I need advise~ overbearing, mentally unstable mother in law.?
98192
Tell her you love her however this is your life, you will make plans for it!  Love the invitation it's just very inconvenient and if she threatens suicide take her to a doctor or therapist...she is an adult...and that is a very sick and hurtful game!
975041
FOR SHAME on your father in law!  Doesn't he know that by not encouraging her, that he is actually DISCOURAGING her and sabotaging her ability to reach her goals?  He doesn't need to be "mushy" just to say, "I'm glad to know you're happy about the progress you've been making".  SHEESH!\n\nSo, I'm gonna recommend that you go to the store and pick up a whole bunch of greeting cards.  They don't need to be expensive, and they don't need to necessarily have wording that's related to the weight loss.  Just cards that let her know you're thinking about her.  Send one off to her every two or three days...If you need to, address all of them in advance so that you can just drop them in the mailbox.  But if you have time, include a note inside each one, letting her know that you're proud of the fact that she's working out...or that she lost one more pound.  Don't forget to remind her that the weight she has already lost is a great accomplishment, and that she doesn't want all of her efforts to be in vain.\n\nAlso, maybe your father-in-law can recommend a neighbor or someone from their church who might be interested in taking a walk with your mother-in-law once a week, or something.  Alternately, does she use the computer?  She might enjoy spending some time in the chat room on Richard Simmons' site...she might even find someone in her area who has had success, or needs a work-out cohort.\n\nI'm proud of you for being so concerned.  You can also let your MIL know that I'm proud of her for doing so well!!!
48491
Sounds like a dysfunctional family.  Try to deep the children away from her as much as possible.  There has got to be an underlying reason for this kind of hostility.  Any idea what that could be?  Does your husband have anything to say about this?  I wish I had some profound words of wisdom for you, but I am at a loss.
303169
This is one of the hardest things to resolve in relationships, unfortunately. Keep in mind that your mother-in-law is also your wife's mother. I'm sure you already know that most people try to please, or at least placate, their mother. You're in a difficult position, but there are some things you can do:\n\n1. Communicate with your wife ... constantly. The two of you must not allow this to interfere with your relationship.\n\n2. Communicate with your mother-in-law. Do NOT retaliate in kind ... EVER! Do NOT lose your temper! She obviously angers you, but you have to be bigger than that. Ask her what it is that bothers her about you and offer to try and change at least some of those things ( IF you can and IF they are not part and parcel of who you are ).\n\n3. If you can afford to, you and your wife should find a competent marriage counselor to help you cope with this problem ... soon!\n\n4. When the baby arrives, I suspect your mother-in-law will want very much to see him/her as often as possible, particularly if this is her first grandchild. This gives you an excellent lever. Stress to your mother-in-law that this is both YOUR child and HER grandchild, and that both of you should want to do what is best for the child; and that her berating you will definitely NOT be good for the child. As an ABSOLUTE LAST RESORT, if you and your wife AGREE on this, BOTH of you have a talk with her mother and tell her, as gently as possible, that the TWO of you have decided to not expose your child to your mother-in-law's berating of you. Stress that, if she is willing to stop it, she can visit anytime the three of you agree. Let me stress again that this is a LAST RESORT, and should only be used if BOTH you and your wife truly AGREE!\n\nGood luck with this, and don't foget to seek that which is best for ALL parties involved.
842658
Your mother in law is forgetting the meaning of THANKSgiving.\n\nDO NOT let your marriage be dragged into the mess.  If you ate with your MIL last year then YOU and YOUR husband should honor your sisters wish to have the whole family together.   Explain to dragon lady that this is the first time in years your family has been together and RE invite her to enjoy a day with NO work. \nI lived it the WRONG way for 23 years I spent holidays at my in laws because we are neighbors and my mother in law DEMANDS it.  My mom lived 3 hours away and my  household was used to the big family get together next door.  SO we ALWAYS went to the in laws...So MY mom had a 3 or 4 person Thanksgiving .  \nMy mom died in June and I wish I had spent more Holidays with her. \n\nIf YOUR mother in law lives near by,  and your husband sees her regularly~  Then let her whine about Thanksgiving.    She should NOT be allowed to manipulate YOUR life with YOUR husband.    Visit her for PIE at her home after dinner, but do NOT give in and eat there.\n\n\nSorry so long , but TRUST me... I lived it the wrong way for 23 years...
