Child custody...is this a joke...what will the judge think?
442546
Agreeing with the girl above.  Esp. about the journal.  Keep track of EVERYTHING.\n\nMy guess is also that it is a scare tactic.  Instability??? Please, is PRISON stable??? \n\nIf he has not supported the child, seen him, etc., you have nothing to worry about. Forget the joint custody the girl above mentioned, I would fight for supervised visitation if he gets to see the child at all.\n\nI am wondering where he got the $$ for any atty.\n\nHere is where you can also find a little comfort in the fact that courts like to keep kids with their mothers.\n\nYou do need to get a lawyer.  If you cannot afford one contact your local bar assocaition or pro bono program.  If you cannot get a lawyer fast enough, go to the court and file for a continuance.  DO NOT GO TO COURT ALONE!!\n\nBut as far as having any concerns about losing your child, I certainly wouldn't sweat it.  I know its hard not to worry, but if you are telling the whole story, he doesn't have a chance...
765970
I agree with you completely.I never had to go through custody hearings myself,as my ex just dropped off the face of the earth.But,I went through this process with my best friend.It went on for years.Her husband was a wife and child abuser with numerous police reports files on him.He always said he would kill them all if they left.Finally,after he raised a shovel to hit one of his children with it and my friend stepped in instead,she finally had the good sense to leave this man.It was always used against her in court that she took her children and ran and he didn't know where they were for about a week.HE ended up getting custody of both of these children after years and years of fighting.Very sad,both of these children are now on medication for mental problems.I just couldn't believe just where these judges heads were.I think he was given priority because he was in the military,but these children's lives were ruined by the stupid decision of all of these judges,and over the years there were more than one.Why a judge would give custody of two little girls to a known abuser is beyond me.They should be held accountable for their decisions,especially when the outcome should be obvious to any normal person.
471674
Don't try to use the kids against her. That's probably what she does, but if you do the same, it will only make things worse. On the other hand, you might have to fight dirty. Don't be dishonest, and don't ever show your anger, but the courts don't reward chivalrous conduct. If you have money, then hire a lawyer with a successfully pro-father track record. If you don't have money...well, I don't know what to tell you then. I hope I never have to face what you are going through.
1173113
they will not take all of your children if they believe that it is only happening to that one boy...or if your other children or close to or of age...also yes the judge can do that..he can make it longer then 21 days...i believe that your case is serious since ussually when DCFS is called they will only comne to talk to the boy an then to you..an then they would usually leave a send you a report stating whearther or not the abuse was indidcted ..meaning was true or unfounded ..not true..but since they took him out this case is very erious an it looks like you child may end up going into the system...foster care...if this is true then your son will become a ward of the states an your parental rights will be terminated an someone else will get guardianship over your boy...my advice to you would be to contact a legal reprsentative.
759788
Cas in Canada lie.Group homes are privately run. These places get major federal$$$ per child. They answer to no one. If they can hold child for one year "voluntarily" Then they are wards, in until 18.  I have heard of so much abuse of power it staggering. The only possible way for her to get children back is hire lawyer. In a second they stop all the Bull and back down.  All kids I know of in care were bullied by CAS into voluntary custody for 3 months. Back ground checks is an excuse to track down anybody u have ever known and probe and spin things.  Legal Aid covers lawyers for this situation.\n       CAS has no thought of giving kids back, marriage or no marriage. Most likely they will just start talking to everybody who has ever met you. They are free dismiss good things and exaggerate any bit of gossip from any anonymous source .
328658
Tell the Judge.  They are supposed to rule in the best interests of the child's welfare.\n\nI assume your Dad is a good guy and can handle a daughter?\n\nYou aren't just going where you think the rules will be easier, are you?
1094369
hello there. I have fears just as you do. I have a now 6 year old son with epilepsy who after all these years I am being told I have to do a paternity test. The father told me if it ever came to this that he would fight me all the way and take my son who he's never been a part of his life away from me. I refused to pursue with the dna test but was told if I didn't the state would. This terrifies me so much. I absolutely know what your fears are. As for can a judge do this?. I was always told a judge couldn't try a case unless both parties have an attorney. Did you sign away your rights to an attorney? If so then the judge does have the right to make this decision especially if this is what the child wants. If your child didn't want to go then the judge should not have sent him to this abuser. I would appeal the case for the best interests of your child, especially since this guy was an abuser. Make sure when you go back to court to have an attorney, and all paperwork(police reports,etc) showing that this abuse was going on.  Let me know if I can help anymore . Blue27:birdlover272006@yahoo.com
744667
I'm a female.  But if I was in that man's shoes, I would not take that lightly.  How can she be such a con?! \n\nThen I would sue for custody of the child.  How do I know if she will look after the child being a liar that she is.  She is just a bad person all round. \n\nI would be ashamed to call her my friend if I were you.  There's nothing wrong with him not using protection.  He had the knowledge that she wouldn't fall pregnant.  He was just decieved.  Period.
320758
The family court is not known for its speed.  I would contact the Ohio State Bar Association (attorney) and request for referral to family/custody specialist.  Interview them and find out their success rate in getting you custody and the reality of your situation.
67945
My daughter is 4 hours away, we have joint custody and I also have been treated like you by the court and my ex.\n\nIt makes us angry and the system is the system.\n\nWhat have I learned? Keep the high ground for the sake of your daughter. Be a great loving dad that is supportive and be a great role model.\n\nI have seen a big difference in my relationship with my daughter.\n\nShe only has one dad and a new step mom. keep up the good work my friend.
