How do I either learn to accept loneliness or diminish it?
443461
Your emptiness cannot be filled with people, I don't think. Find something creative in your life, something you can do all by yourself. That way your boyfriend's presence in your everyday life would be sufficient. Use your sense of loneliness to create. Try to sing about it, write about it, or draw it. A creative project may easily be used as a form of therapy. A good artist is one who uses his feelings in his line of work. You have your feelings, now you need to find the right application for them. In some community college in your town they ought to have art classes or crafts or something you can learn. You seem to have lots of creative potential that needs to get out so that you wouldn't feel miserable. To me, it's a clear question of self fulfilment, or lack of it, that troubles you. I think you want others to fill that hole inside of you that only you can. \nBut if I am wrong, here is another idea. Try to find online friends, then you wouldn't need to live close to them. And if you think that you need to make friends faster, you have to change your attitude. Don't think of your shyness or aloofness while meeting others. Think instead, picture it in your mind's eye, how those strangers become the friends you are comfortable with, how they replace the 5 you lost.\nPicture it as something that has already happened, due to your efforts. Feel the sense of ease and pride, because it is behind you. That kind of creative visualisation helped me to overcome my own shyness and reach out to others when I needed them. And it would still be better if you had something behind you, some creative ability, diploma, something that would remind you of your worth. This would give you the necessary confidence for continuing meeting new people, in spite of all the fear and reservations. Whatever you do, the way to diminish your loneliness is to change your attitude. It is hard, as I well know from personal experience, but quite possible, especially with the right kind of motivation and creative imagery. Hope this helps. Good Luck.
1067138
I'm sure more people than you realize go through the situation you described. I know I have! And I also understand what you mean when you say that you don't want to go through it all again to form another friendship. Relationships take a lot of work to initiate and to maintain!\n\nI know you said that you can't afford a counselor, but I would really look into it some more. Do you have health insurance? They usually help you cover some of the cost; I know mine does. And if you find a therapist you like (that's really important--don't just go to anyone), tell him/her about your financial situation (be really honest about it, he/she will usually understand). If you're in school or employed, the school or job will usually have a mental health benefit so you can see a counselor or a therapist for free for a certain number of sessions. This can really be helpful--it may give you some insight into other things that may be going on for you, as well as help you figure out what the best solution(s) are in your situation. They'll also do a broader assessment and refer you to someone if they feel as though you may need additional support.\n\nHow long has this loneliness been going on? You write "lately" but does that mean a week, a month, a year? And are the "friends" that you're with right now the same ones that betrayed your trust before? How do you know them?\n\nI also completely understand when you write that you don't want to be someone's burden. I think many of us feel that way! When we have a problem or an issue that seems to consume a lot of our time and energy, that's all we want to talk about, and it may FEEL like the person we're talking to doesn't want to listen anymore or is only doing it to be nice. Believe me when I say (and I have been in both positions) that it is absolutely NOT TRUE. People DO want to listen to you! After all, relationships are two-way streets--when you share, the other person will feel more open and comfortable to share with you too.\n\nI like the suggestion of a few other people who have also answered this question: get involved with a group. Join some sort of activity (e.g., book reading club, running club, knitting club, group through a religious/spiritual organization, human rights advocacy group, etc.) in which you will automatically have something in common with the other people there. After all, you're all there for a reason, right? Conversations will be a lot easier to start that way, and it may be easier to find someone that you naturally "click" with.\n\nTake care.
790920
Well, finding a person to make you feel whole is not the answer. Hang out with family and friends more. Also, get into a new activity that you've been wanting to try. Volunteer doing something that means a lot to you. That's how you start to feel whole.
22786
Hear a good music, It is a best motivator during problems and also loneliness. Talk to your friends through phone or visit a good motivative sites. Have a chat with others and you can also read lot of good books.
653968
Sometimes it's good to feel lonely. Sometimes it's your heart's way of seeing you need some interaction with people.\n\nTake the rest of the day off and go walking where there are people. Call a friend or family member. Talk for an hour. Call up someone and offer to make dinner or take them out for lunch. Give of yourself and you'll find that the loneliness goes away as your gift is reciprocated.\n\nOh, hugs are nice, too. **HUG**
198774
It sounds like you need some kind of activity or even a change of lifestyle to fill the void.Have you considered\nvolunteer work of some kind? You meet new people and get the feeling of satisfaction from helping others.You don't\nfeel empty when you're being stimulated like that.
565890
I'm sorry about it, really! go out home, go hear people, try to talk with people, listen birds, take care about animals... i dont know what to say to you, hope u can read this answer, try find friends by net, don't give up, pls, Kissses:)
289144
I do feel it's important to stop and think, and I feel it's crucial to allow myself to feel the loneliness at times, too. That way, I'm not denying the feeling. Denial is very unhealthy. \n\nWhen I'm particularly lonely, I pray - God is very loving and gracious to give me a sense of his presence. And I do answers, read books, organize the house, exercise, and catch up with work.
