Do "mutual breakups" ever work out? Are you still friends? What's the best way to deal?
86316
Yes, they're totally possible. No breakup is ever easy but a mutual breakup is less painful and usually ends with fewer or no hard feelings. And yes, sometimes you can still be friends, or at least not hate each other.
69872
I've had this situation 4 months ago. We've just talked about it.. I frankly said, that i don't love him. He offered me to be friends. So we are very good friends right now. But I feel that i'm more than just a freind for him...Sometimes i think that it would be nice if we were together but can't do it right now, 'cause i broke up with my ex-bf yesterday. And i don't want to lose my friend.. It's up to a person :)
75374
That happened to me and it was the end of the relationship.  We met in college, had a long-distance relationship, then together for several months, then she moved 4-5 hours away after getting fired and getting a better job.  She wanted to marry, or at least live together openly, while I knew I couldn't marry her (too neurotic, too much fighting) and tried to hold on to the passionate girlfriend/boyfriend relationship indefinitely.  So it had been a holding pattern for several months, and her moving didn't really change it.  Soon she told me of reciprocal interest with a co-worker, which in retrospect I think was trying to drive me off, but I didn't bite and was actually friendly with the jerk.  Finally she said, "I think we ought to cool it and date other people".  I was in shock, but I remember what came out was, "You mean you want to break up?"  I don't remember what she said but the upshot was I wasn't going to share and she didn't try to work out a sharing arrangement.  Eventually she married the jerk.  I got an invitation to the wedding but I never answered and broke off contact.\n\nSo through the lens of my life experience, the relationship is on its last legs and you're looking for the kill.  I think the more honest and humane approach would be to present an ultimatum to get off of hold or break up, or just leave if you're not committed enough to force that issue.  It may seem cold, but it's better than getting into the jealousy thing with other guys.  I know being left for another man was much harder on me than being left out of general dissatisfaction, and it killed my interest in follow-up friendship (that part might be a blessing).  Someone else's story might have a different moral.\n\nGood luck,\nhouyhnhnm
705061
You're not alone !!!! Going thru the very same thing right now ! SHE is the one that ultimately decided that things were going to end......and yet, she wants to be "friends". I say FU(K THAT!!!! Don't let me trust you, love you, believe in you (and 'us') give me hopes of a future...and then take it away and expect me to still WANT to be 'friends'....knowing that someone else is having what was supposed to be mine/ours.....!!!!!!
609074
I understand that you’ve broken up with him, though I guess you can still be a friend...as in friend....especially when he needs help.\n\nPlace yourself in his shoes. He's just another person with emotions and currently is looking for your support and help. Do help him though clearly underline that your support will not go beyond what’s called for in a friendship.\n\nYou can also tell you current BF of your intentions just so that he doesn’t build any wrong notions in his mind about your relationship with your EX.\n\nTake care.
752391
GOD! I've been dealing with that for 10 months now. And I run into them at the dojo ALL THE TIME. It's been excruciating.\n\nYes, I do have lingering thoughts of reconciliation. I am still very much in love. And yes, I know the reasons I left are still as strong as when I left them. \n\nI do hope to be friends with them, though. They were both very good friends before we became lovers. One is very gregarious. She's been able to bridge a form of mild platonic relationship that has seemed to work. Still, it's difficult with someone you love.
412497
i tried staying friends with my ex. Seems whenever he was alone then I was OK but whenever he met someone then I was not. If you still love her then I would suggest not staying friends it is heartbreaking every time they find someone new. Then one day they will decide to marry and they will not want to stay friends.  Better to let go now rather than having heart broke time and time again.
