Looking for some nasty practical jokes to play on a co-worker that I dislike without being caught!?
439173
This isnt really nasty but it would be funny. Buy a fake lottery scratch off ticket from party usa or the internet and drop it buy her desk or where ever she will find it. They are all winners for big amounts of money so when she scratches it she will think she won, she might even possibly quit her job because she thinks she won some big money. HEHE
729654
As soon as you enter the office, say to yourself----"IT's SHOWTIME!"\n    tHen you pretend you are an actor, and that you have to be nice and cool to this co-worker.  Or you can just simply IGNORE HER, close your eyes and ears whenever she's around.  Get an Ipod, and listen to it when she's there.  Keep yourself extremely busy so you won't have space for her.
813094
Report him to the corporate office.  If he owns the business, then no you can't really do much of anything.  Just spread the word that he's awful to the employees and don't support his business.  Maybe he'll shut down.
874197
lol damn you sound like an interesting guy! Is there any way you can spike others peoples drinks?the more pissed they are the less you'll stand out... you should come  to my work do and brighten it up a little! :p
413929
Tell her to stop hanging around him or just to simply state that she's not interested and that he needs to keep his grubby paws to himself. If she's actually told him to stop before and he won't listen, then that can fall under "sexual battery". If it's in the workplace, even better. The sparks will really fly at the first mention of sexual harrassment cause no employer wants to get sued.
914454
Tell her that she is an idiot and that when you become office manager her job is ended!!!! Peace out!!!!!
1091159
Whats worse than coming home with lipstick on your collar?\nLeg make-up on your ears.\n\n\nTwo roosters in a rainstorm....\nOne did a bolt for the shed...\n the other did a duck under the house!!\n\nA young man making love to a very large lady. She knew he was getting close and asked, "Did you take any precaution?"\n"Yes," he replied, "I've tied my feet to the end of the bed!"\n\nTwo ladies chatting over a cuppa.\n"Sad about your husband dying, but why have you been telling people he died of gonorrhea when it was diarrhoea?"\n"oh," said the other, "I just wanted people to remember him as a great lover, not the big shitter he really was!"\n\nA man wakes in the hospital after a nasty accident.\n"I have good news and I have bad news," said the doctor.\n"what's the bad news?" asked the patient.\n"well we've had to amputate both your feet,"  said the doctor.\n"hell," said the patient, "what's the good news?"\n"well," said the doctor, "the bloke next to you wants to buy your slippers!"\n\nThat's enough from me!! enjoy!!
955580
be the bigger person and say nothing, just deal with him. as u get older u will learn that in the workplace its basically the same , there will probably be somebody that u don't like but u have to deal with it, don't let him get the best of u and u will always come out the real winner
1056811
giving someone a dirty look?
39588
I feel for you. I don't know if you can in the UK but you can in the U.S. Just fire them on the grounds of bad hygiene.Get someother people to sign a statement saying that this person has very bad hygiene. Then if you get took to court for firing them you will have proof. And I do not know any Judge that would expect you to smell someones body odor. Good luck.  Or get a clothes pin! lol.
633594
call one of your workers into the room preferably a small guy,then to blow off some steam proceed to batter his head of the wall over and over until you are satisfied.if this doesn't work buy a punching bag and imagine your with one of you most hateed colleagues it always works for me
489684
Get someone esle to do the damn dirty work for you!
235245
We were eating at a restaurant,and my friends new girlfriend left to go to the toilet..\nAs soon as she left,i told him that if he wants to impress her,that he should arrange for the waiters to come sing a birthday song for her as it is her birthday (which it wasn't)\nWhen she came back from the toilet,they sang to her and she didn't know what was going on..\n\nShe got embarresed and he felt like a fool...\nBest prank I've pulled.
276273
best thing to do is for you not to wash, go in to work, shove your armpit in his face and scream "HOWD YOU LIKE IT!"\nAnd then spit on him
1141443
Lol, no you can't duct tape her mouth shut. I also don't think you should let her get out of doing the job because then other employees may get the wrong idea and start complaining so that they can get out of things too. I think you really need to tell her that she has to stop because she is bothering customers and let her know that if she doesn't there will be consequences.
432654
Ask 1 of ur pals to distract the friend!
555676
yeah OK I have a great 2 jokes for you here but be prepared that they are somewhat well just wrong hehehe ok here we go! enjoy!\n\n#1- A mild-mannered man was tired of being bossed around by his wife,so he went to a psychiatrist,who told him he needed to build self-esteem and gave him a book on assertiveness.\n   After reading the book on the way him,he stormed into the house and declared, "I want you to know I am the man of the house,and my word is law."I want you to prepare me a gourmet meal tonight.THen after dinner,you are going to draw my bath so I can relax ,and when I'm finished with my bath,guess who is going to dress me and comb my hair?"\n           His wife responded, "THE FUNERAL DIRECTOR."\n\n#2-A husband is at home watching a football game when his wife interrupts, "Honey,could you fix the light in the hallway? It's been flickering for weeks now"He looks at her and says angrily, "Fix the light" NOw does it look like I have a G.E.O Logo printed on my forehead? I don't think so."\n   Well then,could you fix the fridge door? It won't close right". To which he replied, "Fix the fridge door? Does it look like I have WestingHouse written on my forehead? I don't think so"."Fine," She says "Then you could at least fix the steps to the front door? They're about to break".\n"I'm not a damn Carpenter and I don't want to fix the steps." "Does it look like I have Ace Hardware written on my forehead? I don't think so.I've had enough of you. I'm going to the bar!!"\n   So he goes to the bar and drinks for a couple of hours.\nHe starts to feel guilty about how he treated his wife,and decides to go home and help out.As he walks into the house he notices the steps are already fixed.As he enters the house,He sees the hall light is working,the fridge door is fixed.\n"Honey, How'd all this get fixed? She said, "Well, when you left I sat outside and cried.Just then a nice young man asked me what was wrong, and I told him.He offered to do all the repaires,and all I had to do was either go to bed with him or bake a cake."\nHe said, "So what kind of cake did you bake him?" She replied, "HELLOOOOO..... Do you see Betty Crocker written on my forehead?"\n\n#3- A very sexually active woman tells her plastic surgeon that she wants her vagina lips reduced in size because they were flapping in the breeze.Out of emabarrassment she insisted that the surgery be kept a secret and the surgeon agreed.\n  A wakening from the anesthesia after the surgery,she found three roses carefully placed beside her bed.Outraged,she immediately calls in the doctor. "I thought I asked you not to tell anyone about my operation!"\n   The surgeon told her he had carried out her wish for confidentiality and that the first rose was from him: "I felt sad because you went through this by yourself."\n   "The second rose is from my nurse.She assisted me in the surgery and empathized because she had had the same procedure done some time ago."\n   "And what about the third rose?" she asked.\n"Oh,that rose is from the man upstairs in the burn unit.He wanted to thank you for his new ears.