What do you do if you are unhappy in your marriage but afraid to be alone?
82986
separate and get a cat
677909
Honey you are in a dysfunctional relationship and it is time to fish or cut bait. This is not love and you and he will only suffer if you stay together. Most people are so afraid to be alone that they will stay in a bad relationship until it ruins both of your lives. Make clean break and spend at least 6 months and get to know yourself again. My question for you is when was it you decided you weren't worth of better treatment. If he doesn't worship the ground you walk on then it's see ya, wouldn't want to be ya..........
698215
You should go anyway by yourself. It may help you work on ways to bring things up with her. And if what you are trying to do is communicate, the counselor should be able to suggest ways to work on that. If she sees it helping you, she may realize it's a good thing. \n\nHer fear of counseling is not unreasonable. I had a marriage counselor tell me that spouses who want to end their marriage sometimes suggest marriage counseling because it is a "safe" place to dump their spouse, with a counselor to help deal with the fallout.
232276
Try going out and getting friends.  Go to play groups, take your kids to classes, go to the gym or something like that.  ou need a life outside of your marriage.
270723
That's a hard one. I am sure you know that trust is something that has to be earned and built up during the course of a relationship. If you are worried that someone is going to hurt you and let you down like your husband did when he committed suicide, then that is something that you have to learn to deal with. At the end of the day - your husband could have died of natural causes and you could still feel he left you and be hurt.None of us want to be alone, or hurt or have someone make us feel like it was our fault they left because we didn't help them or something like that. I think that what you should do is get out there with your friends for a good few girlie nights out to get yourself back on the scene and having fun - then you can start casually dating here and there, and when you find someone who you have a connection with and you think you could have a future with them, explain your fears to them, and explain that you need someone you can trust not to cut and run, and unless they can be totally honest with you and confide in you when things are tough and trust you enough to be able to help them in their darkest moments, then you can't be with them because you have been through enough!\nI hope that helps!
292186
girl i know exactly how you feel!!!! ive been married 10years and very lonely... dont get discouraged!!! alot of women may have alot of male companions but ask yourself ARE THEY QUALITY MALE COMPANIONS. ive thought about leaving my husband many times, not for any other reason except we have no quality time together.... i stay because i dont want to CATCH anything, if you know what i mean... you can go have fun with friends and eventually youll  find someone. dont go sleeping around either.. ok..
558980
It might not be a bad idea to take as much time as you can afford to get away and go see your family.  Before you go sit him down and explain that you love him but you feel that you are in this marriage by yourself.  Tell him that you are going to take some time away from him and you want him to see how he feels being alone.  Its not a separation per say but some time apart may be beneficial for both of you.  Sometimes people get comfortable in their marriages and take each other for granted.  Perhaps if you weren't there he would realize all he would lose if you divorced him one day.  On the other hand he may not and you need to be prepared for that.  Look at it this way.  I realize that you have 7 years invested in this marriage but there is still time to get out and find someone who appreciates you if you current partner doesn't.  Give him some space but let him know why you are giving it to him.  Let him know that you would like to sit down and talk about both of your feelings when you get back.
174229
you sound just like me. i'm trying to work things out but i know the end result will be me leaving. i just want to be able to say that i gave it my all and totally mean it. sometimes we just outgrow them. have you ever tried to start some sort of hobbie with each other or do a date night? maybe that will get something going for you. i tried that. my husband didnt even care to go through with any of it. he just agreed to it and never did it. i'm writing a book on my horrible marriage. as soon as i get enough crap for my book i'm out. its not worth it to stay.
209688
Talk to your husband about it. Tell him how you feel about the situation and reassure him he's the only one for you.
