is this essay a good start?
91735
Just a suggestion: \nFirst explain the uses of its formula and then explain its every function. After that, site an example or a problem then solve it but make sure that you explain every step. \n\nAnd to answer your question, it's a good start. Gives you an impression that you're smart and determined to your work since you're able to come up w/ an essay to have a topic that is not commonly written by others.
823477
I think this might help you with your essay.\n\nhttp://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/557/01/
1079343
I find it best if you can try to open an essay with a question. Get the reader excited about what they are about to read. For example if you are discussing the civil war you ask " Can a nation torn at the seams ever reunite with peace?" Then in your intro. briefly discuss each point that you discuss in the next paragraphs. Then state your purpose, or your topic sentence. Staying with my example..."The United States survived a war that tore down the middle and through the heart using strength and vigilance" Your conclusion is just a re-statement of your topic sentence, or your purpose. So a good conclusion to my civil war paper might be " Despite the harsh feelings shared by the north and the south the United States fought to stay a country United. "\nDon't make it too hard on yourself yet. English is an incredibly difficult language. Putting emotion in your writing will come once you are more comfortable with english.
403418
I agree that you should have something in there other than academic related material. People who give away scholarships want a well rounded individual not just someone who has done well in school. They want to know you excel socially also. What extra activities have you participated in: sports, clubs, jobs you've had for example. You say you want to give back to society. Well I feel the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. What things have you done to already give back to your community? Anyone can write, "This is what I will do" however not many people can say, "This is what I have done and will continue to do." Dont get me wrong. I like your essay however if you want to win there needs to be more. Something on that paper has to catch someone's attention. Honestly, I feel what you have written will get lost amongst the other entries. They all will sound about that way. Have you thought about including personal stories about yourself within the essay?\n\nAnother thing, the following sentence you wrote doesnt totally make sense to me - "By informing the encouraged students of today and tomorrow, we are allowing for them to establish a better future for all mankind." Does encouraged students need to be informed or discouraged ones need to be informed? If someone is already encouraged arent they already informed? They already know what they need to know so they dont need encouragement. Discouraged individuals are those that need information. I could be reading this wrong, however, if I have a problem with that sentence someone else might also. Just something to think about. I like how you used the word catalyst though.... very good use of the word. Well with all that said, you did a great job on your essay. It is nothing to be ashamed of, however, if you want to win, there needs to be something more. I could be wrong though.... You never stated what the essay was suppose to encompass. Go to a teacher like another poster stated who has experience in regards to this scholarship. I could be totally off of what is expected of you. I hope what I stated helped....
1002281
ok, post your essay and we will read it!
1115484
These links should help you put your essay together.  Good luck with it.
670125
you think I am going to write an essay here?\ngo do your own homework!
373705
No.\n\nWrite your own essay.
230438
I would love to help you. Along with your essay, make a small project like a tree, and how each BRANCH(get it) works. Unfortunatly, You waited until last minute. I have done that; it is not the way to go
286420
None A good paper or essay never uses first or firstly what the hell is FIRSTLY
758258
The other answers were valid and good advice.  I would add that you should critically look at the short paper and see if you could outline it.  If your points follow smoothly you should easily be able to create an outline from what you've written.  If you can't, maybe some re-organization is in order.  As a last thought for you, the adage "tell them what you're going to tell them, then tell them, and then tell them what you told them" will make sure you have a beginning, a middle with your information, and a summary (beginning and summary can just be a short sentence).    Since your essay is short, I've included a link to a short article speaking about seven steps to writing a good essay.  Good luck.  Hope you get an Excellent written in red across the top!
996969
Your question is PERFECTLY illustrates the point of this assignment.  The whole idea behind the essay is:  THINK FOR YOURSELF.\nCan you do that? Look at how dependent you are on extracting info from the Internet without actually processing it. Can you learn to think for yourself or even evaluate what you read?\nHint: If you describe your own struggle to research this essay assignment, you'll have a good place to start.
1042412
The content of the essay is not as important as its structure. The generic form for an essay is:\n\n1. Introduction/ thesis\n2. Supporting point 1\n3. Supporting point 2\n4. Supporting point 3\n5. Conclusion\n\nSo basic idea:\nIntro: I have high expectations of this course, I'm excited to take it , etc.\nThesis: Overall though, my expectation is that this course will make me well prepared to take the SAT by strengthening my test taking skills. Specifically, I hope that this course with improve my analytical thinking, time management, and concentration.\n\nPoint 1. I know that analytical thinking is an important part of a high SAT score. I'm hoping that this course will help me to better structure my thoughts and ideas for the test. I know that this program focuses on this skill, so I am looking forward to benefiting from this, blah blah\n\nPoint 2. I also know that time pressure is a difficult part of the SAT. blah blah\n\nPoint 3 Concentration\n\nConclusion: I do havev high expectations of this course, but I am confident that it will meet and exceed my wildest fantasies. This is especially true because my instructors are brillant. etc. etc.\n\nFYI, B.S. is an important part of essay writing.
