why doesn't my grown son accept my boyfreind when i was treated abusivly by his dad my ex?
93857
Probally because it's not his father..some kids never like seeing there parents split up. And if they saw the abuse refuse to accnoledge it for what it was..all you can do is give him time.
374737
It sounds like you guys could use some family therapy.\n\nIt also sounds like maybe your husband and older son don't really understand your younger son's disability. I wonder if maybe they have been too lazy to learn more about it. Either way, their behavior towards your younger son is unacceptable. What they are doing to him amounts to bullying, pure and simple. Stand up for your younger son, and let your husband and older son know that their behavior will not be tolerated.
373113
You need to encourage your husband to repair the relationship with his son as well.  It's true that your son isn't a child, but that doesn't make it hurt any less that his father betrayed you- especially if he doesn't like the way your husband has treated you in the past.  I'm assuming since your son is 30+ and your Christian that you've been married for a long time- he might have different views over how his father treats you, talks to you, etc....  You also have to remember that your son caught him in the act, in the family home.  That's another betrayal right there- all the family holidays, all the memories he has have been tainted by his fathers act.  It also might make him question his ability to be a good husband or father if he's been using your marriage/relationship as a role model on how to do it right in this day and age.  \n\nHave lunch with your son, one on one, and explain to him that he's entitled to his anger, but that he does love his father- and if you can forgive him and try to work through things then in his own time, he has too also.  Encourage your husband to reach out to him, and keep at it until your son comes around.  Y'all are family- deal with it!  Good luck.
733099
sounds like the two of you have grown apart. to keep a relationship strong, you have to spend time together and he needs to spend time with his son as well. I'm sorry for your situation but if this continues, maybe you need to move on and find someone who will put you and your son's feelings first. love is putting the other person first.
259264
Yep, go back to court and seek a custody modification granting you sole physical and joint legal custody... You probably won't win, but it will bring the problem to the attention of the courts and a judge will explain to him that visitation is not "His privilege" it is his duty and the children's right....and lays a groundwork for future modification if he does not straighten up.\nGood luck.
1047167
You said this just started and for no apparent reason. Maybe it is just that you have no clue to the reasoning behind it. I am not saying he is justified in treating you like crap or doing things in front of the children that he shouldn't but there has to be a reason for it. Have you tried asking him what is going on. Maybe something has happened and for what ever reason he can't or doesn't know how to share this with you so in turn his actions is a result of what ever is really bothering him. You have made it clear you won't put up with this so stress this to him again that if he can't share with you what is going on you can't try to help him with it but that he isn't going to take it out on you either. He needs to make the choice as to what to do and then you can choose what to do based on how he feels. I really feel for you hun as something happened to my ex husband and he thought he would become physical with me until I told him he would die before he hit me again and of course the final results was I left. I couldn't fix something that I had no clue as to what was going on and I was not going to be hit on or abused in any other way either. I hope he comes around before you leave him but do what is best for you and the children hun!!.
787612
I would think any child that is not you sons would be hard to accept. If they are back together tell him how you feel and have him talk to her. If he wont talk to her then you tell her and tell her that you will not be a part of this child's life if she doesn't stop acting this way. If they are not together then you don't need to accept the child and it doesn't need to be in your life. Sorry to say it that way but it is true. Also I think once you see that beautiful baby it wont matter anymore. GOOD LUCK.
491373
Wow. That is really unfortunate.\n\nYou probably won't like to hear this but probably the best thing is to leave your son alone and move on with your own life. I would still contact him in non-interfering ways such as to say happy birthday and maybe send him a christmas card and such. Start to slowly rebuild the relationship in this way.\n\nI imagine that there is a long term reason for some anger between you. Unless he is willing to go for some joint counselling the only thing that you can hope for is that time time will soften his stand. This assumes of course, that you can be nice to him, even if you're upset about the situation. I really don't see anything positive coming out of forcing the sitaution. You are competing with the child's parents and that is a no win situation.\n\nGood luck.
717571
what an idiot.... he is hanging on to unresolved issues.. probably that you moved on and lived great without him.. He's a bully, and he no longer, and hasnt for ages had any hold on you, but being a bully, still feels the need to hurt you, IGNORE HIM at your sons graduation, he dosnt exist, its a shame you have to be at the same venue, at the same time, maybe just a nod in acknowledgement, nothing more, dont, for gods sake get into a convo with him, he will try and bring you down, cause he's still an arsehole, and that will make him the WINNER, cause his bullying has worked again... so IGNORE HIM....please
577816
I will tell you something personal. I have a 3 yr. old son. I am divorced, I miss my son very, very much. I cry each nite that I cannot be with him. His mother is court ordered to let me have him each weekend for 3 days. Everytime I go to get him, she is gone. I have given up hope. I know he is still young but I know he knows his dad and loves me very much. He will find me someday.
412186
Apparently talking and being nice and putting up with him, doesnt work. Maybe you should get the police to ask him to leave. Or you could throw his stuff out, not sure if you could get a restraining order- if you can go for it! It's quite evident that he's brining you nothing but hurt. Make a stand now for you and your kids.\nThe sooner he is out, the better you will be able to get on with your life. Once that's done, for GOD's SAKE, DONT LOOK BACK!
855017
He's obviously an @ss, I would get some psychological help for your son as soon as possible so he doesn't end up with abandonment issues and blaming himself for his biological (only) father not wanting to see him. Good riddance to him, sorry for you and your son.
377724
Nasty problem that you will not be able to solve. Your ex sound bitter and bound and determined to punish you for something or other. Unfortunately, all you can do is remain constant in your affection for them, and hopefully, with time, they will see things as they really are...no guarantees...they may or may not turn against you ... time will tell. But, no matter what you do, what you say, if it is negative towards their mother, they will swear their mother is right. IF, on the other hand, you are sympathetic towards the mother's plight, do not bad mouth her, and, in gereneral, behave nobly, your chances are slightly improved that they will come around. Been there. IT is a very sad thing when one parent uses children to "get even" with another...all concerned are badly damaged, including the offending parent...but that is of no consolation to you. You have my deepest sympathy in this...I have seen this happen time and time again. Such a waste, and seriously sad. You are in a loose-loose situation, short of gaining custody ... and that won't happen unless you can prove she is unfit as a parent. Good luck.
605242
Honestly, It needs to come from YOUR heart...not ours.  I'm sure if you take the time to really think about it, you will work it out.  My brother used to abuse me horribly...the best apology I ever got was the day he grew up and stopped.  Tell your brother you love him and that you will never do it again. You and your brother should have a beautiful bonding relationship....as I see in my two boys.
295952
14 is a hard age to understand.  But, if he has know your fiancee all these years I think he should know who is best for his mother.  As for your ex, your son is at an age where you can tell him why you divorced his father in the first place.  All kids want their real parents back together.  I think you just need to really explain the problems that you had with your ex and how this new man in your life is who you truely want to spend your life with.
352342
IF SHE IS NOT WILLING TO ACCEPT YOUR SON THAN SHE IS NOT THE ONE FOR YOU. THAT'S ALSO GOOD THAT YOU ARE TAKING CARE OF YOUR RESPONSIBILITIES KEEP ON TAKING CARE OF YOU AND YOUR SON AND THE RIGHT ONE WILL COME ALONG.
38265
But he's still your son,no matter what.  You should honor your obligation no matter what.  You don't want your son to ever have any reason to say that you didn't step up to the plate and do the right thing.  HE'S YOUR SON!!!!!!!!