What is your advice to a woman who is 45 years old and living with her parents, and she is afraid to tell them
443367
Honey if they are rich....make up a story about how you met him if they are going to freak over the "meeting him on the internet" issue.....you don't want to be cut out of the will now!!!!! :)  Good luck!!!!
362953
My mom has congestive heart failure. My daughter and I had to move in to take care of her. Now I'm a 37 year-old single dad who lives with his mommy. And believe me, for a while she thought she had me under her thumb.\n\nThere's certain things your parents CAN tell you to do. No drugs in the house, don't burn the house down, don't kick the dog, and don't pee on the carpet are among them. Or did I get that backwards? Don't kick the carpet or pee on the dog? Well, you get the picture.\n\nThere's also certain things they can't tell you. Like who to date. But, don't say **** what they say, either. Be calm, but don't back down. If you stay calm, they know you are in control. No reason to get mad, it's not up to them. They can whine, cry and shout all they want. They know it's not their decision. And try not to keep secrets. If you have no secrets, there's nothing to be ashamed of.
498766
well you need to understand your parents first.they are scared of you getting hurt outside of your parents sight.make them know and think you are an adult.come home early from parties.make your outings short from friends.work hard at school if your schooling.plus get a job while you in college.save money to get a car for your self.and stick with your parents for another 5years by keep on saving money so that way you can buy a nice small house of your own..that way your parents wont worry about you so much.cuz they seen how you respect your self and securing your self on money wise...transportation and fianancial needs is the key to survive..so no matter how far are you from your parents..they know that you can manage your survival needs...show them that your a mature woman not a teenager girlie girl anymore...good luck independent beauty queen
822558
Honey, I have been there.  I had a 7 pm curfew on weekends when I was 17 years old.  Tell your parents to trust you and if you do anything wrong, then they can take all rights away again.  You can't do no wrong until you try something.  Tell them that you are a levelheaded  responsible 16 year old and that you would like to win their trust, but you won't be able to if they keep you hidden and secluded.  Tell them you will grow up and move away.  Tell them that you will live a sheltered life and it is not good for your health.  Tell them your true feelings and make them listen.  I feel so bad for you because I was there.  Then I turned 17 and moved away from home, had my own apartment while I was a senior.  I had a full time job, gymnastics practice and school.  I did just fine and it taught me how to be mature.  I am not telling you to take off, but I am telling you to talk to  your parents because they may not understand your TRUE feelings and how you want to hurt yourself.  Just think, you will be 18 in a little bit and you will be able to begin your life the way you want and be your own boss.  Don't hurt yourself, because in all honest, it is not worth it.  Talk to the parent you are closer too!  I feel for you, I have been there.  Then I moved to FL.  I moved away so my family would realize what I meant to them and that they didn't have a hold on me.  It doesn't work for anyone, so don't runaway or anything.  I did this all as an adult okay? Let us know how it goes because I am genuinely worried about you!  Good luck!
