what do i do if my mom wants to leave my dad?!?
87880
Unfortunately, hon, there is nothing you can do  except stand beside both and be there to pick up the pieces and help them move on.  Try not to take sides, but stay neutral because they will both still be in your life.  Divorce is hard on all involved all the way around.  Sorry I couldn.t be of any other assistance.  May God Bless - Take care.
198935
I'm very sorry to hear about your situation.  You have my complete sympathy.  No one your age deserves to go through what you are enduring.\nYou and your mother should get out NOW, and get help from your family and friends, or groups like Al-Anon or Ala-Teen, before this tears your life apart.  Make up your mind HERE AND NOW to be better than your father; don't let his problems control your life.  You are obviously a smart, squared-away young person capable of making your own path in life.  You and your mother will have to rely on each other for emotional support for a while.  But you will discover, the longer you both have been away from your father, that your strength and ability to deal with life will grow every day.  Remember - you have all of us out here on your side too!\nI too have been there, with an alcoholic father - just had to tough it out until I was able to leave.  DON'T DESPAIR, that is the sure path to ruin!  I'm pulling for ya!
70965
call a relative .. grandma is best and have them contact your mother to tell her that .. her daughter? .. needs her or whatever the situation is .. tell the relative to tell your mother .. if you cannot stay with him because of abuse or something you need to contact an authority .. tell a relative what's going on and that you need to get out of the house
932181
You need to tell your dad all of what you've written here and then your mom and her gf need to be investigated by child welfare.  You're a child and shouldn't have to take the responsibility of protecting your sisters -- that's your dad's job but he can't do what is right if he doesn't know what is going on.\n\nADDITIONAL THOUGHTS:\n\nWhy have criminal charges not been brought against those who perpetrated abuse against you?\n\nIf you have already reported this to the police and child welfare and your sister's deny that anything is happening, then there is very little you can do.  At some point your sisters may get fed up with the abuse and report it themselves.   All you can do is let them know that should they need you and Dad in the future, that you'll be there for them.  But no, I don't think you should stay home from college to protect them especially if they don't want your protection.
458498
Since she is saying you can't go out, I'm assuming you still live with her. I'd say what you need to do is move out. Two kids, a FT job and school is a pretty big amount of responsibility, yes, but if you're relying on her heavily as unpaid daycare and free rent, she will be able to continue to lord it over you and with a certain amount of justification.\n\nYou're sorta in a position where you've gotta pick your battles. You can attempt to sit down with her and have a mature conversation about how far you've come and what your future plans are, and that you do have a lot of responsibility, and you need time out with your friends to wind down now and then. I personally would either skip the tattoo for now - make it something that will be a 21st birthday present to yourself.\n\non the other hand, if i'm right that she is providing room, meals, and/or daycare to you free, you really AREN'T being a full-fledged adult. My advice to you is to move out and BE a grown up for real. I can tell you from personal experience that ANYONE can figure out a way to make this happen. find low-income housing, check in with WIC for help on some expenses, get the kids' dad to provide some support, etc. there are tons of resources out there if you look. To be a real adult you MAY have to go on welfare for a while, you may have to live in a much different type of situation than you are used to, but you'll be truly independent and self-sufficient. plus if you are no longer a dependent on your mother, she can't claim you on her taxes, which means you'll be totally seperate from you and you can start applying for need-based financial aid for school.\n\nNow, all this said, maybe you already are living on your own, she isn't babysitting or doing other stuff for you free, and she's just all up in your business. if that is the case, i'd just lay it on the line in no uncertain terms. i did that with my mother and we didn't talk for several months. she was furious that i would stand up to her. but i was totally on my own - she had no reason to rule my life. eventually she realized this and we're great now. and in your case, she'd probably come around sooner cause she'd miss the grandkids too. anyhow.\n\neither way, good luck. parents can be more exhausting than kids sometimes...
78033
well it might seem strange at first wen you want to tell them but u just cant find the words but what u can do is take your mom far away from your dad and just say "mom i'm not a liltle girl any more i'm your lilttle lady"thats what i did and she understood me.im 12 to.
