My friend judges everything I do ever since we started HS this year. What can I do to make her stop?
97253
Talk with her, let her know how you feel and ask her to stop doing it. Word it in a way that doesn't sound critical and she'll be more apt to listen.
867846
From what I can decipher from your writing, you seem like a well-spoken, educated, sympathetic individual.  Though you seem to care greatly about what this 'friend' thinks, she doesn't seem to care that much about your feelings.  'Bluntly' exclaiming that half the school dislikes you is a gross exaggeration and extremely rude.  Try to distance yourself from her as she isn’t offering constructive support.\n\nI think everyone on this earth can be annoying at times.  Improving yourself is great, but try not to be too hard on yourself!  I'm in college too, and I find that it's hard to make close, lasting friendships.  Don't be discouraged.  Try joining clubs that interest you.  There, you'll find other people with similar interests, and that makes it really easy to talk to them.  You could also do an on-campus work-study where you interact with all kinds college people.\n\nBut if you still think you want more social help, try the self-help section at any large bookstore.  There are tons of information out there.  Believe me, you're not the only one who has troubles about this kind of stuff; I know all too well but this kind of stress.  \n\nAs for a personal suggestion, I tend to imitate people I admire.  I note how they act or react in particular situations and I end up trying it myself.  I, also, do "small talk".  Just by asking general questions like ("what are you majoring in" or "own any pets") I try to find their interests and look interested at the same time.\n\nHope this helps!
225843
Tell her if she does it again then your done with her. She shouldn't need validation from anyone but you, just be sure that you are giving her the attention she needs.
1053175
Life is too short to dwell on a petty persons actions isn't it? \nYou know the rumors are not true, and so would a friend, so anyone who can be turned against you so easily, sadly wouldn't have been a true friend.\nI am sorry she is being so bothersome, it can really disrupt someones life to have that happen to them, and I hope things settle down soon for you.\nAs you've already said, about her actions not speaking of intelligence, it sounds very true.\nShe may have a lot going on in her life, but it is not fair of her to play such childish games.\nLive your life, and don't give her the satisfaction of letting her know it bothers you, she just wants to get your goat. \nIn fact, just brushing it off completely, and being happy that you are not the one being so impish would even be better!
473023
i had the same problem about 2 months ago.. i told her to change and be herself. she didnt listen and i told her i dont want to be her friend and she ignored my other friend and left the class.. the best thing is get it over with now and tell her that u dont want to be her friend unless u really care about her
233505
I'm going to assume you're an adult figure in her life.....\n\nFirst of all, children deserve respect - they shouldn't be overlooked in this regard for being "just a kid." Respect is not an age-related entitlement. Children have feelings as well and they understand when they're being blown off. That's not to say you do that, but make sure you don't. It doesn't mean that you have to let her walk on you, either - set boundaries and respect hers as well. Talk to her as though she's a person with hangups, fears, etc. instead of as a kid. Teenagers are "young adults" and are trying to learn what it means to be an adult because they want to be prepared for it. That preparation is a parent's/guardian's OBLIGATION and extends far beyond food, clothing, and shelter.\n\nShe might be feeling some puberty-related hangups, perhaps about physical beauty, weight, etc. - assure her that it's truly irrelevant regarding what kind of person she can be, though I don't know how well all the old cliches will work. Be honest and say, "I don't know if anything I can say will make you feel better about this, but I love you and you'll always be special to me," or something along those lines. Don't do that with her friends around, though - that puts her on the spot and only increases anxiety. But the teenage years are going to be the most anxious times of her life - as an adult, you're already well aware of this.\n\nIf she's bummed out about school (grades, class standing, etc.), just encourage her to always do her best and to make sure she's learning *something* from her classes. Don't let her coast after learning something, though, but praise her when she brings home a good report card. The whole point of us having a scholastic structure is so high school graduates can function independently (as necessary) in the real world. And a little pat on the shoulder with a "Nice job" goes an awful long way.\n\nIf she's desirous of a new wardrobe that you just can't afford, be frank with her and let her know that it won't be possible. Naturally, she's still growing and you'll have to provide new clothing as necessary, but show patience in reminding her that a label doesn't make her cool, regardless of how many of her peers try to pressure her into thinking so. If you take off a Dolce & Gabbana outfit and put on something from Wal-Mart, you're still the same person but wearing different clothes.\n\nThe whole point of having self-esteem is to realize that you *mean something* somewhere to either yourself or someone else. But that self-esteem/self-worth should come both from within oneself and from others - if others aren't providing it, you must tell yourself you still deserve it. Then go out there and show it.\n\nGood luck - I hope you can inspire her.  : )
8087
Don't worry too much about hurting her, she should get over it if you advise her that her bragging is making her look like a snob.  Friends shouldn't let other friends be snobs.
