My Girlfriend and I are both widowers, we find such solace in each other?
86252
You are both obviously old enough to run your own lives.  As long as you two are both happy the other people in your lives will just need to learn to deal with it.  It is never easy for people to watch the survivor move on but how they deal with it is their choice and not something you can control.  Everyone deserves to be happy and you both have been lucky enough to find each other so don't let anything or anyone get in your way.
541936
you are the only one that can answer that. how do you feel about each other and do you trust,and have faith in your relationship to go on with    what is ahead of you.and you love each other
571731
Yes, I am! Thank you for asking and hoping that you are happy with your life too.\nWhy? \nIt's because I have the husband who loves me more each day we live, his patience and understanding are boundless regardless of my own flaws. We have the families who are close to us, mothers and sister and brother whom we know we'll always be close with and be there for us in anything we do, in happiness and trials of life and for that alone, they're all precious to us and happiness one feel given this gift of harmonious relationship is priceless.\nI have my best friends whom I know, no distance could come in between our friendship and as they treasure our memories, so do I.\nFor all the things in life that are being bless to me each day, my love ones are the ones I treasured the most. With them, I am myself and knows that I am accepted and love no matter what I had done and for that "happiness is priceless."
1146702
The idiots always tend to answer first.  \n\nLife WILL get better.  I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your wife.  Speaking from some experience, I am "seeing" a widower who was married to his wife for 20-something years.  I did not know him or her when they were married and it will be one year this month since she passed away and he has two teenage children.\n\nIt will be hard and it will probably get harder for you as holidays come and go but you have to hang in there.  You should be so thankful that you met the love of your life, many of us never get that chance.  My guy never thought he would be with another woman, never wanted to.  It is still difficult for him at times and I have difficulty dealing with it at times too.  He pulls away from me to deal with it and I kind of freak out (read my posted questions).  He tells me that it is kind of hard for him to believe that his marriage is over and he sometimes feels like he is cheating.  Give it time.  Time is the only thing that will heal your pain.  Hang in there and live life for that baby of yours, she needs you to be happy.  If you need to talk, feel free to contact me - I kind of understand.
1137588
Happened with me when I lay dying, I could understand from the doctors faces and their body language that they had given up. My wife held my hand, kissed me on my forehead and said, "Don't worry, you'll be fine."\nFour years later, I am still alive, only because of this strong woman's reassurance at every stage during my illness and recovery. And she never cried, never shed a tear at all in my presence or in my children's presence, always showing a brave, smiling face to us.\n\nAt one stage when my heart had stopped, and I found myself in a large open field with sunflowers, and I saw a bright warm and welcoming light towards which I was moving, until the doctors revived me, the first person I saw was my wife.\n \nThat smile, the strength, that reassurance and confidence are the nicest things that have ever happened to me.\nst
297786
There is no "simple" answer for this one because it's a complicated life issue. For example, there are two other concerns you (and your former lady, too) may have easily overlooked.\n\nOne, although opposites attract in trelationshipg, it is "like-minded" people who experience longevity. Meaning, unless a person is like you, at the core, too many differences will need to be overcome. Eventually such a relatinship finds its natural path toward separation.\n\nIt does not seem that you and your lady are actually and really, two "compatible" personalities.\n\nTwo, regardless of the above, it still stands to reason that it takes an "inwardly happy" person to be able to appreciate and share the happiness of someone else. That is, you attract only what you are inside.\n\nFor example, it seems that you showed your lady in the beginning that you were not completely happy with "yourself." Upon her seeing this, she decides that it is truly better to be without you.\n\nIf you really want to get her back, and keep her, and do it all "successfully and happily," you must enhance your own inner self-contentment.\n\nHow do you achieve that? It's your decision, but you must do it because your peace of mind depends upon it.\n\nOne suggestion is "self-talk." That is, asking yourself bottom-line questions about what truly makes you happy... and developing the courage to follow up, even when the answer is "not" a positive one.\n\nOne of the very best ways to "give" happiness, is to "be" a a truly happy person, satisfied both with your talents and your inadequacies, as well, but still content with peace of mind, no jealousy, no envy, no resentment, and especially, not feeling sorry for yourself.\n\nIt truly sounds like, at that time, you were just too self-absorbed with your own problems, to be able to really appreciate her and give yourself to her without reservation on your part.\n\nIt's never too late to be a better person. And, once she recognizes this quality in you, she will want you more.\n\nHopefully, she will still be available for you, once you arrive at this point. However, even if she is not, you can take such wisdom and peace with you, wherever you go, and it sill boost your relationship's happiness in almost any circumstances.\n\nHope you find this helpful.
