i hasve two adopted daughters i have seen after 16 years i having a hard time?
450790
sweety, I have no answer to this...no experienced answer, but isn't LOVE always-the-answer?  maybe taking the time to explain???  you don't say what their response is either, but if its positive try talking to them, maybe write them a letter telling them how you feel.  YOU DON'T HAVE TO SEND THE LETTER YA KNOW\n\nMy prayers and thoughts are with you, I really hope this helps,  :) :) :) :) \n\nroxann
142567
been there, done that.  your asking for a lot of grief.  just the age situation with the children is a burdon, not to mention the difference between your "going to be" and you.  you yourself said your not mature enough to make a decision...let that alone be a guide for you.  first time marrages are tough enough these days, let alone the second time around ones.  i have had experiance with taking on "the others" kids and it is very difficult to relate to them, win them over, have commonalities with them and just simply get close to them.  and if they are close to you in age i'd think there would be little for them to look up to.  kids are hard to win over when your trying to "replace" their mom or pop.  I'd think hard on this one before I jumped into the fire.  good luck.
275233
I was 20 and my low life ex left me with 2 baby girls.  It was very hard, now they are 13 and 14.  It is ever harder! But i have a great husband that helps me with everything.  Please learn from my mistake and wrap your life around your child.  Don't became wrapped up in looking for Mr.Right.  I was so focused on finding a father for them that I went from relationship to relationship and now they have a lot of bad feelings because I put them through it too.  Also, go to college.  There are MANY places that will help a single mother. They will even pay for your childcare while you go to school Take advantage them.  You just can't raise a child anymore on $5.00 or 6.00/hr.  That way you wont have to depend on anyone else. When have a degree and a good job then the right person will come along and you will be so secure that you wont have to depend on him.  I commend you on leaving your abuse relationship.  Remember God loves you and you deserve to be treated with respect and love.  If a man hits you one time, it is one time too many. You did the right thing!! Your going to be ok.  You will be a strong, independent mother and you baby will love you for that.  Just remember it's all up to you now, that baby's future is in your hands : ) Take care and good luck!
681089
i think you need to ask her about adopt one child...hope she comes back to you,good luck.
809587
I don't know what your troubles were but they sound pretty bad.  We support you and your great positive attitude.  I lost alot of loved ones in my family including my nephew when he was just 15.   I know what you are saying and thank God every day that I and my children are alive to share another day together.  God bless you!
1162238
here are lots of adoption support groups online that can help you. Never Give Up! \n\nwww.zabasearch.com \n\nwww.ussearch.com (the first part is free)..and this can tell you where she lives..(city and state)\n\nwhite pages to find listed people\nwww.theultimates.com\n\nGreat Articles\nhttp://www.adoption-help.org\n\nSupport Groups:\n\nhttp://groups.msn.com/theforgottenpeople...\n\nYahoo! Groups\nhttp://groups.yahoo.com\n\nSearchingRegistry\nfamilytiesadoptionsearch\nadoptee-support\nsoaringangels\nusaadoptiondatabase\ntouchedbyadoption\n\n\nGoogle Groups\nalt.birthright \nalt.support.adoption\nalt.support.adoption\nSource(s):\nNever Give Up!
678191
im very sorry for the trouble you have had and hope you can get it sorted out friend.  i myself have just  my second one put in   which is now  in for  8 years luckily i have had no trouble with it hugs rach .x..x.x
1179947
I had a similar situation. I had my first child when i was 21, and i wanted another, well I tried and tried , then when i was 29 I had my second. just relax it will happen. God Bless and good luck!
584924
You can try a small get-together or a family reunion or a family Picnic. When you meet your daughter, tell her about your revelations and dont say anything that might seem as though you may be pointing something in her. dont compare her with the other daughter with who you get along well (as that may unknowning to you be considered a threat to the her.) \nI advise this to my mom whenever I get a chance to talk to her. We are 3 sisters and she cant get through to the middle one but with me she is fine, and many times she unintentionally compares her to me. presently She has stopped doing that and her relation with my sis has improved. \nBest of luck though, be friends! they are pretty grown up with their own family and somewhere in their heatrs they look for a friend in  parents
802401
Its hard, I know from experience, you need someone to talk about it with, someone you trust or who knows from experience, if you want to talk more heres my email mikealdana_163@yahoo.com,, I can help if you want because I'm going through the same thing and I know its tough. I'm 16
692162
I'm sorry that you're hurting for mistakes made in your life.  I do feel it's only fair to you to be honest.  I'm extremely doubtful that you would ever be able to adopt, given the fact your children were taken away.  No adoption agency would ever consider you.  I'm sorry to tell you this.\n\nI'm assuming you're asking this question because you're unable to have more children?\n\nIf you are in a healthy marital relationship, have redefined your life, and are moving into a positive direction my recommendation would be that you attempt to have a relationship, to the extent you can, with the children who were taken away.  If that's not possible, look for the good in the life you now have, forgive yourself for past mistakes, and learn to wake up each day looking for something good that day.  \n\nYou're life isn't over.
