crush on a married guy.how do u cope.?guilty or not guilty?
82816
Speaking from experience, you're guilty. If he's playing along with all of this, don't waste your time. He's a deadbeat anyway. What would you think if you were his wife?
105188
Respect the thought tht he is married, never be involve with a married man they jst wanna try something different, like eating the same old thing everyday is boring, no matter what u will always never be hes no#1 priority he has a wife tht he will always love n of course his kids...why be in this situation when u hve to share someone.karma remember this u dun want it in return the nxt time..
953176
I know it's very hard, but you have to distance yourself from him. He's married, you're with someone...just picture his wife and how she would feel, and how you would feel if someone did that to you.
184666
do you love him? or are you angry?..Was he gay to begin with of just in the closet?.. None of that matters really of course. If you like the friendship, but can't handle "gay" part (I'm guessing he's bi) Then you have some options. One you need to dtermine what kind of sexual behavior he exibits. Destructive? Thats when he'll do anything with anyone anywhere. If this is the case I'd get out, get checked and walk away. If he has a regular long term lover then you may be able to keep the relationship if you can deal with that side of him.. Personaly (as a bisexual) I will NEVER understand why people who are bi (and they know it going in) are not honest about it. I don't keep secrets with lovers. It's amazing how many women are just fine with that.. You can even find a permanant relationships where every one knows everything. But where I live there are litterally tens of thousands of married men who are bisexual living secret lives, destructive lives at that. They put everything they suppossedly car about at risk and thats not right.\n  Now youhave to decide weatehr or not you want to keep on going with this person or not. My own situation is BiPoly. bisexual+polyamorus (I'll wait while you look that up)..Everything is like a marriage of sorts between like minded people. Maybe thats for you if he's mongamous with his male lover and monogamous with you. Guess that would be duomonogamy. But you get my drift. For gay and bisexual males its rare to have these types of relationships. Socienty has forced them into the alleys and closets so its been a catch as catch can situation. By forcing it into the blue area it has gaurenteed anonamous stranger sex is a given. . But this is changing and more things are out in the open. It would be nice if everyone could just be open and honest with out fear of retribution, but that is not how it has been. Being suppressed is like slavory. you do what you have to do to be free wen you can be.
355443
There's some boundaries people shouldn't cross. That's one. Try not to be around him often,you can still be nice and talk to him,just don't so often. And if he's flirting with you then he's crossing a boundary. Don't flirt back & tell him it makes you uncomfortable cause he's married. And most importantly,find a guy that's AVAILABLE & loves you for you & you love him & I promise you'll get over Mr. Married. :)
608285
If you cant realize what he might be thinking/feeling...\nJust read what typed.  Give the guy a break.  Would you call someone 4 times a day, if you didnt like them??\nThink about it for just one minute.  He could be justa tad shy, + you're still married.
533807
I was in a similar situation one day and let me assure you... It will end in a heartbreak, and the broken heart will probably be yours, and you will only blame yourself because you were the one who decided to get in between a married couple. So get out of it while you can.
586108
You answered your own question. You're married. That's it. What do you care if this person's attraction to you is physical or something else. It doesn't matter. You. Are. Married. if you're having problems with your husband, talk to him or see a counselor together. Bringing in a third person is a big mistake and will only make things work. Besides, you've only known this other person for five months. how long have you known your husband?
1046446
Temptation is normal, but don't let it get out of hand.  It's okay to have a little crush on this "other guy" for now, but just weigh what you and your boyfriend have and what you and this "other guy" have.  It sounds like you and your boyfriend are strong, moving past a problem like cheating, but obviously, you like your boyfriend MORE than this other guy.  That's why you're with him...YOu LOVE him, right?  If it is as you say, then you definitely don't want to give that up.  You tried the other guy 4 months into your relationship with your boyfriend, and you didn't decide to run off with him, but you stayed with your boyfriend instead, meaning that you want your relationship to work out with him, and he seems like he is prepared to stick it out with you as well.  If you truly love him, then you won't leave him for this other guy, even if it may seem more exciting or if you still have left over feelings for him.  The goal is to leave feelings from the past, in the past.  Since you have a commitment with your boyfriend now and you love him more than anything, the other guy is merely a temptation.  Like I said in the beginning, temptation is normal, but don't let it get out of hand.  We're all human...we all have hormones, adrenaline, sexual feelings... ;) ...Even happily married couples have temptations, but it doesn't mean they drop whoever they're with and move in with the other person.  Theres that self control and rationally weighing what you could lose if you go either way.  Now ask yourself, is the other guy worth losing your boyfriend over?  As time goes on, and you realize how much you have and don't want to lose, the temptation will subside.  If however, you realize you don't have much after all (and you don't actually love your boyfriend), then you should look further.  Don't make a decision until you are absolutely sure, because you may not be able to turn back.
