I don't know how to handle my ex (and baby's father)?!?!?!?
79974
I feel like a pro on this type of situation. I'ts been a while for me. My daughter is 16 and I've been with my husband since she was 2yrs old. Keep your x in his place and your current in the right place. As long as you know who your with and who is the most important one to your future toether as a family. You will make the right choice. Uless your not sure who is in the right place in your life. Don't rush in to fast think, hearts are involved.
389434
He has a baby by another before he met you. Her and the baby move away. Now she back in your boyfriends life in a big way. I see how he is close to his child more fathers should be that way. Nothing is wrong with him spending time with his baby. On the another hand the babys mother should not use the child to take your man away from you right now. She is wrong for and her payback will come soon trust me on that. You cant use a child to keep a man from moving on with a new woman. She is the stuid one for that. All out the she just up and wants him back no damn reason. Has she come at you with something. Ask me he really needs to choose not between you and his child but you and his baby's mom. Baby mom is acting like a real bitch. If he really cares about you then he can be with you and his baby without his baby's mom popping up with all her got damn fucking drama. I got a point to what I saying and I know you can find it too. Now more that I can do for you now. From here on out step up and say what you feel to the both of them. Never give up without a fight. It will not be simple but you will make a way to go. Its a rock and a hard place for not only him but now for you as well.
550220
No it wasn't your fault. I didn't see how you could think that! It was his fault that he didn't act like he cared about you! You did the right thing! \nGood Luck with your baby and your new relationship!
305245
he still loves you but the baby is over whellming the both of you for first time parents. i would suggest you to just take a night of leave him with his grandparents and have a night to yourselfs to just relax and chit- chat.
904438
Talk to a lawyer, If he has to pay child support.  As far as your son is concerned, Your ex obviously doesn't care.  If he was a good man and father he would make an effort.  I hope your new husband is a good man and is trying to make an effort.  Any man that doesn't care about his children or his wife's children is not a man.  \nBe there for your boy he needs support and a father figure, whether it's your father or husband he needs a father figure.  Not a replacement, he already has a dad, even if he is a dead beat.
1039072
My ex pulled stuff too. Your ex will probably get away with it. Just concentrate on the custody. People like your ex will find a way of getting out of paying and you don't want someone like him raising your child.
759077
You and the ex need to set your issues aside and discuss how you are going to raise the son, putting his best interests first. He is playing you both, that's what kids do, even in homes with both parents. You have to decide on a course of action and stick with it, consistency is one of the most difficult things but shows the child you both mean business. Let your ex know that you're interested in his help, but he needs to stick to the plan. You need to support one another in this. I hope you are able to do this, or the son will continue to go back and forth until he's on his own. It won't create a stability within him - be responsible, not emotional and talk w/the ex. Hope it works out. You can do it!
289533
HAVE YOU TRIED TELLING HIM HOW YOU FEEL!? LETTING GO IS NEVER EASY ESPECIALLY WHEN YOUR AROUND ONE ANOTHER ALL THE TIME!! BUT, AS A WISE PERSON ONCE SAID, "WHAT DOESN'T KILL US WILL MAKE US STRONGER" AN I BELIEVE THIS TO BE TRUE! I THINK YOU OUGHT TO STOP SEEING EACH OTHER ALL TOGETHER UNTIL THE BABY IS BORN(SURE LET HIM COME TO DR. APPT. AN STUFF) BUT AS FAR AS SEEING ONE ANOTHER DON'T DO IT! THIS WAY IT WILL GIVE YOU THE TIME YOU NEED TO GET OVER HIM AN HE CAN STILL BE INVOLVED IN THE BABIES LIFE!!! AN THEN AFTER THE BABY IS BORN AN IF YOU STILL FEEL THE NEED TO BE AWAY FROM HIM THEN TELL HIM! THERE ARE MANY WAYS OF PARENTS RAISING THEIR CHILDREN WITHOUT HAVING TO BE AROUND ONE ANOTHER! I KNOW THIS CAN'T BE EASY FOR YOU(BEING PREGNANT) AN ALL!! BUT, I WISH YA THE BEST AN HOPE THAT MY ADVICE CAN BE SOME HELP TO YOU! IF YA WANT YOU CAN EMAIL ME AN I'LL TRY TO HELP ANYWAY I CAN!!!\n\n\nBEST OF LUCK!!!
