The father of my children cheated?Do  I leave him?
94410
That is a shame. You need to figure out if this is the way of life you want for the children, if not than you need to move on.
899349
Let the slug go.  Why do you want a man who has no character, who would leave his children behind for a new squeeze?  \n\nFile for full custody of the kids and file for child support.  Get tough.
608392
Don't quite understand the details. But it sounds like you're settling for second best.  You deserve someone who will love you unconditionally. You deserve to be cherished and protected and cared for.\n\nA man who'll continuously throw your past in your face (like you can change the past) and steps out and cheats on you is a toxic person.  He's just bringing you down.  Either he changes (which is hard to do) or you need to get stronger and demand better for yourself and your children.\n\nYour children learn from observation.  Do you want your daughters to choose a husband like this man for themselves?  Do you want your sons to become like this man and ruin other women's lives?
57503
Focus on improving your own life. Avoid relying on him at all, and don't offer him anything. If you're staying together "for the kids", realize that they will be growing up around a negative influence anyway. Nobody deserves to be cheated on, and cheating on him will only make you as low as he is. If he was not being his typical self when it happened, he will confess and apologize and won't do it again. But don't give him too many chances!
70159
No, don't tell your friend. The cheating problem is between the dad and his wife. No, I don't think I would confront a parent either; they already know right from wrong and a child is not going to change their behavior.
799258
I don't know what I can say that will help you but I can reassure you that you are not the only one. My ex disappeared for the first 6 yrs of my son's life and then reappeared acting like he was the best dad in the world. He constantly contradicts what I say (ex.: my son has dental sealants and can not have sticky candy because it will rip them off but he insists my dentist is a head job who doesn't know what she is talking about, he also tells him he doesn't have to listen to the stupid things I say, that my son doesn't have to be responsible for anything -he's 10, and so on). He also created a tape using one of his friend's to play for my son. The contents consisted of this impersonator telling my ex that I did not love my son, I did not want my son, my ex could keep my son, etc. My ex also has no problem with my son seeing pornographic materials lying about his household. My son told of this and more to a Children and Youth Services agent who told me even though what my ex was doing was inappropriate it was abuse. Now for the grand finale, I stopped my ex from seeing my son for 3 months because he informed me he moved back in with his child molesting mother whom my son was to have no contact with and while the investigation was taking place and I was trying to modify the custody arrangement. During this time he filed contempt charges against me, initially sending to the wrong address (one that didn't even exist) so I missed the first hearing. I later received a visit from a constable telling me if I didn't go to the next one I would be sentenced to jail. I had proof that he sent it to the wrong address before we had the hearing. At the hearing my ex couldn't decide where he was living or for what amount of time, stated I had denied him my son longer that occured, and brought forth info that his mother was recently forgiven for molesting her sons (my ex and his brother). The judge decided that he knew my ex had lied about the extended time but I was also in the wrong because I should have known (even though I lacked the resources to find out and frankly my ex should have informed me since he knew, I forgot we are still supposed to wipe their asses even after we are no longer together) that his mother was forgiven for her most heinous act and that he was no longer living with her. Never mind the fact that we had contact since I stopped letting him take him  and my ex could have mentioned it, never mind the fact that my ex couldn't even figure out where he was living, and never mind the fact that not once did I tell my ex he could not see him, that he could not take him, I WAS STILL IN THE WRONG. I was in the wrong for trying to protect my son. My fiance summed it up nicely, the courts are currently favoring the men. The court does not take the child's welfare into consideration just what they want as they are deciding.
1165308
Talk to that attorney of yours and have him get you out of the marraige but MORE IMPORTANTLY make sure you have him draw up papers regarding your children!
719534
First, I think cheating on him will NOT help the situation at all, just complicate it further....\n\nOK, now, IF you have strong evidence to believe he is cheating, then maybe you should confront him with the evidence  so he knows he can't BS his way out.  DO THIS AWAY FROM THE KIDS!  He may still lie to you, but at least he'll know you're on to him.\n\nHowever, if you're 100% sure that the relationship is irreconcilable, then you should pack up and go.  I'm a 26yo man from a divorced family of three kids.  My parents split when I was 7.  Divorce is not the end of the world for kids, if its done CORRECTLY.  This involves shielding them from parent bashing, fighting, making them your confidant, etc.  You may not like him or hate him, but he's still their father.  Now if he's a jerk like my dad, he'll resort to emotional abuse of the kids in an attempt to turn them on you.  You must make sure the kids are not being harmed, tainted, or brainwashed by any parent.  Hopefully he loves his kids enough not to harm them like that.\n\nIt's hard to split up with three kids.  My mom did it, and it wasn't easy for any of us.  But I also think you owe it to yourself to do what makes you happy.  I don't blame my mom for getting the divorce.  I realized they had nothing in common and it needed to happen.  I blame them for the shitty way they both handled it.  You can lessen the burden on the kids by keeping in close contact with family, and making sure all parties involved have their best interest at hand.  Be fair, but be aggressive in protecting them.  Remember, its their dad too, and they have a right to see him, but not if he engages in harmful behavior like verbally bashing you in front of them or other forms of psychological abuse.\n\nBest of Luck to you,\n\nSEAN from California
984346
Yeah, leave him immediately...and go where? What are you leaving him for, so this girl can have him because you THINK he cheated and you want him to suffer by taking his child away from him??? You'd better get your head together, my dear. You haven't thought this through...
