Married went home to have baby when I came back things were strange fights etc he wont give me $ or respect?
94389
If he cant tell you that he loves you then there's a huge problem. Coz he shd be able to tell u he wants to save the marriage coz he doesnt want to live without you!
174157
This may not have occurred to you but you should consider it:\na lot of men feel pressure after they have children, buy homes ect. to maintain the same lifestyle as before and in his eyes he may be diong the extra time at work for YOU and your child, he most likely feels that it is His responsability to take care of you and to provide for you so you should remember that if this is his mind set he may feel that it is a sacrifice he is making for his family.\nyou absouloutly need to keep that in mind and sit down together and talk to him about it, tell him that you know he might feel pressure to take care of you and your child or children,  and that it isn't that you don't appricate his efforts , it is just that you miss your time together and as important as the finances may be, that you would prefer adjusting your lifestyle to less money than to adjust to having him away so often.\nthis will put thing in a way he will find eaiser to understand and he will not feel nagged or threatened.
824942
IF only there were more guys out there like you.  Most guys would just pick their own kid up and leave.  You did the right and the honorable thing.  Her husband is ticked off because he can not be the man and take care of what he needs too.  He is mad also because he knows what you did is the right thing and he can not admit to it.  Your child should not be in a home without heat and food.  Talk to your ex about this...and make it clear it will not happen again.  If you must, get the authorities involved.  Children should not suffer because their lame dad wants to spend all the money on stupid stuff.
796513
Think she only wants you back because she knows your a respectable guy and you will help her raise her baby.  Sorry guy I would say no!
738259
I responded to your first question..but Ill say it again. Talk to him nicely and find out what the underlying issue is. I really think it is more than money. He resents you for something that may or may not have nothing to do with money. Sounds like the overall relationship is not so healthy. It may be time to move on. Do you have a family member to move in with. If you really want to try to make it work...see a counselor-but start with talking to him yourself. He might open up to you and tell you why he doesnt want to help you out.  Good luck.
857099
If you trully believe 100% that this man is the father of your child then whatever happens I would make him pay!\n\nHunt him down, drag him through the courts and make the bastard pay for his child.\n\nHe can move to Timbuctoo if he likes, I would still make him pay. he can deny responsibility and say he's not the father as much as he likes, but I'd still make him pay. This man is threatening to move/demand DNA tests to intimidate you- he's trying to discredit you as a woman not to mention what he's doing to his child and thats very unfair. Why should you care what happens to someone who stoops as low as this? Why should you care if he struggles or not- He is in the wrong not you! \n \nI'm sure you don't want or need his money but that is not the point. He has a responsibility to this child and even if he refuses to accept he has a moral duty of care (which is very convenient don't you think?) he certainly has a financial responsibility which he should not be allowed to walk away from.\n\nIf I were you, I would demand that he TAKE his DNA test- let him prove that he IS the father of your child and allow him to look like the complete heartless arsehole he really is- What have you got to lose honey?\n\nRemember- you are the one holding the baby, you are the one who is facing up to the loving responsibility of being a good mother and you are the only one who can hold this man accountable for his actions.\n\nSorry, but I do not agree that ANY man who has children should be allowed to simply walk away from their legal responsibilities.\nNever mind the fathers rights- what about the rights of their child? \n\nHunt him down- get everything- make him pay and if you really don't need the money, then put it in trust for your son so that he can use it when he is older.\n\nThere is no shame in making this man pay.. after all he felt no shame in sleeping with you to create a life- he must now be held accountable for his actions!\n\nPlease don't let him away with this- you have the right to be able to life your life and bring up your son with a decent standard of living-the money will help.\nI think that you have had a very lucky escape- Men like this are the scum of the earth and you deserve better!\n\nGood luck.
245253
Well apparently he didn't care about his child in the first place. There is no need for having a pitty party for him now that he's not on his feet and stable so therefore i think you should collect your child support and run wiith it because in the long run that maybe all you ever get. If he can pay the phone bill to stay in touch with his online female friends then he can pay his child support.
674263
He thinks of u as his, like ur his property, u have to make up ur mind do u what him back or do u what to move on with your life. I'd say girl ur much better than just being a baby momma. I don't know you but ur God's creations so he has plans for you. He has no right to tell you what u can or cannot do, just like u can't tell him what to do. I say he wants you and he wants his freedom, that's nice and all but it's not ur problem. I say do what makes you feel happy, and whatever you do, do it for you and your baby and he'll be eating out of your hand. When you feel happy and confident it shows and men love confident women. BE INDEPENDENT
719279
Start respecting yourself more than that!!!!! This man is paying you for services. kick him to the curb. If was giving you money to help you out he wouldn't want to sleep with you. Pay him back when you get on your feet and find someone who respects you. Don't let a man use you like that.
