Have you assisted, per their request, a dying person end their life?
94974
I am a nurse.. i would never assist someone to die but i did stop someone's morphine so they could go!! i felt horrible the next day i was working in Labor and Delivery.. it was hard
33713
I gather from your details that this has actually happened. In truth, there are a lot of signs that can tell you that this might happen, however, there are many times that the person doesn't really exhibit the signs & just does it. I don't know how well I'll do this but I'll try to explain:\n\nI've read studies that say that, if a person wants to be stopped from committing suicide they will do things to tip off their friends & family but, if a person really does want to do it, they just do.\n\nI don't know how much weight I give to this theory, however, in every situation that I have had a relatively close perspective on, the person in question went in one of these two directions. In two of the cases, no one was aware of any problems & there had never been any outward sign of depression.\n\nWhat makes it hard for the friends left behind is that, as a friend, you feel like you didn't do something that you should have to be there for her as a friend when, in fact, there may not have been anything that you *could* have done to help. No matter how hard you try, you can't make someone better or happier if they don't wish to be so.\n\nThis may not help you much but I can share something from my own life that might serve as a corrallary to what you are going through. My father passed away at only 52 from a massive coronary. He'd been back & forth to the doctor from years & been told what he needed to do & not do but he just wouldn't listen. He was remarried with two boys but I - his only natural child - was the only one he ever confided in about doctor's visit, not feeling well & such. Well, when he died, I knew I'd done my best to get him to take care of himself but, after ten years of living with his death, I finally realized that he just didn't want to give up those things that made him happy. I could cajole, complain, nag & beg but I couldn't make him realize that his long life was worth giving up some things. It made me realize that we really can;t force someone to do anything because, if they truly want something they will find a way to get it, even behnd your back. Unfortunately, this is just the way life is & sometimes you can't help someone.\n\nIn your case, it sounds like she didn;t want to be here for some reason & felt so strongly about it that she took care of the issue herself. There probably weren't really any signs to see or else her parents would likely picked up on something as well. You said she seemed to have it all together; you might have been seeing exactly what she wanted you to see. You can't beat yourself up over it - though we always do when we grieve - if she didn't give you any signs then there was really nothing you could have done.\n\nGood luck & be gentle with yourself through this time...
715244
The choice : I  mean everyone should have the choice to take this decision .I believe in life and that miracles are always possible .I ve been against before but there are cases where the patients are suffering a lot , where the idea of the death is the only way to calm the pain .Is it fair to let those people live , enduring the worst just because Euthanasia is considered as a crime and on the otrher hand do we have the riggt to kill , its a difficult question.Anyway the choice must be given to those person to take their own decision.But are the able to take the right decision in their situation?´i ´m sory i didnt answer the question!
559338
Sounds a little fishy to me, however, if it is a close relative or someone they really cared about they might realize that person would be gone forever, and needed that time to deal with the reality of it all.  When my sister died I didn't want to leave her side at the funeral home because I had lost my best friend, and I was so distraught I wanted to be near her as long as possible.
573692
Sure, if I'm saving someone's life after I am dead, that would be a kind thing to do. Oh the irony of it all!
658325
I was in a similar situation years ago.  I posed this same question to a Buddhist monk and he thought about it a while and said to say that if you kill yourself, I must die too.  The problem with that is if the lady is mentally unstable, she might take you up on that.  Better get to a counselor with her to work through her issues.
491530
assisted suicide, actually
204605
I would say no.  Some people just take advantage of those kind enough to help them out.  You have to know when to say enough is enough.  Asking them to help out after you've helped them out is the right thing to do.
703185
Yes.  I have.  It was someone I knew, that I had grown up with.\n\nShe used to take the bus to this one shopping center, always in July, to get half price bathing suits.\n\nWhen I saw her, I was talking to her, and that is what she was doing.  I didn't think that much about it, but there was a rumor for a long while saying she had died.\n\nShe got off the bus.  The person with me said, Oh boy, who were you talking to?\n\nI found out later she had died by then.
3321
yes, i have.\nshortly after my grandmother passed away, which i had a very hard time with. i had a dream in which she came to me and said that i needed to let her go and that she waould stay with me this one last night but then i needed to say good bye. the next morning when i woke up she was standing at the end of my bed i reached for her, but she was gone. i have not seen her since. some people say i was still dreaming and who knows i might have been, but in my heart i believe she was there with me.
