My hubby has a low sex drive and i have an enormous one!!?
452813
Sweety, I have had this same problem.  I once told my husband a story about a woman who ate an entire chocolate cake and then someone offered her a piece of cake and she refused because she was so full.  But then one day she hadn't had any cake for weeks and someone offered her a piece and even though it wasn't her favorite flavor she took it anyway because she hadn't had any cake for so long.  My husband seemed to understand that I was talking about getting enough sex or the alternative- cheating (which I would never do but there's no reason not to keep him on his toes, right) and now whenever I think it's been too long, I just tell him I'm really hungry for chocolate cake and he usually gets the point.  Best wishes
1151151
My guess is your hubby has no idea you are this unhappy.  I don't think your hubby misrepresented himself, I think he was trying his best for you to be with him.  Now that you are, he stopped trying.  Time for a serious conversation.  Honey, I am unhappy, I want to work through this but I need some things to change.  Let him know the things he used to do were important to you.  Let him know one of the reasons you were so certain he was right for you was that he did the little loving gestures, and you miss them.  Tell him you need to hugs and kisses during the day, and more of a lead up to sex than "take your clothes off".  Seriously, you can prepare yourself too, read a sexy book before bed time, think about what excites you, buy some toys for you and hubby to use, watch a dirty movie together.  My guess is since you are so unhappy you haven't taken the time to make hubby feel special either.   I think if you pay him more attention, he may do more of the same.  \nNow to be harsh, you are not with a fantasy man, no one is perfect, stop expecting him to be.  I am sure he doesn't think you are perfect either.   You sound very young, try to be more mature. I think you are saying you were rebounding when you met your hubby, that is your fault not his.\nHonestly though, if you work together and communicate,   I think you can make your marriage work.  Stop thinking about what you want but don't have, start thinking of what you have and how to make it better.  Try to be happy and work with what you have.  \nWe all have moments of doubt, that is normal.  But if you love and respect your hubby and he does the same, you can build something wonderful.  Don't look for the easy way out, try to figure out how to fix your problems (a lot of what you said sounds like your issues not his).  His telling you he didn't cheat but came close, is him letting you know he is not happy either, what can you do to make him feel special and wanted?  In a marriage it is not all about you, it is about "us".  \nHope I helped, good luck!
900734
can't blame you for getting frustrated...what you need is a break. meaning...go somewhere else with your husband, take a trip to a new place or a place where you've been to before and had a great time...\nsometimes it takes much more than "holding it" to ignite things... a change of environment once in a while is good for both of you.\ni think your husband feels stressed out, or something is really troubling him and doesnt want to tell you what...but that's another story...\n\nand about your question if its normal for him to not want to have sex, my answer would be yes. My husband is like that..sometimes...esp when he's tired, i realized my energy level is higher than his so i try my best to meet halfway...husbands are lazy when they are tired and sleepy even if as you put it...you are a hottie.\n\nGood luck to you and your hubby...
395443
well one of 3 things could be the source of the problem 1. he doesnt actually care about sex all that much and is just happy being with you 2. feels insecure in bed 3. just might not beable to keep up with or sex drive. just let it lay things will change plus only 4 months in a relationship dont let sex rule the relationship cuz then it will fall apart
652242
I do not think there is any such thing as "normal" in regards to this question. Each couple will have their own desires, their own wants, needs, urges and motivations. Sex is tied to emotions and other factors besides two willing bodies. In other words, it may seem normal for your husband to want sex more often, but if his mind is on work, worries, children, responsibilities etc. He may not be able to perform as well or as eagerly as he would without the stress issues.  There are also medications that can affect one's desire (or lack of desire) so all of these kind of intricacies in your OWN relationship may make what is "normal" very different for each couple. \n\nMy husband and I did not get married until we were older (late 30s for me, early 40s for him), and I must admit that the first two years was a lot hotter than the last 8 have been, but I have had a surgery on my back, and my husband has had some health problems that have had a profound effect on our sex lives. The part that really matters is that we are both happy and satisfied (not only with the sex, but with each other)!  We were friends before we were lovers, and if for some reason one day one of us is no longer able to have sex at all, I don't think either one of us would walk away from the other because of it!\n\nI guess it's a lot more important if you are young, and maybe there are ways that you could approach and talk to your husband if you want to know if HE is happy, and if YOU are not happy...then I think you should try talking this over with your husband (PRIVATELY) before you are tempted to invite others into your bed!  It may be that you could spice things up a bit to make the package more appealing. If you could just offer him a massage and if he relaxes so much that he goes to sleep, then let him sleep. Let him know that you are not doing nice things just for the purpose of seducing him. Maybe try some feminine lingerie, and instead of wearing your fuzzy pink bunny slippers and terry cloth bathrobe, put on something that will remind him that you are all HIS and that he is a very lucky man. :)  \n\nIf you have changed in weight or attitude since you got married maybe he would appreciate your efforts to improve yourself. So if you can be more helpful, less demanding and show him that you really do want him to be more attentive or less attentive (which ever the case)...Perhaps your feelings will seem more important to him. \n\nBefore you feel tempted to cheat or anything like that or if you are suspicious that he is cheating, ask him to go with you to a marriage counselor, or if you both are invested in a church, you may consider asking the Pastor, Priest or Reverend for "couple's counseling".  If you go to counseling, be honest about your feelings, and encourage your husband to open up too. If there are things in your marriage (like sex) that are not satisfying to both of you, then maybe you could find ways to make them more balanced through work and compromise. Sometimes we cannot always have things as we always dreamed they should be. There is NOTHING wrong with sharing those dreams with your spouse, so that both of you can work towards a happier marriage that is mutually gratifying in many many ways!\n\nGood luck, what is "normal" is what works for you and your husband!
