How can I help my girlfriend lose weight without making her feel bad?
454250
I have a friend that got me to join a gym.  He never has mentioned that I should lose weight but tells me how proud he is that I am working out.  We go for walks, add More dancing, and shopping, just find things that keep you moving.  Let her tell you how much she has lost never ask or don't make her losing weight your top priority it has to b hers.  Just be PROUD of what she has done. Encourage her that she looks great even if you don't see much of a change. Encourage with compliments
486278
You have every right to be worried!  First of all, does she have a chronic disease process that could cause this weight loss?  Is she diabetic? Is she depressed? Does she see her doctor on a regular basis?  If not, she should.\n\nTo help her eat, serve her several small healthy meals a day.  Sometimes a big meal is overwhelming when you don't feel like eating.  Crackers and cheese for instance, is a good small healthy snack.  Peanut butter on fruit, things like that.  Small amounts of protein.  If she eats several small meals like that she will get as much nourishment as 3 larger meals.  Also you can supplement with something like Ensure if she finds that to her liking.  If that is too expensive for you, Carnation Instant Breakfast mixed in milk has the same calories and vitamins and minerals as the Ensure at half the cost.  Please get her to a doctor too.  Bless you both.
746833
suggest you both excessive together...start walking every other day and build up to power walking you both will not only lose weight but you'll feel better, less tired and more interested in doing the 'things' you used too. maybe its not about your weight but the fact you've been together 6 yrs and she's still a fiancee...point is maybe she feels you don't want to commit to her....if you love her treat her like it, respect her. and no your size shouldn't matter if you really love each other...there is a saying that 'beauty fades but love lasts forever'
827607
It sounds like she may have some issues with food. Does she ever complain that she feels fat or overweight, does she seem obsessesive about her body? \n\nShe is underweight at 101lb and if it continues, it could get out of hand. It might be difficult to encourage her to see a doctor, but she really needs to get checked out.\n\nIf it continues and she won't see a doctor, you may need to tell her parents. This may seem like the ultimate betrayal, but there really is no other option or she could become quite ill.\n\nGood luck and you really sound like a wonderfully caring and supportive boyfriend. Take care : )
1014782
I don't believe you can convince anyone to do anything ... they make their decisions.  BUT what you can do is better then that ... my friend helped me by taking long walks with me.  I didn't even know we were exercising in the sense that it was my girlfriend and I gossiping around the block.  Then she told me that she appreciated me helping get her motivated.  Soon, we were going further and further.  I believed I was helping her so it made me feel great and in time, I was losing weight feeling awesome about myself.  \nThe keys for me what not having the focus on me and the time given from a friend.  I didn't want the "diet" pressure.  She took it all on herself and soon I was losing the weight.  She gave me the time.  That was a great friend.
403699
First of all, to the guy who said "get another girl..a slim one of course" you are mean, and didn't even address the question. Not everyone is as superficial as you are.\n\nNow, if you think she's cute, and are mostly dissapointed that you can't enjoy physical activities with her because she always finds excuses not to go, then I suggest that you kindly explain to her that its something you really enjoy, and something you want her to be a part of, and that you can take it slow if she wants. I think you're right about her being afarid she won't be able to keep up (thats how I'd feel) \n\nYou could also just stop by her house and ask her to take a walk with you, or take her to go swimming at a lake or something...activities that are romantic as well as counting as excersise. Once she is able to be comfortable around you in these sort of situations, she'll agree to them more and more, and most likely start to lose a bit of weight. \n\nAnd if she says she goes to the gym, why not suggest that the two of you go together? \n\nJust keep in mind that healthy weight loss takes a lot or work, pateince and time - and this applies to you as well as her. Be supportive and don't get impatient.\n\nSorry this was long, hope it helped.
1185759
Just be there for her.  Something's bothering her... it isn't just because she thinks she's fat.  but, in the mean time, try to get her to eat something...all the while reminding her that you are her friend and only want to help.
558625
Well, first of all I would suggest medical help for her.  This is not something you can enforce by yourself.  She needs proper psychological help if she has an eating disorder, so if she is not receiving help for that, I would suggest trying to convince her of that first.\n\nAfter that, it is up to you as her friend to provide lots of positive encouragement, and make sure that everyone else who knows and loves her does the same.
445258
Tell her those guys are jerks........ but try to encourage her to lose weight.\n\nA lot of people say that we shouldn't care. Many say that we should love people loke they are. But, it is just more healthy to be fit.... period. Also, it would most likely be best for social reasons (even if being judgemental IS stupid) for a person to be fit and attractive. That's not to mention the psychological effects geing fit could add.
