Have you ever been sexually abused, did you confront your abuser?
453210
i would love to answer but before i do, there are people that have, and if  the 5 year termination process hasn't ended the report or crime of which someone was abused is still secret and needs to be kept withen the family or group of whom the crime has effected. but yes, and i never saw him after he attacked me. I changed schools and i actually found streangth through god. \n\nyes i do get hurt and i still get into trouble, and bad things occur, but god makes it so much easier. he always let's you come back to him. he forgives you and you don't have to cut yourself or crash planes into world united buildings in order to get gods forgivness. \n\nanyway i've been healed because i came to christ. if i ever meet my attacker i will forgive him, but ig he hurt me or anyone else i would instantly take him to the cops.
477049
I once dated a girl who's father used to do terrible things with her in her bedroom at night. \n\nHer mother didn't believe her, and dismissed her accusations as schoolgirl fantasy.\n\nThis had a profound effect on her, both physically and psychologically. \n\nHer boyfriend before me visited hookers and escort girls even going as far as to take money from her to pay them.\n \nI was made aware of this from the very beginning of the relationship and stayed patient, never pressing sexually, and always remaining faithful. Helping to build up her self esteem and confidence.\n\nEventually, after seven months, and a real relaxing romantic evening, we made love and it was fantastic. \n\nFrom there on in she was insatiable.\n\nI guess what you need is a supportive, patient BF willing to take things slowly. \n\nMaybe seeing a councillor could help, speak to your GP/MD etc.
1174890
Have been many times.... wide array of reaction.\n\nHave retorted with an insult of my own, have laughed at them maniacly until they got embarrassed, have ignored it completely, have taken it like a woose, have gotten in their face, shoved, told them off, everything short of punching out
733167
I'm really sorry about this. Usually it's harder to prove this kind of stuff when it happens to a guy. My step dad sexually abused me, except it was touching so it was his word against mine. There was no penetration or semen to prove that he had wronged me. The only reason it came out was because I told my friend who ended up telling the school counselor because she was worried. The police took my statement and she asked if I wanted to charge him. I said "yes" and she told me that I wouldn't need to go to court because all she needed was my statement. I guess he must have gotten charged because I overheard in family court that he was doing community service and that he got pyscologically assesed. He was considered low risk, but for a person who took university classes in psycology he probably knew how to answer questions the right way. It boggled my mind that they let him live in a house full of children. My mom had two girls with him and she also cared for three foster children. My social worker couldn't quite understand either why they were still living there, but she said it was probably because he was considered low risk and that the claims weren't against my mom. I ended up in foster care because my mom never wanted to see me again and she didn't want to believe it. I would even take a lie detector test but it is not considered evidence if it were to show I am telling the truth. The only other person that could possibly prove his guilt,  would be my foster brother who was 5 at the time. I thought that if I kept my foster brother by my side that my step dad wouldn't try anything. I wrapped myself in a blanket and told the boy to sit beside me and not to leave my side no matter what. We were sitting, watching TV on the bed and my step dad came home.  He came behind us and lay down. He was rubbing me as the little boys eyes were glued to the TV. He was rubbing my legs and reached into the blankets wrapped around me. He reached to my shorts and tugged at the crotch about to go in. I grabbed his hand and flung it away and started yelling and him as I was crying. The little boy got up and was watching me cry and he asked what was wrong and why I was crying. My step dad started to appologize and was trying to get my attention, I couldn't even look at him, he kept asking for forgivness and I kept ignoring him. My step dad asked for the little boy to leave because he wanted to talk tome in private. I told the boy not to go because there was nothing to say and he listened to me and gave me a hug. He pushed him away from me and kept asking me to forgive him. I told him not to ask me. I told him he should ask God for forgivness because I couldn't do that. He said "I can't live with myself unless I hear it from you". The boy was there,  but I don't know if he understood what was going on. At the age of five he already had a very good memory of things that happened far before. I don't think they used him as a witness though, it wouldn't be fair to put that kind of pressure on a 5 year old boy who already had an unfair life. Later after the boy was gone my step dad told me that we could tell my mom, but I didn't want to tell it with him there. I was scared he would try to twist things around, so I said no. I tried to tell her myself, but he never let me be alone with her. I slipped a note to my brother telling him what happened and I asked him to tell my mom because my step dad wouldn't let me be alone with her.  He was in shock and didn't do it. The next day as I was getting ready for school he said he would drive me and I told him I could walk. I told my brother I was scared to go and he said I would be fine. My step dad didn't drive me to school, instead he just drove around trying to talk to me and parked the car in a parking lot. He told me that he was going to leave the country in a year and told me not to say anything. When it all came out he
624906
I work at a sexual violence center, and we deal with a lot of victims who have gone through the same thing as you have. They all experience the same feelings of guilt, shame, regret and almost always blame themselves. I agree that you should look into counseling, it really helps to talk about it with someone you can trust. And good for you for telling and getting him sent to prison, not all people have the courage to do that. Just take it one day at a time,it will get better.
