What do you think of geting married arranged(The indian way) in todays perspectives?
82365
Well, i am not particularly a fan of it, but i dont necessarily think itsa bad thing either. The idea of it is marry first, fall in love later.  Iprefer to find my own mate, because if the marriage fails, then it was my fault and atleast i can say, i did love him and for all the went wrong, look at what went right.  When the marriage is aranged and fails, then the tendency to harbor blame and anger exists.  But i think in a way, it still exists all over the world, even in USA.  Being set up  on blind dates, meeting ppl through friends...etc are all formsof arrangements, just not so final.
692541
Sure!  I probably wouldn't feel nearly as cautious about it if more of these relationships were 2 men/1 woman, though, instead of 2 women/1 man.  There's something frighteningly archaic and patriarchal in the latter case, but I do believe that consenting adults should be able to lead the lifestyle they choose.  Morality is subjective, and "marriage" is only "sacred" if you're a christian.  For the rest of us, it's a legality.  There are still plenty of us who are NOT christian, and who don't care to revert to the 19th century and live under the oppression of that incredibly limited perspective.
952816
I do believe you are right, to a point.\n\nIt WAS traditional for the wedding to be held in the Bride's hometown, but that was back when the bride was purchased.  Back then, the Groom's family would come to the Bride's home, pay the price for her, hold the ceremony so her family could see that everything was legal, then they'd take her with them and she'd likely never see her family again...\n\nI doubt this old tradition continues for the same reasons in most of the world anymore.\n\nSo, you two need to discuss the pros and cons and come up with an agreement based on your individual situations.  Claiming "tradition" in this case is kind of silly...
602865
I'm totally against arranged marriages. How can you vow to love this person for the rest of your life when you don't really know them or love them???? Atleast if you know and love the person you are going to marry, the marriage has a chance of succeeding. When in an arranged marriage, what do you do once you find out you have "nothing" together? No love, no interest, you can't communicate with one another. You have to find out all these things BEFORE you marry. I disagree totally with arranged marriages.
278983
I totally agree. I think it's gotten worse in the last several years. The feeling seems to be "It's my day" and that the wedding is all about the bride and making sure the bride gets whatever she wants. There's no concern about what marriage really means.
494978
i have an whole essay on the topic. if it has to be arranged then, i suggest it shld b moral values. they dont teach u in schl how to love. they dont teach u how to live, they teach u how to earn a living. it shld b moral values. but parents tend to look 4 educational stuff, cuz morals can be faked. how would u judge a boy at first sight. he might turn to be a rascal when he is married with the girl.\nin my opinion, it shld be education+morals(though more prefrence to morals)i'm in delhi. plz contact me. i have answered u'r 2nd question also. plz reply. i am a relationship expert(i solve luv problems) i study in d.r.s.r.k.puram. i'm 16. if possible, mail me u'r phone no else mail me to know my no:   kamalrishi@gmail.com
292576
looks like you might have married the wrong woman.  maybe the sex will get better and i supppose there is a chance youll fall in love with her.  These things arent supposed to be left to chance... Was it an arranged marriage?
394148
sure ,why not.but the marriage can take place either in india or america. wish the bride and groom a very happy and prosperous life.AMEN.
131131
Not many people know anything about arranged marriages anymore, since they are rare in the western world.  But the first part of "Fiddler on the Roof" raised the question, and since then, I have always wondered if we wouldn't be better off trusting the judgment of our parents, and professional matchmakers if they use them, rather than our own erratic choices.  I've been married and divorced 4 times, so maybe I'm not exactly objective about this . . .
843333
In English ways or how it was when i first got married, was the father of the bride paid for the wedding. The father of the bride paid for nothing other what he wanted for his own family, i understand these days it is done differently as most Bride and grooms earn more money then there fathers do.In india it is different, i believe the bride's family pays for not only the wedding it's self but also all the gold that is wore on the day, you can now see why it once bad luck to have a girl in the family, image the large familys they have.
1015413
I am a white, Canadian woman, 48 years old...I think arranged marriages are archaic and a form of abuse.  I have met four women of Indian decent who were forced into arranged marriages and every single husband was abusive in his own way.  Three of them only wanted to come to Canada and bring their families and the fourth was a doctor who refused to speak with his wife after a long day at work, while his wife wasn't allowed to work - they had no children and she was alone in a strange city.\n\nWhen you buy a product, you hope it will work or do the job for you but there's always a product that doesn't live up to expectations.  I do not think it's much different when you select a spouse out of the air either.  Unfortunately, the woman is always the one who suffers - in my experience.
693731
It could go either way, just realise that marriage is a serious thing and requires tons of hard work to make it succeed.
957768
A few years ago I would have said love...Americans have preconceived notions of what arranged marriages constitute. I read about them and after I did, I wanted to have one and wished it was a common practice here! The families of young women carefully screen men in all areas (family, financial, compatibility) and present the couple to each other. Women aren't "forced" to marry the men in the majority of cases. Their families love them just like families here love their daughters and want them to be happy. So I think arranged marriages are better.
920862
i think it is  a great idea.\ni will cooperate anybody to do the same in India.
932521
i think it puts the responsibility of the marriage on the parents, for they (and the matchmaker) are making the decision.  it is probably one of the parents that has more of a say in the decision than the other.  also the "other" parents or the matchmaker influence the decision heavily.  \n \nthe marriage in these cases is also going to based on financial and social considerations as opposed to "love", with the assumption that "love" and / or (at least) "attachment" will follow with time.    \n\nas far as i am concerned, i think that parents or older people may have better insight into what a young person needs, sometimes more than the young persons know.  the chance of happiness and a good life may be good.  \n\nbut the final decision of marrying is based on the young person with minimal contact.  \n\nconsidering that marriage is fairly weak in the west and divorce is rampant.  i dont think that people can judge an arranged marriage as worse.  \n\nmy friend left asia and went to the west because she was afraid of an arranged marriage.  her father was very old fashioned and stubborn, and she was afraid of his decision making because her religious views were different than her father. \nshe felt that she needed a say in the decision. \n\nbest of luck to you!
459306
Love just happens, but you have to remember that people can grow to love each other.  I know of countries that still have arranged marriages.  I think that in these instances the two involved are less fortunate than Americans who get the opportunity to find love on their own.  But, this has been going on for many many years.  I don't believe that Americans should set up two people with the intent for them to be happy.  As an American we know that happiness comes from the heart and has to be aceived on our own.
125148
for me we date and see how we like the person.  We try to see if the love is there and if you can make it work.  Some people move in together and see if they would be able to live together then they get married.\nI was in India this summer and they still arrange many marriages.  Parents pick and they look at horascopes to see if they are compatible.  I believe the child still has the ultimate choice but most don't want to go agaisnt their parents.   Many Indian my age 25 were surprised i was married and still in college.  I was not ready for a wife because  i could not support her.  I tried to explain we both work and take care of each other.  Also when they asked how my parents felt i  told them that we did not ask for permission to get married we just told them that we were doing it they found that very disrespectful.  But in my culture it is not.  Your parents may give their oppions but they have no say in who you date or marry