I am 36, my wife is 29, married for 8 years, a kid of 5 years. What should be our Ideal Sex Frequency?
440120
Whatever is good for you. There is no "normal" for this. Some people have a higher desire and may have relations twice a day. Others may have a lower desire and have relations once a month. On average, the typical married couple has relations about three or four times a month. Often, they are too tired during the week and typically use Saturday evening for this activity. But again, it depends on you and your wife. If you have the desire for more or less often, then that is entirely up to you.\n\nAnd congratulations on having such an excellent relationship. I have friends from India who say their marriages were arranged between the families, and they get along wonderfully because everyone is involved in the success of the marriage.
652242
I do not think there is any such thing as "normal" in regards to this question. Each couple will have their own desires, their own wants, needs, urges and motivations. Sex is tied to emotions and other factors besides two willing bodies. In other words, it may seem normal for your husband to want sex more often, but if his mind is on work, worries, children, responsibilities etc. He may not be able to perform as well or as eagerly as he would without the stress issues.  There are also medications that can affect one's desire (or lack of desire) so all of these kind of intricacies in your OWN relationship may make what is "normal" very different for each couple. \n\nMy husband and I did not get married until we were older (late 30s for me, early 40s for him), and I must admit that the first two years was a lot hotter than the last 8 have been, but I have had a surgery on my back, and my husband has had some health problems that have had a profound effect on our sex lives. The part that really matters is that we are both happy and satisfied (not only with the sex, but with each other)!  We were friends before we were lovers, and if for some reason one day one of us is no longer able to have sex at all, I don't think either one of us would walk away from the other because of it!\n\nI guess it's a lot more important if you are young, and maybe there are ways that you could approach and talk to your husband if you want to know if HE is happy, and if YOU are not happy...then I think you should try talking this over with your husband (PRIVATELY) before you are tempted to invite others into your bed!  It may be that you could spice things up a bit to make the package more appealing. If you could just offer him a massage and if he relaxes so much that he goes to sleep, then let him sleep. Let him know that you are not doing nice things just for the purpose of seducing him. Maybe try some feminine lingerie, and instead of wearing your fuzzy pink bunny slippers and terry cloth bathrobe, put on something that will remind him that you are all HIS and that he is a very lucky man. :)  \n\nIf you have changed in weight or attitude since you got married maybe he would appreciate your efforts to improve yourself. So if you can be more helpful, less demanding and show him that you really do want him to be more attentive or less attentive (which ever the case)...Perhaps your feelings will seem more important to him. \n\nBefore you feel tempted to cheat or anything like that or if you are suspicious that he is cheating, ask him to go with you to a marriage counselor, or if you both are invested in a church, you may consider asking the Pastor, Priest or Reverend for "couple's counseling".  If you go to counseling, be honest about your feelings, and encourage your husband to open up too. If there are things in your marriage (like sex) that are not satisfying to both of you, then maybe you could find ways to make them more balanced through work and compromise. Sometimes we cannot always have things as we always dreamed they should be. There is NOTHING wrong with sharing those dreams with your spouse, so that both of you can work towards a happier marriage that is mutually gratifying in many many ways!\n\nGood luck, what is "normal" is what works for you and your husband!
795225
There is no normal amount of sex per person or couples.  Everyone is different.   Sex is a very important part of marriage and those who think not are those that end in divorce or unhappy.   I have been married for 22 years and our sex life has increased if anything.   We cant keep our hands off each other.  We play head games and flirt all the time.  By the time we are alone we are all over each other.   As my wife says sex is 24 hours a day.  Phone calls, emails text messages and flirting  never stops.   \n\nStart flirting with your husband, Grab his butt when he goes by and just smile.  When you walk by him rub up against him slow and sexually.  Just smile.   Give him a kiss for no other reason than because you want to.   Say something about wanting him to yourself really bad.\n\nIf you want a sex life then you both need to live it.   Do your part and I am sure he will start doing the same.
781091
Excellent question. And to all the doubting ladies in the answers above, this husband gets his wife surprise flowers. Splits the chores at least 50-50 (ha - she doesn't do any yardwork, but I do about a fourth of the laundry, more than half the cooking, and at least half the cleaning). I tell her how beautiful and sexy she is (and she *is*!) Spend time talking to her (when our 3 kids aren't in the way!) and basically everything everyone says I should be doing. We've talked about our sexual desires and it's quite clear that my sexual satisfaction is last on her list of priorities. What she considers good sex is merely adequate "duty" sex to me. I won't complain too much, but it seems like I'm "owed" more than 10 minutes of sex once a week... Not contemplating an affair, but can totally understand where this guy's question is coming from.