88032
well, there is something you have to learn in life, and it might as well start now. there will be people like this.\nYou need to accept it.\nAs for solutions, when she brags make it your thing to build her up more. she sounds insecure, so if she is bragging about being so popular, tell her that you think its great that she gets along well with so many different people. If she is looking to you for affirmation of her awesomeness, give it to her and she can move on.\nHow does she embarass you?
976534
Yes, you are wrong.  She is teaching a class and perfectly within her rights to outline classroom conduct expectations.\n\nYou are argumentative with your back talk and your refusal to do things the way she expects, which is distracting to the other students.\n\nAnd now you want to get "cute" and dissect the class syllabus for "contract infringement."  Give me a break.\n\nNot only is she fully within her rights to penalize your grade but she can expel you from the entire class.  \n\n \n\nYou say you are "grown up" but you are not, you have a lot of growing up to do.  I suggest you take responsibility for your own actions and obey the rules of the class.\n\nPeace.
446580
well if its only one class that she does that.. BUT still that is not wat a friend would do! If i were you i would talk to her alone like at one of your houses or even during lunch at skool. just say " i need to talk to you privatly" and then she'll understand that its important and you can just tell her that u dont like her leaving you behind. if she is your friend, she'll understand.
88436
Why should you leave and loose one year of college because they are insenstive to your feelings? You can ignore them (don't respond to them or show any reaction to their teasing). You can tell them you don't like the teasing and tell them to stop it. If the first two suggestions don't work, them report them to the college for harrassing you. Don't loose one year of college because they are immature.. Your there to get and education, don't let them deprive you of it.\nP.S. It could be you were chosen by them or someone in their group as a part of a senior sorority pledge they made, some of the things they do are meaningless and stupid.
932150
Tell her to stop then because it is hurting your feelings.  If she don't want to stop, then you should stop hanging out with her.  Friends should respect each other.  Stick to your decision, no matter what the consequence maybe.  Don't worry about her gossiping about you, the most important thing is you stick to who you are as a person.  Eventually your action will speak louder than her words, if she retaliate like that.
361263
don't let her bother you. what grade are you in? eventually everybody matures, and for those that don't, the rest of the kids will realize what a bitc* she is. Just ignore her completely, fly under her radar, but don't do anything that will make her feel like she's controlling you. \n\nJust take it with a grain of salt. Eventually she'll get her commuppins, and you'll be all the better for it. \n\nThis is probably the answer you don't want to hear because it's not easy to do, but the harder things are the more they're worth doing. Good luck.
980461
What are you, the stink police?\n\nI absolutely don't get you or the other school brats who have written in like it's okay to criticize "in a helpful way" your friends.  Do any of you like to be hurt?   I can just see a school full of teenagers running around sobbing because you're all so helpful pointing out each other's flaws in the name of "friendship".   When did this version of friendship start?\n\nWith friends, you're there for them no matter what.   You don't judge or criticize or tell them what to do with their hair or their boyfriends or their body odor.   Would you want someone telling you that you are selfish or immature or a gutless coward because you leave notes for people who offend you?\n\nI don't think you're trying to be her friend.   Your question is all about you, and you sound like a major drama queen, worried about how being a snitch will fall back on you.   Face it, you aren't trying to help her.   You're trying to find a way to be nasty without getting caught.   You even said the teachers won't do anything about it, so why bother embarrassing or humiliating this girl?\n\nMaybe she can't take showers at home because she has a stepfather who likes to watch.   Maybe she can't wash her own clothes because her mom's a drunk and doesn't want to take the girl to the laundrymat.   You don't know WHAT her situation is, so why not focus on yourself (like you aren't already) and see what needs improvement there?    That should keep you busy for awhile.\n\nGood luck.
706643
Tell her that you won't let her do that to you anymore.  If she values your friendship, then you need to let her know that you will not allow her to continued to do this.  People will always walk all over you until they know that they can't.  YOu have to stick up for yourself.  Don't talk to her for a week or so.  Then call her up and say.....next time, it will be over.  Don't treat me like that anymore.
858946
Hi, The best thing to do is find another friend.  She is NO friend if she does this.  Start socializing with others and try not to be around her.  She is toxic to you and exactly what is happening to you is the result.  She will lower your self esteem and ruin your self confidence.  Remind yourself that what she is saying and doing is not the truth and she is not a friend.  Surround yourself with positive, content, and happy people.
175205
Spend a little less time with them at a time, until you just don't see them very often. If they ask you to do something with them and you don't want to go, tell them that you're doing something else. Eventually they probably won't ask anymore. Meanwhile, find some new friends to hang out with. If you spend more time with your new friends, your old friends will get the picture. Don't walk up to your friends and say "I'm not going to be friends with you anymore," because that will just make them mad, they won't listen to you, and you'll sound like you're in the first grade.