Why are there so many Chuck Norris jokes around all of a sudden? Aren't they mostly new?
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They have been around for a while and not really new. However, there are two New York Post articles recently about it and even interviewed Chuck for his thoughts and that's what sparked the new interest. \nhttp://www.4q.cc/chuck/index.php?topthirty \nhas the most popular thirty for Chuck Norris, Vin Diesel and Mr. T. Check out other links on the site for more jokes and you get to rate them too.
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When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.\n\nChuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.\n\n(Supposedly a couple of Mr. Norris' favorite - mine too)
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Chuck Norris is the 5th state of matter. The others....don't matter!
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OK those jokes are pretty good and i also have one here waiting for you\n\nWhat did the pirate say after someone asked why there was a steering wheel in his pants.\n\nhe says: Argghh its driving me nuts! hehe sorry its kinda dirty but it was good (to me it was good)
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cuz now a days kids r obssed with chuck norris...and make all kinds of jokes about him about how beastly he is
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When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.\n\nChuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.\n\nThere is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.\n\nOuter space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.\n\nChuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.\n\nChuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.\n\nChuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.\n\nChuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.\n\nThere is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.\n\nWhen Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.\n\nChuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.\n\nChuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.\n\nThere is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.\n\nChuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.\n\nChuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.\n\nChuck Norris gave Mona Lisa that smile.\n\nChuck Norris can slam a revolving door.\n\nChuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost\n\nRemember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV. \n\nContrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
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Well, will somebody tell me who is Chuck Norris??
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"You know what kind of furniture Chuck Norris has in his house?" "Bowflex."\n\n "Chuck Norris never blinks his eyes. Never."\n\n\n* * * \n\nTeenagers all across the country, many of whom have never even seen Walker, Texas Ranger, are telling Chuck Norris jokes.\n\nThey're really bad. If you want to blame someone, the guilty party is a Brown University freshman. Since last summer, Ian Spector has been spreading jokes like: "Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there."\n\nI collected 40,000 jokes like that. Every day he gets more than a half-million hits on his Web site, The Random Chuck Norris Fact Generator (www.4Q.cc/chuck/) His jokes have been picked up by Saturday Night Live. \n\n\n* * * \n\nCustomer walks into the Boston Market.\n\n"How you doing tonight?" says Matt.\n\n"Good."\n\n"You know who else is doing good? Chuck Norris."\n\nThe guy browses the selections, asks for turkey.\n\n"We're out of turkey, sir," Matt tells him. "Do you know why we're out of turkey? Chuck Norris."\n\n\n* * * \n\nWhen the craze started, Norris was more befuddled than angered or amused. He let his publicist handle the newspapers. He stuck to his Walker persona, which is, you know, brick wall. On his Web site, he basically took this position: I. Get. It. Ha. Ha.\n\n"It's so new, he may not have figured out what it means yet," his Los Angeles publicist Jeff Duclos said on Tuesday.\n\nThe phenomenon surprised everyone. Norris' series ended in 2001. You see him now on Total Gym infomercials and reruns. He was old news to kids.\n\nThen last summer, Ian Spector - the freshman from Brown - invented his Random Fact Generator. He started with Vin Diesel (www.4Q.cc/vin/) Sample: "When mortals rub two sticks together, we get fire. When Vin Diesel rubs two sticks together, we get Christianity." \n\nIt went over modestly well. Ian asked his Web audience to nominate a successor. Chuck Norris was the overwhelming favorite.\n\n"It exploded," Ian said this week. "Since last summer we've had 50-million hits. We generally get between 500,000 and 800,000 hits a day."\n\nHow come? "It's interesting, most of the people don't know his work, but they know his character," Ian said. "He's cool and calm, but he can kick butt."\n\nThe jokes are anything but ironic or mean-spirited. They celebrate and enlarge the myth, through the demented lenses of teenage boys. Only a 17-year-old computer geek like Ian could have done it.\n\n\n* * * \n\nHigh school girl approaches the front door at Boston Market. Matt likes what he sees.\n\n"Hell-o, hell-o," he says under his breath.\n\nShe orders for her and her mother.\n\nMatt says, "You know why Waldo is hiding all the time? Chuck Norris."\n\nThe girl gives Matt a look. She just read one of these jokes on an away message from a friend. "What is it with Chuck Norris?"\n\nMatt: "Chuck Norris is God."\n\n"Apparently," she says. "I don't know, he's got that funky moustache. It just kind of gives me the willies."\n\n\n* * * \n\nAbout a week ago, Ian Spector looked straight into the flinty eyes of his craggy, but still seismic butt-kicking foil at a casino in Connecticut. You might say Ian was staring into the face of death by karate chop.\n\nIan brought his dad, a business lawyer, to the get-together Norris had requested. Norris ominously brought his own lawyer, plus his business manager, plus his wife.\n\n"It was all a little surreal," Ian said.\n\nNorris may be 65, but "he looked like the kind of guy who could handle a tough guy," Ian said.\n\nAs for Ian, "I'm no eighth-degree black belt by any stretch of the imagination." (Norris is working on his ninth.) Ian looks like what he is, a kid from Rhode Island, stud
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he doesn't chuck was the man in his time and now it's jackies time where did you get your info\n) Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the\n\nprobability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.\n\n2) Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.\n\n3) A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't\n\nyou know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured\n\nthis man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever\n\nsaw, was a fatal roundhouse kick delivered by Chuck Norris.\n\n4) Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.\n\n5) When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and\n\nincludes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck\n\nNorris has not had To pay taxes ever.\n\n6) Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck\n\nNorris.\n\n7) Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is\n\nafraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.\n\n8) As a teen Chuck Norris impregnated every nun in a convent tucked away\n\nin the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to\n\nthe1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in\n\nprofessional football history.\n\n9) A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for\n\nhandicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot\n\nbelongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park\n\nthere.\n\n10) Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't\n\nthe best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as\n\nthe worst mistake anyone has ever made.\n\n11) If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow down.\n\n12) At birth, Chuck Norris came out feet first so he could roundhouse\nkick the doctor in the face. Nobody delivers Chuck Norris but Chuck Norris\nChuck Norris once tried to defeat Jackie Chan in a game of chess. When Norris lost, he won in life by roundhouse kicking Chan in the side of the face.\n\nChuck Norris' roundhouse kick is so powerful; it can be seen from outer space by the naked eye.\n\nChuck Norris doesn't believe in Germany. \n\nChuck Norris can cut onions without crying.\n\nChuck Norris burned down an entire forest when he was experimenting with water.\n\nIf you want a list of Chuck Norris' enemies just check the extinct species list.\n\nChuck Norris has never blinked in his entire life. Never. \n\nChuck Norris can believe it's not butter.\n\nWhen Chuck Norris's wife burned the turkey one thanksgiving, Chuck said, "don't worry about it honey," and went into his backyard. He came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with\ncranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, "Never question Chuck Norris."\n\nWe once had a bachelor party for Chuck Norris. He ate the entire cake before they could tell him there was a stripper in it.
