what do i do about my daughter shes out of school because shes afraid of another girl @ school who is violent?
98131
I think that the administration at your daughter's school would want to know about this problem. With all of the school shootings in the last couple of years, I don't think they would want something like this to go unresolved. It's best to nip it in the bud before anything major happens. Hopefully, your daughter's school has some kind of plan in place on dealing with these issues, which has probably come as a result of the Columbine tragedy. If your daughter's school is not equipped to handle such conflicts, you may want to share with them the play "Bang Bang You're Dead." It is a play dedicated to ending school violence. Your daughter's school needs to get its students active AGAINST school violence. There should be zero tolerance for it!! Having the students put on this play could be a start to the education process.
964576
This is terrible situation, but I know you already this.  I feel really bad for you and your son because I do know what it feels like to be at your wits ends.\n\nI suggest you continue to talk to the people at the school, but also send them letters identifying the problems along with the date and time of the incidents.  This will create a paper trail.  A paper trail will help you in two ways:  documentation so that when you take this matter to the school board or higher no one can say I didn't know; and, in the unfortunate event that the bullying gets so severe that you must seek legal action.\n\nAlso, did you try contacting the parent of the other child involved.\n\nI wish the best for you this is a really tough situation and it is hard to think when you and your son are being impacted so greatly.\nRegards...
584462
Definitely do tell people about it! My daughter was bullied at school, and hated life until she was moved. Talk to the school, BUT if they do nothing, then go right to the state teaching board (not 100% sure how things work in the US) but if the school does nothing, go right over their heads. My daughter had proof that this other student had stolen her wallet, yet the school didn't want to know about it, or the many other ocassions.
1115491
Why don't you just shoot her now?  Don't send your daughter to boot camp; sounds like you've been that route and look how your kid came out- try something new- talk to a real counselor and find out what it is she really needs.
210580
Well, first of all, look at what you're scared of. Are you scared of the change? Friends? The teachers? The homework? Then ask yourself why you are scared, make a list of the things that scare you about them. Once you have that down on paper, it will seem like less of a challenge, and now you have a list of things you can work on to overcome. Dropping out is the easy thing to do, and really, no one gets far in this life without hard work. I know, last thing you want to hear, but you will not regret futhering your education. If you can absolutely not stand your classmates, talk to a counselor or a teacher and see if there is any way you can do independent studies/online/Saturday classes. There is always a solution to everything.
364286
Your daughter does not need to be talking to this wierdo.I've never heard of this particular gang but have seen a few like them.This guy probably needs attention that he's not getting at home.Unfortunately,some of these gangs will take advantage of that.KEEP A CLOSE EYE ON YOUR DAUGHTER!!!Yes I believe you should notify the school that a teenage boy talking about gang activity has approached your child.That way they can keep an eye on other students.
355002
That's a tough one.  She's 13, so there's no way of saying you were doing something else that she'd believe.  You might have to bring her to some kind of family counseling place so she can let it all out.\n\nIn the meantime, please make sure your door is locked.\nHope your daughter gets over it soon.
882363
file an unruly on her , that way if any violence happens they will see that you are trying to get help for her. they will place her on probation, give her community service and send her to anger management. hopefully she'll learn that there are consequences for her actions and some sense of responsibility on how to deal with other people. if she goes out in the world with that attitude she is going to get hurt or wind up in jail for hurting someone else. you also may get some counseling established so they can find out why she has so much animosity towards you and you can gain control back in YOUR household. good luck. I'll keep you in my prayers.
