How do I deal with a nursing home where my mom is not getting good care?
93748
have you talked to the people who manage or run this nursing home? if not maybe you should talk to them and if that doesnt help you could go to your local newspaper and complain places like that hate when they get bad PR
1073181
take her for a tour, have her spend some days there (some places will let you do day programs), you can ease her into it., let her make as many decisions as possible.  \ni just had to put my grandma into an assisted living place, for her it wasn't so hard...but she was on a lock down dementia unit (from meds) so any place was better than that.  \ni work in a assisted living/skilled facility and most people love it there once they are there, and really there is no connotations with that "kind of place".\nsee what kind of place that she would want, most places have single apt, or shared apt. some will come equipped with a microwave and small fridge, some don't...some are large (like living in a apt complex), some are small (like living in a family)....there are different levels of care (level 1 and level 2)....some have a RN or LPN on duty all times..some just have CMT's......\n\ngood luck
146565
I'm sorry. Please forgive me if i sound unkind, but your parent was responsible for YOUR debts when you were young. Can't you help her out with the $621? I mean, this is your mother we are talking about. Not a vet bill.\n\nThe nursing home provided your mother with a service. Why shouldnt they get paid? Why try to cheat them out of it? I set up payments for what was owed for my fathers care, and it was very well above what she owes.  \n\nIf you just cant help your mother out, at least try to find someone else that can step up. Get in touch with her Medicaid caseworker. See if they can help with past bills. If they cant, then ask them for a list of people/places that can.
1145128
it is not unusual for the elderly of her age to slump...especially in female.  disk space narrows, muscles atrophy, etc.  the first suggestion i read here would apply to olympic athlete...much too vigorous.\nwith the agreement of her gerontologist, she ought to seek an organized program of supervized water exercise, such as given by local Arthritis Associations, YWCA's, etc.  by all means, the beginner's class in which many aged people are generally the bulk of the participants.slowly does it...and the social aspect will help as well.  your mother is not atypical for many people her age, male and female.  Medicare will not pay for such programs, but I checked with my local Arthritis Foundation which has classes in an inside swimming pool, and 3 classes per week costs $45.00...perhaps you could help defray the costs if your mother does not have sufficient income.....i have no idea what her personal circumstances are, but it might make a great birthday present......and if you pay for it, she will feel obligated to go, even if she does not want to....can she drive? if not, perhaps you can drive her?  perhaps your community has programs for the elderly that include picking them up for such activities?
781234
your mom is offering to help you!! she wants the best for you and is willing to do what it takes for you get treatment and life on back on track..she seems like a responsible caring woman so i would say stick with your mother even if it means getting kicked out of your house! its only because she loves you and until you figure out the consequences of your actions..then i presume she will keep doing it
1094597
Living with Mom isn't working out--and rarely works out for many people.  \n\nWhether you've always lived with her, or you recently moved in with her for whatever reason, I highly recommend you get a place of your own.  You'll never find a wife living with your mother.  Get your personal life in order to the way you want to live it, then bring your mother into your life to care for her when she needs personal care.  Or get a good enough job to hire people to help with her personal care.  \n\nUnderstand your mother's history will help you understand why she worries so much.  It's like having a parent who grew up in the depression.  Her unique life experiences cause her to believe these things are important.    You can understand and respect her without living with her.  It's possible.  I promise.
842053
go into nursing, it is a nursing home.
999289
your mom is going through empty nest syndrom...\n\nWith no kids to take care of she is lonley and is in need of some companionship...\nDrink is a way for her to cope with  this...\n\nHow ever she might be getting into the drinking to much...\n\nTry an interventions of sorts .. Get your other sibblings together and a range a family get together...\nYou might find this could help..\n\nAlso try calling your mom for no reason at all and ask her a silly question about cooking cleaning anything... \nI think your mom need to feel that she is needed and by asking her silly questions she will feel she is wanted ....
27700
I am assuming you are looking for a parent or grandparent.  The best ones actually are the local ones.  My mom has a program like this down in her area that is not advertised anyplace else and they respond really fast.  They are also less expensive than the well known companies and just as good.  Look in your local phone book or call a nursing home and see whom they recommend.
832603
deal with it its not forever. I took care of my mom for 4 years everyday. she died 2 years ago and was 82. toward the end of there life they get what is called terminal restlessness. where everything bothers them and they are easily agitated. I just kept saying if i gave up i would never forgive my self. there are places that will come and help maybe sit with him for a few hours so you can do something for you. Good luck
1142586
That's the best idea, keep them at home.  We did as long as we could.\nHowever, its more difficult that you think. Most people in this culture work outside the home. In other cultures they do not. We have a lot here because we work all the time.  You can not care for an elderly person if you are not there. If you try to do it in shifts-then no one gets any sleep. \nSome Nursing homes are the pits-I agree. But some are great. You must prepare for the time when you have to deal with this. It is gut-wrenching. But 'good' nursing home is better than keep ing sick old people at home. Try it for a couple of years and it will wreck your life.
367521
Sorry, about your mom. You must help her, but not only that you must be with her all the time and she must know that she can rely on you. Tell her that you love her - that is the most important, she must know you still care about her, and can be a good stimul for her to quit!
959312
First of all...God Bless your mother!  I commend her for what she is doing for your Grandmother!  We went through this same thing with my Grandma a few years back.  What we found what the best answer for us...and the least costly was...we hired a lady to live with and care for Grandma.  Most of her pay was room and board...paid her a small weekly wage, and she stayed 24/7 and only taking off 1 afternoon a week and every other weekend.  Then, we called an in home health nursing facility to come in daily for medication, bathing, anything the live in was not qualified to do.  The live in was responsible for meals, house cleaning, companionship, making sure her bed was clean.  (My Grandma was bedridden for the last 8 months she was alive)...this live in companion/caregiver enabled her to stay in her own home until she passed.  We found the live-in by running an ad in the newspaper. Please feel free to send me an email and I will go into more detail.  By the way..we are in Indiana.  I would be glad to help you research and answer any questions I can.  This is a very tough situation for everyone involved.....My Prayers and thoughts will be with you!
509703
Try getting your mom out of the dumps..\nThink of something she likes to do and you wouldn't mind doing..Go somewhere together..hang out with friends and family..You make her happy, you'll be happy.\nGood luck!
429329
you have to call the facility, each one has its own social worker on sight they can help with any suggestions or questions. what ever you do before you place your loved one in a retirement community . do a pop up visit, go in during lunch and just walk around to see if the residents appear to be getting proper care. this is the busiest time of daay for the staff and you can see for yourself if they are well enough equiped to care for your family member
172277
Yes, you can get paid for taking care of your mom.  If she gets SSI, SSD, you can go to the local office or department of human services can help out as will.  you will have to apply for services (medicad form has all the information that you will need, just check what she needs and who lives with her), and state that you are her primary caretaker, and that she would for you to take care of her.  chances are you will get hired, or not depending on how everything works out in where ever you are from.
1074504
Don't you know nursing homes don't want to hear about things like false documentation,abuse,neglect.They want it swept under the carpet.First of all you need to report this person to the  board of nursing.Secondly you need to file for unemployment compensation at your local employment commission.You can draw if you are fired for anything other that willful misconduct and that means "intentional" I am so sure you will get it,even if you have to appeal it.These politics go on in nursing and it is sickening,that is why this R.N. of many years is no longer nursing.Obviously this person is a butt licker.That is what they like.If this company has a corporate office then I certainly would  make a complaint.You shook the sheets and they don't like that.Find something else but if you can afford it sit back and draw unemployment.I did for 6 months