How do you survive the second deployment?
435683
My husband is currently deployed for the 2nd time.  It's hard, I am not going to lie.  But I grew up Marine Corps and then I married right back into it.  As long as you have the strength and the love for your husband/boyfriend/fiance you will make it.  I PROMISE!  I would truly say being a Military Members spouse during deployment or any other time is the toughest job in the corps.  We girls call ourselves "Semper Gumby" Always Flexible!  Cause, in reality, we have to be flexible, hardly seeing our loved ones, holding down the fort, and I am taking care of our beautiful 18 month old little boy but everyday I see that little boy of ours smile I remember my husband is doing his job and fighting for our freedom!  I pray for EVERY Man and Woman over there fighting and am very very proud of all of them, even the wives and families at home, missing their loved ones like crazy!  I have spent our only 2 anniversary's alone but when he is home it's all worth it!  I am proud to be a Marine Wife and I am proud to have my husband serve in the armed forces with anyone's husband, father, mother, sister, brother etc.  You will make it!!!!  Be strong!!!!  SEMPER GUMBY!
1178465
From one who was there, and lost all his men, and lived to tell, you are very welcome. I was in Afghanistan in 2002. 19 yrs old. We had and are still having a hell of a time over there. We(the armed forces) need all the support we can get. On another note though, If I had the choice to go and fight knowing what would happen all over again, I would go in a heart beat. No thanks necceccary. We are just doing our job. (Semper Fi!)
922211
One thing the military chaplains say after returning from a long deployment 6 months or more is not to be excessive. Don't try to do too much at the beginning. All things change in a dynamic environment to include people during a separation of any sort. Of course the important thing is communication. This is important throughout the entire deployment. Expressing desires, wishes, and other needs is crucial to keep things as "normal" as possible during the seperation period. When I redeployed from my mission, my wife and I went at it like rabbits from the get-go, but we also took the chaplain's advice and didn't try to do too much too soon as far as other issues were concerned. Expressing intimacy is important in any relationship and should be done to begin the readjustment process. Hope this answers your question.
33326
PS2??? WOW must have been nice! LOL Take the bug net(it helps alittle with the sand storms as well) Take the walkman. Get some real good goggles(like the ones for snow skiing) Helps with the sand storms & sun on the convoys. You can get most anything you need once you get there. There are small PX's there before you go out you will have a chance to "stock up"\nThe gloves are a great one too.\nGet yourself some "patrol gloves" Any law enforcement police / tactical / military surplus store should have them.
328523
You will get different answers from different people.  There are some people that spend all day in an air conditioned office, with a pool just outside that get off work at 1600 (4 pm).  Others, like me, are in the infantry.  We also have tankers, artillery, medics and others with us.  We live in Iraqi houses, sleep in our trucks, stay up all night in an ambush site, drive all day as an IED (roadside bomb) test kit, talk to the people everyday.  And we may stay out for 7, 8, 9 days or more.  We set up a patrol base and get mortered daily.  Sometimes we dont see our actual base for a month at a time, or more.  When we get blown up, shot up or totally f*cked up, we have to turn around the next day, with some of our friends not with us, and do it all over again.  Yet to some, stress comes from running out of staples when you are done writing that report, or the ari conditioner not working today.
999455
I went to basic in fort jackson....i went on june 2nd 2004. Dont bring a damn thing.....When you get there...they give you a 'smart card' and they make you buy shoes...clothes..socks..etc. Keep in mind everything you bring you will be holding with your arms straight out for atleast an hour... so dont buy anything. Try to be what we call'high speed' dont kiss ass..and DONT ASSUME THE DRILL SERGEANTS LIKE YOU..BUT do everything your told to the best of your ability and as fast as possible. Try to become the bay leader or the platoon leader. Work your ass off in pt and dont cry or whine. Whether you like the training..(rifle,landnav,bayonette courses..etc) or not have fun with it but dont smile. Say YES DRILL SEARGEANT , NO DRILL SERGEANT as loud as possible. Keep your area clean and learn how to do hospital corners on your bed BEFORE you go to basic. Start drinking plenty of water now....youll have what is called force hydration where you have to drink 2 qts so you might as well start now so you dont get sick. Make sure your 'battle buddies' dont fuck up...stay on them even if they hate you tellin them what to do itll look good on your part and youll have a smoother ride. Be aware that theyre will be some 'crazies' when you get there...people will try to pull some bullsh it and kill themselves, run away, talk back....just ignore them and do what your supposed to do. The red phase is the worst. Oh and once you get to the blue phase ( last phase) youll be right back to red phase...they like to mind fu ck you like that. Dont stress it though. Youlll learn to like the chow...no soda or dessert but youll be alright...umm if you have anymore questions you can message me on im whatever496@yahoo.com
881431
As a ex military wife there is always a chance for deployment.\nPlan your wedding the way, you want it. Keep a strong line of communications, you will be his rock. If possible meet as many wives, girlfriends that will be in your future husbands reserve unit, get to know them. They will become you new best friends and your rock. The military will make you both stronger and prouder than you ever image possible. Live everyday to it's fullest and always respect his wishes to serve his country, even when your scared for his sanity.