251429
First marriage I knew him several years, then I dated him for about a year, then he proposed. HE cheated 3 months after we were married (maybe sooner) and continued to cheat for 3 years before I gave him the boot...It took a year to get the divorce back then...I would have left him sooner, but my family kept saying things would get better. After he gave me an STD (thank God it was something that could be cured), I divorced him! Stupid that I stayed with him for so long, it was like gambling with my life! I was miserable and I really began to hate him and the sight of him. In the end he beat me up and I made sure it the divorce was as nasty as I could make it.\n\nThen 14 years later I met a nice man on the Internet, I had said I would never get married again. Never say never...we "dated" online for about a year, (this was back in 1995-1996, we had a private chat program called PowWow, and we chatted EVERY night, then talked on the phone to say "goodnight". \n\nHe was in the Northern US, and I was in the South. He proposed online, sent me a picture of the rings and asked me if I would consider moving up North to share his life, and be his wife and partner. I said "Yes".\n\nIn November, we will have been married for 10 years, and aside from some health difficulties, it's been a very good marriage! He's my best friend, and we did not even have to go through a bunch of head games while dating. I was honest with him when we chatted, and I feel that he has always been honest with me. I was on the high side of my 30s and he was about 5 years older than me. \n\nIt really freaked my friends out, when I suddenly dropped out of my usual routines to spend time chatting with my online boyfriend.  All of my friends said that I was crazy, he might be an ax murderer, and all kinds of wild things!  When he came down South, we met, and the very next day we eloped! VERY ROMANTIC, and I remember when I signed the marriage license my hand was shaking and so was his! \n\nWe both took a BIG leap of faith, and I feel like God blessed us! Things could have turned out so differently! I say it depends on the people in the relationship and what they want in life, and what they may have experienced in the past. I met some real nice men between husband #1 and my husband now. I just was not ready to trust my heart to anyone else so completely. Two of them proposed to me, but I eventually broke off the relationships because I had issues with trusting them. A cheating spouse can make a person very suspicious and cause them to sabatage future relationships because they are suspicious. After my experiences, I say, I believe in love. I have learned that there are some good loyal and truthful men in this world, and you never know when you may meet the right man for you!\n\nIf it's worth having, give it time. I would have continued the Internet relationship longer if things had not developed as they did. I think I knew that he was a "keeper", and if he had waited longer to propose, I would have waited for him. Don't ask me how, but I fell in love with a man that I could not even touch! We typed so much that I typed the letters off of two keyboards. :D\n\nGood luck, and may God bless you and your future too!\nruthie~
405391
Oh? I have been in your sitution  before but, I got over it The incident happened to me 30 years ago and I never forget my experience.You only see him far away but you never have a long conversation with him.You just could not date another person.What can you do and you wish to hook up with him?Do you think that he has a wife already or he is a gay man.Do the school or college allow students dates  their teacher?.I do not think so and you might get him fired.Well I have been there and done that.As I recalled,I was 24 years old and I did not approach him and I was afraid that would cause his job so I moved on.It was very painful and I kept thinking about him.( he was single professor and very handsome)Finally,I graduated from my college and found a nice guy to marry.By the way, you should try to say hello and talk to him without reveal your feeling and see how he is.  You never know that you may change your mind about him and life goes on instead of being struck like me and I did not find out about him.
495007
yep, Married him,,,,we were friends for like 4 yrs we ve been married for 1 yr 4 months and to be honest it is the best thing I could have ever done, it is working just so great we don´t need to pretend anything we know each other like the palms of our hands we still can talk like good friends listen to each other ,,The secret of it i guess is to keep on being best friends many ppl forget their spouse should also be a friend to them and limit their relationships ...he knows my past I know his and we don´t use it against each other instead we use it to understand the fears that may still be a part of us..=)....Nope we didn´t really feel atracted at first I was *engaged* , he had a gf...time went by I had another bf...broke up ...and then I began noticing I had fallen for him I asked him about his feelings and I was lucky he felt the same way for me..
854843
first things first, if this guy is married, then thats where the problem is. you know sometimes it happens with most men, they meet this lovely lady and they like her instantly. to tell you the truth, emotions and feelings would have overriden reason in this instance and you end up trying to hook up with that lady. some may end up doing the wort case scenario, that is having sex with that lady on the same day but some of them will just give or take contact details like this guy did to you. \n\nand then when they leave you, just because you are no longer there, reason start to dominate feelings and emotions once more and the guy would decide that the most reasonable thing to do will not to cheat on their partners or wifes so he will decide to not contact you anymore to avoid any future problems.\n\nbut i dont think that he has problems in his marriage, its only that he found you surprisingly beautiful and attractive and found you irresistable. so i advise you to just forget about this man and just pretend nothing happened
1118722
Don't overstep your boundaries. He's married and you shouldn't be playing with the thought that it can be anything more. Keep your friendship and respect yourself.
529365
Here's a little trick. Picture yourself married to him, doing the things married couples do, meeting his friends and family, facing problems together, etc.. Do you like what you see? If not, give yourself some more time to know him better and do the mind excercise again. If you don't like it still, stop waisting your time and find another guy you can be comfortable with.
1063000
You know, it is funny that you mention this because a friend of mine was telling me the same thing the other day.  I think in her case that it was just a really strong attraction, which really isn't a big thing.  You just cannot act of those feelings being married as you are.  It is normal to find other people attractive and think that they are awesome to be around.  You are married, sweetie, not dead!
551623
no offense, but unless he's a first rate jerk, he won't be interested.  It's just a crush(although I'm sure you're sure its love) and will wear off as soon as you see the next hot thing.  Don't get involved with teachers, bosses, or co-workers...it ends up messy.