Muhammad, Budda and Jesus walk into a bar. The bartender ask Jesus............................................
87433
Muslims are just looking for any excuse,doesn't matter what it is,to go out and commit criminal acts.......and they call themselves peaceful and loving......I don't think so.\nDoes anybody have an Islamic flag I can burn?
813097
Reading the story of the Birth of Jesus on Christmas morning from the gospel of Luke, while the fire warms the room and we all eat cinnamon rolls and drink orange juice and coffee. It is a welcome comfort and joy. Before we get into the presents, we get into His Presence.\nGod Bless and Merry Christmas!
624194
Jesus and the Astrologers\n\nA NUMBER of men come from the East. They are astrologers—people who claim to interpret the position of stars. While they were at home in the East, they saw a new star, and they have followed it hundreds of miles to Jerusalem.\n\nWhen the astrologers get to Jerusalem, they ask: “Where is the one born king of the Jews? For we saw his star when we were in the east, and we have come to do him obeisance.”\n\nWhen King Herod at Jerusalem hears about this, he is very upset. So he calls the chief priests and asks where the Christ is to be born. Basing their reply on the Scriptures, they answer: “In Bethlehem.” At that, Herod has the astrologers brought to him and tells them: “Go make a careful search for the young child, and when you have found it report back to me, that I too may go and do it obeisance.” But, actually, Herod wants to find the child to kill him!\n\nAfter they leave, an amazing thing happens. The star they had seen when they were in the East travels ahead of them. Clearly, this is no ordinary star, but it has been specially provided to direct them. The astrologers keep following it until it stops right above the house where Joseph and Mary are staying.\n\nWhen the astrologers enter the house, they find Mary with her young child, Jesus. At that they all bow down to him. And they take out of their bags gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh. Afterward, when they are about to return and tell Herod where the child is, they are warned by God in a dream not to do that. So they leave for their own country by another way.\n\nWho do you think provided the star that moved in the sky to guide the astrologers? Remember, the star did not guide them directly to Jesus in Bethlehem. Rather, they were led to Jerusalem where they came in touch with King Herod, who wanted to kill Jesus. And he would have done so if God had not stepped in and warned the astrologers not to tell Herod where Jesus was. It was God’s enemy, Satan the Devil, who wanted Jesus killed, and he used that star to try to accomplish his purpose. Matthew 2:1-12; Micah 5:2.
1043429
Jesus (pbah) was a man only a man who God chose to bring a message to the people of the world. sadly they got it wrong again. SO he had to send the final massage through Muhammad (pbah)
419762
Two men were drinking in a bar when one looks at the other and asks,\n“What are u drinking?”\nThe second one looks at him and says\n“Magic Beer”\nThe first guy exclaims, “Magic Beer?!?” The second guy says:\n“Yup, I can prove it by jumping off that cliff over there and flying right back up.”\n“Yea right,” Says the first guy. The second guy jumps off and comes back up perfectly unharmed. “Do it again.” The first guy said, and the second guy did it again.\n“Well, Im drunk enough to try.” He said. The first guy takes a sip of the Magic Beer and jumps off and falls to his death. The bartender just looks at the second guy and says:\n”You know, you can be real mean when your drunk Superman.”
1108847
Many people  to accept Jesus.
729673
An Irish man walks into a pub. The bartender asks him, "what'll you have?"\nThe man says, "Give me three pints of Guinness please."\nSo the bartender brings him three pints and the man proceeds to alternately sip one, then the other, then the third until they're gone. He then orders three more.\nThe bartender says, "Sir, I know you like them cold. You don't have to order three at a time. I can keep an eye on it and when you get low I'll bring you a fresh cold one."\nThe man says, "You don't understand. I have two brothers, one in Australia and one in the States. We made a vow to each other that every Saturday night we'd still drink together. So right now, my brothers have three Guinness Stouts too, and we're drinking together.\nThe bartender thought that was a wonderful tradition.\nEvery week the man came in and ordered three beers. Then one week he came in and ordered only two. He drank them and then ordered two more.\nThe bartender said to him, "I know what your tradition is, and I'd just like to say that I'm sorry that one of your brothers died."\nThe man said, "Oh, me brothers are fine----I just quit drinking."
74522
a nurse walks into a bar, with a parrot on her shoulder, and the bartender says "hey, where did you get that?" and the parrot says, "in the hospital there is a million of them"     a person from Africa walks into a bar with a parrot on their shoulder, and the bartender says "hey where did you get that?"
