How to get back into the dating game after celibacy.?
454747
OK, first may I ask why you gave up sex. So bars aren't your thing, mine either. Me & alcohol don't have a very good relationship either. Have you thought about a co-worker, or going to a very laid-back & upscale lounge sometime afterwork. you may be able to meet someone there. And about telling her about what you have been up to the past 10 years, don't right at first. You seem nice, but she may think you are a freek if you tell her that just after meeting her. Just stay cool & be confident when you meet her. Good luck sweety!!
144360
If your like me, Then it's because you have had some pretty nasty girlfriends who have used and abused you. Today's women can be modivated by greed, selfishness, and the desire to emotionally hurt men for the fun of it. \nBut it does not mean you have to fall for the same trap twice.  read "who moved the cheese" great book for changing your perception in life. \nThe sad part was I brought it on my self because of my low self esteem. \n\nThe best thing you can do is FLUSH the past and start with a clean slate. \nStart by reading books on Self Help, and work to rebuild your Imiage. Smart love is one good book to start with. but by it self it will not get you over the hump. \nAfter you read smart love start dating again. but this time follow some of the advice, and learn to prescreen your dates. your looking for certain things that wave the red flag about a girl, but you want to be subtle in your approace so the girls do not understand. (THE SMART ONES WILL THOUGH ) \nOnce you find a Lady who has passed the first screening, then you can persue this relationship and see what develops. What your looking for is can this woman meet your 5 basic "needs" if you marry her. ( suggest you abstain from sex until you feel she is worth marring her. ) this way you can see if she has the stability to meet the other 4 basic needs. The sex will take care of it self if she does. \nRead His Needs, Her Needs, to understand the differences between men and women in relation to the 5 Basic "NEEDS"\n\nAlso read 7 habits of highly effective people, by Covey\nThis is an AUSOME Book for learning good people skills. \n\n\nGood Luck and God's Blessing be with you.
521176
dont jump into another relationship too quick but try and find another girl to have fun w/. get on an Inet dating service and dont talk about your ex when you go on dates AT ALL. you will want to but DONT. Also when online make sure you spell correct. I could care less but Ive seen plenty of women get turned off by one misspelled word.
126676
You will know when you are ready and you may think you are not ready but if I was you I would give myself a little push and start dating again.. trust me meeting new people and getting out really does make you feel better. Life is too short have fun while you can.
465850
It isn't easy getting back into the dating scene but the good news is that it is possible.  Bookstores are a great starting place because you know that you already have that passion for reading in common with people there.  Start paying attention to who you see there and just like back in high school take time to simply say hi every time you see them.  Look into other interests that you have and how you can connect with similar people by pursuing those interests.  The Internet is actually not a bad place to look either though you do have to be careful and fight through all the idiots.  I would say that the Internet is a lot like the old bar scene where there were a hundred losers per every good person there.  Have faith, I survived to find love again and so will you.
475266
Evidently not. You might try something real - a gym, a church, a softball league, a night class, a club. That way you will enjoy yourself even if you don't hook up with someone the first time, assuming you could lose a few pounds, are religious, like softball, are curious or like something enough to join a club.\n\nThey will be able to see you, too. It is awful easy to lie on the Internet. My uncle the Pope and Bill Gates were talking about that just last night when they came over for pizza and beer.
1105962
You may never get the 'flame' back, but you can definitely stoke the embers and have a nice hot bed of coals!!  Plan surprises... meals in your bedroom spread out on the bed, with foods that lend themselves to play ; pineapple, grapes, honey, whipped cream, chocolate sauce, etc...  or try dating again. If you have kids, shuffle them off to a neighbor or relative for the weekend,  and just have fun together. Play tourists and see your own town like you don't live there. Go out to eat at a restaurant you've never been to before. See a show, or just take a nice, slow walk together. BE together like you used to be when you didn't have kids or a busy life. Try some new lingerie. Make him a basket with new stuff  for the two of you to try together, like warming gels for massages, and toys to try if you are into that. Make a game with your egg timer and some homemade cards; have six small piles of homemade cards that have things on them such as "massage your partners back for 3 minutes" and may go up to any position or act you like. Put the easier, lighter stuff into pile one, and go up to pile six, which will have your "hottest" stuff in it. Roll one dice, and whatever number it lands on, choose a card from that pile and do what it says. Then it's the other persons turn.  The only rule is you CAN'T make love! ( We always end up making love anyway, coz you just can't stand it, but it's fun trying!)    The point is to spend quality time together, and just have fun again!  The rest should all fall right into place!  Good luck!
13465
girl, or what ever you are. Tell them you have to get to know me, and maybe you got to go to the last resort, the church.  If you believe in God, then you should go. There's always somebody you can at least try in church.  Plus they won't try to get into ur panies as quick as some men.  But I promise you whoever you end up with that's the "one" and trust me you'll know who the one is-remember I promised you- you'll be content with them. It's something about love and fate that just trips me out how they truly interact with each other,comebine perfectly and leave you with an epiphany that yo feel as if it were right in your face.
