My spouse ALWAYS wants sex even tho I am super ill with super LOW BP; he really gets mean!! What can I do ??
439192
that's ok if your spouse want's sex more then you but when you are sick he schould be worrying about your health not sex.it is terribly that he is not thinking of you.i have the best husbant.i was in the hosp for 2 week's had surgery and had 35 staples in me and my husbant could not have sex four over 8 weeks and he never once ask me to have sex why i'm going to tell you why because he loves me and he worryes about me.and i'm not saying that to hurt you but it's true.if your husbant loves you he would be more under standing. or you can do what my sister did to her husbant he wanted sex all the time he sounds like your husbant so she put itching powder in his under were well he did not want sex for a while.lol p.s. when he is sick does he still want to have sex?
595000
Ah, I am sorry to hear how much this is upsetting you, and I feel sorry for him as well. I wish I had a crystal ball to look into and find out what's really going on here. Something's fishy. \n\nAt the start of many sexual relationships, the lovemaking is hot! It's natural for sex to wane over time and you two were very busy. I sense that there's an undercurrent you need to ferret out, as it seems that he is flat-out avoiding sex with you. \n\nAsk yourself some basic questions: when did things change? Was there an incident that you can remember? Has there been a gradual decline? Has putting on weight, having children, a change in income/earnings or something like that happened? \n\nAs for the importance of this to your relationship, although national studies have shown disparate results, sex is not usually the number one issue in saving a marriage. However, if it's a top need for you and it compounds your feelings of inadequacy, erodes your self-esteem, makes you feel unloved or affects your ability to feel good about yourself in general, then it's time to have a serious heart-to-heart with him. Be gentle when you talk about it and try to understand what's bothering him. After that, you may need to seek professional help either together or alone — or give him up in the end.
1067329
Everyone goes through mood swings.  Guys aren't the only ones who are rude and mean - women do it too.  The key is communication between eachother so you know how eachother is feeling.  If your husband is just mean and grumpy for no good reason he might be dealing with some things inside of him that he isn't willing to share with you.  Either way, if it bothers you and you can't talk it out - there is nothing wrong with getting into marriage counseling.
845116
its actually a pretty common problem, he probably has ED (erectile dysfunction). There are meds that REALLY work, i think cialis is best. he probably will be pretty sensitive to talking about it, so bring it up gently. you don't want to be plagued with this your whole marriage. also, you need to be able to communicate about EVERYTHING, even sensitive topics like this. good luck!
377094
I think that you should initiate sex with your husband! Turn him on!...Then get on! And if that doesn't work than ask him straight out" Why don't you want to make love to me?"Good luck!
814652
i know someone that is in the exact same situation as you and it sucks for her too. since getting pregnant is his big worry -tell him you are getting on birth control -if there is no sex after getting on birth control -there is obviuosly something else wrong-my friend's husband had to start using viagra after getting off drugs -because drugs messed up his sex drive and it took her forever to get that he had a problem with a erection for months-becuase it was embarrsing to him -all you can do is ask and if that still does not work you should find someone who wants to give it up to you
961183
I'm hypertensive too but jerking doesn't accelerate my blood pressure.  I'm on ACE (angiotensin converting enzyme) and sex so far has not aggravated my BP.  Please a doctor so that he could prescribe you a medication that will suit you including your sexual worries.
227738
Consider yourself lucky!! Most women complain about being in loveless/sexless marriages. You've got it made.\n\nWith the new information posted, I would say (sadly) that you're not so lucky. Since he refuses to get help on his own, you could try to get him to go into counseling with you. You might have to make it an ultimatum, but it seems that you may be better off without him anyway. I hope he'll agree to go with you and that you two can work it out, and if not, I'm sure there's a real man out there that will treat you as you deserve to be treated. Mine and my girlfriends prayers are with you.
369560
If your taking high blood pressure medication, you might want to ask your doctor for something like Altace.  Anything that dilates the blood vessels in the body will increase sex drive.  Likewise, betablockers like Atenenol will decrease sexdrive.  Get a blood test for testosterone levels.  That will definetly help. It gradually gets low as you age.
971650
There's really only one thing you can do, if like you say you "do love" him-- just try to keep your mind off it. If you try to talk to him about it, it will just make him angry. If you are all worried all the time he will likely get angry with that, too. Buy a package of condoms and put them in with his luggage when he's getting ready to go somewhere, and when he asks you why you did it, say it's because you care about him. Don't cry or carry on, just proceed as though you have dealt with the issue in your mind and you know that you love him and that's all that matters, right? You may luck out and it will shame him into better behavior-- though I doubt it. \n\nIf you think that he is cheating on you, you should make sure you use condoms when you have sex with him, and make sure to have regular medical examinations. Tell your doctor what is going on so that he or she can give you more advice about your situation. \n\nI don't advise that you divorce your husband but if you ever are faced with evidence that he is having sex with multiple women or engaging in behavior that puts you at risk for STD, you should seriously consider separating from him. You can still love him if you live in a different house, but your first responsibility is to yourself-- take care of yourself, and remember that it's no use to argue with an idiot. \n\nGood luck! Please feel free to let me know how you're doing. He doesn't deserve you, but that goes without saying.
545691
The fact that your hubby doesn't want to have sex is a SYMPTOM of something else. You need to figure out the cause. It could be a PHYSICAL problem. There are herbal pills that you can look for at health shops which are safe and might help if he needs a physical/hormonal boost. Read up about Damiana and see if it might help. Then, it could be something like an EMOTIONAL problem. Something could have happened to him when he was a child. Often people who were abused are very sexual before they get married and then after they get married they don't want to have sex anymore. If this is the case, you need to be very supportive because they have feelings of guilt and low self-esteem. If it's not something that happened in his past, then it could have something to do with the INTIMACY between the two of you. Maybe he has an unmet NEED. STRESS also affects a man's libido!! Mabye his work is putting too much stress on him and he needs to do something about it. You need to find out the source of the problem. Counselling can help you.