929842
The most important part of college is to attend and to turn SOMETHING in on the deadline. Even if it's not quite 500 words it will be just one grade if it's not an "A" you have time left in the semester to bounce back. Also, if you can clearly make your point (depending on the subject, if it's a writing class then you should probably type the appropriate number of words), if your essay covers your topic completely and is supported by original thought and support from your text, then you should be good. It's not your fault you can write in a condense and concise form and cover your topic thoroughly with 150 less words then the rest of his/her students.
849448
First disregard everything people have said up to this point. I hope you havent even read it yet. If you listen to me you will have no problems. If you go by the guidelines im posting then your paper should be brilliant.\n\n\nYour argument essay should be writtin in this format:\n\nIntroduction-\n Your introduction is the first paragraph in your essay. In an argument essay this will be that part where you explain the status quoa of your topic.. If your topic was was obeisity(the world wide epidemic of being over weight) then you would start of along the lines of saying how many people are overweight and how many people are estimated overweight in your country or in the world. Use some statistics or good information to get the reader engaged in the reading. Then explain why everyone is obeise, for example we have more fast food places and they are using more preservitaves. But your argument essay must be arguing something.... So... the last sentance in your introduction has to be your thesis. This will be your argument... In this case it could be "All fast food resteraunts should be required to adopt healthy foods" The next three paragraphs will be your body.\nBody- All of the body paragraphs are in the same format. Your first line in each will be the other side of the argument. For example the first sentance can say "Many people say that its not the fast food companies fault for making people obeise its themselves". The next 5-8 lines can be your side saying that the average american adult has barely any free time in their life etc etc.\nDo this for the next three paragraphs. Make sure your side is always stronger. After all the only point in an argument essay is to persuade the reader to think the way you do, and making you "win" their idea on the argument.\n\nConclusion-In the conclusion your first sentance can reflect back on the essay in a question. Your question could be in this case " Should fast food resteraunts add healthy foods?" Then give supporting evidence to support your side of the question. We could say "If Fast food resteraunts dont add more healthy options many humans including kids will die from obeisity and over weight related problems" etc etc. I hope you have read all of this and it was clear. \n\nIf you have any more questions email me. whatthefarick@yahoo.com
275088
Please don't take this wrong....\n\nDo your own essay!!!!!!!!
915929
The basic formal essay format is as follows.  Sometimes it varies from place to place, but overall, this is it (I got this from school this past year).\n\nI. Paragraph #1: Introduction\n     A. State your thesis clearly.\n     B. State the first main point to support your thesis.\n     C. State the second supporting point.\n     D. State the third supporting point.  (etc.) \n             (*Do not attempt to include in your opening paragraph all the information you intend to include in your paper.  Indicate only the most important arguments (main points) which will provide support for your thesis.  Your goal should be to inform and persuade your reader in a non-judgemental "voice."  Simply present the facts.)\n          (**Be sure to include background information about your subject.  Answer the questions: what, where, when, who, how (when and where appropriate)\n\nII. Paragraph # 2\n     A. Clearly state your first main point.\n     B. Explain in detail how this information supports your thesis.\n     C. State and explain any sub points (if it is going to take more than two or three sentences to explain a suh point then it is better to make it a separate paragraph.  In that case, use a good transition sentence to tie it all together and to keep an orderly and concise flow to your paper.)\n          (*use this format for all body paragraphs)\n\n\nIII. Final Paragraph: Concluding Paragraph\n     A. Summarize all of the main points (and sub points) of your paper, and then\n     B. Re-state your thesis.  \n\nAlso: Be sure to present only facts, not your personal opinion.  Always check over your work for spelling and grammatical mistakes.  Preferred font: Times New Roman, 12-point type.  Don't italicize, bold, or underline to emphasize your points (unless it is part of an original quote).  Do not use contractions in formal writing.  \n\n\nThose are the basics.  I summed up a few from the paper I got this from, but the stuff I left out is common sense anyway.  Hope this helps!