641183
You know i have been through this situation myself.  I'm not proud.  We just kind of drifted apart after the same amount of time as you, but were only separated for about 2 months.  I really liked the feeling of freedom and meeting other people.  I still think of a certain someone now and then, especially when my husband and i get into arguments about petty stuff.  I think "why did i even come back"?  Then i realize that he has put up with all my crap and it would be so hard to start all over and put effort into a new relationship.  I also think about my kids and in today's society kids need the guidance of both parents.  Anyway, i really do love my husband, it's just sometimes its fun to think of what could have been.  \nI'm not saying all marriages are to stay together for the sake of the children, it's just if you really love each other, you need to try and get passed the other man.\n\nTry to do things with your husband, take time for yourselves.  Go to the movies out to eat, or even spend time at the park with the kids(if it applies).  And just when you feel an argument coming on think and sometimes prayer comes in handy(if you are religious). \n\nGood luck. i wish you the best.
277007
Go to a local marriage counselor.  Do it before the marriage is really in trouble.  Or there may be psychological problems that can not be fixed.  It is great you know he loves you.  Good luck
983837
Find a support system. Though a husband is supposed to be part of it. Get out there and make friends, people who share your interests and viewpoints. On the husband, make mentions of whats going on in your mind. He may feel as insecure as you do about living in this new place and may not know how to comfort you if he cannot do it for himself. Most people keep things inside and queitly seeth. Its rare to find people who can communicate well in a relationship. Find someway to open the lines.
1081449
I WAS married for a long time and it took me a long time to get the strength to leave him. I should of done it sooner. If you are scared find some sort of support group or email me. \nOnce I was away from him, I realized how crazy things and it was way worse then I ever imagined. I believe that marriage is a lifetime commitment. But, it can be broken if things are bad enough.  Find a friend who you can depend on to do what you must do. If you have exhausted all hope of improving things, then you need to gather your wits and be strong and do what you need to do. I stayed way to long and it really harmed my two youngest children. They paid a huge price.
950736
If you are early in your marriage and have no children, end it now. \n\nThere is no reason to make everyone miserable for a lifetime.\n\nIf you have children keep everything as calm and even as possible.  Make your plans ahead of time.  Be ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN to get good representation for the sake of your child or children.  If it is just you, bite the bullet, get out and start over again.
1033687
Hi Hmy ... I read your other questions and it's obvious that you husband isn't monogamous or intends not to stay that way. The only reason why you'd be  putting up with this  is because\nof low self esteem.   You don't think you deserve any better and  are desperate not to be alone.  Perhaps at the moment you don't deserve any better. Think of what you can do to change that.. \n\nMake what ever changes you need to feel better about yourself.  It could be education,  work, even volunteer work. Whatever it is you probally should spend a lot less time here.
644561
You can be alone without being lonely. Learn to be happy with yourself.\nI know from experience.
536149
It doesn't sound a very happy situation to be in.\n\nWhen you married, you made some promises to your wife. They were quite serious ones, and it was a permanent contract. What you think of that is your own affair. I have learned to try not to moralise about what others do because, when it comes down to it, I am no better myself.\n\nI think your first concern should be to write down all the options and find the way that will give all people concerned the most happiness (or the one that will cause the least hurt, if you prefer to look at the negative side of it). \n\nYou must also involve the others somehow. They are also people with as much right as you, if not more, to have feelings, to make a choice and to have a say in things. \n\nIf you are a very brave man, you would meet with everyone involved and discuss your problem with them honestly! A counsellor is useful as a mediator and 'chairman' in meetings like this.\n\nWhatever you do, however, you MUST be honest and open with yourself and everybody else and you MUST communicate. You certainly don't have the right to make decisions for other people, only yourself.\n\nIt's worth bearing in mind that our lovers, friends and acquaintances serve specific purposes in our lives. We tend to make friends - and keep them - for our specific needs. We   nearly all have 'giving' needs as well as 'taking' needs, so the relationships are mutually beneficial.\n\nLove does not always involve jumping into bed with someone (sex is one of our needs, of course, and should be shared with someone we love). I would look very carefully at what it is you feel for this other woman - and what you feel is lacking in your relationship with your wife.\n\nIt's a hard decision and may take a long time to resolve. As long as you think carefully before deciding what to do, consider others' happiness before your own and remember that one can love someone deeply and, perhaps desire them, yet still decide not to follow the whims of Little Willy.\n\nI wish you well.