779283
what an idiot! you don't say stuff like that, not even jokingly. you're gaining weight because you're carrying HIS child. just return the favor, tell him since you are the pregnant one you're bound to gain weight, what's his excuse? besides, since you're not feeling like he is attracted to you, there is no way you can be in the mood...\ndon't listen to him, pregnant women are gorgeous!
901507
It's possible that it's his attitude that's depressing what sex drive you do have to zero. All that pressure ... it's a BIG turnoff. About your age, I had lived with a guy who was really demanding for like seven years and I was virtually frigid by then. Broke up with the guy (we weren't married), turned thirty and whoopee I'm a sex maniac.... don't lose hope.\n\nI recommend you study your own psyche with respect to your sexuality and the relationship. How do you feel when he pressures you, and why exactly? Books, counseling. Do you remember ever feeling somewhat excited, when you first got together? Don't you enjoy erotica or masturbation? If you don't, you're either kidding yourself to avoid confronting the issues in your marriage relationship, or you might as well learn to fake it.\n\nOf course, I could be totally wrong ... please forgive me if you know that to be so. Just basing this on my own experience.
1156540
If he isn't satisfying you sexually then find someone who can. Trust me it will only get less and less. Try being around him nude more. Or maybe try something a bit more fun, http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0962962813?v=glance\n\nIf you can't drum up his enthusiasim with seductions like the ones in 101 nights then maybe talk sex more often. Try keeping sex talk just talk, no pressure to preform. Talk about fantasies, ask him to tell you his fantasies that he thinks you might be offended by. Communication is the number one key to sexually satisfying relationship. If you can't discuss topics like preformance anxiety, jealousy, fantasy, or sexual expectations. then you will never have as healty a sex life as you can. Maybe suggest going to a strip club together
854925
Try this test.\n\nThe next time he asks for sex, decline, saying that you are just not in the mood.\n\nIf he presses on, it's jsut the sex he's inetersted in. If he accepts your request, it is something deeper
652242
I do not think there is any such thing as "normal" in regards to this question. Each couple will have their own desires, their own wants, needs, urges and motivations. Sex is tied to emotions and other factors besides two willing bodies. In other words, it may seem normal for your husband to want sex more often, but if his mind is on work, worries, children, responsibilities etc. He may not be able to perform as well or as eagerly as he would without the stress issues.  There are also medications that can affect one's desire (or lack of desire) so all of these kind of intricacies in your OWN relationship may make what is "normal" very different for each couple. \n\nMy husband and I did not get married until we were older (late 30s for me, early 40s for him), and I must admit that the first two years was a lot hotter than the last 8 have been, but I have had a surgery on my back, and my husband has had some health problems that have had a profound effect on our sex lives. The part that really matters is that we are both happy and satisfied (not only with the sex, but with each other)!  We were friends before we were lovers, and if for some reason one day one of us is no longer able to have sex at all, I don't think either one of us would walk away from the other because of it!\n\nI guess it's a lot more important if you are young, and maybe there are ways that you could approach and talk to your husband if you want to know if HE is happy, and if YOU are not happy...then I think you should try talking this over with your husband (PRIVATELY) before you are tempted to invite others into your bed!  It may be that you could spice things up a bit to make the package more appealing. If you could just offer him a massage and if he relaxes so much that he goes to sleep, then let him sleep. Let him know that you are not doing nice things just for the purpose of seducing him. Maybe try some feminine lingerie, and instead of wearing your fuzzy pink bunny slippers and terry cloth bathrobe, put on something that will remind him that you are all HIS and that he is a very lucky man. :)  \n\nIf you have changed in weight or attitude since you got married maybe he would appreciate your efforts to improve yourself. So if you can be more helpful, less demanding and show him that you really do want him to be more attentive or less attentive (which ever the case)...Perhaps your feelings will seem more important to him. \n\nBefore you feel tempted to cheat or anything like that or if you are suspicious that he is cheating, ask him to go with you to a marriage counselor, or if you both are invested in a church, you may consider asking the Pastor, Priest or Reverend for "couple's counseling".  If you go to counseling, be honest about your feelings, and encourage your husband to open up too. If there are things in your marriage (like sex) that are not satisfying to both of you, then maybe you could find ways to make them more balanced through work and compromise. Sometimes we cannot always have things as we always dreamed they should be. There is NOTHING wrong with sharing those dreams with your spouse, so that both of you can work towards a happier marriage that is mutually gratifying in many many ways!\n\nGood luck, what is "normal" is what works for you and your husband!
1104019
It's time for some counseling!  If he won't go, you go!  You need someone to bounce things off and to get good solid objective input from.  \n\nHe may be in a personal slump himself.  If he has very little sex drive and is tired a lot, he might have low testosterone, it is not an uncommon condition.  Suggest he have a complete physical, just to make sure everything is okay, tell him you are concerned about him and want to make sure everything is all right physically.\n\nIt may be he is worried about a lot of things, and doesn't know how to communicate, or doesn't feel he should.  Guys often think they should be strong and keep things to themselves.\n\nWhat I am saying is, it might not be about you at all, though it is definitely affecting you.  And it could be that he doesn't like you bringing up the subject, so he pulls more into himself, and goes to the TV and computer to avoid interaction.\n\nI feel for you, I know this is a very difficult situation.  Don't just let it go on!  Get some outside help, at least to vent, and possibly to help the two of you communicate better.\n\nBest of luck to you!!