I am having a tough time dragging my marriage with a person who is in love with his entire family except me.?
449920
Indian hubbys are real chicken...Give him some hard time...he will back on the negotiation table. But the parents...they are real hardcore...depending on the level of education ....Once in a while put the parents on the spotlight....then try to get 'em hooked up to some guilt trip for any good reason. Share this little secrets with your daughters so that they think it's a game and they don't get affected by this crap. At the same time....on of these days they have to deal with their husbands too!
151130
this is tough. Your only get one soulmate in a lifetime. Both of you though have families. You said you live with your childrens father you didnt say husband or boyfriend so is it that you live together but you are not together? this is really something you and your soulmate need to dicuss if this is how both of you feel. It's a tough thing. You having to choose with taking care of responsibility to your children and he to his wife or do you stay true to your heart and be together  and get through everything together. It is really something both of you have to discuss. Sometimes a person makes a mistake and marries someone they may care for but who isnt their soulmate. So both of you do need to talk and decide what you will choose to do. It is a tough choice but that is also how you know if its meant to be because if this is something you can get through than you know you made it. I wish you the best and may you recieve your hearts desire.
491253
if you truly love one another you will make it through the toughest times but family in your relationship is really hard to make it trough and you probably wont you both need to get far away where they cant be in your business all the time trust me you and him will both be happier.
475918
The behavior of your husband and his family is very un-Christian-like behavior. They should be welcoming you with open arms. It sounds like you wonder why he even married you. Don't stop praying. As with any difficult situation, prayer and God can get you through. I don't know how I would have survived some of the heartbreaks I've faced in 52 years without prayer and God.\n\nIt sounds as if you feel ganged-up-on by his family and his church. Family is one thing, and bad enough for them to treat you poorly, but for his church to do the same is unconscionable.\n\nWhat I would do is to seek the advice of an attorney. Then you'll have the information you need in making the decision to stay or go. You have to balance your emotional and mental health with the money you've put into the house. Which is more important?\n\nI'm so sorry that you are so miserable in this marriage. I pray you'll continue to seek God's perfect will for you. That He will guide and comfort you. Bless you, my dear.
827083
Be strong and do not show emotion if they try to make you back down.  You have to live with this man, so its your decision and you have to live with it.  I am sure that your family only wants you to be happy.
877543
Relationships with in-laws can be so difficult.  I know it is none of my business, but why in the world are you living with them?!!!  It would be really nice if you and your husband could have a place of your own to live.  It would not fix all the problems, but it would certainly help out a lot.  You and your husband need to stand together whenever you confront your in-laws.  Maybe your husband needs to do the talking for both of you so they will know that you both agree with what you are confronting them about.  It will be difficult for your in-laws to accept that you and your husband are one now and that they should not interfere in your marriage.  And what is the deal with them not letting you two open your own bank account?  Aren't you adults?  Don't you have your own money?  Why is it any of their business?  Why is your husband letting them control the 2 of you?  Is he having issues "letting go of mommy's apron strings" or something?  \n\nI would suggest that you both see a family/marriage counselor and ask him to help you find a way to deal with your in-laws.  I have a similar problem with my in-laws which almost broke up our marriage, and our couselor suggested that my husband and I confront them together in a loving manner.  He said that if they still refuse to respect me and refuse to change the way they treat us, we need to stop being around them.  In my opinion, you and your husband need to make a decision to put your marriage first if you want it to survive, and do not let anything or anyone come between you.  Find a way to move out.  I'm assuming it is their house since your mother-in-law has removed your belongings from the rest of the house.  You and your husband need to put some distance between yourselves and his parents.  He needs to let them know that he has a family and responsibility of his own now that they cannot interfere with.\n\nAs for how to deal...  That is so difficult.  Continually forgive them for the things they do.  Don't hold on to grudges.  Don't let anger eat away at you or turn into hatred.  It will ruin your health, your marriage, and your whole life.  Continue to stand up for yourself and for your marriage.  And also remember that when you have a child, things are most likely going to get worse with your in-laws, so be prepared.  I wish you the best and hope that you can find your own place to live and maybe a family counselor as well.
996711
A good friend of mine is going through the same thing with her man right now.  I don't think his actions have anything to do with whether or not he loves you.  It sounds like he has a very demanding family.  If they are used to having him all to themselves, it is possible that they are being "catty" on purpose and trying to come up with reasons to take him away from you.  It is normal to love your baby boy, but not to the point where you become selfish and competitive for his time against a woman that he is trying to share his life with.  \n\nIf he has grown up being a "pleaser", he probably finds it very hard to say no to his mother and sister because he doesn't want to let them down.  There is really nothing you can do until he realizes there is a problem and sets them straight.  He needs to learn to stand up to them and say, "I'm sorry, I can't help you tonight...my girl and I already have plans...but I would be happy to help you tomorrow."  There's nothing wrong with that and his family is not going to love him less for saying so.  They're acting like little kids that will keep pushing to see how much they can get away with.
