my bfs xgf keeps calling him. like every other month. she seems desperate. how do i get her to stop?
81639
that's a very bad situation. only advice i can give you is based on the experience i had last year. my situation started out like yours and ended with me stayin in a crack neighbor hood and my boyfriend tryin to kill himself cause of the ex. i think it's a bad situation and you need to take whatever steps you can to get her to stop. legal or illegal. if this situation is f*ckin with your head then you NEED to get out of it. don't put up with S*it like that, you don't deserve it. there are other ppl out there
616744
She's obviously a desperate dog, who has nothing better to do with her life than try to harrass you. Whatever you do, if you love him, DO NOT badger him and DO NOT start feeling insecure, that is what she wants, you have to trust your man, make this experiance bring you closer together. He will respect you more for being totally honest with him and standing by his side.  The next time she calls you laugh at her and let her know how stupid she is being, make her realise that is why he is with you and not with her
500699
Yeah...it sounds familiar ...I have an ex who tried the same...basically you have to set boundaries as it's not appropriate for him to visit you given his feelings and the fact that you're committed to another man. Tell him to use the phone or mail to communicate but don't expect him to go away -it's been 18 years since my ex has been doing this but as he's basically harmless I haven't really cared. The important thing is -is your ex harmless? Or is he someone who may act on his obsession? Finally I want to say -be sure you're not sending mixed signals...I've seen too many women not be clear about their wishes only to whine or press charges later when it's their fault for not being direct in the first place! Be honest with him and tell him to scram! There's my advice...I hope you take it! Edit~ I got your mail....If you hate him as you say AND HE HAS 'HURT YOU SO BAD' then why are you putting up with him then? Get a restraining order! Call the police and file a complaint and ask them to tell him to stay away! I thought maybe you still liked him on some level but since that's not the case you need to be pro active! Don't sit here on yahoo talking about it-do something about it -and I mean right now-today! Make sure you don't regret not doing anything!!!!!!!!! Everyday you let this go on-you encourage him more, and give him hope and he will become more relentless! You have been warned!
1125268
YES!!! DEFINATELY!!! If he's not calling u then y'all 2 need 2 talk and if he don't wanna talk then do exactly as i say: (say this straight in his face and look deep down into his eyes) u need to tell him that his shit is pissing u off and that he needs 2 start calling u at LEAST 2 times a week cuz u can't take it anymore worrying if he's ok or not. My bf is exactly like yours and this got through to him. He calls me every single day and i'm lovin it!! Any how tell him EXACTLY how u feel. If he's not a jerk and if he cares about u like he says he does then he should listen and he'll start doing what u want him 2 do.
433106
tell her, 7 months pregnant or not, he's a sleeze bag. tell her and an authority figure too since he threatened you. dont live in fear because of that loser!
243408
The best thing you can do is ignore him.  The more you call the more power you are giving him over you.  Have some respect for yourself.  Most men want what they can't have.  If you are constantly calling then he knows he has you right where he wants you.  Pull yourself together and if he truly wants to be with you, he will come crawling back to you.
366966
She is using you, she has a boyfriend that she will marry if you don't stop talking to her now your going to get hurt even more. C'mon you are a doctor you can have anybody you don't need to limit yourself.
929831
Ouch, maybe you need to change your phone number! Definitely stop answering her calls and avoid ANY contact. Don't give her a chance to curse you out. If she does anything crazy then maybe you need to threaten to get the cops involved.
536244
I would say you need to stop calling her your girl and just consider her as a f@3$k buddy. Then what you need to do is take H.I.V. tests  and everybody double check.
476216
There's two people you need to talk to.  First person is him.  Explain how you are uncomfortable with her always calling him and you feel she is interfering with your personal time.  Tell your man that if he really wants this relationship to workout, he has to set boundaries with this girl because obviously she doesn't get it.Second person is her.  Tell her you know what a great guy he is because you and he are together.  However, you guys need alone time.  And if he wants to hang with her, HE will initiate it and schedule a time where all THREE of you can hang out.  Maybe hook her up with a guy you know.... Yeah its palming her off on someone else but you do need time alone with your man.  But just let her know that you are uncomfortable with the amount of times she calls a day and that every now and again is okay but not 12+ times.  \n\nIf she does keep calling and he's uncomfortable, you might want to look into having him get a TRO or something.  She may or may not be after your man (She could be bored or something and not have anyone that wants to hang with her cuz she sounds a bit clingy), but make sure you keep a level head about you because how you react to her clingy-ness could make you look bad.
1144518
Who knows what id going through his moind. One thing is for sure though. Hassling him will only push him further away if he is needing space. I know it's hard , but try not to call again. let him call you. Maybe he has just been busy. But if not, then when he wants to call you he will. If he doesn't call, then he isn't that keen and maybe wasn't worth the trouble in the first place.
443484
He needs to change his numbers. And you need to confront this girl.  Tell her that he is your HUSBAND and you both agree that you want to work out your marriage, and that your plans do not include her.  If she keeps harrassing you, call the police.  There are all kinds of charges (Harrassment, unlawful use of telephone) she can be slapped with
502091
There is nothing you can do.  You have to just be there to pick up the peices when she realizes what he is doing to her.  I say this because I have been in this situation many times, and she will eventually realize that he is just using her.  She needs you to be supportive of her decisions, and not to critical or she won't come to you when she needs to talk to someone. \nTrust me when I say she will truly realize that you only want the best for her, but you need to let her make her own mistakes.\nGood Luck!
393482
If he left her and she is still in love with him just know that she wants him back...she is trying to stay in his life in hopes to get him back.  I would as him what is the nature or the relationship (If they have childern I am sorry you have to deal).  I would ask him to limit or stop the phone calls because it is bothering you....Just know that this could be a problem for him if he has underlying feeling for her.  \n\nJust know that he is with you and you mean something to him...\n\nI have had that done to me with an ex, he just kept calling me to try and break us up....after awhile she will get tired of the chase and quit calling...you just hang in there if this guy is worth the hassle!
186709
WHOA! You should defintaly try to explain yourself again and make her understand. I would be furiuos if my girlfriend stayed at her Exs for a week. Thats totally uncalled for and you have every right to be pissed. I mean theyre Exs for a reason right? Yea man thats definatly not cool, and if she insists on keeping contact with the Ex then maybe theres still some latent feelings towards him. If she doesnt get it, then tell her that her still talking with him is directly effecting your relationship and could possibly be the downfall of it as well. Godd luck with that man.
128480
It's time for you to call her bluff.  Tell her you're uncomfortable with the situation as-is & get some distance from her.  If she ends it with her current BF, go-for-it...otherwise, get away from her.\n\nSHE has got a choice to make.
641569
talk with him and hang out with him. I mean if you have his phone number trying calling at 8pm and talk for an hour. if he is busy, you can hear what kind of reason he is giving. Mainily "oh i got another phone call, can i call you back or talk later" just do this for a few nights. If he keep stoping the talk at 9pm every night, then he has a girl that he is calling or the girl is calling him.