why i feel hard to trust my boyfriend?we are in a long distance relationship..Is that normal?
80030
I know how you feel.  I am in a long distance relationship myself and my boyfriend's best friend is a woman.  If you really love your boyfriend then you have to trust him.  Trust is the most important thing you can have in a relationship.  You built up a trust with him while you were together now you have to build up a long distance trust.  It is very hard to do but you can get through it.  If he assures you he won't cheat and if he hasn't shown any signs of cheating then don't worry.  It will get easier with time.
57969
it depends on how both of you feel, and if you really want to make it work it will work. my bf and i have a more than 3 year relationship now, the first 8 months was together in college, the rest was spent in diff continents. i go home to vacation every year to see him. im sure how i feel about him and he says he's sure and i believe him though somethimes i get paranoid and i grill him with questions and sometimes he is patient sometimes he gets irritated. communication is very important. we try to talk everyday even if it's just to say hello. trust each other, if you don't trust each other there's no use having the long distance relationship. don't hold back each other in terms of friendships, your goals, etc. in my case if i'm excited happy sad angry ... he's the person i always want to "report" to. we're each other's "go-to" person even if it's just on the phone. i told him that in case someone new comes along i asked him to just tell me right away and i'm hoping if it ever happens he'll care enough and just be honest. long distance relationships are not easy but if you feel that it's what you want and your bf feels the same way then it will be worth the time and effort. i hope i've been some of help.
117819
It pretty much comes down to this: You either trust him or you don't. There is no "in between" trust. So ask yourself this: Do I trust him? If the answer is yes then there should be no problem with accepting what he says to you. If the answer is no then you would be treating yourself with respect by not staying with him, getting on with your life and not looking back. Once the trust is gone it never comes back. Not truly 100%. The most important thing is to be true to yourself!
1040042
What makes you think he is cheating?  If you can't trust him, how can you have a good relationship?  A relationship that lasts has a lot of trust and honesty between the two people.  You have to ask yourself why do you think that he would be cheating?  Though, past experiences could cause you to think that way.  You should always give them the benefit of the doubt.  Plus, an hour away isn't too far. =)
239963
Don`t worry because I have the same problem with my boyfriend. I`m also glad that you believe him. You should just try to not get all that jealous. Its actually good that your jealous because you care for him and don`t want to lose him.
758870
We always find something wrong with whatever situation we're in- your boyfriend sounds like he needs some room/latitude to check out things. Don't suffocate him. He probably loves you very much but right now is feeling constrained by the relationship. Best thing you can do is let him know you love him and allow him some opportunity do what he wants. It maybe doesn't seem fair, but it's a chance for you to do some thinking/living for yourself ,too. It is said ,"Set it free and if it's real, it'll return to you sooner or later". That's what good love is- trusting, enduring, and patient as well as self-sacrificing.
350968
..you probably dont think you can trust him because what has happened before..and i know exactly how you feel i havent been able to really trust a guy in over a year and im workin on it really hard and anytime i started to get somewhere with a guy all that i can think about is how much that other guy hurt me but i have to let go of the past and im tryin to figure out a way to do that too..but you are just goin to have to try your hardest to get over what has happen before..you might think you are completely over that but your probably not because you belive your boyfriend now..you just have to let your guard down with the chance of you gettin hurt again but sometimes its worth it/
322011
First, let go of the fear and trust him.  He will pick up on it and begin to think that you do not trust him.\n   The most important part to any relationship is communication.  It is extremely important for both of you to feel you can go to your partner with any problem, issue or desire, and have an open mind listen to you.  Many relationship fail because there is a lack of communication between partners.  They do not express if they are feeling lonely, unloved, sexually unsatisfied, etc.  If you can communicate these things with each other, talk out and compromise your differences and needs, then that is a huge step to keeping your relationship alive and healthy.\n   Always remember to keep your individualism, while at the same time knowing that you can depend on your partner to be there when you need them.  Don't be afraid though to rely on your partner to help you if you need it.\n   Enjoy each other each and every day as if it might be your last, because in this fragile thing we call life, it could be.  Love each other every day as much as you can.  \n   Most importantly, trust him and your love.  If he truly loves you he will not do anything like that to you.\n\nPeace, luck and love
965994
From your description, I'm not sure you even have a "true" relationship. I feel you think you have but I am not so sure about him. At any rate a long distance relationship has no nurturing value...especially if there is no commitment. You have no idea what the other is doing. How can it be fulfilling? Your description itself suggest no pleasure from it...only doubt, insecurity and unhappiness. Your task is to firmly decide what is best for YOU.\nI suggest you continue to stabilize your life...this clearly is not working to your benefit. \n\nYou don't have to be face to face for it to end. Please don't let it be an excuse for him or yourself. Over the phone, email or a letter would suffice.
