why do deadbeat dads ignore they children they claim to love??
441065
There is a huge difference between love and being responsible. That and they're just idiots!
777609
it stems from lack of discipline when the are young. mommy and daddy giving them everything. they expect everyone to just get out of their way.
1153820
I don't know where you live but in GA they will go after any father who doesn't pay.  It is called ABANDONMENT and is illegal.  Look in the phone book under the county that you live and see if there is a number for the main county switchboard and ask them who you should be talking to.  As last resort, you could call an attorney and press charges for non payment of child support and abandonment.  Or hell, go file a small claims case against him.  At least you could get something from them.  Also, it would go on his credit and it would be judgment against him throught the court, so if he didn't pay, then a bench warrant would be issued.  I am a child of a father that didn't pay and spend any time with me, so I know how that feels but don't put up posters or fliers, because you child will see that and its not fair to the child.  Be the good parent.
1143367
Fathers that you speak of is sorry men. A real man takes care of his children. He speak into their lives and guide them so that they will be successful in life. He sees things in them others don't see. I have two sons and they mean the world to me.
858985
It's a very big deal.It doesn't take a lot of money or any money to show some one you love that you are thinking of them.When he ignores you and you allow it you say it's alright and it isn't.I was in that situation before and I never asked for anything and that's what I got nothing.You show men how to treat you by accepting any old treatment and making excuses as to why you feel so neglected.It's a very big deal and you need to cut him loose,he's only interested in the comfort you provide.Screw EM"
114373
The reason they don't respond to "no" is because they're used to their parents' idle threats.  Nothing is going to happen to them if they do it anyway, so why not?\nNothing drives me more crazy then to see a parent start counting to a kid.  Why are you giving them 3 tries to behave?  \nThen there are the ones that give the "1...2...2 1/2...I mean it...I'm going to say 3....Did you hear me?"  And they wonder why their kids do not behave. (shaking my head)
871512
My husbands family tends to ignore my childrens birthdays also, but always buy things for their other grandchildren. I haven't figured out why, but now that my children are getting older they are noticing and I'm sure my 16 year old will someday confront his grandparents as to why. In the meantime I try and compensate for their lack of affection by letting my children know that I love them. My husband won't say anything either because he feels as if he is in the middle. The most important thing is that you are there for the children no matter what his family does. I figure someday they will look around and be alone due to the fact that they have treated everyone so poorly for so long.
914598
He kind of sounds like a creep. Think about it, he has a kid and is with some other girl everyday. He is not thinking about you. I know that hurts, but please realize that you can do better. Try to find a nice guy who can be respectful and loving to you and your child. This man obviously has no family values. He does not listen to you, does not care enough to be a full time father and also does not listen to his own family's opinion. Dump the loser!!!
959946
this is a tough one.  its hard to find your balance after a divorce.  do you think he wants you back or is he trying to maintain some kind of friendship?  i think you should just tell him.  if he severs contact with the kids then maybe thats not such a bad thing for them.  why should they have to deal with a sometimes dad who doesnt put them first?  if he is that immature then maybe they are better off.  it is hard to make decisions that may do harm on your kids especially when they are too young to truly understand.  my ex does the same thing.  i just limit the contact as much as possible.  also when he calls, you could just put one of the kids on the phone.  eventually he would get the point.  good luck.
341480
well, thats what they do, why are you supprised you got used, are you really that ignorant? Prob has a wife an kids in his country.
208604
ACTIONS speak so much louder than words. Is he genuinely making an attempt? Has he called and talked to the kids? Has he come to see the kids? Has he paid any child support or asked if there is anything he can do for them? Does he make sure they have what they need? I can understand trying to find yourself and make you way through the music world, but not at the expense of abandoning your children for 4-5 years. If he is genuinely sorry and wants to be a part of you and the kids' life I would give him another chance. BUT I would lay down some ground rules, like you always have to have a number to get ahold of him and have some idea of where he is going to be, no skipping town without a forwarding number or address! And what would he have done if one of the kids had gotten very ill or been in a horrible accident and died? Ask him that. He needs to prioritize his life. If he can't do that, I would cut him loose.
