how to overcome shyness fast?
88531
don't worry for a second what other people are thinking of you .Just listen to what they are saying.Get the focus off of YOU
71156
Tips For "Shaking Your Shyness"\n\n1.Conversation topics-never leave home without them.\n2.Let people know you're shy.\n3.Reward effort not outcome!\n4.Make things easy for the other person.\n5.Pick one social skill to practice at a time\n6.Take classes \n\nConversation Topics-never leave home without them.    Good conversationalists are rarely at a loss for words because: 1) they do so many things and go so many places that they have lots to talk about or 2) they prepare.  Good conversationalists never leave home without something to say to the people they think they'll be seeing that day.  If they're going to a party, they brush up on topics of interest to the people they know will be attending.  Before returning to work on a Monday, they think about the activities their colleagues had planned for the weekend.  They brush up on current events, the weather and anything else that might be the small-talk they need to get a conversation going or to keep it going.  Never leave home without at least a half-dozen things to talk about.\n\n   2.\n\n      Let people know you're shy.  This is a controversial subject.  Some people recommend that you never tell people you're shy, because people will use that information to label you.  Then again, if you avoid people, look down instead of making eye contact, stammer and stutter or turn three shades of purple when you're uncomfortable in social situations, people are going to draw conclusions of their own and odds are they'll be less favorably impressed with you than if you just tell it like it is---that you're nervous or feeling shy.\n\n      I think the problem arises because there are two ways to be shy---the obvious way and the not so obvious way.  The obvious way to be shy is to blush, tremble, twitch or otherwise physically manifest your shyness.  The not so obvious way is to avoid eye contact with people, not have much to say or decline offers from others you'd like to accept, but that are too far outside of your comfort zone for you to feel comfortable attending. \n\n   3.\n\n      Reward effort not outcome!   Memorize this one, because it's absolutely critical for conquering your shyness---or anything else you want to master, for that matter.  The only thing we can control in our life is our self---and even that can be a stretch sometimes.  We can't control other people and we certainly can't control how other people react to us and the things we do.  Nevertheless, most of us define our successes and failures by the way other people relate to us.  If we smile and they smile back, well good.  But if we smile and they don't smile too, we see it as a failure.  WRONG!!!   You won't get very far that way. \n\nIn fact, at least  in my book, what you did was a smashing success.  You tried.  You made an effort and that's all you can be responsible for.  You can't control how other people respond to you.  Sure, you can look back on your effort and speculate about things you can do to improve your performance next time, but at that very moment--at the precise time that you smiled, you made an effort and it's your effort that needs to be rewarded.\n\n   4.\n\n      Make things easy for the other person.  This is a tuff one, because as shy people, most of us are too busy worrying about ourselves---about how we look, what we say and whether other people will like us--- to stop and think about what we can do for other people.  But really, that's what being social is about---the other person, not us.  Dale Carnegie knew that.  He built a career on teaching people how to make other people feel good.  In his book How to Win Friends and Influence People, he lists principle after principle for putting people at ease and helping them feel special.   \n\n5.Pick one social skill to practice at a time.  You don't need to become a social butterfly overnight--and it's unlikely you could if you tried.  What you can do
706729
There's really nothing you can do to get over your shyness. You just have to go for what you want. And if that doesn't work out, you just find something new and go for that. Everyone is a little shy once in a while. But you can't let it control your life. I'm sure the girl is really shy too. Just go for it!! What do you have to lose?
214006
Shyness is just the insecurity of ones self. Be confident and sure about yourself. If you aren't no one else will be either. Learn to trust yourself as well as love yourself. You be fine. GOD BLESS
147455
ptoms of shyness\nblushing \nheart pounding \n"butterflies" in the stomach \nstrong feelings of uncertainty \ndifficulty carrying on a conversation \nPossible causes of shyness\nlack of confidence (ok... that's too obvious) \ninferiority complex (you are a creature of GOD, why would god discriminate in his creatures? think about it... and stop feeling inferior) \nyour thinking pattern (of negative thoughts, so fear creeps in, and your subconscious mind reacts according to that) \nlack of knowledge about the expected behavior in social situations \nsometimes, its based upon your previous experiences \nFirst of all you will need to learn how to relax. Shy people often get anxious or "tensed" in social situations. When I say "tensed" I literally mean it. In social situations, where you feel shy; you get tensed up, your muscles tighten, all of your body literally builds tension (like if we stretch a rope). All you have to do is to loosen yourself. Anxiety Cure\n\nThis may help:\n\nEvery night before sleeping lie down on your back. I will recommend removing the pillow. Put your hands beside your body (so that they point to the feet). Now take some deep breaths. Say to yourself my body is getting relaxed. Imagine all of your body parts going into the state of ultimate relaxation one by one. Start from head to toe. Imagine all the tension in your muscles is getting out from your body through the fingers of your hand. Finally all of your body is completely relaxed and you are experiencing ULTIMATE RELAXATION. At this time imagine a golden light which is giving you infinite power to help you succeed in every aspect of the life. This way you will get a very sound sleep also. \n\nNow again coming back to social situations... if you start getting tensed... just say to yourself "RELAX" and imagine all the tension easing out from your body (as you do while sleeping). Ease your shoulders and loosen up. You will be more calm and cool then. Now say affirmatively to yourself: "I am in control of how I think and feel - no one else on earth has this power unless I give it away." And this is a FACT. In this way, take control of your attitude, and you will take control of your results.