my best friend has allowed her daughter to move into her house and now she won't leave, how can I support her?
447634
If the daughter does not pay rent, she can be evicted.  When the daughter leaves the house your friend can have a locksmith come in a rekey all the door locks.  The daughter would have to break in and then the police can be called.
198804
I hope you took the time to warn her about how crazy people are out in the world.  There probably wasn't anything you could have said or done to her to keep her safe at home.  My daughter left when she was 15 and she didn't keep in contact with me except for a couple times a year.  She quit high school in her 2nd year and I couldn't force her to go.  \n\nI sincerely hope your daughter has good friends to help her out there.  If you know her friends that she is with or near, maybe you don't have to worry if they help take care of her.  It's the not knowing that really hurts.\n\nMaybe you could get her a cell phone and keep in contact with her that way.  God Bless you.....)(
215312
NOOOOOOOOO! it is not your obligation. you need to have some tough love with this child! Lay down the rules, and tell her that if she can't live with these rules that she is 20 years old and is free to move out. You are babying her! If you don't help your daughter find confidence in her abilty to take care of herself she may live with you FOREVER!!! or at least rely on you each time she is "down and out"
333959
Depends on your state...Here in Nebraska Legal Majority age is 19. Most states it is 18, but there are special circumstances in most custody agreements that support is necessary through high school. Sounds to me like your daughter needs a swift kick in the pants! It is a very difficult thing to deal with...watching your daughter self-destruct but it sounds like you have no choice. IF she was still living with her father you should be giving him money towards her support...if she is "on her own" in her own apartment, you have no obligation to pay an 18yr olds rent. \n  I would tell her she is on her own...IF she wants to come home and finish High School she can...but if she wants to be a Junkie...she is on her own. She can move into the Dope mans house, get a job, or join the army. All you can do is keep a light on and pray...but you dont have to pay...
548593
Start creating some paper.  Send her a letter informing her that you need access to show the premises.  When she refuses, send her another letter stating that you have requested access to show the premises, as provided in the lease, and that she has refused.  Keep doing this.  After the lease has ended and she has moved out, if you aren't able to re-rent right away then withhold a month's rent from her deposit.  If/when she tries to sue you for it you can show the judge the copies of the letters proving that she was in violation of the lease and prevented you from re-renting the property.
1093678
Man, I know what you mean. Sometimes family can be so annoying cauz you didn't pick them :(\nI think you should try to move out as soon as possible if you're unhappy. And I don't believe it's fair for her to not allow your friend to come over. I mean yeah, it's her house, but she could be much nicer about it. Just because it's her house I don't think that gives her the right to control who your friends are.
579553
You are not taking away your daughter from her dad..He can visit. It isn't healthy for you to stay if you don't love him. Ya can still be friends! good luck!!
726884
Tell her that you both be on your best behaviour and perhaps even suggest that you two mate will prepare supper and/or breakfast for her.  Be honest with whatever promises you make to your mother and perhaps she will allow this to happen more often.  Good luck and I hope you are able to get your way and have your friend spend the night at your house.
809791
talk to her in person, whether or not it's awkward or emotionally filled. \n\nyou were best friends for a reason... moving in together sometimes strains those relationships, but it shouldn't be the end of the friendship. \n\nshe is worth it, so are you. so try to reach out to her this way. if her heart softens, great. if not, at least you tried and you should keep the invitation of friendship open for her to give her some time to mull on it. once you've done everything you could to make things right, you will be able to walk away knowing you did what you could.\n\ntell her you are sorry of what happened between you two, you care about her and love her, and in order for you two have any friendship to salvage- you both need to live separately. it'll take a while, and things may never be exactly the same (and you definitely don't have to have her as a BEST friend, especially if you have lost trust in her), but time WILL heal things. It will be awkward/difficult to do, but it has the best possible outcome. good luck and God bless
92085
She proved to you that she did not love you when you were away. Your best friend also proved that he could not be trusted. You know once you take her back and if you move in together that you are also responsible for the raising of the child. In my opinion you would be better off to find someone else for you. She has already screwed around on you once and by being with her you will feel that evry day when seeing their baby.