1112281
Relax, it isn't all that hard.  Those of us that have been divorced have all had to go through this whole getting back into the dating scene thing.  In some ways it is like going to a brand new mall.  You have lots of options and are over whelmed at first but then over time you figure out what you are looking for and how to avoid the bad stores and get the best deals.  Your already online so that will make it easier for you to look into a variety of options ranging from chat rooms to dating sites such as yahoo.  The key is to remember, nothing has really changed in the dating world.  You still have to wade through a lot of toads to find your prince.  As for your kids, always remember you are the grownup and don't let them get away with thinking they have the right to control your life.  This is about you being happy and your life beyond them.  Hopefully you will eventually find the right guy and he will win them over.
1102974
Dating is really more challenging than it sounds. We are trained for every other social setting, but like having your first baby, there's no manual than can really prepare you. Most of us flounder and make mistakes and learn from them, and it sounds like you're in that state. Give yourself permission to not be perfect at something you're learning to do, and let what has happened in the past become a tool to take you where you want to go. Here's a site with some tips and ideas: http://www.vitaminsdiary.com/dating/\n. If you keep trying, the man you're looking for will come. \n\nRegards,\n~Tia~\nLive from the big, purple brain\nhttp://advision.webevents.yahoo.com/asktheplanet/brain.html\nASK YOUR QUESTIONS, CALL THE BRAIN - 212-382-3592
107893
Do not waste your good looks and intelligence by following the ways of the world.  Seek the narrow gate.  Few be those who find it.  Most are on the broad road to destruction.  Seek to be in the same company as Noah and his small brood, who were chosen to survive the flood which killed billions.  Seek to be in the select company of Lot, who survived the fiery destruction of the dead sea valley cities including Sodom and Gomorrah.  Even Lot's wife did not escape, as she turned back longing for the worldly pleasures of those sinful cities.\n\nAbstain from all fornication and worldly sin.  Submit only to a righteous man of God, whom you marry.  Be fruitful and multiply with him.  Be as the virtuous woman of Proverbs 31.  Find a King James Bible and read this chapter carefully.\n\n"Religion" does not usually save you, as it is just a crude and usually commercial attempt by man at communing with God.  Walking with God is a wholly individual preoccupation, wholly between you and the Creator.\n\nMay God call you aside to be one of his saints.  May God bless you truly.
557816
Hmmmm... I think that you might want to seek professional help with this problem.  See the thing is confidence isn't something that you can teach.  A professional might be able to help you unwrap why you are not confident to begin with, but I am not sure anybody is going to have a magic pill for you.  Well here goes something.  Dude, the key to sexual prosperity, is rejection.  I know that sounds dumb but listen, every time your faced with an attractive woman, you get tense and lock up why? because you're afraid of being rejected and feeling like a loser right?  Well just decide not to feel that way (easier said than done but it doesn't have to be hard).  Try this exercise, go to a bar, and identify 5 women that you are attracted to, and go and introduce yourself, i promise at least 1 will want to at least TALK to you, and then when you feel a bit more confident with talking you can start romancing.  See love, and dating and courtship is a numbers game, and every time you hear a no that is one less you have to hear till you INEVITABLY get a yes.  There are like a billion people in India right? 500,000,000 women, trust me at least 100,000 will want to talk to you or go out on a date with you.  So never take anything a woman says personally, and welcome rejection, as one less hurdle to your inevitable GUARANTEED success, and you may find that you can talk to women after-all.  Good luck bro, and I hope this helps.  I know it sounds crazy but trust me it works.
916574
Men talk and they keep track of women who allow themselves to be used for sex. Stop hanging out in the places you are known to be seen in(such as bars/clubs). Find out where good men go in your area ---- my best dates have been with men I have met at the grocery store and the bookstore/library.\n  Don't have affairs -  and present yourself as a lady. Ask close family/friends  to help you find someone who's nice to date...or even try a dating service (one that is well established and has a good reputation).
260875
You are looking for the most rare of breed of man.\nI you are looking for the 'same' sort of man you were going out with then you might need 'clouser' on your last relationship, this happens to everyone, you have an inprint of that relationship, sounds odd i know, (been there, t-shirt worn).\nyou are going to have to start on level 1 again, you cant go in to a new relationships with a battleplan, you may not know that you are doing this but its clear to others.\nas for A REAL person and a REAL relationship, there is two things you can do, first, keep trying as hard as you can, push rush looking for that right man, or enjoy who you might find, take it as it comes, you might not get anther chance.\nO and for all the guys who stood you up, I'll have a word, shame on them!\nhope this helps.\n\n - Mr Right (answer)
465848
Go to Church!\n\n\n-LOVE YOUR NIEGHBOR AS YOURSELF
355280
Try volunteering for something in your community. Go to the library. Join a gym. Ask your friends to set you up on dates. Play a co-ed recreation sport like softball. Elections are on the way. Volunteer your time to a candidate that you like. You will meet many new people that way. Just think outside the norm. Do things that you enjoy and eventually you could meet a woman that enjoys the things you do.
806045
My friend thank you for having enough courage to ask this question.  There are answers.  We have had many just like you in Shattered Men ask this and they have found healing.  \n\nYou can start over again and become a new person.  PLEASE contact me