How do I save my marriage?  My husband works alot and feel like I don't get attention?
441547
Tell him again, cook him a nice meal, light some candles, sit down and in a Quiet voice, tell him that the money he is making is not replacing quality time with you- that you Adore him and need to have some compromise on time together- Make a date night, once a week- Plan for your romantic interludes-\n\nOne thing you Cannot do, is Nag him about it, it will just cause a bigger rift than you feel already- and harsh words spoken in the heat of emotion, cannot be taken back.
214647
If you hadn't said you haven't married for a long I would have probably known. I think you don't "know" your husband yet. I personally don't agree with such kind of behaviours but I think this unusual thing you see stems from somewhere else. This can be a "sign" to you which shows your husband has some sort of psycological problem which should be cured. You can eventually find the root of this if you continue your marrage. Time will show this to you and it cannot be hidden of course if you don't get divorced. Its your decision. If you continue your marrage and live with him you might as well be able to help him. If you just tell him not to do this action and even if he doesn't, you haven't solved anything, you have just covered the problem. But of course don't go up to him and say ' you have psycological problem' he might get upset !
392028
I know how you feel, I'm also married to an uncaring man.  It's really hard to be with a selfish person.  I'd say try to talk to him, but he may not be responsive.  If he loves you, he'll honor your request to talk about the way your lives is going.  If he doesn't, busy yourself with friends and hobbies.  Sometimes they make an about face when you're not at their beck and call.  But no matter what happens, be strong, you have you and your daughter to worry about.  Good Luck!
903476
Marriage is a series of highs and lows.  You sound like you are at the low part.\n\nWhy don't you take the initiative and put a spark back into your marriage?  Do something unexpected.  Take a weekend trip together.  Do something to save your marriage before you get so bored that you start looking elsewhere.
931152
Just keep it a fantasy and don't act on it.  If anything, use that energy as a motivating factor to accomplish something at work.  Just remember that he's happily married and u are married as well.
418874
Its possible that both of you are trying to fill the roles of wife and husband. What I mean is not seeing each other as people,not dealing with things as they are but trying to do things as you think they should be dealt with. Maybe he thinks he should be in charge, telling you what to do what to spend. I think its time you 2 have a good long talk and find out how each of you really feels clear the air. Oh one other thing to think about your at that stage in a relationship where your past the first glow of love and seeing him as he really is, time to work at the relationship build it up or see if it can be worked out.
70432
Sweety try to understand maybe he is just having a bad week now. yes its true marraige is a two way affair but what is more is it requires a lot of patience more than anything. let him win the arguments for a while and avoid any new ones. Its always one of the golden rules of marraige that you give your husband some space. nothing in this world is perfect and dont pity your self.there is nothing more important than making your marraige work. and a wise wife knows how.\n \nInstead try this for just one day: make home spic and span, make his faorite dinner, and just spend some time alone (if you want in silence) , just the two of you. Praise him and if he asks why all this just say just like that. before dinner give him a little massage and let him relax.(you too will feel good about it). ask him how was his day and noting more. Listen to him... after sometime he himself will as you how your day on and such.\n\n remember if you begin each day as a new day full of chances you wont feel brought down by any setbacks. also never confide your marital problems with friends who are single as they dont know the responsibilities of being married OR divorcees as they are already too hurt and will see only the hurt.\n\nIf there are arguments then the marraige is alive, if not then he is having an affair. (wink! wink!)
279374
Well ive never been threw it but ill be more then happy to give you my 2 cents with out calling you a slut, i think part of it is your husbands fault for not making sure you have what you need, now i know alot of people are going to scream for me saying that but its the truth, in a marriage part of our job is doing everything possible to make sure our partner is getting everything we need from them emotionally or sexually. Thats just the way it works for a healthy marriage, The only bit of advice i could give you not being actually in that situation is to eather pick on or the other, i can see you feeling even more torn when your feelings for this other guy are fostered even more and you cant act on it, not to mention the emotional and sexual frustrations that can easily bring. I can understand why you turned to this other man for support you wernt getting at home. But i can only see you hurting yourself in the long run if you dont cut ties with one of them. That is unless you totally dont love your husband anymore and your just in it for everything youve envested on a tangable level that you dont want to lose. But honestly do you think if you bumped this relationship up with this other guy you would be able to continue this double life, i hate to label it that way but thats the only thing i can think of to call it right off the top of my head, but i think you understand where im coming from. You need to set a game plan in your head on where you want to go in life if things with this other guy keep developing, what happens if this guy says ok ill chuck my marriage will you chuck yours? what if he talks about you guys meeting and making a full flaired affair? What if your husband finds out about whats going on how will you respond? How will your husband? Im not saying i know what you should do or what you need to do, but if i were you i would get a clear picture of what i wanted from your husband or from this other guy. Do you think there would be a possiblity you would be more happy in your marriage if your husband started to work with you on your problems with the marriage? Do you think there is any hope for you marriage now? Do you think your husband is doing the same thing you are on some sort of level? IF he was how do you feel about it? I think you need to ask yourself these kinds of questions and in deep deep detail figure out what you want to do, i dont think anyone in here can really answer those kinds of questions and give you any much more of a clear picture then you seriously thinking about this i wish you all of luck and i really hope you get something figured out on this *HUGS*
359950
There are other occupations where spouses are seperated for long periods of time and alot of those survive. Tell him that you think the marriage is starting to drift because he isn't around much anymore. Ask him to prehaps take sometime off and possibily cut down hours (if it would allow him to see you). Also another soultion would be to move in with him.
