if a man i'm seeing is looking on porn sites and tells me your fat what would u think does he love me or not?
84058
it depends i've been with my babby's daddy and he tells that i should diet and bought me a gym membership but i know that its out of love.  I guess the way you can tell is "does he make you feel bad and unworthly?" if he does than no and i would find someone who appreiates me for me
797219
Fact:\n\nmen look at porn to escape from something they are running away from something they are not dealing with.  I am not suprised you feel unnattractive! - this is abusive behaviour and totally disrespectful to you.\n\nI don't think it has anything to do with the fact that he finds you either ugly or attractive. It is to do with him and the effect of what he is doing is making you feel like you are the one with the problem but you are not - he is the one with the problem and he needs to sort it out now.\n\nIt seems like he has a pretty serious addiction and is neglecting you in place of porn.  If he doesn't want to talk with you, then he will have to talk with someone about it if he wants to remain in a relationship with you.  This cannot go on and he is not accepting responsibility for his addiction and apologies aren't going to change this.\n\nI think you feel used and responsible for what I am pretty sure he has lured you into those things you now feel really guilty about. But  he is addicted to porn, has been even before you got together as an addiction doesn't start just because of what you two did together.  His behaviour has it's roots from an earlier time and has just grown over time.\n\nYou are not guilty for sharing what you thougt was some fun between you - that was seperate from any porn he engages in and doesn't make you responsible for what he has done and is still doing now.  The videoing will have nothing to do with what addicction he has, so please don't feel guilty for his problem.\n\nPorn is very destructive and any person who jusifies it in their answers have no real idea as to the damage it causes.  It is a real relationship killer and is abusive.  Give him the choice of either getting help for this problem or to pack your things and leave him to it.  He will continue to be like this the longer he chooses to be in denial about it.\n\nWhat you did with him wasn't wrong or bad and didn't cause the addiction he has. No amount of sexual adventer between two loving couples can create an addiction to porn - it already has to be there inside the person and he had this even before you got around to adventerous sex.  He made his own choices and you didn't help him just because you had some adventerous sex togther.\n\nHe crossed the line of love and intimacy with you in a way that is totally disrespectful to you.  What he did with you was a shared intimate thing but didn't give him permission to then jerk off with fictional women outside of the relationship he has with you.  This line has been crossed and he cannot allow his apologies to make up for what he is destroying with you.\n\nHe cannot love you nor respect you and so he has to change or be left to his addiction.  This is just awful and truly feel awful for you.  You do not deserve this and you are probabley better off ditching him however difficult this might be, it has to be done because he will continue to abuse you like this by not meeting your sexual or emotional needs - that is abuse.\n\nWhat you have done right is be committed to a serial porn addict and love him regardless and unconditionally and shared an intimate and loving relationship when it was one.  So how does this make you wrong in anyway? - You gave him all that a committed girlfriend could have done and more and he is the one doing the neglecting and abusing, so what is he doing wrong? - this is the question.\n\nHe is doing everything a dysfunctional person would and is abusing your trust and love for him, so he is the problem not you. He will be the one making you feel guilty for what he is doing, so now he either has to stop, ot you walk out on him.
1068270
Love is not about numbers or appearances, it's about mutual respect, affection and trust. If this man is telling you that he doesn't love you because of 35 pounds, you already know the answer to that question. Love is not turned on and off like a faucet because appearances change. Lust may be, but not love.\n\nYour weight and any impact on your health should be concerns to you, but not dependent on an unltimatum from a partner. You might want to ask why you do not want to lose the weight for yourself and your own well being. \n\nFrankly, it also sounds as if you believe this relationship is not right for you and may be using the weight as a shield from it and a rather convenient way to end it and get to be the "wronged party" as well. He may be honestly concerned with your health, but you don't trust his motives and you don't feel connected to him sufficiently to do this.\n\nJust be honest, with yourself and with him.
51649
Your man's only problem seems to be he loves the skin you are in.  Take comfort and joy in knowing that he feels lucky to have you.  His eyes are on you and your booty, instead of every other one in front of you.  And Im sure he didnt propose to your booty, right?  Obviously, there are other things about him or you would not have said yes to his proposal.
977246
LMAO you asked this - most blokes have seen thousands and thousands of images of naked women via the porn they consume.. women of every shape and size so although they may prefer a certain shape/size.. given the choice many men are not as fussy as women seem to think..\n\nIn fact, save your energy and just love who you are and do not try to establish what men like in order to see how you rate..  \n\nEspecially since, as I say, the female form is so de-valued and degraded day in day out that even if you did have the perfect shape/body/size that a certain bloke preferred, chances are you would only hold his unblinkered attention fleetingly because blokes are used to seeing women like sweets in a sweet shop..so even if he has a stunning blonde at home, he might fancy a brunnette for a change etc etc \n\nIt is a lose lose situation from female p.o.v unless you regain control, have a take me as I am attitude and realise that many men are players and you'll know he's lying when his lips move..
794553
He has a weak character. I think it's probably virtually impossible for him to compromise. I know guys like that. BUT there are probably some other guys out there who would be so into being close to you, they would not care if you are fat... and some who think you're sexy as you are. Find them instead, and let this guy feel your absence and hurt about it a bit. Maybe he'd learn something valuable.
