my husband won't tell his kids or me that he love us he says we should know it with out being told..?
83998
you could come up with a code word or a tap on the shoulder or somthing like that/ Its not unusual for a person not to want to show affection ect. esp around others. \nExample --you could be leaving the house and say skittles! and if that was the code he could say skittles back.
147041
If your spouse is lying to you, there is obviouisly a problem. If the lies are taking this much of a toll on your marriage consider possibly getting marriage counsling. Is there a reason they feel they need to lie. Are they hiding somethin. Communicate, tell him or her this is unacceptable in your book,and you will not stand for it. If you do tell them that stand your ground. A liar is as bad as a cheater.
603222
If he really loves you, yes.\nJust tell him.\nHonesty is the best policy.\n:-)
299597
well, i would tell him what i feel about it to the very small details, no matter whether it hurts or not. \nhowever, you are proud woman and i wish you the very best of luck. it is not easy. not at all. take care of your kids as best as you can. they have a great mother\n\ncheers\n\nnedzad
137693
Your parents have their reasons, I'm sure. But have you asked them to explain to you? They may not be able to, or they may not want to, but consider the possiblity that they did what was best, not only for them, but for you too. \n\nMy husband and I are seperated for reasons I hope I never have to tell my children.
541280
I really think you guys need to sit down and talk.  Tell him EXACTLY how you feel.  trust me, not talking is worse. My husband and I never talked about our feelings, and if your on here a lot you know my situation. If not, after 20yrs. of marriage, I'm looking at DIVORCE.
296459
Sometimes, I have to tell my husband about the things I am doing for him (or not doing to him).  Sometimes he has to do the same for me.  \n\nI know, in an ideal world that if you do the right thing, everything else will just fall into place, but that has not been my experience.  We are human, and as such, we are sometimes completely self-absorbed. When we are in such a state, we will never see the kind actions of our spouse, no matter how wonderful they are.\n\nGently point out to your husband the things that you do out of love.  My husband and I reached a turning point in our marriage when I finally stood up and said "I AM a good wife, and here is why..."  It made him look at me in a completely different way.  He began to see things he had overlooked before, and consequently, began to appreciate me more.
147162
he just does not want to to tell you that he loves you
1100061
In my opinion, you are giving this guy way too much control...what makes him think he has the right to add on after saying 'I love you'..'thats how i feel at the moment but you probably wont hear it often'.\n\nI read your other questions like you requested, and there is only one thing i can't work out...have you slept together before? If you have did he know about the kids? or has he only just found oout about your kids? \n\nIf the latter is the case then i think give him time bc he is obviously trying to adjust to the fact you have kids. Some men find it very difficult to handle as they see it as more commitment. Even so, do not put up with any shit from him, like over the love issue, or birth control and even sex. He either needs to take time to decide if this is what he wants or he resaures you that he does love you but is just finding it hard to cope with.\n\nHowever if he did know about your kids previously and has just started having a funny turn, i would seriously consider ending it with thiss guy. These kinds of men become very possesive and not very nice men in general. It is nothing to do with the fact that you had children with another man, its the fact he does not want to share you. And the only thing that concerns me is that you are already reffering to your children as a mistake in one of your Q's. Please do not be one of those women who put men before your children. You have to remember and he especially has to remember that you did not cheat on him and have these children, you were in a relationship with another man, the same way he has had relationships with other women. I mean he says he does not like the idea of you sleeping and having kids with that other man..can he look you in the eyes and say he has not had any other sexual relationships?\n\nI really think you need to consider what kind of man you want in your life...\n\n1. someone who makes you sad, on edge, uses love against you, uses your children against you, makes you feel guilty about having your children?\n\nor\n\n2. A man who loves and respects you unconditionally, who will accept your children, makes you happy and genuinally loves you.\n\nThe decision is yours, are you a weak feeble woman or a strong confidant woman who will put her children first in her life 100% and no matter how hard it is to leave someone you love, if they are not treating you right leave. Remember your children will copy the type of relationships and people you go for as you get older. let them grow up in a happy family environment. \n\nI wish you all the luck and let me know what happens x
596202
The children deserve two parents that love each other if the love is gone your not doing them any favors by staying together. you and your husband are the two most important people to these kids . So i think if he doesn't love you then go don't put the kids in the situation to see you two hating each other
806795
That would just depend. Most married couples share everything. So they will atleast tell their spouse. Which, if they do not share the same feelings on keeping secrets, could be a bad thing. I however, have learned not to tell secrets period. just keeps things from getting complicated.
778157
I would really keep an eye on this ~ Sometimes men feel rejected or left out when there are small children around (and especially when there is a newborn or one on the way) ~ My husband did things like this and I ended up just having to talk to him about it and letting him know that it is not OK.  If you have an issue with it, he should stop doing whatever it is that upsets you.  His first priority is YOU and his children and NOT his first wife.  For him to not tell you until days later is selfish and also shows that he is trying to hide it from you.  My question would be to ask yourself, what else is he hiding?  My husband on the other hand does not do this anymore because I had to keep reminding him that his first priority must be me and the children or else he can just leave.. .Our children are more grown up and independent now, however,  If we didn't have our kids to argue about, we wouldn't argue about anything.  ~ It just takes time and alot of adjustment.  We have been married for 9 years.
1107585
Just tell him. He's your husband..You should be able to know how to tell him in such manner where not to hurt his feelings.
579295
If that kind of man talks to me about his wife like that, I will tell him to tell directly to his wife in manageable ways. Sex might be important, not the important thing for building a marriage, but it's not good to let others beside our spouse knows the trouble of that, it's better if the couples set time together discuss.
1083760
The root to your problem lack of conversation,....If there anything not right goin on , the best way to solve it is to talk openly to each other. Say your husband is up set over something that happen between his in-laws & him sometime ago, n he's not happy being with them....but for me at least he's willing to join you guy for a week. For me that's fair....Talk to your husband n make him feel good for his sacrifice....Then your job is to tell your family that your hubby has something to do........Time will heel things.....But never ever compare anybody with the past or with another person....Things can go very bad.
247081
wow thats tough. i think you should tell him yourself because if people find out then rumors will start.. and if its a good reaction or not .. at least you let him know u still love him & hopefully da reaction is good!
1127634
No...you shouldn't tell him, nor should you be involved or get involved with him. So long as he is married there is that chance no matter how slim that he could reconcile with his wife, and you shouldn't be there to make that impossible or harder for him to do. You are also only opening yourself up to hurt by being involved...best to stay away.