having a 80th birthday party for my mom. need the proper way to state that it is ok to bring gifts.?
440891
Try using the phrase "Gifts will be accepted, but are not required."
789479
Not at all!  You aren't telling her what to get you (unless she asks), and I assume you are doing this for some reason of principles, and I think good for you for doing that!  Hope your mom respects your wish.  and Merry Christmas!
690490
I wouldn't think it necessary as far as regular rules of etiquette go, since it was an indirect act (it wasn't donated in the name of your sister-in-law). I would definitely thank her, and possibly giver her a token or gift of appreciation, and tell her how much it meant to you.
749413
I think it would be nice of you to send a card because like you said, she is your mother. Plus it shows that you are being the adult and trying to make a nice gesture. Also, just because you're sending her a card doesn't mean that you are totally forgiving her, it's reminding her that you're thinking of her on her special day and that you'll always love her no matter what you two are going though.\n\nbest of luck!
1097277
Perhaps a dinner gift vertificate? Or, something from your country and culture which traditionally expresses gratitude for hospitality. You can explain the significance, when you give it to them. As far as the kids go, until you've known them a while, and are familiar with what they each enjoy - tricky! Why not make a gift certificate good for "A getting to know one another day." The parents and grandparents can make plans and you can "babysit." Share stories of your own experiences, at their ages, and ask them how their experiences mirror or differ from yours.
874808
Marcia and the mother were wrong, and this is not what etiquette has come to.\nNo matter what the gift, you should always find a way to express your appreciation of the gift. Even if Sara just called you or sent a free ecard, you should have gotten some thanks for all the time, effort, and thought you put into her gift. \nAnd it's not tacky to give a gift not on a registry. Gift registries are a fairly new idea, and it's only a suggestion of what gifts to buy. It's not a requirement, nor should it be treated as such. The couple selected things as a "wish list" for their wedding, and no one is under any obligation to buy off of that list. \nYou wouldn't think it was rude for a relative to buy things that weren't on your child's Christmas wish list, nor would you tell your child it was acceptable to not send a thank you (card or even a phone call) for the gift. Same thing when you get down to it. \n\nBTW, your gift really showed how much you cared for her. You knew her well enough to know that she was devastated by the loss of all her personal belongings, and wanted to help bring back those memories. I think that by far it was one of the best gifts you could have given. Material objects can be bought at any time, by any one, and a registry doesn't take any thought to buy off of. What you did was a beautiful thing for your friend, and it's a crying shame that Marcia and Sara's mother couldn't appreciate what you did for Sara. Hopefully Sara doesn't share their greed or rudness.
1161884
This is actually a very good question. At first I was going to answer simply, "'Cause they really don't want anything for their birthday." However, after reading the rest of your question I quite agree with you that they should give some kind of idea of what they'd like.... UNLESS, of course, they really don't want anything.\n\nFor example, both my parents PREFER we are all together on their birthdays. The gift is in the gathering. Tangible gifts mean little to them at their age. How many more ties can my Dad have? He doesn't even WEAR ties anymore. Of course, perfume for Mom doesn't really go out of style but frankly she'd much rather be treated to a nice lunch or supper, or show (theatre).\n\nNow, from the point of view of the person whose birthday is approaching, being asked what they want may put them in an uncomfortable position. What should they say? A DVD? A cd? A pony? How specific should they be?\n\nPerhaps if you can discern their favorite store, a gift card from that store would be quite nice. Present it in a homemade card. Craft something, perhaps, if you have that kind of talent.\n\nPersonally, I'd rather not have a physical gift. It's just one more "thing" I have to find space for and I recently got rid of a lot of stuff to create more space. I prefer to keep it simple: buy me ribs and a couple of ice cold beers. Light a candle placed at the top of a German Chocolate cake, sing to me, join me for that cake (with coffee), then let me nap.
444171
We always pass an envelope around. People contribute what they want, and a gift is purchased accordingly. As for refreshments, etc. we all volunteer to bring something. i.e. someone brings cake, someone ice cream, someone drinks, someone plates... you get the idea. Works very well!