415317
I think everyone has things from youth that affects us throughout our lives. I was sexually molested by a family member and it has affected me my whole life.It is really hard to overcome these events but it can be done. Best of luck to you
1047561
only when ive been date-raped.\n\nAlso, please dont wait long to award best answer points to me. I don't like to wait.
1049550
hey i'm new here and i read this and i know that you said it was for totellthetruth, but i just wanted to say that starting a talk session would be absolutely wonderful! my sister was raped when she was 14. and then again at 15. i know she really needed someone to talk to when it happened. i congratulate you. and thank you for doing this. its really nice. i hope you will have good luck with it and that you will be able to help those that need it most!
1165969
i think that..  you were young at that time, i dont know how old you are now, but then.. does that experience still bother you now? i'd say, talk to him if there's a chance and find out what really happened, that is, if it's still important for you to know.. otherwise, just take it as an experience, nothing more.
805992
i was raped and molested for years by a step sibiling until the time i started my period. when i met my husband i was very open with him about this and he assured me that to him i was still a virgin because it was not my choice to not be. that was very important to me because i had always wanted to only make love to one person who would be my husband. god bless you for even having the courage to discuss this. i never told anyone even my dad until the last few years. honey you a brave soul and if you feel it in your heart than that is all that matters.
477877
no I thought I knew him dated 6 years but now he turned abusive and I never thought he would do that.by the way thanks for your rude answer to my question.a person never deserves to be abused even if I was bitter which I wasn't I just wanted him to show he cared.but after being abused by someone I thought loved me and would never hurt me yes I am bitter now.
1145955
I had to think one this one for awhile, since so many bizzare things occur often.\n\nI would have to say that one of my most bizzare experiences ever was being stalked and sexually harrassed by my ex-stepfather.  \nLet me explain:\nI never lived with him.  I lived with my father when my mom remarried.  Their relationship, including marriage lasted about 3 years.\nAwhile after the divorce, I started getting prank calls where there were weird background noices and sexual noises like moans and like this person was pleasing himself.  This went on and off for five years. \nWell it seemed to stop for about 6 months after I got caller ID, in my area.  So, I wondered if this person lived in my town.  I thought that must be the reason they had stopped calling and felt confident that it had finally ended.\nBut.....then I received a call from the same person--the same background noises but THis TIME--he actually spoke and this frightend me.  I was all alone--my dad was in the nursing home and I lived there alone for the time being.  He told me that he wanted to Fck me and laughed--he whispered it, so I really could not identify the voice.  \nThis contined to go on throughout the year, even when my dad returned home.  He even called my dad when I was gone and did not give his name and acted like he was one of my guy friends--asking where I was and things like that.  My dad was smart enought to know that this person was not my friend and he figured it was my stalker.  So he hung up the phone, just as I walked in the door.  Okay, at this point, I need to mention that I had previously gotten law enforcement involved and had got a trace put on my phone.  I freaked out when they told me his name--it was my step father.  oooooooo!!!! Yuck!!!\nMy dad did not have long to live, so I never told him who this person was, because I did not want him to worry.  I played it off like it was no big deal.  So everytime he called, I contacted the phone company to trace the call.  The county attorney supeoned his phone records and yes it showed my number often.  So I had proof.  His conversations got more explicit.  He told me that I looked good and that he WAS going to fck me,,etc...\nSo, I had finally had enough and was frustrated because the attorney did not want to take it to court.  He kept putting it off --for over a year.  It took that long to get to court.  I pushed the issue and told the police of my complaints against the attornery. One of the local deputies sat in on my consultation with the attorney after that and my attorney insulted me infront of the cop and even through my papers on the floor and said that he had even lost the call logs and everything.  Well, the police and my protest put a fire up his AS* and finally was taken seriously.  \nI got the Women's Crisis Center involved and this helped me a lot.  She prepped me and told me my rights and how to get the lawyer to present my case.  I even had a friend as a witness to one of the calls--she overheard it--and she testified.  He plead innocent initially, however his attorney convinced him otherwise, after knowing I had enough evidence against him.  He wanted a plea bargain.  I contested in court and his attorney made fun of me infront of the judge and said "Well this person wants to play perry mason so I guess we will have to go tor a trial.  A date was set and I was so excited---I wanted to see him go down, for disrespecting me--emotionally and I did not want him to get away with this.  What a Pervert!!!  Well, he plead guilty and even took the stand against the advice of his attorney.  My attorney got him to admit that he had called numerous times for the past years--up to seven.. and he said he knew that it was wrong--he said he did it because of what my mom did to him and that his anger would take him to the grave.  Well, the judge asked what I wanted from the court--and I did what my attorney and Crisis worker said that would be taken seriously and plausible.  The judge gran
719013
Yes I have been sexually abused as well as robbed of my virginity when I was at the ages of 8-14. I was scared and confused as to why it was happening to me. There were times I thought I liked it, but I really didn't. Of all people to do this to me was a very dear and close friend of my family and a father figure in a way. I feel as though you are a victim and are still in the abusive situation because you like it and it feels good to you, if so I urge you to get out and report him. Men will take advantage of a little girl whenever and wherever they can, that's Men! I found your question to be inappropriate as well as a cry for help.
