Can a man see the difference between selfish love and genuine love?
446931
Property? Hmmm.... I become "hers," she becomes "mine," in the sense of exclusive intimacy and closeness, and the understanding that "we" are now a "we," but property? Never thought of it that way. Usually, I'm busy doing whatever I can to most ensure her happiness, and she's trying to do the same for me. (when all is right with the world, anyway) The only time a guy turns into "property" is when he becomes so whipped he loses individuality, and turns his back on his own beliefs and values to capitulate to a woman. If a woman really loves him though, she'll rarely put him in a position where he has to make that choice.
956452
There is real love. I have been attached to or dependent on  people that I didn't necessarily love. I have called these experiences love out of desperation, but I have also felt true love for others. I just haven't often had it returned. I've had people swear that they did love me, but it was more need than anything--you can tell who does and does not love you by refusing to be a door mat. The ones who remain love you.
66807
...wish to share, am a returner favourer kinda person.\n\n1.26 11:51p est Stupendous Man, silly of me to confuse you with that little guy Calvin, guess I thought he looked a little like you.\nFor me it would depend what those differences were. If we're talking about weaknesses in character, then have to say I have seen that used as a weapon, friend on friend, sibling on sibling, and of course spouse on spouse. \nI had a realization once that I turned into a caution motto, "There is no one in this world who loves you so much as to not say a negative thing about you behind your back." (yes, very familiar with feeling betrayed, but let's leave that) And I guess a similar expression would be, "There isn't likely to be anyone in this world who loves you enough, never to hold your weaknesses against you." Whether that weakness is being too emotional or not emotional enough, or having to much to say or not being able to verbalize worth a poo, ya know the contrast between one personality and it's opposite.\n\nI guess what I am getting to, is that it's possible to love someone and know they have this difference about them, and SOMETHING ELSE gets in between you, and in the course of having it out one spouse retaliates with pointed references to this "difference". IT ISN'T because they were always really bothered by it and just never brought it up before, it's more that they were running out of arguments about the actual issue at hand, and needed some grounds to prove their "right"geousness in the fallout.\nFeeling misunderstood on both sides is where the real problem is. It's not necessarily a communication breakdown, it could be the gradually ending of sympathy, feeling unequal in a relationship, feeling undervalued. Then it's "who cares if you're sensitive about this difference, I want to right no matter the cost, I want to be heard whatever might fly from my lips"\nIt's sad and unnecessary, but it comes from people's focus on theirselves. If more people tried to see it from the opposing perspective this world would be a much more peacful place.
626484
Yes there is a difference. You can love someone but not be in love with them. The act of love is a feeling you can feel for anyone you care about. Your parents, kids, siblings and friends. You love them but when you are in love it is different and only reserved for one person at a time. Someone whom you want to spend the rest of your life with. When you are in love with someone it is so easy to loose those feelings yet it feels so hard to do while you are wrapped up in them. Once you feel out of love with someone your feelings of love usually go with them. That is why you can totally accept the fact that your spouse/partner has left after some time, but if your mother was to leave it would devastate you. Being in love gives you this fake love feeling until it leaves. After that the person ceases to exist.
357237
Selfish people never see their own selfishness.  And that's a basic truth with all of us.  We never see our own faults most of the time unless someone else points them out.  You should hold a mirror up to your girlfriend's face and tell her exactly what she does that makes her a selfish person.  And I know this is difficult for most men to do but, tell her how her actions make you feel.  And remember to point out to her that you love her and that's the reason why you are pointing these things out to her.  You aren't trying to change her, you are trying to make her quality of life (and your relationship) better.
497690
men can change, its just what it means for them. if you two are really inlove, then let him know. hint around about something you want him to do, and if he really cares he will be all over it. so to say its a hopeless cause is to say that he really doesnt care. love is worth it if he realizes it.
436724
Mimi actions speak louder than words so it would be difficult to say exactly what expressions a man would make if he loved someone. I think you would know it when you see it in his eyes...D
376258
He is selfish, and doesnt care about your feelings, because you have strong feelings for him, you cant realize this.\n\nSo unless you can get a hold of your emotions, and your feelings you will be destined to re-live this scenario in future relationships...
242713
There is no machine by which u can check. Just try to listen and understand him carefully. If he share his things with you, he may be sincere. but there is no hard and fast rules for this.
