does anyone have any suggestions on how to get over the stillbirth of your first child?
442984
Nothing can change the past. We all must leave things behind or they will consume us. So what are you waiting for. If you want a child give it life.
52335
8 month olds can be a real challenge. I wouldn't do it unless you had some help first from an experience parent.
959907
Wow, that's a question I could never finish answering, so in short I'm just thankful that me and my family are alive and healthy, I am so sorry to hear of your loss, man that's alot to cope with, but just know that only God give life and only God can take it away, and you may never know why God chose to take his daughter back to be with him, just have a lit peace knowing that she's in a better place, with her heavenly father, looking down smiling at you. And know that God want put no more on you then you are able to bare, and although that was a terrible tragedy and no doubt you will always have so many different feelings running that's associated with your daughters death, but it's almost been a year now, no doubt a very long, hurting agonizing, and painful one, but your getting through it and that's all you can do, and God knew, tho hard...He knew you would make it so stay strong, hold on, and keep your head up, cause that's where she's at, and know that she'll always be in your heart, mind and spirit, her body has just taken on another form, she's an angel now and her spirit will still be with you through these holidays and the many more to come, and tell your youngest daughter congratulations and her sister will not miss the birth of her baby, she'll be watching and smiling at a higher location, you'll have a happy holiday and remember when the pain of your lost, hits you the most that's when God is watching to pull you through, I applaud you as well as many others that make it through such traggedy's, maybe at times you don't feel so strong, but remember you are and looking back... you've made it this far....LOL to you and your family.
439568
try asking if she needs anything for the baby or send a small card or present,that might get you talking.  I split up from my husband when i was pregnant, it was hard but my little boy knows no different and is bright and happy,  it was hard to let go of the fantsy of a perfect , happy family but what's that these days.  try not to worry, she will need help when the baby comes and will likely turn to you, chin up
942761
I am sorry,  my grandmother has lost her will to live after my father died three years ago, I do not believe you will ever get over it, I think you may be able to one day accept your child died,  but you will always grieve and feel your loss, I am not sure the goal is too get over it, I was devastated when my father died and I know this cannot compare honestly if my children died, I would probably semi lose my mind at least temporarily. and I know I would become a humanitarian worker on the international scene for human rights watch or red cross, in the thick of things. and I would have a very nomadic lifestyle, however I still  feel the hole that was ripped open in my soul the day my father died, I do not believe it will ever go away, church made me feel worse. the funeral was horrible .I told the priest he was full of it ,and so was his religion ,which offered no comfort .and I informed him  that my father detested religion,I can relate to not wanting to hear the empty god comments. what surprisingly helped me , was a support group for grief victims ,people who had the same or similar experiences .I would have never  joined a group like this, but it was a service offered ,because I donated his organs.and amazingly just the pamphlets generated from the group touched me and helped ease my grief, I know it sounds like it will do no good, but It is truly worth a try, for you to get in touch with other parents who lost their children, I know I saw a persons 360 page on yahoo ,the mans child died and the support from the online community was amazing .I am not sure this will help you as much as a real group ,but not feeling alone in your anger is crucial to feeling better, it is most difficult to hold on to yourself or soul ,if you believe in that, when you are filled with misery ,it is so much harder to love yourself,life, or anything than it is to hate .and making that human connection with others that can truly understand you rather than dismissively wish you well or try to say something they think you want to hear, is the first step in regaining the feeling of control and a new perspective , I also encourage you to visit my 360 page and dont read it ,cause I am bad and while I try to remain positive, I do tend to gravitate to the darkside at times, but go to my friends list  find Skyes avatar click on it and visit skyes page, this beautiful woman is a well of positivity, and spiritual well being .and just reading her blogs make me feel better and I am sure they can touch your heart as well
1179947
I had a similar situation. I had my first child when i was 21, and i wanted another, well I tried and tried , then when i was 29 I had my second. just relax it will happen. God Bless and good luck!
