I impregnated my former officemate.I  am married.Her husband died 2 yrs ago.l want 2 keep my wife and her.?
445385
u r a guy,u r human. Dont get me wrong, I am not condoning what happened but man, sometimes one yeilds to temptations and prices have to be paid. So  with this baby on the way, it is obvious at some point of ur duble life ur wife will have to know then u will find out if u can keep both, either or neither.So u don't have to decide now. Just ride with it. The decision will be taken out of ur hands once demands cannot meet up with ur supplies.
793489
You are a moral corruptor and your wife doesn't deserve you. Stop talking to this friend of yours and focus on sex with your wife. How would you like it if you found that your wife was talking to her friend whom she really wants to have sex with?!
528147
Of course you can move on.  And for your sake, I hope you do it real soon.  You were a whole person before you got married, and you still are a whole person now.  Depends on who has custody of the kids, as to how much you can change her bad mouth.  If you have custody, than head for the court, again.  If not, you are just going to have to "suck it up".  \n\nYou might check with a lawyer (yuk! hate to say that) or get legal advice, to see what your options are.\n\nMain thing is to be glad that she is living somewhere, and with someone else.  Let him enjoy her wonderful company, until she screws around with a new man.\n\nI have to say to you, be glad this jerk is gone.
556068
Holy crap you sound EXACTLY like me. Keep doing what you're doing. Sorry to all the wives out there, but you have no obligation to anyone except yourself. He's the married one, so he has to take responsibility for his actions if she finds out. Enjoy yourself. Life's short.
252315
Hey this is me again...I don't know if I'm getting this or not..Are you saying that you are married but also want another woman, and that if your wife loves you she will accept it?  Wow, isn't that asking alot from your wife?  Not that I'm judging you.  I am the last person in this world that has a right to judge anybody!!Can I e-mail your e-mail address maybe you need a friend right now?
1042946
I met my wife at work. I know that they say you shouldn't date at work but it worked for us. We were friends for 5 years they dated for a few months and got married. We have been married for 5 years and are expecting our second child.
582012
It seems as if you have a very strong desire to remain faithful to your wife.  That is definitely a good starting point.  I would not, however, do as one person suggested and ask your wife to not bring this friend around anymore.  Doing that would only serve to justify (in your wife's mind) her fear that you may do something with her friend.  And, I would not have a sit-down conversation between the three of you either.  This route may make any already sticky situation far worse.  The fact of the matter is...this situation exists solely between you and your wife.  Having said that...here are a few suggestions.\n\nFirst, your wife seems to be at a point (emotionally) where she needs some very strong reassurances from you.  I believe this is where the two of you need to start.  Though you have not metioned how long the two of you have been together...I am assuming it has been quite some time.  The fact that you have children together only serves to lend credibility to this assumption.  I am going to go a step further and assume that because the two of you have been together for quite some time AND have children...the time that the two of you share intimately has decreased tremendously.  This is neither a bad thing...nor is it unusual.  Life has taken over and each of you spends more time tending to the responsibilities of life than you spend nurturing the bond that brought you to this point.\n\nIf the above assumptions are accurate...then I would suggest shifting gears a bit.  If your wife is, in fact, seeking some reassurances from you...I will tell you that the physical, mental, and emotional ones will go alot further than the verbal ones.  Yes, you have stated that she does not have to worry about what you may or may not do with her friend.  However, have you done anything physically, mentally, or emotionally that would serve to back-up your verbal statements?  If she is truly concerned about this issue...it may help if you let her see and feel your commitment to her in addition to hearing it from you.\n\nArrange for a night where the two of you are alone.  Bring her flowers, take her out for dinner (or actually make a dinner for the two of you), make her your sole focus for the evening, and let her know just how much you love and appreciate all that she is to you.  These are simple things to do.  Unfortunately, many people overlook the value in such simple things as the demands of life increase.  If you were to take the time to do the above stated things on a regular basis...I am sure you will find your wife's insecurity would diminish.  Good luck to both of you.
615369
Listen up buddy!  It is the right thing to do.  I know it comes off insensitive.  I know it sounds harsh, but you are not dooming your relationship.  You are not saying that you think your wife is gonna leave you.  \n\nUnfortunately, family court is so unfair and slanted towards the female that us men are backed in to this position now.  If you marry her and she decideds to get with your buddy, she still gets half of everything you worked for before you met her.  Is that fair?  NO!  I know your to be wife isn't gonna do that.  The fact is that if you guys are married till death do you part, she is going to obtain the benefits of whatever you are protecting anyway so why should it even matter?\n\nIf she isn't willing to accept it, I would question her motives!
