Please rate my poem!!!?
452241
AWESOME WORK.I AM A POET MYSELF AND I BEEN WRITING A LONG TIME AND I CAN SAY THAT YOUR POEM WAS SPECIAL.YOU ARE TALENTED YOU SHOULD SUBMIT SOME OF YOUR WORK ON POETRY SITES.ALL OF MY WORK IS AT LOVELANDIA UNDER THE NAME VALKATVAL.GO CHECK IT OUT AND START YOUR OWN PAGE,ITS A GREAT SITE,YOU'LL LOVE IT.
1071467
Lost in the dark reality..\nI am true insanity..\nCold eyes watch every move..\nAs the rain falls..\nAnd the wolf calls..\nThe blood smears..\nAs I drown you in your tears.. \nLives are shattered like mirrors..\nThe lights of hope put out..\nBit by bit we are torn apart..\nYet the battle wages on..\nSome are in the darkness waiting for the dawn that will never come..\nWhile others look the pain and death in the eyes\nAnd try to save other's lives..\nBut in the end..\nWe are like sand blown away in the wind.\n\nWaiting for the cold whisper of fate..\nI am true insanity..\nSilently and gracefully I make blood drops fall from the red-purple sky..\nHe wished I would just die..\nAll this over his lie..\nI attack every Suna moon..\nAs I walk away, I leave blood on every sand dune..\nI wander through the desert..\nDrenched in blood with darkness in my hand..\nThey just cant understand..\nI am true insanity..\n\nI can no longer stand reality..\nI am true insanity..\nI am alone..\nThe only one who I trust is the voice..\nWho resides in my head..\nAnd she wants you dead..\nSo I grant her wish..\n\nShe hates all women except me and herself..\nI am true insanity\nShe fills my head with beliefs and drowns out my past with soothing songs of death..\nShe thinks of me as her daughter and calls me her little desert rose..\nA rose burned from the harsh sun.. Hated for being different..\nA rose that drenches herself in blood to be red like the others..\nYet is never the same..\nSo she hides herself in shame..\nAnd kills..\nTo have the thrills..\nAnd happiness the others have..\n\nShe sings the song desert rose when I cry..\nAnd my eyes always seem to get dry..\nThus I sing Desert Rose every Suna moon.. While I attack..\nYet there is one thing I lack..\nLove..\nIn the streets and buildings they speak of me in whispers..\nCall me the desert rose..\nSay im always close..\nThey say if you go out deep into the desert on a Suna moon you can hear me..\nWatching from the shadows of a Suna moon..
1049959
Love\nThen said Almitra, speak to us of Love.\nAnd he raised his head and looked upon the people, and there fell a stillness upon them. And with a great voice he said: \nWhen love beckons to you , follow him, Though his ways are hard and steep. \nAnd when his wings enfold you yield to him, Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.\nAnd when he speaks to you believe in him,\nThough his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden.\nFor even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning. \nEven as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun, So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.\n\nLike sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.\nHe threshes you to make you naked. He sifts you to free you from your husks.\nHe grinds you to whiteness. \nHe kneads you until you are pliant; \nAnd then he assign you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God’s sacred feast.\nAll these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become fragment of Life’s heart.\n\nBut if in your fear you would seek only love’s peace and love’s pleasure, \nThen it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love’s threshing-floor,\nInto the seasonless world there you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your treas.\nLove gives naught but itself and take naught but from itself.\nLove possesses not nor would it be possessed;\nFor love is sufficient unto love.\nWhen you love you should not say God is in my heart\nAnd think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.\nLove has not other desire but to fulfil itself.\nBut if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:\nTo melt and belike a running brook that sings its melody to the night.\nTo know the pain of too much tenderness.\nAnd to bleed willingly and joyfully .\nTo wake at dawn with a winged heard and give thanks for another day of loving;\nTo rest at the noon hour and meditate love’s ecstasy;\nTo return home at eventide with gratitude;\nAnd then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.\n\nFrom book THE PROPHET BY KAHLIL GIBRAN
542771
Hey, I am so sorry that I didnt write a poem. I cant write poems very good. LOL. But I just wanted to tell you how good that poem is.I love reading poems about what others went through, and this is the best one yet! I hope everything works out between you and your ex.
685188
May be at wikipedia.com and type in ..........poem
746531
Wow, that is so beautiful.\nNo, it does not sound like a letter, it's definately a poem and it has a story somewhere in there. I wouldn't mind hearing it, i'm interested. I've written a few poems but they're not constructed well like yours is very well done. mine all have stories burried somewhere in them. How i came to writting whatever i wrote or what they're about.\n\nbest of luck, and keep on rolling\n~just a Youngling\n\nps. i chocked on a paperclip because that's how i roll
1049444
its a beautiful poem\n10/10\nyou have a talent my darling\npursue it!\n\n\nStay Hungry, Stay Foolish
134236
That poem rocks.  I know that it is controversial.  I would be interested to see what people thought of a choice line or two from the poem.
