How do i get over this divorece pain?
97796
Divorce is hard. I wish I knew the answer to that one. I am facing a divorce...K
117213
Nuthin's wrong. You've just not got over your divorce, that's all. Just open yourself up (not literally :-) ) a bit and start interacting with everyone freely. You'll soon not only get over your divorce but also have a chance to find a lady good enough for you. BTW, you should also think of what you might have done wrong leading to your divorce so that you don't repeat the mistake once you find the right one.
1086304
Best way to get over it...stay away!\nIt sounds like she is dangerous for you.\nNothing you do is going to fix this relationship\nYou need to stay away and you know that.\nGo out and find someone else to get that sick feeling out of your stomach.
337141
I say quit feeling sorry for your self,get off your butt and get a job.There are no guarantees in this life except Death and Taxes. Most men aren't better off financially after a divorce especially if they have to find,rent,buy a new place to live. they also have all the other expenses to pay for; gas,electric,garbage,phone,car payment now add on 25% of his pay to pay for his children from the same pay check as before. You just want to take advantage of the system and your ex-husband. Start a Day Care Center your self. If you work out of your home the state will have to check it out. To get State funds you have to provide a monthly menu and only have the amount of children allowed  based on square feet of your home you have.
876970
Put as much distance between the two of you as possible and try to move on.  I know it's probably the hardest thing you could possibly do right now, but the longer you let it drag on, the harder it will be.  In the end, a clean break is the best and easiest way.  Eventually you'll get over it.\n\nGood luck.
980715
It's the most unsatifying answer but the only answer that works. Time. It's the only healer for your wound. Of course there are many things you could do to help the time go by fast but unfortunatly it will take some time for you to get past the pain. You have to put into prospect 8 years is a long long time and to end it completly you should be devastated. If you would like more help you can email me at mkaltenthaler@yahoo.com. I just ended a 4 year relationship a couple of months ago. I was in your possition for a month\nGo out with friends, take on hobbies, do the things you've always wanted to do but haven't yet. \nKeep away from: anything that reminds you of him, depressing foods, sad movies/songs, don't be alone for the first month. \nYou will get past this and eventually start over and have a completly new life. It sounds impossible but I swear it will happen. Best of luck to you and hope all goes well with you.
895616
been down this kind of road your walking on now, the pain will never be gone completely, as time goes on the pain will ease up and you will regain your self back. learn from this with the understanding that not all women do this to their husbands. and people do make mistakes with some being devastating to the ones left holding their harts after it being ripped from their chest. \n\ngetting her back is what you want for you want your life to return to the way it was prior to any cheating, getting her back isn't what you need right now, you'll have trust issues with her that will drive you both apart and working out problems in a relationship will take two people that want it to work, truly want it to work. at this time i don't see this being on her list of things to do.\n\nit's all about you and your kids right now, try as hard as you can not to think that your going to get her back in time. if and when this ever does come around and the opportunity presents it's self to you then and only then should you leap to the chance. it's going to be a upward walk everyday for some time now, and you must keep you mind on what will be the best for you and your kids, her watching this will in time show that you are the stronger parent and she might have made the most devastating mistake of her life.\n\nif and when she does want to return to being a family again you need to now that it will never be as it was, no amount of work can change your memory and that memory will have issures with her and the choises she made. untill you have walked this road and feel the pain it has to offer you, people have their own words to offer you and I too had told many people that i would do this and that, and the day my ears heard the word from the love of my life, i pray others will never have the pleasure of hearing them in their life. \n\ni would tell every one dealing with this pain not try reconnecting with their partner till the pain has passed and your ready to try woking on the real problems in hand, most people never wake up one morning and head out the door to cheat on their partner, most is the aftermath of a problem at home or with their partner, finding out what the real problem is and how to overcome it is where you need to start working up to the cheating, and working it in this order will let you know why she felt the way she did.\n\ntime will heal the pain and learning from the past is the only way we can improve our furture, take your time and good luck with the path your walking down, remembering that your not walking it alone for thats why it's a path, many have walked it and many more will.
450555
you will get over it trust me!!! Give it time! Keep busy
84757
Sounds like this hit you hard. Sounds like you didnt know it was coming. They have support groups for divorce people. Try going out and doing something for yourself thats make you feel good, and dont blame yourself.
646727
You can't avoid the pain and awkwardness.  Just be decent, try not to be angry at the time, and just "man up" and get it done.  It will hurt you both, but you'll get over it.