\n\nNow the technical stuff explaining why the muscles get tensed\n\nWhat happens in our bodies when we are under threat. It's very much chemistry. When subjected to a threat or fear, such as real conflict, your body will release chemicals to help you fight with the situation. These will affect your body and mind in certain specific ways. Your heart beat will increase. You start loosing control over your tongue. You no longer remain who you actually are. Your mind stops working and you know what to say. \n\nThe SOLUTION - How to loose fear?\n1. Let me make it clear... FEARS HAVE NO REALITY (yes, I am shouting). They doesn't simply exist. They exist only in one's mind. I will make it clear. A small child can be paralyzed with fear when a playmate says there is a monster under the bed who will grab him in the night. But when the parent turns on the light and shows there is no monster, he is freed from fear. The fear in the mind of the child was every bit as real as if there were really a monster there. The thing he feared did not exist. In the same way, most of our fears have no reality. They are merely illusions. \n\nMost of the fears exist more from PROGRAMMING than from reality.\n\nOk... let me tell you an another story when I was young (say, 15 years old). I didn't know driving. I had a fear in my mind that I can not drive and will not able to drive for my entire life. I really feared driving. But, then I started to learn driving. I used to drive very slowly, fearfully. But gradually, I learnt to drive perfectly and all of my fear was gone. And now I can drive as rashly as you can imagine without any troubles or fear. So what we learnt from this? What we learnt is that... we should face the fears
139015
Firstly be very careful who you try to speak with, second try speaking with your mouth closed, it might not help your shyness but it sure as hell will be a fun turn at a party!
319320
Hi there!\n\nI was terribly shy all through elementary school, middle school and high school. I think the main causes for mine were partly it was my personality, but also we moved alot, my dad was in military and i suffered some serious abuse from a young age...\n\nThese are some things that helped me and I hope they help you. First, I forced myself to take a public speaking class in high school and to get a job dealing with the public. It was very scary at the time and hard, but it did help me to start overcoming the shyness. Don't stay away from social situations, place yourself in them so you get used to talking, socializing etc...\n\nDon't think you are weird or strange for being so shy. Many teenagers and grownups as well suffer from shyness to some extent. Mainly it is caused because we want to be liked, want to say the right thing and are afraid we won't. I know when i was a teenager i was very afraid of boys because i didn't know what to talk to them about, when i finally started talking to them i found out they weren't that much different from the girls i was talking too. As you get older, you tend to lose some of the shyness, because you are working, maturing, extending your experiences and with confidence developed out of those situations you lose that insecurity. \n\nI know that you must have hope. If you had seen how shy i was at your age (I couldn't even go to a store and make a purchase that is how bad it was). I never looked anyone in the eye, etc...And now I am 49 years old, never meet a stranger and a people person! \n\nMy friends say that people gravitate towards me and everyone likes me. You know why? Because i always remember how it felt to feel uncomfortable, shy and out of control/insecure - those feelings have made me an empathetic person and i try to put people at ease when we meet. I give them a big smile, am friendly, ask questions about them to show i am interested in them and this makes them feel good! So use your shyness as a tool. First, remember that we are all insecure and scared in certain situations - I mean how many people do you know that hate public speaking? We all want to be accepted and liked and then just get out there and take chances and try to turn your shyness around - don't worry only about you try to focus on the other person and make them feel at ease...see what happens!\nIdentify the reasons you think you are shy and wk on changing them as well...\nDon't give up you sound like a great person and it takes time.\n\nsincerely,\nalaska friend
97553
The only thing wrong is that you are very shy and have not found a way to work around the problem. My advice would be to use your hobbies and interests to help you find someone that has things in common with you. Join groups or teams or go places that have to do with your hobbies and interests. The people that you will find in the groups or on the teams will have the same thing in common with you and it will give you something to talk about. Once you have broken the ice it will be easier to continue the conversation. I strongly believe that you don't "Find" love, that it will find you, but it never hurts to put yourself in a place where it will have a chance to find you. By joining groups or going to places that you have an interest in, you are automatically placing yourself with people that have the same interests as yourself and giving you something to open a conversation with that you will feel confident talking about, which will help with your shyness. Good Luck!! =-)
970547
I am shy and shyness in not a disability, it's just a personality. There is a problem if you are too shy. You could start by participating in Yahoo Answers more often to familiarize yourself with the community and shyness will go away.
