what do I do to start  my divorce?
88342
Yes, you have to get a lawyer.  The fact that you don't feel safe around him or feel your child is safe hints at a serious issue.  The main reason for a lawyer though is to ensure that your kid is taken care of.  There is no way that you can do that on your own without help.
229066
My opinion would be: start to once again see your ex. But on a "haven't seen you in years so what's up" type of seeing him. Get to know him once again. Maybe even do some volunteering that you can do with bringing you child (if their old enough, have them help out too). Invite your ex to come & volunteer too. While volunteering you can see what he's like around people he doesn't know and in an environment he's not used to. Plus you can see how he acts around your kid & if your kid likes him (most important). \n\nAfter everything has had time to "settle" and you know if you could have another relationship (after going over everything that you have noticed and if your kid likes him), then you can contemplate whether or not if you'd want to be with him. If it's mutual with you both, then that's when I would bring up the point with your current husband. Talk to him about you & him only (don't bring up your ex AT ALL). From his answers and reactions to what you're telling him (with you saying he's becoming to controlling), then you can decide if you should get a divorce. If that does occur, then you will have your ex that you can go back to. He will be there for both you and your kid. Plus if a divorce does occur, and everything works out, then you can get married. \n\nWouldn't know, but maybe when you talk to your husband have some friends &/or family with you too. For many reasons such as support, their side of the story, and if anything happens...hopefully not (DON'T have your kid there. have them with say your mom, out for the day)\n\nIf your husband does find out about you seeing your ex, he can’t accuse you of cheating, if you spend time volunteering with your kid, or participate in events that you work with other people, but also work with your ex too. So you truly won’t be cheating\n\nHope whatever happens, everything works out!!
1016719
Get a divorce kit at Walmart and follow the instructions.  As long as he doesn't contest anything it will cost you very little.
691022
Find an attorney.\n\nIf it's a simple divorce with no division of property, alimony or custody/child support issues, you can find forms on the internet and file yourself.  This option requires a lot more work on your part but it's cheaper.
459055
The best way to help your ex get on with his life is by getting on with your life. Show him that there's life after divorce, and happiness. Be courteous, but not over-friendly. Discuss what needs discussion, like the kids, or whatever, then have places to go, and things to do...don't spend time in useless dialogue. Also, as far as property goes, settle that as soon as possible. If you and he have no possible reconciliation, no need to spend a lot of time together. Move on!
61060
It depends on where you live.  Most states have pre-printed forms for most of the divorce process.  You should also look for free or low-cost legal assistance in your area if you can't afford an attorney.
298383
You might want to try therapy but if its to the point where you know in your heart its over then the best thing to do is figure out a way to be friends and it will make the divorce go smoothly.
258291
Nothing is free, but you can get a divorce cheap. try one of those legal places, like we the people etc.
1060383
Divorce him AND your family.
12995
at your local court office you can get a divorce packet,both of you take it to a parralegal have it filled out before you and stipolate a agreement,noterise it and enter it into court, as uncontested ("both") parties .you should receive a short wait for a court hearing, if both parties are still in agreement the judge can order it "so" there and then.just make shure that you are inagreement , whith all issues , such as children ,money or holdings, and dedts.
1096006
It depends on who filed first.  If you filed first, then your court date is first.  Have your lawyer talk to hers, let them sort out the legal details.\n\nEither way, you're getting your divorce, which is a good thing.
750254
Ring the court up that you got divorced in. They will be able to help you by telling you who to phone or write to.
387585
I really dont know about the legal issues. But after a divorce, I would think that socialising, meeting freinds, would be a good idea, but this is the time to have a good look at yourself. Reading a bit on the past, and thinking of where and what went wrong, analysing issues within yourself might help. Immediately dating, getting involved with someone may be just to cover up for your present emotional self. Iam not saying you are imbalanced or cant judge for yourself, but emotionally just getting out of a relationship, specially marriage which was a serious committment, you may want to just take it easy and slow. This is the best time to just wash away all the negative aspects of the divorce thats left in you, and then slowly move on. Getting involved in activities that would divert your mind, getting more positive, moving around with freinds, travelling perhaps.. would be really good, ... Slowly as you get your life back together again, and you know its right to or its ok to be involved with somoene and most importantly, it feels just right, then move on. \n\nGood luck !
90078
Wait until its final.Don't be in such a rush.That's probably why you are getting a divorce now,you need to take your time.
670607
Please do not put too much of your heart into this new man, you need all of your senses and energy to finish the divorce and to be centered to a healthy balance before starting a new romance. It is not fair to the new man or yourself to rush this, ....if he is the ONE for you then he will be patient and wait....use your wisdom that God has granted you to get thru these time and pray for support daily from the heavens.
200225
If you are considering another relationship with her then maybe marriage counselling would be a first step.  If you can get through that then I might consider trying again but obviously there were serious issues that warranted the divorce to begin with.
1127450
Wow, 20 years! Counseling is definitely the first line of defense! If you are willing to try one last thing before ending the relationship, please try counseling with a licensed counselor. It seems like the easy way out now but believe me, the hurt and destruction divorce causes makes losers of everyone involved.