Should I tell my Mother he has kids? and should she Care?
80086
You should definitely tell your mother that he has children. She's going to find out anyway, right? So sit her down and have a heart to heart with her and explain to her that you're very much in-love with this man AND his children, then ask her to please accept your new family into her heart as well. Most parents want their children to be happy. I'm sure that's all she wants for you.
17164
Well, life moves on, and people handle loss and tragedy differently.  What may be too soon for you may not be for her.\n\nAs far as telling her about how people feel about her new boyfriend, just sit down and tell her straight out, honestly as you can, but gently and in a civil fashion.  You also should avoid things like "Mom thinks this, and Dad said such-and-such, and Uncle Bob thinks this...".  If you blab things others have said to or around you that they thought was in confidence, there will be lots of anger and hurt feelings to go around.
708771
Talk to your mom about it
850023
I know this is going to sound screwy to you but we all fall short. We all disappoint. We all are unworthy of the ones who love us most. I am 27 and married for 10 years. Your dad made a commitment to your mother. Not you. How do you know that she doesn't know? Maybe she does but doesn't want to look at it. Why don't you write her a note? Since you now know about this, it will eat you alive until you get it out in the open. A letter is the best way to deal with it. And at the end of the letter write this. Mom, I wanted you to know these things but i'm leaving it up to you to make it spoken. If you want it will never be brought up again. If you want to talk about it i'm behind you. Love her and support her with what she wants.
1127332
I would tell my mom that I was disappointed but it's not my place to meddle in her marriage.  I would tell dad to talk to mom about how he feels.  I would also tell him to follow his instincts, after all, he should know her better than anyone else.
611845
No, you should not ask him out.  Go read a book get your minds off these almost grown men.  I think it's time you had a little talk with your mother.
591217
Absolutely whether you like them or are still with them. you should always respect her for being the mother of your child. One day out of the year show her how much you apreciate what she does for your child.
1176271
I think give them to her when you first see her.  \nI have a five year old and three year old, and I haven't seen some of my friends for a long time.  They don't have kids yet.  I would want to know that they were interested in meeting my kids, or okay with me bringing them along.  Giving a gift is a great way to show that you support her as a mother and you're totally okay with her bringing the kids around.
1034839
Honey, I dont know if i completley understand the question..i"m guessing he is a father, then maybe he might want to be w/ the kids, and if your the mother then your doing the right thing by wanting to be w/ him on his day. But sounds to me, it's not a big deal to him.  Not cool.
174064
Children of any age resent any "outside" interference from sources such as yourself in their lives.  They always consider that maybe, the parents will return to each other and they will be "one happy family" once again.  And, if by chance, your "man" was widowed, the kids think of you as the "Wicked Witch of the West" trying to replace their mom.  After 2 years, I would think you'd have a better hold on everything, but it appears maybe you and the "man" hasn't really sat down and discussed these matters for the future. But you state, its "your feelings toward the children" that you fear, not their feelings toward you?  Evidently, you can't accept the children and only want kids between you and your man.  Now that's a major problem and if I were you, and can afford it, I'd seek professional help on this matter.  And if you can't afford it, maybe the welfare people in your state might assist in financial matters?  I'd find out ASAP and get this problem either corrected in my own mind, or split with this guy knowing you will never accept his children as yours.
1173966
Wow, kids and razors.  \n\nDoes your mother know?  go tell an adult ASAP.\n\nIf you are an adult, God help us.
1072449
tell him exactly what you just said, i see no offense in that. and as a compromise, just tell him that you are willing to live close to her, so he can check up on her as often as he wants to. but i think that especially as newlyweds, you will need your time alone. best of luck. and by the way, most guys are mommas boys (im one too) so dont expect him to let go of his mother, i doubt that will happen, but you should see the good in that. because most guys that love and respect their mothers, tend to treat their wives the same way.
717524
How the heck can anyone have X children?\n\nIf these are the children of a former spouse and not his biologically, then he sounds like a wonderful and generous man who will be good to you as well- so leave him alone.\n\nIf these are HIS children with a former spouse, then he sounds like a wonderful and generous man who will be good to you as well- so leave him alone.\n\nEither way, this is not an argument you will EVER win.  Even if his kids are taking advantage of him- it's none of your concern - So leave him alone.
1033657
You're doing the right thing by not sharing too much info. It shouldn't be with just your grandaughter's mother that you are doing this with but with anybody. You've learned something....just when you think you can trust someone you find out they're not this trustworthy person that you thought they were. NEVER tell someone something that they can use as ammo against you.
512215
What's more important to u the friendship of the guy, or being able to feel guilty, since your mom has been though what she has, she should understand, how bad would it be if she found out, would u be in more trouble then not telling her. I don't mean to be mean to u but really that is just selfish, & your mom should respect u for telling her the truth. It's understandable what happened under the circumstanes. It depends on how open minded your mom is. good luck, i would talk to her, i'm sure u feel bad about your friend, also i would tell your princple, that boy will have that on his record. do the right thing.
296010
Perhaps you can talk to him and see what you can sort out. It would certainly be better if he could tell you earlier so you can make plans for them. It will be an ongoing issue for your relationship so you need to sort things out both with your kids and his kids. You want to avoid having a situation where he perceives that you are asking him to choose between you and his kids.
962060
i think it would be wise to ask your hubby what is his opion about all of this first before asking other peoples opinion. since he already know everything about your past, and i think his ok with it, give your man the respect, by asking for his help his your problem. but for me i dont think it would be wise to tell your ex about the baby, for it will definitely open doors for a questions and if i were your husband i would definitely dont want you to get too involved with your past specially with what happened to you and your ex. but thats just me. . .  the best thing you can do is to pray for God's guidance. goodluck and GODBLESS to you and your family.