808299
That is very hard!!!!  I'm sorry to hear about your rocky marriage.  Relationships are hard and it is extremely hard to let go of a fantasy, I went through that recently.  Sometimes you just need to let go in order to move on with your life.  Good luck!!!!!
657563
Maybe you should continue to stay separated but start "dating" again and work on your issues. Having children in the relationship I feel it could be detrimental to them to have him continually coming and going into the home. I would continue being involved in your church, praying for him and your marriage and continue marriage counselling. If after a few months and giving it 100% there are still no changes in him/willingness from him to work on his issues then I would sit down and seriously contemplate if this situation is right for you and your children. But hopefully with prayer and God in your life you will see some changes. I definitely think baby steps is the way to approach this situation. God be with you.
28830
wow that has to be hard well all i can say is just pray for him and yourself and try to stay in touch with him as much as possible i know a person can't help who they fall in love with i hope it all works out. good luck.
861753
after all you and your family has done for him and he does this sounds like there is no respect for himself or for his family. He is a adult and he knew the consquences before he took his actions and now he must deal with them. There is no such thing as accidently sleeping or being with someone else while you are married. With him abusing you and then cheating on you and you already having one child and one on the way all you can do is make a grown decision and ask yourself do you want to raise your children to see this? I was in a relationship many years ago just like that and really loved my ex husband however 5 years of the physical abuse and the drinking and cheating was enough I finally got out. It does hurt but you have to be strong if he did it once and you take him back ask yourself will you ever be able to let it go and forget it? Will the relationship be the same? will he do it again? will you have to live your life constantly asking yourself is he out there cheating again? Do you want to deal with that? I know it hurts but why put yourself through it again? You may never get over him I know i have been married to my husband now for 13 years and still once in a while think of my ex husband but am very happy with who i got and where i am in life. So only you can make your decisions and have to live with them and only we online can give opinions so from experience my opinion would be you have been seperated for a while and i would suggest stay away and get a divorce I would not want to raise children thinking it was ok to cheat on someone you love or raise your daughter to be tolerant of someone treating her like that so plain and simple ask yourself this if it was your daughter and she was going through this kind of suituation what would you want her to do?? Good Luck and God Bless
607775
Hi, i can understand the phase u r going through, what i feel is be practical and just forget him or else u will ruin ur life for nothing. Stand on ur own feet, don't beg for him, u r just pampering his male ego, u said he is marwari then just forget it, these people are like this only, they do anything out but when thinking abt marriage they will support their family's decision. Don't waste ur life show him u r not dependent on him, there must be somebody for u a good person who can really love u and take care of u but for that u have to come out of this phase on ur own, u will be successful just have faith in Shree Sai Baba, he helps out everyone. All the best!
151422
I struggled with mine for years.  Will she talk to you about it?  If you can't talk to her about it face to face try writing her a polite letter.  You need to stand your ground now because if you don't it is only going to make things worse later on.\n\nIt's kinda like a bully if you let her keep pushing you she will expect to keep your first born.  But yet at the same time you don't want to upset her because she will be your family.\n\nYour fiance needs to be aware of what is going on. And you need to be together on the issue otherwise it could create more problems down the line. But don't let it affect you and your relationship. It's her problem not yours!\n\nWe no longer talk to my husband's family but I really hope you can work it out it makes life so much easier!  GOOD LUCK!
985933
I used to, then I got a divorce.  It's all good now.  Sorry if that's not an option.  Seriously, just be as gracious as you can, and enjoy the people you do like.  Do the in-law thing first(Christmas Eve?), so you have fun with those you love on Christmas Day and have something to look forward to.  Good luck sweetie.
432372
Patience is a virtue, I always say. If you live with them I feel for you. Just a few things to remember, 1)if you love him then you will learn to appreciate and deal with the family that you married into. 2)Although, everyone disagrees sometimes try to bond with your inlaws and things will go better than being upset. 3)Get to know your mother-in-law as mother than just a mom but a friend or gal-pal. 4)Do something as a family together. Go out and do something that you all will enjoy.
277007
Go to a local marriage counselor.  Do it before the marriage is really in trouble.  Or there may be psychological problems that can not be fixed.  It is great you know he loves you.  Good luck
1022042
You have to keep in mind if their are children involved they will always be the first priority.  You should never expect a parent to choose you over their kids. In-laws I'm a bit shaky on. But you are  not the only person w/this kind of anxiety.