How can I make matters right with my husband?
441657
He was right to be hurt. Right to worry and be worried sick. He was right to be angry because you completely blew off his fears and hell he would go through if you went missing for so long without checking in. However...he DID NOT have a right to hit you. This isn't the 1940's when women thought they have physical abuse coming for something they did. You need to understand that no physical violence is "acceptable" no matter how bad you screwed up. MY soon to be ex wife cheated on me with a man and then a woman while I was in Iraq. I didn't touch her. I may not have respected her as my "wife" but she's still the mother of my children. Give him some time to think this through. Be there at the house like you normally are. Do all the things you usually do like dinner, the kids....\nShow him you want this life with him. It'll help him see what he has and what he could lose unless he realizes what you mean to him. When he's calmed down he'll want to know more. He'll ask again to see if the story changes. Keep to the truth no matter how it might look. He needs to understand you will not put up with physical abuse ever again. Good luck and I hope you two can fix this.  Compared to the reasons for my divorce, yours are easy to repair with love, faith, trust and friendship.
92807
Get to the root of the problem.  Find out what doesn't make him happy living with you. Listen to him acknowledge him his voice. Try to work it out between both of you.  There is an answer.
1179387
Many times we take our frustration and or anger out on the person who is closest to us which is usually the one we love the most! Plan a "date night" with your husband! Tell him in advance that the two of you are going out to dinner together. Pick a restaurant that both of you enjoy. Wear something you know he finds sexy on you. Once this day comes, you are going to start off with a whole new attitude! You are going to be more positive about things. Yes there are things that will get us down but don't let it keep you down, no more S.H.I.T. !!!! From here on you are going to see the brighter side of things! That evening at dinner talk about all of the wonderful things the TWO of you have done TOGETHER! Reminisce about your wedding day, anything of the wonderful things that two of you have done! Also, tell him how after dinner you are going to take him home and the two of you are going to get absolutely wild in bed! After this, wake up each day and realize how good you have things. A wonderful, loving husband, a good family life and all of the other things you may have! Take a positve outlook on things and you will stop giving him that other thing you mentioned. By doing this you will help yourself mostly but also your marriage too!\nGood luck!
682150
I think a husband should be open and honest with his wife.  If he disagrees with something, he should say so.  It doesn't make for a healthy relationship if you bottle it all up and pretend to go along with things all the time.  She needs to know you have thoughts and feelings too, and she needs to be prepared to face them.  It doesn't have to be a blazing row, either.  Civil discussions can be had...
185789
love him more ,do what he likes as long as it doesnt bother you ,let him think that you cant do any thing without him ,(but of cource you can ) these tiny things moves there head dear \ndo it and see
184424
It's a never ending battle to keep things exciting, isn't it? I am a firm believer that doing things together and doing things for each other (like making a nice dinner, buying a small gift, etc.) are keys too keeping a fun and loving relationship. Doing things you both can enjoy like: a hike, rock climbing, going to a concert/theater...whatever your interests are. Find something for both of you to do..I personally like playing sports or doing something active with my husband because it helps improve our "team work", and if you can work together while playing sports or something that requires a sort of team like atmosphere, then working on your relationship will be easier.\nEven something like doing yard work or cooking together can create a bond.\nGood luck, I hope this helps.
560058
Before you take advice from people you don't know.  You need to first listen to you.  If you love him and think you can make this marriage work, then try to work things out.  \n\nYou are right, the 1st year (and a few more) are hard, but that doesn't mean give up! I read your other question, and I don't think you got the "best" advice.  Consider the sources... (and here I'm talking and you don't know me from the rest of them!) \n\nBut I will say, go to someone who knows the two of you, someone who can be a voice of reason. And have that person mediate the issues you are having with your husband.  A good councilor will be able to help you there.  Find one. \n\nMy marriage ended over stupid stuff.  Things that could have easily been handled in an adult way, and fixed.  If you love your husband, go the hard road and try to forgive and get to the bottom of your issues.\n\nFor the fourth time tonight, I will suggest a few books that I believe could have saved my marriage if I had them before it was over...\n\n1. The Five Love Languages- Probably my favorite... it talks about the different "languages" of love we can offer to each other. Everyone has one or two that are their main love language, and if you are not communication to you spouse in THEIR love language, then they probably won't feel loved... great book.\n\n2. Love and Respect- it talks about the different needs of a husband and a wife. It relates to each of you. It's split in certain areas to directly talk to you and to your husband. It talks about how women see things thru "pink glasses" and men see things thru "blue glasses". It's eye opening...It's wonderful.\n\n3. Friendship Factor- This one is SO basic. It was like a light going off in my head each time I turned a page. It helps you realte to others better as WELL as your husband.\n\nI would read them in that order...together with your husband. You can find them in the Christian/ Religious section of most bookstores. And don't worry, they aren't overly "holy" if you are weirded out by Christian books. It's just that God designed man and woman for each other, and boy oh boy does HE have some good principles to build on. The books are very relatable and easy to read quickly.\n\nGo get advice from a source that you can trust. Know that my heart is with you as you are suffering.  And I hope that you can see past this incident, and try to make some sort of sense of the issues you are having.