904163
Wow, sounds like you're going through a really tough time.  I think the judge would order that your boyfriend and the baby be seperated until such a time as your boyfriend learns to leave you alone.  Wait until the child is much older and understand a lot more, like around 8 or 9.  Then tell your child (be honest) about what has gone on between you and his father.  If the child says that she/he would like to know his or her father it's only right that you give them a chance to meet no matter how much stress it puts on you.  I firmly believe that everyone has a right to know their father (or mother).
841304
It's fairly common for people to come to Family Court without a lawyer. The judge will usually try to keep it fair. It will be tough against a lawyer who might know the law better or try to intimidate you.  However, that can work for you as well if the judge sees that the lawyer is being rude or bullying you because the judge will become more sympathetic to you. You should prepare as well as you can: make sure you know the relevant law and what you want to say. Do not ramble - judges hate rambling. Keep your points clear and concise.  Bring a support person if that will help you.  Do not get baited into sniping with the lawyer or your ex. Stay professional. Don't speak over other people, especially not the judge. \n\nIf the issue is child support; in California, that is determined by a strict mathematical formula, and not having a lawyer won't make a huge difference.\n\nIf there is a dispute over custody, the judge will be looking for stability for your child, and if your child is old enough, might ask for his/her opinion.  You will want to gather evidence showing how well the child is doing, such as school records, extracurricular activities, therapy, etc.
406878
Well, you need to talk to an attorney on a consultation and tell him what's up.  Usually consultations are free.\n  Second, today, may states and courts will give joint custody to parents...at the very least.  This is common and what it means is joint physical custody being that you hav ethe child for two weeks, then she has the child for two weeks, or she has the child all day, and when you get off work, you pick up the child and keep her till school and drop her off.  With joint custody, this is where you are to make decisions in the child's medical, school and so forth decisions.\n  In this generation, as long as you can prove you are the child's biological father, the court will grant you visitation at the very least.\n  Usually, if your name is not on the birth certificate, they will order a paternity blood test.\n   She can not keep the child from you and at the very least you should have an attorney petition the court for this visitation immediately.\n   To win custody/ physical custody, where she would have only visitation you would need to prove you are stable, have a good living environment for the child, child care that is sufficient to the child's needs and a good job where you can show you can support your child and yourself.\n   I mean, you are the father, you will be or should be paying some support for the child now, but to have full custody is just a bit different as you need to show stability.  \n   Hopefully you have no criminal record, speeding, and stuff like that, because this could go to character and lets face it , it you get lots of speeding tickets, well I wouldn't want my child in your car.\n   As for the mother, as long as she is taking care of the child and the child isn't harmed, starved, and so forth, it's kind of hard proving up sole custody.  I think go for setting up a fixed visitation, with a fixed support order while requesting joint physical custody.  \n   YOu must love the child very much...and I commend you for wanting to take on the responsibility.  don't let the child be used as it sounds likewhat your ex is doing.  Love her and show the court you love her and can care for her and go for it.  The very least you'll get is visitation........but that's a start.\n   Hopefully what ever money you have given for the child's support is verifyable.  In other words, do not give cash to the ex for the child's support and needs, always give in a check or money order so you can prove up what you have done, at all times..................\nHope this helped, go get an attorney to file and OSC for sole legal and sole physical custody and/or visitation..........good luck
490812
You probably need to be speaking to your lawyer about this. He can guide you in your options and how best you can help your child. You child shouldn't be used as a meal ticket by your ex. That's just wrong.
664085
Oh that wouldnt be the end...First  miss thang...there is DNA test and courts of law...second with youre sparkleing personality I'm sure the hell dished out went both ways third ... how in the hell do you do that to your child it definitely shows that the conflict is your fault sister...but its no problem really he will just take your ass to court and get custody...been there and done that. Talk to my ex she thoght it was cute to give my daughter a different name now I have custody and she pays support. court agreed to a name change. no problem.
47427
I wouldn't think you have much to worry about. I have spent many years in custody court. Usually fighting for child support. First off, depending on the state, usually the courts like to keep children with their mother unless she is really unfit. Second off, he is living with his parents. Shows he has no way the keep himself let alone 4 kids up. If he really wanted the kids, he would have to have a home for them, with enough bedrooms, and beds, and be real active in their lives, school, church, activities, etc.. Then he would have to show the judge why they shouldn't be with you, EX.. you are unfit, never home, alcohol or drug abuse present, and that the children are in iminent danger staying with you. From what you have said sounds like you have the kids best interest at heart. Trust me, judges have seen and heard it all when it comes to just using the custody hearings to upset the mother. Be calm and tell the truth. It does work! Hope this helps you!
430052
Wow, I had one of these guys too...there are so many around it is unfortunate.  In my humble opinion, real people with issues get screwed because of dead beat dad and lying mothers.  There are so many guys that ditch a girl when she gets pregnant that when the court sees a guy who wants to be involved, they don't really care why. It's financial too..they figure if the guys is sending money, the state won't have to.  And so many women lie to get back at the guy, that we have lost our credibility in the courtroom.  I really feel for your situation.  Here is what I did..I spent years and thousands upon thousands of dollars trying to do the right thing through the court, and constantly getting told that I was wrong, etc...it made me crazy.  So, I just threw the door open to the guy..said lets stop fighting, this is ridiculous, neither of us can afford this, etc.  Said, visit whenever you want...and guess what?  Since the ball was in his court, he barely comes around anymore.  I don't know if you wish your children to have a relationship with their father or not...not that I think you wish them to not have a father, but if he is abusive, etc...I don't know what your situation is there, but this worked for me.  Best of luck to you, and hang in there.