i need answers to fetal alcohol syndrome and effects.  my 4 year old step son is in need of help.?
442056
Fetal alcohol syndrome is a condition characterized by abnormal facial features, growth retardation, and central nervous system problems. It can occur if a woman drinks alcohol during pregnancy. Children with fetal alcohol syndrome may have physical disabilities and problems with learning, memory, attention, problem solving, and social/behavioral problems.\n\nFetal alcohol syndrome is also called FAS.\n\nWhen You Are Pregnant, Drinking Can Hurt Your Baby\n\nWhen you are pregnant, your baby grows inside you. Everything you eat and drink while you are pregnant affects your baby. If you drink alcohol, it will probably hurt your baby's growth. Your baby may have physical and behavioral problems that can last for the rest of his or her life. The more you drink while pregnant, the greater the risk to your unborn baby. The risk is present at any time during pregnancy.\n\nChildren with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome are more likely to:\n\n* Be born small.\n* Have problems eating and sleeping.\n* Have problems seeing and hearing.\n* Have trouble following directions and learning how to do simple things.\n* Have trouble paying attention and learning in school.\n* Have trouble getting along with others and controlling their behavior.\n* Need medical care all their lives.\n* Need special teachers and schools.
822918
Unfortunately, it is a difficult matter to help somebody stop doing something they want to do. Your advice and support are pretty much all you can give. Coming from a long line of over indulgers in alcohol I can relate to the tragedy you endure. A positive spin on his lifestyle is all you can really expect to provide. The decision to stop drinking must be his unless he is a minor. The only effective treatment aside from 'quitting cold turkey'  is professional intervention. This is predicated on the notion that one wishes to become sober. Without that, all is lost.
320213
You are obviously looking for the best advice possible, so please if you can do anything to rectify this situation then do it and as soon as possible. I am so proud of you even though I dont know you, for recognising that this man is in difficulty, please go to someone who can help him, go to his or indeed your Dr. and seek immediate advice. This is wrong, you know it I know it and I am sure every other user of this site will see it for what it is.  It is abuse of the worst kind.  I have a son with special needs, and this is my worst nightmare. I applaud your concern, now please get help for him....
496428
YOU SHOULD KEEP YOUR HEAD UP ITS NOT YOUR FAULT THAT YOU FATHER ISN'T MAN ENOUGH TO STEP UP AND BE A FATHER,YOU HAVE 2 LOVE YOURSELF AND LET GOD HANDLE THE REST FOR YOU! MY FATHER WAS NEVER AROUND AND HE STILL DRINKS ALOT.STAY STRONG 4 YOURSELF AND YOUR BROTHER!AND DONT FORGET ITS NOT YOUR FAULT SO DONT BEAT YOURSELF UP ABOUT IT.
28067
I would probably leave him or ask him to leave.  Tell him when he gets his sobriety and stays on a regular program, you will consider taking him back.  It's not good for the kids and it's not good for you to live with the results of another persons addiction.  You can't fix him, that's his choice and until he makes it you need to look out for those babies, and for yourself.  Good Luce
45734
I'm assuming you mean the alcohol having an affect on the health of the baby, the answer to that is no.\nHowever, having an alcoholic father will certainly affect your baby in the future.
415690
If you have a 2month old w/him & 2 other children in the house & he still acts like that yelling & what not then you need to decide what is more important. Your kids or him  Apparently you know what is the most important or you would have not quit drinking YOUR KIDS ARE YOUR LIFE. They are you miracles your gifts from GOD. You need to take care of them before you worry about a loser who obviously doesn't care about you, his baby, or himself. Things change tremendously when you have kids either he doesn't have any other children or this is his 1st or he is a dead beat dad whatever the reason he still needs to grow up.
749819
this is a sad situation,,, whats so bad is the involvement of your daughter,,, how can you allow her to be around it??? you have a choice, your daughter don't! get her out of the house and away from your mother, this is something she will remember for the rest of her life, and i know the consequences later in life... my father was a Alcoholic and as a child felt helpless as I'm sure your daughter does ,even at the age of 3 she will become affected by your moms behavior,, the drama here isn't your moms drinking but your daughters safety>>> please find a new home ,,, you've done all you can to help your mom, now help your daughter
521054
Anything you "do" is going to force her to defend him.  I know how frightening the situation is.  It could build in to full blown abuse. If this is what he does when drunk it will only get worse.  Sounds like you have already been through plenty with this relationship. It is so hard to stand by while our kids make big mistakes.  Been there done that! Just be there for emotional support, she will need you.