80729
The question is, how much you love her? What are you willing to do for her love?\n\nAnd the other thing that you should know, how much she loves you? What is the state of your marriage and relationship overall with her?\n\nLets take a logical approach.\n\nIf this cheating was done by you, and say your act had gotten someone else pregnant, what will she do, and how will you feel about it?\n\nThe fact that she is pregnant now has nothing to do with the act of cheating. If it was an inadvertant instant that led one thing to another or was it something that she wanted to do all along and then the result is loss of trust between the two of you.\n\nIs she likely to break the trust again, provided the same circumstance or will she remember not to hurt your feelings?\n\nLove does not chain you to something, it is just the fear of loosing someone or something that you cherish. You do not want to do anything that will rock the relationship between you and the person you love.\n\nAbortion or no abortion, that does not seem to be the solution. \n\nIt is all in you two, you will have to see how you want the family to progress in future. What are the priorities and what will be the understandings. You have to learn to respect each other more and share the responsibilities too.
512260
Definitely get yourself a good lawyer. I am sorry you and your wife can't work this out on friendly terms. Have you tried talking to her? I don't really see how she can take everything from you. Ask some of your friends and colleagues for some recommendations for a good lawyer. Good Luck.
1142958
I experienced a similar situation in my marriage: I have a very demanding career and it often requires long hours.  My ex-wife couldn't understand why I was working so hard: I explained it to her but she would provide her own explanations: for example, I was not interested in staying home with her and the kids.  Even today she called me a sperm donor!  Well, marriage is tough.  On one hand I understand a woman expecting to have her husband around and when he is not regardless what the reason, I can understand how she would be unhappy about that.  But a woman who is giving and flexible would understand that although it may not be the ideal situation, her relationship with her husband is the most important in her life and that marriage is supposed to be till death do us part!   Nowadays there are more options for women and more temptation so women are less inclined to work through the difficult times as was once the case.  Even though you still care for her and miss you child, if this is the kind of person she is, then she probably did you a favor.  If you guys get back together, then I wish you the best of luck.  But if you don't I hope that you meet someone who will love and support you come hell or high water - because that is what any good man deserves!
479799
turn the question around, is is ok for a married man to keep an old girlfriend as a platonic friend.  answer honestly.  If it is not a problem for you or your loved one then more power to you.
891953
Firstly, you shouldn't have involved with a married woman..  2ndly, she is your secretary and you should have draw the line between superior and subordinates.\n\nNow, you are being pleasure by serving from your sec who is also playing with fire.  Have you ever thought if your wife is also acting such scam to other guy who turns to be her lover or superior, do you feel good on it or you would wack the shamless couple?\n\nYou are someone I believe is reputated background and you had a lovely family (no doubt you may lack of love & caring from your wife), however, you shouldn't marry her if you do not love your wife at all.  Think it over how your wife go through thick and think wtih you before you become successful.. I don't know who you are but you are mature enough to reflect whether you did wrong or not.
1083044
is your exwife a good woman? if she is, then try to repair the relationship for the sake of your sons stability. but your ex sounds kind of flaky. she may be the type that thinks that initial 'spark' is love and that loyalty and commitment have little to do with marriage... because if that was the type of woman she was-then of course she'd be wanting you back once you've found someone else! be careful... you and your ex need to have a talk about what love really is because you need to agree on what's going to happen and how you two will work at it if she miraculously loses her love for you again. remember to protect yourself and your son as well. i hope your ex is a good woman deep down....\n\nGod bless
322376
Jezebel, You should not build happiness on someone Elses'sadness. I don't know why your spouses would want to hold on to either one of you. You guys are no bargain.
1048646
Don't listen to your friends.  Enjoy the secret love affair, life's too short not to...though it doesn't sound so secret if your friends know.  Since you work in different departments it's no big deal.  If you worked in the same office on the same floor then it might be a big deal.  If you really care for this woman and she cares for you then shut out the negative remarks that others make about it.  It's no ones business but your own.  You have to remember, YOU ARE BOTH ADULTS....repeat....BOTH ADULTS.  Hopefully everything will work out.  If it doesn't then you have to remember you are both adults and will handle it in a professional manner.  You're not little children (Hello.)  \n\nYour friends are jealous....YES, they are...and PETTY also.  Shame on them!  They should be happy for you.  It's really sad they had to come down on you like that.  \n\nAlso, I know of lots of couples that met through work and fell madly in love, got married and are still married to this day.  It's wonderful.  Please don't listen to your so called friends....who I wouldn't call friends at all.  Also, you should not have made it any of their business in the first place.  And shame on you for that part!\n\nOne additional note:  Since you are already having the affair this is a senseless question to ask at this stage.  You should have asked it before you started the affair.  What difference will it make now.  Therefore, you might as well enjoy it.
93181
If you can prove she cheated (talk to a lawyer first), then she may already have broken your contract by having the affair, depending on the wording you agreed to.  Good luck. Too bad you didn't marry someone with ethics to begin with.