t make you feel good. And yes in my case there is jealousy that you can be thin and I can’t. Well not as easily as it seems for you. I for one apologize on behalf of BBW's that have made remarks or made you feel bad for who you are. I agree that it's not acceptable.
1176653
Yes I do have a best friend. Her name is Ida. And we have known each other since we have been 1. We are now in our mid 30's and we talk to each other on the phone 1-2 times a week and I see her every time I go home to my home town!
714434
Who needs friends like her??? Come to Yahoo - we'll make you feel better.\n\nAre you ok now???
901737
i know what u mean! well, kinda, you see, i was like that...ok, i lie, i am like that...and i dont know what it is. counsleing, and crap is trying to help me figure the source, but i dont think it is for beauty, i think it goes far beyaond that by being called fat by my father when i was only 6 years old..then by my sibblings. although i was never fat. i am under my weight now, too far, and it hasnt made me beautiful, and it never will. annorexia only gets you a lot of teasing and embarrassment, and into a deep puddle of mud. i wish i could get help, but all i can get help from is my mom and a youth pastor. i feel lonly and lost, and it is a troubling disease to have. it scares me and makes me sad.
479705
Hmmm... well first of all think about why you like him? could that be the reason other people like him too? \nMaybe it has nothing to do with him being fat, normally and sadly to say, being fat is a disadvantage to people, but perhaps because he is fat people don't see him as a threat.\ninstead of feeling pissed off about it you should realise you must have really good taste in friends if everyone likes him. It would be worse to have a friend that no one wanted around. \nAlso when people meet someone new for the first time,they tend to make more of an effort to make the person feel welcomed into the group and that is why they will talk to him more as they already know you . \nPerhaps he is funny and kind and is interested in other people and not just himself. Also if you are getting pissed off this will manifest itself and you might come across as cold or moody and that doesn't attract people. \nJust try and relax about it, be happy to have this person as a friend and try to focus on the good things about him and not just this one thing,\n \nIn life, if we have a belief about something we tend to look for confirmation of our beliefs...you believe your friends ignore you when your other friend is around so you constantly look for confirmation and signs to reaffirm what you believe....you will find it. If you change what confirmation you are looking for ( such as, my friends are really comfortable with me and like me) you will find that also...focus on the positive not the negative...it is getting you no where.\nhope this helps but you have to work at it.\n\nps: if you do as WELZENN suggested and make fun of him it will make you look dislikable and jealous and he doesn't deserve to be made fun of. that is not the way to treat a friend.
1062886
i dont know if it is a disease but i know everyone does it at one point or more in their life. i have a friend who is very petite and i get really jealous of her when we go to the beach or lake, im not overweight at all but we are just two different builds. we have to learn to get over it and then we will be a lot happier.
977767
I know how you feel. I've been there and its really a bad way to feel. If you want you can e-mail me. eula_hill7@yahoo.com I would be happy to be your friend.
103769
If she is your best friend then she should understand. You know you can't make someone like you and you know you mustn't live your life according to someone else's ideas or wants. It is normal that she might hate you or feel jealous. Guess what it ain't your fault. SO TELL HIM!!!
517825
Sounds like you have 2 BEST FREINDS who have issues with self esteem & you aren't the one to fix their problems... you should deal with your own... you said it oursel they are adult ladies (ladies is a word I wouldn't use for them) who should know better