1099053
I masturbate from 7 to 10 times a week. But I always use my wife's hand to do it with. ;-]
959267
Yes, something is wrong.  It doesn't matter how often you actually have sex- every day, every week, every month- as long as both of you feel contented. You are unhappy enough about it to be asking this question, so something is going on that isn't quite right.\n\nI've been in a low sex marriage (sex less than once a month, sometimes no sex for six months + at a time) for years and years and believe me, it isn't going to get better over time.  You'll end up being the "pursuer" sexually and emotionally, as I am with my husband.  Seek outside assistance now, while your relationship is still fresh enough for you both to invest in addressing this issue.  Otherwise you'll end up like me- wondering if you chose the wrong mate, wondering if it's still possible to fix it, wondering if platonic friendship is going to be enough for the next 40 years.
1138896
I would pick QUALITY over QUANTITY anyday!!! But since you asked about quantity, it varies from week to week depending on what life decides to throw at us. WE have been married for 5 years and have 7 kids. We average 3-4 times a week...some weeks its everyday..and some weeks its once.
818179
Three is nothing wrong with a little kinky foreplay.  I do what my husband asks, and he likewise, to keep our marriage exciting.  I think you should tell your wife, ask her to play along with you - what have you got to lose?  If she loves you, she wants you to be happy in bed.  Thats the key to keeping yourself from asking the question  "SHould I cheat on my wife?"
24155
usually a week..hubby had 1   and let me say if your going for this... it inproved our sex life 100%  staying power stamina... wow out of this world.. A week is woth was is to come....
398973
Buy a house.\nMy wife's hobby is doing things around the house she can do and making lists of things we need to take care of she isn't capable of alone. Mine is executing those jobs on the list only I can do. In our free time we tackle jobs from the list we both are capable of. We also spend a lot of time in the bedroom. Actually, now that the kids are grown and gone, ANY room we feel like...\n\nBut then, we might be considered wierd. After 30 years of marrige we still find each other incredibly sexy. We like spending time together and have our "causes" we support. Both of us are passionate about children's rights. We have been foster parents for 17 years and are on about every child care panel in existence.  We also teach parenting and alternative discipline classes together for our state's Dept. of H&W and I am on various boards and am the governor's appointment to our state's Children's Trust Board from our district.\n\nAnd, oh yes. In my spare time I also am writing my second book. And am public relations director for my Shrine Center. (you know, we support the free hospitals for kids)\n\nAnd when we're home, in the evenings we sit out on our deck in the spa and sip wine or tea or maybe hot chocolate with cinnamon schnapps. Yes, naked...
371504
I've read a few articles and they say 2-3 times a week is about normal.  It depends on your busy schedules as well.  A lot of couples are lucky to get 1 in a week.
44129
it depends on your relationship, and how long you've been married.  i know people who have been married forever and still do it everyday.  then there are some people who sleep in different rooms, so there is really no answer.  it depends on how much you are willing to sacrifice in order to keep sex interesting and satisfying for both of you.
897415
Sex=Make love @ 25 after I was married.
1034694
my husband and i make love almost everynight, at least 5 times a week. thats good enough for me.
916100
Actually, that first answer is wrong.  When I was trying to get pregnant, my DOCTORS told me that if I REALLY wanted to get pregnant I would only have sex 1 to two times a day, if even that much.  They recomended 1-2 times a WEEK.  They said more sex screws up somethin... lol i dont know WHAT, but thats what they said.\n\nhttp://www.babycenter.com/search/?BodyQuery=Signs+of+Fertility&x=0&y=0\nhttp://www.babyhopes.com/articles/naturalfertilitysigns.html
211636
I like 25. Although I got married a little earlier (6 years ago) I think that 25 lets you enjoy your youth but you're not too old to enjoy some of it with a partner. You can finish uni but you can still wait a little while before having kids. The percentage of birth problems goes up after 30 so I figure that gives you five years together to build a life, travel together etc... and then you can have kids. If you don't want kids then I guess it doesn't matter so much.
504752
me and my husband have been together for 15 years married for 14 and we have sex at least 2-3 times a week and it is still hot if not hotter now then it was when we first got married