my close friend (a guy) wants to be my boyfriend. how can i tell him no without hurting his feelings?
89780
Be direct, no hints, and say it as soon as possible. He might be hurt, yes, but hey, people get hurt everyday, it happens, you deal with it, and move on, probably even stronger. \nSpill your heart out and tell him how you feel about this situation. Goodluck!
1088765
ok i have been through the same thing just tell your friends you like him and if they judge you they are not really your friends \njust let him know how you feel it is very hard to bring your feelings out there in the open but at least he knows that you are strong enough to actually tell him that but just  first go up to him and tell him that you would like to be his friend and ask him if that is ok and then as soon as you guys become friends you will grow into a more deeper relationship tell him what is on your mind and also let him know if he is doing something wrong but that is the only help i can give you doll face good luck
276330
Just tell him that you dont want to have a relationship and that you just want to be good friends!!  Good Luck?
612637
My honest opinion: Try to tell him that you are pre-occupied with work/schoolwork and rather remain good friends.\n\nIf the guy is really in love and you don't really like him (as a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship), you better tell him your true feelings. \n\nHe's gonna get hurt, but the truth has to be told for the 2 of u can move on.
324035
Try to gain his friendship first, then tell him how you feel.  If he feels the same way you would not have to wait too long.\n\nYou cannot make someone want to be with.
39705
you cant avoid hurting him just make it clean and simple, dont lose control, and be extremely clear on why( pull no punches). Never ask to be friends it's the worst thing a guy can hear because it sends mixed messages.
243811
Well, it is most likely impossible to do it without hurting his feelings.  The nicest way is to go out for dinner or do something special.  Be nice, and kindly tell him that it's not working out.  DON'T tell him over the phone or online. Tell him that you intend to continue being his friend, and also that you didn't want to hurt his feelings.\n\nIf you don't want to hurt his feelings, chances are there is still something you are feeling for him.  Maybe think over the relationship again and see if breaking up is the only way to deal with it.\n\nIf breaking up with him isn't the answer, talk to him about what your feeling and tell him that you want to work out your problems.  If it is meant to be, they will work out.\n\nGood Luck!
1048553
Well you could screen your phone calls, or you could just be honest and say that you like him as a friend but are not interested in him in the romantic sort of way.  And if he can accept just being friends why not talk to him on the phone.  And if you still don't want to talk to him on the phone after you've told him you just want to be friends, start talking to him like you would talk to one of your girl friends.  Most guys hate that they don't want to hear about some guy you think is cute or better yet talk about your menstral cycle.
833868
tell him "hey i am glad to hv a friend like u.. very sweet and romantic" and look on how he will handle the remarks.. if u did not get any hints.. say this one "hope to hv a boyfriend like u someday"..\ntry it.. and u'll get the things that u want 2 know
1052820
Like Nike says,  just do it.   There is no easy way to "let him down".   If you are really being truthful  (and I doubt that you are) about not wanting a bf right now,  just tell him that.  Give him the old line about "just being friends",  the kiss of death.  He may surprise you by saying something like he doesnt want a gf right now either.   Just because he's shy doesn't mean he's made of glass.  He is probably a lot tougher than you think.
85906
Just tell him that your really good friends with him and you dont want to harm the friendship. Or even better you could tell him that you dont love him you only see him as a friend and nothing more.
1079042
be up front with the situation to your friend and the guy so there will not be any expectations that you dont feel comfortable with. there is no reason for pressure. if you dont want a bf then dont have one now.
1022507
I think you have two choices:\n\n1. You can be nice and tell that man that you are not precisely sure because your friend likes him.\nIf she's yr friend, and you know she likes him, would nt it hurt her that you marry him? yes it will.\nBut friends do change and many when a man comes that they like. It happens over and over.\n\nNow do you want to be the nice one or the one thinking of yr life instead?\n\nYou also have a life. you have wishes, fantasies, plans, goals. Do you have marriage in yr plans? Do you like this guy and want to marry him and know it will work fo ryou two?\n\nWhat if you hurt yr friend and discovered that you also got hurt because of the guy not being for you precisly for a husbande? that would suck wouldnt it?\n\nSo evaluate yr life, yr goals, and how important it is to you whether to save yr friendship with yr girlfriend and ditch a guy's proposal or whether to accept the guy's proposal and risk loosing yr friend.\n\nThat is up to you. \n\nI cannot tell you  I'd do this or that because I am not in that situation myself. All I know is that I would go for love true love all teh way. Who is going to give you that? \n\nYOu are the judge on  yr life and yr particular situation , i've just given  you some examples of htings to think of before making a move and hurting you or others.\n\nIf yuo want to not gt hurt and not hurt him and not hurt her, avoid him altoghert and make all kinds of excuses so that he has no chance to talk to you again ever.\n\nhe will get the hint after 10 times you runnnnnn the other way when he shows up.\n\nRemembe3r that is if you dont want t o cause problems for anybody. but if you love this guy too or want him then uyou obviously should not do the last recommendation here.\n\nGood luck.
863196
You sound like your trying not to hurt this person by rejecting him, my dear, there are many ways you can be nice about rejection,  be considerate, dont be rude about it, smile when your rejecting him, but for goodness sake, be honest. As for the friend, depending on how close friends they are, I think I would leave going out with him for awhile, but explain this also to him, let him know that you feel at this time it would inconsiderate to his friend.  Maybe they dont discuss things because I would have thought if they are real friends, they would have discussed that either one was asking you out. That way if they are setting you up, in other words, sometimes men, boys, make stupid bets with each other to see who can conquer you first, it will also let them both know, you are not an easy target, but anyway, be friendly and pleasant to both of them, but be on your guard also.  Good Luck
712198
tell him you really value his friendship and that you don't want to lose it. but if he keeps pressuring you to date him when you don't feel that way it's going to make it harder to keep that friendship. \n\nalso if you have any girl friends that seem to meet his style, try hooking them up to really put home that you don't want him.
701636
Tell him the truth.  He is your best friend and that is not something you want to spoil, because boyfriends and girlfriends come and go, but best friends are forever.  But good relationships are built on solid friendship foundations so you never know, but at this point if you know you don't like him as a boyfriend, you will only hurt him and yourself and perhaps lose a friend if you take it down that road.  BTW, shorter doesn't mean anything, it is what is inside him that counts!
302552
Yes, go ahead and tell him now. Don't make him do the scariest thing in guy world - asking a girl out - only to be turned down. You can say "I am really glad that I have you as a friend, but I kinda get the feeling that you might want more. I love you and I don't want to hurt you, but I just don't feel anything but friendship for you."