971338
My aunt passed away this past year from breast cancer, and I don't know if this is something that it unique to the city they live in, to breast cancer, or to terminal patients, but there was a hospice that helped them (her, her husband, my cousins, and my grandparents) through the entire thing, providing counseling for her and for her "co-survivors" (the people in your life whose lives are affected during diagnosis, treatment, and possibly death), being an advocate for her with the various doctors and hospitals and treatment centers, helping them find financial resources when things got really bad financially, and when the end was near, she went to live there and was cared for in a really kind, peaceful, gentle way (unlike at a hospital, where understaffing can happen, the hospice is small, and the people are trained for that particular work...  they became close friends through the whole ordeal).\n\nIt's not just with the elderly.  Depression in cancer patients and families of cancer patients is understandable and common.  If you don't know of any resources, start out talking to his oncologist (or a nurse at the oncologist's office, since a lot of times, the doctors can be rushed and not all doctors have a great bedside manner, while nurses are the ones who are actually THERE for the whole thing).  Express your concerns and ask if there are any centers, hospices, or other resources available to help them work through this time in their lives.  I'm sure they'll be able to get you to SOMEONE who could help, or who could tell you what the next step towards getting help would be.\n\nAll that aside, when my own grandfather had cancer, he was very trying to be around.  I say that, and I hope you realize that I love him very very much, and I understand that it's COMPLETELY normal for him to be upset, and all that, but realistically, yeah, he was difficult to be with.  Basically, for 65 years, he had been a robust man, working two jobs at time, a manager or supervisor in just about any job he had, he loved to be around people and to travel and to work out in his yard and all that, then he got sick, and was dependant on his wife (a woman my husband likes to tease about being the only 65-year-old woman to maintain her birthweight...  she's TINY) and his daughters and doctors, and he didn't have the energy he wanted to keep up with grandkids and go to church and he couldn't travel anymore.  Basically, he just had to hand over his "I Can Take Care of Myself" card, and I think his pride was hurt more than his body at that time.  So we'd bring him food, or help him across the house, and he was grumbling the whole time, not because he was bothered by us or he didn't think we were taking good care of him, but because he didn't want to be taken care of at all.  That frustration on top of everything else came out loud and clear.  Understand that your grandfather is a grown man (even if at times he has to be cared for like a child) and try to find ways to respect him that way.  In some ways, taking care of an ill grandparent is like taking care of a three-year-old.  They have to reliquish control, but they won't do it happily.  Sometimes the best thing to do is to let them think they have control, even over seemingly small things.  \n\nI'm sorry to hear of your grandfather's illness.  Take care.
794993
Whether a person chooses to take their life prematurely or not, is their decision.  As a nurse for 35 years, I have seen many people die a slow painful death, so I can understand the desire to end ones suffering.  I couldn't  do it though, because I would feel there must be a reason for me to stay on this earth a little longer.  To shorten my life,  I would become  accountable to a higher power.  The one who gave me life in the first place and really is the only one who has the right to take mine away.
837935
Pulling the plug on my Mom when she was brain dead.\n\nCoach
594177
No. It is actually very selfish. I've been there. When you truly think about it, it would hurt so many people whether you think so or not. People can set up a "do not resuscitate" order so if anything should happen, doctors can not keep them alive, however, euthanasia is out of the question. There would be too many unhappy people euthanizing themselves just because. Life takes some work, but it will be worth it in the end.