701730
does he tell u that ur beautiful?
977549
Oh dear, "why would a man voluntarily tell you the size of his penis" I don't think this guy is looking for a relationship, not to be too blunt, looks like he is after some extra marital sex and that's why he wants you sweetheart. Mind you if you are up for a little on the side that's your call......Just a thought has he small hands?
975492
You are using negative terms to describe your own body. "Fat" and "overweight" are not part of a good body image. Until you learn to love your curves and except them for what they are no one else will find you attractive. \n\nA high self esteem is one of the sexiest things that anyone can have, and if you got that then, then sweetie it doesn't matter how much you weigh someone will want to love every little inch of you!\n\nSo keep your chin up ok, there are a lot of men out there who would rather date a wonderful person, even if she is on the heavier side, then some stick model with no passion or humour.
333953
I'd tell him to lay off the porn, and tell him he's got the real live thing right here, and to choose. Me or your porn. If he can get off with porn, but not with you, then the guy has some very serious issues.
661908
I'm guessing you mean she finds him attractive, but only physically. If this is the case you have nothing to worry about because she told you. If she lusted for him in secret then it would cause you worry. Since she told you about it then it's not any different than you commenting on a pretty lady when the two of you are watching a movie. there are lots of attractive people out there man and women. That's why we have models. It doesn't mean she wants to be with them emotionally. Sounds like she is reserving that for you. Just be proud that your the one shes with and wants to be with.
561895
How fat are we talking?\nI love fat guys they give you something to hold on to.\nBut I don't want a guy to have bigger bobs then I have.\nI hope you find the girl that deserves your beautiful soul.\nIf you want to talk e-mail me at Horserunner92@yahoo.com\nI also love it when a guy has a big heart as well.
669
You are being used for booty and will never be anything more to him. I wish it didn't sound so harsh, but that's your truth. Either enjoy your "benefits" or move on. You may tell him you love him, but I bet your intuition has already told you the response to that and that is why you are scared. Actually I belive you should tell him, get it off your chest....and still move on.
351051
You wouldnt be the only one that acts differently online or on the phone to what they do in reality. Its a way of life. Some people find it easier to be more outgoing and adventurous when theres no one to confront them face to face. If your feelings are that strong for this guy then be open with him. He should love you  because your kind caring trusting honest and genuine not because he thought you were sexually adventurous. If its true love then he'll understand and something will come of it
82868
Men for the most part are telling you the truth about how they feel about you.  What you have to distinguish as a woman is...if he is just trying to get in your pants.  If you have feelings for him trust your gut.  I'm sure he is being completely honest.  Don't forget, men like to hear how you feel about them too!
935307
He's probably over you, but was feeling horny in the moment.  It doesn't sound like he has any intention of being with you in a serious way.  He'd probably settle for a booty call relationship, but you sound like you have more class than that, so I'd move on if I were you.
976719
Its not your fault, he is looking for excuses and you are the one he is blaming.  I dont have a problem with men or women looking at porn, but when it takes the place of intimacy between the two of you then I consider it a problem.  You shouldnt have to have sex with him in order for him to stop looking at porn, he is looking at it anyway, so nothing you can do and have done has been able to stop him.  If your sex life with him was enhanced by his looking at porn it would be a totally different matter, but its not.  It sounds to me like sex to you now is a duty rather than being a pleasure.\n\nI think this man has a problem and you are taking his problems and placing them on your shoulders.\n\nI dont know what the answer is because you have done and are doing everything and he is still blaming you for an unsatisfactory sex life.  What is he doing....is he comparing the women he sees in the pornography with you?  If that is the case it is wrong.  He has to stop it.  You need to tell him that his watching pornography is getting in the way of a healthy sex life, and you need to tell him straight that its not you who has the problem, its him.\n\nWhilever you accept the blame for his shortcomings, he will continue to treat you like this.  Its seems you are doing all the doing and he is doing nothing to cement your relationship.  If I were you I would just tell him straight, tell him if he doesnt enjoy sex with you and would rather watch porn then it is a waste of time having sex.  Turn it around on him,  make him feel "bad" for a change.  He is having it all his own way and what are you getting out of it?.....A whole lot of stress.  You probably do not feel attractive, sexy or even worthy.  You have to stop lowering yourself in trying to make him happy.  Its called reverse psychology.  Withdraw the sex totally and see how he likes it.  Tell him if he is not satisfying you and all you feel now is having sex with him is a chore and you wont do it any more.  You could even go as far as telling him that if he doesnt find you attractive and he is not interested in satisfying you, then you are sure their would be plenty of men who would.  Take the hard line with him.  He's got you over a barrel...he is blaming you for the lack of intimacy.  You are doing everything right, yet it is still not good enough for him.  Hes just a selfish SOB and you need to tell him that.  Your needs are just as important as his needs, so stop seeing yourself as inferior to him.  You are his equal.  Yeah, maybe you do have some insecurities, but I bet if he loved you like he should your insecurities would slowly disappear.  I believe your insecurities are being made worse by his behaviour.  He needs to take some blame in all of this because I honestly think he is the one who is more to blame.  He is the one who is making you insecure.  Stand your ground with him, be strong.  Stop pandering to him all the time.  Be strong and make him accept his part of the blame.\n\nYou deserve much better than this, you really do.