955373
Yes, I think everyone does at some point in their lives. I see you have posted this question several times so I know you are in a really bad place right now.\n\n  I'm very sorry to hear of the tragic loss of your daughter. I can relate to you so well because I have lost two of my own children, a daughter and son both. My daughter was stillborn in 2002 and my son was premature in 2003, he lived for 2 days with the help of machines but died in my arms after they convinced me to unhook the machines. For me, it's the guilt that is eating me alive. What if I had gone to a different doctor? Why didnt I take it easier during the pregnancies? Why in the h*ll did I let them convince me to unhook the machines??!....  I have not been the same since, nothing seems to matter or worth any effort on my part.  You arent really "living",  you're just "existing", right? \n\n  I have found that it helps to talk about it, even if that only means writing out your feelings where no one will ever see it unless you want them to. I have found several support groups for bereved parents online that allow you to post stories, picture, even chat with others about what you're going through; that has helped a lot.No one should have to endure losing their child, that just isnt the way its suppose to be. I wish you the best and if you ever need to talk please know that I am here! Take care of yourself and remember that your daughter is watching over you. I love you too.
608690
I don't understand your question but if you have lost a grown child there is no real coping mechanism. When I lost my son I just determined to hold his memory in my heart and to share it with others. This way you in effect keep the loved one alive in the minds of others. If you are getting through day to day and allowing yourself to go on with life as the loved one would have wished you to then you are coping. I am sympathetic with you and with time you will get better at coping but it will always cause some pain, at least that's the way it is with me and I lost my son 15 years ago. I have watched his children grow and I admit that I took some solace in that.  I just looked at your site and see that you and I are the same age and that you have a grand daughter from the little that you say in your profile I think that you are doing real well. God bless
606587
Well since that happened to me a yr ago, I suggest that u tell him that it's over and that u want him to be part of the baby's life. In my situation her and me have an understanding where I get to have him for 2 weeks out of the month and so does she. She just came out and told me, I wasn't so happy about it but I got use to it and realized that she really wanted it to be over. Anyways if U need some more advice on this e-mail at elguapo_v12@yahoo.com Well good luck and remember just sit down with him and tell him what u really feel...
289533
HAVE YOU TRIED TELLING HIM HOW YOU FEEL!? LETTING GO IS NEVER EASY ESPECIALLY WHEN YOUR AROUND ONE ANOTHER ALL THE TIME!! BUT, AS A WISE PERSON ONCE SAID, "WHAT DOESN'T KILL US WILL MAKE US STRONGER" AN I BELIEVE THIS TO BE TRUE! I THINK YOU OUGHT TO STOP SEEING EACH OTHER ALL TOGETHER UNTIL THE BABY IS BORN(SURE LET HIM COME TO DR. APPT. AN STUFF) BUT AS FAR AS SEEING ONE ANOTHER DON'T DO IT! THIS WAY IT WILL GIVE YOU THE TIME YOU NEED TO GET OVER HIM AN HE CAN STILL BE INVOLVED IN THE BABIES LIFE!!! AN THEN AFTER THE BABY IS BORN AN IF YOU STILL FEEL THE NEED TO BE AWAY FROM HIM THEN TELL HIM! THERE ARE MANY WAYS OF PARENTS RAISING THEIR CHILDREN WITHOUT HAVING TO BE AROUND ONE ANOTHER! I KNOW THIS CAN'T BE EASY FOR YOU(BEING PREGNANT) AN ALL!! BUT, I WISH YA THE BEST AN HOPE THAT MY ADVICE CAN BE SOME HELP TO YOU! IF YA WANT YOU CAN EMAIL ME AN I'LL TRY TO HELP ANYWAY I CAN!!!\n\n\nBEST OF LUCK!!!
898840
Congrats!\nmake sure you stay away from junk food. take the baby out for a walk everyday (provided its not raining or freezing). if you run, you can get a stroller especially for that. also, you can use the baby as a weight.to work on your arms.
277861
I am so sorry that you are mourning the loss of your loved ones.  Although I have never experienced the death of a descendant, I have seen how much grief death can cause.\n\nIt seems like you are already doing one very good thing that can help you a lot: prayer.  As you continue to pray, God can speak peace to your heart.  I have also found that reading scriptures is a good way to invite the presence of the Holy Ghost into my life.  Whenever you participate in something that is true, He will testify of its truth, and His presence can give you comfort because He is a Comforter.\n\nAlso, you can learn a few doctrines that can be especially comforting in times like this.  Our Heavenly Father has made it possible for our families to be together forever.  Death does not need to be the end of our family relationships if we don't want it to be.  It is possible for you to be joined to members of your family in a way that you can continue to enjoy your relationships forever.  To learn more about this, I encourage you to speak to a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
243329
Please know that you are in my morning prayers.  I know your pain over your losses seem unbearable, but remember that He is holding you up, and even when you don't feel Him, that is when He is closest!  It took someone else's pain to remind of that this morning and I hope and pray as you grieve your loss that you can keep that thought in your mind.  It was explained to me that we have at least forty thousand thoughts a day, and that if you can keep those thoughts positive, your body and emotion will respond.  What a man thinks in his heart, so is he, right?\n\nMay God help you thru this time, may you keep your eyes toward heaven, may God use your grandchild to bless you for years to come, and may He help you raise her in grace and gratefulness for the opportunity to serve your daughter's memory.  Father, please enable a good report from the Drs to encourage this sister in the Lord thru her trials.  May she see many blessings thru her call for prayer, strentgthen her faith and trust in You as she walks the same path we all must take for your names sake. Amen.
