When u fart and it was loud or it stinks what should u do????
90769
wave the air over at friends, and blame them
24864
say excuse me and get on with life!! It was just a fart and guess what the ladies that you farted in front of fart too, so how offended can they really get?
677028
Well Fart Man :) you might lay off the simple carbohydrates for starters. That can really give you gas. \n\nIf you feel one coming on you should excuse yourself and go into another room with a door to shut. Shut the door... fart...  come out and then BE SURE to close the door behind you! :) Air yourself out then return to her. \n\nNo one like smelling other peoples farts so I hope you are in shape so you can move when you need to. I really don't think it would be fare if further down the road you started getting put off and even possibly angry at her for you needing to get up to keep her breath space unpolluted. \n\nMaybe you could take charcoal tablets and reduce or eliminate simple carbs. \n\nI did see this guy on that Inventors show that had invented a FART PAD that one places in the underpants to absorb the odor. I thought it was a great invention... The judges just laughed at his invention...The judges seemed pretty immature.  What a shame. That guy might have them on the Internet though. I forgot what he called them. \n\nGood luck!
353393
if i farted in bed while having sex \nthat should be the most hilarious thing I've ever done LOL
487011
Okay you asked for it. You know when you sit on the toilet to poo? well do that but in your pants. When you feel a mushy senstation and smell what you ate yesterday you know that you have succesfully pooped yourself.
456230
evil stinking-fart master ! (that was for u )
739026
Give her whatever it is you take after you stink up the bathroom...or are you saying you sh!t doesn't stink?\n\nWhy do you do these things?
1074875
I would suggest, and it is only a suggestion, that you stop breathing in your farts in the shower.  You sound like you've got a lot more problems than just bad breath.
833864
Look around the room for an intake vent and stand by it and slowly release the noxious fumes.  Don't go right back to your chair!  The stench will be hanging in and around your pants.  Let the odor dissipate then return to your place.  OR you could fart-walk your way to the restroom which I don't recommend.  You know it is going to happen so try to have an "escape" plan.  Best of luck to you!!
938767
Wait until you get a fart that's really hard to push out.  That way when it does come out, it has some serious speed to it.  Faster air produces higher notes, regardless of where the air is coming from.
740137
find out what food is theirs in the fridge and fart on it! Take that you Bastards!
97915
hmmmmm............maybe you're gassy????
1127167
to fart fart fart fart fart fart fart fart oops almost a turd,fart fart fart fart fart and keep on farting until your head falls off. oh-oh i  just FARTED  hope this answers your question. something stinks in here
443322
you can't stop it. if you did, you would die. Read a Heath book. if you eat.. you fart.
145625
LOL MY NEW BOYFRIEND WAS AT MY APARTMENT ,HE STAYED THE NIGHT WITH ME HE LEFT ME SLEEPING SO HE THOUGHT LOL TO GO OUT ON THE POURCH HE FARTED IT WAS SO LOUD!!,BUT I NEW HE WAS TRYING TO BE QUIT ABOUT IT ILMAO WHEN HE CAME BACK IN, I COUDNT STOP LAUGHING! HE WAS SO EMBARASSED ABOUT IT,I JUST ASURED HIM BETTER HE DID IT OUT SIDE THEN IN MY BED LOL WE HAVE BEEN TOGETHER NOW FOR 4 YEARS HAVE A BEAUTIFUL BRIGHT SON. NOW I CANT TURN HIS ASS OFF!!!!!!!!! ILMAO TC : ]
765469
Try to avoid making a splash. My advise is to put a couple of squares of toilet paper down the pan before releasing your turd. This way when the turd lands, the paper will cushion the blow and you will avoid any embaressing splash noises and the much dreaded "splash-back"
996913
The Most ambarrasing thing which happened to me ,was.......................My first public fart!!\n\nI was in a examination hall, Writing my exam. All was queit ,When Suddenly some kinda pressure built up in my tummy.\n\nOops!! I knew it was a fart comin up.\n\nI tried to stop it from come out.\n\n"Oh man!! If I fart in here, all the ppl will look at me,....so ambarrasing!!!!"\n\nI tried wit ALL MY might to stop it from comin out.\n\nBut unfortunately, It HAD to come.\n\nThe pressure was building fast and I cudnt hol longer!!\n\nI thought of letting it go slow...........psssss...........But no!!!\n\nThe MOMENT I let it go!!\n\nBANG!!!!! \n\nI had done it!!\n\nARGHHHHHH!!!!. My DARNED fortune.............\n\nthe moment the deadly noise shot outta my butt, all looked up and a amused smile played in their lips!!\n\n*blush blush*!!!\n\nSo, does that make you laugh darling??