865717
Remember that mother in laws had mother in laws too.  If you get along with your mother in law, then just act normal, have fun and allow her to make the main decisions; it is of course her kitchen.  Accept her suggestions with grace and all should be fine.  If she loves to cook, she already knows what has to be done, so ask her when you get there, what she would like you to cook - whether its the potatoes, cranberries, etc.  And if you are not sure how to cook them, ask her, make her the center of the cooking and don't try to make it a competition.  Good luck
491495
You can't.\n\nMy mother in-law was a leach to our marriage for 2 years after she left my father in-law and then it got worse when my wife was pregnant and we had our first son. I hold my mother in-law 50% responsible for destroying my marriage with her interference.
809102
Wow. I'm not sure that anyone will really have an answer to all of that, but one thing to try for sure is going through the courts to find a good councellor for her. If that doesn't work, you could always consider a boot camp. My brother attended one after going through alot and putting my family through hell and back. He's a changed person because of it. If it comes down to her using your husband in one of her "plots", I would seek help from a paid professional. If she is lying to hurt you, there has to be something going on in her head that makes her think that it's ok to do. I hope this helps in any way.
314817
Tell it to my mother-in-law
855475
If she's kind hearted, be thankful. Many mother-in-laws do MUCH worse things. Get a tub, put a label on it, store the clothes. Think of it as shopping in advance. If you must, donate them. Don't assume what her reasons for this are, it may make complete sense to her. By the way, if she does this every year you must have clothes that fit them from two Christmases ago. Personally I think, be kind, let it go, life is short.
638099
Some jitters and questioning are normal and I do not think you are over the top on that. There are things you may want to change about yourself by not nagging as much. All men are moody and only you know if you will be happier with him. The mother in law issue could bring real unhappiness and she is way over the top. I have to ask myself why he would tolerate her screaming at you. You are marrying a family as well as your husband.
865556
Mom in Law is experiencing a new life and as everyone else goes thru it, it'll come as being routine in time as well.  Things will settle down and she'll see the light again.  Give her a chance to live a little..... life's too short.  You sound a bit selfish, sorry to say. Most people WANT their inlaws out of their business. What's wrong with the brother fixing up her house? Nothing. Not to be critical but you remember how it is when you feel so alive when you first start dating someone? Well?  It's your mom in law!  She is feeling alive and beautiful.  She loves your children I'm sure and in a couple of months when the newness wears off she'll be back. :))))  Take care!
1183684
What you've suggested is really all you can do. You gave her good advice about communicating with her husband and going to counseling. Beyond that, it's really none of your business and not your responsibility.
662922
tell mom-in-law to do things your way in your home or hit the highway...[its your life] make your own choices..
94173
block their #s from your phone. write to your in laws (return reciept) and tell them point blank: this is MY husband NOT your little boy. you've done all the raising of MY HUSBAND that you will ever do. mother in law, if you have a husband then HE needs to provide for you. MY HUSBAND does not need to provide anything for you. that's YOUR husband's job. and to sis: do you have husband? no. then you are your PARENTS responibility. go get a life i got mine. and tell your husband to get a SPINE and use it. he chose you not his sister.
1055586
Well, I am an alien to my mother in law! I am from a different country, different culture, and the worst thing: I'm independent!!! She thinks that my husband (her little baby!!!) should control every single thinking I have...   What I do: as I can't change her, I just Play the role!!!!!! Visiting her once a week, and sometimes inviting her to go out.. Thing that she'll never do, but ok, I did my best.  As much as I can, I keep her "apart" from my relationship, as well as avoiding mixing, even when we are together!!!! Consider that my husband was living abroad and he understands my way - it's more than enough!!!!And of course, praying to Allah to keep me on the right way....
771968
Honey\n\nYou and your hubby need to move out!\n\nEven if you have to live in a small dump, its better than putting up with the stress!!\n\nMove out soon!