how do i get over being heartbroken?
445539
I wish there were a simple answer to this. It is especially challenging because you have lost your social NETwork of friends and confidants.(*Net, because it'll catch you if you fall.)\n\nIt sounds like your life as you know it already has ended. In a relationship-focussed world anyway.\n\nIf you can, I recommend embracing that and totally starting over. Commemorate the death of your old life by burning keepsakes. (letters, movie stubs, etc.) and then, if you can, ... move.\n\nI know that's durastic, but extreme times call for extreme measures. Unfortunately I get the feeling that you are still in highschool, or just starting college. (*the friends thing tipped me off, I'm not psycic.) Living with your parents or alone in an appartment can make it hard to just pick-up-shop and start a new life in a new place. Challenging, but it can be done. (besides, if it comes to it, symbolic death and re-birth is always better than suicide.) \n\nOh yes, and annother hard thing about this, ... unfortunately as far as I know, the pain never totally leaves. Depending on how you act NOW, will decide whether you are left with a scarred heart or a diseased heart. (*p.s. scar is the better choice.) If you can grasp that frightening concept, that this will always be with you at some level, then it will actually surprizingly be easier to continue your life journey. \n\nIt helps me to think in metaphors. If you have a broken arm, what do you do? you set it. If you broke it playing football, do you just try annother team? ....(*insert laughter) ... nooooo... you take time off and let it heal before thinking of getting back on the field. (i.e. don't listen to that old tale, what do you do when you fall off a horse? get back on? maybe. If you're not badly injured!) (i.e. don't try to forget about it by going girl-crazy. I don't know what possesses people to try that, it seriously would be like pouring salt-water on an open chest wound. .... maybe ...acid instead of salt-water...\n\nI feel sad to read your predicament. Don't let anyone tell you it's not real. It is more real than anything else. It hurts. For me, it's like a black hole in my chest. kinda like a pulling in feeling, like my own heart is trying to forcefully suck the life out of me.\n\nok, so in a nutshell... take some time to mourn. acknowledge all the feelings. (anger, resentment, lonliness, sadness, pain, freedom, etc..) use metaphors if it helps. (poetry is born from times like this!) and then...... Move. Litterally. change your surroundings. Look for some place that you would be comfortable calling home. Do research first. (if you have that luxury...) probably most importantly though, is to start fresh. New faces. New people. New Jobs. New atmospheres. Even just a new lunch spot will help. Be bold. You will be amazed at what courageous new things you are willing to try when the pain is so bad.\n\nGood Luck! You can do it! You are an awesome person! You have the power, now all you need to do is decide where to direct it!\n\np.s. after reading some of the other responses, I have to add, that friends don't grow on trees. And, true friends are TRUE because you put the effort forth to keep them your friends. Friends are very important. Especially good friends. And Good Friends are people who know that friends are important! (i.e. if you are serious about having a strong friend-net, you look for friends that are serious about having a strong friend-net! You can't make a good friend out of someone who doesn't feel the need for serious good friends.)\n\nSome hints on keeping friendships strong: Contact your friend regularly. (regularly= once a day, every day. or once a week, every week. ... as long as it is consistant.) Trust is built this way: I punch the desk. It hurts. The desk is there. I touch the desk. It does not disappear. I walk out of the room. I walk back. The desk is still there. I close my eyes and walk into the desk. OUCH! It&#3
764313
If u just got out of a relationship then that's why your heart broken n u need time to heal.Just like when someone dies u need to morn the same goes for when u r in a relationship.
