helping a familymember get help she is confuesed talks to herself believes people hide in walls wander HOTSHOT
79140
Call your local Crisis Hotline. They will be able to guide you.
547023
Yeah ur right but u know some ppl ought to shut up and watch u ..to see if u can do whatever without help. Learn to step back and let other ppl do things too. Had a mother in law that just had to tell me what to do every second she was around me. drove me nuts. So i told her to have at it and step back. That shut her up.
254560
It seems to me that this person has a lot of faith and trust in you if they have confided in you. Also if they have come to you they are really reaching out for help. I would look in your phone book under drug abuse and call the hot line and ask them what you should do. They are usually well trained volunteers that will be able to give you advice on how to approach this personality type without scaring them away.
896858
Dear Mam, I was in a similar situation. I was in another state on top of it. He controlled everything, even the phone. When I got on he had to control the conversation, so my family quit calling. I was with him for 17 years.Because I was afraid of him. Now that is probably what is wrong with her, FEAR. He has probably threatened her and she feels she has no way out. Plus if you were close to her, dont you think she knows too? I missed my mom  sooo bad. Well she passed away before I got to see her after 2 years. He would never let me go visit any of my family alone so I feel for her. I don't believe that she knew what she was getting into. I didn't. He changed after we married.\nMy advise to you is wait and be patient. Believe me its killing her as much as you. To not see her mom I'm sure is hurting her. New Baby?\n She either keeps her mouth shut or they fight alot. Either way there will be heartbreak. Too bad you couldn't find a way to get her out of there but you see when you have more than what you grew up with, its hard to leave. Your daughters husband is nothing but an insecure bully that feels he has power over her. Makes him feel like a big man when you and I both know he's a very small man. Just has a loud voice and knows how to use his power.\nI too couldn't go anywhere with out my husband, he timed me when I went in the store, questioned me as to why it took so long and who was I talking to. He controlled the finances, He told my kids when and where they could go and who they could see and how long, that included church activities. I finally left after much proding from my church friends, 17 yrs later. I know exactly what is going on. I pray that she will come to her senses before that. I'm sure he is telling her that no one else will give her what he has and no one will love her either. Also He is probably demeaning her to keep her down and that she will have no friends no family or self esteem. So she will feel no one will want her so why leave? That is why I never left. I believed him! Why should'nt I? He was my husband and he would not hurt me. Trust me this man is a monster. He is narcisstic, anti social, among other things. \nTry putting an ad in the paper, classified, saying only what she will know. Maybe something can generate from that. Sounds horrible but it may be the only way. If she can't use her phone that will be very difficult to contact you. He keeps track of the phone records too. Believe me this guy is a scarey person.\nSorry this is so long, but there was alot to say. \nJust remember IF you reach her, let her know how much you love her NO MATTER WHAT.
1124195
From my experience, it is normal for someone to start to distance themselves from those close to them when they admit that they have some kind of problem with substance abuse.  Usually, after people get to the point that they decide to get help themselves or are forced to get help, they feel quite a bit of shame because they are afraid of people looking down on them because they know, especially if they've been keeping it a secret.  If you just be patient with him, he will probably come around, but it is really nothing unusual.
1118674
yeah she sounds EXACTLY like me. you cant really do anything. she has to do something for herself. so many times people tried to save me, but they didnt understand that we have to save ourself. she has to cope with it, learn how to understand it or avoid it. all you can do to help is be there for her, get her away from her mom as much as possible. find the things that make her happy and pretty just drown her in them. let her know you care and your there for her. dont force her to open up to you, or force her to stop doing what shes doing. she wont listen. you have to help her want to get better.
906570
Oh Kirk - you need to get out of there as soon as you can.  You deserve better.  There is help and support out there. No one has the right to treat you like that.  Are there any agencies you could contact ? And please contact your mom or another close relative or someone you feel you can trust.  I guess you much feel totally alone and scared and adults have not exactly been a source of trust for you.  Believe me you need to get out.  I wish I could help  I truly do.  I am in Scotland.  I am not surprised that you feel so bad about your life.  IT IS NOT your fault please believe that.  Contact someone and get yourself to safety.
