my husband is a philandering fool and a liar, and divorce is not an option...?
454645
Call the police. If he has raped you press charges. Just because you are married to some one does not give them the right to force sex on you. And your children will understand when they get older. The guy sounds crazy, you need to protect your family. You really need to talk to the police and see how they can help you. And turn to the Bible for answers as well. You do have scriptuall grounds for divorce and re-marriage. You really need to change your situation. Hope everything gets better for you and you children! I'll pray for you!
792714
Ask him to be direct,and it will hurt alot less now then after you get married,realize it was a mistake and then go thru the pain of divorce,honesty hurts alot less,I promise
398300
I have to say no.  My ex-husband and I tried that but it doesn't work because even if you don't say how you feel it doesn't mean you don't feel that way.  Then it seems like everything is bottled inside and eventually you blow up.  It's a nice idea but not very plausible.  Another thing in marriage is it's not always so hard to forgive it's the forgetting that's the problem.  So, my advice is find another way counseling, talking, or if that's not an option I hate to say but divorce is better than being your spouses "roommate", you can't just stop caring even if you think you can.
877148
Sorry, but the writing is on the wall if you pause to read it: Abandon ship.  Better to accept you've made a mistake now, then try to ignore the rather obvious flaws in your relationship with your guy and get married, only to get a divorce later on.\n\nWhile I am mindful of the fact that only your side of the dispute has been presented here, your boyfriend embarrassing you publicly by ditching you at some sort of gathering, and apparently being un-repentant for that immature display is double trouble.\n\nThe immediate next move is an ultimatum - either treat you with respect, even when you are in disagreement (it is possible to do), or don't let the door slap him in the butt on the way out for the last time. \n\nStand up for yourself.  NEVER, and that means NOT EVER do you allow ANYONE on the face of the earth to demean you.  And even worse, to do so publicly.  That is a cardinal sin in a relationship, and if you can't come to terms with your guy on that issue, you will save yourself much greater grief down the road by dumping the little boy now.\n\nGood luck.\n \nOh, and, if you dump him, keep the rock.......
601971
I am sorry, but that is pretty much the stupidest reason I have ever heard for leaving your husband esp. if you gots kids - you need some serious help...
456531
Unfortunately, I don't think you can stop him.  My wife has bi-polar mood disorder and when she is at her worst she will lie beyond belief.  When confronted she sticks to the story and demands proof.  Even when confronted with the facts and proof she either sticks to her story or tries to twist the facts to fit her situation.\n\nAs I said, I know she has a mental condition and I understand sometimes that affects it.  However, I have found out that very fortuantely we can't do much about liers.  Instead, either learn to live with it, work around it, or move on.
1037209
Yes to both!!!  You definitely should (get help if necessary) make a copy of his profile on a CD-rom or diskette and also copy stuff you can find in his email or Internet history.  This (along with phone records, if applicable) is concrete evidence in divorce court as proof of unfaithfulness.\n~~~\nFeel free to click my avatar/profile and contact me (and include your email if you want me to email you back).  As you can see, I have been helpful to others in the short time I've been on this site.  I cannot imagine your pain, confusion, shock, and humiliation, but I know that you don't have to put up with it, nor do you have to struggle through this trial all by yourself.\n~~~\nCheck out some sites for betrayed spouses, join a local group or organization, or visit a family therapist or marriage counselor.  Any of these sources could help you decide what steps to take for your sanity, happiness, and well-being - and that of your family/kids.
703017
Sister girl!\n\nPerhaps you have forgotten about the time you spent at the alter.  Don't you remember when you professed to the world that you would love, honor, and cherish your husband?\n\nHow do you figure that by hiding $7,000 of YOUR debt and conveniently omitting such important information that you are loving him and honoring him?\n\nSomething inside you implicitly knows that a lie of omission is the exact same as a lie of commission.  Both can cause irreparable harm and erodes the very foundation of relationships.\n\nDeceit, deception, and cover-up are the workings of folly.  And trust me, you don't want to jeopardize your marriage over poor financial decisions and self-serving behavior.\n\nBe real.  Be honest.  Be straightforward.\n\nYou will get over the guilt -- and if you still feel it, try a glass of red wine before you spill the beans.\n\nSo your husband will get mad . . . AND???\n\nHe is gonna have to be A REAL MAN and work with his wife to solve this problem AND MAKE SURE that his wife develops the necessary character traits to avoid a repeat of this in the future!\n\nThis is what marriage is really about.  It ain't utopia.  This 'ish is HARD WORK.  Only for the grown and sexy . . . not for the faint of heart.\n\nGood luck
276969
No, he isn't.  I think it would be in your best interest to look into getting a divorce.  He has basically abandoned you for someone else.  You deserve better than a guy who walks out on you.
