how to live with narcisstic spouse?
87286
Accept what he/she is or change the way he sees thing gradually...
1103358
counseling is wonderful...if you truly going to work on trying to save your marriage...and living apart while doing so is not bad either...you could start fresh ..so to speak.... however... how can you try to save a marraige if you continue to see and want to be with someone else?\n\nthe only feasable way to truly try to save your marraige... is to tell your friend...that he will have to back off for a while...so you can see if you can salavge your marriage...who knows ...there is a possibility your husband could change...and you could see the man you married to begin with; but...if it doesnt work...you can leave knowing you gave it 100% ...and start a new life with your friend.  \n\nall in all ...you have some serious thinking to do ...this is something only you can answer...we are just here to offer suggestions...\n\ngood luck
343870
The only thing that you can do is wor on becoming the best you that you can be. You made some big mistakes in your marriage. Work on becoming a better person and learn to accept yourself for the changes that you have made and are still working on. You cannot and will not change the way she thinks..........until you change you.
820970
Stop posting the same question over and over again.  I answered it already.  Leave your wife if you can't stand living with her.  If it's abusive, you'd pack your bags and find a better life.  Otherwise, stop sitting around in your undies at the computer trying to figure out how to get back at her!
14338
* Buy another one for him\n* Ask monthly rent payment\n* Love him and change your mind\n* Make it difficult to live with you at the same home
1148036
you don't deserve to keep living like this!  suggest marriage counseling and try to work things out. then, if not, u have to decide your next step.
335908
Discuss the problem with your husband, then together you just ask him to leave.\nIf he gives excuses and refuses to leave, pack up everything that's his and put it out front and don't let him back in. I'm sure he'll find someone else to mooch off of.
1164933
Get a lawyer - some will take your case & get payment from your husband plus attend some type pyschological counseling.  You  are being screwed here.   You are entitled to  spousal support; plus visitation.  File an OSC & ask attorney to go ex-parte to get  you temporary financial support until the hearing.\nYou can also fill out paperwork online if CA,,, use this website \nhttp://www.courtinfo.ca.gov/selfhelp/  \nChild needs counseling & when you go to court demand child get it.  No child has the right to pysically abuse their parent & you as her parent should not be penalized by losing your home or the other daughter.\nSeems husband is not doing right by you...  you need to get angry & start standing up for yourself &  your rights
652225
I FEEL SO BAD! Where's the time for you? I didn't see anything for you at all. I didn't see any counseling for yourself. My fiancee has ADHD also and I know how that part of what you're going through. We're not married yet, but it's taken quite a bit to get his mom to finally accept our relationship but, your mothers treatment is UNACCEPTABLE! You ever watch the Nanny on tv? She says a childs behavior is UNACCEPTABLE quite a bit. She's not a child (which would be more Acceptable) she should be showing you more respect. You can only do what you can handle. You're first priority is to yourself and your immediate family. Meaning you, your children and your spouse. Your husband needs to stand up to the plate. (as my fiancee finally did) He needs to back you when it comes to his mother. His first priority is with you and your children. He also needs to be helping you with the children and around the house as much as possible. Even though he doesn't work, you two need to have a night out once-in-awhile by yourselves. Maybe, you can talk to your mother-in-law about a limit of times to help her and she in return watches the children for you night out. By this I mean EQUAL TIME. As far as the bills, reality isn't that your mother-in-law is going to pay the bills. First off, I don't see if you're living with your mother-in-law but, if you are that's going to be a majority of the problem. Which getting your own place would be greatly advised. There are places that can help with deposits and financial resources. In all, it makes me believe you are living with your mother-in-law and that's going to be a very hard and stressful situation. My advise is to move. Your husband may be ADHD (so is my fiancee) but, he still needs to know he is to be responsible. Write down what he needs to do and try to involve the children in all the chores. Watch "The Nanny." Or go online if you can't get that show in. She helps not only the children but, the relationship with the parents towards how to keep everything together. You're not a work horse and no one should treat you according. Good Luck!