987389
I have 3 kids by my ex and he went off to Australia with his new wife. He stopped paying and I am fighting him in court (at great cost to myself) but now he wants to see his kids for 4 weeks this Christmas. I KNOW your feelings totally. But you have to carry the burden because children are better off if they have a relationship with their dads. Just dont compete. When they get older they will realise what went on. But equally dont put up with their lippyness. Dont let it go on. Make your ex look after them sometimes so you have some time to yourself. And get on with your own life. Your boys need a possitive male rolemodel in their life (your dad, or a brother or a new husband) Get on, get your life back into shape and make some time for yourself. You need it and so do your boys.
339719
just know if you two are having problems a baby will NOT keep him with you. please make sure you're ready for a child with or without him. in my case we agreed to have a child together then 3 months into the pregnancy his ex is back into his life. I gave birth to  beautiful baby boy 2 months ago and his father is living with his ex now. if you cannot handle a child without him do NOT trick him into getting pregnant!
263386
I'm sorry your going through this... I've been in your situation before... Well it all depends on hope much pain you want to go through. He loves you yeah but he loves someone else. give me a break. there is a reason why they call our ex's, ex's. If he's not man enough to handle his business and know that yeah he has a baby with another women he should provide for that child but now he's going to have a baby with you. It was hard but I left the man I was with I started over scared but I couldnt take not knowing where was all the time or him telling me he still has feelings for his ex... If he can't decide you have to look out for you and your child... Get out girl....
1021277
Don't have the relationship UNTIL everything has gone thru the court systems. That way HUBBY/EX-to-be can't use anything against you. \n\nTHEN go slowly starting a NEW relationship. Take it slow and easy.
883001
The first and only thing you need to worry about is getting your life back on track...lose the friend that you think is two faced...and call and write to your daughter as often as possible...My ex husband has my son so I know where you are coming from.  I don't know what your ex. is getting at by saying you would have a "ruined" daughter on your hands but sounds to me like HE is the ruined one and he has failed to provide her with the love and attention that she needs to grow and feel emotionally confident.  Get your self financially stable in your own home and all that jazz...then after a couple of years of calling and writing and visiting as often as you can maybe you and your daughter will begin to rebuild your relationship and find the love that has been forgotten through the divorce...In other words your child needs to know that she is loved!  So you need to SHOW that you love her!
1011939
Your story brings tear to my eyes. Maybe all you can do is emotionally fall apart. You need to grieve, and better now than having collapses when your baby is a toddler and getting on your nerves. It is going to be a whole new life for you, and you have to be prepared for some real suprises from him.  Get you court case ready - be prepared for even worse things - you don't know who your husband really is until you divorce him. Many men fight for custody when it comes time to think about child support - so be "prepared."  HE ALREADY HAS A NICE LITTLE STEP MOTHER THERE AND READY - SO STAY AHEAD OF HIM. Yes life is very cruel that when you are at your most traumatised you have to think about such horrid and practical things - but that is the way of divorce. It is the worst hell you will ever experience. I feel so sick that this is happening to you while you are pregnant and so terribly in need of protection and love. You have to starting thinking about the man you love as an 'opponent' now. It is easy to say but I know that it is a very difficult thing to do. Feelings are what thay are. What you need is to find people out there who will listen to you and let you cry on their shoulder. People are VERY IMPATIENT and they will expect you to get over things very quickly, so have more than one friend to lean on. You have a precious baby on the way and taking care of that baby (alone) will be fill up many spaces because of the overwhelming responsibily. You really have to find compassionate non-condemning, humble friends who can be there for you. You will be poorer - for sure so find some single mothers with babies - because they will be your greatest support system. Your social status has just changed dramatically - and that is one of the most difficult parts of single parentig.  So be "ready." I am sorry that I have very little that is positive to say. Just know that my heart breaks for you.
825474
Tell you ex's GF to take it on a hike.  She has no business wanting to know your child.  And for that matter, neither does your ex.  Be strong, and best wishes to you.
542970
Get a better lawyer.  I was in the samew spot and I ended up with 50/50 physical and legal custody.  My ex hates it because she can't control anything between my son and me.  Be patient and take the time and energy to get a good lawyer who understands father's rights.  It will pay for itself in the long run with your relationship to your child.
254168
Assess your emotions first, who do you love more? Who treats you better? Do you really think your ex still loves you or does he just want someone to help him with his baby? \n\nAnd before you do anything with your ex, talk with your current boyfriend.\n\nDon't just follow your heart, use your head as well.