862260
Start at the agency you were adopted through.\n\nFrom there, you could probably use anywho or google, or one of those search firms if they are really hard to track down.\n\nUse caution if you don't know what she's like, though.  She could be great, or she could be trouble.
1066175
There are lots of adoption support groups online that can help you. Never Give Up!\n\n\n\nGreat Articles\nhttp://www.adoption-help.org\n\nSupport Groups:\n\nhttp://groups.msn.com/theforgottenpeople...\n\nYahoo! Groups\nhttp://groups.yahoo.com\n\nSearchingRegistry\nfamilytiesadoptionsearch\nadoptee-support\nsoaringangels\nusaadoptiondatabase\ntouchedbyadoption\n\n\nGoogle Groups\nalt.birthright\nalt.support.adoption\nalt.support.adoption\n\nNever Give Up!
161202
Ah, dear sweet mother that you are, don't you know that as much as you love your daughter, that God loves her all that much and more?  He will grant her peace.  He will show her how much you love her, and help her to understand if there was any unresolved issues between the 2 of you, and come to a certain peace about it.  \n\nYou say she was bipolar.  If this ever caused her to do things that were questionable, I think God would not ever hold those things against her.  Please do not worry over her salvation or anything like that.  God is not so cruel.  Would you ever send your daughter to a place of torment?  Of course not!  And God will not either!  That is pure and simple.\n\nLosing a daughter is the hardest loss that anyone on earth probably ever has to face.  I cannot even comprehend it.  You are feeling totally natural things.  Do not feel guilty for the way you feel.  I wish I could give you some kind of magic words that would ease your suffering.  But I do not know them.  Please know that even now, I am crying for you.  Tears are blurring my vision now!  I feel so sad for you.  And I do not even know you.  But I can tell you are hurting, and that you truly truly were a good mother, even if you are unsure of it right now.  I will pray for you.  Do not feel ashamed to seek counseling in this situation.  No one could be prepared for the loss you've endured.  I bet some counselling may help.\nAnd I'll pray for you.\n\nGod bless you and give you peace.
1082376
it's very common. we went through the same issues when our first son was born. we still got through it now with our 2nd baby. hang in there.
630778
1st thing - I am adopted too! I have 2 siblings that were also adopted through catholic charities, but in NJ. I was adopted privately so my situation is a little different. I know my medical history, because I met my birth mother about 6 years ago and my full-bro & 2 half-bros that live with her. She is a wonderful person, who made the right decision and gave me a better life, were such good friends now.  \n\n * CAll Catholic charities - they can help you. They may not be able to tell you where you sibling are though - they need there permission. The best I could do is have letters put in there files incase they ever want to look for me. I'm pretty much stuck their - there's nothing else I can do - becasue I don't know there adopted names. I must say, I know not everyone has good expiences when searching for biological family - so be prepared for rejection, but dont take it personally - they dont even know you.
567025
My growing-up years was a hard one and I’m always trying to be strong and carry on.\nMy Dad made little money and he didn’t treat my mum very well and they often quarreled since I was 3 or 4 years old. That was all the fault of my dad I was clear. My mum wept very often hiding from me but I knew that most of the time. She never thought of getting divorce with Dad forshe \nendured to avoid leaving me growing in a broken family. All those made a very miserable childhood for me. And hard time came when I was about 18 and got good grades ready to enter the gate of college. Dad barely make money and I need it to pay the tuition. During the 4 years of my \ncollege time ,my mom worked very hard for the whole family and I also did part time jobs as a tutor ,a translator and sometimes also waitress. And in the third year of my college ,my ex-boyfriend, my first love, who \nhad been with me for 7 years and stayed in New York for 5 years left me.Suffering all those, I also \nthought that God hated me and wanted to desert me and that almostpushed me to commit suicide.\nBut now I manage to lead a happy life because I'm convinced that those sufferings are good for my character and they broaden view of human inner world. Now i become optimistic and get a better understanding of 'love' to love the world and people more