What advice do you have for someone who is afraid to speak to others because she is to shy?
92849
..Yes there right...(sadly though theres nothing wrong with being shy)..that is untill it interfers with your life & slowly engripts U in it's will.\nBut it sometimes just takes time...time to say:Y do I let this dominate me,I can get rid of it...face it in battle & win! If she can..then incourage her.\nIm shy to,but sometimes being shy can work to your advantage.\n-megnalon
152483
I have the same problem...I usually tend to be very normal with the people I know....but when it comes to new people or strangers I shy out...so just pretend that you know the person...not literly though
501402
You don't have to call yourself pathetic. It's ok to be nervous when talking to the opposite sex. I used to get nervous talking to guys when I was younger, but somehow I learned to manage and now I have a boyfriend. I'm still a shy person and I guess that's part of my personality. I guess you have to give it some time. Think before you talk. What is it that makes you stammer? Think of interesting topics to talk about with girls. If it helps,write some of the stuff down that you think you'd discuss with a girl. Then rehearse it so it'll prepare you for next time. I know it may sound stupid but you can give it a try and no one has to know. The key is making yourself comfortable when talking to girls and talk to them like you casually talk to your friends. Once you get the hang of it, I'm sure you won't feel nervous anymore. It's just a phase and it'll go away with time. Don't worry, just relax. Good luck!
628526
I can relate with you as even I am an introvert but I try my best to step out of the comfort zone. Make a conscious effort everyday to say Hi to everyone you know. That would improve your confidence with the people you know. Once you realise you are being accepted by them, you will slowly gain confidence and then you can try the same with meeting new people. A casual talk on the weather or the surrounding is the perfect ice-breaker. Its all in the mind, and once you conquer it no one can stop you from being an extrovert.
608274
Dear Cowardly Lion, \nEveryone has courage, you just have to find it. Being shy is one thing, but you do not want to go through life regretting that you allowed your shyness to make the decisions in your life.  Be the king of the jungle and ask her, the worse thing she can say is No, OZ said that to us once and we managed to go on.  Believe me this will not be the last time in your life you will hear this.  Let go of your tail and go ask her.  If you can't do it in person,  call her, but go forward and take your rightful position as King of the Jungle. Good luck. Dorothy, Tin Man and \nScare-crow.
223012
Try to strike up conversation at work with people, even if you don't think you have anything in common with them.  You never know what anyone is really like, and people who don't know you will take shyness as being aloof.  Be sure to make plenty of phone calls and write letters to those who you do know, no matter how far.  Explore and enjoy your new surroundings, and sooner than you think, they won't be so foreign and looming.
147455
ptoms of shyness\nblushing \nheart pounding \n"butterflies" in the stomach \nstrong feelings of uncertainty \ndifficulty carrying on a conversation \nPossible causes of shyness\nlack of confidence (ok... that's too obvious) \ninferiority complex (you are a creature of GOD, why would god discriminate in his creatures? think about it... and stop feeling inferior) \nyour thinking pattern (of negative thoughts, so fear creeps in, and your subconscious mind reacts according to that) \nlack of knowledge about the expected behavior in social situations \nsometimes, its based upon your previous experiences \nFirst of all you will need to learn how to relax. Shy people often get anxious or "tensed" in social situations. When I say "tensed" I literally mean it. In social situations, where you feel shy; you get tensed up, your muscles tighten, all of your body literally builds tension (like if we stretch a rope). All you have to do is to loosen yourself. Anxiety Cure\n\nThis may help:\n\nEvery night before sleeping lie down on your back. I will recommend removing the pillow. Put your hands beside your body (so that they point to the feet). Now take some deep breaths. Say to yourself my body is getting relaxed. Imagine all of your body parts going into the state of ultimate relaxation one by one. Start from head to toe. Imagine all the tension in your muscles is getting out from your body through the fingers of your hand. Finally all of your body is completely relaxed and you are experiencing ULTIMATE RELAXATION. At this time imagine a golden light which is giving you infinite power to help you succeed in every aspect of the life. This way you will get a very sound sleep also. \n\nNow again coming back to social situations... if you start getting tensed... just say to yourself "RELAX" and imagine all the tension easing out from your body (as you do while sleeping). Ease your shoulders and loosen up. You will be more calm and cool then. Now say affirmatively to yourself: "I am in control of how I think and feel - no one else on earth has this power unless I give it away." And this is a FACT. In this way, take control of your attitude, and you will take control of your results.\n\nNow the technical stuff explaining why the muscles get tensed\n\nWhat happens in our bodies when we are under threat. It's very much chemistry. When subjected to a threat or fear, such as real conflict, your body will release chemicals to help you fight with the situation. These will affect your body and mind in certain specific ways. Your heart beat will increase. You start loosing control over your tongue. You no longer remain who you actually are. Your mind stops working and you know what to say. \n\nThe SOLUTION - How to loose fear?\n1. Let me make it clear... FEARS HAVE NO REALITY (yes, I am shouting). They doesn't simply exist. They exist only in one's mind. I will make it clear. A small child can be paralyzed with fear when a playmate says there is a monster under the bed who will grab him in the night. But when the parent turns on the light and shows there is no monster, he is freed from fear. The fear in the mind of the child was every bit as real as if there were really a monster there. The thing he feared did not exist. In the same way, most of our fears have no reality. They are merely illusions. \n\nMost of the fears exist more from PROGRAMMING than from reality.\n\nOk... let me tell you an another story when I was young (say, 15 years old). I didn't know driving. I had a fear in my mind that I can not drive and will not able to drive for my entire life. I really feared driving. But, then I started to learn driving. I used to drive very slowly, fearfully. But gradually, I learnt to drive perfectly and all of my fear was gone. And now I can drive as rashly as you can imagine without any troubles or fear. So what we learnt from this? What we learnt is that... we should face the fears
124175
Are you sure you are shy and not just lacking self esteem? There is a large difference. You have friends so it probably is not shyness, someone somewhere has knocked what you have said about something and it affected you. That is normal, I think most people go through this at some point in life. \n Advice- well just talk, don't even think about it. Say what comes to mind when someone asks you a question. If you don't know the answer please don't be afraid to admit it, this is how you learn in life. I grew up ( I am 48 yrs old now) with the thought that I was stupid and should never open my mouth. Guess what I had an IQ considerably higher than those who said I was stupid. They just had to make themselves feel better by keeping me down.\n Eventually I learned to open my mouth and not care what others thought about my words, and yes I made mistakes, but mistakes can be corrected. Just let it out, you may actually open someone's eyes to a whole new world or concept they never thought of.
