why cant i move on from sexual abuse i suffered as a child?
445143
no offence, but if you center your life around it and contantly view our self as a victim then you will never get over it. you can try to move on or do what every other woman does, start/join a movement or protest and "do something about it"
579932
Considering what you went through, I think your response is probably to be expected. Most people, however, find that sex in a loving relationship is one of the most fulfilling experiences. Have you ever had counselling? Have you ever tried masturbation? If you can find some sort of pleasure in stimulation, whether doing it yourself or with your husband involved, that would be a first step to healing. My heart breaks for you, I know it is very difficult to get past what happened, but it's something you can overcome. It just takes a lot of time, moving slowly (only with whatever you are comfortable with), and always in a situation where you feel safe and in control. My prayers are with you.
790244
I was also molested as a child and i learned to get over it. All your friend needs right now is someone to support her and you can be that person for her. In time she will let go of the past but in the meantime her family and friends need to be there for her.
438787
I know how you fill, I was abused too but don't ever think it is your fault. I and still working through my problems and it never seems like it is going to get better, but you have to find some reason why you want to live. And yes there are reasons out there to live. I have tried to kill my self 3 times and believe me it is hard, then i realized that i would be doing my abuser a favor by getting red of my self for him. you need to seek therapy and i know that your not insane, so you probably think you don't need to but if you don't you will end up driving your self crazy by not knowing why you are filling this way!!! Also move on , get something started...put all your energy in school or sports, something like that, even friends!!!!!! If you need to talk more you can e-mail me. I know life hurts and its hard but just be strong and you never know what the future holds for you!!
204387
The abuse usually only gets worse. Why would you want to put yourself through that again. Hon, your in love with love and what might or could have been. Please think about it before getting back into that again....Nicky
42541
Hello there,well i did have to stop to this question my dera!A question that i myself use to ask myself awhile ago,but for a long time now resolved!Now I really get the feeling that this questions also is asking for help and desperate mesures!Now i Do Not Know your Case..But I can Feel it!My Name is Smaara,I am from Canada a,Quebec,I am also Glad To answer this for You..But I am Also Offering You My Help!Now your Question Is Why Do Woman Always Get abused?-Well I have To say That in My entire life abuse was part of it..since i was 2 years old,You see i do not know you,and i know that you are living things that you do not deserve at all!In a Womans Life..She Who Has been Living With abuse,either Physical Or Phsycological is even if she doesnt want it seems to be attracted to it...If You had Abused since a very young age..when you reach teenager..you have the bad gift of usiing this vicious circle..that even without knowing!I Had a Really Rough Life Of Abuse...Believe me You Need To Get Out Of IT!Stop Now and Think About It...What Has Your Life Has Been Breing You With all The abuse You have Been Experiencing!I Lived it But Also Studied It and If You Do Not Btreak Up This Circle That Is around You,Following your Eveysteps Of Your Everyday Life Well...No Maen To Scare You But some Dont Make It OUt!Lots Of Woman Will Use The Help Hotline Our Abuse line..That is Not Your Way Out,And That My Dear Is What I Know,You need TO Get Out..Not Tomorrow,Not In a WEek,But asap.....Men Love To Abuse Woman Because Thery Feel It Gives Them Power,Yes Power Over You..He has a Nee To Feel that He Controls Youre Every Move And As Far As I KNow...I think That You Do Not Need That..Especially With The Life YOu Had!Mister Feels SO Important...But Let Me Tellk YOu,,Mister si Nothing But A Looser!Break it now while its Not To Late..You Need Help..I am There For You Even If You Do Not Know me.Read Below Plesae.
1032827
I'm so sorry this happened to you. Of course, you did nothing wrong to deserve such treatment. Sometimes parents actually select one child for abuse, but don't abuse others in the same household. It's called scapegoating. Forgiving is more about releasing your feelings of hatred than about bestowing some mantel of "forgiveness" on them. Holding onto hatred can hurt you. When you're ready, I think you would benefit from forgiving them. Of course, you will never forget. Respect is something they should have taught you by showing it to you. It normally is part of love. Rather than respect them, I think now you would be lucky to tolerate them. You may even need to limit your time with them for your mental health. Also for your own mental health, I would recommend finding a good psychologist to discuss the abuse you experienced growing up. Years of such of abuse is not healed quickly. Please be patient with the process. If you're not satisfied with your first psychologist, get another one. When you have children of your own, please consider taking parenting classes or child development courses from the community center or community college. Unfortunately, children of abusers sometimes become abusers themselves. Learning proper techniques of caring for a child will help ensure a happy and healthy relationship with your own children and an end to the cycle of abuse. Good luck to you.\n\nI haven't read this book, but Amazon gives it 4 of 5 stars:\nBad Childhood---Good Life : How to Blossom and Thrive in Spite of an Unhappy Childhood by Laura Schlessinger
32075
You've already taken the first step by recognizing the problem. My advice is to seek professional help. Get yourself a good therapist who will help you through the healing process. Realize that self abuse comes from an inner source of rage, frustration and self-doubt. When you are comfortable with yourself and everything around you the urges will stop. If you need more help IM me at roguefire28 on Yahoo Messenger.
