What sorts of things do people do to reach forgiveness?
440055
It really isn't that shocking. Our parents have a profound effect upon us, since they are there (or not there) for us as we are developing our ego, or ID if you will. \n\nForgiveness is the last stage of healing, and we can't jump to that without going through all the other stages. Counselling can help with this.\n\nThe best way I have found is to view your mother as a woman. A woman with her own struggles and her own legacy, as opposed to viewing her as the mother you wish she would have been.\n\nAccepting that she won't change helps also.\n\nI wish you the peace you are seeking. You want to forgive and that is the most important thing. You have set the intention, and it will materialize. \nGood luck and God Bless!
575985
i would start with prayer and meditation. I would commune with God and seek guidance. Once I was sure I had been given direction I would go about making my amends. It may mean facing the person(s) I had wronged or it may mean making it up in a symbolic way. For example if I were a spouse abuser perhaps my amends would be to contribute regularly to organizations that help abused spouses, and of course to get the help it would take to never do it again. For me there are steps to atonement\n\n1) Repent - admit I was wrong\n2) Atone - seek God's guidance \n3) Make amends = do whatever it takes to right the wrong if possible, or do the next best thing\n4) Work on my self so that I don't make the same mistakes\n5) Forgive myself and understand that I am human and it is human to make mistakes.
109656
Forgiveness comes from deeper inside than any other emotion, and is the only thing that separates humans (spiritually speaking) from monkeys.  \n\nYou can teach a dog patience.  If you have patience but no forgiveness, then your life is shallow and empty.  If you have forgiveness, then your life can be righteous and wonderful whether you are patient or not.\n\nOn the other hand, if you forgive someone for messing up your life, it doesn't mean you have to take them back.  You can forgive them and walk away.  \n\nJust because you have forgiven someone doesn't mean they were right, it just means that they are not your problem anymore.
566697
You can forgive them, cause you would like to be forgiven by GOD in the things that you do..........  but that doesn't mean you have to associate with them anymore.  Forgive them so that you do not have a heavy heart or the burden on your mind....... just don't give them the chance to do it again.
827727
Put your hand in God's Hand\n\n\nPrayer, Time and Forgiveness heals all wounds
548092
To err is human to forgive is Divine. In the Bible it is written..."how many times I will forgive my brother?,Jesus answered...I tell you more than 77 times.Jesus Christ is the ultimate example of forgiveness. That's why it is said that focus in you eyes in Him. It is not easy to forgive nor to forget, sometimes we want to screw down the people who hurt us or we wish that they suffer more than we suffer..sometimes we hope that what they do against us will come back against them....but in this character..we plant hatred and vengeance in our heart which produces more conflicts in our lives..more complicated situations and which result to our own destruction...It is not easy to forgive and really forget but sometimes when you think or do the things that is impossible for you...we can also find forgiveness in our hearts. I do not blame people who can't forgive nor forget yet it is so possible to forgive and forget...It only matters on each of our hearts. Forget the past and strain forward, when your still dealing on your past,you will not grow up...Go ahead forget what is behind and you will discover for yourself the forgiveness in your heart.
933659
No human can forgive sins. \n\nGod allows humans to forgive each other on acts that harm the rest of the living...however...some crimes, I reckon would not be forgiven by God, even if I have forgiven someone for doing them.\n\nWhy? Because I dont know what lies in peoples hearts. Only He does. So HE in His infinite wisdom, might chose to forgive or not to forgive depending on the persons sincerity.\n\nThis is why, when faced with a man who hurts you in some way, you must pray, may God forgive him, if you want his own good.
209967
People will do and say anything to provoke others and it is best to express forgiveness and I hope you can forgive that person but as for me I do have a difficult time forgiving others for their trespasses against me especially when there are things in my past that has left me emotionally scarred to where I express distrust and resentment towards others mixed with a short temper and I do admit that this does hinder my personal relationship with the lord and I would ask that you would remember me in your prayers since it is likely that I'm about to get kicked off of this forum of which I don't care if I do get the boot.\nThey can kick the lord out of this forum but they can't kick the lord out of me.
242024
Just repent(ask 4 forgiveness) and continue your sacrifice
1118684
If you've hurt someone in the past, go to that person and ask for forgiveness. If you've been bad in the past, then its time for you to change your ways and be a good person. Have a positive outlook in life so you'll invite positive energy. Treat everyone equally.. and reach out to people around you. Do not mistreat people whom you think are inferior than you. Be kind, and help others.. and you'll see the changes happening one by one.
324683
Explore the person they are, how they relate to people. Do they judge them, do they forgive them.\nSetting principles and sticking to them.\nHelping when needed, not asking why sometimes, and questioning yourself on a regular basis and learning from it.\nWe can all help people, but we cant if we dont help ourselves.
