What do you think of a son who listens to his girlfriend who says he can't talk to his mom?
92291
That sounds very odd. Worst thing you can do is confront him over her (in my opinion), that would probably reinforce what she may have been saying to him. I would recommend trying to call him and talk to him about any unresolved issues he may have. If it becomes obvious that you two don't have any unresolved issues, he may see that she is manipulating the relationship. If he does bring up an issue, then you have an opportunity to deal with it with him. Good luck, I really do hope you are able to talk to him and find out what is going on.
1126803
I'm not sure about the law, but I think this is something between you and your boyfriend.  The way I see it, as a fiancee - and especially as a stepmom - you have the right to discipline them and have some input.  However, most of these things are best left to the mom and dad.\n\nI'm in the same situation, so I understand that it is often hard to understand exactly what your role is when it comes to the kids.  I always leave the big things to my fiance and the mother of his son.  If his son does something wrong, it's okay to say something to him.  If it's something major, I make sure to tell my fiance and leave it up to him to deal with it.  He and I have frequent conversations about his son and I tell him my opinion on certain issues, tell him what I think should be done and leave it at that.  \n\nEven though you're not the mom, you do play a role in the kid's lives.  When they are with you and your fiance, it should be a team effort - but always know the boundaries.
293170
Uh, what reason would you not want her to listen to your voicemail. I read something from one of my kids to some crush and I remembered when I was young. Does she know you have a bf? Is he nasty? Will she be like OH MY GOSH is she hears some teen silly talk? She is your mom and you are 13. Just give it to her and tell her how you feel about privacy. My daughter did that with me and I was okay with that so unless she gives me reason, I don't go into her phone just cause I have the code.Good luck.
946427
Play it down, some mothers push their daughters into relationships and maybe your mom thought because he was at your place for Thanksgiving that the relationship is more than what you both want it to be.  Next time you see him just tell him your mom does that to you all the time to pressure you into forming a long term relationship.  Bye the way I find it a bit odd that your guy would take it so seriously, so he must be leary of committment to a certain extent.  Play the whole situation down and for your own sake ease off on the guy for a while if he really likes you he'll come around.  I feel badly for you though, it must have been embarassing. One other thing I'd have a chat with your mom and ask her to please never to put you in that position again.  Just tell her that you'll let her know when she's allowed to tell someone your dating that she loves him, sounds as if she was inviting him to be the "SON IN LAW" and he probably freaked.  Good luck
820298
well.. she wont understand till either something big happens or till somebody tells her exactly what she needs to listen.\nbut the good point is at least you understand what is right and what is wrong. do not forget that. \nu seem to be a smart person - just try to help her handle the situation but dont try to prove urself smarter than ur mom after all she's the mom way better than u could be and yes --- respect her. she might be a liar, cheater to somebody but atleast she loves u and takes care of u.
546803
IF I CAUGHT MY MOTHER HAVING SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND, I WOULD HAVE NOTHING 2 SAY 2 EITHER ONE...I WOULD DEFINITELY HATE THE GUY & HATE MY MOTHER 4 A WHILE BUT EVENTUALLY I WOULD 4GIVE MY MOTHER...BOYFRIENDS COME AND GO BUT MOTHERS ARE 4EVA NO MATTER WHAT THE SITUATION...4GIVE BUT NEVER 4GET...
777906
Men, and I am one, frequently experience huge challenges in relating to their estranged offspring, and I am one of those too. I have scarcely any contact with my daughter, and none at all with my son, who are both "grown up". I believe that is ALL my responsibility. I take the view that, having been entirely inadequate as a father to them in their youth, I have no right to impinge myself on them as adults. I would love to be close to both, but don't deserve or expect that to happen. I would love for my daughter, particularly, to keep in touch, because we had reached a level of understanding. She hasn't contacted me for many months, and her mother tells me that's because she has been through some extremely difficult times during the last couple of years, when, incidentally, I have been away (she is now 30, and not at all immature).  But I would LOVE to hear from her - or from my son, whom I have had no contact with for 2 decades. I suppose that what I'm saying is that  I won't contact my kids unless they contact me first, because my, frank, neglect of them when they were younger disallows me that prerogative, but, I do wish they would contact me. It has to be that way round because I would be imposing myself on them otherwise. Write him. Leave a mesage with a friend, Tell him, ever so gently, because he's male, and therefore pretty hopeless at those sorts of things, and may be scared, that you would like to know him better. Maybe he really doesn't want to know, but you won't know that unless you do try, and you will surely kick yourself if you don't. I, with  the very greatest sincerity, and a tear in my eye I am not ashamed of, wish you the very best of best fortune in this matter.