479043
sorry don't know an answer to this but I just wanted to say my heart goes out to you. I have a prem baby and I know how financially draining it can be. \nHas your wife tried appealing to this guys better nature by explaining the situation to him and asking if there is a compromise you could come to?
515552
I would not be nice to these men anymore.. if they dont respect your marriage they do not respect you. Tell them to F oof and leave you alone. Heidi
832716
he will never know the true u, he has a preconcieved idea of who he thinks u are, based on his own belief system, and his thinking. life is way to short to put up with a man who treats u as he does. sounds almost as if he don't really want to be there that maybe he would rather be somewhere else. he doesn't value you, if he did he would treat you better. if u have spoken to him and told him how u feel and still he continues to treat you like this, maybe it's time to get out of the marriage, and quit kidding yourself. when we get hurt it takes awhile to forgive and get over a trust issue, one can't just go back as they were. maybe it's time to make some changes for yourself, and decide if your really happy in this relationship. sounds as if you depend on him financially and need to stay for that reason, but that's never a good reason to stay with an angry hurtful person. sounds as if he hates himself, and maybe he has someone else in his life.
396600
may be he was tired from work.. talk to him, and work it out...you're getting married for goodness sakes!! Those are tiny problems compared to what you will be facing in a married life...
763380
My wife was good at manipulating me when I believed what she said.  Now I don't put any value in anything she says and the funny thing is WE are happier.\n\nA while back we seperated (she was having an affair).  She said she wanted to be fair so I took the word "fair" to heart.  She moved out so I took over all the house hold bills because I was using everything, but her student loans, her car payments were hers.  We also consolidated our debt and she paid me half to which promptly paid.  She had access on the internet to see it was paid every month and never late.  So things seem fair right?\n\nI don't need much free spending cash to get by so all the sudden I had more money than I needed.  My wife however, had to pay a seperate rent and other bills so her cash flow was pretty low.  She then said we should go into mediation and discuss child support.  She already said that she didn't want allimony.  Now I don't go into negotiations blind so I read up on child support.  As we were waiting to meet the person who would mediate my wife & I she was telling my how money was so tight.    \n\nWhen we actually meet with the mediator I took charge saying that I just want to make sure what we were doing is "fair".  Then I Iaid out how we had already divided up the bills and that my wife did not want allimony.  The mediator agreed everything seemed fair.  Now my wife brought up child support and restating she didn't want allimony.  I then pulled out what I had learned that in the state I lived in child support was a simple mathematical calculation based on the percent of time each parent had the children.  The look on my wife's face was priceless when I told her from what I found she would have to pay ME childsupport.  My wife grabbed those papers so quick I almost laughed.  The mediator glanced at them and said if the numbers where right then I was correct.  The look on my wife's face was priceless and I think this was also the same time she started to realized that the fantasy life she was hoping to have was never going to happen.  \nI left the meeting feeling happy that my life could only get better.  I continued seeing a few new friends with benefits for a six months or so and my wife found out that her lover was not as stable financially as she thought.  We did get back together, but I always try to be fair.
246861
your husband sounds like a loser\ni think you need to leave him for someone who will come home to you
848185
sounds to me that hes hurt about you moving on....... find a new sitter and tell him if he cant call and be nice ,, dont call back ..... the fact is that he is the father and will be in your life but for your babys good you need to work out some reasoning with him
187308
You didn't metion your ages.  So, I'm going to say that if you are under 18 and in school.  Stay in school including if it is college.  Think about how this baby will change your life as well as his.  I think he got real scared and didn't know what to do.  I would wait on marriage.  By the way you wrote it.  I don't think you "two" are ready for marriage.  If you are pregnant, you should talk to your parents and with him to his.  Parents might pressure you into marriage.  Mine did.  And I got divocere anyway.  Because my ex didn't want to support us. \n\nYou can go to the health department for free testing by blood.  Or parent planning clinic.  As them for information on adoptation or abortation.  The choice is both that you "two" have to make for the best for you and the baby.\n\nAs for the money, that is one issue in your relationship.  Are there other's that you haven't looked at?  I would talk to him and tell him how hurt you are by his actions over the money to find out about being pregnant.  Then see where you are in the relationship.  And go from there.