463891
I lost my daughter and it was the single most devestating thing in my life. She was 13. It has only been alittle over 2 years yet in many ways it still feels like yesterday. Many people think that if they talk about death and dying that it might happen to them. We seem to go about life not thinking about death, until that is it knowcks on your door. I have decided that when it first happens you don't know how to deal with that kind of pain so it's really unbearable and soul ripping. With time you learn to deal with the pain, it will never go away, you just learn to deal with it. I have read a couple of books that are really fantastic one deals with the grieving process, and is called\nGrieving the Pain and the Promise, written by Deanna Edwards published by covenant communications, it is really an eye opener and actually makes alot of sence. I was ready to start taking medicine to deal with my grief when my husband brought the book home for me to read. It made a big difference.\n\nThe second is called THE MESSAGE by Lance Richardson, it is one that I would recommend to anyone who want to feel a connection to those whom they've lost. It is published by American Family Publishers you can order a copy for 12.95 by calling 1-208-522-2975  both of these I have given to other families who have lost a loved one. They are great.\n\nYour concern for this girl is commendable. Never doubt you heart when you want to reach out to someone in need. I agree with the things that you have said. I hope your girl is able to find peace and comfort. It will come, it just takes time.
481034
It's a long road.  Sleep deprivation is the worst part because it can make depression and mood swings worse.\n\nHopefully you have the support of the baby's father and / or family and friends.\n\nBe sure to see a counselor or religious figure (priest /clergyman/pastor/monk) to discuss any issues that may be holding you back from making real progress.\n\nI knew it was going to be OK when I started to take some time for myself and I wanted to be around the baby and was happy to see her and not just feel tired and cranky with the baby.\n\nI highly recommend hitting the gym.  Really work out as hard as you can.  It really helps to focus.  Sound body = sound mind thing.\n\nBe sure you are eating well, it can be hard when you are depressed, also make sure you are getting plenty of vitamins.\n\nIf you feel that you really haven;t improved then visit your doctor or health care professional to reevaluate what medication you are taking.  They may have to change it or tweak the dosage a bit to make it better for you.\n\nThe worse part about PPD is that people don't take it seriously and they tell you stupid platitudes like "you'll be OK" "the depression won't last forever", etc.  When you are in the middle of it sometimes it is the last thing you want to hear.\n\nTry to take care of you, only then will you be able to effectively manage taking care of your baby.  Don't cut out the things you like to do, recruit someone to help you get the time you need to be yourself again.\n\nI hope that you get better and you do find that road to recovery.  If you need someone to talk to who has been there (twice, I have 4 kids now) then please email me.  Good luck!  My prayers are with you :-D
1004577
hi there, i was in the SAME boat as you. Losing weight after having a baby is even harder than before you had her! I got the book body for life by bill phillips i have dropped 20 lbs and never feel deprived, and feel better than i have since, EVER! I PROMISE if you follow it, you will lose the weight!!!!!!!
744269
Gosh, how do you get such a depressing reasoning out of the religions?  We're being tested here on earth, and it gets tough, but life isn't just all about pain and suffering, hopefully.  Maybe yours is though??  There are still so many wonderful things in life to celebrate, and having a baby is one of them.  I have a little 11 months old, and he is the light of my life, and I will never regret bringing him into this world.  Life in this world is not the perfect state, but we are all going toward that perfect state - the afterlife - but what we do in this life will reflect our next one.  If you are so sad, and have such a bad outlook on your life, I hope you get some relief in family and friends.  Children are the most wonderful thing in this world, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.