I am married to a truck driver who, even whrn he's home I'd consider myself alone.?
93595
If you're miserable in your marriage and you have tried unsuccessfully to work things out with your husband then there is only one thing you can do--SHOW HIM THE DOOR.  Trust me...I was in a dead-end marriage and was totally miserable.  The only reason I stayed in the marriage as long as I did was for the kids. But now I look back at it and realize that I should have left him long before we even got married, because there were signs there that things weren't going to be right.\n\nSo many times us women think if we just stick things out things will change, or even we can change the man.  But sadly that doesn't happen, and for you to stay in a marriage\nwhere you feel alone is only going to hurt you.  Life is short--you deserve to be happy and feel loved and like you have a partner in your relationship.\n\nRegarding your previous split with your husband, it sounds like he was almost over-doing it in fear of losing you.  It shouldn't take the fear of losing you to make him treat you like his wife.  Cut him loose, and when he comes a wooing tell him "Sorry, you had your chance."  Then get out there and find you a good man.  You'll be glad you did.
1048127
Yes zool, sometimes I feel very sad and loney too.  My marriage of 27 years broke up about 3 yars ago.  Then I met someone, fell in love and got engaged.  He died last September.  Since then I can't seem to "find my place."  You know, where I belong.  I moved to another state but feel like I need to go back where I came from because my children and grandchildren are there.  What is making you feel sad and lonely?  You can email me at watsoq9@yahoo.com if you like.
619680
You don't have two personalities what you do have is a part of you that desires intimacy and affection. I think you are torn between your values and your emotional and physical needs. I have to commend you for your commitment to your marriage but how do you do it if he is so far away?  As much as you have all the best intentions I can't imagine having my husband in another country it would make me feel like i wasn't married. Does your husband have plans on coming home soon? If he doesn't and you do find the courage to separate from your husband it does not mean you didn't try to make it work or did something wrong. Unless the way you feel right now changes. If the need for an intimate relationship still haunts you, you have to seriously consider moving on so you can be whole again.
911155
When you get the answer let me know... I am dealing with the same problem.\n\nHusband was cheating on me... along with a lot of lies....We have been married for 4&1/2 years...have 2 little girls.... I don't work....\n\nI have finailly decided to kick him out and just let God take care of me and my girls. I haved worried myself about if for so long and now I can't sleep at night, I barely eat, and I have started smoking about twice as much...I am too young to be this unhappy. \n\nI don't really have an answer for you, but just wanted to let you know that you are not alone and if you ever want to talk about it my e-mail is Knlsmommy@yahoo.com
926906
Oh dear, maybe you are putting too much emphasis on your marriage. It seems that the new car smell has worn off. It sounds like you still love your husband, but you feel as though something is missing. It is, your life. Whatare you doing with yourself to decompress? Your mate and your child shouldn't be the only focus in life. Get a hobby. I mean that in the most genuine and caring way. Find a healthy form of exercising those mental muscles that will also boost your self esteem. And for goodness sake, do not get involved with another man, any kind of way. You have to realize that you are going thru a new chapter in your life, it is growing pains that you are having, just like when you were an adolescent. Keep the activity simple but very rewarding.Your blues will pass, but keep your personal activity.
334252
Try sitting down with him and calmly (and nicely) talking with him about it in explanation. I suppose that you have just recently moved out of his home and he misses you - is that right?\n\nWell, it's only natural, I suppose. I can imagine that if I were a father - especially the father of a lovely lady - that I would be ridiculously "clingy" and not want her out there running around all by herself. What would happen if she came across a bottle of ketchup that she couldn't pry open on her own? My God, how could she eat hamburgers then?!\n\nBut seriously, he is probably very worried about you being off on your own. Keep in mind that this is a new experience for him, too!\n\nSo, talk with him, and explain your situation and what you can and cannot do. I am sure that he will understand (though he is bound to be a bit sad, but that's only normal). To make him feel better, just visit him every now and then, but make your visits memorable and fun. Bring him a pie; I don't know of any fellow who would turn that down. :D\n\nBest of luck!
1123022
This is easy! You obviously care for him otherwise you wouldn't miss him. \n\nIts his job to be away its not choice - he isn't roaming around the streets or in bars picking up other women he is at work. \n\nI doubt very much that he is using you - but if you are serious about this relationship get used to not seeing him sometimes, there are some books available that you could read about life with a man in the army.\n\nIf the relationship does take the next steps then you could end up married to him and in which case you would probably be in army housing with him and would see him every day unless he is on exercise or operations away. \n\nGood luck - it isn't that bad my husband is in the army!
671743
I feel you. I think he could have try harder if he wanted to. I know the excuse "i forgot" or I was going to do it relax" and you didnt see shit done. If it is going to be like that I feel you should move out and take a break let him know you are not happy at all and you are under a lot of stress. What will he do without you. He needs to appreciate the things you do as a mother and wife. You need a man not another child you have to take care of. You must feel really lonely and yearning for a man.Take a break and try to relax, go out with friends and take a deep breathe.Try not to overthink yourself cause you will go crazy. I know you have bills to pay but figure out how to get out of this rotation with him cause after awhile it gets pretty tiring. I hope nothing but the best for you and take it one step at a time.
