what if your husband wants to copulate but you fear miscarriage?
80619
Relax, having sex won't cause a miscarriage.
144932
If you're asking this question then you definitley are NOT ready to have sex with him. When you are ready you will feel it in your heart and you won't think twice or have to ask someone's opinion, so probably after your married would be best.
1020141
It's got to be psychological response I'd say.  Apparently you don't like it or there's something about it that bothers you.  Perhaps your conscience or a fear of getting pregnant.  Ever hear the phrase "psyching yourself out".  Perhaps it's a clue that you shouldn't be having sex with him.
408696
He wants a baby. You don't feel ready. Ask him for a wedding first. Kids need two parents, and they need the legal protection of having their parents be married. And BOTH parents should be ready. Having a baby is a LOT of work. It isn't all baby powder and bassinettes. They cry at night, they get sick, they need a lot of attention, they need potty training, they need schooling, they need good role models, etc. Your kids are there forever. If he can handle all that responsibility, then go for it. But get married first. If he can't commit to you first,then he's not going to commit to a kid.
946469
have had the same thing going. might be different reasons. for me - at the bottom of it all - i worked out that i was scared getting pregnant. \nthat is a very short version of a very deep problem. i hope you still might understand and give it a thought
210022
Are you scared of the intimacy? Have you always had difficulty? Or are you trying too hard to be aroused? Visualize a fantasy with him, and set it up. Talk to him. Don't make him guess at what's going on. He loves you, if he didn't he wouldn't have married you. Intimacy involves the mind, body, soul and heart, let him romance every facet, taking his time. Communicate. Good luck and best wishes for you both.
1050480
My husband and I at the same point in our lives..I am 37 and he is 36...My clock is almost finished ticking...I too am scared....(I don't understand why especially when 17 and 18 year old are having babies).   I find it especially hard when my friends and I get together...they all talk about their children and well I talk about my two dogs...I do feel uncomfortable...at times.  I think about having children on and off....I always put it off by saying it's not the right time or 'I say next year'...  I am happy at this point in my life and not sure after 17 years of marriage that a child would be a good idea...I just don't know...My husband says he does not want any children...but I do know he would make a great father....It is a hard choice  that I need to make quickly and I will have to make it soon  or time will run out....
396919
When a woman is pregnant she is going through ALOT of hormonal changes.  I would talk to a doctor, but I wouldn't say that it is abnormal.  It has been my experience that when a woman is pregnant she wants sex MORE, but you could just be different.  Talk to a doctor, about it, and stress to your husband that this isn't forever it is just while you are pregnant.  He needs to not feel rejected.  But most importantly... talk to a doctor.
897437
Hello, if you went to your gynecologist and he/she planned that method for you, then you should trust the doctor's opinion.  If you don't feel comfortable with your gynecologist, you should change to another gynecologist.  Now, if you have insecurities, then use a second method, like a condom. It is recommended to use a second method like a condom, the first month.   \n\nTalk to your future husband, and tell him your concerns.  He loves you and he's going to marry you, this is a new experience that the two of you are going to experience, so he should not have a problem understanding your concerns.  I post three websites that contain professional information about Lo/ovral.  They also have statistics about % of pregnancy.  Your should read about your pill and read the paper that came inside your package. I hope that this information can help you.\n\nCongratulations and GL,,  GB, Bye!