733985
You sound like such a thoughtful person! You also seem very well-spoken. You should write her a poem or a nice letter telling her why you appreciate and love her. You could make a frame for it, or if you have a tiny bit of money, you could buy a premade frame at a craft store for under $3 and decorate it.\n\nYou could also take a picture, or have a picture taken of you and siblings/pets/dad/other important family member.\n\nI am almost 26 and my mom still prefers the handmade gifts, even when I have money to buy her something nice.
1104422
usually they have a gift registry where the couple lists things they need.  The best thing to do is to call her up ans ask "are you registered anywhere?" If not just give them some money .
54067
first get a grip on the word "appropriate" as in buy her appropiate gifts at appropriate times. give her appropriate attention at appropriate times. be respectful of her feelings and don't push. you can't "make" her do anything. just be yourself and don't sweat it.
247307
According to Peggy Post: "A guest invited to a shower should bring a gift. If an invited guest can't attend, it is not obligatory to send a gift; however, a close friend or family member sometimes chooses to send a gift regardless."
644861
I don't suggest that you put that little bit of info in the invitation. Tell them when they get there but also have available alternative foot wear for those who are uncomfortable or not prepared (Smile).  For instance, go to a Dollar General or Target (anywhere that has cheap flip flaps or slides) and buy some to have on hand in various sizes. Something that they can keep but something that is not going to break you.  You can give them a pair of new ones to wear around the house. \n\nIf you have anyone that you have had over in the new area, they can spread the word (they probably already have) that you do not allow shoes in the house.\n\nThis is a hard one.  While telling them beforehand allows them to be prepared, it also leaves time for them to decide no to come.  If you do it at the door, they are already committed, have a kid who is expecting to attend a party and have probably already spent money on a  gift.  Bottom line is they probably won't leave.\n\nGood luck!
433822
Its spanish for a girl's 15th birthday... a pretty big deal for girls of that culture, they usually have a choice of getting a car, a trip, or this party.  It is almost always a formal event, so i would say dress slacks and a jacket would not make you overdressed.  \n\nAs for a gift, I would say that money is the most generally accepted gift for this type of party.  This party is the equivilant in america to a girl's Sweet Sixteen or a Debutante Ball... its a pretty big deal so your gift should reflect that.
1120290
Say "Happy Birthday, Steve."\n\nThis will take a bit of explaining.  In San Francisco in 1985, an acquaintance of mine (friend of a friend) asked my friend and I to go down to her house and help her prepare for a party she was giving a couple of days later.  She had a house-guest at the time and his name was Steve Holzman.  He was 27 years old, but because he had just shaved his beard and mustache off, he looked about 17.  Anyway, it was his birthday, so when Marie introduced us, she said, "Barbara, this is Steve.  It's his birthday today.  Steve, this is Barbara.  She's your birthday present."  And I did NOT say, "how rude!  You can't give me as a gift!  I'm not an object!"  I said . . . but I told you what I said.\n\nFor the next twenty years, I blessed the day I said, "Happy Birthday, Steve!"  Because being a gentleman, he would not refuse or throw away a gift.
316305
I've never heard of a semi-informal party. But since isn't strictly a social event (because it's being held by your partner organization), I suggest you not bring any gift. It's not clear if there is a "real" host or hostess as there would be in a purely social event. And customs can vary widely from culture to culture. Rather than risk offending someone, go empty-handed. (And definitely do NOT bring dessert or any other food! You would only do that if the host or hostess was a really close personal friend and you had arranged beforehand to bring food. Otherwise, it's a breach of etiquette -- at least in the U.S.)
912132
If children will be there, you might consider taking something that would interest them, like a nice Mac and Cheese casserole, or a nice salad that has kid friendly stuff in it like ham, turkey cheese or something like that. You might take a dessert that you have had at your family gatherings that this family may not be familiar with.    Adults only, the wine is great or better yet, a nice bottle of Cognac or Bourbon.  When you are invited into someone's home, ESPECIALLY for a major holiday, pretty much anything that can be considered part of the feast is appropriate.  You probably already know this, but be sure to send a thank you note to the host and hostess letting them know how much you enjoyed being included.