307495
it sounds like you had a bad expierence in another life time. when you go to bed tonight, keep saying that you want that part of your past lives not to bother you anymore. you might have to do it a few nights. but it will help
925161
Yes, sexually/physically. It started when I was three - by two cousins and an uncle, it went on for thirteen years. I did as much as I could to escape it, even running away - constantly. Recently, I went to the police (for a second time) However, the punishment given didn't fit the crime, and the cousin who abused me most, only got 5 years. I think people now a days are too scared to go to the police or report anything, because victims don't get enough support. Abusers get a couple years in prison - victims and survivors - they get a lifetime of never ending pain. I wouldn't wish the feelings they caused me to have on anyone, not even my worst enemy. \nIf you are in a situation where you're being hurt, please get as much help as you can...to physically get you out of the situation, and to help you with your emotions too.
232627
As an adult who had a very tragic childhood, but grew up very stabile, I totally agree with you. You have the power, not as a child, but as an adult, to change your life. If you let your past control your future, then you have lost. You have the power inside to change yourself and your perseption of people. It may take some help from professinals but you have to make the first step.\n\n\nFYI: I had been abused everyway known to man and verybadly and I still am a normal, fully functioning adult.
872715
no...you can go to therapy.. i think if there was a way to erase memories alot of people would be doing it. i for one have had a horrible like, i was molested as a child rapped 2 times as an adult was a drug addict and you know what i survived i have all these horrible memories inside my mind but i live with it and you can too.
235998
obviously you might have an issue with your self esteem or depression, bad experiences as a child, and its causing you to play it out by having so many different sexual partners.  think to yourself are you just trying to feel more love, attractive, or, it could be that you are hooked on finding the right partner and cant live without sex.  it could be a lot of things.  get some help.
375844
lalapetal, I would sugest that you talk to someone about this. Is there somekind of counselor you can seek? Some kind of suport groups in your area? I once told that I need to let it go and give it to god. But sometimes it stays with us and find it hard to accept things and forgive others. If you dont want to seek help then please seek a forum that can suport you.. google for some abuse forum, there are some good ones out there. You need to def talk to someone about this so you can begin to heal... this is the first step...
860492
its a very common occurrence and very simple one too.......\nyou remember your childhood because you want to because it is full of events you want to keep in mind but now it seems you are stressed.do meditation and yoga that would definitely help.
1102623
First... was this a dramatic change for you? Did yo just wake up one morning and say 'Hey Ive had enough and I'm going to be happy' ? You have to understand this is also an adjustment for your family, esp. your mother. They are use to you being one way and then you change on them..... put yourself in there shoes. It's great that you have been able to overcome your tragic happenings, it is a great accomplishment! I know I have been there myself. Maybe you can compromise with your mother and try seeing a clinical social worker and tell your mother maybe she also needs to seek some help herself..... Even though the sexual assault and abuse happened to you.... it does have an effect on her too.\nBe strong, stand strong... you have made it through a horrible experience..... remember you can make it through anything!
971062
Hello: I would like to make a suggestion. If at all possible please look for a therapist. I'm not suggesting this to be rude. You say that there was a lot of fighting in your life as a child. That is emotional abuse. Yelling, name calling, fighting, screaming matches that is abuse. If you are having flashbacks and repressed memories to me as a survivor of abuse both emotional, and other it seems like there are things that maybe you need unburden your heart with. There seems like there could be a lot of pain to perhaps work out. I have P.T.S.d and flashbacks are something that I deal with  I have anxiety and I have repressed memories. I encourage you to please talk to someone. A pastor, relative, friend, or therapist. Please for if nothing else at all then to help with your blood pressure. I have worked through many problems and still have a long way to go. If it seems like I am reading to much in to this then perhaps I could be. It just sounds like something is troubling your heart.\nGood Luck and I'll keep you in thought and prayer.