how to rekindle an old flame/ find a lost spark?
81069
Remember what it was like in the begining and don't try to do the same things over again change it up a little. Don't be afraid to try something new, but with your girls consent. Be willing to listen when she wants to talk, or sit her down and ask her why she acts the way she does when other people are around. Tell her you are willing to try new things to rekindle that old flame and if she's not down than it's time to move on, just don't lose touch with your children there whats most important.  Good-Luck.
1174260
if the relationship has lost the intimacy
383207
Tell him that you're interested in going out for a drink and getting to know him on a more personal level. See how he reacts. Talk about your old relationships and see how he reacts to that as well. You should be able to tell if he's feeling you. If it seems like he's shying away from the topic, it's best just to come out and tell him you have feelings for him. A lot of beating around the bush just leads to confusion. If you're straightforward with him you'll get an honest reaction. \nIt's hard to talk about these things with people we've befriended first. There is always a chance that unearthing your feelings might drive him away.. but it's much better to take the chance and get it out in the open. Make sure you think it through first. If this is the sort of fellow you can see yourself with in a forever sort of way.. and not just a skin-deep level.. then you know what you have to do. I know it sounds cliche'.. but follow your heart. You'll know what's best for you.
199026
you sound like you really want to renew this friendship, if so then you need to bite the bullet and take the first step. its not easy but life is too short and she probably feels the same way as you do and missed your friendship. dont wait give her  a ring and let bygones be bygones. good luck.
1098815
Fading is a sad thing to me. It would kill me to lose the my spark. Some like the thought of getting old, but I say go out with a bang. Die young.
876514
It is three years later, and you are both three years older and more mature.  Now is definitely time to find that chemistry again. If you still care about this guy, go and re-introduce yourself to him.  He may not be available right now, but it doesn't hurt to find out. :-)\n\nGood luck!!
872898
Instead of telling him you miss him try meet him and make it look like an accident so that you can have a chance to know him more. And when you do meet him, talk with him so next time he won't be so much a stranger! It's not easy to begin with, but will be easier and such things need some time to find their way
1023159
first ask yourself whether u really want him back or is it again "just attraction".think over watever happened whether it is bound to happen again to bring back the same situation.....find out whether he's also feeling the same burn as u r or did he royally ditch you for no reason?...dont get baffled  up by such situations..keep your cool.....u never know..might be.. he is really in need of you.
745438
Its tempting to go back to your ex for consolation.  Especially since he's known you so well.  But its not worth the hassles.  When i have such an urge, i like to sit back in my room and distinctly plan on how to solve my problem - in a constructive and POSITIVE manner.  Chart out practial steps to solve your problem and follow it step by step.  It is quite empowering.  Dont get frustrated between steps.  everything is a process.  If you do need someone to talk to, slowly take someone into confidence.  its hard to find one person that you like to tell everything to.  you could share some things iwth a friend and some things with another friend - whoever you think will understand.  But its important not to dwell in your problems cos it will just make it seem worse than it really is.  Remember that nothing is really as bad as it seems.  its really that simple.  understand that first.
233898
Hey I don't really have advice for you as you know from answering my question I have marital problems. BUT.... We did get this book called Rekindling the Romance by a husband and wife team Dennis and Barbara Rainy. It's a real eye opener it is Christian based and I 100% am a believer that the only way to be truly happy in all areas of your lfe is to live by the Bible. Do what it says. Go to church live your life for God. The problem my hubby and I had with this book is how to rekindle something that was never there? I was or I think in love with him at one time but he was always an a** and finally I just decided to deal with now he's different and he regrets everything he has done. Maybe you can help with this one. How do I get over the past? I know I need to get my life right with God that would help 100%. But anyways I am rambling Hope this helps. The link I am gonna leave is the website where you can get this book Click on online store and do a search for the title. I also encourage you check out the info they have I don't know where you live but you should see if they have their radio station near you it really helps me!
