What is the best way to respond to a violent confrontation?
82181
This is hard to answer due to the fact that there is information missing about the specific circumstances, but I will give it my best...\n\nWith any confrontational situation, the first step is to acess the danger you may be in.  If the situation appears out of control or threatening to you, you should remove yourself from the environment and contact the authorities as quietly and discreet as possible.\n\nIf however, it is not immediately threatening or the person(s) are just very upset, your goal should be to diffuse the situation.  This is accomplished in most cases by allowing the person to vent a little and listening to their concerns.  Taking notes and responding with confirmational nods and "yeses".  After a short time, explain that you have no reason to doubt their claim and it would not hurt to apologize for their experience.  Then proceed to explain that you are going to do everythiing you possibly can to help them, but they need to remain calm and show you the same respect you are showing them.  This works with most people....if they can see that you care about their situation, they feel better....especially after they have vented and got some tension off their chest.  However, you mentioned that these are gang members?  Again, if they are threatening to you, I would not try to negotiate with them, I would contact the authorities.\n\nBe careful and good luck!
863069
There are usually three options\n\n1. Fight the problem\n2. Leave the situation\n3. Accept the situation\n\nHow much you are cornered will depend on which options are available to you.  When you cannot leave, you are then left with two options. Do nothing, or fight.  Quite often you will find that doing both will be your only answer.  How you fight, and with what weapons will determine whether you are successful or not.
965078
"Im not againts [sic] hitting people that are gay..." \n\nYeah, we get that.\n\n"But I gave him two warnings to stop, and its not like I could go anywhere since I was stuck in the car. Was I wrong to deck him for not stopping?" \n\nWould you have hit this person if it were a woman? Or would you have found a less violent way of affirming your personal space? Somewhere, you got the idea that it's acceptable to resolve your disagreements through physical violence. Big man you are.\n\n"Do you think that he was trying to hit on me?" \n\nI don't know. Maybe he just has extremely poor boundaries. People who can't keep their hands to themselves are obnoxious.\n\n"What would you have done in that situation?"\n\nI would have removed his hand and I would have given him a piece of my mind from the start. I also would have stopped making out with the girl because, not only did watching you feel her up seem to encourage him to feel you up, it's also rather gauche to make out in mixed company.
500649
f*ck him up. He is asking for an ass wh!ppin. I don't believe in violence except when it comes to standing up for my lady. If you can't do it. get somebody who can.
1166610
Short answer: \nRun.\n\nLong answer:\nYour goal in any violent encounter is to end the encounter with a minimum of damage to yourself.  This becomes exponentially more diffiicult when facing multiple assailants.  Assuming that there is no significant reason for you to stay (protecting another person who can't run, for example), escape should be your first objective.  Although tactics will change drastically from situation to situation, here are a few general tips.\n\n1) Don't panic.  This is a cardinal rule in any encounter.  Remaining calm and making intelligent decisions is the first step towards any victory.\n\n2) Use the terrain.  Try to arrange the situation in your favor.  When facing multiple opponents, don't allow yourself to be surrounded.  Try to move so that paths to your back are blocked off.  Hallways and corridors can help accomplish this.  ALWAYS leave yourself an escape route.  If it looks like you're being backed into a corner, find a hole and go through it.  If there's no hole, make one.  In many situations, it's helpful to establish a minimum distance that you're comfortable with and try to maintain it. \n\n3) Weapons are everywhere.  Use them.  Bottles, sticks, rolled up magazines, belts, soft drinks, furniture, and anything else that you can swing or throw at your opponent is a useful tool.  Anything that harms, stuns, blinds, distracts, unbalances or hinders the movement of your assailants can be used in your favor.  Use ALL of it.\n\n4) Keep talking.  It may still be possible to talk yourself out of the situation.  Even if combat is inevitable, talking hinders your opponents' abilities to communicate with one another.  Hopefully, it also focuses their attention on what you're saying, rather than thinking about what they're doing.  If you can out-think them, you've already won.\n\n5) Wait for the right moment.  Your opponents have the advantage of numbers.  Give yourself the advantage of surprise.  Assuming that the encounter didn't start with someone attacking you, use whatever time you have to formulate a strategy.  Carry out that strategy when the opportunity arises, not before and not after.\n\n6) Remember that your opponents are human.  They feel pain and they're afraid of injury.  As mentioned above, your primary goal is to end the encounter.  You don't have to kill everyone, or beat up everyone, or knock everyone out.  You just have to make them unwilling or unable to harm you.  To that end, breaking someone's fingers is just as effective as breaking their head.  Use the techniques that will accomplish your goals in the quickest possible manner.\n\n7) Respond with force.  There's no such thing as a fair fight, and your opponents have already broken any rules that may have existed by outnumbering you.  Don't be afraid to strike for the eyes, groin, and throat.  Try to avoid grappling at all costs.  You just can't grapple more than one person.  If someone grabs you, manipulate small joints.  It doesn't take much force to break a finger.  Use it.  The more quickly you take out your first opponent, the more likely the others are to abandon the fight.\n\n8) Pick on the little guy.  I think Madkins007's response was very helpful, but I disagree with him on this point.  If you have the option of picking your first target, take the one that's the easiest to bring down.  It's one less thing that you have to think about and one more reason for your opponents to leave you alone.\n\n9) Always keep in mind that you're not there to win; you're there to survive.  The best way to avoid any attack is not to be there when it happens.  To hell with pride or bragging rights.  End the encounter as quickly as possible.  If you see a way to escape, take it.  If one of your opponents wants to escape, let him.  Taking on multiple opponents is dangerous for even the most skilled fighters.  Escaping from the situation relatively u
245244
The best way to approach a person with a bad attitude is with a smile.  \n\nBe very respectful to this person as they sound like they may have an over-inflated ego and need it to be stroked often, hence the abuse.  \n\nStay focused on the reason you are approaching this person, even if this person tries to distract you to another subject.  \n\nBe polite and calm and most of all professional.  \n\nMost important, do not be intimidated by this person.  This person, considering what you stated about them, will most likely look at this as a weakness and not take you seriously if you behave intimidated.\n\nGood Luck!
