WHO let the cat out of the bag???
84456
the same person who let the dogs out
467178
Pulling a rubberband from a cats butt.
577372
where did i get that cat?
762906
once upon atime thier was a cat and she was make fun of curiosity so curiosity killed it so by this way it cann't make fun of  him again :p
996403
So, your daugter is gonna have kittens finally?  \n\nDoes anyone have first pick of the litter??\n\n\nI wish you well..\n\nJesse
399518
sounds like a cat lady... that doesn't have any cats lol.  na she just wants to make it obvious she's up and well be "social" and say hey come on over lets watch reruns of the price is right from 1972... I don't think i need to spell it out for you any more.
237007
bc cats r dum and curiousity will alwasy kiil the cat lol
404757
A man left his cat with his brother while he went on vacation for a week. When he came back, the man called his brother to see when he could pick the cat up. The brother hesitated, then said, ''I'm so sorry, but while you were away, the cat died." \n\nThe man was very upset and yelled, ''You know, you could have broken the news to me better than that. When I called today, you could have said he was on the roof and wouldn't come down. Then when I called the next day, you could have said that he had fallen off and the vet was working on patching him up. Then when I called the third day, you could have said he had passed away.'' \n\nThe brother thought about it and apologized. \n\n"So how's Mom?" asked the man. \n\n"She's on the roof and won't come down."\n\n-----------------------\n\nA question had appeared in a student's medical examination which read: "List four benefits of breast milk." A student began to answer the question: 1. No need to bottle it. 2. Cats can't steal it. 3. Available whenever necessary. But the fourth point eluded him. \n\nWhen there were barely a couple of minutes before the exam ended, the fourth point flashed before his mind. So he completed the answer by writing: 4. Available in attractive containers.\n\n-----------------------\n\nA man had a habit of buying things immediately after reading the ads about the products in the paper. Naturally, his wife was not too happy about it. One day the man read an ad about a sale on steel-belted radial tires. He jumped up, exclaiming that he would quickly buy four tires while the sale was on. The wife complained, “I don't know what's wrong with you. You are going to buy four expensive tires when you've got a crappy old car?” \n\nThe man replied, “Don't make such a big deal about it! I don't complain when you buy new bras, do I?”\n\n-------------------------\n\nThere were three nuns talking and one nun said, "I was cleaning the priest's chamber, and I found some Playboy magazines under his pillow, so I burned them." The nuns looked at each other and the next one said, "That's nothing, I found a box of condoms in his drawer, so I poked little holes in them with a nail." The third nun suddenly jumped out of her seat and said, "Oh my god! I got to go."\n\n-----------------------\n\nGrandma & Grandpa are sitting on the porch, when all of a sudden Grandma slaps Grandpa. \n\n"That's for 50 years of the worst sex I've ever had." \n\nThey're both silent for ten minutes. Then Grandpa slaps Grandma. \n\n"That's for knowin' the difference."\n\n-------------------\n\nA medical student decided to study sexual dysfunction as his specialty. On his first day in the hospital, the chief doctor decided to show him around and to start teaching his new student about this area of medicine. As part of the training, the chief doctor decided to bring the student around to all the patients in his wing so the student could see firsthand some of the diseases. \n\nThe doctor opened the first patient’s door and the student was stunned to see the patient masturbating The doctor explained that this patient had a rare sexual dysfunction that if he didn’t have an orgasm every five minutes, he would go into traumatic shock. \n\nThe chief doctor proceeded to show the medical student different patients and carefully explained each problem so the student would understand well. \n\nFinally they came upon another room and when the doctor opened the door, the student was shocked to see a nurse performing oral sex on the patient. Confused, the student asked, “What disease does this man have?” “Oh,” said the doctor, “He has the same problem as the first patient, he just has a better health plan.”\n\n------------------------\n\nTwo gay guys are walking through a zoo.They come across the gorillas and noti
805669
Hope you feel better soon K.\n We had our cat "oscar", for a long time but old age crept up on it and we sadly had to have Oscar put to sleep. Everybody was really upset so i said i would bury the cat as soon as we got home, it was a dark cold wintry night. When i got up the next day my partner was looking out of the window crying her eyes out and calling me everything. As i looked out of the window i cringed, i had not buried the cat deep enough in the dark and its tail was sticking out of the ground as rigid as a stick with a Robin sat on top, embarrassing or what.
641412
Aren't you supposed to give her a raise for that? Wait... did she harm the cats in any way?
381577
They missed the garbage can?\n\nI have NO IDEA!
455833
Baby go to time out.Stop throw the cat around and clean up all that mess.
258668
a bag of peanuts is the answer
686493
looks like your cat typed the question!
849082
LOL\n\nBeen there!!  Get your cat to blow down your poophole - that pops it off your knob every time!
982418
Okay! Who let this lunatic out of his cage!
1155392
The funnist, one man told me he was sorry, he did not realise he was speeding because he was too drunk.  ( oh yea that one really helped him)\n\nThere cat got down around thier foot and they were afraid they would step on it, if they moved thier foot.