How do I get my boyfriend to move out and get his own place without ruining the relationship?
83193
You're on really thin ice here.  It's extremely difficult to go backwards in a relationship and not tear it up.  Most any sentient being would see this as a big sign of rejection.  \n\nIt would help to know why you want him to move out.  If it's stuff that's trivial in the big scheme of things, then maybe you could get him irritated enough that moving out would be a relief.  For example, if he snores and you can't sleep, then wake him up, and if he gets too sleep-deprived he'll be ready to move out.  If it's something heavy like you get sick of seeing him more than 8 hours a week then you've got a tougher problem and you probably need to evaluate more than the living arrangements.\n\nWhatever you do, don't try to get his mother meddling in this like someone suggested.  That would add major insult to the rejection.\n\nGood luck,\nhouyhnhnm
532672
He has committment issues. The house is the factor that makes your relationship permanent and he wants to be able to escape if he chooses. \n\nIt doesn't sound from what you wrote that he has been different...just that things are changing and he isn't dealing with it well. The more you demand committment to the situation (the house)...the more he may back down. He also is maybe worried that he won't do a good job at paying for the house...but I suspect that he is looking for excuses. \n\nPerhaps you should sit down with him very calmly and look at the situation..talk to him. Ask him if he is wanting to settle down. He may like being involved but doesn't want to settle down. It is his personality. Fear. Maybe...he needs to hear something from you. Maybe he needs encouraged. Maybe you are being demanding (without knowing it). It seems that you are going ahead with plans and he isn't wanting to yet. \n\nYou both need to talk it out. Try to get your emotions out of it...and see it from his perspective. He is scared about something....so just ask. \n\nTry thinking of it this way....would you want to put a down payment down...and fix things on a house if you didn't own it....he will feel like a roommate or perhaps dangerously vulnerable. Just try to be understanding...and step back.\n\nHe might just need time or reassurance. But you need to stop putting pressure on him. Just my thoughts..and I might have it all wrong...but it is what I see.
141415
dont move in\nstudies show you'll never get married ( if that's your goal ) or he evetuanlly dump you ( more than likely )
120508
Take it from a guy.  Stay at home with your parents and maybe stay overnight with him once in a while.  You've got a lot of years ahead of you.  Get yourself situated  with what you want to do (college, work, or whatever) and be able to support yourself before moving out of your parents' house.
497716
Well, if you really care about him then the way to do it, is to sit down with him and explain to him exactly what you just said here. If he doesn't except it then you may have to just tell him, ENOUGH, I want you OUT and then if he doesn't move out you'll have to do it the hardway and change the locks while he is out. When he gets home and sees his stuff on the front lawn and finds that the locks have been changed well, he'll get the message. Good luck.
195857
First, depending upon what state you are in, moving in with your boyfriend could get him tossed into jail.  Check out the age of consent in your state.\nIn most states, by the time you are 18, you can move out and do what you wish.  In the meantime, you must learn how to deal with your father on this issue.  He may not understand and may never agree, but you do need to let him know about the depth of your feelings for your boyfriend.
278180
You CAN live without him girlfirend!!!- All he will do in the future is bring you down- stealing from you and lying- that is something most strangers would not do to you- you need a new man and there is one out there for you jsut don't rush it. You can not have a relationship without trust and you need to dump him ASAP. If you think there will be trouble breaking it off with him or you feel that you will be weak in staying away fromm him then get yourself a support group or a counselor before you make the move. \nYou say you can not live iwthout him, but I'm sure most of your answers will be that you can't live WITH him. Good luck- be strong- he does not deserve you.
265704
Maybe you dont love him enough to move in with him. You dont have to tell him that you dont love him as much as you want too right now. But geez youve only seen him for 7 months. Explore your options, live your life and date him. But for god sake you do not have to move in with each other. Unless of course he is your night and shining armor and you want him to be around you 24/7!
151129
I'm sorry, but this isn't your choice.  It is their house and their rules.  You can ask them but you need to respect their decision.  If you don't like their answer then you and your boyfriend need to get a place of your own.