193021
Sounds like you are both in a better place to have an adult relationship now. When people ask about getting back together with an old flame I always ask them to try and think about what is going to be differant this time so you don't end up breaking things off again.\n\nYou are your ex need to have a serious discussion about what went wrong last time and how you can BOTH make sure that those types of things don't happen again.\n\nBest of luck
725860
Either call him directly or snailmail him a letter of detail expressing your concern for the direction your relationship seemed to be taking.\n\nHe may have had other issues to deal with and could not open up about them at that time - therefore presenting distance that you may have misinterpeted towards you.....\ndo not push, if he can share his feelings he will.\n\nExpress to him how much you have missed him and that you are sorry for hurting him also.\n\nIf he does not wish to continue dating at least try and establish some form of friendship - mutually.\n\nBest wishes!
888016
Yes, my wife and I have experienced the same thing. Before the kids everything was great and after she lost all interest. 6 years later we are still not 100% back on track but things are better. Here are a few ideas that may help you:\n\n1. accept with busier lives that you won't be back to 100%. With kids and their needs your opportunities for intimacy and times of the day to engage are diminished greatly. Accepting is the first part.\n\n2. you have to communicate your needs to each other. If you feel overwhelmed and distracted at home then he needs to help out more and not just on the days/nights he "wants some" or you will just feel used and unappreciated. Together you will have to work out a new, mutually agreeable routine. \n\n3. communicate what really excites you both. Find out about each others fetishes, real turn ons and fantasies if you haven't done so already. Be open to new ideas that might intrigue you and spark some interest again - be willing to slowly step out of your comfort zone and try new things. Make it fun with no expectations attached. Experimentation is often very pleasureable but not always!\n\n4. Devote some time where regardless of what is going on you have time for just the two of you. Maybe it's every Wednesday night after the kids go to bed. You leave the dishes and just do nothing but spend time together - reconnect so to speak. Too often after the kids come along the couple becomes "good friends" and lose that closeness / intimacy they felt when no one else was around. \n\n5. Don't feel guilty if you have lots around the house/work to do and you feel in the mood. Go after it, seize the moment and enjoy yourselves. You can always catch up on the other stuff but it is harder to mend a broken/struggling relationship.\n\nIf you really want it (pardon the pun) you have to communicate, be understanding of how you both feel and truly work hard to come to a solution. Your libido level and his will not change so you have to figure out a plan that will work for you.\n\nGood luck!
1016219
go with what you feel is best. take a break and try the fling. the fling may end up just being a good time and may make you feel good all over again.
692936
This is a seemingly growing problem. Years ago people were together more. Now it seems we barely get time to say hi and bye. Life has changed the dynamics of relationships these days. However, it doesn't mean it's impossible to reconnect on an intimate level with your hubby.\n    You asked can you fall out of love with your hubby after 5 years? And the answer is a simple, Yes. Can you also reconnect and fall back in love? Again a simple YES! \n  The first step was the realization that there is a problem. The next step and maybe the hardest step is to change the way things are. In order to make changes, (and I know I have said this before, but I think it's worth saying again) You have to do the exact opposite of what you are doing now. Which means stop doing what you are currently doing, it's not working! You mentioned you had no "us" time, and that is what I would start with first. MAKE COUPLE TIME! Put your child to bed and sit down and watch a movie together. Try to go to bed together and if nothing else, just cuddle. Talk about your day, and how you can make tomorrow better. You each need to talk about your dreams, goals, and what you want for the future. You each will have separate goals, but you will also need goals as a couple. \nI would also recommend counseling. You can use your pastor, (if you have one) A close family friend with whom you trust and can be neutral, or a professional counselor.\nOther things that you might want to try is a "date" night for you and hubby. Get a babysitter (one you trust) and go away for the weekend once every 3-6 months. Spend quality time together as a couple. it doesn't have to cost a fortune. All you need is a desire to want things to change and a creative mind. I wish you all of the best!
245627
It's possible. I'm doing it right now. The trick is to put asside the hurt and the lost dreams and hopes. They're in the past. And to bring them up carries with them the bitterness, the resentment and the pain of loss and that just spins you up again. If you can get past all the old feelings and start working towards how you can be just helpful, supportive friends, then you're half way there. Good luck. It IS possible as long as both of you work on it.
180587
you could try going through friends re-united...it may be worth a try