Teachers - do you have any funny classroom stories?
443736
I'm not a teacher but I've got a few as a student.  Once, when I was in 7th grade, my english teacher Mrs. Salisbury (If you see this email me!! haha) Was teaching us about Huckelberry Finn.  And after reading I think it was the section where he tricks the other kids in to paying him to let them whitewash the fence, she stood up in front of the class (And mind you, she was a very prim and proper woman.) and says "Alrignt, now how did F*ck Hinn ...." and naturally stopped there as the entire class went into hysterics.  I don't think we got much accomplished after that for the rest of the day lol\n-Duo
1156884
One day a teacher went into her class room and saw the word, “penis” written in small letters on the chalkboard. She erased it and went on with the day's lesson. The next day, she came in and saw the same word on the chalkbaord, but a little bit bigger. She erased it and went on with her lesson.\nEach of the next several days, the teacher would come in to find “penis” on the board, a little larger each time. She went in one morning, expecting to dinf it again, but instead the chalkboard read: “The more you rub it, the bigger it gets.”
341432
I've dealt with a lot of mean teachers and I know they can't get fired for that. My Freshman science teacher was mean to only Freshman. Now, whenever she sees me, she's always extremely nice. Some teachers are just mean because they don't like their jobs. Nonetheless, if your teacher wasn't teaching properly or was beating the kids, that would be a good ticket out of there. But just "being mean" could be a  matter of perspective and I don't think there's anything you can do.
539013
how about some interesting stories happened to you when you were at the student's age?that could shorten the distance between you and the students!
743506
Oh, boy.  Here's a true story for you.\n\nA teacher of my acquaintance was once insulted in class by a young lad who had recently learned how to give the finger.\n\nThe teacher was shocked, of course, but struggled to ignore the boy.\n\nWell, the boy kept it up, and the teacher sensed he was starting to lose control of the class (NEVER lose control of the class, as you know!).\n\nHe casually walked to the boy, keeping his eyes on the class, continuing his lecture.  He seized the boy's upraised finger, and held on.\n\nThe harder the boy struggled to free himself, the firmer the teacher held it.  After a good five minutes, the teacher let go, not once having indicated that he was paying attention to anything but the lecture.\n\nThe moral of the story:  don't let them get your goat!
1107083
I absolutely hate it when my teachers are unprofessional. They sit around with their feet on the desk wearing flipflops and sweatpants and drinking a Coke. They just yell orders, make threats, etc, but nothing happens. Basically I hate it when the class is a joke.
18145
ever seen the movie Carrie? just kidding! at my school some of the seniors(who lived on farms)got a bunch of frogs, snakes, lizards- you name it-they had it- and let them all loose in the lunchroom one day when most of the lady teachers were in there. it was hilarious!   (they let them loose outside afterward!)
225330
Yes, when I was young, I'd frequently get ticked off at teachers.  But now that I'm an old fart, and can impress and terrorize some of the teachers in my college classes, it's fun going to school!
1084636
I've used this method not to cheat, just to have a conversation when i had a horribly strict teacher...\n\nWrite message\nStuff in pen lid\nPen falls to floor\nFriend picks up\nFriend reads\nFriend writes back\nRepeat for as long as you dare!
430526
Just learn to laugh at yourself. Don't think about it as a embarrassing moment, think of it as an experience. In third grade the teacher was talking. I had to go. I ask and she said no. The stain was there for a long time. The chair began to flood........
679958
A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up!"\nAfter a few seconds, little John stood up.\nThe teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, John?"\n"No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"
1001505
The 3rd grade school teacher says," O.K. everybody, the word for today is fascinate, and you have to come up with a sentence using that word." \nLittle Cindy raises her hand and says,"I went to the zoo on Friday, and it was fascinating." \n\nThe teacher says, "That's nice but we want to use fascinate, not fascinating." \n\nLarry raises his hand and says,"I went to a movie Saturday and I was fascinated." \n\nThe teacher says,"That's nice too, but we want to use fascinate." \n\nJohnny extends his hand and says, " My sister has a shirt with 12 buttons on it but her tits are so big she can only fasten 8."
146190
Hey fellow middle school English teacher! \n\nMost of what I read to my kids are novels, but occasionally I'll pick something fun out of the "Random Book of Humor." \n\nRichard Peck's books are always fun to read aloud. "The Teacher's Funeral" is fun. \n\nAny of the books by Gordon Korman are absolutely hilarious. He honestly should do stand up comedy!\nhttp://gordonkorman.com/\n\nTry those.......if you want more, I'll send more titles when I get to school tomorrow. Let me know. :)
440316
This is a very good question. Every time I walk through my child's school, there are a couple teachers that I just want to slap. As for the comment made by, DID I GET ADOPTED, Teachers are suppose to set an example. I have know doubt that there are days and kids that can try their nerves, but this is a part of life, and teaching your classroom how to act and behave badly is just plain wrong! No matter what job you have I have always believed that if the heat is too hot in the kitchen, get out!!!
213187
Did a good one once, long time ago now.....teacher was late, so we put the clock forward 5 minutes. Then they went out of the room briefly 3 times during the lesson, each time we put it forward another 5! So we got out 20 minutes from a 55 minute lesson!\n\nOne we did on a friend was spend a couple of weeks beforehand making suggestive remarks and hushed conversations about pulling something on her, then we did nothing. She was soooooo paranoid all morning, that was actually the most fun we ever had with pranks!
410737
One of the funniest skits I ever saw was some P.E. teachers who did an exercise routine, with the more petite teachers straddling the taller teachers who were lying down, so that the legs of the reclined teachers looked like the legs of the straddlers. Use a blanket to cover up the top half of the inclined teachers and the thighs of the straddlers (kneeling). I don't know what your subject is, but if you are trying to entertain as well as teach, this could work. The audience thought it was funny when the legs didn't do what the top teachers tried to make them do. Another possibility is to do a skit with puppets, if you are working with young children.
317770
Well i love my alg 2 teacher cuz he makes the class fun and really cares about us. My english teacher is compelelty crazy. I think she really is from another planet, she is so fun to mess w/. My Human Anatomy and Physiology teacher is soooooooooo boring, but he's still cool. Last my World Cultures teacher is a real b***h. She loves to give us 2 projects at once, as if we don't have any other classes, and she doesn't give us notes or anything!