I suffer from PTSD and had a partial memory of sexual abuse as a child.  What can I do to get rid of my PTSD?
454055
I would shop around for a counselor and psychiatrist. You may need to be on medication, even a low dosage. I'm on a small dosage of Zoloft right now for depression and it's been a great help in controlling my moods. Look into the counselling too because it sounds like that would be extremely prevalent to your PTSD. You don't have to suffer alone.\n\n*Edit* I'm glad you're on some meds then. I know the sexual abuse memory is EXTREMELY painful, but you have to realize that the only way you're going to "get it out" like you keep saying, is to continue counseling sessions. You need a professional because stuff could get really hairy if you sit down with a family member or friend and open up. I never suffered anything as severe as sexual abuse (thank god) but I have struggled with lesser, stressful situations and whenever I tried to talk them out with people I was immediately close to it always ended in failure. Look for a LCS (licensed clinical social worker). Trust me, he or she will get your through it. Remember that it's a work in progress and requires patience.
628544
although i wasn't abused as a child, i had a terrible experience when i was a teenager, i was date raped. i understand what you're going through and i know it hurts alot but you need to find the strength to move on with your life. anger and hate won't take you anywhere, it'll just make you bitter and it won't give you peace. i know what i'm talking about cuz i too dwelled on with my past for the longest time and i almost ruined my life. \ndon't worry though, better days is just around the corner, you just have to hold on and work on to getting well again my friend.\ni'll pray for your recovery!\nGod speed\n\np.s.\ntry to read this book: your past does not define your future by bo sanchez (this book is published in the philippines). this book has really helped me alot.
1181384
I was once in the same situation for 10 years...I was verbally abused as well as physically abused...we had 2 children...in 60's we had no place to escape to...I eventually was given a way out.....our son is in prison because of his painful childhood....so I do know where you are coming from...people should never stay in an abusive relationship "For the Children" they are suffering that abuse with you....\nAs far as the healing...well its been nearly 28 years since I got out of that marriage...I have anger problems....I have memory loss... I have anxiety and post traumatic stress syndrome...but I have been holding out pretty good...healing takes time...I am still healing...one thing I did learn from all this...Men who do this sort of thing have a complex...they look to you as above them so in order to bring you to THEIR level they have to over power you enough to make themselves feel better about themselves..just hang in there...go forward don't look back....get a journal and write down your feelings..it really helps...and sometimes its better than trying to explain it to people who have never been there...time heals all wounds...but for some...it just takes a lot of time....let me know ...been there...done that...
460715
I more than most anyone will understand what you are going through...I too was sexually assaulted for many years and I have also been gang raped and raped by a couple of others. I too sleep VERY little...I average around 3 hours per night. I have had and been diagnosed with night terrors for years, as well as anxiety attacks....ALL I can suggest is meditation, group therapy and xanax...at least these are the only LEAGAL things that have helped me...If you are so inclined you can e-mail me and I'll go into further detail, but this is what I hope will help you at this point.....Peace!
538354
If it's really bad, you could talk to your doctor and he could give you something to take the edge off. I'm not really sure how I do it. I just take a long deep breath, and just do it, like pretending that I'm not afraid at all. After a while, I don't have to pretend anymore.
680987
I was in an abusive relationship for 4 years, during my teens. Throughout the relationship, I was physically tortured (not just beaten, by any means), sexually abused and raped on a regular basis, and forced to watch atrocious acts toward animals. When I finally got out, I immediately started smoking pot very heavily, and I assumed I was pretty much fine, except that I had clinical depression. A couple years later, I got pregnant and abruptly stopped smoking pot (and cigarettes, alchohol, caffeine and antidepressants). Suddenly Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder set in. All of these seemingly unrelated (to the abuse) sounds and sights began to bring on strong physical flashbacks of what it felt like to be sexually violated. 7 years later I am still fighting this every day. I have been to therapists, psychiatrists, counsellors and doctors and, although they have been able to help me with my other issues (depression, anxiety, self-esteem isues, etc.) they haven't offered any effective treatment for the Post Traumatic Stress. About 7 or 8 minths ago, I tried Reiki, and it has been the only thing to give me ANY releif from my PTSD symptoms. It's a lot better, but still there, and it REALLY sucks because when I get triggered, it actually feels like I am being touched "down there" against my will. Of course there is a lot of tension, anxiety, depression and anger as a result of reliving (and desperately trying to AVOID reliving) the physical sensations of being raped each day. I have never been able to work, because of this, but I've been told I do an excellent job of raising my daughter, who is almost 7. Though I may not have many conventional accomplishments under my belt, I feel like just having survived this, and also overcoming my addictions are HUGE accomplishments, and I don't know if many other people could have made it through what I have, and still have a positive attitude, and hope for the future. So, I'm proud of me!
798226
Most of us suffer from some for of post traumatic stress disorder.  Especially those who saw combat.  We were programed to kill people and break things to act as police in the most unusual chaos without the training to do it.  I remember being told to suit up in MOPP gear, a chemical weapon suit and learn how to fire so I could continue on with the mission when all I could think of was getting the hell out of the contaminated area.  also taking a life offsets you years after you do it.  Especially the bloody ones or the younger ones.  You usually have no choice but you dwell on it constantly when you get out.  Best solution is to talk with other people who have experienced what you have, don't break any confidences but open up as much as you can.  it has helped me some.
860492
its a very common occurrence and very simple one too.......\nyou remember your childhood because you want to because it is full of events you want to keep in mind but now it seems you are stressed.do meditation and yoga that would definitely help.