988894
He is not worth the problems ,You loved him and that will always be with you but you must go with your live your kids need you. The pain will go away in time than you can find someone who loves you for you and your kids to. He don't want nothing to do with the kids its his loss not yours.
669138
You love the father of your son eventhough you knew of his infidelity.You are truly a woman of substance! But you didn't get the just reward of your devotion.How true is your love for this man?\nIf this man can make a turnaround to notice this true devotion of yours and give up his philandering ways,I say its right you stick with him.On the other hand, as a woman, as a fellow human being,you also have the very right to be able to love another more worthy.
1152521
Truthfully, it comes down to a morals issue. Can you be with & stay with a man that has cheated on you? You need to ask yourself, Will he do it again? You have to be able to live with the decisions you make. If you think he's going to flake or not be there in 2 yrs, then you & your kids are better off not relying on him. He can still be in the kids lives, but you will need to step out & find another man who treats you the way you deserve.
72950
I think you should leave and divorce him.It is an emotional strain on your kids as well as yourself.If you won't do it for yourself then do it for your children.It might be hard at first because it will probably be hard for you to make a change after being with him for so many years.A lot of people have a hard time making a change because they are afraid of the unknown even though they are miserable and deep down know that it would be best for them and their kids.You and your children deserve better.Just do it and get on with the rest of your life.
429996
He is a jerk and you did the right thing. Your kids should be your number one priority. I have 4 and they are the world to me. You are not the bad guy. The next thing he will do is try to get you to feel sorry for him to make you go back to him. Don't do it!
353654
In all honesty, I hope that for the sake of the kids, you make the right decision. Being that you have two of his off spring, your decision will be one that will not only affect you, but him too, and most of all it will affect the two boys when they get older, but also at the same time as a mother your first order of conduct is to protect your children regardless of whether he wants to be with you or not, in addition, if he loved you that bad to tell you that you should of stopped him, then he should of never left in the first place.\n\nAlso being the fact that he has children from another woman and is married to her, then I can honestly tell you that she will probally be the one to keep him and until he leaves her you will have a major problem getting any kind of support from him to help with the raising of the two boys.\n\nIf I were you I would forget about getting with him, regardless if you love him or not, as I said earlier, your first responisibilty is your two boys, for their sake and for yours too, you should file for sole custody of the two boys and also file with your county for child support, in addition to that you should find yourself another man, one who will accept your children and you too, there are plenty of men who can not have children and are always looking for females that have kids already.\n\nI hope and wish you the best of luck in this matter, and if you would like I would like to stay in touch with you to give you moral support, in addition to that I can also give you my friendship, and see where it goes from there.\n\nplease email me back and let me know how things are going for you from time to time.\n\nrichardaguilar402@yahoo.com\n\nGood luck and Congradulations on your two boys.....
223111
I am a mother and wife, and an ex-wife. I "left" my children's' biological father because he was abusive and a closet drug abuser. The "value" of my family was and still is everything to me. Just because I put my children's' lives and best interests in front of my own personal feelings doesn't mean that family has no value to me.....it means that I did what I had to do to make a better life for my family. And my ex. had every opportunity to see his children but thought and still thinks that there are things in life more important....how sad for him. Maybe you should look into your legal options in your state as far as visitation with your child goes....and I wish you well with that because every child deserves to have two parents that love and care for them. As far as the "women" that left you because of petty little things....well maybe you should re-evaluate your decisions on whom you date.
1057385
This man is sick.  He has committed the ultimate infidelity to you and your daughter.  You MUST leave him or you will never have peace in your life.  It will hurt, but this must be done or you will die in your heart.  You are too good of a woman for that to happen.   Please leave him, for your own sake and the sake of your daughter.