935796
It's ok, but just not my style of poetry.\nIt needs to have a rhythm.\n\nIt might work better using the japanese haiku style.\n\nOk, I did just a slight altering. See if this works better.\n\nI really like sports football is my thang,\nAnd Peyton Manning is the man of the game. \n\nI love the colts  and you might be surprised, \nthat any girl on the planet likes to watch sweaty guys\n\nI really like football and someday I'll be\na pro football player on a pro football team.
856647
no way man, i didnt even read this poem and i know its a bad idea. if you like a girl and nothing is going down yet, a poem will sink your ship my friend. way, way too much. think simpler
974415
Despite about 25 minutes of searching I haven't been able to find this poem.  Could you call or e-mail someone you know who has to do the same assignment and possibly get the poem that way?  \n\nThese sites may be of some help to you.  My only other advice would be to get to a bookstore in your area if there is one and you might find it there.  Best of luck with it.
993368
I hope you can take constuctive criticism. I think you're thoughts are good but it's too Rhymie. It's more like a limerick than a poem. And I personally don't like that 3rd line, "People near me makes my fun." I don't understand that.\n\nSorry for the honesty!
1170485
you seem like a good writer although I'm not the one to critique you....my speciality is poetry-free verse form.  good luck.
548590
That was amazing. If you wrote this you have an immense amount of talent. You seem to know what you want to say and have a perfect way of putting in on a piece of paper. You should go to www.howtowritepoetry.com and enter it in their contest. I think that was a beautiful poem and you should continue writing because you have pure natural talent that i think people can relate to and are touched by because i know i was.
1117456
I've always liked this poem...\n\nOne night I had a dream--\nI dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord \nand across the sky flashed scenes from my life. \nFor each scene I noticed two sets of footprints, \none belonged to me and the other to the Lord. \nWhen the last scene of my life flashed before me,\nI looked back at the footprints in the sand.\nI noticed that many times along the path of my life,\nthere was only one set of footprints.\nI also noticed that it happened at the very lowest\nand saddest times in my life. \nThis really bothered me and I questioned the Lord about it. \n"Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you,\nyou would walk with me all the way,\nbut I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life\nthere is only one set of footprints. \n"I don't understand why in times when I needed you most,\nyou should leave me." \nThe Lord replied, "My precious, precious child,\nI love you and I would never, never leave you\nduring your times of trial and suffering. \n"When you saw only one set of footprints,\nit was then that I carried you."\n\nMary Stevens
196500
In this liquid crystal haze I wait,\nbreathe, feel the tautness of \nmy need.\nI scan, exhale, and scan again\nthe pixilated emptiness\nthat will not reorder itself\ninto an adequate display\nof love.\nWill I fall headlong into a deep\nchasm, that buries hopes\nof you in the corpse of me?\nYour eternal distance\nI cannot recover.\nI need your warm breath, the\nmagic \nof your laugh\nthe very goodness of you.\nWill me back to sense.\n\n(Copyright reserved.)\n\nI did get that you were using a computer motif (the headache!), and I realize that I strayed from that and went with the feeling of emptiness experienced by the end user that can only be resolved with the presence of another.  (Unfortunate, that!)\n\nSpecific changes, and why I made them:\n1.  "Of every expectant squirm" didn't convey serious intensity, it was more childlike excitement over something sure to happen, but from your poem I didn't get the feeling that the user would ever get the message he desired.  I changed it to a very serious "my need".\n\n2.  Changed sigh to exhale.  Sigh seemed to indicate frustration, and as I changed the level of intensity above, exhale conveyed a more physical withholding of the very act of breathing.\n\n3.  "Will not resolve itself into sufficient love" I changed to "reorder itself" as I pictured the letters on the screen actually shuffling around to say what he wanted them to say (I think you were going with a computer resolution becoming less blurry?); "sufficient" which seemed to ask for a quantity of love -- I changed to "adequate" as I was going with the quality of what was being communicated was not meeting the need.  Not sure if you meant quantity or quality, or maybe both.\n\n4.  Theme of chill/splinters/shards - I just couldn't make that work for me as a reader.  You lost me there because it was so physical rather than emotional.  I went with chasm/corpse/eternal to convey emptiness and despair.  \n\n5.  Changed the final question to a plea.  Changed Charm to Magic (the power needed to bring back life).  \n\n6.  The boiled down message\nMy need\nof love.\nI cannot recover.\nWill me back to sense.\n\nYour poem is cool as it is.  I'm guessing from reading some of your other Q&A that you actually did want people to rewrite/comment.  As you know, some people don't -- they just say they do.\n\nAnyway, yours stands well on its own.  It's different from my version, not better or worse.  Perhaps I put too much feminine drama into it and totally changed the character?  I'd be interested to know if I took it further in the direction you wanted to go, or went way off in a direction you hadn't wanted.\n\nThis was fun!  Thanks.
231805
the poem is very good!!!