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You know why is zigzags right. you say you don't but you know. \nIts chuck norris bending it before he throws it at people
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Bow down and worship his awesome greatness. Chuck Norris is a God among men and should be revered by all and feared by those who are unworthy of his greatness.
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Yes, I completely agree.  While many present-day comics are entertaining on the SURFACE, they're nowhere near the level of the legends from the past.  I'm no prude, but I get tired of obnoxious 20-something-year-old comedians prancing around on Comedy Central amid a virtual cloud of profanities, as if they thought "talent" was measured by how loud you can be and how many swear words you can use in one minute.  And furthermore, it seems these days that if you're a famous comic, you can do just about anything and the chorus of pancake-faced audience members will just applaud like morons no matter what.  Have you seen "Saturday Night Live" lately?  It's not even funny, but the people tune in to see their favorite stars anyway.\n\nWhile it may sound presumptuous, I feel that standup comedy is dying, or at least for me it is.  These days I find the majority of my entertainment in books, Internet, radio programs, and a select group of TV shows like "The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson" and "The Office."  Comedy needs to get its act together.
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The joke is on us...  now\n\nand it isn't very funny...
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When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesnt get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.\n\nChuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.\n\nSome people like to eat frogs' legs. Chuck Norris likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes.\n\nThere are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.\n\nWhen Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's.\n\nChuck Norris can't finish a "color by numbers" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.\n\nA Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.\n\nWhen Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.\n\nScientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick)\n\nChuck Norris’ house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.\n\nHow much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? ...All of it.\n\nChuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.\n\nIn honor of Chuck Norris, all McDonald's in Texas have an even larger size than the super-size. When ordering, just ask to be Chucksized. \n\nChuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.\n\nIf tapped, a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.\n\nChuck Norris can divide by zero.\n\nThe grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.\n\nA picture is worth a thousand words. A Chuck Norris is worth 1 billion words.\n\nNewton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.\n\nChuck Norris invented his own type of karate. It's called Chuck-Will-Kill.\n\nWhen an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.\n\nWhile urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium.\n\nChuck Norris once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of the war of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography.\n\nWhen Chuck Norris talks, everybody listens. And dies.\n\nWhen Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part.\n\nWilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. Chuck Norris calls this "a slow Tuesday."\n\nContrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Chuck Norris to go around.\n\nChuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.\n\nChuck Norris always knows the EXACT location of Carmen SanDiego.\n\nWhen taking the SAT, write "Chuck Norris" for every answer. You will score over 8000.\n\nChuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.\n\nWhen you're Chuck Norris, anything + anything is equal to 1. One roundhouse kick to the face.\n\nChuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.\n\nOn his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.\n\nNobody doesn't like Sara Lee. Except Chuck Norris.\n\nChuck Norris doesn't throw up if he drinks too much. Chuck Norris throws down!\n\nIn the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "
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Are people so lazy that they cant tell a joke??\nwell heres one about an optimist sardarji. The sardarji became a major in an army and he led the army to the battlefield.Needelss to say they began to lose and one soldier says "sir, we are surrounded on all sides."The ever optimist sardarji replied"look at the positive side boys, we can shoot at any side"lol.dumb joke.
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the joke is pretty dirty. so go to this website\n\nhttp://www.dirtyjokesinc.com/joke-dirty_jokes-14479.htm
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When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.\n\nChuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.\n\nThere is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.\n\nOuter space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.\n\nChuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.\n\nChuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.\n\nChuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.\n\nThere is no chin behind Chuck Norris beard. There is only another fist.\n\nWhen Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.\n\nChuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.\n\nThere is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.\n\nChuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.\n\nChuck Norris doesn't wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.\n\nChuck Norris gave Mona Lisa that smile.\n\nChuck Norris can slam a revolving door.\n\nChuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.\n\nRemember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.\n\nContrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.\n \nThere you have it.