47790
Tough one.  These scenarios usually become an issue over time, so a quick fix is usually not the best.  Aggressive individuals usually prey on others that allow "bullying" tactics.  As the aggressor sees the weakness, they get comfortable treating the person like that over time and expect a certain response.\n\nIf you want to curtail the behaviour, start standing up in a non-offensive manner and tell him why you can't stay late or work weekends or whatever.  Make excuses, even lie if you have to. Just make it difficult for him to expect the unreasonable.
899352
Agree with first answer..But...here is a different idea.  Have you thought about doing a really mature thing...stop this  behavior on both sides now.  Go to the person wth a sincere attitude and ask to sit down and discuss your differences without hostility?   Might be a real shocker to him/her.  I understand your desire for revenge...we all feel that way at times...but...be the BETTER person and make an effort to make peace.  Honestly, it works.  Someone did this for me a few years ago. Good Luck.
123451
wen ever u get angry, start counting reverse from 10 to 1, second method, if u are so angry that u wanna fight with that person, or may b u are just too disturbed, say to urself "that i"ll manage it after 10  minutes, after 10 minutes say after 1 hr, and so on", this might help. But these are the situations wen u get actually angry and then want to control the anger. Just to keep ur temep in check, try meditation, i keep fast once a week, and that day resolve not to get angry and it really helps, i am trying to keep my temper in check as well. Over the time, i have realised that it is a very CONSCIOUS effort, tell urself that u"ll control ur anger now onwards and this shd help, this has helped me as well. good luck!
649579
1. Admit you were wrong. Be humble.\n2. Say that you shouldn't have accused him.\n3. Admit you were out of line.\n4. You understand his reaction and can't blame him. \n5. What you're going to do going forward to avoid this.\nFinally, ask him to please accept what you're saying as an apoligy. You acted out of emotion and that wasn't right.
245074
Shut up is a strong word, if said when u really mean it. Wait till ur brains like getting cooked, you know, you just cant hold it anymore with this other person blabbing away, ur listening to things ure not interested in, you try ur best to be polite and still it continues and then...bang!!! u just cant take it anymore...and then i think its ok to say ''SHUDDAAAPPP !!''
148500
You need couples counselling. Crossing the boundry into physical violence during a fight is an extremely serious problem - one that won't go away by itself.
532631
Communication is the most positive tool to almost all conflicts.  Sit down in a neutral location and put your concerns out on the table, in a constructive way.  Don't use judgmental words or make accusations unless you have concrete facts to back them up.  If possible have a third person involved who is completely unbiased to either side, and most importantly go in to the conversation with an open mind, be willing to except whatever blame may be yours.
4560
Just say no.  It hurts more if you tell them yes and stiff them.  The thing is in life there are hurts and you can't shield people from them.  The only person your responsible to is yourself.
1120845
Slow, steady and quiet approach. Call by name, if possible. No sudden or threatening movements.\nGive your name, and speak in a soft, soothing voice, explain every movement first, Avoid reaching out to touch until eye contact is made and individual appears to be responsive.\nAvoid any type of questions that may be interpreted as aggressive or threatening.\nStress who you are - "My name is Sue, and I am here to help you."\nI can see that you are upset about something, would you like to tell me about it? If this seems too aggressive, search for questions that may be less threatening - "I have a dog, his name is Teddy and I have a kitty - her name is Missy. Do you have any pets? \nTalk about simple things, and avoid asking questions that may require expansive answers. Use guestions, at first that may be answered with 'yes or no.'\nSpace your approaches, based on individual responses.\nIf possible, stress that onlookers sty back and above all, no cameras or loud noises.
800805
how long has it been going on?.....usually if you "dont do anything" it gets old and he'll back off and move on to someone with a reaction...but im afraid if you do punch him, that will give him more of a reason to never back off. If you have to do it, Iunderstand you need to take a stand try and do it infront of administrators so it cant go too far, their job is to bring down violence.....but remeber for someone to abuse someone else by picking on them it is because they feel inadequate and need to feel better about themselves. He must have serious mental problems and insecurity.
970869
Some tips: \n1) When you feel the anger rising inside you... close your eyes (or don't) and breathe in deeply for 5 seconds... hold for 5 seconds... and push out slowly and completely, for 5 seconds.\n\n2) Drink a big glass of cold water; literally cool off... this works.\n\n3) Lay down... it's very difficult to maintain the fight or flight response lying down.\n\nConsider starting a routine each evening before bed where you sit quietly in your room, or lay quietly, with soft music or none, breathe slowly in and out 5 in, hold 5, out 5, and relax each body part one at a time, flex and relax... and visualize that part of yourself you are unhappy with, your temper, disconnecting from your body and head and filling a big red balloon... then let it float high away from you... see it explode, and all the anger just evaporate into the atmosphere.  This is just one of many ways to meditate and release...\n\nAlso consider an Anger Management work shop...