Should old relatives should be cared for by their families? Or should they just be left at nursing homes?
78867
As long as a family can take care of their family member the better.  Nursing homes are a horible fate that no one should have had to face if can be avoided
241973
Just a personal point. Do not rush your choice on which facility you place your family member in.Do your research.Make sure you visit the facility and try talk to people who have had family their. Watch how the staff interact with residents and check with your ministry of health and long term care to see if the facility has had complaints or violations.It is difficult enough to have to make this decision. My family had to face this decision and were not given enough time  when we picked a place for our father.We had a choice of a place 15 minutes away we could visit frequently and another about 1 1/2 hours away. It was heartbreaking to see what our father endured.We put our concerns in writing and set up meetings to try have issues addressed.Chronic bed shortages made relocation a nightmare.Do not be dismayed though. You would think that since the government licenses these places the re would be a uniform standard of care.NOT TRUE.There are good nursing homes out there with caring staff and good programs. Our family did not have the luxary of time to research a place. It is my one regret  that my dad died  surrounded by people who didn't care. Good luck to you and don't sign until you feel it is your best choice. been there, I know
1057885
My grandmother, a devote Christian, always said she didn't want to live in a nursing home.  She spent time in  a nursing home a couple of times, always for a short time to recover from this or that health problem.  When her health failed to the point that she knew she would have to stay in a home, she and her kids cleaned out her apartment on a Saturday, she spent Saturday night in the nursing home and early Sunday morning she had a fatal stroke.  Did she will her life to end?  Did she pray that her life would end and the prayer was answered?  Simply coincidence?  Perhaps some people can simply decide they are done here on this Earth.
905157
I dont want mine in homes when they get old. Just like I dont want my son in daycare. You cannot trust them damn strangers with people that are that close to your heart. You dont know what goes on in their personal lives ... for all we know they could be mad at life or have something wrong with them and decide to take it out on the people we LOVE!  The risk isnt worth it.  Haven't you seen video clip footage of people treating the elderly badly in those homes? Check Maury out lol
992110
I hope you are ready to hear this, but she may be getting ready to die. Have you looked into nursing homes? When it gets to be too much for you to handle, you might want to look into hospice care, they help the patient and the family for the inevitable. But when a person stops eating, they have given up and are preparing to die. When looking at nursing homes, don't get freaked out by the price, because they usually don't stay too long. I'm going through this with my dad right now, actually he wants to go because he knows its getting too hard for mom to take care of him. Best wishes.
149564
nooooooooo I would take care of them! Inless they just wanted to go which I dont see why they would. I would take care of them like they have for done for me. If something happened to me and I couldnt take care of myself they would take care of me. I love my parents!
1123070
when you are no longer able to take care of yourself.. like cooking, bathing,handleing money.. if you are not able then you should let the kids take over.
792687
Your grandfather has Alzheimer’s and it will only get worse, there is no cure for this. My mom has it and I am taking care of her. No you are not overreacting about sharing a room with an eight-year boy. Can’t they fix the basement or attic into a room for one of you or add on a room in the back for you. Grandpa needs to be close to mom as it is very trying to care for a loved one in his condition. Your mom will need all the help she can get and if you are helpful you will stand a better chance of getting a separate room. I think there are laws about boys and girls sharing a room if the youngest is of a certain age and eight sounds plenty old enough but if you go to the authorities about it grandpa will end up in a nursing home and your family will be terribly upset with you and you will regret what you did to grandpa in the future as nursing homes give terrible to no care. If worse comes to worse maybe you can put up a divider wall in the middle of the room. I wish you and your family the best of luck.♫
64784
I Know What you mean my dad had a stroke 5yrs. ago and since then I've kinda become his personal assistant. There are a few companies that provide personal nursing care but these are usally expensive. There are also some assisted living places that help people when they need it but allow them freedom the wouldn't have in a nursing home. I know both these options are expensive. However, other than these all I really can suggest is for a family member to stay with him. I know I help my dad with a lot of things he used to do everyday I make sure he remembers to take meds and help him go to bed. Its a difficult job, and I'm still going to school, but if you or one of your family members wants to help him sometimes this is better than letting a stranger.