529775
Hi Vashes,\n\nChildren of quite a young age cannot be dealt with force. \nYour daughter needs to start giving respect to her school and studies. This kind of discipline does not sprout all of a sudden. Your child will generally follow your example. Maintain a disciplined decorum in your home. Things like "get up at 6", " Fold your bedspread", "Brush your teeth", "Place your brush in the stand", "eat at the dining table", "study at your study table", etc should be slowly inculcated in her. You should give her own private space where she can maintain her things and also study. This kind of ambience would influence the kid and would help her respect her school and studies. Link her performance with rewards like " a trip to the amusement park", "holiday in a farm", etc. Its a slow process and instead of commanding her to do all these things, estabilish it to her that its her responsibilty to take care of these things.\n\nRegards\nVj
93864
Yes, and you should do it immediately.  Most likely he himself has been abused, so some intervention is needed now.  You also need to get your daughter in counseling - immediately.  Personally, though some may think it is drastic, I would change my daughter's school and probably drop her off too.  How would you feel if you had to see someone that did that to you everyday?
988917
This is a much more difficult question than the posters are making it out to be.  Sure, it sounds logical to just go to the teacher, the other kids parents, the principal, etc., but the answer is not always this easy.\n\nYou have to realize, if you do this, you are putting your child at a greater risk for continued harassment, additional harassment and possibly even physical retaliation, which is much more likely than parents would like to believe.  The worst thing in the world, especially for a boy, is to be labelled a "nark."  His life will go from bad to worse.  Kids will tease him about it; His classmates won't trust him; Kids will be unwilling to get close to him, etc.  \n\nIt is possible that school officials could just keep a closer eye on it and bust the bully without the bully ever knowing that he had been "ratted" out.  That would be the best case scenario.  \n\nIf you call the bully's parents, 1 of 4 things can happen and 3 of them are not good and the good one is highly unlikely.  You have to realize that, just like you, the bully's parents first reaction is to stick up for their child.\n\n#1 The bully's parents could laugh you off\n#2 The bully's parents could get real defensive and turn against you and your child\n#3 The bully's parents could side with you, tell their kid about the conversation and then the bully would punish your child for your actions\n#4 The bully could get in so much trouble that he straightens out and doesnt tell anyone about it (how likely do you think that is?)\n\nThe worst thing you can do is encourage your child to beat up the bully.  Violence is never the answer.  How effective and realistic is comebacks, avoidance, etc.?  I guess it depends on the situation.  I don't know that it will work though.\n\nWhere is the bullying taking place?  What is the relationship between the kid and the bully?  What does the kid say is happening?  Does the kid give you details?  Details are very important, because there could be a logical solution to the issue.\n\nFinally, the advice you are looking for...older children...say 7th grade and up, (my experience is with the fellas so I come from that angle), are striving to be viewed as adults.  The guys want to take on a mans role; Do the right thing; Help people; PROTECT PEOPLE.  (I realize not all 7th and up guys are like this, but you can use your judgement to find the good ones)  Get a fella that is a little older that you have some sort of relationship with, whether it be a coaches kid, family friend, etc.  Tell him that your son is having an issue and it would be a real help if you could, "look after him, show him the ropes, help him along with the fellas, make sure he gets along alright."  Hopefully, the younger kid looks up to this dude (younger guys usually do, pretty much, no matter what), tell the older kid, "my son really looks up to you.  It would mean alot to him, but (and this is very important) it would mean just as much to me.  You are a good kid.  You are a good role model for him."  This way you are empowering a young man. He will take ownership in the situation.  He will watch out for your kid, and the bully will want nothing to do with an older kid, matter of fact, he will probably think he is down right cool and want to be his friend instead of foe.
83112
I went through a very similar situation and after months of being told by the teacher and the principal that there must be a problem at home, I found out another child was having the same problems mine was.  The other mom and I got together and came up with a plan.  We each got our child to tell us why the other child was having so much trouble.\n\nTurned out there was another child in the class bullying and intimidating ours so badly that there were days they spent all their time huddled under their desks.  \n\nWhile I still could not get the school to admit to a problem, I did find a sympathetic vice principal who allowed my child access to her office at any time he felt he could not handle being in the class anymore.  \n\nIt wasn't the perfect solution but it got us to the end of that school year and I made sure I had some say in what class he went into the next year.  Things improved after that.  \n\nIf you truly are not having discipline problems at home and the only place there really seems to be a problem is at school, then I would be looking very hard at why there is a problem at school.  Don't take the teacher's word for anything...that teacher may very well be the problem.  Talk to other parents and find out if anyone else is going through something similar to what you are.  Make sure your child understands that you know there is a problem and you are doing your best to help.  Let him know he has you on his side.  \n\nGood luck.  Sure would like to know the outcome of this one.