1002633
I have had a similar problem because my husband died when my son was 10 years old--maybe it was even worse, because my son wanted to be the "man" in the house.\n\nFirst and foremost, if your son is on some kind of drug, then punishment will not work at all--you will have to take more drastic steps.  Before you take any steps, sit down with your son and talk to him---not about drugs/alcohol, but ask him what exactly is bothering him so much that he feels the need to fit in with the crowd.  Maybe that will lead to a more in depth discussion on why he chose to do drugs.  Because, as you can imagine, once he realizes his own problem, there is a chance to fix it.  Just keep in mind that he is a teenager, they will not listen to our preaching, they do feel invincible, they feel they are in control---"it can't happen to me" kind of thing.\n\nIf you can get your son to talk about what is bothering him, the next step would be to involve his father, because it is important to decide togherther on what to do next and how to go about the rest.\n\nSince I did not have a husband any longer I decided to find a parenting support group.  That's where I got a lot of help and that might help you too.  Bringing my problems to this group helped me inasmuch that I was able to change the way I approached my teen, and it also helped me find solutions.\nI enrolled my son in a counseling program and with the help of the counselor decided that it was best to have my son admitted to a hospital for children who resorted to alcohol and drugs.  My son was able to communicate with other children about his problems, got good counseling there, and made the decision that drugs were not for him.  He was uptset that I put him there, but I dealt with that, because the most important thing to me was that my son got all the help necessary out there and it was worth every penny spent, because he is totally away from drugs, was able to join the military, is married now. So when considering your options consider that IF he is on drugs, he will not be able to get out of that alone.\n\nIf he is not seriously on drugs---a drugtest will reveal that(and depending on your insurance it might even be paid for by them), then I really would suggest that you look for a parenting support group to get support and good ideas on how to deal with your teenage son.  I went to a group called Parents Anonymus, I have no idea if they still exist---if they don't, then you might consider starting a group of your own.  The support is important.  Teenage boys in particular are too often thinking that they are a man and do not need our guidance and advice.  Whatever you do, consider that punishment might only be temporarily.  \n\nAnother thing I did was enroll my son in karate---he told me years later that this really helped him to let off a lot of steam.  Teenagers want to have some sort of control, they don't have it because they are still under our care, so they do get very angry when we decide that something is not good for them, and then they do that very same thing, just to defy us.\n\nLastly, I did hear a report on the news not so very long ago that the reaction of teenagers is also hormone related.  Once they are in puberty, there is a constant up and down because their hormone input is not regulated by the brain yet.\n\nI do not know if this helped you, but I sure hope so and wish you the best of luck.
354270
First of all, do you live in US? If Yes, I,m sure his disease was caused from alchol.  I lost my uncle a year ago with the same disease,age 57. Your friend needs to go file for Government SocialSecurity Disability. Get an attorney who deals with disability cases. The Hospitals cannot turn him away. Or, they are not suppose to. Doesn't matter about the money. They(Hospitals) have ways of getting income. Programs to help,  get the Dr. to write a letter for him to send to Social Security Disability. He needs to try and get on a Donar List. They say about the Lotterys--if you don't play you can't win. Well it's sad but true , here too.\nLook into the Herbal Books, Look up liver, to see what Herbs will help the liver to function better. Usually they will tell you also what to eat, that could play a BIG part.\nBut Please don't give up. PLEASE!!! I just lost my nephew 42, He shot himself,April 3,2006. He had a bad Liver from Hepatitis 2, And was a bad bad alcoholic. He did take Milk Thistle. Said it was an Herb that was good for Liver. \nHe Just Had some family problems,along with the hard liquor. So So Sad. I've been in shock for almost 2 weeks.\nI tryed my best to Help him in a good way, and he drove to see me that very morning 90miles one way. Got 2 speeding tickets, while on his way.But I still tryed. He cryed! \nThe last trooper didn.t even ask him to get out of his car,clocked him going 92mph,he was drinking vodka,chasing it with grape soda. I was on the phone with him during the whole thing. If the officer had of done his job, made him get out, he might still be with us today. \nBut This World is here, God gave up his only son for our wrong doings, ONLY if we would love his son. Follow the 10 Commandments. Yes , he Paid it all. \nI guess it just didn't end the way I wanted.\nMay God Bless You.
443451
my mother was an alcoholic. I am not.\n\nIt can be hereditary. If NO ONE in your family has this disease, they may have began drinking at a very young age. \n\nI urge you to find them help. My mother died two weeks before my 13th birthday. She was 41 years old. She slipped in our bathtub and her she had a hemorage in her brain. This caused a stroke. She would have lived for all we know but because she had drank so much throughout her life her blood vessels had thinned out. When they had to put the feeding tube in they scratched the lining of her stomach. Because her blood vessels were so thinned out, her stomach filled up with blood and she died. \n\nAt the time she died she had been a 6 month RECOVERED alcoholic. \n\nIt is very dangerous. I hope maybe you can share my story with your children and show them the severity. It takes a lot of will power and many scare tactics for most people to over come this illness. They have to hit "rock bottom" before they can recover many times and no telling how severe that bottom can be.\n\nMy mother was a wonderful person, I never even caught on to her drinking problem until years after her death. Not all alcoholics are the "happy" type. I was fortunate to get the time I had with her. \n\nHer mother is still alive and the devestation that she has gone through due to loosing her daughter is something I wouldn't wish on anyone. I feel it was much worse than how I suffered and I would hate for you to end up in her position.\n\nPlease Take Care and I will pray for you and your family.