100133
Obviously, I wouldn't be able to give you a firsthand account, but my mother died last autumn from cancer. I was with her the last 3 weeks of her life day and night and I can tell you what it was like when she died. \nWhen my mother was released from hospital to be able to die at home she got better for nearly two weeks, eating a bit more every day, feeling better and stronger and being able to enjoy a beautiful time with her family. \nSome three days before her death she started being in pain especially at night. The first night we did not have efficient painkillers and it was terrible. She suffered very much. We luckily were getting in touch with a hospice service next day and she was supplied with a little pump that would release morphine into her bloodstream on demand when she needed it. I do not believe she could have died at home otherwise, the pain was very bad and watching her suffer was nearly impossible. With the pump she felt fine. I do not believe she was more than uncomfortable until she finally died. \nThat first night of pain her breathing changed. It became shallower and louder, as if she could not get enough breath. It was a bit hacking and irregular. It staid like this until her death three days later. She did not seem in pain or terribly inconvenienced by it and did not complain of not having enough air. \nThe last day of her life her legs were filling with water, she was swelling up from her toes to her hips. Again, this did not seem to cause discomfort. It is quite typlical when you die. \nThe evening of the beginning of her death her breathing got more laboured and she asked us to help her sit up straight and pull her arms up front so she could breathe more deeply - at that point she felt a shortage of breath. \nShe wasn't in any pain and was awake til her brother and my older sister came to see her, we had called them in the morning to call them to her deathbed. After she had seen them and said hello and goodbye, she lost consciousness at aroun d 10 pm and never regained it til she died at 10 am. \nThe dying itself was terrible but I believe mostly for us, not for her. Even though her body was destroyed by cancer it did not want to give up and her heart remained strong and just kept on beating. Her breathing was hard and would occasionaly stop but always start again. 11 hours after she lost consciousness did her heartbeat finally get weaker and her blood pressure dropped. Slowly her body temperature sank  and then she finally died. \nShe had not been alone at any point in the last three days of her life and after talking with all the others that were around in that time (half of my family are doctors and nurses) her death was as quiet and peaceful as you can hope for. \nI am sorry if this is not assuring, but it didn't feel terrible either. \nI wish you and your mother all the best
301509
Quill said he supports helping a patient make decisions, comparing it to being a midwife through death. He said the term midwife captured what people were looking for in the last stage of life.\n\n"Assisted dying, in any form, is a last resort," Quill said.\n\nQuill said he advocates hospice care, in which a good doctor-patient relationship is key. He said numerous qualities make hospice care better than hospital care.\n\nThere is a greater emphasis on the relief of suffering, a higher priority placed on the individual, a patient is given choices, there is more aggressive treatment of symptoms and patients aren't abandoned, Quill said. He said hospice care should be standard for all dying patients.\n\nMost terminally ill patients do not receive the type of care they need. Doctors should be better educated in care of the dying, Quill said. He pointed out that most doctors are licensed with little or no background in pain management. \n\n"Helping people die is a legitimate part of medicine," Quill said.\n\nQuill was one of the first doctors to admit he had prescribed enough medication to help a patient die. During the speech, Quill presented a video interview with one such patient, named Cynthia.\n\nCynthia was a graduate student in her mid-30s when she was diagnosed with gastric cancer, a disease with no known successful treatment.\n\nShe became Quill's patient and elected to go through an unlikely experimental treatment to fight the disease, even though it meant spending the end of her life in a round of tests and surgeries. Cynthia also decided she didn't want to die in pain.\n\n"I don't want to die resisting. I want to be at peace," Cynthia said on the video.\n\nWhen the surgeries failed, Quill prescribed an increase in pain killers. Cynthia died quietly a few days later.\n\nQuill counseled Cynthia through her death.\n\nIn the video, Cynthia said she knew she was more than just a disease to Quill, and she knew he wouldn't abandon her, even if the surgeries failed.\n\nVacco vs. Quill was the first physician-assisted suicide case argued in front of the U.S. Supreme Court. Quill advocated a patient's right to die in extreme cases. The Court ruled terminally ill people do not have the right to die.\n\nThe Court also reaffirmed the right of a patient to refuse treatment and gave a green light for states to make their own laws about physician-assisted suicide, Quill said.
451244
A very close friend of mine, Teresa, died a while back from cancer. She was young, just starting a teaching career, full of life, enthusiasm and love for people, especially kids. She was diagnosed with cancer a few days before her wedding (not to me) and died a few weeks after their first anniversary.\n\nAt her funeral I absolutely expected God to raise her from the dead - God had done it before after all. Then we were at the graveside and still no knock on the coffin lid.\n\nWhen her coffin was lowered into the ground and I tossed my flower in on top my world collapsed. I hated God with an absolute passion. I cursed God, swore at God, I told God just how big of a b*stard "he" was. I kept going to church but I wouldn't sing or pray (although every time I abused God I was actually praying, ironic hey). I went to church for the sake of appearances - I was a longstanding youth leader at my church. I kept asking all of the WHY questions but didn't get a single answer.\n\nEventually (a couple of months later), still in my anger and bitterness, God spoke to me (understand that however you like) and said ... \n\n"Will you trust me even if you don't understand?"\n\nI didn't expect that response from God. But here I am a few years later, finally able to talk about Teresa without crying and studying to be a pastor of the Lutheran church. \n\nTime does help to heal these wounds. But being honest with God, even in your anger or confusion is also helpful. Ultimatly you probably won't get an answer to the why questions. But I hope that you can eventually receive the peace that God is offering to you in your grief.