I'ma 31 year old man whos been around the block a few times,now that im married I cant get it up,whats up?
91005
See your doctor. There are many men with the same problem and many drugs that will help you. DO NOT BUY ON LINE. See you doctor. He will help you . This is very common.
103133
Well Mr. "I can't get it up, and its all my wife's fault",  just imagine how disappointed she is in you!!! \n\nSeems to me, you have real sexual and marrital problems. \n\nI've heard of cases like yours in which the man has extreme difficulty performing with a real woman because he has spent so much time being aroused and ejeculating to pornography.  \n\nIn his mind now, women, who are nothing more than sex objects, have to have perfect bodies, like in the pictures to be sexually arousing.   \n\nPlus because he's had so much fake easy pornography sex, he's DISCONNECTED from bonding emotionally with a real woman-- sexually or otherwise.  \n\nThis creates all sorts of sexual problems in his relationships, that manifest themselves in different ways, like blaming lack of erection on the physical appearance of his wife's boobs.  \n\nWith the ease of access and increased use of pornography many psychiatrists, pastors/rabbis, and marriage counselors are reporting a huge spite in patients with your very problem. (check it out)\n\nYou have a couple of choices now.  \n\n1) You could go ahead and change your wife.  Have her get her boobs fixed so that it is pleasing to you, Have her wear sexy lingerie, and promise not to walk around naked in front of you.  \n\nBut what happens if her body changes again?  When she gets pregnant? older? gains weight? loses weight?  \n\nDo you just plan to stop loving her again?  \n\nSex in marriage is most fulfilling because it is an expression of love, dependence, and trust, as well as getting your physical needs met.  Qualities that are not based on physical appearance.  \n\nI'm not minimizing the importance of looking and smelling good for your mate, On the contrary, I believe it is important, I just think in your case its more serious than that.  \n\nSo since I doubt this is the heart of your real problem, getting your wife "fixed" is not going to keep it "up" for you.  \n\nEven with her body perfect, eventually you'll have another erection problem, begin fantasizing about other people and then justify having affairs.  \n\n2) Your second option and the recommended one, is that you  seek counseling to determine the real root of this problem and to resolve it within yourself.  \n\nThis will help save your marriage, and check to see if you are healthy enough to be fulfilling and fulfilled in an intimate relationship.  \n\nRight now you are feeling like you made a mistake getting married or got deceived somehow.  Not only is this most likely faulty thinking, these feelings you have will be detrimental to your marriage.\n\nGo talk to a specialist and get it checked out before you invest a few grand on a boob job.\n\nAlso, make sure you talk to your wife about this.  But a word of caution.  Be very careful about how you approach her with this. \n\nSticks and stones can break your bones, but your words can destroy.
463927
The same thing happened to my second wife.  We did it like rabbits when we were dating but once married, the activity dropped off quite a bit.  I am sure the rigors of married life has something to do with it and the comfort in being in a long term relationship.  I am sure it doesn't happen to all women nor men for that matter.  Could be that you just need to try something different every now and then.  Location, clothing, time of day, etc.  Variety is the spice of life.
319551
My suggestion would be to start all over, let me explain.  When you were dating, before kids, before the wedding, what did you do?  Did you enjoy going to dinners?, movies?, hiking?  Whatever it was that brought you two to the point of falling love do it again.  Send the kids to grandma's for the weekend, get a babysitter for friday night and go to dinner.  Sure, it may feel a little weird the first few times you go out, but that's because you haven't done it in a while.  Start slow and build from there.  There's no majic trick to finding the spark again, you need to work at it, but it will come!  Remind yourself, and your spouse, why you fell in love and got married. \n\nHope this helps!
687083
I was engaged to my husband for four years.  We have now been happily married for almost 10.  We took our time, because there were children involved and we didn't want to put them through divorce again.  However... we were sure we wanted to be together and married from the moment he gave me the ring.  Maybe you should give the ring back and tell him to propose again when he is sure!  If you love him and hold out hope, you two could keep dating.  This would just make it very clear to him that he needs to "poop or get off the pot".  Give him a little time, some men tend to need a little kick in the butt.  GOOD LUCK!