1174039
you should have a serious talk with your husband and I may be worng but it sounds like ur a tad bit uncomfortable with your weight also ..try working out...eating healthier..dressing sexier for him...when you get confidence it will show and affect the way others look @ you..especially ur hubby...get 'em gurl!
952684
I understand he might have fears about the baby, but other than that, I'm confused.  My husband actually requests more sex when he's stressed out.  It relaxes him.  I think he's being selfish personally.
469249
Try getting some adult movies,mags, clothes. Surprise him one day when he isnt expecting it with some skimpy lingerie. Just keep it spiced up or changing the routine. I \nalways love my wife to surprise me with things like that.
497250
You need to sit him down and have a talk w/ him find out if he doesn't feel there's enough romance there to have sex. Some men have to have romance just like some women do to have sex. You could ask him about going to see a sex therapist.  Sometimes men just lose their sex drive slightly b/c they already have you and sex just isn't as important b/c when your married other things take the place of sex for some. I wish you all the best of luck. If this doesn't work talk to him about seeing a doctor about whether he's experiening problems w/ his sex drive. If not see about a sex therapist. Good Luck!
596027
He sounds a complete asshole...I'm not surprised you've lost your sex drive.\nDump him,move on,meet a guy who respects and cares for you,your desires will be restored!
1180231
They are saying you don`t matter enough to me to be kind and understanding!There is a possibility your husband is mad about something you don`t even know happened and needs to discuss it with you in a reasonable kind fashion.Also at certain ages some men louse sexual drive,he may be embarrassed and is hiding it with avoidance and anger.I would lean towards keeping a close eye on his activities and try to find out what he is so interested in other than his hot wife.There are some real weird people out there and it is amassing how well they can hide there deviant behavior.An acquaintance of mine, husband,liked little girls and left her alone one to many times and she found out.Here is a good rule for married people,if you can`t show your spouse what you are doing on your computer you most likely should`nt be doing it.Get some help ask a counselor in the mental health dept.of a clinic or hospital. Do it,DO IT NOW!
359011
I too have NO sex life due to a sick hubby right now and wish i was in your shoes on some days.  I guess - how much do you love hubby?  Enough to sacrifice your physical needs?  Could he ever recover and be the man you need?  If no to both, then leave hubby and get you some, girl!!!
333605
It is all related to hormones and being tired from caring for the baby.  Don't worry, the sex drive will return.  If you are real concerned about it, talk to your doctor.
380873
honey,not all men are lazy in bed maybe your man has not got as high a sex drive as you have,and if you mider him all the time this will just put him off,try speaking to him and sorting this out,and lazy in what way???? i think a few times a week is average but everYone is differant.
102452
I think your weight is perfect. \n\nYour husband is not fighting fair.  Explain to him that's not acceptable.  Illustrate this by yelling "small penis!" if he does not listen and does it again.\n\nEdited to add that I am glad my husband (and 1st husband) love my curves- of course there are men out there that do!
285081
Just try to do more things together that dont envolve sex, maybe something will spark and ingnite his passion again. It's not an uncommon thing for guys to not want sex that often. Check out www.psychologytoday.com they have a lot of articles about this topic there. good luck to you!
648549
That is very strange...my husband and I are going through the same thing right now.  We've been married for 11 years  It has been frustrating.  Lack of passion has been the worst I think.  We are however determined to get through this funk.  He is reading a book called "For Men Only" and I am reading the companion book called "For Women Only" it's by the authour Feldman, Shaunti. Another good one is "His Needs, Her Needs" I can't think of the author off the top of my head but it's a good read too.  I hope that helps and I hope that you two will become more passionate and in love because of it.  Best wishes...   :)