611932
The world right now in May of 2006 is climbing toward 7,000,000,000 -- yes, billion -- people.  For health reasons, you have had a hysterectomy.  And now your husband wants another baby.  What do YOU want?  Do you have any children in the first place?  Have you or he had children together, or do you have children from previous relationships?  How much strain would this pregnancy put on your body and your relationship?  All of these questions and more, I'm sure, need to be considered.\n\nIn vitro may be an option, but it's expensive and very iffy, with maybe a 10% chance of impregnation at any one time.  At several thousand dollars per cycle and no promises, IVF is often an emotional rollercoaster, as people get their hopes up and then nothing.  Are you willing to go through, potentially, months and years of disappointment, dwindling finances and no child at the end?\n\nUsing a surrogate is a possibility, but surrogacy is fraught with emotional time-bombs.  Some surrogates want to keep the baby.  Mothers who cannot have children physically may be resentful and jealous of the other woman's ability to become and stay pregnant.  I don't know what the protocol is after a child is born from a surrogate, but it seems an extraordinary thing for a woman to give birth to a child and then just walk away, but I suppose that's how it's done.  \n\nUltimately if you don't have a uterus, you cannot have a baby naturally that I'm aware of.  You would have to use a surrogate, or you would have to adopt.  I'd suggest you do some research and reading first, talk this over with your husband, and talk it over with yourself, and think about what you really want.  \n\nIt sends up a big red flag to me that after a hysterectomy where your uterus is removed, your husband suddenly wants a baby -- and obviously you cannot do this.  Is it really a baby he wants, or something else emotionally?  Having a baby complicates relationships and never solves any problem.  Babies even when wanted bring stress to a relationship.  Perhaps some marriage counseling and/or some very honest talks are very much in order.  I wish you the best.\n\nGood luck.  Cheers, K
556552
if you can't work with hubby to set some limits to give your marriage breathing room, then maybe it's time to get some counseling so you can understand why you're scared to death and learn some tools to help you cope with upcoming changes.\n\nBy remaining scared, you don't have to make any changes and can continue to complain. you're letting yourself get in the way by telling yourself you're scared. scared of what? ending up on the street? won't you get a job? if you get fired won't you look for another one? dig deep and find out why you're setting up your own obstacles. good luck.
374144
Wow..that was harsh!! He obviously wasn't ready for the long haul with you..(sorry if that sounds too terribly blunt) A lot of people have issues dating or marrying someone who they think cannot have kids. Everyone will deal with things in their own way but he couldn't have been the one for you if this has happened. Be glad you knew the outcome before you two got married. You see, what the doc said is only a possibility..not a fact. God gives miracles..keep your head up honey..everything will be fine.
584392
If you're scared, let it go, you're not ready.  you don't have to force yourself to do something you're scared of.  How old are you?  what are you scared of?  pregnancy?  STD'S?  You should be scared cause condoms are not always reliable, they do break, especially if you don't know how to use them properly, or if you use with the wrong lubricant.\n\nYou also need to make sure you really trust the guy you're with.  Is he pushy?  does he keep bugging you for it?  If he loves you he will respect that you need time to be ready.  Sex is a big step and you should ONLY do it if you feel he will be there by your side in case anything goes wrong.  Do you think he'll be there if something goes wrong?\n\nRemember that having sex involved sharing your most intimate and vulnerable moments, bodily fluids, can you trust him with that? \n\nIf you're older and still have a hard time, then it may be time to seek counseling on why you're afraid to be vulnerable.  Were you molested, raped?  it might take time, just make sure that you're with someone who wants nothing but for you to feel secure, and ready to do so.
326002
not necessarily - maybe you have a great butt - or he's scared of getting you pregnant
1109723
He might want you to, and maybe even expect you to, but you are not obligated.  If you want to do it, then that's fine.\nBut if you wait to have sex until you are in a committed relationship, then it will be much easier.  You and your husband could talk about these things and know exactly what each other expects.  And you will probably want to do it if you love him and that's what he enjoys.
150760
I have found that a pregnant woman makes a very good sexual lover. If he is still with you after two kids and one on the way, you must be doing the right things.
135807
Leave him, go have a pregnancy test done and be checked out for STDS. He is obviously not trustworthy to have done something so sneaky. It is your choice if you want to have a baby not his. If he wants a child and you are not willing or ready to have one, he should either accept it or find someone that wants a family. Not try to force one on you.\n\n************************************************************\nAs for the abortion and adoption issue brought up in previous answers, Think it through well and make an educated decision. Even though you were tricked into a pregnancy it doesn't change the fact that it would be your baby growing inside of you and you would have to live with your choice for the rest of your life. There is no taking it back...once you abort the baby is dead a nd gone forever, and once you give your child to someone else it is their child. You could also consider giving the child to the father, since he obviously wanted a baby so badly, but only do so if he is secure and stable enough to raise and love the baby.