687589
They all mean the same :Jesus!
109406
Allah is not jesus. Islam believes Jesus was a prohphet. And yes he was meant to die. Plain and simple.
1050965
So a duck walks into a bar and asks the bar man "you got a grape?". The man replies "sorry but we don't sell grapes", the duck sighs and walks out.\n\nThe next day the duck returns back to the pub and asks the same question, "you got a grape?", the bar man replies "i told you yesterday that we don't sell grapes here, now get lost". So the duck turns and walks out!\n\nThe following day the duck enters the bar again, but before he can ask his question the bar man shouts at him "if you ask me for a grape again i will nail your beak to the bar, you got that?".\n\nThe duck looks up at him and says "got any nails?", "no" replies the bar man.\n\nThe duck pauses, "you got a grape?"
919040
Jesus (God, the Son) said "Behold, I stand at the door and knock, if anyone open the door (and invite Me in) ...."\n\nSo, he does not force Himself in; rather, He waits to be invited.
513568
Well its interesting question. I just put down my binoculars. Jesus was actually talking to a TV mechanic as his set had some problems and so he wanna make everything perfect before the world cup soccer. Mohammed was quite chilled upset with his followers for messing up all he taught them, he was frantically pacing up and down and pondering how to handle this, Buddha as usual is looking around amusingly at other gods around him and wondering why they all look so hassled, And Satan- wow he looked cool in his new shades and his new IPod, he was in the pool with sexy babes and clelebrating his fast popularity amongst earthlings
307098
Yes! I would also send out someone to pick up some food because there are so many disciples today! I love the word of God! The Good News! Jesus died not only for me but you and the rest of the world! Hosanna to the Highest! I would welcome anyone with open arms though!
298006
Ask God sweetheart he will lead you truth is Jesus is real no man come to the father except through him there are alot of muslims accepting jesus you're not the only one.god bless
697761
For jesus\n\n003.003 \nYUSUFALI: It is He Who sent down to thee (step by step), in truth, the Book, confirming what went before it; and He sent down the Law (of Moses) and the Gospel (of Jesus) before this, as a guide to mankind, and He sent down the criterion (of judgment between right and wrong). \n\n003.045 \nYUSUFALI: Behold! the angels said: "O Mary! Allah giveth thee glad tidings of a Word from Him: his name will be Christ Jesus, the son of Mary, held in honour in this world and the Hereafter and of (the company of) those nearest to Allah; \n\n003.059 \nYUSUFALI: The similitude of Jesus before Allah is as that of Adam; He created him from dust, then said to him: "Be". And he was. \n\n033.007 \nYUSUFALI: And remember We took from the prophets their covenant: As (We did) from thee(muhammad): from Noah, Abraham, Moses, and Jesus the son of Mary: We took from them a solemn covenant: \n\n002.253 \nWe have made some of these messengers to excel the others among them are they to whom Allah spoke, and some of them He exalted by (many degrees of) rank; and We gave clear miracles to Isa son of Marium, and strengthened him with the holy spirit. And if Allah had pleased, those after them would not have fought one with another after clear arguments had come to them, but they disagreed; so there were some of them who believed and others who denied; and if Allah had pleased they would not have fought one with another, but Allah brings about what He intends. \n\nMuhammad\n002.004 \nYUSUFALI: And who believe in the Revelation sent to thee, and sent before thy time, and (in their hearts) have the assurance of the Hereafter\n\n002.147 \n It is the Truth from thy Lord (O Muhammad), so be not thou of those who waver. \n\n\n010.104 \n Say: O people! if you are in doubt as to my religion, then (know that) I do not serve those whom you serve besides Allah but I do serve Allah, Who will cause you to die, and I am commanded that I should be of the believers\n\n009.065 \n If thou dost question them, they declare (with emphasis): "We were only talking idly and in play." Say: "Was it at Allah, and His Signs, and His Messenger, that ye were mocking?" \n\n009.128 \nYUSUFALI: Now hath come unto you a Messenger from amongst yourselves: it grieves him that ye should perish: ardently anxious is he over you: to the Believers is he most kind and merciful\n\n016.039 \n (They must be raised up), in order that He may manifest to them the truth of that wherein they differ, and that the rejecters of Truth may realise that they had indeed (surrendered to) Falseho\n\nits huge search as have to see the whole site, but it may help u to some extend i guess
787420
A priest, a pedophile and a homosexual go into a bar - he orders a beer ...