478691
My best friend aka My wife. When you you find that person even bad days have silver linings.
613573
First let me say that I am very proud of you to serve our country! To answer your question, if BOTH people are willing to try then anything is possible! BOTH of you though need to feel very strongly about this. You need to sit down together somewhere comfortable and just talk to each other. Be very positive and willing to express your feelings as well as listening to hers. If you can do this and you BOTH feel the same way, you can get back what you first saw in eachother.\nGood luck!
211836
Enjoy the time you have with her and make the next three months unforgettable!  You both need to accept the fact that she is dying and get past this as soon as possible.  Then all you need to do is enjoy each other as much as possible.  Always remember that knowing the situation, puts the two of you in a very unique position.  You don't ever have to say that you wished you would have said or done something when you had the chance.  You have that chance and that chance is now!!! Use it to your full advantage!
445399
I choose an answer, but I also understand where you are coming from.  What I hope will give you comfort is the knowledge they side with their spouse in order not to be divided.  (a united front and all)
307085
Is there a COMMITMENT? More importantly,is there a mutual LOVE/RESPECT between you/them?...Do you both go out of your way to please the other over your own neeeds?--if not,you will not be happy...love is a "self-LESS" concern for the other.It's the only real source of happiness...I wish you nothing but love!!.......Phantom of the Love
958219
I do, my dear, I do. It isn't as lonely as one might think, just therapeutic. One can't help but long for another's, however.
1058963
Now my spouse makes me feel complete. It only took 30 years. All I can say is you have to compromise. If you fight, you can't leave , you can ignore each other until everything cools down. I watched my sibblings leave their spouses time and time again, they always went back. That was time wasted. Work things out. There are no 2 people perfectly compatable. You have to work at it. Even now , we are not even 80% compatable, but there was no way, even 10 years ago that I was gonna start over. You probably found the right person, but how would you know , now? Good luck.
41429
Your partner might feel the same way.  Don’t be afraid.  Try to have a leave headed discussion.  Don’t drag in past fights.  Be fair, let them know you still care but that you are suffering and you know they are too.  You want them to be happy and you want happiness for yourself.  I hope this helps.
197151
Well, i can't deny that even I reflect on my past relationship's. I find myself smiling when I remember things my 2nd X hubby used to do to cheer me up.  We were the best of friends. Always joking around, It just didn't work out and we agreed to end it together, cried about it together, but he was honest that he had hurt me too many times and I had grown bitter. But, we were honest about all. My present hubby doesn't lack in this department. Just sometimes a song will come and  a memory will flash , but that is all that is, I am in love with my present Hubby.  Our lives have chapters in them, we can't erase history in our lives, we are bound to remember or reflect (not compare). Just as long as he isn't remembering during intimate times, there should not be anything to worry about.
183285
doing whatever we both enjoy doing like going to a movie or something like that, though i wouldn't mind doing nothing at all as long as i would be spending time with the person i care about, unfortunately that part of my life if a void...
1074495
Sad to hear this. I know the feeling of giving your all to that one girl you truly love. I believe you that it is far more than sex...it's love and companionship. It's that wonderful feeling that you have when you're with her whether in silence or not. The sad part is that she avoids discussing things to questions you deserve answers to.\n\nAt your age, I bet the feeling must be harder. I don't think no answer can quench your thirst but her honesty to why things can't be the same again.\n\nWhen did things started to change? Look back to what you might have done wrong or probably she is not really serious about spending her life with you.  A lot of times, we got to accept the hard facts that things are beyond our control and we have no choice but to accept and move on. \n\nWhat can we do with the pain but acknowledge it and eventually accept and carry on with our lives. Things might not be the same again but surely one day, you'll fall in love over again when you least expect. \n\nGood luck. This stage is hard but things will change, don't let this destroy your life.