711693
That is easy, because you are not ready!! You have been through a lot with the divorce, even though it is not final. You need to focus on yourself for a while and don't make it harder by adding another person to think about right now. Do things that you like and can do alone, go out with the guys, play cards, things with the kids. When the divorce is final and you have found out who you really are again, then you will feel more comfortable dating. You may also subconsciously think that it is not a good thing for the kids to see right now either, at least something to think about. Best of luck to you and time and prayer heal all things.
260006
I understand your loneliness completely, and it is a very difficult emotion to deal with, maybe you may feel better if I were to share with you the fact that I was once married, I loved pure and true, and was abused and hurt.\n\nI then remarried 3 years later, and although cautious at first, I learned to give again whole heartily and loved again pure and true, and was abused and hurt again.\n\nI now have been single for 10 years, and I despise loneliness, although I am very happy with myself, and love myself.\n\nAnd although I have only been allowed the opportunity to be a part time father, I feel a great and powerful sense of loss, as I have never believed in Divorce, however this is the reality with in our society today, that it takes two to Merrie, and only one to divorce with no reason stated or given, they call it no fault.\n\nI must say that had I ever known my marriages would have ended up in Divorce, I would have rather been lonely, and just happy being me.  Although I have no regrets, and love my children dearly.\n\nMaybe possibly if you were to think of all the things of which you would have to sacrifice with in the confines of a relationship, especially it your partner were to abuse or hurt you, then you could take more satisfaction in your single status, and appreciate it.
1021277
Don't have the relationship UNTIL everything has gone thru the court systems. That way HUBBY/EX-to-be can't use anything against you. \n\nTHEN go slowly starting a NEW relationship. Take it slow and easy.
1060629
I'm going through the same thing. Just think about how much happier they will be when they finally get a divorce. Nothing is your fault, and there isn't much you can do to help. I'm so sorry. It can be really hard to go through this. Find a friend that you can talk to. That helps the most out of everything.
679050
So sorry that you are going through this. I can relate 100%.\nThe pain and depression from a break up can take over your life if you let it.. It did me for a while and I still have my moments. (I was w/ my now ex for 19 yrs.)It has been 9 months since my break up...\n(he also walked out on his 2 daughters)..\nDrugs and alcohol can consume a persons morals and soul...\n\nHere are some things that helped me and some I still continue to do:\n\nWrite a letter to her, but don't mail it, this is for you to express your feelings...burn it after reading this letter.. write and burn as often as you wish.. it does help.. this helps me to let go..\n\nKeep a daily journal of how you feel each day. \nJot down a POSITIVE word to describe yourself (loving, caring, compassionate, outgoing, and so on.).\n\nTake a long brisk walk, go for a swim, go to the gym... do something just for your self, something that you like and brings a smile...\n\nMake a  pro/con list of the relationship you had with her.\ndon't nit pick or sugar coat this list...be HONEST....\nThen make a list of the things you want to find in a woman(NOT HER)..don't over load this list, no one it perfect..\nI had to redo my list a few times....\n\nGo out with your freinds or family, DO NOT ISOLATE YOURSELF from others or life.... it only makes life harder for you!!!\n\nRemember and remind yourself that she chose her life and you can not change her.(I tried to change my ex and waited for him to grow up and change his life for 19 yrs., I lost out on a lot more then just losing him)...\n\nRemind your self that YOU are a GOOD person and you have control of your life, you can't change the past BUT you can change your future and make it happy if you choose.\nYou have control of you!!!\n\nAgain I'm sorry you are hurting so deeply. \nIn time you will feel better and begin to start your life over.. look to make friends with other women first..\nDo NOT rush into a new relationship just to be with some one and not be alone... THIS WILL NOT HELP YOU...\n\nIf you want to chat, email me, I'll be your chat pal.\n\nI hope this helps..
1155505
Part of the therapy for getting over a divorce is to re-join the "human race".  With a divorce, we go through "separation anxiety" ... and that is a very miserable condition.\n\nDon't feel that you have to leap at the first opportunity to date ... but don't shy away from one that interests you.  Ease back into it, maybe by starting out going out with a group of friends, then a couple friends, then venturing out on your own.\n\nThere is no generally-accepted timeframe for waiting.  Let your own heart and needs determine that.  Just be cautious about "rebounding" and jumping into a worse relationship than the one you just left ... just because "it's there" and you're hurting.
2969
Try and it get over. You are the only one that can make yourself happy. Dont dwell on breakups or hurting other people's feelings. ITs all point of life. Move on. Everything gets better in the end. Lifes short so think carefully :) The best of luck 2 you!