700358
As a guy, I know that the thought of doing something groundbreaking is exciting first, but then once it hits, we all get nervous and back out. He might not just be mature enough to settle down. Moving in with your significant other is a step towards a life together and that thought can be very scary. So, sit with him and talk honestly. Ask him where he wants to go with this relationship, what his fears are, etc. \n\nI hope that the best comes out of this.
263908
First of all it is selfish grammer to say me and my, you say my boyfriend and I, don't talk about yourself first. Second if you don't know how to communicate with her, you do not come off as ready to leave the nest.  Why not have the boy get his own place and visit him there often but keep your home base.  Keep the best of two worlds, after all you have never lived with a man before, you have not lived on your own.  If I were you I would test this guy and see if he is man enough to stand on his own.  You should crave to have your own little place someday, a dorm room or even just a room for rent.  Your freedom time may be short and sweet but don't miss out on this interval between mom's place and your first and side step your independence.  You will look back one day and regret not taking time for yourself.  Enjoy being independent of him, enjoy being his guest, help him with his place but keep filling your own hope chest.  I am financially independent, I have so many houses I don't know what to do.  I could not marry without a prenup.  You have so much ahead, don't piss mom off at all.  Take it to heart.  She is your number one.  Ask her what you should do instead of being a little tyrant and telling her what your going to do.  Unless of course your of age that is, 18 and you don't have anything better to do with your life.  But now you can save money staying with mom.  Stay free.
622504
well, I'm hoping that your relationship does work out. I'm in the same situation, but my bf is a year older that yours. We are talking about moving in together after I graduate next year, and the talking has already started. I believe that if both of you are willing to work on it, then there is no reason that your relationship will fail. Good luck.
694026
Wow your parents are being very selfish.  It sounds like you've made up your mind about your boyfriend and leaving him his not an option.  My advice is to move out asap.  You're 25, they can't stop you.  You're parents shouldn't hold that over your head...they are saying all that stuff to CONTROL you.  Trust me, sounds like something my mother would have said to me when I lived at home.  We get along a lot better now that I'm not living with her.  I don't think you're parents hate you but they are not being fair.  \n\nThis might sound out there but did you get your college degree yet?  That might help you get a better job and be able to afford living on your own.\n\nAnyways, I hope you feel better and I'm sorry you have to put up with that.  Again, move out asap.
1032075
No you have needs as well and you have to make him aware of them. Sometimes guys we don't catch on to sublte hint then three months from now we come home she's crying and we can't figure out why. Then you unlaod everything that you've had bottled up for the last 5 months and the whole time he could really be clueless. Let him know what your thinking and why and see what he says, but assuming is never the way to go. You just moved in so establishing communication is key. Here is you first chance to do so. I hope it all works out well.
1068455
You need to ask in order for the relationship to work. He won't mind, He's proboly been thinking of a way to tell you anyway that he either, doesn't want to be with you and wants to move. wants to be with you wants to move and wants you to come but doesn't want to spring it on you. Or want to be with you but has to move. \n            Hope this helps :)          good luck
611817
I urged my friend not to move in with his girfriend, as they planned to get married, and they were only together for a year. I have been in this situation 3 times. It is not good for the relationship, and only a select few can handle this early living arrangement. He went ahead and moved in, because it was what she really wanted, and he has seemed depressed ever since. He can't focus when people are talking to him, and the money issues are putting a strain on their relationship. He came to me and told me that he wished he had listened, and that he was afraid that he would lose her soon. They had NEVER had a single fight, and now they fight frequently.\n\nIt does work, but I promise, if you wait until you're married, there will be a reason for you to stay together during the first and hardest year of living together. It is difficult and if you feel you would be able to handle it, and not get weird on your boyfriend, go for it.
594318
Talk to her about your plans.  Help your sister do a budget and understand how to pay bills.  After that, you are free to move in with your boyfriend.  Don't rush to move in with him, get to know him longer.  If you have been dating for a year or more, try it.  If not, wait!