748246
A mental asylum seeker maybe?
465252
You have to make sure that they know you are there for them and you need to let them know that it's not an ok thing to do. Convince them that they need to stop and get help. You have to be there for them and support them in everything. Anything else? e-mail me at mowel3point@yahoo.com!
507651
get help from someone you trust and can talk to.if it carries on get help from someone proffesional
592607
You can not help her. She has got to help herself. I have been down that road before. Believe me it is difficult. Sometimes we want to save someone it makes us feel good. But trust me the lies are just starting. Get out before you get hurt to bad.
106201
the one that get abuse are scare to tell someone.
888339
Maybe she feels threatened that you are entering the family and may take her place so she wants to make sure you know she is on the inside and you are not.  Maybe she was caught up in the emotion of the event and never meant to hurt your feelings. Depends on the sister-in-law.
496824
I REALLY UNDERSTAND YOUR POINT, IT IS VERY SAD TO HEARD ABOUT IT, BECAUSE OF PEOPLE LIKE THEM OTHER HAVE TO PAID THE CONSEQUENCES, THIS PERSON DO NOT THINK ABOUT OTHERS THEY ARE SELFISH, THEY MIGHT BE SOMEONE IN REAL NEED. WHY YOU DON'T TELL THEM THAT IT IS WRONG? THINGS ARE NOT ALWAYS GOOD. AND WHEN THEY REALLY NEED THE HELP, THAT HELP WON'T BE THERE, IF HER BOYFRIEND HAS A GOOD JOB AND HELP TAKE IT. AND HELP THE COUSIN WITH MONEY, TO SELL HOT DOG, SOMETHING LIKE THAT. BUT DO NOT TAKE ADVANTAGE AND PRETEND TO BE A SINGLE MAM. SHE IS SCANNING THE SYSTEM (WIC) BELIEVE! DON' YOU SEE IT?
369411
Running Away?\n\nSometimes in life anyone of us may want to run away and solve our problems by leaving them behind. The facts are that our problems are following us, unless we solve them.\n\nWhatever it is that happens in your family and makes you feel like running away, it may be something you can help to solve.\n\nWhy not call a family conference. Write or print out the rules and give them to everyone in the family. Find a time when everyone living in the house can attend.\n\nRules may be:\n1 One person speaks at a time (you may even use a talking stick as the Native Americans do. The one who holds the rod, speaks, the others listen).\n2 Everyone may state the facts of how he or she feels within this family. This is expressed by, "When you say this, I feel like ..." Not, "You always do, or say..." This is accusation and should be avoided.\n3 Everyone may state their wishes.\n4 Everyone may state something positive about the others.\n5 Everyone who has a solution may say so.\n6 Only when everyone has been heard, a common and may be temporary solution may be formulated that pleases everyone somehow and should be agreed to by everyone living in the house.\n\nRegular family conferences should be held, at least once a week and whenever there is a conflict.\n\nYou may be surprised how bad others in the family feel about the present situation. The family conference may start to clear issues so that everyone in the house may feel better, more loved and appreciated. \n\nYou may want to try to help your family have a happier family life. If you cannot get through to them you may want to talk to/call a counselor or a married priest.\n\nWishing you a happy family life which you and everyone in your family deserves!\nCordially, India.Magica
990629
she needs counseling. go together if you can.
1138406
Talk to her and give her a deadline. Tell her that she needs to move by a certain day, no exceptions! If it doesn't work, remove all of her personal belongings and deliver them to her mother. \nBy reading what you have typed, sounds like you are the type of person who gives in easily to others distress. She needs to understand that you will not take any excuses. Sometimes tough love is just what people need.\nIt is hard to advise on this because we who reply do not know the full situation.\nMaybe the person you are helping is a moocher. Maybe she's afraid to move in with her mother. Without knowing the person's age and situation, it is hard to say whether this person needs a reality check, or compassion.