882039
NOOOO, don`t ever make him decide. If he chooses than it needs to be without YOUR help!\nI think his mother was way out of line with that comment. Try not to worry too much about it, it sounds like you have a great boyfriend there! If you want you can have a talk with her and tell her that you didn`t mean to "step on her toes", you are simply in love with her son and wanted to be with him on this important day.
337379
Boy, that's a sad story if I ever heard one.  This is going to take work.  When your girlfriend is stuck home doing stuff, maybe you could help out.  That would be a good way to show your girlfriend and her mother how loving and dependable you are.  Also, if you help take good care of her siblings, it will show what a good father you could be.  You need to work with your girlfriend to help her practice being independent.  I'm not sure exactly how to do it, but you need to unbrainwash her.
817359
It actually sounds like your in law problems aren't as bad as some folks.  On his side, if it's pretty much the little sister that doesn't get along with you try developing a relationship with her, take her to lunch, call & chat with her if possible.  Maybe you guys just need to find some common ground.  If his family feels intimidated by your outspokeness, try toning it down around them a little.  Sometimes it can be a real learning experience to just listen to other folks.  It's probably just different communication styles.  Again, just look for as much common ground as you can find.\nOn your side, I think your mom needs to get a grip.  Your husband sounds like he's good to your son - what does your mom want - for you to hold out for the guy whos in jail?  She needs to learn to accept your choice.  Best wishes!
249087
She can only interfere as much as you two let her. My wife and I had gone through this. My own mom is very controlling and self-centered. She never re-married after my dad left in 1973. Mom felt that my wife took me away from her. When we got married, early on I told mom that I have a wife to take care of now and that SHE is the focus of my attention and affections. I do have a 35 year old brother that still lives with her, but she would call for me to do work around her house. I told her that I have my own house to take care of. Sure, she got irritated, but she also began to realize that I was not at her beck and call anymore.
502904
Why dont you talk to her parents, they might appreciate the honesty.\n\nThen they can tell her that they dont want her to talking to older men.
493280
tell her to leave and talk with your son about her behavior
647972
It is time to let go. Four years has given you your answer. She'll never change even if she claims she will. She sounds paranoid to me in fact, endangering her young son. You're trying to do the right thing but it is time to realise that the right thing to do now is to divorce her, get custody of your son, move on and find another woman worthy of your trust, respect and love. Don't stick around and let her scar you even more for that's just too convenient for her to do. It is not something you want your young son to think - that his dad cannot stand up for what he thinks is right and let a woman (even if it is his mom) put him down over and over again & cheat on him. I am sorry if what I said have offended you. I know you are doing this out of love but she does not deserve it and your son deserves a better mom. She lost her right to be his mother when she did what she did. Sorry. And Good Luck to You!
1149013
I'm going to hazard a guess based on your typing and grammar and say that you're under 15 or so... and in that case particularly (but at any age really) mom's usually know what they're talking about.  I know it sucks to hear that, but trust me, it's true.  (I'm 19, btw.. I've been there very recently, so I'm not out of the loop here.)\n\nWhat you should do is sit down with your mom and say "Hey mom, I don't want to get in to an argument about this, but I really want to know what it is you don't like about ____."  Listen to what she has to say.  Most importantly, do not get defensive.. the minute you start yelling at each other, you don't stand a chance of working things out.  Take the points she makes (and ask her to be specific.. point out specific examples of how he's controlling, not just say that he is) and think about them for a day a so.  Tell a close friend (*not* your boyfriend, very important) what she said and see what they think.\n\nIf after that you still think she's wrong, tell her you really thought about it and got a friend's perspective on it, but you don't agree with her, and ask her to respect your opinion.  That being said, do not disobey your mom.  Boyfriends come and go.  Your mom will always be your mom and it's more important than you can possibly imagine to keep a good relationship with her.\n\nAnd, as an aside, just my personal opinion, if you are young, as I guessed, you really don't need to date one person for that long.  I dated the same guy from the age of 14 to 17, and thought it was great at the time, but now, I really wished I wouldn't have done that.  It's kind of hard to explain, but just take it from someone who's been there.
208002
Assuming he is under the age of 18, you should accept it.  He is supposed to obey his mother.  Did you realize that the way he treats his mother is a very good indicator of how he will later treat his own wife?  You should be glad if he chooses to honor his mother.
1000073
Some men are jst that stupid. their mothers sheltered them too much. You may have to show him how to use them correctly.