what if i care nothing about spending time with husband and dread bed time?
452612
Its sad to say it, but usually when porn comes into the mix, it means that others things are too. What if your kids see that? You sound like you really care about your kids...So before you do anything rash sit down and talk. Its funny to say, but communication is the key, get everything off of your chest and tell him how you feel..because then if things don't work out at least you will know that you tried...if you don't try you might always think...What if I made a huge mistake, by talking to him you will know for sure what to do and it wont be a suprise to him when you tell him. Do what is best for you and your kids, dont put you or your children in a possesion that you don't feel safe. You should never have to dread your husband coming home you should be able to enjoy your family. And the whole sex thing...How dare he think that after he treats you like that he can just have his way with you.... Sex is between a husband and wife and it is a very sacred and special thing it should not be used to make the other feel belittled. Good luck I really hope all goes well for you and your kids.
574189
He may be feeling like these are his last days of "freedom" and the ability to come and go as he pleases.  You can't make him stay home with you, he'll only wind up resenting the situation.  All you can do is tell him honestly what your needs are and that even though the baby has not arrived yet, his presence with you helps you feel secure and less anxious of the future.  A guys night out even once a week or so is not bad.  But if he's out all of the time, you need to find out why he is reluctant to spend this quality time together.  Also, can you compromise by the two of you going out together sometimes?\n\neditted to add:\nAnd dear lord, do not let people tell you that pregnant women can not be sexy or that you are used goods.  You have a precious life growing inside and any real man would recognize that for the miracle that it is.  A less confident man may not.  Also, I got pg out of wedlock.  I am now happily (usually, lol) married with 2 beautiful children and even if the future would change with my husband, I would never ever regret the experience because I have the 2 greatest joys of my heart sleeping upstairs from me.
367509
Tell your husband you don't like hanging around with them and why.  If the reason is good then he will probally respect your wishes and plan less things together as a group.
1030043
who cares what others think? I'm 20 and watch Blue's Clues, Sesame Street, and Rugrats... ect.,\n- wasting your time? Nothings too important you can't spare a half hour to an hour in the morning. \n-no, if you have a kid then go ahead, if you're married see if your hubby also would sit there and watch it without annoying you but why ruin your 'moment' of alone time with the dinosour?\n-hey, I'm living at home, rent is too high and will continue to live at home for a while, nothing to be ashamed about.\n- let them stare, throw something at them or make funny faces... maybe you should pick your nose?
771968
Honey\n\nYou and your hubby need to move out!\n\nEven if you have to live in a small dump, its better than putting up with the stress!!\n\nMove out soon!
764330
What, no breast milk?  No co-pregnancy? No domestic violence? No grandmothers in the Tower of Silence?  Where is your usual sick material?  Are you feeling well?\n\nYes, you were a bad girl.  You should not manipulate your husband.  Apologize to him and take your punishment!
923095
Screen your phone calls and answer when it conveniences you.  I wouldn't completely ignore her, but also set a time when you won't answer the phone anymore (example after 9:30pm).  You and your husband having time alone without being interupted is very important.
1048129
Sheesh, want to switch with my wife she never lets me tell her what to do. I am 6'3" and she just a tiny 5'2" but she is the boss. No really your both adults, work it out, talk, communicate, tell him what you want to do and why and listen to his answers. Maybe he feels guilty that the first house you bought wasn't as big or as nice as he thought it would be. I don't know, but without talking to him, you won't know either. Talking to people on line is not going to get it done either. Sounds to me like your tired and frustrated and will continue to be until you two talk it out. There are no stead fast rules or anything on what you are allowed and not allowed to due in most places in the U.S. and I  have to assume it is not a religeous prohibatation as your talking about it on the internet. Talk to him, if you can't talk to him, write him a letter. If worse comes to worse neither of you will be happy.