818678
We are all getting older and most of us will some day become "aged".  A society is known and remembered for how it treats its weakest and most defenseless, and the aged are certainly part of that group.   \n\nA society can support its aged by enabling them to retain as much dignity and independence as possible.  This can be accomplished in a variety of ways, including establishment of affordable accessible housing and provision of home care services for those who can no longer quite keep up with the demands of running a household.  Meals on Wheels are important to many older people, as are special transportation services, telephone services for the deaf and hard of hearing, and assistive living devices such as "grabbers" to allow a person to pick up an item from the floor without bending, walkers, and various tools that make everyday tasks easier.  If each of us did a couple of hours a week of volunteer service to help the aged, their lives could probably be made much happier and less stressful and many more older people could continue to live in their own homes.  Kindness, caring and compassion go a long way and make a huge difference.\n\nThe aged need human contact and companionship, just as we all do.  Pairing elementary and high schools with seniors' complexes can often do mch to alleviate the loneliness of old age.  \n\nSupporting the aged is not the responsibility of governments alone, but part of the responsibility of all of us.  It is sometimes good to reflect, and to remember that the people we affect unthinkingly today may be our caregivers tomorrow.   Getting old is a fact of life.  My approach is to treat the aged of today the way I would like to be treated when I am old.
607662
There are so many people who should receive money (or help) \nand don't: people in charge of sick family members or spouses, people in charge of children with special needs or disabilities, people in charge of their elder, even mother with young children. I agree with you that families who have to take care of ill children should receive help or money, and maybe be put ahead of those with kids who have learning disabilities (as illness requires more extensive and expensive care), but I wouldn't take any helps already received away... It seems so hard to get any!
633714
yes you should. Why? when a person dies the family is going through so many emotions and everything is a fog.  They are so hurt and sad and at times don't remember who all came to see them and it's not because they are being rude, they are just so consumed with not having the loved one there anymore.  So, yes you are doing the right thing and they will be very happy to know you care.
1112256
you should look for a caregiver placement service.
672369
Dementia's such as Alzheimer's tend to strike heavily on both the patient and their family.  Most alzheimer's patients tend to lose their most recent memories with progressive cognitive losses extending farther in time.\n\nOne of the problems with placing these patients in a nursing home.. or any new environment for care is that the patient cannot remember their new place.  They end up living in a place that every day is new and bewildering, as opposed to being at home where they have lived for 30 years.  \n\nWhether you need a professional to assist in bathing and dressing her depends on how well she currently can do these things for herself now.  If she cannot are there any familial/friend support systems (people willing to help) do these functions now.  And lastly if these people are capable of performing these things for her in a reliable, daily committed fashion.  \n\nIf she cannot take care of herself, and there is not family/friends that have the ability to assist her daily doing this.... and you can financially afford the professional care - then hiring help may be the right solution.  \n\nYou might also consider having them come a few times a week instead of daily.  This might be enough to let the current caregiver catch their breath, step away and clear their head.  It also is sometimes valuable as you can get tips in caring for your grandmother from them that you had not thought of.\n\nI wish you the very best in what must be a difficult situation.
655850
it's ur duty to take care of your old parents (financially, emotionally, and in every possible way), as it was there duty to take care of you as a baby, child, teenager, and adult.\n\nit's ur turn.... remember what they did to u... even if they were bad, really bad.. it's still ur duty and God will ask you about them on judgment day!
518971
old folks home often refers to a nursing home. anyone unable to take care of themselves can be placed there. they also take everything they own. and all ssi.
959312
First of all...God Bless your mother!  I commend her for what she is doing for your Grandmother!  We went through this same thing with my Grandma a few years back.  What we found what the best answer for us...and the least costly was...we hired a lady to live with and care for Grandma.  Most of her pay was room and board...paid her a small weekly wage, and she stayed 24/7 and only taking off 1 afternoon a week and every other weekend.  Then, we called an in home health nursing facility to come in daily for medication, bathing, anything the live in was not qualified to do.  The live in was responsible for meals, house cleaning, companionship, making sure her bed was clean.  (My Grandma was bedridden for the last 8 months she was alive)...this live in companion/caregiver enabled her to stay in her own home until she passed.  We found the live-in by running an ad in the newspaper. Please feel free to send me an email and I will go into more detail.  By the way..we are in Indiana.  I would be glad to help you research and answer any questions I can.  This is a very tough situation for everyone involved.....My Prayers and thoughts will be with you!