Need someone to talk to! Husband is deployed and I'm really worried about him!?
445213
My husband was deployed for 14 months so I know what you are going through. Thank goodness my husband is home now and I wish your husband a safe and quick return also. You can e-mail me at thetravelingmartins@yahoo.com. I will be more than happy to talk with you. I few suggestions to make the time pass are send your husband a care package every week or every other week. Take a calendar and put an X through each day that has passed by. Use the time to discover more about yourself. E-mail me and I will give you some ideas of what you can send him to show that you care for him. Trust me, your husband will appreciate this. Many of my husband's friends came home from Iraq and discovered that their wives had left them and taken all of their money. Anyways, I hope this helps.\n\nNote- to the person who wrote about the FRG. Not every FRG is a good group. Mine was nothing but a gossip and husband bashing group.
862536
Wow, that must be really difficult to come to terms with. I'm very sorry to hear about such a thing. Although I myself have not been in any situation like that I can sympathise with you. My very close friend has simular problems growing up. We had been friends for years before she finally told me recently about it. Had I knowen when it was going I probably would have tried to stop it. But we live in the now. \n  I would suggest definantly talking with someone about it who you can trust and is understanding. You need an emotional crutch to lean on while you build yourself up and make yourself stronger. You have made it this far. All you can really do is continue to live. Talk with someone. Come to terms with it as hard as that might be. Confront it. I would also suggest you find an interest that you can totally bury yourself in. Going to the gym on a regular basis helps with all kinds of stress. \n  I can only hope that you do what you can to deal with this. I hope the best for you. And one more thing, its never your fault, you can always rise above anything if you try. Take good care of yourself. I don't pray much even while I'm deployed, but I'll talk to the big guy and ask him if he'll help you out. \n   Peace in the MIddle East!
1075939
Deployments never get easier.  My husband is now looking at his 3rd deployment to Iraq, and I feel the same way I did when we got news of the 1st one.  I know when he does deploy, the first couple months will be the hardest, and then I will get back into my routine of being a single mother again, waiting faithfully for his call or a chance to IM and see him on the web cam.  \nJust keep yourself surrounded by positive people, other military wives, and your FRG.  \nIt is a given, as soon as he deploys something always happens at home, the car breaks down, the washing machine quits on you, the kids get sick, ( my sons appendix ruptured 3 days after my husband deployed last time).  Remember that you are not alone.\nIf you need someone to talk to feel free to contact me anytime.\nGOD BLESS OUR TROOPS
867922
It's only natural for a husband , or wife, to be feeling that way; especially since you two will be apart. It's sad to say, but since I live on a military base, you do see ALOT of that going on and maybe that's also why he feels the way he does. Alot of other soldiers may be putting "so-called" thoughts into his head, also. All you can do is be honest, sincere, faithful, and loving. Hopefully he will have enough faith in you to trust you completely. Being too jealous and suspicious can certainly pull people apart, also.
12405
I have a Husband who is in the Air Foce and is deployed right now. I also have a brother in law who is Deployed. I have Alot of friends in the military as well that are deployed. My cousin too. My whole family has in ome point been military.
285024
If he wants to find you he will. It must be very difficult to deal with this right now! I can only imagine how awful you must feel. I recently lost contact with someone myself, and I just stay focused on work and family and try to let time pass. Each day gets better. Talking really helps too, so maybe counseling would help (I have not done this yet, but want to.)
286869
I've been there.  My husband was in Iraq in 03-04.  It's a long road ahead of you, but it is possible to get through it.  I promise.  Things are going to change for you like you would never believe.  You'll learn so much about yourself and what you're capable of, as well as your husband.  I had a 3 year old daughter and gave birth to another daughter while he was away.  Do you have children?  If so, spend your time playing and laughing.  That's what got me through.  We put together boxes for him and painted a pillowcase with our handprints on it for him to sleep on.  \n\nYou will learn to change the way you live to accomodate your new lifestyle.  Don't be afraid to meet new friends.  I cried myself to sleep many, many nights....but it would have been many, many more if I hadn't had friends to keep my mind off of him.  You can't dwell on this constantly or it will control you.  \n\nWhen you two meet again, on his R&R and when he returns, things will be different.  Know this now and accept it.  You will be a different woman also.  You may have to begin again in so many ways, but it's worth it.  you two will have been through something that no one can take away from you.  Good luck.  I'm here if you need me no matter when it is...laurenehooper@yahoo.com
528509
I'm in the army and so is my husband.  you never get use to it it always sucks.  Just try not to dwell on it.  Try to stay occupied with something while he is gone and live for the moment when he is there.  I read a lot of books or make quilts while my husband is away or browse on here.  In fact, my husband is gone for a month right now.
695537
Read your papers everyday. Don't worry. I am a military wife and I know how it feels not to hear from someone who's over there. Don't think the worst. There are many reasons why they may not be able to call you. When my husband was over there, someone compromised the unit by revealing to much info to a loved one on the phone. Consequently, they weren't able to call home for two weeks. Also they may be moving and they may not be able to communicate in anyway. If you have contact info, write or email. Many soldiers (along with everyone else now!) have Myspace pages. See if they have one. Next of kin is contacted as soon as all of the proper procedures are complete. The person the soldier listed on his paperwork is the person that will be called. It is not always a spouse or a parent. After that, it is up to that person to contact everyone. But please, be patient, relax, and pray. Things are tough but you will be okay and he is ok.
