Is it selfish to stop radiation to be able to die before my grandma?
436022
Going to the hospital every day for 30 or 40 days in a row for a few minutes of radiation treatment can be exhausting and depressing but I think it is important that you at least complete the radiation therapy.  If your grandmother goes ahead with treatment for her cancer, she may live a long time yet, as may you.  Try to find things you enjoy and make the most of your time.
599014
I regret being on vacation and not by my great grandmother's side when she died.  She was fine when I left three days prior to her death, but still, she raised me and I should have been there when she passed away.
937082
That is a deep moral question.  One I have wrestled with.  My mother has Alzheimer's.  Her life is now down to lying in bed and suffering.  It is hell to watch her.  It is hell to stay away.  Should I be allowed to help her end her life?  If I did, how would it change me?  Could I live with it?  When I think about it I just cry.  There is nothing I can do to help her.  If I did help her end her life I would have to give up my freedom to be with my children and wife that also need me.  It is hard to believe that God has some purpose to this hell I find myself in, but I am not God.  I pray for it to be over for her and for us also.  In the mean time I love her and weep.  I honestly believe I could do it.  I also believe it would destroy me.  I am trapped.  We all are.  I think I know what I will do for myself when my time comes, but then I think that would have a horrible price for my loved ones also.  It seems to me that to keep the faith is all we really have.
701933
If I could turn back the hands off time I wouldn't even be here. My grandpa died that night when my mom was in the hospital giving birth to me. If She would have been at home taking care of him and not in the hospital with me he'd still be alive. I know she didn't get to say good bye and that hurts her, she doesn't show it when I'm around but I have seen her when she is alone. So If I could turn back the hands of time I would want my mom to have a miscarriage so she could see grandpa again. "I'd undo it all"\n\n\nBunny\n( &#92;_/ )\n(='.'=)\n('') ('')    Bunny
1163767
Yes..selfish.\nYou are feeling sorry for yourself and nothing seems to be going your way. \nGo to the funeral. One of your parents just lost their Mother. Think about what they are going through. You need to be supportive.\nYou said (95 years old) in parenthesis as though she should be dead by now ... and why should anybody be surprised or upset.\nYour parent LOVED their Mother ... maybe more so because she has always been there for so long...and they are really hurting right now.\nNothing will go your way with the attitude you have now... Things will look brighter soon.
1013137
Visit your grandchild.  Whether you are gay or not does not  stop you from being a grandparent.  Who writes the rules anyways.  Hell, visit your family.  Just because you are gay does not mean you should drop off the face of the earth.  Being a part of that child's life may mean the difference between unjust prejudices.  Besides, you will miss out on so much love you would be a complete fool not to share it.
512728
My atheism is mostly a private affair with myself.  I only share when asked and if I trust the person enough to tell them.  Religious discussion is not a big issue in my immediate family, so it was unneccessary to "tell anyone".\n\nOnly person I may not tell is my 88 y.o. paternal Granny.  I would only tell her if she asked....but other than that, no.  I do not want to upset what GOOD relationship I have with her, and I want to make our love for each other count for while she remains.
1072163
Has she had a PET scan to try and find the primary cancer? If she has bone cancer that has spread from an unknown primary cancer then this is not a good situation. She has been given the radiation for palliative pain control in her bones and not as a curative treatment. Make sure her pain is treated properly as it will probably increase over time. Perhaps it is time to contact hospice or make other preparations to take care of your mother. \n\nHere is a good webpage about cancer of unknown primary so that you can better ask questions about treatment options of your mother's Drs. Make sure you have realistic expectations because there is no reason to make her sick from chemotherapy if the treatment will not produce remission or extend life span.  good luck\n\nhttp://www.emedicine.com/med/topic1463.htm
1079366
I will keep you and your family in my prayers. Any time one has a major surgery there is a chance of not making it through the surgery My mom,in 2003 went to her doctor(regular visit) and he sent her to the hospital they ran the usual tests and told her they would not release her,that she had no choice but to have a quadruple by-pass.So she did,she came through the surgery fine. It took a few months for her to regain her strength,she never seemed to recover from a deep depression.18 months later she died peacefully in her sleep.What concerns me,the quadruple was a fairly new venture in heart surgery at the time.Within 6 months of her surgery,her boyfriend was told he needed the same surgery.and one month later mom's younger brother was told he needed a quadruple by pass.at the same time  a friend of mine had the surgery then the doctor tells his wife she needed the same surgery a month or so later another friend of mine had to have the same surgery!These people live in different states But...they were all on social security and medicaid or medicare.There may not be any connection or anything.But it just strikes me as odd that all these people I know had to have the same surgery.I have even wondered"were these doctors using these people as guinea pigs for practice? My Mom was 70 when she died.There's no doubt that many people need this type surgery.Maybe I am just being paranoid!I guess I am still very upset at the fact the doctor said the surgery would add 10 to 15 years to her life.Her death was totally unexpected.She was not complaining of pain or feeling sick or anything. I pray your Grandpa will have a good out come on his surgery!