970590
Oh I struggle with this constantly but for different reasons. My parents are addicts. There comes a time in life when you must concentarte on you. If those around you, particularily family have reached toxic levels where they are poisoning your own life, it's best to back off and distant yourself. I would not write them off entirely, I've thought about doing it myself, but it all comes back to they are family and we cannot choose our family and like them or not, through them we are here. I don't know how old you are, but if you are younger I would suggest possibly just distancing yourself and speaking up with the issues you disagree with and make certain they know that it hurts your feelings and do not entertain their ignorant remarks and actions by giving any other reaction other than telling them that at this point and time you do not agree with their opinions. If you are young, there could be possibly something else going on that they are actually concerned about that you aren't seeing just yet. However if it's purely based on race, I'd keep my feet planted in your beliefs and hopefully with time after you stay away from them for awhile they'll realize their love for you is stronger than their hate for another.  I wouldn't give your father any special treatment either, because he is encouraging everyone around him by not speaking up if he truly is aware of their issues and agrees with you. Sounds to me like your father may be ignorant as well, and only agrees with you in private for fear of losing his little girl. All you can do is stand strong in your beliefs, distance yourself from how involved with them you are, but I wouldn't write them out entirely. Now if they begin to do anything harmful that causes extreme physical or emotional grief then I would cut them off entirely. Hopefully with time though and your distance from each other they'll see that they were wrong and have second thoughts on their ideas and opinions, especially if the man you love becomes a true gem and treats you the way they always hoped a man you'd find would. Good luck though, racism is ugly and deeply rooted in those who are and often continues on in people out of their own fears. Just be thankful that somehow by the grace of God their ignorance didn't rub off on you as you were growing up, as if often sadly the case with those raised by parents with beliefs such as that. Enjoy the love you have found and ignore what they say. Find comfort with the one you love and through his family until and if yours ever comes around to their senses! God Bless you dear. Oh and pray for them because it sounds like they need it!!
1108219
she will find out eventually, moms know everything. i would either tell her, or quit. but you shouldnt hide stuff from your parents -- if they catch you, theyll never trust you in the future. so be honest, even if it means youll have to quit.\n\nfamily is more important :)
1072617
This is quite normal.  It is growing up  and I guess you are around 12-14 yrs?\n\nTwo issues\n\nOne is explaining you need your own space and privacy.  Your folks will not know you have reached this stage in your life unless you tell them.\n\nSecond is practical.  If you have your own room,  well explain you need a lock on the door..............and if that happens respect the space/trust you are given.\n\nIf you do not have your own room,  then discuss futher options.\n\nFinally,  that is what brothers and sisters are for......to drive you up the wall!  But you love them really,,,,,,,,,,,,,,!
944651
Explain to your Mom what your feelings are.  If she does not understand, just do not answer her phone calls or answer the door if she comes to visit you. \n\nYou are an adult now and have a right to set boundaries with anyone including your parents.
168958
I say let'er rip all at once, like a bandaid, quick!  My ex-girlfriend didn't come out to her parents till she was 33 and told her about the girlfriend at the same time.  Worked out ok for her.  Good Luck!
578216
OOps sorry let me edit this..\n\nMost important question is - are they LEGALLY your gaurdian?  It sounds like this might be your sister.. or maybe a young aunt.\n\nWhat state are you in?  How old are you?  It depends on how your caregiver will react.  I did the same thing when I was 17 and my parents freaked and were able to take me back.  I spent a few days in Juvi.. but other than that nothing terrible will happen.  If you are 17, I suggest talking to your parents about this and seeing if they would let you.  Does your friends family want you to move there?  Have them talk to your caregiver.  If you are any younger, either wait or have the family talk to your caregiver..  I totally understand where you are coming from, sometimes your home can just be toxic, especially if your parents are going through a divorce, or some issues of their own.. I've been moved out for 2 years now, and even when I come to visit, it just sucks my soul dry.. Some people and places are just so bad for you.  Talk to them .. really.  OR just go ahead and do it, but know this - they will be able to find you - and they will force you to come back - BUT after that happens, they will be open for dialog with you - you will be able to tell them how damaging their home is to you - and they will be able to take you seriously.. This is what happened to me- They never listened until after I ran away.. Then they let me finish my high school degree online and let me move out when I needed to.\n\nTo help you any further, I would need to know your age and your state.