465250
Have you try professional help? You seem to be suffering from post traumatic stress. \nThere are many place that can help you.In the meantime, try keeping a diary with your thoughts. \n\nSleep with the radio or television on. It has been shown they will effect your dreams. Try to set the alarm clock so that you will wake up suddenly. If you wake up slowly you are more likely to remeber your dreams.
67722
It is not something that you should just "deal" with. This can be a very serious issue. Do you know why the fear is there? Does it stem from something in your past? If you do not know, then you need to dig deep into that issue first, before you can tackle the issue of the fear itself. Have you always been like this? Or did it just start to happen? \n\nNow, if you know why it is (something in your past, abuse, ect.) then you need to start to work on that issue. Maybe seek a psychologist that specializes in sexual issues. DO NOT exclude your spouse from any of this. Communication is SOOOO important. If he does not know anything is wrong, or if he doesn't know you are seeking help, how is he going to get help? He needs to be helped just as much as you do because I am sure at one point, he has thought (or he might just be thinking it now) that it is his fault (and again, I am just taking a guess that none of this is actually his fault).
999406
A lot of children do repress what happened to them when they were sexually abused, so it's possible you could have blocked some memories .. generally they stay blocked until you're old enough/safe enough to let them out.\n\nBut you could have torn your hymen before you first had intercourse, so maybe that's why you didn't bleed. Not everyone bleeds buckets (in fact I don't think anyone does!). The hymen can get torn from masturbation or molestation or exercise or tampons or a doctor's examination. \n\nI won't tell you to go get therapy but would just like to say that if you have problems with relationships, addictions, self esteem, depression, etc. there's a good chance that they're linked to what was done to you when you were a child. I'm a survivor myself and do a lot of work and reading on the subject.  If you do want to know more about it, maybe some self-help, please check out my links below. It's all free, and anonymous.
672119
Sounds like you have a horrific childhood past and it's blocked. Did you know if a parent does something wrong the child represses these memories the most. I don't know what it is or who did what but sit a think as far back as you can. Writing is especially good when your in these kind of moods. I MYSELF FIND THAT i write stuff I had forgot about.
1134899
Its very hard for people especially women when at very young ages, they are molested or secretively followed by men trying to rape them. That's the worst women and girls face these days. And its the same case with most girls exactly what happened with you while you were 10. That's very sad. I'm sorry about that. But, still I'd recommend that what I'm about to advice you will be of great importance to you right now. You need to visit a counselor or a psychologist to assist you in getting sleep and to get you out of sleeping whilst the television is on and that its hard for you to sleep without it. Try talking to your mother repeatedly about your problem and also try consulting a good psychologist or psychytrist to give you guidance. You will have to cooperate with them at the same time and also to get good help at this age. I understand your problem seriously but you at the same time need consultation for your sleep at this age as you have to fight back bravely and that you have the capability inside you to aid you in getting out of this situation. Goodluck in life and also just prey to God to help you in life.
375844
lalapetal, I would sugest that you talk to someone about this. Is there somekind of counselor you can seek? Some kind of suport groups in your area? I once told that I need to let it go and give it to god. But sometimes it stays with us and find it hard to accept things and forgive others. If you dont want to seek help then please seek a forum that can suport you.. google for some abuse forum, there are some good ones out there. You need to def talk to someone about this so you can begin to heal... this is the first step...
872715
no...you can go to therapy.. i think if there was a way to erase memories alot of people would be doing it. i for one have had a horrible like, i was molested as a child rapped 2 times as an adult was a drug addict and you know what i survived i have all these horrible memories inside my mind but i live with it and you can too.
104470
Maybe, child abuse was committed upon your body.  Feel free to contact victimsofsexualmutilation@yahoo.com.
323112
Are these memories bad enough to make you willing to try some visualization techniques?\n\nIf they are, here's a description of what I've done personally and with some other people to help with bad memories.\n\nIt is key to remember that we don't want to forget them completely. Total forgetting might let us repeat whatever caused the first bad memory and keep us from learning how to deal these situations. \n\nWe just want to get to the point where we are not feeling these memories all over again like they're brand new and we don't want to spend all our time thinking about not thinking about them.\n\nThe nice thing about these techniques is that even if they don't help, they do no harm, so we don't have to be afraid of trying them. The techniques do not have the side effects of drugs or alcohol.\n\nFirst, mentally lay out the memories you dislike and would like to give less attention to. Treat them like clothes that you would lay out on the bed before putting them away.\n\nTake one memory. Look at it as if it were something you were watching on television.\n\nReach out. Just like your real TV, reach out and turn down the volume. Take the color knob and turn it down until the memory fades to black and white. Now move to the other knob, the one for brightness and contrast. Turn down the brightness and contrast until you can barely see it. Play with it. Up, down, up, down. \n\nNow, leaving the memory black and white and just barely visible, reach out and pick it up and place it behind you, out of sight. It's still there. You can bring it out any time you want to, but you've physically moved it so that it is not blocking your ability to see other things.\n\nDo that for each memory that disturbs you. Make the physical movements. That will help give you "muscle memory" of what you've done, what you've changed, not just "mind memory."\n\nFor good memories, do the same thing only turn UP the volume, the color, the brightness and contrast. Place them to your side where you can easily see them out of the corner of your eye whenever you want to.\n\nThey're YOUR memories and you'd be less than a whole person if you lost them. You just want to pack them away in their right place. Whatever you place in front of you will be seen better than anything else. Whatever you place behind you will only be seen when you pull it out to take a look. You're in control instead of being controlled by.\n\nThis has helped me with memories of death, embarrassment, loss. I've passed it on to others before, physically guiding and encouraging them to make the motions, and they've reported that it has helped them. Try it right now, and tell us what happens.