403000
Do something and increase your self confidence.When talking don't too fast take your time and let the words come out.Those who laugh at you aren't worthy of being called friends.I know I had this problem too,still have it but not so evident.Hope this helps.
162344
Everyone feels shy sometimes, but being too shy can hamper many aspects of your life.\n \n \nSteps:\n1.  Determine why you're shy in the first place. For example, are you scared of what someone might say about your physical appearance? Remember, there's an underlying reason for how you react in situations.\n \n2.  Act as if you're not shy. In private, behave as if you're oozing confidence. Hold your chin up, stick your chest out, add a swagger to your walk and speak firmly. It may seem ridiculous, but you will see results when you're out in public.\n \n3.  Practice making eye contact and smiling in your interactions with others. Strike up casual conversations with strangers about weather or current events.\n \n4.  Look your best. One way to improve self-consciousness is to always look good and limit ways you can be self-critical.\n \n5.  Lower your fear of rejection by imagining the worst possible outcome. If you approach someone, they may say "no" or they may just walk away. Absolutely everybody has been rejected at some point, but no one has to dwell on it.\n \n6.  Look and learn. Watching friends or even strangers who aren't shy is a good way to learn some tips first-hand.\n \n7.  Feel positive about yourself, don't get frustrated and have fun. Remember, the real goal is to find someone who will like you for who you are.
793471
You can always give a friendly hello and smile. That should tell them something. If they're shy, think of a non threatening question and start up a conversation. No one ever said who should start the talking. At least not nowadays.
658208
remind yourself that everyone says dumb things so there is no reason for being afraid....most people are afraid to talk in front of people because they are wondering what the people are thinking of them....everyone is not perfect
565928
Sounds like she's shy too.  Ask her if she'll like to hear a story about something funny you did (as a child perhaps)then tell her.  \n\nOr talk about a scene in a funny movie you've seen or one of those Freddy teenage movies.   \n\nOr you can be honest and upfront and say to her - I'm normally talkative, but when I'm around you I feel shy, she'll open up as well.  \n\nYou'll be surprised to learn most people think they are inadequate in front of people they like and they feel more comfortable if you tell them you do too.
227786
My main problem is i feel that when i talk, others will laugh on me so i mostly keep my mouth shut. How can i overcome my fear?\nWell the first thing you need to do to get over this fear is to proof it to be false. You see fear can be a strong motivater, but also an even stronger demotivater. We know for a fact that the "fear of getting burnt", keeps us from touching a red hot element. The reason is because one way or another we have tested it to be true.\nFear as a demotivater raises its head by what I refer to as false truths, which is simple truths that we believe but have never really tested.\nIf I would be coaching you personally I would encourage two activities to help you test out your fear. First what might at first feel stupid but works well, is simply speaking to yourself in the mirror. Look at your reflection and consider what would be considered a good conversation with the other person. Talk about what is important to that person in the mirror or what is really the other person.\nSecondly, I would reccommend that you have at least 3 conversations with complete stranges. Strangers are further from your comfort level of acquaintances and therefore have little regard to you personally if the conversation was effective or not. Simple start talking about the weather and go from there, but be precient, the payoff is awesome and you will soon realize your fear was no more than a false truth.\nTo understand effective communicating, please check out my blog. It will help you on your way to success.
46855
practice and know what you are going to say. The more confidentand comfortable you are, the easier it is to speak in public. \n\nremember almost everybody - even the smoothest of speakers has some anxiety when talking in public - it is only natural.
1127757
If you can, have a party. Invite the people you know and like to bring friends. If you have people over on a fairly regular basis they will start to bring more friends over. Plus you can use your duties as host to get over some of your shyness...asking if people want another drink, etc. is a good excuse to strike up a conversation with someone you don't know very well. \n\nIf you don't have enough space to have people over you might consider picking a bar or restaurant that you like and try going once a week for a while. Eventually you will become recognizable and you might be able to strike it up with some of the bartenders/waiters or other regulars. If it's a bar the alcohol is a great social lubricant and helps everyone overcome shyness. Just don't over do it. If your into sports that is always a topic strangers can talk about.
945359
start writing a journal, reading it back will help you discover more about yourself.\nread a lot of books.\ntry and start overcoming your shyness, meet other people and realise that you are fun to be around.