1002647
Don't react.  There is nothing to react to.  Look at the bigger picture.  The 5 year picture.  What are your goals and dreams?  Do you want to achieve those goals with your man?  Or do you want to end up ??????? hummmm.....  Sometimes you just have to tell him how you feel.  If you need attention tell him!!  He can't read your mind! If you are afraid to tell him that you need that extra special attention in the bedroom now, what makes you think you can tell him what your kids have done if you have any 10 or more years down the road?  Keeping secrets only intensifies the curiosity. Of *What if?* I had someone on the side?  Tell him what you want when you want it.  Change your schedule to fit his needs. If your relationship is that important to you.  Remember,  he won't always work this shift.  This is just a phase in a relationship.  Get through it, or leave... Because chances are if you don't realize this now, you will just be in agony.
390419
im sure he appreciates you, he just doesn't know how  to show it.  I know how you feel, so here's some tips that might help:\n\n-tell him you feel over worked and you know his job is demanding but maybe he can find or make time to help out and spend time with you and his kid.\n\n-tell him he can help out by picking up after himself, and doing laundry or dishes or cook once in awhile.\n\n-show him you do do things and that you take care of your kid.\n\n-tell him you feel unappreciated,ask him to say thanks once in a while or that flowers would be nice.\n\n-if worse comes to worse ask him to chang eor start looking for a new job with more flexible hours.\n\ntry to remember he loves you and that you do alot, try to get him to share in the work.  if he doesn't change you could hire a house cleaner to help you out, i dont know what else you can do, good luck!  i hope it works out!\n-get him to try to change his hours at work or take days off or even go in late or go home early once in awhile.\n\n-let him know how you feel and remind himbeing a father an husband comes first before his job, help him relize what hes missing out on.\n\n-
197489
Ooooo. Sounds like a familiar situation...\n\nFirst- This shouldn't be about right or wrong. That just makes people defensive and nothing comes out of it. \n\n\nYou do a lot and he needs to recognize that. \nHe needs to pitch in more and at least not depend on you to cook all the time. \n\nMy wife and I just had our first baby. We are both exhausted because we take shifts to feed the baby. Sometimes I have more energy and I cook or do some cleaning or vice versa. But marriage and kids is all about team work. You guys are in this together. \n\n\nPerhaps you need to approach this in a way that doesn't make him defensive. (if that is possible.) You want to make him see your point of view without him feeling like he needs to justify his actions. \n\nOwn your feelings. Tell him that you are too tired to cook, or say you need his help with something specific because you are worn out. Mention the part about being a team. \n\nBut make sure you let him know you do appreciate him to. Guys need that and we like to be able to help and feel needed. Using those words might get more action out of your hubby.\n\nEffective communication will help you through.
348941
I think it is your husband fault. You can ask this question to him and try to get his help. If hi can not help you, wait for a while. Time is a medicine for the most of the problem:)
637045
if your husband doesn't mind and you like it more power to you. don't worry what other people think. it's your life do whatever makes you and your hubby happy.
816869
Hi, has he always been like this or is it just the spell you've been arguing.\nMarriage is hard work and needs constant nuturing from both sides to feel loved by the other side.\nSome people (men and women) have difficulty in expressing themselves, is this your husband?\nIf so, maybe you accepting this as him and noticing the other ways he does express love will help, but there is nothing like a hug and hearing how we are loved so do understand where you are coming from.\nA husband and wife will either knit together over the years or move in opposite directions (like my ex and I) but for it to work you must be moving in the same direction. \nTalking to him and continuing to express yourself, your love is all you can do really, and hope he hears you before you change, because you will in time.\nMaking time for those special moments will also help, there is always another little trick we can pull out the hat to surprise him, reveal another mystery about yourself-try it-remind him of why he got with you. ;)\nJust keep trying until he either wakes up or loses out with the woman he fell for and married, I wish you both luck xxx
1115917
With God all things are possible. Please don't forget that.\n\nIf your husband  doesn't believe you cant handle responsibilities believe me he wouldn't travel a lot.\nHandling responsibilities is a character of a virtuous women(Prob 31:10) there is time for everything: time to work,play, eat, cry, rejoices and fight.(Eccl 3)\nAnd I strongly believe your marriage (not relationship) will last and stand the test of time. When couple fight it may be for a lot of reasons: maybe you spend more time at work or he is not doing things you know him for. when you leave work leave everything that pertains to your work at the office and face your family and home squarely.create time to take your husband out on a date and rediscover yourselves, don't let your drive for success get between your family. \n\nWishing you the best.
106635
of course first of all you must talk to your husband. tell him all that you know about his computer "games" and tell him how he makes you feel and how he has been treating you. give him time to talk. be open honest and blunt. if you are blunt to him he will be to you. don't spare andy feelings this is your life if things don't work out with your husband then take it from there but don't betray him even if things turn for the worse (divorce) my advise is spend less time with the friend ( i know it will be hard) and more time with the family. Try to salvage your mariage before you indulge your short term desires. Be patient and have will power. GOOD LUCK AND GOD BLESS