why my b/f is scared from people. he can't marry me coz his cousin hates me. we broke up after 5 years.?
87317
You are better off, beleive me. If he was to do something like this after marriage then you could have been in more trouble.\n\nMove along, just get over him, there will be someone there for you who will know how to take care of something precious and dear to him.\n\nJust think of it this way, perhaps he had grown weary of you and was wanting to have a reason. Does he give up his career, his car, his cellphone or whatever it is he likes if people do not like it?
291272
Hi,\n\nDont you think that is a pretty young age to get married. Does the law allow you to get married at this age over in your country. About his parents hating you, it is natural because they think that you are leading him away from them into danger, eventhough you might not be doing so.
240841
Get OUT NOW!  I'd be curious as what you would consider psycho behavior, but if it's scary, threatning or violent it won't change after you're married, it will only get WORSE.  I would suspect that slowly your friends will be elimintated from your life, because "they take too much of your time" then maybe family and you'll be scared to death and totally dependent on the one who's terrorizing you.
643038
You are so young.  If he treats you badly now, it will only get worse.  How can you think that you're afraid to be alone for the rest of your life? Get some self respect and you decide if he's good enough for you.  Good Luck with that, eh?
329059
People do have a way of hurint those they love most!  Its not just you we have all done it!  it could be that u r terrified of being hurt and you figure u will hurt them before they hurt u.  You may not even be aware that u r doing this but its could be self protection that u r doing.  You could be doing this self conciously and not even know!!!!  Have u been hurt by someone u were close too in the past?????  This could be the reason u r protecting yourself.  Good luck to u!  Remember- the person who hurt u in the past is not the people in your life now so they deserve to be treated with kindness and not be hurt!!!  Just remind yourself of that daily if it helps you!!!
1076094
Right now, just don't take sides. Trust your boyfriend and try to keep your cousin out of your relationship. It doesn't matter who did or didn't. If you can keep them apart then do so. Tell your boyfriend that with the current situation, you don't feel comfortable with them being together. Make sure to tell him that you trust him. Don't make him feel like it's his fault or you may lose him.\n\n~Pancake
766343
I would'nt worry too much if i was you even though i know you're heartbroken i bet you any money he'll be back begging for forgiveness from you very soon.I agree with the rest that he's being controlled by his family it's pathetic just look at it as a blessing in disguise that thankfully you learned his true nature this early on: that he's a spineless toe-rag.Now you can look forward to meeting a real man with a bit of backbone who will appreciate and love you and treat you as you should be treated.Goodluck hun.
1129418
HE will not change with you. Cut the strings, you have wasted enough precious time that you will never get back. He is feeding you a line about being afraid...get going and get on with your life. Good grief, I cannot believe you hung around this long!
222424
I think you are mature and caring, and kudos to you for not taking this guy's virginity before breaking up with him.  (Would that more guys would act this way toward their girlfriends!)  Good for you, also, for knowing that you are not ready to make this commitment.\n\nIt's good to be honest with him and share your concerns about racism, about your need for security, and so forth.  Of course he'll be heartbroken, but now it's up to him to deal with it, and I hope he deals with it well.  I also hope someday he'll become strong enough to stand up to his family and pair up with whichever girl or woman he wishes, regardless of race.  I hope that when you are ready to marry, that your man's family will love you too, but if they don't, that he'll be strong enough to ignore his family's wishes and stand beside you, and you'll stand beside him.\n\nDo you know the song "Society's Child"?
213495
It's called commitment and it's very natural to have a sense of fear.  Some people are afraid that things will change dramatically when the marry and they do.  The key is to try and keep moments of being carefree and remember this is a union and so it is something to be worked at by both.  Make sure he knows of your fears of things changing and try and work together to keep things the way they were when you were just dating...Keep on dating even after marriage.
109758
Are you scared, because he might harm you? If that is the case, you should bring someone with you, like an older brother, or a friend..You don't want someone, who is going to make you scared all the time..Best thing to do, is call him on the phone, and explain to him, that you are going to break up with him..If he is going to hurt you, tell your mom or dad, they will know how to handle it..Good Luck, to you, I hope everything works out for you..
541788
Ok I completly understand what both you and him are going through cause I have been there and done that, therefor my advice to you is if you really think and feel you love him try to understand his point even if you don't agree or like it very much. What it sounds like he is doing is avoiding having confrontations with his family and you. The less they know the less they will nag at him, they less they nag the better mood you will see him in. Think of it in a positive way he just wants to avoid problems between his family you and him, besides its also a healthier realationship for both of you, never know he may be thinking of taking the relationship a step higher and want to move in together in a few months and when he does he will drop the bom on them, just keep your eyes open at all times giving everyone and anything the benifit of a dought. Good Luck and take things easy enoy your time
1140217
No! What next blinders! So, you can't see anyone. He's going to get controling. Insecure. Tell him to Get over it. That is if you value your own friends and family.
963088
Hello:\n\nWell first off, you can't go there. But you know that, he is your cousin. \n\nSecond, girls have feelings about guys they can't have all the time. In high school I was practically in love with one of my science teachers, who was married. I even had a boyfriend at the time. Even though I knew we were never going to have a relationship or anything, I always daydreamed about it.\n\nBut eventually I just got over it. And my boyfriend made fun of me for a long time about it. \n\nI would suggest try to stop thinking about it, find some other cute guy to think about, and pretty soon you'll forget all about having romantic feelings for your cousin.\n\nI hope this helps and good luck!
381271
dont stress over him there are better men out there, i mean how much of a dream can he be if he is with your cousin after you two were together?
523565
When you return, and if he ever hints again at the possibility of being violent, get away from him as fast as you can. Then get a restraining order. He clearly has a violent streak. And if he can punch his sister in the mouth, then I would take him seriously if he says he'd kill you if you break up.\n\nDon't put your life in danger. No matter how much he says he loves you, he WILL hurt you eventually.
988431
You have said it in the first line of your question here, that this problem seems to be based on your past. You seemed to have been wounded by something that has already happened before. Its best you sit and think. Go back to that part of your past and mentally think as to what you could have done to make things better. I know doing so will be painful but it is something that you must do in order to ease the pain. Continuous suspicions, mistrust issues are not to be looped over such a long period of time, especially when you have beautiful people around you who I am positive are caring and concerned more than you know. There is absolutely nothing to be afraid of and most of all there's nothing more frightening than fear itself. Another question here from my side is why is it that you are afraid to love? I am asking this because we all know that what you give is definitely what you get back in return. If you provide love and affection, it is guaranteed that it will come back to you too. If you have any further questions or need someone to talk to, please don't hesitate to e-mail me. Remember, there are so many wonderful people around and you should give them a chance before you can think of anything else. Before that, please try and do what I've mentioned earlier about looking back and thinking for a moment. Until then, take care. :)