Hey, is it true that if you fart in church, you must sit in your own pew?
453892
only if it comes from the rectory
873916
Doesn't matter what church it is.  You're entering the house of God, so it would be nice of you to wear something respectful.  Also, you should ask yourself, for whom are you wearing these boots over pants' legs, for people or God?
639655
All of God's services are free. You can be baptized in your bathtub at home, if you wish. It does not have to be performed by a priest. It should be done at the will of each individual, not to children who have no idea what it means. Baptism is like a symbol to those around you that you have accepted Salvation. It should come after Salvation. \n\nBaptism is done in personal obedience to God. It has no saving power (just so you understand).
280397
Don't know why, but I know what you mean.  What's worrying, however, are the exceptions to the rule.  When you do one so bad, you force YOURSELF out of the room.  Normally, mine provide me with a pleasant reminder of my last good meal. ;)\n\nIncidentally, a philosopher (I think it was St. Thomas More, who died in 1535!) once said that "Everyman thinks his own fart smells sweet".  I gather he was making a broader point, but it shows that you're not the first one to point this out.
711512
no. all religion makes you burn
149936
I was an acolyte and was performing as deacon at the time.  During communion (the rail was pulled and pad down for people to kneel, and I was seated on the altar behind the rail). \n\nThe stupid torchbearers who were sitting in front of the rail behind the choir were making faces at me and I started to laugh.  I mean REALLY side splitting about to pee myself laugh.  I was absolutely mortified, and that just made me laugh even harder!\n\nI ended up bowing my head, moving the rail, hopping over the kneeling pad, and running to the sacristy.  Luckily everyone thought I was crying, and that I was sick. \n\nJust terrible.
262845
ssssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhh not so loud.these questions confuse the church and the vatican may send their ninja monks to shut you up .
266719
no....\nIt's actully a protection for the people inside.\nIf god sends his wrath on them, then just because they're inside a holy place, might get averted.
1107002
Yes, but do a purification ritual conforming to your religious tradition before you move in.  The term "exorcism" is what Christians use, but there are many different purifications, depending on the religion.
318481
Is farting at the office bad??? \n\nI thought it was mandatory! \n\nHow else can you express your innermost feelings?
1186108
My church is kind of like that. We are a methodist church but with an open policy. Anyone is welcome with no judgement from the church. After all, Christ did say all should come to the temple and worship him. He didn't truly specify.\n\nAnd to whoever says we should make our own decisions, we have. We CHOSE to believe in God. Just because YOU have problems with who you are and where you belong, don't take it out on those who have figured it out.
1051062
Depends.  If it's a good satisfying fart that either sounds good, or gives you a feeling of pressure release, or clears the room, or makes everyone around you cry and vomit, then yes, God has blessed you.\n\nIf you poo a little at the same time, then He has cursed you.
941066
I'd like to know the answer to this one.. sense you seem to be asking to see how many others also know the answer.  I also believe God has a sense of humour... or half the things in my life would have never happened!!!! Would you let me know the answer?  On the humorous subject of flatulence... my Dad has unfortunately always found entertainment in this... it isn't fun if you ride in a vehicle with him and he has control of the window locks... you could dang near suffocate!!!!!! My Dad is so bad about this that the first time I shot a black-powder gun, I accused him of farting (the only time it really wasn't him ha ha!)  Oh for those of you who don't know, the black powder smells like sulphur or rotten eggs. Just giving a good laugh... sorry... and yea, I know that is a little gross... but it is true...
1054174
yes, because if thats what you want to do, then go for it. If you ever read straight through the bible, every damn thing is a sin even going to the bathroom is plus its no one elses place but gods to judge you
713634
sit if you are an old fart!
339672
well probably your fart just comes out and when you are doing your duty you push to hard that happened to me ONCE but just be careful i heard that that is bad, when you push to hard when doing your duty.
485597
No, sorry.  You just get to sit in the lap of Jesus for all eternity.\n\nI'm sure his throne is a magnificent piece of architecture though!\n\n\nDon't listen to the others though, just focus on his lap.