402375
Mamma knows best, kinda thing.  Its hard for them to see us grow up and move away, it hurts them, while this is a joyous time for you guys, part of  your mom is realizing that your leaving the nest and she is sad.  While her controlling things annoys you, perhaps she sees this as a last chance sort of thing.  Humor her as much as you can, and try to be understand ing.  Sit down and let your mother know that although you are starting a new life with your soon to be husband (CONGRATS CONGRATS) she will ALWAYS be a apart of you and your life.  Tell her that no matter what you love her, and need her and want her in your life.  Because the real issue is the fact that your mom is hurting over what she considers "loosing her baby".  Your problem may be control, but her problem is far greater.  You obviously have a mom who loves you more than anything, so your off to a great start, just try to talk to her, reassure her that your not "leaving her" she is not loosing a daughter but GAINING a son!!  Best of luck to you, have a happy happy life.  God Bless your family and marriage!!
639221
Just tell them he was disrespectful of you and your mother so your mother told him to leave.
400818
honey you can't please both sets of parents. the big Question is " What do you want?" You have to set your mom down and tell her how you feel and what you want to do. That goes the same for your dad. Plus you need to tell your dad that it really hurts you when your stepmom makes those comments. You give me the impression that you feel like you have to please both parents and be perfect. You don't though. Sweetie be yourself and they'll love you. But you have to start by pleasing yourself first. GOOD LUCK
1023439
You need to watch out for the "common law" issue.  Such as Tennesse does not acknowledge "common law."  You are either married or your not!\n\nAn option most over looked is trying something like a pastoral counseling session, (or) call your local Exchange Club, YMCA, Big Brothers, Big Sisters, etc and see what, if any, programs they have to offer, (or) stop visiting your father and have your siblings boycot conversation, since he isnt listening to them anyway.  If the communication in the household ceased someone would begin to pay attention. OR dont get involved.  Ultimately, it isnt your relationship and someone else said it in another answer...there is a "reason."  Try talking one on one with your dad and see if you can begin to understand the "whys" to what he is allowing to happen.  Maybe he doesnt understand, imagine a man not understanding a woman!, that it hurts to have her there.  Sometimes men get used to bickering and get numb to the pain.  If you have done all that you can fathom, bow out! It is your life you are living and dont use it on worrying about someone else.  \n\nI had to use this tactic on my sister who is 2 years older than me. I needed to get her attention so I stopped talking to her. She is not 100% with the communication yet, but we do look forward to talking now.  That, and we both learned something out of it.\n\nGood luck on this one.  It is especially tough when it is family.  Especially good family!  Pick the answer that best suites your personality.  If you do something that you arent comfortable with you may make things worse.  Be careful and think before you speak.  There is hope.  Maybe its not your dad you should be dealing with.  Maybe you should be targeting you mother.  Since she is more the problem here.  Get a copy of the Final Divorce Decree and the Marital Dissolution Agreement, highlight the parts indicating where she is supposed to move and tape it to her door or better yet, her TV.  That would deffinitely get my attention!  Besides then you are using paperwork that she AGREED to.\n\nBut be careful when pushing things like "common law."  Call an attorney and just ask about the laws in the state you are in.  Or you can go to lexisnexis.com and look it up.  Like I said that is not applicable in EVERY state!\n\nGood luck!
998981
I believe if your parents have joint custodial rights you can choose what parent you want to live with. To be certain call your dad's attorney and he can tell you for certain. If your dad only has visitation you can't move in with him without a court order. It also sounds like if that was the case you have a compelling argument that you don't like your moms boyfriend. Call your dads lawyer, ask him the custody arrangement and good luck! Best wishes!
532228
MOVE OUT.  You are 21...your mom has no right telling you when to be home.
312344
well, if you are 18+ you have the full right to leave him..and he cant stop you. All you have to do i one day go out look for an apartment or somthing than say to him "dad, i am an adult now, and i have the right to move out..so i moving" say it in a nice way, and if he says no u cant   he cant stop you?  if ur 18+ its officially your life! good luck\nHope I Helped
558943
i guess u shld to speak to ur mom abt y u want to move n assure her dat u will b finen wont break her trust... u hav become quite responsible to take care of urself......\nalso tell her dat u will come to meet her regularly itz not  dat u r going somewhere forever.....\ni guess u shld sit down wid ur mom n speak n expalin her in ur best ways u can......\nAnd also asks her whts the reason she forbidding u from moving out.....then u can explain her on da basis of wht she is worried abt....
13746
She's your mom. If she hasn't let go at this point, she probably won't. Make sure she knows you love her, then do what you have to do. She'll get over it. Moms are like that.
824955
You need to tell your dad how scared you are and he can't leave you responsible.  Speak to him, please.\n\nIs there another family member you can confinde in?\n\nThis isn't your burden to bear hun, I feel so bad for you.\n\nSpeak to someone who can help you, please. x
363921
Break up with him and listen to your mom.