178798
It's hard to feel in the mood when you are tired and you feel like you hardly have time for each other or yourself, is it possible to find someone who could take the kids for an afternoon so that you can have some me time and then you could have a meal together jus the two of you.  It wouldn't have to be that often maybe once a month just to relax wind down and be a couple again.\n\nYou deserve some time to yourselves and kids are exhausting little darlings!\n\nAlso think about taking ginseng I know it is excellent for men to help raise thier .. libido and it also works for women.  Takes a couple of weeks to start to feel the benefit but it does actually work woo hoo You might want to think about multi vitamins as well and at your diet to be sure you are getting all you need to be healthy.\n\nIts time to think of yourself as a valuable person who needs taking care of your family depends on their being a healthy relationship between you and your man.\ngood luck X
940513
I'm in same boat with my hubby i'm lucky i'm on computer now to answer this the way he hogs the computer.   Give him errans to run and if you want to spend time with him find things you know he'll want to do like go to a guy flick.  I finally got hubby off to go see saw 111.  Try creative things he may be feeling bored and games are is only outlet.  I try and play games with him i hate it but at least we;re together.  Also be open about how you feel i did and he cut his game playing in half lol i'm working on the other half now lol
991082
I hate it if my husband falls asleep on the couch or isn't ready to go to bed when I am and I have to sleep alone. Maybe you could get a bigger bed or talk to the doctor about it, maybe you need some sleeping pills.
1059849
i know how you feel.  except mine is a 3 year old tantrum king!  spouse is deployed and we're far from home so i feel your pain...almost like being a single parent.  i enrolled him in a day program.  i feel like such a better parent when i see him.  i have a chance to miss him.  he is soooo feisty and just an all around boy he drives me nuts so having him burn his energy for 4 hours a day and then coming home...he's nice and relaxed and doesn't fight me when it's bed time.   also, you probably heard the saying.....terrible 2's, horrible 3's......lol
935528
Wow...my husband could have wrote this...\n\nI have been married seven years (have two children ages 6 and 2) and have become separated (haven't filed for divorce yet)...for me the sex was always bad (and I do love it...which is something he would never believe).  I will say you do a lot more than he ever did but it doesn't sound like you guys are going down the right path...you are not doing anything wrong, it is her.  I know you love her but you have to stop most of the things (the dates, flowers, etc...) they are just a waste right now...she is a full time housewife so the fact that she is not even cleaning etc... sound to me she might be depressed (how is she with the kids)...she sounds like me almost 100% (I should mention that I work FULL TIME...always did since my kids were 3 months old both) but instead of watching tv till 1am I would rather play poker or be on the computer (which pisses him off)...for him I am always tired he says, but when it comes to other people or things he says I have energy...which I guess is true.  \n\nYou're gonna have to sit her down and have a really good talk with her or go for some marriage counseling before it is too late...\n\nE-mail me if you want to talk...
560150
It would depend on which way the ball's rolling.  Is it that YOU don't feel the spark for your husband, or He is no longer attracted to you?  If you don't want to, it could be from being tired from your duties as a mother, in which case you need some rest and some time off, maybe a night or two away with your husband.  It could be from post-partum depression, in which case you probably need to see a Dr. (don't ask Tom Cruise).  If HE is not attracted, walk around the house naked.\n\n(added later) I like opyankees idea, about the panties at the dinner table.  Awesome.
1049554
Yeah! These people are aTTACKers, aren't they...but helpful, too. Don't delete your question because I'ma watchin' it, girlfriend!\nWell, I say if he has the NERVE to check you on YOUR DAILY WORK, then you can get that same nerve.  \n\nThat is the trade-off, right.  And he wouldn't want to switch with you.  Tell him on a Saturday morning or a day off to track what the heck he does all day! Projects take longer than men think.  I like to get everything done in the 1st two hours of of the morning hustlin. Then, no matter what I do it's just done and the happy husbands off\nmy friggin' back.  \n\nTell him if you spent as much time cleaning up after HIM as you \ndid on the other household, necessary daily chores, he'd HAVE\nthe neat, sparkly perfect home he desired.  He'll get mad, that's just that tender little species of fragility and gentleness called\nTHE MALE EGO.\n\nTo those people who are working do NOT assume SAHM is\na dream job.  Its not for lazy bums.  Not the hardest work, \nbut important and challenging, more than you'd think.
969628
do it if you have a free time, and take rest about half an hour between once and another, but don't make it affect your regular life,like:work,sleep,social life,sports,watching TV.\ndon't make your wife bored by that.
1083760
The root to your problem lack of conversation,....If there anything not right goin on , the best way to solve it is to talk openly to each other. Say your husband is up set over something that happen between his in-laws & him sometime ago, n he's not happy being with them....but for me at least he's willing to join you guy for a week. For me that's fair....Talk to your husband n make him feel good for his sacrifice....Then your job is to tell your family that your hubby has something to do........Time will heel things.....But never ever compare anybody with the past or with another person....Things can go very bad.