778090
sound like the twin of my ex mother in law. I am assuming her hubby isn't around to torture anymore. Hubby feels like she is protecting his interest. He needs to be reminded of who his interests really are. Ultimatum time. Don't let this unhappy person get you down to her level, where she will be more comfortable with you. Move away. Find her a Hobie, like "find your way home"
696347
Ok first off it doesn't matter WHAT he has, he needs to talk to a psych as he's obviously have issues. No one on this board can tell you want he has. Especially because mood swings and frenzied activity can be symptoms of any number of disorders and conditions. I'd also suggest you offer him an ultimatum. I have a friend whose husband told her if she didn't see a psych he'd divorce her. She had thrown a family size can of creamed corn at his head, amongst other things. She saw a psych, got the appropriate meds, and they now live happily ever after like normal people. You don't necessarily need to move out...just make it clear that his behavior isn't to continue and he's GOT to see a psych.
87560
If you're really frustrated living there, I would look into a different living situation, if financially possible.  Maybe live with friends/roommates if money's an issue. (That seems to be the main reason most ppl live with family.)\n\nBut while you're still there, work on communication with them.  Suggest a time when you guys can talk, and tell them about your concerns.  Using the "I" language helps reduce defensive behavior.  So, instead of saying "You never listen to me", try saying "I feel I'm not being listened to".  The first version can come out sounding accusatory, whether you mean it or not.  They'll hear the second version as you communicating your feelings.  \n\nGood luck!
131863
Explain to your husband that you love him but you need your own space away from his family.  Move out and leave room for him in case he follows you.  Give yourself a few weeks of peace and quiet.  \n\nIf you can't afford to move away from them, try to get some counseling for you and your husband.  A counselor will have a better chance of getting through to him and make him understand that you need your privacy and you two should get your own life....Good luck!
346623
This is one of the most difficult questions I have seen here. There are only a few ways to do this...do you have weekends together? Plan one weekend a month where mom (either, or alternating) agree to take care of the kid and GET OUT OF TOWN, at least get away to a Motel...sometime sleezy, sometimes nice. Leave the TV OFF. Concentrate on each other...talk, coo, pet, soothe, console, hold eachother, do things together that have NOTHING to do with the home...like sneaking out on a date, cram as much of eachother into this time as possible. During the week, a 10 minute quickie initiated by one or the other...always be responsive whether you feel like it or not..given the chance, even a tired body responds well, often better than an energetic one. And, it doesn't take sex to make for a passionate affair. And unexpected call, flowers for no reason, a kiss on the back of the neck. Show interest in each other's lives. Support eachother, avoid arguing ...takes work on both parts but it is well worth it. Love, romance, and union are not always about sex. He could watch the babies for an hour or so to let you take a long, relaxing bath by yourself ... alone time is necessary for a good relationship. Work, work, work is the only true way to make a relationship joyful and rewarding. Take when given, give when it will be taken...was all love to please our partner...show your partner that they please you, turn you on...leave nothing to guess on their part. Smile, laugh, and when you are so tired you cannot take another step, remember your other half is in the same boat. Be super considerate. YOu do not have time for fighting, for that takes time from positive, reinforcing love. Remember, the kids will grow faster than you can keep up with. Be united in your efforts to raise your children on a path that is nurturing, loving, with definate boundries you both agree on. A united front towards the kids provides no room for arguements. Pay the bills on time and no arguements will arise for the electricity being turned off. Phone, gas bills...someone has to pay them...make arrangements with your bank to pay these bills with online payment..takes very little time. Share duties for food  and prep whenever possible. The couple that works and plays together stays together..with common goals that are not obsessive. There must be time for play, as well as family duties. We all to often spend too much time in percieved duties at the expense of what really counts...the relationship. It would be greatly beneficial to have one of you get another job...one more conducive to more time together AND more time apart ... we all need personal space. Too often, in misguided romantic notions, we feel that we should be everything and all to our love...that never works. We both know that. With compromise and agreement, you will reach a great, healthy and workable balance in this life. Work for it after agreeing to it. Know that agreements will not always happen, but one or the other has to give now and then. We can only bend so much before we break. Do not let it come to that. I wish you the very best of love and luck in this. YOu deserve it and can keep it with firm resolve to put your lover's needs before yours...within reason. I do care.
584854
Try learning how to spell, then file for divorce.  Document his abuse with photographs, or by telling someone, so that you will have evidence for when you go to court.
803123
You can't stop them.  They are part of being human.  I would listen to your husband because it sounds like he's not going to change.  You really need to think about getting into therapy to figure out if you want to stay in the marriage.
1025223
I think you already know.  You are not happy in this marriage, your husband doesn't care about your feelings at all.   You don't see any way to get him to change and you don't want to live this way.  I don't like to recommend divorce but if all you say is true than I think that would be the best thing if you want a happy future for yourself.