883486
I've moved tons. Last time was 4 months ago and 2 countries away.\n\nThe first year is the toughest, the second it begins to feel like home IF YOU LET IT.\n\nDon't compare the new area to your old home. Accept the new place as is. Not worse or the culture 'wrong', just different.\n\nexpect culture shock, google it before you go and do some reading.it's good to know before you're in the thick of it.\n\nOnce your there set up a blog to  share with your friends back home. It's much more interesting then telling the same stories of your' new experiences over and over again. Your friends can comment back and stuff.\n\nChat with them on MSN\nInvite them to come and visit\n\nI'm thinkin you're young, that makes Lang learning easier, be encouraged.\n\nTry to focus on the positives though it's real tough right now.\nGo on line and find read about your new home.\n\nIf you are able to face this challenge you'll grow alot through this.\nIt's OK to cry, just wipe your tears when you're done and move on. Over time you'll cry less and less.\n\nBlessings
798226
Most of us suffer from some for of post traumatic stress disorder.  Especially those who saw combat.  We were programed to kill people and break things to act as police in the most unusual chaos without the training to do it.  I remember being told to suit up in MOPP gear, a chemical weapon suit and learn how to fire so I could continue on with the mission when all I could think of was getting the hell out of the contaminated area.  also taking a life offsets you years after you do it.  Especially the bloody ones or the younger ones.  You usually have no choice but you dwell on it constantly when you get out.  Best solution is to talk with other people who have experienced what you have, don't break any confidences but open up as much as you can.  it has helped me some.
621441
I read your question and it is EXACTLY what I went through when my husband was deployed just a WEEK after our son was born... and as I write this he is in the Mojave Desert training for the next deployment later this year. I know just how you feel... I was so exhausted from being the only one to care for my son (kudos to ANY single parent out there by the way) and I thought that I could get stuff done when he slept... But I was so tired that I also ended up watching tv or browsing on the computer... So, one day I just went out and bought a set of windsor pilates cause my back was killing me. I made a routine for myself: I got up at least an hour before my son's first morning feeding and did a workout from the pilates thing. I then took a timed shower and then tended to the baby for pretty much the rest of the day. I had a place on the dinner table and a smaller table in the living room where I'd have daily/ weekly checklists of what I wanted to do in that time period. (I even had to put "Eat breakfast and lunch" in there cause I'd forget to sometimes, because of the baby). Anyway, see what happens the first couple of days or so and the next week try to break the previous record. You'll still be caring for baby but you'll be keeping yourself busy when he's settled for a bit so you can manage your time better when you get a chance. I had lots of family around but they were always so busy and I felt guilty asking for help. Oh, so anyway, I'd make it a point to be in bed by 8:30pm but no later than 9:00pm. It's sounds lame but I used to do this in college and I felt awesome the next day, even though I woke up at 5am sharp. Sometimes I'd just lay there with my eyes open. Eventually, my body realized it needed rest and adjusted to the schedule. I was so refreshed the following morning and thanks to the mini workout I squeezed in the mornings, my aches and pains from stress and exhaustion were gone. It doesn't seem like much, but you definitely need to take care of yourself in any little way you can. Take up a small hobby, project, or indulge yourself a little and put it in your checklist. I hope my weird regimen doesn't seem too lame... lol... it worked for me and kept me "sane" while my husband was gone. I'm still on it for the most part, but now that our son is 19 months it's a little easier to get things done. Best wishes to you and your son and husband; Good Luck!!! ...now get some sleep woman!!!