168705
I'm shy, so please write!
690005
Shy is really sweet, unless it becomes an obstacle to conversation.  I've been with people with whom casual conversation is like pulling teeth, and it gets tiring.  Those of us who enjoy conversation appreciate someone who can help hold up the other end now & then!  :)
641680
taking a deep breath and trying to imagine yourself in a peadeful place.......I struggle very much with impatience, and even though I still get very impatient, I have become quite good at hiding it, it just takes practice and work.\nGood luck!
144568
Its OK to be shy, so what if it takes you a while to feel comfortable with new people and new situations. In fact, it can even be helpful to be a little shy. When you're shy, you may spend a little extra time observing the scene before jumping right into it. And you're unlikely to talk to strangers, which you shouldn't do anyway!\nLook up - affirmations - they are good for all of us.\nTell someone about this if your depressed and talk to them. A parent, friend, teacher. Good luck to you and don't worry. Friends happen.
221877
Overcoming shyness is not easy, but can be done. I used to be really shy too, but I started hanging around people who were outgoing then myself and I started noticing the positive attention they gained by being outgoing. I just worked on walking up to people and introducing myself and I learned that if I want something I should ask, the worse someone can ever say is NO. \nPractice makes perfect, the more you do it, the easier it gets. :D\nI now have lots of nice friends and I have been out on a lot dates. :)\n\nOh and as far as getting a boy to notice you. Don't overcome your shyness just for that. :) \n\nThe best way to get someone to notice you is just by being yourself. :)\nGo up to him, start off with a simple hello. :) Introduce yourself. \nLittle by little and believe me, it will take a snowball effect, before you know it, you just may have yourself a nice friend,if not, well, there are many others out there. :D\n\nHope it helped good luck
447686
I found drama really helped me get over my shyness.  If you're in highshcool take a drama class.  If you're out of highschool, look into a theatre company and audition.  Even if you don't make it, the simple fact that you auditioned infront of -people- will slowly help you
540885
Lots of people talk.  Learn to ask intelligent questions and listen and you will find friends pretty fast.  And after they are your friends your shyness about talking will start to fade as you get to know them.
234624
Self-help\n\nIf you are naturally shy, you may find it helpful to join a self-confidence or assertive course at an Adult Education Centre. Relaxation exercises may help you feel generally less anxious - you can get details of these from many GP surgeries.\nPsychological treatments\n\nSocial Skills Training: This helps to make people feel more relaxed and confident in company. It does this by teaching some of the simple social skills that we tend to take for granted, like how to start a conversation with a stranger. There is a lot of practice with other people and so-called 'feedback' - people watch themselves practising on video to get an idea of what they are doing and how they appear to other people.\n\nExposure Therapy: This involves helping a person to relax while in the situation that they find frightening. It can be done in stages, each time making the situation a little more intense and frightening. Another way is called 'flooding'. The patient is first taught how to relax in a frightening situation and is then put into a situation that would normally worry them, such as a crowded room. They are then helped to relax and wait for their anxiety to disappear, which it does after a while.\n\nCognitive Behavioural Therapy: We can often make ourselves anxious by the way that we think about things. This treatment helps people change the way that they think about themselves and other people. Take the situation when a conversation dries up. Someone with a social phobia will tend to think that it is their fault, and so will start to feel anxious. In Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, the therapist will remind them that it is just as likely that the other person has run out of things to say, a much more realistic and less worrying way of thinking about the situation. \n[Top of page]\nDrug treatments\n\nBeta-Blockers: These drugs are usually used to treat high blood pressure. In low doses, they control the physical shaking of anxiety - which can be a symptom of the social phobia - and can be taken shortly before meeting people or before speaking in public.\n\nAnti-depressants: A particular type, the so-called 'Monoamine Oxidase Inhibitors' (MAOIs), have been found to help, and sometimes to stop the anxiety and panics, although it often takes a few weeks for the treatment to work. There are drawbacks though. They tend to lower the blood pressure, which can make people feel faint. Some foods, such as cheese and yeast extract, may produce dangerous reactions with these drugs, so people using MAOIs have to follow a special diet which leaves out these foods. Some cough medicines that can be bought at the chemist can produce similar reactions to these foods.\n\nThere are now some new MAOI drugs called RIMAs (Reversible Inhibitors of Monoamine oxidase - A). These don't seem to produce the above reactions and so the user can eat what he or she likes. Other types of traditional anti-depressants don't seem to work very well in social phobia.\n\nMore recently developed anti-depressants (known as SSRIs - Selective Serotonin Re-uptake Inhibitors) have been found to be helpful in social phobia, but may sometimes cause headaches and dizziness in the first few weeks. You can eat what you like if you are taking these drugs.\n\nTranquillisers: Drugs like Valium were used in the past to treat all sorts of anxiety. We now know that they are addictive and that they do not help in the long run. They should usually not be used to treat people with a social phobia.