1019930
Well the only support group I know is Alanon its also for people who use drugs, booze, but it's also there to help with other problems you have with in your family. \nAs far as the child support issue.. How many kids did they have together?? If it's only one it's only 17% of the gross if it's more then one then the % goes up accordingly to the # of kids. And she can't keep taking him back to court once it's been in front of the judge. Unless he's gotten a large settlement, raise of more then 3% over and above of what he was making. Also get a hold of Legal Aid they can give you some advice on the matter or send you in the right direction. Well if she receives food stamps, public aid etc then she really has no right to ask for more money unless he gets a letter stating that he needs to increase the child support and only by the order of the court, judge etc can that be done. She's giving you a bunch of BS. I've been through this with my X-HUSBAND and I've been paying him Child Support so I know what you're feeling. Been there done it.  I hope this has helped?? If there is any thing else please feel free to contact me at    mr_djman2006@yahoo.com    I'm Dawne Good Luck. \nP.S. Check out this web site I think it also might help you out. Later
280028
First off *HUGS*!\n\nSecond off, unfortunately there is nothing youc an do to make them stop.  Be it your mom, dad, step mom or sibling, that choice has to come from them.  And remember, its not your fault.\n\nHow old are you?  It really sounds like you are in an abusive situation.  I would talk to a councelor at school and let them know whats going on.  Are you living with this family member?  Is there anyone else you could stay with?  As far as your step mom goes, can you talk to your dad?  If you can't talk to him or her, you need to let her comments go.  Realize you are none of the horrible things being said to you.  Sometimes, its unfortunate but you have to take a mental break from the people in your life.  Your step-mom or dad if they are the ones that you have the issue with.  You are a strong young person and this is a very short yet impressionable time in your life.  \n\nTell youself you are your own person and you will not let the rest of you're life be the summation of this small time frame.  And that you will not end up like them in your future.  I know this is hard though and you don't always have to believe it in certain moments, but when always remind yourself and eventually it wont be so hard to remember. \n\nAre there other activities you can do?  Maybe take up volunteer work or a sports activity to get you out of the house as much as possible?  Its always good to have someone to talk to.  Like I said, go see a councelor at school.  If you feel you can't do this, there are Alateen meetings all over.  They are connected to Alcoholics Anonymous in the fact they are for family members of alcoholics.  You can meet other people in your situation and it can be a great support.\n\nBe strong love, you are your own person and can get through this, and there is NEVER anything wrong with yourself or asking for help.  You'll be in my thoughts and prayers.
157522
He should go and see a doctor.......could have an inflammation of the liver or something else. Might be /or not related.\nAlcohol abuse can cause loads of problems.
800746
First,  I'd like to say that I am sorry for your loss.  I, also, think you should go to a doctor.  He may be able to put you on antidepressants or something.  Yes, You could very well be or develop into an alcoholic soon.  I don't think it is worth that..  There is nothing wrong with asking for help.  Good luck to you.
332329
it is very difficult to deal with alcholism in the family.\n\na very good advice will be one from Wayne Mehringer, a certified drug and alcohol abuse counselor and program director of the assessment and referral office for IMPACT Alcohol and Other Drug Abuse Services in Milwaukee.\n\nMehringer suggests an intervention first. it is best to ask for the help of professionals or coaches (look under "Alcoholism Information & Treatment Centers" in the Yellow Pages or consult a physician):\n\n1. PLAN THE MEETING. Usually this takes two or three hours with the coach, done in two or three sessions. You'll talk very specifically about what you plan to do in the meeting - who will be there, who will serve as the leader, when and where the meeting will take place. You'll also write statements to share at the intervention meeting that detail your experiences with the person's drinking, and "get rid of anything in the way the drinker could use as an excuse not to listen to you," Mehringer says.\n\nFor example, you might call your mother's boss and ask that Fred be excused from work for a few days to handle an important family matter. Check with her insurance company to see what types of treatments are covered. Set up an alcohol assessment appointment. Tie up all the loose ends in advance so your mother has no chance to lean on an excuse and avoid hearing your message.\n\n2. PRACTICE. "The alcoholic is good at throwing dodges," says Mehringer. So get ready for them. Be prepared for every scenario and emotion, and role-play your way through it a few times. Remember that the alcoholic's barrier of denial probably will be hard at work during the meeting. "The point is to break down that barrier. The alcoholic is good at making you the bad guy," Mehringer says. Practice so you're familiar with that challenging role and so that you can stay on message.\n\n3. CONDUCT THE MEETING. You've planned and practiced, and now comes the real thing. "Remember, you're doing this out of love," Mehringer says. No matter how uncomfortable or hard it gets, present the situation to the person and offer the alternatives. "Sometimes it's super-painful, strict stuff, but you're saving his life," he says.\n\n4. FOLLOW THROUGH. If you said you would no longer pay rent for the person if she continued to drink, don't pay the rent if she continues to drink. If she chose assessment, go with her if she wants. Your mother chooses the path. You simply do what you said you would. By following through, you give meaning to the intervention.\n\nThen you take it from there, realizing you've rearranged the puzzle pieces simply by confronting the person you love and helping her see a new reality. It's hard. It's scary. And it requires faith and courage. "Recovery is a process. Get the process started and keep it going," says Mehringer. "Then you're all right."