\n\nAnd like the other person mentioned, if you are working and making some of your own money, you might be able to get emancipated. \n\nChoices Other Than Emancipation\n\nEmancipation is only one of several alternatives available to you if you feel you cannot live with your caregiver.  You may want to consider other options such as:\n\nfamily counseling or mediation service between you and your parents; \nliving with another responsible adult (aunt, uncle, grandparent, or family friend); \nseeking assistance from public and private agencies; \nan informal agreement with your caregiver allowing you to live outside your home. \n\n\nMy final advice to you is this - family counseling - if nothing else works - this will.  The other person there can help you communicate effectively with your caregiver - and don't assume they will only be on your caregivers side either.  Present your case to them, and unless you have no reason for wanting to move out, they will support you and help you work out a solution with your family..\n\nGood luck, ok?  Feel free to personally email me if you need any personal or legal advice..  Bj_Osterhout@yahoo.com
727791
DON'T YOU JUST HATE WHEN PARENTS USE THAT LINE LOL......\nmy mother and father were the same when i was living with them they would both say that to me and i was like shut up let me learn things for myself but they would still put in what they thought.... even if i didn't want to hear it. I'm 20 and now living out of home and they don't interfere don't get me wrong if you are still at home i'm not telling you to move out cause it's not easy belive me, but you really need to put your foot down. i belive at the age of 20 you are old enough to make your own decsions whatever they may be wheatehr they like it or not. parents always worry and try to take control i think it's just in them lol. you have to tell him that he would have once had to learn for himself and now it's your turn and it's time for him to let you grow into being a good man, tell him that you were raised to do the right thing and he sould trust you.\ntalk to him mate\ngood luck and i hope your dad realises that you are old enough to make your own choices \nmel
635928
Man what a tough choice to make at your age,hell that's tough at any age! Have you thought about moving your parents to Cali with you? Maybe to an assisted living facility close to you so you can be there for them and pursue your dreams. You sound very mature and well put together for a 23 year old and I would hate to see you miss out on great opportunities and the woman you love so much,both are hard to come by. Do you have any other family that could help with you parents? I'm very close with my parents and I can see how hard of a decision this can be.\n \nGood Luck
1162113
look..because i think i'm the only person here who actually knows the big picture, i will give u my advice, as a friend of both of u and as a person who has lived that kind of parental discrimination:\n\nif u r talking about maryam, don't worry about it just now, coz u two r like 5000miles apart at the moment. her folks can't do anything to stop her sending emails and chatting with u. u guys can just carry on as u did b4 and by the time u guys unite u will both be adults (theoretically when someone turns 18 they r considered an adult)... anyway... yeah. until then, her parents won't have any say in the matter. u can do whatever u want. plus u will be mature enough to confront them. u can meet them and show them what a greast person u are and how much u lover their daughter. parents can rarely say no to true love. they r probably just afraid at the moment because they haven't seen u and they see things on the news about asian/eastern races that they r afraid beause of the war. u know? just stake it out until u can actually do somethign about it.\n\nthen again, if u r not taling about maryam, then i am confused AND i need more details to answer this question. so email me.
764373
She needs to come out to them without you there.\n\nHer sexual orientation is not about you.\n\nIf she comes out with you sitting beside her you become the "dark witchy" woman who "turned their daughter gay".\n\nI think you'll all be much better off if she tells her parents separately and once they have had a little time to digest they can start getting to getting adjusted to you in relationship to their new understanding of their daughter.
827405
First off, are your parents living in the dark ages...\nGo and do what you want [Not what they want] go see your boyfriend and his family..\nTell your mom in a nice way NO I am going to visit with my boyfriend and his family and that is final. \nYou are 20, you tell them what your plans are and go for it..They have no hold on you anymore...\nSome parents just don't want to let go, but now is a good time to stand up for yourself....
374084
If you have an adult close to you, that you trust, you need to confide in this person.  Or perhaps an older sibling, a teacher, a school counselor.  Anyone that you feel you can talk to...and they can speak with your parents. Sounds as tho your parents are under some very strong stress for some unknown reason. Beacuse neither one of them should be treating you, like you say they are.
547262
You have great character. You should be telling your mother everything at this age. Your mom has great influence on you. Now once you are married tell your mother NOTHING!\n\nKeep your dignity and respect, you are on the right track and your mother is doing a great job with you. Tell her how much you love her!