478362
my husband was on deployment not too long ago.  letters are great, try to keep them positive.  don't go on and on about how awful the war is and how stupid bush may be...they will either agree or disagree, but it doesn't change the fact that they are there.\n\nalso, black socks, underwear, t-shirts, toothpaste, handi-wipes etc. all help.  there was a period of time when my husband was without a shower for a month or 2 because their water resources were blown up.  so, showers came from handi-wipes or wet nap, ya know baby wipes.  get things that are unscented, though.  snacks are good, granola bars, nuts, cookies, chips, etc.  someone mentioned non-melting things...that's best since it can get to 120 degrees by 9 am.  also, movies, books, magazines, cds...my husband's biggest complaint was boredom alot of the time. they spent a lot of time swapping movies and music. \n\nalso, if you are writing to some troops, ask them if they have any friends that wouldn't mind a care package.  my cousin got lots of packages, but some of his buddies didn't get any at all....he shared, but it wasn't quite the same.\n\nthank you from all of the loved ones of the troops over there for being so compassionate to their personal needs.
362794
There's room for anyone in good shape.  I was in recently but was medically discharged before I could go to Iraq unfortunately.\n\nFirst of all, when you talk to the recruiter, ask him about something called the "trail blazer" during basic training.  They change the name occasionally.  It basically involves being able to max out the AIT PT test at day 1.  You want to do that.\n\nSince you're married, you'll probably want to get a non-combat MOS.  (Although I took a combat MOS because I'm married) Try for something along the lines of supply clerk, mechanic, or something of the like.  Don't worry if you aren't trained, they'll teach you everything.  Mortician is a messy and unpleasant job, but if you can handle, it usually has a great signing bonus.  DO NOT GO 88M!  Those are truck drivers.  They have the highest mortality rate in Iraq and they need everyone they can get.  It sound good and easy, but it's not cool.\n\nSigning bonuses are paid after AIT, as much as 6 months later depending on the MOS.  Married people should stay away from counter intelligence since that could keep you away 10 months out of the year, but it's my number one suggestion for single people.\n\nJust so you know, Basic Training is all about messing with your mind.  When you get on base, just turn your personality off for about 3 or 4 months.\n\nInjuries in the Army.  The Army is mean on this one.  If you get injured during anytime you get handed your orders and taken to the airport and the end of AIT, THEY WILL TRY to pass it off as a prior injury, no matter how stupid.  I saw guys getting general discharge on collapsed arches.  Not a pleasant thing, but I did see an honorable on a hernia.\n\nWell, the first few months are hell, after that, it's sweet.  It's good job, you're taken care of, and if you learn well, you have plenty of potential.  If you go to Iraq, you can still get free college there.  And you should take every opportunity for college credits possible.  A degree means eligibility for officer training and a good position in the army.\n\nAnd finally, make sure you fill out the paper work correctly.  Take your time, especially when calculating income.  Being married, I made more than the lieutenant as a PVT.\n\nIt's a good life, but it is the Army and the Army is about war.  For some reason a bunch of kids these days forget that when they sign the papers.  They think about travel and college and easy money and forget that it's about fighting.\n\nWell, I encourage it and wish you luck.
735655
Yes.  I was deployed to Iraq for 12 months.  I got home back in Jan. of this year.  Being that I was the one who was there; I don't really notice any changes in myself.  But other people have told me that I'm a lot more laid back than I used to be.  Before I went over seas I used to get pissed over anything and everything, and now apparently; I don't sweat the small shit.\nYes, I would absolutely do it again.  Being over there was a wonderful experience.  Don't get me wrong; I had my fair share of "bad days", but looking back I wouldn't change any of the choices that I've made.  And that includes enlisting.
1103797
God Bless you and thank you!  My son is at infantry basic training at Fort Benning and we just welcomed my daughter (Air Guard) home from Iraq.\nMy advice for boot camp would be to make sure your loved ones write to you and OFTEN and that they understand you probably won't be writing back too often but you need their support!\nIf you aren't used to working out, start!  Run, walk, do pushups, situps anything to help your endurance.  Start going to bed early and rising before dawn, just the little things so the bootcamp schedule isn't more of a shock to your system than it already will be.\nAnd be proud of yourself, you accomplishing something!  Your country loves you and believes in you!  You must too!