1124675
How sad .......you lost the very first love you ever had because of someone you trusted ......... someone you had been kind and loyal to. You not only lost your first love, you lost a friend : two deaths.\nI think that it will be hard to resolve your feelings because there is no way to resolve the issue. You can't change the past.. Your relationship was interrupted. In order to heal from this tragic wound, you need to approach it the same way you would a death. You need to go through the stages of grief. There are some good methods outlines at : http://www.elderhope.com/e_class/new_grief/grief_2_2.html\nI am so sorry for your losses. \nI carried the unresolved loss for over thirty years, and then I called my childhood boyfriend (I found his phone number on the internet). I told him what had happened and we talked about it. We talked about our lives and families and things in general. About two weeks after our conversation, I woke up one morning and realized I was no longer thinking about him. I realized how happy I was that we never married. I was thankful my life had taken a different direction.\nI still feel pain about my friend who betrayed me. Her actions caused me to distrust people throughout my life. I wish I had had someone to help me go through the grieving process when I was young. Good luck. There is a different, better ending to your story. One day you will be happy about it because, if your boyfriend had been a purer person, he would not have abandoned you because of gossip.
54083
I think we grieve over relationships that die just as we would for people who die.  There are certain steps you go through before it's resolved emotionally.  Denial, anger, grief and acceptance.\n\nNo matter what someone tells you to do you're going to do certain things at each stage and only realizing the next or final stage will get you over it.  To lessen the emotional pain have a good support group you can call at the drop of a hat to talk to.  Reach out to friends and family for support.\n\nRemember though, don't let yourself dwell on it.  Try to get on with life.  Take up new hobbies, join new clubs/societies.  Do the things you couldn't do because the ex didn't want to do them.  Try to embrace the change instead of fighting it.
76301
Sweetie, you cry.  there are a lot of people out there that think that you should hide your pain, that people will think you are weak for crying or being depressed.  There are people that think that you should get out there and start dating again.  That you should move on.  That you should get over it.  Well, I say, all of that will come in time.\n\nYou have been hurt.  Feel the pain.  Cry about it if you need to.  Laugh about it, scream about it, do whatever you feel like doing.  And don't let anyone else take this time away from you.  You need this time.  If you really let yourself feel the pain, you will heal more completely.  People that hide it, or push it away, or try to distract themselves from it, tend to hurt longer because they never truly embrace it.  \n\nSpend time with family and good friends.  Find hobbies that you really enjoy doing.  Discover who you are and what you liked and didn't like about your last relationship.  Think about what you want out of a relationship, what is important to you?  How do you want to be treated?  And when the times comes that you are ready to get out there and start meeting new people, remember what you decided you wanted, and settle for nothing less.\n\nThis time is all about you.  Your healing, your growing, your learning.  Embrace it.  Enjoy the solitude, and then in time, brush yourself off and get back out there.  \n\nGood luck.  I'm sorry that you are hurting.
850785
You could start by reading the million other posts and responses on how to get over someone.  Most of them will tell you the same thing, the only thing that is going to make you feel better is time.  Forgiving is easy, just do it, forgetting however, is a different story.  You will never forget him or the good and bad times you shared, it's impossible without the assistance of a labotamy (sp*).  So forgive, take all the time necessary and do your best to keep your self respect and move on.
759583
Cry as much as you need too. Reach out to others. Believe you aren't going to die from a broken heart and when you are ready keep your heart open to receiving lots of love and good wishes from others.
470468
Instead of focusing on revenge, try focusing on moving on and healing.  Although it might seem like a good idea at the time, revenge is usually not a great way to get over a broken heart.
1159471
hi... \n  i've had the xperiance like u... i know what it feels like... this is the advise one of my frnds had given.... never think of past mistakes...they cant be changed... each day is a new day.. so whenever u feel sad think of something nice that had happened or just try to divert ur mind  from ur melencholy.. maybe surfing the net or chatting would help... or else jus do ur fav thing or if u like reading read ur fav book.. believe me it works....\nkeep smiling.
236533
1. Don't think about it. \n2. Hang out w/ friends.\n3. Try something you never done before.\n4. Occupy your time.\n5. Cry @ 1st and then get over it.\n6. Move on.\n7. You were too good for him anyway. \n8. Help others.\n9. Focus on you. \n\nJust to name a few...lol. Just try some of these. I hope u start feeling better and remember you will be fine in time. I promise in the future you will look back and say what the hell was I thinking for being w/ him in the first place!