1096704
I often feel left out with my friends, I think it's only happened lately. Or rather, I'm only beginning to feel this way. It feels quite hurtful sometimes - like you're not as important as everyone else. \n\nWhat I did was to ... (don't laugh) ... start smiling, A LOT. I'm serious. Happy people like other happy people. So, even if at first your smiles might be a little weird or even fake, you get used to it. And soon, you could be smiling without even realizing it!\n\nIt's quite fun actually. You could also try to be less sensitive to what other people say - sometimes, they don't actually mean to be hurtful. Just join in their conversations and laugh along. Oh, and perhaps yo could stop ignoring other people? I know it's not fun, but just try to grit your teeth and do it. \n\nGood luck!
798607
The best ways to rid yourself of sadness and loneliness:\n\nJoin clubs any hobby you are interested in (chess club, astronomy club, bridge club, womens club etc) you will make all kinds of friends.\n\nGet out of the HOUSE often. You need contact with people, any people (like at the store, library, swim center etc)\n\nGet lots of exercize, it promotes serotonin for good feelings (go swim at a pool, jazzercise, biking, hiking, walks, tae bo etc).\n\nEat healthy, very important to nourish the mind so you wont be depressed (lots of fruit and veggies and lean meat) Also take supplements (vitamins and minerals and herbs) Talk to someone at a herb shop or health food store. They have amazing stuff.\n\nRead Books (fiction for pleasure and non0fiction to learn about health, wellness, hobby, and more)\n\nGet involved (community service, find something you can help with) My best days were spent helping others. Very important for your well-being.\n\nMake contact with family and friends (make the effort to visit them, talk on phone and email them asap) See your child more often you are her mother and she needs you.\n\nHere is an important book I want you to read. It can change your life for the better.\nThe Luck Factor by Dr. Richard Weisman (amazon)\nTells you the steps to make your life better, more luck in every aspect of living, even how to pick a mate. This is one of the best books I have ever read. Please read it too.\n\nGood Luck & keep you chin up.
9025
Be a friend, be yourself, it has to go both ways and just remember that there aren't too many people who don't want any friends so it's really a lot easier than it may seem.
1082822
Truthfully, you are never truly alone, unless you believe you are truly alone.  The mind has a powerful trick over the heart.  Just don't give in to the sense that you are alone.  Look around, and find people to talk to.  I know you will overcome this sense of alone-ness. I went through the same thing.  Just trust yourself, and what you believe in.  You'll always come out on top of your problems if you just try.  Trust me.\n\nI wish you the best of luck.  Don't let the feeling of alone-ness get to you.  The worst of things can, and will happen if you do let the alone feeling in to your heart.
886475
Absense makes the heart grow fonder but it can also feel very lonely. I would try writing back and forth if possible. And find a hobby to occupy your time.
931192
Create daily tasks to improve what you see and what you feel. Start with quick wins, then more difficult ones, etc. Have three different kind of goals: short term , medium and long term. Do not despair.\nMy question is if you cannot "like" yourself: how can you like someone else. I understand somehow that you feel lonely.\nGood luck, mate. Be a winner!
228144
loneliness... but also is a name (for girls)
1017829
Definitely make some new friends.  Even or especially if they seem to be totally the opposite of people you are normally friends with.   Join an activity/club/course (sports league, book club, cooking class, etc.) and new friends will come automatically.  You may also gain a skill that makes you more confident.\n\nAlso, going to the gym or riding a bike, taking a walk, etc. will make you feel better b/c of the endorphins that exercise naturally provides.  Do little things for yourself -- like even taking a different route on your way to work/school/errands, or taking a walk in a park you've never been to, can make a big difference!
33358
I know I do not have all the answers that you need. But I hope that somehow my ideas would help.\n\nLoneliness is all in the mind. We can choose to be lonely or otherwise. Instead of sulking in a corner thinking of life's myseries and heartaches, why not boost your self esteem by thinking about the good things that happened to you  (and around you) and the good things that you expect to happen.\n\nGo out with friends and amuse yourself. Talk to people whom you trust and tell them about what's bothering you. Or get away for a while, alone - commune with nature, meditate, talk to God (or whoever you believe is the highest being). You'll realize that there are still beautiful things to be thankful for. Afterall, problems are there to be faced head on. \n\nDo not live with loneliness. Deal with it. Instead of living with it, come out a winner over your problems/frustrations or whatever causes this feeling of loneliness. You should not allow problems/negative ideas influence your life and take away the happiness that you deserve. You should take control.