878068
How to Get Over a Break Up\n\nWant to know how to get over a break up? Here are six secrets to help you get your life together and move on!\nDifficulty: Hard\nTime Required: Two Weeks to Three Months\n\nHere's How:\n\n1. Bond with other Singles.\n      At any given time, you probably have a mix of friends in loving relationships as well as those searching for love. Don't be afraid to look-up single friends you haven't seen or spoken to in awhile and make plans for Friday and Saturday night. You'll stay busy on the weekend and maybe even rekindle an old friendship.\n\n2. Start a Social Hobby.\n      If there is a hobby or activity you have been meaning to try for the first time, or take-up again, this is your chance. Focus on activities that allow you to meet new and interesting people. Examples might include a cooking class, sports league, or bridge club.\n\n3. Go Easy on the Next Person you Meet.\n      Beware of continuing unfinished business with the next person you meet. If you didn't have a chance to truly close the door on your last relationship, don't project your open issues on the next unsuspecting soul. See the new person as a clean slate and allow the relationship to unfold with no connections to your past.\n\n4. Don't Sling Shot your Ex.\n      It can be very tempting, particularly on lonely nights, to look up your ex or accept an invitation from your ex for a rekindle. The more you fall back on your old ways, the harder it will be to truly move on. Don't fall for the short term satisfaction of a night out or easy hook-up at the expense of stirring up all the hurt from the breakup.\n\n5. Apply What You've Learned.\n      Take out a journal and write down everything that went well versus what could have been better in your relationship. Be honest since you're the only one looking at the entry. What could you do better next time? What positive traits did your ex possess that you should look for in the next relationship, or maybe even incorporate into your own style?\n\n6. Talk About Something Else.\n      Everyone goes through a period of venting to their friends and family about what went wrong and how your ex deserves to go straight to prison. It's okay to do a little venting, but spare your inner circle from an endless tirade for months at a time. Commit to yourself that the next time you call a close friend, you'll focus exclusively on them. This will help you get out of your head
116892
Yeah it can. I broke up with my ex a couple of years ago - it was a mutual break-up but we remained as best friends. Sometimes when I hang out with her, I feel that same old feeling again - like a spark in my life that I felt when I first dated her... but I'm not taking that step though.\n\nYou can regain that feeling, but to get back together - that's another question...
865546
yeah my guy and i just had a fight..and I am so devasted..I love him soo much..but then again he is an as*hole...if you feel like you need time..then take time..but if you feel like you can move on with someone else then go out with friends and make new friends..usually after a break up..I like to take time for myself and get back to me...good luck\nps..if you still love him then call him and try to work things out
384990
I had that experience before - but I broke up with that bf for a very weighty reason, so, even if he continued his pursuit supposedly "in the name of friendship," I didn't give in.  It took out the complications.  Don't sweat it.  :)
22730
Your used to someone, used to having fun with them, used to loving them and used to just generally having them around.  When you get your heart broken, its unlikely you can remain friends with someone you've had such a deep understand with and thus its more then like that you've got to start from scratch.  Mainly, its the fear that you'll never have that again and never be happy again.  The best way to get over a break-up is to tell yourself that "she/he wasn't worth my time and that some other lucky person will be worth it in the future".
215719
It is not easy to leave someone you have been with a while.  When you are close, and you aren't meant for each other it is even worse.  Maybe you guys could become friends again after all the hurt is over with.
562586
Alls I can say is....rebound relationships. You both just got out of long term relationships, which probably means you both got your hearts broken. Now you are leaning on eachother for support and that's fine, but you are confusing support and friendship with love. It's nothing new and that's why so many people that have been divorced once, get divorced twice. I suggest you don't move and just keep a friendship up...it's only been 2 months...that's not long enough to make a life changing decision. Good luck in whatever you decide.
246779
as you said this fight was stupid so yes definetly be friends again, you known him since first grade dont loose a relationship over that, youve been friends for way to long its time to move on and start having fun with him. besides what if something happened you wouldnt want to miss out on the oppurtunity to be friends....
341317
AS in you broke up and are getting back together? \n\nAbsolutley NOT. Things have changed and you have to accept it....you relationship will NOT be the same.
477236
everything is possible..but this kind of situation depends if both of you are really meant to be..if you, then you will always find the way to each other's heart..me and ex broke up, right now we are friends but i don't know yet if we'll be together in the future..time will only tell..