165318
There is no wrong feelings for someone who has been sexually abused.  You feel the way you do and how you deal with this issue in your life is up to you.  I would recomend though that you look at getting some type of therapy or counseling because the affects of sexual abuse are often not fully realized and will affect future relationships in ways you can't imagine.
327483
I have been the victim of both emotional and physical abuse. This was from my boyfriend at the time. I was choked, hit, threatened, and cheated on. I was called a whore if I wore makeup, I was left alone with a concussion so he could go out with friends (I was supposed to be woken up every two hours), I was lied to, I was called a b*tch so many times that it was like a nickname, I was ignored, my needs were ignored. I was taken advantage of physically, emotionally, and financially. It ended when HE left, because my identity had been so damaged that I no longer had a will to be happy. Since then, I learned that I had PTSD - post traumatic stress disorder as a result of the abuse. Treatment for that changed my life. Abuse of any kind never gets better. You cannot change anyone. If you are not in physical danger, then insist on counseling, because you are still in danger of losing YOU. If you are in physical danger get out NOW - abuse never gets better, it only escalates. Best of luck.
312567
hey sweety, I just wanted to drop by and tell you what I did rather than to tell you what to do. Three years and a half ago me and my boyfriend broke up. He had always been an ass to me. Well not always but it seems he didn't love me. I left him loving him, tring to tell myself I didn't. I was sad for a couple of months. I was really sad, and alone. There was this guy that seemed to always be there for me. He seemed different. He easily convinced me with lies. When I was in the sitiution and was about to go for it. I backed off, and don't him to stop. I was having second thought on it. He didn't listen. I pushed him off... I got raped that day. It was only a couple of seconds of seconds that he did it but I have lived with it for the ret of my life. After that I realized who I really loved. I went back with my ex, and everything was great. I kept having that scare in me. I eventiually told him what happened. He cried like I had never seen him cry. He told me it was a lie. Then he told me to do something about it if it wasn't a lie. I was scared. What would everyone say. Especially my family. They didn't even know I was with my boyfriend. Eventiually I thought that with time it would heal never did though. Eventiually my boyfreind went on and saw the guy who raped me in a local bar. I guess my boyfriend had a little to much to drink, or maybe had to much built inside that he slammed the beer on the table then slid that guys throat. I couldn't believe what he had done. Yet I now know he did it for what I didn't do. He told me not to worry about him. That he was happy. He did what I never had the guts to do. I still love him, and wish he was with me instead of in prison. It's been two years since this happens, and i'm still so sad. The love of my life might now be put on dead row and I feel so guilty. I'm sure that things like these never happened to you, and never will hopefully the rape you talk about wasn't like mine.
340895
It is a terrible thing being abused by a parent.  You can deal with it andthough you think you have toughed it out, you still should get some professional help.\nYou just need to remember, that none of it for any reason was your fault.  You need to know that the abuser had issues and unfortunetly didnot deal with them except for lashingout at you.  Maybe as a child growing up, this parent was brought up in an abusive home.  Only she and possibly you will ever really know that but the deal is to forgive that abuser, and forgive yourself for there was nothing you did wrong and nothing you could have done to prevent it.  I am so happy you are out of that situation and would really like you to join a support group, or seek professional thereapy with a specialist because many times the cycle of abuse passes from one generation to the next, and many times, we don't realize this until it's too late.  These people help get inside of your head and really get to the core, and that does go a long way to being able to cope with it and not pass it on into your generation.\n  confronting the abuser is usually done at a certain point of the therapy and I would suggest not doing it until then.  It is very probable that you still have contact with this person and this person may still have an abusive nature, such as that which will come out more as verbal, emotional abuse as you are older now.\n  Please get someone to help you deal with it...they are trained and although you say you have pretty much dealt with it, you really haven't and you need to.............\n  Good luck and I am so sorry for what your parent did to you.  You were helpless and felt so unloved and so wrong all of the time, and believe me, this is not lawful and it is certainly not fair.  Good luck and stay tough.............