What keep a Marriage going longer than 20 years?   what is your secret?
86189
never close the doors of communication. live like two best friends and share your inner thoughts and secrets. don't be afraid to bear your soul ... the good, the bad and the ugly.  and be non-judgmental, understanding and accepting when your spouse does.\n\nwhen problems arise, all of our discussions take place in a bubble bath with a bottle of wine and one rule: no one leaves the tub until the issue is resolved or we agree to disagree. (it's hard to argue in the nude and so easy to kiss and make up)\n\nalways do unto others as you would have them do unto you. in other words, if you wouldn't "eat" it, don't "serve" it.
915240
Every marriage-  married young or older will change and get boring @ times If you let it\nYou both need time together away from the problems, worries, kids to reconnect\nYou need to date your spouse all over again
363793
Dont rush into anything forever is a long time. the romantic notion of marriage is great but the reality is often very different.
592705
The differences in men and women are what make it so neat to be with each other. People today don't try to make a relationship last. The trend today seems to be-get what you can out of another and then when things get rough-drop them.Honesty-trust-care-loyalty-understanding-compassion and love are the keys to a great relationship.My wife and I weathered many bad storms in our marriage,and are still together-in love- and will probably stay this way till I die. Oh,by the way,we have been together 21 years!!!!!!
460654
I dont think there is a real explination for making a marriage work forever, unless you are an angel or something... Just love, and stay true to the other person and yourself.
282287
Keep the communication lines open.  I know it's difficult maintaining a long distance relationship.  My first long distance relationship didn't work.  My second one did.  I married the second one and 3 years later, we're still very much in love and happy.  Don't forget to pray.  Put God first in your lives.  The rest will follow.  God Bless!  I hope your relationship will last forever.
577233
We waited till marriage\n\nWe havee now been married for nearly 14 years and are very happy together.\n\nI think being able to wait did encourage us to put our relationship into areas that we could build our friendship on - and that i find to be the most important part of marriage is being able to like and respect one another and being able to relate to one another.\n\nSex - great - but if that is all the relationship is based on then it wont last very long.  Also if you hav waited and the first night isn't the best then you still have commitment from each other to work on it rather than on relying on it to pull you through.\n\nResisting temptations - if that is really difficult then don't have a long engagement - bring the date forward if need be.  The marriage is more important than having a 'big' day after all.  But meanwhile - resisting temptations - try not to take long periods of time alone indoors (chaperones?) - that is when temptation can strike most often.  also avoid heavy petting - and bear in mind if you haven't got one then PAWZOFF until you are married (and NO i am NOT referring to not touching his car or her microwave!)\n\nI hope that some of the above helps\n\nand God bless your upcoming marriage\n\nwhen is the happy date?
873490
if you want to keep her,but I don't know why really from the sounds of it except that you have 20 years invested in the relationship,I would do a little investigating and find out who is checking your wife's oil. \n  I am serious..that is the only answer that is plausible and reasonable,and she probably feels that she cannot stay with you because of guilt. \n Be upfront and just lay the cards on the table and get it out in the open and find out what is really going on..and take off those 20 year old rose colored glasses.
573053
Seriously, the only real solution is to make plans to be together at some point if you want it to last.  Otherwise, it's just bound to get difficult to keep the flame alive.  So, as long as their is hope of being together in real time at some point, then you can keep it rolling.  Otherwise, it will fizzle in time.  \n\nMeanwhile...e-mails, phone calls, video chats....to keep the love alive.
485109
Oh man, my hubby and I will be celebrating our 3rd anniversary this Oct and 5 years of being together. It has taken us a long time to figure this one out. The answer sounds so simple but it can take ALLOT of self control and discipline. The key to a successful relationship is having a forgiving, unconditional love for your partner. Being able to accept blame and admit wrong doing and knowing what to do to change is a big key. When we talk "fight" we do not tell the other what we don't like about them but what we recognize they don't like about us. This way its not assigning blame and creating defensive walls but acknowledging wrong and working together to change. We are best friends, lovers, and we embrace all things together as a team. Marriage is the HARDEST thing to do in this journey we call life but I PROMISE it has the largest rewards! My husband and I got divorced last year and realized on the day of our divorce in the courtroom that we were running from our problems and making the biggest mistake of our lives. You have to go THROUGH your problems, you can not avoid them in any way. Good luck to you
386919
I heard the same thing when I was dating my husband. \n\nI was 20 and he was 23 when we got married. People at our wedding said it would never last.\n\nWe've been married for 9 years this June. \n\nGood luck with him. Always communicate. Don't restrict each other (except when it is something that could threaten the relationship). Have hobbies together and apart.
848745
hey, life is long if you are lucky, don't tie yourself down to a man, wait until you are 30 something, if you marry then you still have to be with him for 40 maybe 50 yrs..............................................................................................
451651
Married for 15 years and we still tell each other where we are and what we do and No they shouldn't get mad but they always will but they will get over it and they still love ya . It's good that you let your spouse know what you are doing just in case something bad happens or what if your spouse wins a million dollars wouldn't you want to know right away? There's always a what if and it's better to know and to be prepared than to wonder what the hell happened.Just in case it's your last chance to say I love you.
342231
I think that love and kindness plays the most important role. \n\nThink of the little things- kind words and thoughtfulness on a daily basis and taking time to talk will hold your marriage together. Grand gestures, great sex and money are nice, but aren't the glue that holds it together. \n\nHope this helps.
150762
Marriage only get's worse when the people involved stop doing the things they did to build the relationship. \nFor instance if a relationship is based on Lust. how long to you think it will last when you both stop being creative in bed. \nNow if it's based on communication the same thing applies. \nhow long will it last when money is tight and your both working to pay the bills, then have a child or 3 and they demand your attention due to the care they require. How often do you think you will have those long heart to heart talks? It's the loss of each person "5 basic needs" that triggers things like affairs, marrital abuse and the empting of your love bank.\n\nRead a few of the books I listed below. They can really help BUT you need constant work in a marriage. just because you said I DO does not mean it will get easier. in fact that is when the real work begins.
458014
I managed to keep a ralationship alive between Australia and uk via email, letters and phone calls, (\nOver the space of 3 months i spent the equivalent of $2000 US dollars on phone calls) .....I won't lie, it is Bl**dy hard work, bot worth it. I've now been very very happily married to that person for 2 years.\n\nYou have to be honest and open in any conversation, and you have to tell each other EVERYTHING!!!!! ( and I mean everything, bad things too!)\n\nIf it's right you'll know within weeks of being apart. If he's worth fighting and suffering for, give it everything.  \n\nI guess if you are just leaving school you are still in your teens, i'm in my mid 30's, there's a huge world out there to discover, live for now, enjoy yourself and follow your heart!\n\nGood Luck
385871
After Marriage if you dont have sex it wont last, being innovative and active in the bedroom is a very good way to keep me around and happy. I want to make my lady happy in the same manner. Communications is the key, the best sex organ is the mind. Good Luck Happy Easter