245086
Let her go.  She will come back.  I went through this with my daughter for the same reason yours want to leave.  It didn't take her long to figure out it wasn't so bad at home afterall.  I didn't rant and rave just let her go.  She found out for herself just what kind of dad she has and I didn't have to say a thing.  Kept our relationship on an even keel.
653243
The ONLY thing for certain in life, is CHANGE. None of us like it, and some like it less than others, but it is inevitable. Your friend is obviously going through a big change right now, and parts of it , she doesn't even like herself. In order to support her, you must let her do what she needs to do. Don't argue with her, or try to make her stop the change, just love her in spite of the change. It's not easy, but necessary. There will come a time when she will need you really bad, and you have to be there for her. In order to cope with this, you have to develop some interests of your own, outside her.  Go out with other friends, do some things you always wanted to do, and just be patient with her. Good Luck!
329308
It is called co-dependency.  They have to break the cycle.  In order for this to happen, they sometimes need professional help.  \n\nYou might have to get "tough" with your friend.  I know someone that had a much younger sister.  The older daughter lived on her own.  The Mom of the girls had an abusive boyfriend.  The older daughter helped the mother get away from the boyfriend.  The Mom called the boyfriend and had him pick her up.  As a result, the older daughter went and filed for custody of her sister.  The boyfriend ended up killing the mother.  \n\nI hope this doesn't happen to your friend.  She has to want to leave him and move on.  See if you can get her into counseling.  You might contact your local Women's shelter and explain what is going on with your friend.  They should be able to give you some resources.  Good luck!
344064
As long as she (the daughter) doesn't have residency established at that house then she has no right to be there. If the mother did tell the police that she was not allowed there then she needs to call them and let them know that she threatened to come over. She would then be considered trespassing. If she takes anything from the house it would be burglary. Even if the items belong to the daughter the mother doesn't have to give the items to her. There are so many things the daughter can get in trouble for legally if she steps even one foot on that property. The best thing to do would have the mother talk with the police again and explain that the situation is getting worse. There are always options and the local police can explain in better detail.
968761
Seems like she is making some bad decisons Mom!  But you are allowing them and at the same time trying to restrict them!  You can't do both.  Hard mission as her Mother.\n\nAdvice:  She has made the transition from needy child to adult situations.  BUT, she is now back in YOUR home?  You can instill a curfew regardless of her age out of respect to the peace of mind in your own home.  Demand that she respect that!  Stick to it, or she should locate her own level of permission by moving out or the boyfriend needs to allow her to move in with HIM!  And he probally won't (let's hope) I don't agree with the 28 year old Father of 3 dating an 18 year old at all. \n\nYou absolutely can NOT balance what you want for your daughter and what she wants for herself.  Requiring a time frame for her to be home is different from when she was strickly under your wing.  \n\nThe rules change when she becomes a house quest, self sufficent and reliable to her word.    Sit her down, talk to her, explain your thoughts and concerns.  Give her the ground rules for returning home.  Give her a time frame for making her way back out of her parents home.  6 months should be sufficent.\n\nShe lies due to her feeling like an adult, but still answering to Mom.  Tell her she is an adult, but living with Mom, thus she does have certain obligations toward the family.\n\nI understand your anger Mom.  Give allowances, take no acceptions.
1183545
TELL YOUR BESTFRIEND TO GET A LIFE.. AND GET HER OWN BOY..  DON'T TOUCH WHAT'S NOT BELONG TO HER.. \nYOU CAN GET ANOTHER BEST FRIEND.
514128
sorry to hear that I will keep you and your family in my prayers she needs to go to a shelter to get assistance they cant turn her or the kids away and she has to start over and she also has to learn from her consequences there she will be assigned with a counselor/social worker who will help your daughter with the children she probably would get better assistance from the shelter than through a tv show