does anyone believe in holding  grudges?if so,why do u?
450161
Never! Grudges not only hold you down as a person, but can destroy your relationship with the other person.  Face them about the problem and get over it.  If they choose to hang on to the issue, it's now their problem-not yours, you already tried to resolve it with them.  Besides, aren't you better than that?  C'mon...  Grudges don't do anyone any good.
1129518
There are a few people that I dislike, but I don't "hate" anyone. Every relationship I have with people, even the bad ones, shap me into the person I am today.
1107904
yes, yes, I have no friends because I don't take that crap from people...it's hard for me to forget in the "forgive and forget" type of thing...so I ditch 'em all. I'm better by myself.
63403
YES!  I've let others hurt my feelings and make me doubt myself.  I've learned though that, it's up to me to allow that to hurt me or not.  I am responsible for my own feelings about myself and shouldn't let others make me feel bad or doubt myself.  I must love myself and not let anyone else shake that!\nI don't want anyone else to feel that way about themselves because of something I have said so, I try my best to be supportive instead of belittling or insensitive.
973057
I actually have done multiple re-evals - especially because it was apparent that I had hurt other people who were devout to their religious beliefs which differed from what I believe.  And I have had to apologize for my approach a number of times.\n\nI think there are times, too, though, where it's impossible to avoid offending others.  It's in those times when I've had to trust God and speak with fear and trembling, leaning heavily on the compassion with which He dealt with me to speak to a particular person in the first place.
716842
Well, I can sympathize... because I have been "walked over" by many friends.  I'm smart, academically speaking, and have made many friends who feel it is my duty to tutor and provide them the answers and help on all their papers.  Or friends who only call when they need something.  This is why I only have 1 real friend, and my husband.  It took a while to realize that people are shadey, and you can't always trust them.  Hard lesson learned.  Now I evaluate every relationship, asking "Am I getting out of this relationship what I am putting in?" and if I am putting in too much energy... and not recieving any of that energy back, then you really have to evaluate if it's worth it..
593889
That depends on how apologetic a person is. If a person is sincerely sorry about what he or she did, I can forgive. Many people however don't even bother to apologise. They suffer my revenge ten fold.
656658
Yes I used to do that alot. I agree to do something I don't really want to do or agree to an opinion because it is just easier to do so. And I found that I was starting to hate myself for it. \n\nRight now no matter what situation I'm facing I either say what I REALLY feel about it or keep my mouth shut and not let myself do anything I dont want to. I get into trouble sometimes because of that honesty for some strange reason. But at least at the end of the day I'm perfectly okay with myself. Don't let people tell you who you should be or shouldn't be. It's something we all hate but sometimes do to ourselves. But now that I stopped that I'm much more relaxed and happier, even if I find myself different than what people expect (or want) me to be.
488707
You are truly in a classic catch-22 situation with no real positive outcome unless you change your perception of your relationship.  The reason that I view this as a catch-22 is that you have competing feelings about the relationship and are not even truly aware of it.\n\nWhen you hold a grudge, or in other words, withhold your forgiveness for past actions, you keep yourself closed off from the full potential of the relationship you are in.  At the same time that you are limiting the potential of creating a stronger bond with your boyfriend you are wishing and hoping that you will mysteriously be able to let go of the grudge you have been holding against him for his past actions.\n\nNot letting go, not forgiving, holding grudges...these are all natural emotional reactions fueled by your ego in an attempt to prevent the same pain you felt last year from being felt again, especially at the hands of the same person.\n\nIf you are unable to take the risk of trusting, then you are going to be similarly unable to release the negative blanket that the grudge is over your relationship. If you cannot release the negative value judgment you hold against your boyfriend then your time wondering how you are going to be able to move on will simply be time wasted.\n\nIn short, you hold this grudge to protect yourself, which is fine and normal in most situations.  If you continue to hang onto the grudge, in the very least be honest with yourself regarding the related consequence of you also holding back your relationship.\n\nI know the whole thing doesn't sound fair, but he cannot change the actions of his past so the responsibility is upon you to change your actions in the present, anything short of that and you are going to be wondering how to get over your grudge for a long time.\n\nGood luck.
209967
People will do and say anything to provoke others and it is best to express forgiveness and I hope you can forgive that person but as for me I do have a difficult time forgiving others for their trespasses against me especially when there are things in my past that has left me emotionally scarred to where I express distrust and resentment towards others mixed with a short temper and I do admit that this does hinder my personal relationship with the lord and I would ask that you would remember me in your prayers since it is likely that I'm about to get kicked off of this forum of which I don't care if I do get the boot.\nThey can kick the lord out of this forum but they can't kick the lord out of me.
115314
I have pondered this same thing..\n\nI can forgive someone for treating me poorly, but I will never forget how I felt when that happened.. \n\nI think it has to do with a little self preservation, and more to what you want to surround yourself with, and  not wanting to put yourself in a position to face the same types of offenses.\n\nForgetting it a very hard thing to do, because you naturally associate some things together.. like a favorite song from high school that instantly makes you feel a certain way when you hear it again, or the first time you laid eyes on your first born, or the first time your heart was broken.  You retain this data (I think) because it's all a learning process that later will help you value what is and isn't important. And the emotions tied to those things are memorized with your heart.
870062
People alive at the time and affected by the event often hold a grudge.  They teach their children to hold that grudge too.  It creates racism and anger.  You have the tight idea.  We can't forget the event or the lesson learned from it by we have to let go of the anger.
948353
Yes, my past comes and bites me in the ass all the time...some days I wish I could have a "do over"..so I could make better choices...I know youre not feeling sorry for yourself, it's just so frustrating sometimes...like you want to scream"I'm Sorry, I'm trying my best, I'm not the same person !" Hang in there and keep making good choices and doing the right thing now...
1009506
yeah myself! i act fake alot, depending on the situation. i'm also a total hypocrite and i don't give a sh*t :)
1013050
I watched a lot of family violence as a kid, so I am adamantly against violence on women or children... I was also kidnapped when I was 5, so I always check the missing kids board at Wal-Mart on the way out. I had a lot of my friends mothers teach me to be who I am and how to treat people with respect. \n\nI've had my bads far outweigh all the goods and positives in my life, but I wouldn't change a thing. I've learned not to take anything for granted, anything materialistic can't be taken with you, but most importantly, on a negative side, I've also learned to not trust anyone. Because everyone, no matter how loved by an individual will someday be hurt by them, be it emotionally, physically or worse.\n\nBut that's just me. :D
438867
Yes. Sometimes I think I should apologies to a girl I used to go to school with. I left school yrs ago so their r no chances of seeing her to apologies. I am sorry for being mean we do stupid things when we're kids. Its weird coz she wasn't a nice person her self, seemed like she thought she was better than everyone else and she was really really weird used to touch people and do strange stuff and people including me were mean to her coz of that. But if I could go back. I would not have been nasty to her to her. Probably would have just ignored her. But I'm sorry I was un necessarily mean to her. Also I am rude to my Mum sometimes which is very wrong.
1023302
I try so hard to be kind, giving and thoughtful to all. Sometimes it's really hard as people are not sincere in this society today. It seems like I've been let down by so many lately and these are people that have been a part of my life for many years. Just when I needed them most, they all let me down.I was there for them through thick and thin but I just can't do it anymore. There comes a time when even people like me who are sincere, honest and loving has had enough with being taken advantage of and taken for granted. I'm sorry about it but I'm honest.........:o)