403061
Just be honest with him and tell him. Maybe he isn't happy either. And cheating would only make it worse atleast you can say you want a divorce and not because of another man. Honesty is the best policy.
140862
He won't get a divorce because it's easy. THAT'S the excuse he gave you???? HAHAHAHA! Now I've heard everything and I will think about this one when I need a good laugh. Be smart and dump the loser.
496426
try recording him or having others talk to him.. seek out counseling or try to resolve within your household...however until he realizes his problem you cant change it..
397434
Really, cut your ties with this man, he's not a future for you. You continue to see this man and you will continue to get lied to and cheated on too. He doesn't know how to be honest or faithful. To love someone like that isn't really love. Your feelings for this man hon, isn't what you really think it is. I don't know you, but I see that your taking who ever says nice things to you. Shoot, I could feed you with all kinds of nice words, but doesn't mean I really mean it. I wouldn't even give a another second to this man. Let him and her work through their own problems. Take your loss now and bail out sweetie. It's not worth it. Staying on with this guy or telling his wife, what will you gain from it. The satisfaction of telling her. No, wrong! Maybe for a while but later down the road. hhhmmmm Trust in your self and move on. Good luck to you.
320033
eeek! what a monster! Won't take his wife overseas? What kind of husband is that? What kind of vows did he make? What's to like/love about this fool? I won't even suggest marriage counseling bec he's more than just plain ignorant about the hubby-wife relationship - he's cruel.\n\nGet out honey. you deserve better. If it's too expensive for all of you to go, then it's too expensive for him to go.\nNot taking his wife along!?! what a sh*tbag! File for divorce, darling. Kick his dumb A** to the curb!
285761
You first need to address the reason you were willing to settle for his infidelity in the first place. He has had no incentive to stop, so it's very likely that his is continuing to do it. You need to really find out why you are selling yourself short, and I don't often say this, but I agree with the earlier post. You need to have some counseling if only to help you learn to demand more for yourself.
715749
He sounds like a glutton for punishment! I doubt he will listen to anything you have to say, but for your own sanity get it off your chest and let him know what a ridiculous decision this is and that his wife needs therapy, if she refuses to get it and he refuses to make her get it, then there is nothing anyone can do about it.
705102
You know so far everyone basically has said NO. I disagree. First of all it does not matter what his resaon was cause bottom line is its wrong and he knows it. You have a choice to make not necessarily him. Trust is what married people live and die by and it is very hard to regain or earn back. If this is a marriage you mutually think is worth salvaging then unfortunately you're the one that will have to deal with the affair more than him. Be frank and sit down, discuss your future if there is a chance for one. Don't ask for the details, its not worth it because you will be hurt and he will not want to discuss them. Even if this happened yesterday it is still considered the past and we can never change the past. From now on agree to start the trust process over and it will be hard, think about it...if he's late from work what is your 1st thought, phone rings and they hang up what is your 1st thought...exactly. You can think it all you want but some days traffic really is going to be bad, think it just don't accuse him only if you see a pattern then thats fair. Its hard I know cause I've gone through it and after 15 years marriage. You must try hard not to punish him for life or use it as a weapon every time you have an arguement to throw in his face though its so tempting. This is more work on your part.You will know if whatever he had on the outside is worth more to him than what he has at home but you will also know that at least you tried. I always say "You can FORGIVE but you will NEVER forget" Its been 6 yrs for me and I still at times think about it time to time but we are people and we will always make mistakes, the decent ones try to correct them. Remember do not throw it in his face as punishment, if he is sorry and regretful he is dealing with his own internal guilt and that will last him a lifetime. Good luck, been there. email me if you want to talk. Bye