975041
FOR SHAME on your father in law!  Doesn't he know that by not encouraging her, that he is actually DISCOURAGING her and sabotaging her ability to reach her goals?  He doesn't need to be "mushy" just to say, "I'm glad to know you're happy about the progress you've been making".  SHEESH!\n\nSo, I'm gonna recommend that you go to the store and pick up a whole bunch of greeting cards.  They don't need to be expensive, and they don't need to necessarily have wording that's related to the weight loss.  Just cards that let her know you're thinking about her.  Send one off to her every two or three days...If you need to, address all of them in advance so that you can just drop them in the mailbox.  But if you have time, include a note inside each one, letting her know that you're proud of the fact that she's working out...or that she lost one more pound.  Don't forget to remind her that the weight she has already lost is a great accomplishment, and that she doesn't want all of her efforts to be in vain.\n\nAlso, maybe your father-in-law can recommend a neighbor or someone from their church who might be interested in taking a walk with your mother-in-law once a week, or something.  Alternately, does she use the computer?  She might enjoy spending some time in the chat room on Richard Simmons' site...she might even find someone in her area who has had success, or needs a work-out cohort.\n\nI'm proud of you for being so concerned.  You can also let your MIL know that I'm proud of her for doing so well!!!
1179407
First you have to honestly ask yourself whether the changes you want are out of love for her, or out of love for yourself?  If they are out of love for her, then you'll definitely have to be an active supportive participant in this.  Exercise WITH her.  (Don't wear her out all at once; she'll be intimidated.)  Cook WITH her... try some low-fat cookbooks with lots of veggies and minimal carbs and meat.  Good-tasting food that doesn't make you look like a blueberry muffin IS possible, but it takes work.\n\nAlso, be sure you let her know that you love her and you're concerned for her well-being.  If she cannot accept that, there's not much you can do.  But if she can, you could really go somewhere with it.  One of my friends was very overweight... ate way too much and was extremely lazy.  Well, she is still overweight.  BUT she is losing some of it and eating more healthy and getting into shape.  And it's all thanks to the good influence of her boyfriend.  Now I don't think he's such a good influence in some other areas; but about that he's good.\n\nAnd finally... wear her out with some good sex.  hehe.  ;)  J/k... sort of.
1116118
Yes, it's possible. Stress can cause weight loss in some people and in others it causes them to gain. Does she look unhealthy? Keep an eye on her.
809323
thats a tough one. you need to make it every clear about how dangerous it is for her not to eat... she may lose some weight, but the other effects are way worse... her hair will fall out, her imune system will shut down... all kinds of things... trust me, and its something she will ALWAYS battle once it starts... instrad, why not talk her into working out with you. even if its only a 30 minute walk 3 days a week, she will notice a difference. im a vegiterian... when i stopped eating meat, i lost a lot of weight... thats not really a diet, but... there are diets too. just show her some of the effects of not eating healthy. a really good weight loss tip thats easy to do, drink LOTS of water... no sodas or tea. water is good for your skin too! your body is in a constant state of dehydration, but when you get pleanty of it, eventually it will let go of all the extra water it retains, because it knows it will get the amount it needs!  so in short- drink loads of water, a healthy diet, work out with her, and above all, keep reminding her of how beautiful she is, and point out her progress! she needs to work on loving herself more, until she does that, she wont ever be happy! good luck hun!
1076132
I guess I would first ask you if she wants to be helped. I don't think you'll be able to do anything for her until she has reached to point of wanting to change. Once she is there you have lots of options.\n\nFirst and foremost - she needs to see a dietician. Even something as simple as Jenny Craig or Weight Watchers. A self-regulated diet won't work. She needs a friend and a counselor to help her along the way (kind of like a sponsor at AA).\n\nThere are many other things to do, but getting professional help is the best thing for her...\n\nGOOD LUCK!
136406
She has a good friend. You're kind of in an awckward position to help an overweight friend. If you try to help her to get thinner, she might end up resenting you because she'll think you don't like her.\nRemember that being fat is not a body problem, it's an emotional problem. What you can help her the most is in raising her self-esteem while she remains fat. Tell her "it's Ok to be fat". Well, not in those words. Say "don't worry about what people say, people are very judgmental, and they don't understand that women have issues". Tell her "I don't think you hate your body because you're overweight, I think you have had emotions you haven't resolved yet". That sounds like psychobabble but it's pretty close to reality. You can probably find a better way to say it.\nIf you're just wishing she was thinner, and she's bringing you down emotionally, you need to think of yourself first, also. You might get to a point where you can't take it, and that is OK, you can take a break too.
862050
i think it depends on your relationship with the person and the situation...\ni had put on some weight once and ran into an aquaintance and at first i felt kinda wierd cuz i had gained the weight and kinda embarrassed....but then the girl said "it's been a long time since i've seen you...you look great, you've put on some weight and you look so healthy and so much less stressed out"\n....you might ask how she's doing...maybe she just had a baby or maybe she has  a health issue...\nor maybe say "wow you've changed so much since i last saw you..." and then add a compliment like "i really like how you're wearing your hair now, you look great"
500164
WHOA- that is a touchy subject for you. I personally have lost 143 lbs and fell great so I know how you feel about wanting to help others, I do it all the time. Sometimes they are thankful and sometimes they are resentful. Take it easy with her. Like you-nobody else can motivate her. SHE is the only person that can do that. One day she will see a picture, try on a pair of jeans or an old dress and make a decision that she is tired of it. In the meantime you stay on track and set the example for her both foodwise and exercise. She will eventually follow suit because on the inside the jealousy will eat her up. CONGRATULATIONS TO YOU!!!!!!! Keep up the good work!