974200
Your scared of being alone?  Well, whats your number, seriously man, I have been looking for a guy like you my whole life!!  It sounds to me like your wife knows that she has you right where she wants you.  I mean, you said in your own words that she can do whatever ever she wants, whenever she wants and not suffer the consiquenses.  In other words, she knows that you are not going anywhere and knows that no matter what she does, your gonna stick with her.  You don't need medication!!!!  You need a girlfriend that doesnt mind being treated with respect and respects you right back!!  You are not wrong in leaving at all!!  As a matter of fact, you should have left a lonnnnnnggg time ago, like say WHEN SHE CHEATED!!!  I am a firm believer that cheating is the worst thing you could do in a marriage.  It distroys your whole marriage, trust, LIFE, and the kids lives too!!!  It is the most selfish thing you could do!!  It totally makes you feel like it is your fault when it isnt.  Sounds to me like SHE is the one who needs counseling!!  So, my answer to you is GET OUT!!!!  If for some reason you decide you just cant do it, here are some tips for making her turn your way again.  \n#1) Leave just for a little while, say a couple of days, she will be crawling back to you!!\n#2) Stop showing emotions...I mean be so cold hearted that even she could feel the chill!!\n#3) Start a new hobby, and start filling your time up with it.  She will wonder what this "New Hobby" has that she don't.  \n#4) Stop giving her attention.  The telivison is a great way to accomplish this.  My personal fav shows are - Lost - Grey's Anatomy - Deperate Housewives - Weed's on Showtime - Dexter on Showtime.  This way you will be devoting your time and attention to these shows every week and not her.  She will be crawling back in bed in no time to watch TV with you!!  \n\nI know that this is long winded, but I fear that your really not gonna leave, if I dont tell you this stuff.  She does not deserve you at all!!  Don't be scared to be alone.  Ther are plenty of things out there to get involved in that will take you mind off of her.  clawbeaja@yahoo.com if you need anymore advise!!
793683
Dear Omar,\nAm sorry to hear about your wife. It must really be tuff to hold out like you have. In my opinion, I dont think she would damn you for taking on a female friend. I realize it gets lonely especially for a guy. I empathize with you.  You know, I understand you want to stay faithful and probably have thought, what if it was me. Well, my friend, you ARE being faithful, as far as I know. Only God is the judge of what you do. And God knows your heart, whether you are being malicious or not. I don't believe he wants you to be with out companionship. Now sex is another story. You will be taking on alot of guilt because you are not free of your wife in your mind or heart.And suppose you get so involved you fall in love with this person. Then what? Do you chuck your wife and go with her? It is such a fine line as to what to do in this case. I mean what do the docs say about your wife? Is she brain dead? Is she losing body mass by laying? Is she deteriating, What? I say, just be careful not to add additional problems to your life that you may not be able to handle. Choose someone that clearly understands the situation and keep it plotonic(yeah right, huh?). Its nice to know you have someone to talk to and go to dinner and have conversation with, right? To go for walks and the movies. I know what you are talking about. So really you have to make that call and when you do make sure you have a clear conscience.
518702
I am in the same boat as you.  Trying to figure it out.  What cannot be cured must be endured.  Keep strong.  Looking at your life without that other person there feels so empty and cold.
670009
He sounds like a total loser. Sure you're in love with him and don't want to leave....oddly enough that is what a lot of abused wives say before they get beaten to death.\n\nOh well I guess that is natural selection at work, knock yourself out!
805533
Its natural for you to feel this way and what will happen to you. And no he doesn't need your permission, same as if you had decided. Look hard cold facts here you were both not living a marriage you even said he's never home and during the day you didin't see him and  no intimate relationship this shouldn't have come as a shock to you. Humans have needs and wants I know your need is the kids and a roof over your head and money in the bank but he's more than a bank machine . He too needs something and he wasnt' getting it. Sorry to say but this marriage was over a long time ago.  You should now start thinking of your own happiness and future and let him find his happiness you only go around once. Why would you both want to stay in a loveless marriage it wouldn't be good for either of you. I know some women dont' need a lot of sex and as long as the man brings home the bacon there happy. But for the man he's not. So its time to move on and let him find his happiness just as you will . \n\nAnd what will happen to you . well you will become more independent go out and get a job and pull up your boot straps your starting a new chapter in your life. You can do this. Happens every day.\n\nSorry for your marriage but if people arn't happy why stay in a loveless marriage.\n\ngood luck
579356
i know what ur goin through, i'l be married 4 years this july we have nothin in common ,no communication,when we go out for a drive we dont talk.we even sleep in seperate beds .i'v been with him since i was 18 years old now i'm 31 .but i got 2 wonderful kids which are my world. i just want you to know ur not alone.....
1033687
Hi Hmy ... I read your other questions and it's obvious that you husband isn't monogamous or intends not to stay that way. The only reason why you'd be  putting up with this  is because\nof low self esteem.   You don't think you deserve any better and  are desperate not to be alone.  Perhaps at the moment you don't deserve any better. Think of what you can do to change that.. \n\nMake what ever changes you need to feel better about yourself.  It could be education,  work, even volunteer work. Whatever it is you probally should spend a lot less time here.
292186
girl i know exactly how you feel!!!! ive been married 10years and very lonely... dont get discouraged!!! alot of women may have alot of male companions but ask yourself ARE THEY QUALITY MALE COMPANIONS. ive thought about leaving my husband many times, not for any other reason except we have no quality time together.... i stay because i dont want to CATCH anything, if you know what i mean... you can go have fun with friends and eventually youll  find someone. dont go sleeping around either.. ok..
219433
Its a mood thing.  I'm the same way.  Sometimes I'm heading home, just hoping for a fight with my wife. \n\nUsually, I keep to myself when I arrive till my mood changes.\n\nTry that.  Just let him know you need to be alone, your not in the mood for company...or to fight.\n\nGood luck darlin