705945
Everyone says that it's a healing thing. The hard part of this is learning how to forgive. I thought I had achieved the fine art of forgiving, but recently resentment, anger and bitterness has reared it's ugly head again. The one that it hurts the most is the one that harbors these feelings. I've read a couple of books on forgiveness,, but reading and actually doing the forgiving seems next to impossible for me to accomplish...........:)
47863
You can ask yourself this: "What's keeping me from forgiving and forgetting the hurtful past?" Why are you holding on to the resentment? \n\nYou don't have to prove anything to anybody. If you achieve something, be happy for yourself. Don't think of what others would think about your achievements. \n\nOh, before I forget, have you forgiven them? You have to forgive them first before you can think of getting the resentment out of your heart.\n\nGod bless.
462417
Forgivness starts within your heart and mind.  You need to let go of the anger/hate/jelousy ... what ever the negative sympton is that poisens you.  Once you've made peace with the wrong doing, you can turn to the person/thing that wronged you.  This is the tricky part.\n\nForgivness is also mutual ... You could forgive <which free's u from hate/anger/jeolosy> however, the person you're forgving may not want to be forgiven.  Example ... your spouce may have cheated on you and does not want forgivness.  They would rather get a divorce and they wanted to hurt you.  See, forgivness isn't mutual here.  You still need to find that place where you rid yourself of negativity, and remove yourself from the person who does not want forgivness.\n\nReligion does a great job of teaching us about forgiveness.  Confessions are one of the first lessons we get about forgivness.  Three acts are required from the Penitent <us sinners who WANT to be forgiven> for forgivness through the sacrament of confession.  These are Contrition, confession, and satisfaction.\n\nContrition is sincere sorrow for having offended God, the most important act of penitent.  There can be no forgiveness of sin if we do not have sorrow and a firm resolve to not repeat our sin.  See if we were married and cheated on our spouse the first step is for us to feel sorry that we cheated and to resolve in our heart not to cheat again; flip side, if your spouse has cheated on you, they willing have to be sorry and willingly have to resolve not to cheat on you again.  \n\nConfession requires confronting our sins in a profound way before God by acknowledging them aloud to a priest.  The priest is a conduit to God in confession.  In the marriage if you cheated on your spouse, you must go to the spouse and inform them of the affair; flip side, if your spouse cheates on you, then they need to come to you ... hiring a private detetive leads you down a path where you'll forgive but they aren't ready to be forgiven.\n\nSatisfaction is the "penance" the priest imposes on the penitent to make amends for sin, an important part of our healing.  Once you've cheated on your spouse, you need to make it up to your spouse <give up your computer/phone/whatever caused you to stray>; flip side, if your spouse cheated on you, they need to give up whatever was the temptation to lead them to stray.  \n\nIn today' Western culture, it seems that cheating spouses dont' heal because they don't work their way through the basic forgiveness techniques <Contrition, Confession, and Satisfation>.  Instead most are stuck at level 1: Contrition.  If the couples make it to level 3 "Penance" then victim spouse ususally does not have the courage to require a healing penance to their spouse.
633820
The power of forgiveness is amazing.  It is the hardest thing to do but has amazing results when you do it.  It may just seem like the "religious" thing to do, but you need to release that burden of the past and put it back on them. When you don't forgive someone it only hurts you-- not them.  So let it go-- the best you know how.  I am a christian but I have seen the power of forgivness in my family who is athesist.  God Bless you and I hope that you don't have to live in this forever.  :)
1046788
There is no standard formula that can apply to every one. Several methods have works for many people and any one or more can be tried. (1) immerse yourself in any creative work or activity (2) expand or acquire deep faith, in religion or place or person or what ever (3) think deeply and adopt policy ` what you can not forget, forgive & what you can not forgive, forget (4) learn to forget. The last one is the most difficult to put in practice, but than as old adage says, practice makes a man perfect. \n\nEssentially, all of us have painful memories and thats a fact of life. In order to make our present time happy & stress free, one has to learn & devise individual set of responses.\n\nDont worry, be happy.\n\nYou live only once, live life - king size.\n\nCheers....
844002
I tend to forgive - even the worst things that have ever been done to me because people don't realize that moving on takes forgiveness. Even when it seems impossible to forgive those who may have done horrible things to us in our lives, we should forgive them - not so much for them as for our own sanity and well-being. It takes courage but it is possible to forgive even the worst things that have happened. It helps me get some kind of closure and peace inside which holding onto things never provides. Holding on and never letting go makes everything stay ao alive - so real and so unforgettable.\n\nOf course, there are those things that I cannot forget - unfortunately... words said, things that have happened. The human mind just does not seem to forget these things no matter how hard you with it would - we remember... I remember. And that is why the forgiveness is so essential - because we remember and everytime we do, it is not healthy for feelings of hate, anger, or sadness to overwhelm us. It is living in the past and that is not good for anyone.\n\nI was never the one to hold onto things, never apologize, stay in an arguement, etc - it is just not in me. I do not cope well with any conflicts so I am the one who apologizes even when I am not the one who should.. I just can't stand tension - escpecially with those that you know you love and who love you.. I see it as so pointless and such a waste of time - I always did. And I think I forgive people too easily sometimes perhaps.. just so we can move on and so no one stays hurt any longer. I am just that kind of person. \n\nSo, I don't forget - because I can't. But - I do forgive, sometimes just for my sake - to ease my own pain and to try to let go and move on.\n\n:o)