24854
This is a great question.  I will await all the answers.  I have the same question( except the marriage part-but we've dated for almost 6 yrs now, and have a planned 7 month old baby).  It hurts me, also. For me, it's also a trust thing. You feel like you don't want to leave the house ever. It makes me feel very trapped and stressed.  I don't mind him looking at it once in a while, but I'd rather he looked at it when I was around and included me in stuff like,  " Oh hey.. look at THIS! teehee" or whatever.  Good luck. I've talked to my boyfriend about this, and he just doesn't get it. I'm glad there are others out there that feel the same way. My boyfriend has slowed down considerably, and hides his tracks much better, now, but it doesn't stop the fact that I don't trust him while I'm gone.
59285
Trust is sometimes not there.  He might have done a lot of mistrusting things in his lifetime.  I know one someone who always did not trust his girlfriends.  The reason was that he always cheated on them.  If you cheat, you have a habit of thinking others cheat on you.
1139282
I like the last answer, by DKlyde - it shows how wrong your thinking is.  Instead of asking how to get him to trust you, ask why the heck you want this guy to trust you.  The answer is that you "love him so much."  That is not a good answer, and you need to learn that now, rather than later.  Love is both a feeling and an act of the will - you decide to act in a loving way even when you don't feel like it.  He is NOT SHOWING YOU HE LOVES YOU.\n\nHere is what you NEED TO DO TO FIX things.  Find a third person you and your bf both respect, preferably an older friend or parent or counsellor or therapist or minister.  Talk with your bf with this person just listening at first, tell him that you don't like feeling "in the wrong no matter what."  If he agrees to try to change and trust you more and respect your privacy, THEN GIVE HIM A CHANCE.\n\nIf bf thinks he is perfectly right and has done nothing wrong, then you have to accept that he is wrong for you.  It will hurt because you have fallen in love with him, but you will be FAR BETTER OFF in the LONG RUN by taking care of yourself, than if you stick around hoping things will get better - THEY WON'T!
895215
Hopefully the feeling is mutually (meaning your boyfriend loves you). If so, you have absolutely nothing to worry about. If your boyfriend is a mature individual he will not listen to outside sources. If he feels that something may be true than he should come directly to you...go directly to the source. Just remember people are petty. People will do anything and everything to get what they want...especially if they are involved with someone else...you always want what you can't have.
763234
In a relationship, jealousy equals insecurity. When you find yourself feeling jealous, you need to stop and ask your self what you are insecure about in this relationship. Is it his feelings for you that you arent sure about? Do you think he's untrustworthy? Do you feel like you aren't good enough for him? Have you been cheated on or left for someone else before? A lot of times, it helps just to identify where these feelings of jealousy are stemming from, and then you can understand them better and how to deal with them.
231708
Long distance relationships are the worst and the hardest. Are you sure you can be faithful to him? Are you sure you will be faithful to him? My advice? Remain friends and see other people. The longer the distance the harder the heart aches.
221736
girl this has just happened to me and you shouldn't feel guilty. i felt guilty but i really should have. Why don't you try talking to them or telling your friend thats here if he really likes you he will wait until you're sure. and the long distance relationship i was in i cheated on him and i felt so guilty i told him about it and we broke up. Maybe you should ask him to take a brake and set up a date you will become bf/gf on that specific date. That will show you if you know what you have or not. Maybe this will help and maybe it won't but this is what i would do if i relieved this.
381525
You need to get a grip on yourself. This kind of behavior is what drives people away. Trust is key in a relationship. If you do not trust him and he has given you no reason to doubt him, then you need to let it go.