how do i help a friend who really loves a guy who is going back and forth about whether to date her?
443186
You support your friend - don't play referee between the two of them. Just listen to her and be supportive - one way love is hard... tell her you want the best for her and that you're her friend regardless....and you'll walk with her through this trying time - take her to the mall or movie(pick out a funny comedy) - have a pizza party with friends  - something to help  out when this guy has her emotionally wrecked.
835658
Be careful.  You're playing with fire here.  Either continue talking to her, and realize that you'll have to confront the issue with both her and your friend, or resolve to stop the extra contact and keep it to a minimum (only when you're all out together).  Otherwise if you keep up the communications, you risk losing both his friendship and hers. And if you really think that their relationship is in trouble, give it time to either resolve or end, and then you'll either be in a better position to see about what future you could have with her, or you'll see that she really does love your friend and there's nothing you can do about it.\n\nIf she is conflicted now, and you try to make a move, then she might feel like you're taking advantage of her emotional vulnerability, and you ruin any chances of anything in the future.  So give it time, be patient, and try to be supportive to them both as a couple.
237246
You continue to be their friend. Take it from me; guys aren't normally friends with girls for nothing. I guarantee you there's something about you that he likes. You wouldn't be his friend if there wasn't. Just remain close to him and let the other relationship do its thing. If it doesn't work out between them, then and only then, do you tell him how you feel. Let him take it from there. The best thing you can do is to not interfere with or try and sabotage his relationship with his girlfriend. If he ever finds out he will resent you. You will forever lose his trust and you two will never be together. Remain his friend, but don’t waste your life waiting around for his relationship to fail. You have fun, too!! Find your own guy to date. Maybe him seeing you with another guy will get his attention. But don’t date just to make him jealous; date because you want to. You never know, there may be a guy out there who has already fallen in love with you like you did with your friend! And you may miss out on a wonderful guy that’s been waiting to make you feel so special because you’re waiting on a guy who's already involved with someone else...
181142
Always remain a good friend...and always retain an air of mystery...who knows, he may have feelings for you and if you keep being a good friend, when he finds that "that something special" he is looking for is not where he's looking, one day he'll look at you and finally find it in you.  Don't push, don't rush it and don't say or do something you will regret because things are not going the way that you'd like them to. Good things come to those who wait.  Hang in there.
518769
Best Answer!\n\nLet's make this simple. One question had you ever met this woman in person or was this just a chat/phone type relationship? \n\nIf non of the above apply then its simple - you go to where she hangs out and you come with your "A" game of being a good friend only. She has been through a divorce and more than like is not ready for a committed relationship due to she is still healing her self. \nYour just was a good friend,but you more than like had expressed or told her how you like her more than friends and this basically forced her to bounce because she may not have wanted to hurt you. She may have sensed you to be a sensitive guy and knew you could not handle hearing she just wanted to have a person to listen to her in her healing process verses falling for her as it appears you have.  \n\nIt hurts guy to make a decision to love another person and she is not ready to love you back! \n\nNow you need someone to heal you..DAMN! \n\nHope this helps - keep your chin up buddy - You'll find another!
1045282
No she should not tell him,  If he can not handle the idea of just thinking about it what makes you think he will be able to handle what she tells him. Some times the truth is better left unsaid.  Love is about forgiveness and understanding. Your friend must ask her self this, he would leave her for a mistake, then did he really love her in the first place.  Love sees through all things and can handle hall things.
475199
to be honest with you my best friend is a girl..... we live in one apt.... and we do most of the things that you do.... we even walk naked infront of each other but the thing is that everything is very clear with our relationship..... we love each other to death but we know that we cant be more than just friends.... however.. yours can be the same understanding as mine.... at times we tend to forget why we can be so comfortable with friends.... and that there is nothing more.... no malice..... in this instance .... your feeling towards her is that you want more to be friends.... however you are not certain if she does feel the same way however her actions doesnt speak for it... what you have to consider is that .... are you willing to take the risk of loosing a friend should it happen that its only a one way street???? hence.... if your feelings are really strong you need to do it as gently and as fast as possible..... ask her for a casual date and ask her these questions.....\n\n1. what is your ideal guy.....? with this you can decern if it is close to being someone like you...\n2. have you found him??\n3. what makes him different? this will solidify your search....\n4. if all of it fits you then...\n\ntell her that you are ending this friendship ... i want more out of our friendship.. i want to take you out as my date not as my friend......\n\n5. if you seem that there is a different one tell her that you are happy for her.... but then again you just have to be honest... tell her everything......but before that... make a pact before you reveal you intimate feelings you will still be her best friend....
1075774
She is making a big mistake! Tell your friend she don't have a future with this kind of guy! She is strongly attracted to him and that is it. She doesn't know this guy to really love him, she is majorly infatuated!!!  He is the desperate one and she is falling for this guy's tricks and schemes. She should not waste her time with him. Tell her to look for someone who is REAL. This kind of relationship does not last!
262650
then how about asking your friend to help you out....? you could ask her to try to jokingly ask him about being with you or how he feels about you? its better if you get a guy to ask about it because usually guys then to answer more honestly to the same sex....
532284
Helll Yeah girl, I went through that before and look if he is a true friend then he would not put a fu** before a friend. You will still be there when their relationship goes bad and it will cuz she sounds like a biatch! Beat that ho down!
517433
well. If it were me I would go with what i think is right. If I really like the guy I would first have a chat with my friend and see what she would think. If the guy likes u not her, then there is not much point in letting him go if ur friend isn't gonna beifit from it any! hope that helps!!!
72433
Don't do anything.  If nothing develops with your friend and the guy for a certain amount of time, let's say a month, then tell your friend you wish you could date him.  \n\nShe might be cool with it, if not, then you should really try to hook them up with each other, because it would be no fair to you, if she didn't do anything at all.
240639
i completely understand what ur going through, i was in the same boat a you. my advice is, if he really is happy with his girlfriend right now, i wouldn't say anything. because right now you're his friend, and you should be happy for him, unless she really isn't good for him (meaning she doesn't treat him right). but, if and when you do tell him, make sure you do it in person. just tell him that he is a great friend, and that u love being friends with him b/c he is such a great guy. then tell him that somewhere in the friendship your feelings changed, and now you like him. that's all i can really tell you. i hope i was some help.
483786
"There's plenty of fish in the sea" is the best way to put it....I'm sure you and your friend are both head strong enough to not let a guy get in the middle of you two... considering that he's not looking for a girl at the moment.Worse case scenario if she ends up getting him is to go out w/ someone who she used to like...Remember two can play her game...shh don't let her know that though...
794142
I would ask her if she is seriuos about him but let her know that she can not keep playing with your heart. Let her know that is exactly what she is doing and that you can make her happy and just to give you a chance. she already admitted that she has feelings for you so i just think that she is getting nervous about being with you and possibly ruining your excellent friendship. I would talk to her and let her know what it is doing to you. good luck!
339174
The lesbian thing fits...cus you don't seem to have along term plan in mind with someone that could otherwise be a candidate for...I think you can save the friendship if you take the time and consideration to explain to him that its not him, its you and it wouldn't hurt to let him down easy by saying you knew if you could feel for a man the way a woman normally does, I thought you would be the man that could do that for me..but your feelings don't go there..so it would only be fair to both of us to remain friends. It might be a stretch but you owe the friendship that.
530525
tell ur friend that you are interested in him, and that you would like to get to know him better. See her response. but don't forget, men come and go, but friendship lasts.