454332
simply because,,, their  main concern is themselves, they are selfish little insecure boys! they have an ego the size of an abyss that is more important than any ones feelings especially a lowly woman , no matter how well u take care of yourself ,sexy, beautiful (inside and out), you can even give birth to their children!!! their insatiable need to feed their egos because of  a low self- esteem, lack of respect and honesty
396488
Your situation sounds like mine!  The father of my kids basically turned his back on us.  He ran off to live his life and complete his education while leaving us behind.  Next thing I know, he admits to having a child by someone else (after the kid was almost two years old).  I could go on and on about the situation, but I won't.  Now he wants me back because he can't find a decent female that will accept a guy with three kids AND bad finances!!!  Ha, ha, ha!!  It's so funny!  Before, the man was telling me all of the reasons that I wasn't good enough for him!  During a recent conversation, he even admitted that, at one time, he thought that he was better than me!!!  Now, he's always whining about how he thinks that we should raise our kids together, which, I admit would be a good thing.  But, I know that he wants that for the wrong reason, only for his convenience.  I could go on and on, but this is about you, not me!!  Sorry!!!  What I'm TRYING to say is that if we weren't good enough for them before, we're not good enough for them now (or in other words, we're too good for them now)!!!  I don't know exactly what your children's father did, but if he chose to run off and leave y'all to live his life as he pleased, then I don't think it will be worth your time to fool with him.  Invest your time into becoming as successful as you want to be and into finding a man that will love and respect you and your child or children!
668878
i think my dad is great.  he has the unconditional love thing down.  he sacrificed to give his kids all he could, and went without many times.  i almost lost him 4 years ago, and all i have to say i do as much and as often as i can.  mostly i say thank you and i love you!
1167222
I spent 10 years with my first love who did NOTHING but accuse me of cheating. Even after two kids and finalizing my faithfullness with MARRIAGE (which I regreat every day of my existance) YOU dont have to do a DAMN thing to prove that you are what you are, faithfull and a proud mom. Look at how awesome you are with providing for your kids no matter what curve ball life throws your way. It took me to 6 years to stop my putting up with his claims and accusations that I finally dusted myself up one day and realized, (1)How the Hell am I going to keep on putting up with this and (2) why would I put my kids through this? They are such incredible sponges and you are their role in relationships, family and love. My last straw was relationship counseling, that brought out alot of hidden insecurities that I never knew he had as well as shed some light onto several of his accusations. He actually WAS cheating for awhile and guilt wouldnt let him life it down. After 2 months of "trying for the kids" I left. Me and the kids got our stuff together, I fought for full custody and I havent been happier in a long time. There is a sole mate out there for you and HE will FIND YOU, not that you have to force it to happen just because you had kids with the guy. That is the worst reasons. You are making it alone (emotionally, and financially) you can do it without the added pressure of his stupidity. I have all the faith and prayer in the world on your side and you can get through this. You wont be alone, You will be Happy and Stress Free With Your KIDS. They need you. How old is your youngest? How old is your oldest? Dont hesitate contacting me for questions or advice. My heart goes out to you. PrncssNiki@yahoo.com
179154
In years of being unemployed, under employed and overwhelmed, I never missed a payment, but I certainly kknow how that felt for me. \nI am not done yet...but my father never paid child support.\nMatter of fact I only saw him 3 or 4 times growing up. \n\nI think as a matter of course in doing what is right, you can hold your head up, even if it is tough going.  I will tell you I honor and respect you for taking the extra effort to do this, even if it is not fair.\n\nNot all fathers are like you.  I do wish you luck.
651277
Most of them cry, and miss their children. I am a Dad, and that's what I do .