is it ok for a man to do the household chores while the woman works for a living?
94407
It is definitely OK -- in fact, more than OK. If it works for you and your wife, and you are able to support your family that way, then more power to you! Don't listen to anyone who suggests that this will be harmful to your kids (or future kids, if you don't have them yet), or that it implies you are a lazy man, or that your wife is a soul-less, ambition-driven-only woman. Those ideas are very narrow-minded!\n\nThe thing is that individuals and situations vary greatly. Not all women prefer to do housework over working outside the home. Not all men want to work outside the home. I know several men who are better at domestic duties than I will ever be. I know women who would die of boredom if they are in the home all day, and whose potential is much better put to use in an office or in their careers. \n\nMy husband's dad was a stay-at-home father. At one point, he and my mother-in-law both worked. But when her career really took off, it became much more logical financially for her husband to tend to the house and the kids, instead of earning a lower salary and then paying for someone to help out with the house. This way, a parent was home with the kids, and my husband turned out wonderfully. He never witnessed sexism in the home. He grew up thinking that women and men are equal, he wasn't biased with any stereotypes, and it wasn't until he got to school that he learned that people thought girls were "weaker." In fact he always viewed women as the more powerful and intelligent of the sexes, ha! And, may I say that he is so hard-working and has a great career. His parents are also very happy and still together. They are two of the greatest people you could meet.\n\nI think it takes a very special couple to work out this kind of arrangement -- the man has to be very confident in his masculinity and his choices, and the woman has to be assured in her knowledge that her working outside the home doesn't make her any less of a woman. If this arrangement works for you, I think that's something to be proud of, not ashamed of!
1073056
No. \n\nCleaning my apartment  would be good.\nHaving someone else clean my apartment would be better.\n\nNeither is right -- neither is wrong. \n\nThe same principle can be applied to moral situations.
301137
I think it is more about putting equal investment into the relationship and the household. There is no such thing as a clean division of labor for this. The fact is that is takes a lot of work on the part of everyone to maintain a household, let alone one with so many children. \n\nFirst and foremost, you should both be very aware of how eachother are feeling when it comes to being overwhelmed. Obviously having another child is something the two of you agreed to pursue, so you are both obligated to put in the work to make it a success. What you probably need more than housework is emotional support. \n\nI suggest making a major effort in opening up the communication lines with your husband. You will need to rely on each other to maintain sanity, so make that your goal as opposed to getting him to agree to some amount of housework. You could also frame it in terms of demonstrating for your children how everyone contributes to making the house work.\n\nBest of luck!
161533
According to my reading Islam considers men and women to be equal.  Women may work outside of the home as long as their position is not in direct contradiction to the dictates of their faith.  Women retain the right to use their earnings as they see fit and to educate themselves.  According to the Quran "And their Lord hath accepted them, and answered them: Never will I suffer to be lost the work of any of you,be he male or female: ye are members of one another..." To grow intellectually is the duty of every Muslum, man or woman. Anyway food for thought...
320313
They are not nice. A woman loves to have a man help espically if she is working outside the home. Even if she is a stay at home person, she needs your help. If I were only years and years and years younger, I would snap you up. Stay as you are,
69770
Mostly it is the way people are brought up that gives them the idea that a woman's place is in the home.  Psychology has a lot to do with that thought.  Everyone has different backgrounds and experiences in life that make them agree or disagree with that debate.  I as a woman dont feel that this statement is necessarily true and feel that a man has the same responsibility over the home as his wife does.  But like I said it all depends on how one was brought up and what ideas they developed on the issue.  For instance, my grandfather made the kids do everything in the house and would ask them to let my grandmother rest.  My mother then developed the idea that she should be a helpful housewife, unlike her mother.  My father, seeing that my mother did everything in the house, never lifted a finger in the house.  I grew up thinking how unfair that was of my father and believe that both should clean up around the house and look after the kids as well as both have the responsibility to work and pay the debts.  Thankfully my husband feels the same way!!!  LOL  We both make a mess, we should both pick it up!  We both spend money, we both should earn it!!
659096
Well, it is a very delicate question. From a female's point of you, yes. However, realistically, biologically a woman needs a man to be much stronger and more productive. Even in our modern life. As a woman gets pregnant, she needs her husband to work and earn more money as she stays home.
306698
It really depends on your financial situation.  I'd say that you should have maid service as often as you financially can.  One one hand, you are allowing someone the opportunity of earning money and you are receiving an important service.  On the other hand, if you are a normal middle class person, you don't want to put yourself in a situation where your clean house takes precedence over other, more important needs.  For me, once a week works out well because I still take care of my home and I just have the maid do the "tough" jobs that I can't do as often as I'd like due to other responsibilities, but I don't have to spend so much money that I am beating myself up wondering why I paid for work that I could have easily done if I had been a little more productive and dreaming of all the other things I wish I had bought instead.  Its just a personal thing.  Figure it into your budget and decide how much you can reasonably afford and then hire her for that amount of time only.
28008
split up the chores but realize that it will never be 50-50. Have specific days you do specific chores,such as Wednesdays I do laundry, Thursday I clean the bathroom and Friday I clean the kitchen,etc. Have your husband help out on the days that you do the specific chores.
800969
i think its fine, if the couple are happy with it,,,, there are many jobs/roles that a family has need for,,,,, it doesnt matter who does what, as long as it gets done and no one feels pressured or limited to just role
961984
The life you are having now is your job. Even though you are a housewife, it also consider a job.
235881
THE CHICS ARE GONNA HATE ME FOR THIS ONE LOL!! \nListen, you are working hard so she can have a good life. You need to put your foot down now, before it's too late! As a wife, I expect my husband to do chores around the house. ...BUT NOT WHEN HE'S WORKING A 12/14/16 HR. SHIFT!!! He does as much as he can whenever he can, but everyone needs a break! I bet she likes to spend the money that comes in from those 12 hr. days...try cutting her off for a while, she'll catch on real quick! Relationships are about respect & comprimise. She needs to be willing to comprimise when it comes to chores, and to respect & appreciate your hard work...as you should appreciate hers (taking care of a child & your home).
578807
It's all to do with tradition.\nThroughout time men did the work (cavemen went hunting) and the women raised the kids and kept the house nice.\nIt's only been a recent thing that women can work and it is accepted where for hundreds & hundreds of years women could not work especially after marriage. Working was for men and men only.\nSo being a househusband is not traditional and is a new thing it always takes a while for new things to become usual and not strange.\nI admire your ability to cope as a househusband as it's a pretty thankless job and much harder than most men realise.\nYou have my respect
608399
Gone are the days when man used to earn more. Do not feel inferior that your wife is earning more than you do. Do with whatever amount that you can earn without having to worry and get along with your life. You will gain more request form her if you are prudent in the manner you manage with the little that you have got.....goddammit she is your wife man.
1011197
I agree.  I don't think women should do everything a man does. I believe is capable of doing a lot of things.  But a woman should be treated like a flower - delicate. and w/ respect.  And no men should not be nuns.
344258
Yeah I do work.  I am a housewife/mom.  And I clean houses part time on my own.  Yes, I do enjoy both jobs.  The cleaning houses is a tough job, but I enjoy it.  Unfortunately I will have to find something a bit less physical due to a car accident.  I just can't clean as many houses as I used to.
711546
You are both  working full time, but you have to go to the Laundromat, what a drag. Good Luck, you'll work it out.