Satan is living in my closet what does he eat?
446442
:}\nHe eats the faithful believers,  Don't  you are safe
1097673
Wow, no offense but Satans got you right where he wants you. Satan is the father of lies, the prince of darkness, he's ready to kill and devour anything God will let him. Hell was created by God for the devil and his angels, not for people. Unfortunately some people end up there because they refuse God's forgiveness. Satans going to try and make himself appear harmless and when you least expect it he'll crush you and destroy your life. And half the time you won't even know it was him! He's that clever. Pray to Almighty God that Satan will not annihilate you.
183804
Man what the heck are you eating? Its not like you could be fixing five star dinners in your sleep??? Lock the bedroom door? Tie yourself to the bed?
1004806
That is the statement of a lost person who follows satan. It's a pitty.
186232
Hide the toilet paper, tooth paste and only leave enough food out or in the fridge for you and any kids. Next time you sit down to eat see how that Carburetor he bought tastes to him that you put on his plate. He will take the hint.
990677
Hard to say, does he have cloven hooves for feet? Does he constantly whine about how he would have done a better job running things in heaven? Does he constantly stalk about fire and brimstone? Does he have a checklist for the ending of the world? If you answered yes to at least 2 of the items above, then yes, I can safely say that he might be Satan.\n\n**On a separate note, Satan = Santa\n\nProof:\n\n1. Both spell their names using the same letters.\n2. Both wear red.\n3. Both work with little people with pointed ears.\n4. Both are obsessed with if you've been good or bad.\n\nNeed I say more?
888564
satan, separation from God
529493
Seeing as i woke up this morning stick in refrigerator. I honestly dont think i am person you should be asking. Good Luck. Oh well at least I have food. Now wheres that cheese???
347052
No need to save me, the devil only wanted advice on decorating tips for his dinning room. He's throwing a party for his friends and wants it to the biggest thing since Jesus rose from the dead. Which he is going to be there.. But you didn't hear that from me....Anyway i think there is a little more then just rearranging furniture and painting. He might have a crush on, I think. I'm going to stay in hell for a while longer and see what happens. Oh I got you an invite, so lose those wet noodles and coffee grounds, but bring those fabulous shoes cause we'll be raising hell. But what will I wear? I don't want to ask the devil, i want to impress him, after all, it's not every day the dark lord ask for advice.
87677
Did you look in the closet.
1095456
In his bedroom apparently
1070758
Buy a box of candy. Eat the candy and replace it with a wash cloth, a bar of soap and an antiperspirant/deodorant. Leave it in his room, or on his desk, where he will be sure to find it. Just don't let him know you put it there.\n\nTerry
26410
you mention satan, for christmas, get them some christian focused presents, besides that, what can you do? you are you and shouldnt change because someone else doesnt like you, i dont like the whole confrontation thing either, i wouldnt speak ill of them, ever, that way, if they do speak ill of you in front of your husband, he will start to think they are aholes
179649
Fallafel, hummus, baba ganouj, pita, dolmeh, kabobs, shawerma, foul ...\n\nMan ... now I'm hungry. =P~
1006670
NOW THAT IS FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i would be a little disgusted though, but hey, that is hilarious!!!!!!! and i got one for you to do on him: if he asks you for a glass of water, put some dish soap in the cup, then put water in it, pop the ALL of the bubbles, and let him drink up!!!!!!!!! if he leaves food sitting out, and he is still going to eat it when he comes back, put a few things in there, like soap, lime juice, chili, go crazy, but don't put anything that is poisonous in there!!!!!!!! oh yeah, and try not to crack up when he comes back and starts to eat his food, wait until he tastes the stuff, and makes a funny face. \n\ni got another one: get ketchup, baking soda and put some in the bottle. then close the lid, shake it up, and make him something to go w/ the ketchup, like fries, or something. then give him the ketchup, and let him open it, and BAM!!!!!!!!!!! a face full of ketchup. have fun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!\n\naren't i evil?
172780
Snicker's bars, cashews, a ham and pickle sandwich, and lots of coffee.  Good luck!
895399
Start eating elsewhere. Start letting the filth pile up. If you don't make the mess,you don't have to clean it up. You might even drop a few fake roaches about the kitchen until the real ones show up !