712375
My husband is in the military.  We were engaged when he was in Germany and I was in Michigan.  We married when he returned and moved to Fort Jackson, SC.  The move was easy, the military moves you.  Just say good bye to friends and family and keep in touch with them.  Being deployed is a worry I have every day.  He already has been once.  It is probabley the hardest thing anyone goes through.  You just have to be ready, be supportive, be faithful, and be sensitive to your man.  Good Luck and God bless.
546201
Hey girl My husband just got back from a year long deployment but he was gone for a total of a year and a half. I was pregnant with our first child and it was hard! Here are some tips that helped keep us together:\n\nWrite a journal between the two of you. You write in it for a couple days and tell him EVERYTHING that happens then send it to him and ask him to do the same.\n\nDon't freak out if he doesn't call you. Remember no news is good news. If something happens to him they will know and will contact his family who will contact you.\n\nTell him everything when he calls, big stuff first and then the little stuff. All they want to hear about is something outside of the war. If he starts talking about it, listen. He probably needs to get it off his chest. \n\nCommunication is key! Write him letters every once in awhile. Let him know you always think of him. Send him cards when you see a cute one in the store, there doesnt need to be a reason. Send care packages just to let him know you care. Send something for each and every holiday no matter how small.\n\nYou will be ok. Get involved with his FRG she will have all the updates you will need and there will be other wives and families and gf/bf's that are going through the same thing you are.\n\nMy husbands unit only lost 15 people out of thousands. They are taking many measure to provide ultimate safty. Don't worry too much just be there for him and keep him in your prayers. If you need to talk and you don't have anyone there to talk to contact me. I am a soldier my self so I may be able to answer some ?'s.
106512
There are many places to go.  One website i suggest is http://www.sarahsmiley.com/military_links.htm#Support_Links  This place helped my friend when her husband went away.  Good Luck and God bless your wife and your family.
421157
You can't say anything to him. He may have survivors guilt or PTSD, either way all you can do is let him know you are there for him. \n\nI have a "friend" who was in the service and has PTSD. I will never fully or even partially comprehend what exactly he went through But I let him know I am here for him. I also did some research on PTSD, so I would have an understand of what it is and how it affects someone. \n\nThe one thing you might try, is talking to your husband about joining a Veterans organization....Such as the Veterans of Foreign Wars in your area. Being around people that have been through what my Friend has been through seemed to help him. \n\nI hope this helps.
827640
I'm sorry this is happening to you.  However, the military DOES have programs for this.  When my hubby returned from Iraq, he went through about a week of classes.  One full day of that, I had to attend as well.  It was basically "mandatory" that spouses attend.  They even provided free childcare at the counseling location.  It was a very good program too.  I'm positive it helped some of those returning who might have had problems adjusting.\n\nI realize you're already divorced, but maybe you can get him to talk to someone.  I don't know if he or you has moved on.  If not, it might not be too late.  Go talk to the chaplain of his NG unit to find out what's available to him as far as counseling.  Some of the problem might be that nothing is available in that area.  I do know that many of the Reserve and NG units are now being counseled at the post they process out from.  It's being done here.  \n\nBe strong and know this wasn't your fault.  War/combat changes people.  He probably didn't understand these changes or know how to deal with them.  You might want to seek counseling alone to learn how to talk to him and deal with some of what he's gone through even though you're divorced.\n\nGood luck.
1055336
First off...be there for him.  If he needs someone to talk to, or someone to write letters of support...be there.  \nGo to www.anysoldier.com    you can send care packages to soldiers who don't get mail.  They're relatively cheap, i do it all the time.  \nAlso...don't forget the people left at home.  If you know family of deployed soldiers....spouses, children, mothers, etc...let them know how much u appreciate their loved one, and help them in any way you can.  Whether it's babysitting for a night, or helping with chores at home, it IS a way of supporting your troops.  It makes sure they have a happy household to come home to.  \nGood luck in whatever you do, and from a military spouse, thank you for your support!
786863
If he didn't leave you a number in which to contact him while away, sounds like he's up to no good....and the people he either works or socializes with have probably been covering him, so I think you will have to wait until he returns ....at which point, I'd set him down for some serious talking...good luck!
957098
PTSD is such a difficult thing to deal with--for both the sufferer and those around them, as I'm sure you know. I'm glad your loved one is getting help (counceling, I hope, and meds.)\n\nMany times, the majority of attention is paid to the sufferer and there is very little thought into how the caretaker is doing. Your health is just as important as his--you need to provide strength and have the will to help him through the roughest of times. \n\nI dealt with PTSD a few years ago, and though it wasn't nearly as bad as the trauma of war, I'm sure, it's stil hell. \n\nHave you ever had a nightmare where you swore it was real, then woke up and were so relieved it was just a dream? This is a diluted example of what PTSD is like--only it's all the time, day or night. He's probably reliving the trauma--people dying, constant uneasiness, being prepared for the worst at all times. \n\nI recommend making your home as much of a sanctuary for him as possible. Put on some soothing music, light a few lavender-scented candles and keep the atmosphere as calm as possible. The key here is to limit the amount of situations where he can become startled or be reminded of his time in the military, which may be what's leading to these "fits." \n\nAgain, I'm so glad he's getting help, but be sure to monitor your health as well. If you feel overwhelmed, it might be time to see a councelor who can listen to and understand what you're going through. \n\nGood luck!