820492
You need to let him know that while you are married to him you are not his possession.... you are not a TV or a couch, or a car! He has proven his love for you in marriage but being your husband is a privilege and a joy that he needs to earn everyday... and in return there is no greater gift in the world than a woman who feels respected, loved and desired by her man... My wife is the best part of my life and there is nothing that I would not do for her... Your hubby needs to not take you for granted just because you said "I DO"... he should be romantic and earn your love!
47550
Keep the communication flowing, always make time for each other. APPRECIATE one another. Always have a "date" night. Don't dwell on the bad things but when the bad things creep into your mind, make yourself remember a good time or a nice thing your spouse did for you. Don't be a nagger. And if all else fails, make love and forget about it. \n\nAnd if none of that works seek counseling.
95850
Compromise, compromise, compromise. My husband and I are both very stong willed, hard headed individuals. But when you learn the art of compromise it a breeze! It is hard not to always be right all the time, but then how fair would that be if you were all the time? Good luck!
983837
Find a support system. Though a husband is supposed to be part of it. Get out there and make friends, people who share your interests and viewpoints. On the husband, make mentions of whats going on in your mind. He may feel as insecure as you do about living in this new place and may not know how to comfort you if he cannot do it for himself. Most people keep things inside and queitly seeth. Its rare to find people who can communicate well in a relationship. Find someway to open the lines.
184090
Be gracious, and of course, it is always respectful to respond with "Yes/No Ma'am/Sir." Above all, be sure not to forget or ignore your husband in trying to tend to them, that wouldn't be very good. Be yourself, even if you are nervous, maintain eye contact when you are talking with them. Smile often, and be sure to thank them for bringing such a wonderful person into the world and rearing him as well as they did. If you think it is appropriate, you could say something like, "I have been so excited yet sort of nervous about meeting you both, even though (husband's name) told me there was no need to be nervous." I think you'll have to make that call on what the atmosphere is like. They already know at this point in life that you will be feeling somewhat nervous, at least it shows you are up-front and honest. You all already have something in common, you all love your husband...But anyway, be yourself, treat them as you would anyone else you appreciate and respect, they did raise your husband, after all:)\n\nI'm sorry--I missed the extra details that you added at the bottom. Well, the above all still applies; the fact that so much time has passed will naturally feel a little weird for everyone involved at first anyway, but "better late than never." I believe that it is a person's heart and character that matter, not race. Hold your head up high and maintain grace of character, regardless of if they have issues or whatever:)
218972
go to counseling together a few times before you marry him, just to be sure he doesn't have some deep rooted problem...the counseling will give you an insight to the problem and show you if you can deal with it....
895097
The key to every realationship is to talk...talk....talk....talk. You can't fix your spouse, only yourself.  Look at the part you played in this misunderstanding, and then appologize.  Don't yell or call names.  Don't should on your spouse.  (you should have said this you should have said that)  \n\nblessings
280188
IF YOU DO HE WILL ALWAYS HAVE SOMETHING OVER YOU,\nTRY TO TALK IT OVER WITH YOUR HUSBAND.\nHOPE IT WORKS OUT FOR YOU.
418874
Its possible that both of you are trying to fill the roles of wife and husband. What I mean is not seeing each other as people,not dealing with things as they are but trying to do things as you think they should be dealt with. Maybe he thinks he should be in charge, telling you what to do what to spend. I think its time you 2 have a good long talk and find out how each of you really feels clear the air. Oh one other thing to think about your at that stage in a relationship where your past the first glow of love and seeing him as he really is, time to work at the relationship build it up or see if it can be worked out.
1182083
Dude, I am 16 yrs older than my husband and we have a very healthy relationship. He keeps me happy and I allso keep him happy. Of course there are some differences,but communication is the best way to keep your relationship Strong and fulfilled.