two of my friends have told me that my boyfriend has raped them.should i believe them or not?
90800
Rape is much too serious to tolerate but it is also much too serious to trivialise by making false claims.\n\nI would encourage your friends to go the police. If they are telling the truth they will be happy to bring the boy to justice. Two accusers are better than one, and with their families' support they could begin to put the past behind them.\n\nIf they don't want to go the police (despite having the support of their parents) you should suggest to them that you will initiate the process. I would be suspicious of their claims if they refuse to bring any charges whatsoever.
603984
YES! You should. See, he had the guts to come and tell you, if he had done it on purpose, he would have tried to hide it from you. This girl took advantage of him and while it may have been his fault, the beer didn't help. Make it clear you aren't happy and you are going to forgive him this once. Perhaps give him suggestions to make it up to you, like taking you out to dinner or something extra special. Make him work a little bit to say sorry, but make sure you make it clear you forgive otherwise you may lose him. Everyone makes mistakes. To Err is human, to forgive is divine.\n\nPerhaps talk with this girl and make it clear that this was not okay. Tell her to back off and perhaps get your anger out on her, not your boyfriend, cause it sounds like she was just waiting for him to get drunk. Being drunk, you can't remember anything and everything becomes a bluf, so an offer of sex would be pleasing because you didn't know any better.\n\nFYI, don't become overly suspcious and break up with im if he looks at another girl (and I mean just looks). Men are attracted to all kinds of women and him looking at another girl and staying with you is a compliment of how he loves you more than physical attraction could bring.
838743
Leave things alone and let it work itself out. You haven't done anything so if you start trying to fix it then it's only going to make you look even more guilty. He'll learn in time that you never did any of the things she said and he'll have to be the one to find a way to make it up to you. Let him see that your a stronger person then what she is making you out to be. and he will respect you more for it. I would just let him know that your not guilty but your not going to start trying to prove it to him either, and that he'll have to work it out himself. If you start having to prove things to someone you will be having to prove things to them from now on. If his going to believe you then let nature take its course. As for her why are you even friends with her. Dump her and if you do date her ex so what, that's why his her ex.
659796
I recently had a promblem with my man last week,My man hit my friend's ass but she didn't tell me.Her girlfriend was the one who told me.My friend told everyone else but me.My man did not deny it, but he said it was not in a bad way.You see my man is a funny and very cool guy,and everyone gets along with him.He goes out of his way to please everyone and makes a joke out of everything.I've been with my man for 4 yrs.He's never even flirted with a girl since he's been with me.We go every where together and do everything together.He shows me nothing but alot of love and gives me so much attention.He will do anything for me and always helpsme out all the time.WE HAVE AMAZING SEX everynight and morning.He doesn't care who's around us,he will be hugging me and kissing me all the time.Now about my friend,I've only have known her for about 10 months,but i've known her girlfiend for 5 yrs.My friend has only been coming around and kicking it here at my house for about 4 months.She started getting to comfortable and start caring herself a little overboard with our guy friends.Suposely she's a lesbien,but she started acting like she wanted to jump in the sack with these guys.Later on when she started telling everone about my man hitting her ass, she stood out with one of my guy friends til 5am.She said that when my man did this to her ,she was traumatized.She still came around my house the next 2 days after this happend and i even left them alone in our bedroom together and she was joking around with him.Don't you think if she was so traumatized over this she wouldn't come to my house or she would have told me something what happend.Well the turn out to all this is,I forgave my man and I forgave my friend too. So both of them are in my life.I looked at both sides and did not side with either one but blamed them both.Did I do the right thing in staying with my man and keeping her friendship?I still feel disrespected from my man and hurt with my friend.I don't know if I should still allow my friend back to my house and if I should trust them both again cause at this point I can't trust know one at all!Should I just kick them both out of my life because once they hurt you or disrespct, they will in time do it again.WHAT SHOULD I DO!
1050875
The best way to find out is to ask him.  You've been with the guy two years, you have a right to know with you being at risk for HIV and STDs.\n\nBeing raped is a traumatic experience that is never forgotten\n\nHe could also have a bi-polar disorder.  Eiither way, it definitely sounds like he needs professional counseling though.
783855
Most states (though not all) have laws on the books that say if a person has sex with another individual who cannot give consent because they are unconcious or suffer from a diminished mental capacity they are guilty of rape. Period. So if the events occurred as you describe them, the person could be theoetically be held legally liable for rape. \n\nOf course the real issue is whether there is proof to sustain such an allegation in court. If the only evidence is one person's word against another's there is little chance that any case can or will be brought by the authorities. In this instance, evidence that would support your boyfriend's claim would include witness accounts or toxicology tests showing a high level of intoxicants such as alcohol or drugs in his system which would make it likely that he would not wake up during the event. If he did no obtain such a test immediately, it is too late now.  \n\nYour statement that she was 'pinning him down' is confusing however because it suggests he was actively trying to resist the woman when the premise of the question is that he slept through the sexual activity. \n\nYour best bet may be to call your local District Attorney and see what they advise you (and him) to do.