232255
To join the military is a big adjustment period.  Let alone with a child already.  First you have to realize that there isn't one job in the Army where you can say 100% that you will not deploy.  Now deploying means anywhere from Kosovo to Iraq.  I have two children of my own.  I didn't have any when I joined.  Due to training, Temporary Duty in places where I'm not stationed, and Deployments I have missed both child births, both first steps, and both first words.  Is it hard?  Of course.  Is it worth it?  I believe it is.  Now also realize I'm an Active Duty soldier.  When I deploy it involves a lot of training before hand which means weeks away from home and long hours before I'm gone for a year.  For NG and Reservists deploying means "mobing" at an Army base for up to 6 months followed by a year long deployment.  As far as the push ups and the climbing goes. Ask your boyfriends father to teach you the correct push up form and start working on it before hand.  The minimum you have to reach by the end of training is 40 pushups, I believe, for the age group you're in.  Basic Training is hard but not impossible.  When things get hard just remember that you aren't the first female to go through it and you won't be the last.  I'm also an Army Brat.  My dad served two tours in Vietnam as well as Panama, Somalia, Bosnia, and the first gulf war.  I'm extremely proud of him and he helps me in my current carrier when I have leadership challenges.  Your boyfriends dad may or may not tell you what you want to hear.  He has a tough job though and I couldn't really blame him.  However my recruiter worked for my dad at one point so I got straight answers.  Ask him and when he tells you see how it makes you feel.  This is a decision you have to make for yourself.  You are responsible for raising your child and if this is the best way you can then go for it.  Is it better for a child to have a homeless family who's there all the time or a taken care of home who's parents are gone for periods at a time?  Granted that there are in betweens but I hope this kinda puts things in perspective.
752219
Be his friend, write to him and send care packages while he is deployed.  Let him know you would be happy to come visit him when he returns from his tour.  Right now, be a good friend.  He doesn't have amnesia.  He remembers what you previously told him.  Perhaps this will be a good "testing" ground to see how you would handle deployments.  Maybe he was hesitant to get "involved" with you because he didn't want to put a "girlfriend" though a tough deployment.  Show him you got the moxie to stick it through (being his friend)....and then when he returns who knows...he may change his mind when he sees you can "handle it"....Remember...be upbeat, encouraging, help keep his spirits UP.  Show him you got the "stuff" to handle it.  Good Luck!
243051
First, before you go have it in your mind that YOU WILL NOT EVER GIVE UP! That's what is going to get you throuh.  Rememberthat Basic Training isn't really as hard as it is going to seem like and millions of other American Soldiers have completed the training.  You can get through it- you just have to keep trying and keep a positive additude.  Never quit when you feel like quitting, and you will have times when you feel like quitting.  Erase from your brain that quitting is even an option.  Your mental and emotional state needs to be solid before you get to Reception- it will help everything else fall into place.  Leave your relationships back home on a good note; try not to levae any unfinished business that you'll have to go back to. It will only make you worry about other things when you need to concentrate on training.\nOnce you get that prepared. . . .\nRun, Run, Run, Run, do push- ups and sit-ups, and then run some more.  Most females have the toughest time with push-ups and running, so make sure that you are as prepared as you can be. That being said, you will still get smoked, no matter how good of a shape you can work yourself up to, the Drill SGTs will push you harder.  Remember that this is a good thing and take something from it- teh Drill SGTs will make you better than you thought you could be, if you let them. This will be a chance for you do to things that you never expected and will teach you that your limits aren't as low as you thought the were.  Overall, it's a positive experience; one that you can be glad of.  Try to enjoy the challenges, but take them seriously- you will probably have to use what you learned someday soon.  \nI'd advise keeping your hair at least long enough to pull it back into a bun.  Shorter hair requires constant maintence to keep it within the regulations, and you won't have much time for that, and you don't want o have to worry about a dozen bobby pins every day. Don't expect long showers, or many chances to shave your legs either, but you'll get used to it, and make the time if it's important to you.  Good luck!\nOh- one last thing- start getting used to drinking lots of water!