How do you teach your mother to be nice to your wife and would be the consequences if she refuses to?
454139
Start by gently letting her know that she must treat your wife with respect.  Example:  Mom makes a comment about your wife's cooking; you should respond by letting her know that you like your wife's cooking and/or that she worked hard to prepare a meal.  But don't criticize your mom while you do it.  Let her know that you appreciate her as well.  Also, you must NEVER complain to your mother about your wife.  This sets the stage for your mother to complain about her and sets up distrust between your wife and your mother.
795794
Knowledge  is  the  remedy,   once  you  understand  (like  knowing  people  who  use  filthy  language  are  scum)  you  Will  tell  them  to  shut up  until  they  learn  manners.\nLearn  martial  arts  so  if  someone beats  you,  then  you  can  whack  them  back.\nIf  someone  ill  treats  your  wife,  then  you  should  know  better  that  you  don't   beat  them  for  verbal,  but  again  tell  them  to  leave  until  they  learn  manners.   \nWhat  are  you  actually   afraid  of  ?    really  ?   understand  that ,  then  learn  how  to  deal.    Even  when  you  are  afraid  start  standing  up  a  little  bit  at  a time.   Eventually  you  will  develop  a  backbone.            good  luck
496870
By being the best example to him that you can be.\n\nBy supporting him as head of the household.\n\nI know it's not the popular view, but I Peter 3:1-6 applies:  1Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, 2when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear. 3Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel—4rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. 5For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands, 6as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror.\n\n\nUltimately, your trust needs to be in God.  Too many times we put our faith in our husbands or in ourselves.  God wants your husband to come to Him.  Trust that and don't be afraid.  Just keep doing what you know you are supposed to do and be the best (non-nagging, no pressure) example you can be to and for him.
503669
It took my husband 15 years to be able to tell his mom exactly what he thinks, and only now with me backing him up. If your mom is controlling, there is no NICE way to handle her. You  have to just come out and say what you are thinking because if she is anything like my mom-in-law, she won't take you seriously. Be Very blunt. Tell her you are not TRYING to hurt her, but that this is how you feel. GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!!!!
199227
Don't get in a tug of war over her son's affections. Ask her advice from time to time, and do mother-daughter kinds of things together. Show respect and include her before she asks to be included. I'll bet you'll get along just fine.
1012894
Possibly she is trying to help and also wants to be a part of the family.  The best way to deal with it is respect.  Show her respect at all times and remember that the person you married was raised by this woman so she cannot be all bad.  You may also want to consider that it may be your attitude that is the problem.  Try to approach her not as your mother in law but as you would any other person you deal with.
223820
Show the mother that you can be trusted with her little girl.Show her you respect her and that you could never hurt her.Then show the mother that you respect her as well.
72412
When you are willing to set and enforce boundaries. It can be difficult, but you can do it if you really want to. First, take a look at WHY it's important to you to please your mother. Then, look at the negative consequences and commit to setting up boundaries. Communicate those boundaries to your mother, and STICK TO THEM. Don't let her put you on a guilt trip; you need to take care of yourself and let her take care of her own self. You're not responsible for her happiness...SHE is.\n\nDr. Barb Nefer, http://www.bnlifeskills.com
860824
write her a letter telling her that you love her and want to start new and would she be willing to start over and see where it goes from there. but what ever let her know that you love her and want things between you and her to change for the better. sometimes kids have to make the first move when there parent is not in the right state of mind adults sometimes forget that we can learn so much from our children , trust me my daughter taught me how to be humble and wow what an experience and she loves me very much and told me that i was stifling her by not letting her make mistakes for her own good and other great things that i thought i knew more then her and actually she really helped me a lot once i took off the blinders so sometimes kids have to help reshape the parents. lol
277332
It's not a bad thing as long as you are mature and can stand independent of her. I think mama's boy and being respectful of your mother is in many cases the same thing. There is nothing wrong with that.
353550
First of all, when did you guys officially become husband and wife - you made no mention of that in your question.  If your wife is a grown woman and is allowing her mother to act that way, what can you do.  It is sounding like she has given control to her mother.  Check yourself.  Make sure you have not done anything to offend your mother-in-law, if so then get it right.  Try talking to the mother-in-law.  Ask her why she is acting out so bad.  Coming to your job is definitely over the top and you should definitely ask her never to do that again.  Get in touch with your wife.  Explain to her that you cannot go on like this.  Her not coming back on her own is sounding like she doesn't want to be with you.  Ask her point blank what her intentions are.
639671
At this point in time you have done all you can, or at least all you've had time to do.  You can try, but don't alienate her.  When/if it goes wrong she will need you. You may be disappointed but you're a good mom and that's your job.  Teach her what you can, some people are hard learners. But *if* it goes wrong, she *will* need you.  So don't put her in the position of not wanting to come to you when she needs help because she doesn't want an "I told you so."
1083465
Start making a good faith effort to make things go better between you. Then keep making that good faith effort day after day until it pays off. And then keep right on making that good faith effort day after day, or she will feel like you tricked her, and you will be worse off than before.\n\nIn short, there is nothing like a husband who tries hard to make the marriage a good marriage to make a wife feel friendly toward him.
879704
Just explain that sometimes you would like to do it a bit gentler. Do it her way sometimes and your way other times.
192096
take ur son and go what can she say she is bussy getting laid anyhow so u r better 4 him \nhe dont need to b around a woman like that cause then he will think all women r like that and he may grow up 2 treat them bad
263795
TELL HER YOU DON'T GIVE A FU*CK WHAT SHE THINKS AND THAT YOU ARE GETTING MARRIED TO YOUR MAN. AND THEN IF SHE DOESN'T WANT TO GET TO LIKE OR KNOW YOU WELL THE HE*LL WITH HER YOU DON'T GIVE A FU*CK. I MEAN DAM*N HOW MUCH OF A BI*TCH DOES SHE HAVE TO BE. TELL HER TO GO FU*CK SOME DI*CK AND CHILL OUT AND STOP BEING A BI*TCH. MY HUSBANDS MOM WAS LIKE HER SHE ALWAYS HAD HIM MAD AND WHEN HE GETS MAD HE IGNORES EVERYONE FU*CK I DIDN'T DO SH*IT. SHE WILL JUST KEEP GETTING HIM PISSED OFF ALL DAY! TELL YOUR MAN THAT EITHER SHE STOPS BEING THE WAY SHE IS TO YOU OR YOU GO AND IF YOU LOVE ME YOU WILL TELL HER TO STOP THAT WETHER SHE LIKES IT OR NOT YOU ARE GETTING MARRIED TO HIM AND THAT'S IT!!!!!!
391287
I can tell you I have been there and done it and it only gets worse because she has a hold on him you can not break. But let me tell you this is also what she wants is for you to leave so she can have him all to herself. As far as your husband sooner or later the resentment builds up and the love is lost because of the way he does. Tell him in no certain terms you realize this is his mother but your also his wife and he is killing all the respect you have for him...Lady