625612
yu should here both stories frist but if she was drunk then how does she know what he was doing but if he loves you then i don't think he would do that but why would you friend say that he did that to her  but i would talk to both at the same time.
565834
Personally, when I found myself in this very predicament, I made a conscious decision to approach the situation from an honest, adult perspective and expressed my concerns to both my friend and my boyfriend. \n\nBecause I trust my boyfriend, I explained how uncomfortable my friend's behaviour toward him made me, and asked that he help me by not reacting positively to her flirting. He was happy to do so, because he found her behaviour just as inappropriate as I had.\n\nI explained to my friend, privately, that, although I value her friendship, her flirting behaviour toward my boyfriend made me uncomfortable and was jeopardising the future of our friendship. I asked her to tone herself down and respect my feelings. When I discovered that she could not oblige me that, then I did, and still do, my utmost ensure that my boyfriend and my friend spend the least amount of time together as possible. It doesn't mean I don't see either of them less frequently, I just don't see them at the same time anymore.\n\nIt may be that my friend is jealous of the fantastic relationship between my boyfriend and me, and either consciously or not, wants us to split up so that I may be as miserable as she is in the relationship department... who knows. \n\nEither way, the key is to remain adult in your thoughts, and not give in to the childish part of yourself that goes "OMG what a b*tch I can't believe she's trying to steal my boyfriend I'm going to make her pay" or similar, and to trust the man you love.
1133565
don't always believe guys who are telling you that your bf fooled around cause true friends don't tell sometimes guys say that cause they want you but if you truly feel he cheated then there is a 99% chance he did. look for little signs like he tries kissing different, and see how they act around each other people always tell on themselves that way. and if they act strange then leave men are replace able
174335
This will probably be the hardest thing that your friend has to do, but she has little choice in having to face her boyfriend and tell him what has happened. Either way he is more than likely going to find out, and it would be easier if she told him right away instead of waiting, letting the tension and suspicion build, and then slamming him hard with it in the end. If he leaves her...well, I am sorry, but she was the one that decided to cheat on him in the first place. If she had been faithful to him, this would be another matter. She cannot blame him for being angry or hurt, or maybe deciding that he wants another girlfriend - one who will be loyal to him. \n\nAgain, I send my sympathies, but there is really little you can do about the situation. Just remember, the sooner she tells him, the better. Don't make this any harder than it has to be...and, I won't lie, this will probably be very hard.
586159
Forget him and just move on to someone else. You shouldn't be with someone like that anyway. And your friend is also immature what doing what she did, are you sure she was telling the truth. I wouldn't trust her again.
397945
Honesty is the best policy however sometimes it's needed. This theory could be used in an incident that happened to my friend. Here it goes. She hooked up with a friends ex boyfriend shortly after they broke up. A year later after that guy died in a terrible accident a mutual friend told her that they hooked up. That was something that would have been better left unsaid!
817755
IT doesn't matter what she wants to do, it's what she has to do. In order to get that guy off the streets she needs to report him. Chances are that it's too late to take him to trial and win because she let time go by so long. If she's really not willing to tell the police, she has to tell her boyfriend. You realize that she's being incredibly selfish by keeping it all in and only telling you. Her boyfriend is friends with this guy who hurt his girlfriend, and the boyfriend should know all of these things. Have her take a pregnancy test and if it comes out positive have her tell her parents and plan her next step. And she has to tell her boyfriend. There is no way around that, she has to tell him. He deserves to know and he needs to know that about his "friend". People who rape people are ill and they need help, and to be stopped.
1099071
You should talk to her, write her a note, send her a message on her answering machine, anything! From her view point that looks BAD! tell her everything that happened, and maybe if that doesn't work a buddy that she knows you were with can help you out and he could tell her what happened if she doesn't believe you. I'm sure if she really loves you she is just hurt and confused about the situation and will realize that you were telling the truth. Just try and explain no matter what, its pretty much up to her weather to believe you or not. Thats all I can say about that. I hope she believes you.
93564
How awful, I hope the victim is ok...an attempted rape can be nearly as traumatic as a completed assault. Your BF should ask to have the offending coworker transferred to a different crew until he goes to jail.
334671
boyfriends come and go, you said one u had a past w/ was one of your friends now, he didnt act like that. this ones not a keeper, your real friends see what we can or dont want to see, they are right, he is controling you , becaus eof him he pushes your choices, the ones that know whats right for YOU are the ones who will beat you up because the sme reasons. beware.. also i have found men who think like that are like that, why would he think that way if he wasnt, im 42 and a hair stylist, i have lived and hear "lifes lessons"
1076763
Well for one, a hospital wouldn't release that info to anyone... they cant by law, so maybe he is telling the truth.  However, if you don't trust him you probably shouldn't be with him. Any relationship from boyfriend/girlfriend, to friends, and even family is all built on trust, if you don't have that...its probably not gunna work out to well for you.