867040
i just answered ur other question and i know what ur going through i have been in love with this guy forever but nothing has happened so im trying to get over him but its hard just distance urself and try to forget let all ur feelings out now the crying or w&#92;e things will get better i promise Good Luck
444797
It depends on many things; how much you loved them, how long you were with them, how much they hurt you, who or what else you have in your life and how often you see them. No-one knows how long it will take, and it does hurt, but know that you will get over it. It's not gonna always feel like this. I'm sorry you are hurting just take everyday as it comes and you will find love again. Take Care   ;-)
719810
Do not listen to his voice. Do not call him. Do not answer or return his calls.  Throw away cards, letters and all things that remind you of him.  Make yourself busy and take meticulous care of yourself.  Give your time to your other friends and family members whom you may have been distant with.  Catch up on some hobbies and volunteer work.  Make appointments for yourself to do the things you enjoy every day in the week. Every night, have someone to talk to who understands what you may be going through. Whenever your thoughts stray toward him, think only about the way he disappointed you and hurt you and remind yourself that you deserve the best. The longer you were with him, the longer it may take for you to get over him.  Nevertheless, you WILL get over him.
592610
First, feel free to really mourn.  Don't wallow in it, of course, but let the feelings run their course.  They begin the healing process.  \n\nSecondly, begin doing things you know you used to enjoy, even if you don't feel like it.  You might not get the same kick out of things at first, but sometimes you have to act like you feel good before you actually do.  \n\nFinally, remember to count your blessings.  Focus on the good things in your life.  There are many more than you may see now, but you'll see more as time goes by.  The more you focus on the positive, the more positive your outlook and your life will become.\n\nGood luck.  We've all been there.
1015084
It is difficult I know.  Been there and done that and its not much fun.  You just have to be patient.  Find someone else to share some time with. Someone out there is worthy of your love and efforts.  Time heals all wounds and this is going to take some time.  In the meantime while your wounds are healing, find a hobby, join a gym, or take a evening class, anything to get you out of your blues.  Mingle with others and find someone else that you like and before long it will be easier for you to think about her and not be upset.  It wont be easy, but you will be ok and you will be a stronger person in the long run from all of this.  Yes a closure would be a nice thing to have but some people dont like confrontations or goodbyes.  Dont beat yourself up over it.  Learn from it and consider it a chapter in your life and start working on a new chapter.  Good Luck!!  And yes, this is normal feelings when you get dumped or something doesnt seem to have ended as it is "suppose to".  Lots of unanswered questions still in your head, rehashing over and over.  Best thing to do is go on with your life and cherish the memories you had and concentrate on making new ones.  Old saying is "when one door closes, another one opens".  Dont be so into your sadness that you miss an opportunity.
668018
good day to you,\n\n I understand what you are facing now. but you have to start first by asking forgiveness to the Lord our God and let him rule your life rather than you rule your own life. everybody had a mistake. but it's up to you to fix it. Try to reach God and feel His love deep into your heart. Talk to Him and it's more easier to overcome your problem by crying out all your pains while praying. His always there beside you and and never leave you all alone. He loved you very much simply because He still let see the brighter color of your life, grab this chance that He gave you. Then one day a big surprise will happen. God already touched your heart so don't let him go again. Pray everyday and let Him lead your life. And if you  do all this things, God will do the rest by healing your family's broken hearted.
652699
Why aren't you over this lover? I wouldn't waste my time thinking of anyone that left me high and dry for another person. You need to work on your self esteem because you are missing a person who obviously didn't care and respect your feelings. Move on. There are plenty of fish in the sea who will stay with you and not abandon you. Pray for someone to love you as much as you love them,  go out with your friends more, talk to someone you trust about your feelings, date people(you don't have to sleep with them) and go out and socialize