36588
no, it is immoral to watch people suffer and die from cancer and alzheimers, when something can be done about these and other diseases.  Anyone who doesn't think so should spend one day at a nursing home or the cancer ward in a hospital.
1025787
There are various ways that you can choose from with this situation. My mother recently died from complications with breast cancer. I found that the best way for myself to deal with it so too be as up beat, positive, and joking as you can. Everybody is or is going to be highly stressed, depressed, and generally unhappy. If you can find any reasons to make your Grandfather, your parents, yourself, the doctors and nurses laugh, everything goes a lot smoother and happier. This creates much more happy memories that both your grandfather and yourself can pull on in the future. Be as happy as you can. Thats what got me through my mothers breast cancer. I will always remember laughing with my mom, even when she was loosing her hair, weight, and her general health. She went very happy in the end. Make your Grandfather happy and you yourself will be happy.\n\nI have a site here that takes you to the National Cancer Institute and they have all sorts of links that can and will help you out. I hope this helps.
98219
That is so awful.  They say you always lose people in 3's.  Anyway, it is important for me to tell you this...Before we all came to this place we had a plan already written.  In that plan we have 5 ways we can chose to leave this earth to go to the other side.  You sister was needed by God at that time.  She left to help God.  You great-grandson was never meant to come to earth yet, so God took him back until it was the right time.  Our world just wasn't ready for the great being he will now be in another life.  Your daughter had to go to the other side because it was in your life plan to take care of your granddaughter.  I know this all sounds really freaky but believe me... you are doing a great job holding it together.  You shouldn't be worried about helping other people especially on Yahoo!Answers, because your family is going through thier own grieving process and they need you.  You are their rock.  This is your plan.
475874
Well, I think that in some ways you are trying to be responsible, but if you dwell on it to the point that you miss out on the life you do have left, then you need to rethink things. See the point is this, I lost my daughter when she was 13 1/2. It was very unexpected. I know someone who went into the hospital for a minor surgery and died, I also had my brother in law die from cancer. You never really know when it's your time, you have a terminal illness that yes you will someday die from yet you could be killed in a car accident tomorrow. Everyone is dying, from the moment you are born your body starts the process. It is a part of life. There is no one alive who won't face it one day. I got a fortune cookie after the death of my daughter and I have it taped to my wall, it was rather weird to get it when I did, but I understood all to well what it meant.... Counting your time is not so important as making your time count.....Death is not something to be feared but rather just another step in your progression. I hope you enjoy life to it's fullest and go listen to Tim Mcgraws song called Live like you were Dying I think that's the name. It's a great song. I wish you the best and hope that you enjoy the simple pleasures and the friends and loved ones that you share this journey with. And remember\nCounting your time is not so important as making your time count.....Tomorrow is not  guarunteed for anyone.\n\nA great book to read actually a couple of them are\nGrieving the Pain and the Promise by Deanna Edwards. It talks about all sorts of grief and about dying\nhttp://www.deannaedwards.com/\n\nThe Message by Lance Richardson it is an incrediable story!\nhttp://www.americanfamilypublications.com/
1142182
I personally have had two family members in the past five years who medically were brain dead...I think it would be cruel and inhumane to keep them alive for the sake of keeping them alive.  Its not only wrong for them but also for their loved ones.  I myself would want the plugged pulled if this should ever happen to me...my sister says give her three days...I Will try.  Anyways we allowed our family members to go as soon as the Doctors confirmed that nothing could be done.
1001913
Try to live my life to the fullest because I'll know that someday soon I won't be around much longer. I watched as my uncle slowly died from complications caused by AIDS. I was only 12, it was very hard on my family, especially my mom, because they were best friends. It's a terrible way to die.
682184
All of my relatives from the generation before mine (Aunts, Uncles, Grandparents) died at relatively young ages.  Mostly in their 60's and early 70's from complications of such things as diabetes, high blood pressure and the like.  My mother on the other hand was diagnosed with diabetes at in her early 40's and has taken extremely good care of herself always watching what she ate.  While everyone else simply dropped dead over the years she is still here.  She has alzhiemers and is suffering miserably.  It is horrible to watch what she is going through.  I think of my uncles and aunts that ate what they wanted, smoked and drank until they just fell over, then I think of my mother's horrible suffering in her old age.  I am now middle aged and it is time for me to make some decisions that may decide the length of my life.  In weighing my options I'm beginning to lean towards enjoying everything life has to offer and leaving the end up to the fates.  At least I'll get good lasagna and if I have to go, well I'll go.  I'm not so sure I want to live a long, long life, now that I've seen the results of keeping your body healthy longer than your mind can last.  I would like to live as long as I can be relatively healthy.  I would not mind living in a nursing home if family came to see me regularly and I could keep my mind active.  I would not want to live with my children.  I don't want them to go through that for me, even if they want to.
1138595
Just listen, she loves you.\n Your grandma won't be around forever. Those talks will be precious memories to you some day.\n Think of the girls who do not have helpful grandma's.