401540
Yes there is such a thing. Some people including women don't show there feelings. That doesn't mean that they aren't there, they just don't show them . You know if he cares by the way he treats you. If he is honest and you feel like you can trust him then that's a good sign. Also if he does little things for you without being told that means he thinks about you. That means he cares. If he blows you off or ignores you when you are around, then that probaly means he doesn't care. When people care about you they treat you with respect. Most guys just aren't in to telling you how they feel. If you still aren't sure, then just ask him. You will know by his response how he feels. Good Luck
374414
I doubt there is any difference between men and women.  Normally, they would feel guilty, afraid of being caught, happy they have a lover, sneakily satisfied they are getting away with it, self-loathing because of what they are doing...all mixed in a way depending upon the person.  Just because a person doesnt bat an eyelash doesnt mean the emotions are not swirling underneath-you cant always read a person's guilt.  And, having a lover doesnt mean they no longer love their wife, and it sure doesnt have an effect on their relationship with their kids, so its not as if they are pretending to love the family.\nI'm not excusing the behaviour-they made a vow and broke it, and there are consequences to that-Im just trying to answer the question asked so maybe you can get some understanding.
167000
I don't think there is. You can only be content. Once you get what you want, you add more to the list. You will always feel something is being neglected and at times unhappy. As for true love, I don't believe so. I think you have to build love.
207661
There's is no doubt about the fact that LOVE means SACRIFICE, SELFLESSNESS, DEVOTION, SHARING(emotions, thoughts, life in general), and a lot of other things..It's an intense emotional attachment that attach you to the person you are in love with...Answering your question..I'd say that human beings are different..No two persons are alike in their behaviour, thoughts, the way they express themselves or their feelings...and some other times, people are deceitful about their feelings, they say for example that they have feelings for you or love you when they don't..i.e...there are two or rather three types of people..\n1-Those who are not good at expressing their feelings when they owe and cherish them deep inside..\n2-Those who are good and are capable of elaborating their feelings and at the same time they are true about them..\n3-Those who can express their feelings BUT are deceitful about them..\nProbably-in matter of love-people fall under one of those 3 categories..and it's one's behaviour that tells which category he/she belongs to..\nIn your case, you can't really decide whether it's love or not you feel because I think that you haven't really talked or communicated with this guy for enough time to really decide about what you feel for him..\nYou'll have to be intelligent about this and at the same time use your intuition to know more about this guy...how he treats you..thinks of you..are all that really matters..if he's treating you in a nice way and you really feel that he's true about his feelings (Cause this is something felt but we sometimes don't want to confess it to ourselves)then it's real love even if his financial status is not that good now..you'll be able to stand by him and help him...As I told you if he really loves you and treats you well,that makes all the difference..\nSO SO SO...what you have to do now is 1-watch carefully how he's treating you..how nice he is in respecting your feelings and cherishing them..2- when you've found out that he really loves you, the financial circumstances won't be of that importance then..3-if he doesn't really love you, you've not lost anything..it's all experiences we get in our lives...:) \nI wish you the best of luck in your life.. :)
113760
Truly loves you?  I wonder if that really exists with out you truly loving the other first.  If you wait for someone to truly love you it may never happen.  All you can do and all you can control is you.  You and your own feelings.  I would think that if you are asking about this then you are probably in love with someone and unsure of the others feelings.  Well of course you could ask...but really try this...open your heart and show it.  If the other person loves you then this will only create a space that will allow the other person to respond with love.  For you there also needs to be thought of what you need in life.  Things like helping you with issues you need handled or doing something for someone you love...but all of that is the easy stuff. I was involved with someone for three years and he did everthing for me...but he neer loved me nor I him.  Now I am ivolved with a man that I do not lean on for anything but his heart is mine.  Only after I opened mine and took a chance.
565163
no, if you can't tell him to his face that you love him then you actually don't love him. Loving someone means you have to feel comfortable around him. If he can't take you seriously, then he don't have alot of trust in you. Just try it and see what happens. Whatever you do, please don't write it
511575
We say alot of things when angry and it is usually the way we feel. I would not tell someone that he probably doesn't love you, but I will say make sure to watch his actions and go by that. He will never change and it will only be useless to think he will. You can only change yourself. Keep your head held high and never compromise what you believe in..
134959
the fact... Time will tell (surely, its sad that this is true)\n\nWomen, are believed to have 6th sense. you go with it, you will find out if he is serious or not.\n\nUsualy: A man, who is serious to himself (I mean his career/life), sure will not let her love/life drag his life down.