I have trouble clearing my mind while having sex,and often have trouble enjoying it, any advice to help?
96502
close your eyes and just thing in the organs of your partner as if you are in a dream imagin that you are doing it in work on the desk imagin that you are doing it in public toilet and poeple are waiting ousite .just make alot of intersting fantasy that what i mean ther is a lot of things u do(( digitlaworld@yahoo.com))that is may mail if u need any further ideas
971262
Stop stressing sex is ment to be fun, so jus twait till your comfortable enough with somebody and yo wiull just know its right
413269
Just to correct a couple of of bits of misinformation...\n\nED can be physical, psychological or a mix of the two.\nAn erection is best described as a "psychohydraulic experience.."\nIn the case that you describe, if everything functions normally during masturbation, then the issue might be psychological, possibly performance anxiety or some kind of issue with the lady of the moment..\nPerhaps the timing's wrong, or you're trying to rush things...\n\nIt's worth bearing in mind that, during masturbation, it's all about you - your attention is focused solely on your own sensations and enjoyment.  Sex with a partner is a lot more complicated, and it's not just mutual masturbation.\n\nThe best thing to do is to talk frankly with your partner.. presumably she is aware there is a problem... and it's certainly in her interest to get it sorted out, as well as yours.\n\nIt might be that you're not getting the right amount/kind of attention from her that you give yourself...  not enough foreplay...  too fast, too slow, too hard, too soft...  there's a million variables.  \nTry letting her watch you masturbate, so she can see what works, then let her take over... \n\nMost importantly, relax, take your time, and don't let stress get to you... worrying about it is the worst thing you can do.  Relax and enjoy.\n\nHope that helps, and good luck
1064467
I know its embarrassing but you may need to go talk to your doctor. This is not normal. I'm sure you are going to get a lot of responses, like hey baby call me  lol.   Maybe its a chemical imbalance or something. So don't go out and have sex with the next random guy, because that probably won't solve the problem. There is such a thing as sex addicts, so I don't think that you are the only one suffering from this.
1036119
well try meditating or a cold shower or pick up a bible that should help if not go to a sex therapist.
239075
i like to concentrate on sex.
1099406
Sheesh!\nYou need to abstain from sex if it is draining the life force out of you.\nYou've got to stop enjoying yourself so much and start navigating this hell we call our lives. \nSmarten up and get happy, damnit!
1167261
you are not  abnormal. This is true for a lot of people. It is true that the brain is the biggest sex organ so a lot of it is mental. That is why pron speeds you along, also you may feel guilty with porn or even self pleasure so your brain speeds it along to get it over and done with.  Condoms are a necessary evil they dull sensations and will slow you down but actually that is probably a blessing to your partner.  Relax and enjoy!  Your only problem is you ar human!
18586
Don't have sex if you are not enjoying it. Don't get drunk just to have sex.\n\nIt might be that you have some sort of aversive feelings, maybe a phobia. It is not typical. I suggest you go to a reputable therapist and talk about this. It seems to be impacting your life and you will feel better if you can figure out some about it.
439005
If you are afraid of offering your mate bad sex, then you should really talk to them. Find out what they like and what their expectations of you are when it comes to pleasing them. Silence will only make it that much worse by making you self-conscious. Talk with your partner and everything will be good. Have fun.
958635
Masturbate before intercourse to last a bit longer...or....think of sports or a tv show while having sex...just dont tell your partner you are doing that.  Good luck!
858821
My sex drive goes down when I'm stressed as well. But my girlfriend is quite creative in making me feel relaxed enough to have a go with her. Do what she does to me. She gives me a light massage, just to rouse me enough. I tend to give in in no time at all. G'luck!
367916
Check out some tantric tequniques, '"it will stop the focus being on whos doing what,and wondering for how long  can he keep up with you"it also enables you to enjoy some absolutley mindblowing sex for very long periods of time ,check it out on the web, there are also heaps of great books on the subject.
287832
when you are having sex ,just imagine your past foreplay.if it doesn't work then, meet sex therapist b/cos you may have organismic dysfunction.
296471
Well, let me tell U that I was in your shoes for many time, I had sex and it always felt good, I had orgasms but not during sex, I was so desperate, and frustrated, but one time I had sex with my bf and nothing happened that time, still he didn't give up, and continue doing things to make me get the orgasm.  After three months of having sex with him, and we had tryed almost everything, he told me that I needed to focus on the point, I mean, when I was doing it, I always was thinking in something else, and that didn't make me feel good.\nI found that the way to get the orgasm was being on top, so I did it, in the beginning it was really difficult, but at the end it happened.\nSo, my advice is: focus on the point that U're gonna get it, think that U can get it, no matter your past experiences, if U trust on yourself U'll be able to experience it.\nI'm telling U this, because now I can enjoy it, I have an orgasm during sex and in other situations, like o.r.a.l. sex, been m*stur*b*ated by my bf or myself. and it feels really great.
401154
Try going right to the point of no return, just before your going to cum, stop and relax for a bit, then try again. Each time you should be able to last a bit longer, as it becomes a little less sensitive, but when you do cum its amazing as its been building up :)
1039504
the first thing I suggest is to get a thorough work up by a doctor to see if there is a physiological reason for this. \n\nI also sugggest you take the pressure off of yourself and do not try to have sex again until you find out what is going on with you to cause the impotence. No point in setting yourself up to feel inadequate again.\n\nYou can just be honest with the girl you really like and tell her you are not ready to have sex until you find out what's causing the impotence.\n\nIf she drops you for that then she wasn't worth it.\n\nIf the doctor finds nothing wrong physiologically then it sounds like a physchological issue. \n\nAt that point I would go talk to a counselor or therapist.