794413
I Say get some toys! watch a couple of "movies" together and see where it goes. If that doesn't help you really need to see a doctor! Did you recently get married or have a baby? that tends to happen sometimes!
466504
Realize what went wrong.\nThere is no fixing this if the marriage ended but make sure it doesn't happen again by not repeating past mistakes no matter who was at fault.\nPick Yourself up.\nStart attending events that interest you.\nSince you must be older , possibly look for senior activities even at large senior centers where you can go have dinner in the dining hall and talk with people your age if you don't have a strong friend network.
217193
Problem is your making it a problem. Let it go try not to stress about it. Everybody get's tired sometimes, tell your significant other to step it up and take the lead for a while. Try not to worry about it. Forget the male stereotype that men "have" to dominate. Sit back, relax, concentrate on letting him/her get it up for you!
1081449
I WAS married for a long time and it took me a long time to get the strength to leave him. I should of done it sooner. If you are scared find some sort of support group or email me. \nOnce I was away from him, I realized how crazy things and it was way worse then I ever imagined. I believe that marriage is a lifetime commitment. But, it can be broken if things are bad enough.  Find a friend who you can depend on to do what you must do. If you have exhausted all hope of improving things, then you need to gather your wits and be strong and do what you need to do. I stayed way to long and it really harmed my two youngest children. They paid a huge price.
870892
I know it's hard because I know how you feel sort of!  I haven't had the same problems but I got married quite young.  I'm an American so I didn't start parting till I was 21 and got married at 22.  I sometimes watch shows about Ibiza and so on and like why can't I go there?  Plus, I have problems in my head from High School and everytime I try to talk to my husband he is like "Your'll get over it!"  Still he knows when I need to talk and he'll listen.  So sent down with you husband and tell him what is going on before you get depressed!
201710
my advice if your not married yet and he was cheating on you and puting you always down and being always rude no you deserve better after you get married it will get worse and the relationship will be nasty and heartbreaking. I hope u are not a teenager . if you are working what is it bothering you are independent dont destroy your life find someone who loves you and will show sincere affections for you please dont fall in love with a married man who is not divorced yet you will break his familly heart affecting his wife and his children  specially when they are married for a long time and they were in love . I consider this home wrecking and selfishness.
1122514
im 24 and I just got divorced, let me tell you ... it is NOT FASIONABLE at any minute, it's a huge mistake. there is no such thing as love, its an involuntary release of saratonin and other chemicals into your brain.... you want that ? go to a rave and drop some extacy, whatever you wake up next to, you can always just get up and leave. but not when your married. whole new ball game.
810216
You should not even have gotten started with a married man...\nQuit whenever you get tired of it...
141999
A. He could be Cheating.. Which would explain why he can't get it up for you. B. You could touch his balls and feel if their not tight. *this does depend on if hes came or masturbated in the past day or so* C. You could just ask your husband I mean you are married to the dude and relationships require communication. D. You could do the nuts thing and follow him around and see what hes really up to.E. He coul be just wanting to spend some time with you because he realizes your marriage just isn't about sex. Or maybe you make it seem like its just about sex or want sex to much and he doesn't want that for your marriage. I donno.. You really should ask him seeing how we're not him.
343723
call him up- tell him how you feel- and get it out of your system.  Chances are he'll still get married, your feelings will be hurt, but at least you'll know you tried.  Too bad you didn't speak up sooner, it could have been you marrying him.  Learn your lesson and let people know how you feel while there's still something that can be done.  Good luck.
524888
Sounds as if he has moved on in his mind and left you and the marriage behind. Sad that after 8 years. How you can improve your marriage is how you react to the sitution right now. Don't beg or bug him about anything. Give him some room and the old saying if you set someone free and they come back they are yours is very true............
1070570
Be miserable, like I am. It wouldn't be so bad if the man I married loved and respected me. I guess that doesn't help you, but these things happen. Do what you need to do to make things right, if you can.