459756
Have her talk to someone at her school (teacher, counselor, etc.) -- they have to take action if she reports abuse. Separately, she can call child protective services or, for an emergency situation, the police.
1130859
You can do a few different things - tell her the truth that you are scared of her dad, make up some reasons why you can't stay over,  or just invite her to your house even though your parents think she's weird.\nHonesty is usually the best way to go - you could try staying at her house one night and seeing how it is - if you don't like it you don't have to stay there again, it's just one night.  You might be surprised to find that her dad is a really nice person or if worse comes to worse and you still don't like him then just tell her the truth and don't stay there anymore.\nJust because your parents think she's weird doesn't mean you shouldn't have her over to your house.
206039
Is this happening at and around school?  Most bullying seems to happen as part of going to school and while in school.  And how old is your daughter?  Those are important factors.\n\nDo try to teach your daughter be assertive, but she is probably not strong enough to fight the bully physically as some posters have suggested ... bullies don't pick on kids who are stronger than them. Bullies don't go away. It is true that bullies are cowards, and tend to back down when people stand up to them, but bullies also seek revenge. I don't know how old your daughter is, but this problem needs to be dealt with. Unless bullies are stopped, they tend to get worse and worse, not better. \n\nIf this is happening at school, most schools have someone you can go to so that some adult there will know about what's happening and can begin to stop it - a guidance counselor, a teacher you and she both trust, the principal, someone. If this bully has actually attacked your daughter, go to the police. The bully can be charged. No matter what the bully has said about not telling anyone, TELL someone else. \n\nHere are some well researched tips, designed for the kids, on dealing with bullying that may help you and your daughter:\n\n1. If you are bullied, TELL. Telling is not being weak or being a coward or tattling. It is helping to protect everyone from that bully.  Your daughter is brave to tell.\n\n2. Tell someone you trust who can do something - teacher, counselor, parent, some other adult. You CANNOT handle this yourself. \n\n3. Do not retaliate or get angry. This could make things worse.\n\n4. Respond evenly and firmly or say nothing and walk away.\n\n5. Develop good strong friendships and support each other. Bullies tend to pick on kids that they think don't have many friends or kids they think others won't hlep.\n\n6. Act confident.\n\n7. Try to stay away from places the bully will be if that is possible. For example, take a different route to school.\n\n8. Avoid unsupervised areas of the school.\n\n9. Try not to bring expensive items to school that might attract the bully's attention and that he might try to take or break.\n\n10. To gain confidence and feel stronger and feel that you can take care of yourself, enrol in a self-defence program if one is available, or a martial arts program or something like that. Self defence programs teach you some very good skills, very quickly.\n\n11. Join a group, such as Scouts, a cadet program, or something like that, so that you have a special group of friends who will support you. \n\nGo to the website www.bullying.co.uk/ which has lots of information for parents and for kids about bullying and about some things you can do. I think this website might really help you figure out some good positive things you and your daughter can do to deal with this.\n\nI hope this helps you. Good luck with sorting this out. Don't give up. There is help out there. Take care.
1022953
Just let her talk about it. Accept everything she says about the incident as valid & acknowledge her point of view. Let her talk about her feelings of fear & allow her to repeat herself as often as she wants. Bedtime will seem like a trial for a while, but by telling you, she is putting all her feelings of fear into a safe place so she can relax & sleep. Let her enjoy talking to you at bedtime. Time will come when she no longer needs to talk as she settles down to sleep. In years to come you & she will be glad you had those regular quality times together....
627346
Who's the child?  Be the bigger person and move on.  You will only make the problem worse.  If you really can't handle her bossiness, talk to your teacher or couselor.  Good Luck!