how do i get support raising my neice both parents are drug additics?
81801
If you are in full custody, the first thing you want to make sure of is that there is a separation between your neice and her parents.  If you don't have custody, get it!\nIf your niece is still under 10 or so, the transition of authority should be easier...I'm not saying it's easy, just that it's much much more difficult to get a teenager to listen to you or see you as an authority figure.  This also is affected by the relationship you have with youe niece.\nUltimately remember that children thrive in a structured environment.  You don't what to be too controlling because then the child will reber.  Just be real.  If you love her and care about her tell her that.  Be honest with her and talk to her like a person not like a kid.  Let her know she can trust in you.  And be patient.  You know she is going through a hard time and she is not going to change overnight.  You may also consider going to group counseling with her.  It will show her that you are involved and that you want what is best for her.
1106866
Wow ~ you have a lot going on.  First, why do you think that the court would drug test you?  If it is a hearing on about your dad failing to pay, isn't your mother trying to help find support for you? Second, if your mom hasn't been receiving money from your dad~where are you getting money to use drugs?  Shouldn't you be more considerate of your mother who is trying to provide for you?  Third, aren't you being quite selfish~doing drugs and worrying about yourself?  How old are you?   Why can't you see what your mother is trying to do to help you and your doing drugs?  That is so outrageous and selfish that I cannot even being to tell you how disappointing that whole situation is due to your lack of respect for your own mother.  You should definitely worry about someone other than yourself.\n\nOh, they can drug test you if they have cause such as you using the child support money to use drugs.  Not to mention, you could be placed in a juvenile faculty if they think that your mother is not taking care of ~ since you are selfishly ruining your own life by using drugs ~\n\nI am sorry I am so harsh with you~I am sure that you love your parents very much.  It makes me very upset to see a child throwing away so much to use something that can destroy their entire life and the lives of the people who love them back~hugs and kisses.
259885
If you can afford it... start doing random drug screening on him/her. Tell them that this is something that needs to be taken care of. But do not tell them that you will be doing the drug screening...
583896
awww .. u can't make her stop sweetie.. im sorry.. Drug addiction is like a disease.. it changes your mums way of thinking.. My sister was a drug addict and she left her 4 children in our care. But after a few yrs she realised what the drugs were doing and she eventually gave them up  and got her kids back.. Let your mum,know that u love her no matter what,  and that u want to be with her all the time. Hopefully that will help her give them up so she can be with you. Your mum loves you very much Im sure but the drugs have a hold on her just now  :)
536731
It's not a big deal...I mean it's strange he shows up outta nowhere and wants to call the welfare, but if he does and they do come and there's nothing wrong...they're just gonna go away. They will say it was an unfounded call and be done, just like that. If you have nothing to hide and only to prove you're right, don't worry. Perhaps he's talking about calling the welfare because the mother doesn't seem to be taking proper care of the child. They might want to hear from you how many hours your keeping this child and what kind of lifestyle you know her mother has her living in. Don't feel shamed if they do show up...quit worrying about what the neighbors think, like I said, if you're doing nothing wrong, there's nothing to worry about. I have a drug addicted, psycho sister who is currently in jail. When I had my first child and I didn't wanna listen to her crap all the time about drugs and money and so forth she'd call the welfare on me and blow them some wild story...knowing full well when they checked it out they would find nothing. I went through this 4 different times!!!! Each time they would come, they would ask me about what the supposed report was about, check my house out and my daughter and say I'm sorry mam for having to come over like this, I'll document this as an unfounded case. I understand your anger about the situation. I would probably withdraw myself from the mother and child as to not be involved with anymore of their issues. Good luck!
1149624
First, get off the racial kick. It will only make you look worse in court and to everyone else.\n\nIf you are trying to get custody away from someone who already has the child, then there is the problem. Courts are not normally willing to take the child away from one parent and just give to the other without significant legal evidence (not just you and word of mouth). Do you have any solid evidence of the drug use and dealing? If not, you are out of luck. To the courts, every Tom, Dick and Harry and female counterparts yell "he's on drugs" when they want to be the custodial parent. They hear it a thousand times a day with no evidence to show for it. Now, if he gets arrested for it and you can get CPS involved, you may have a chance, but you will be investigated too, to make sure that you are living clean yourself. For your sake, I hope you are.
1157104
I think both parents should undergo an initial mental health assessment, as well as an initial drug test.  From that time on, perhaps only on an as needed basis.
495146
The therapist and support group cannot even legally give you any inclination that he is even a patient there under the HIPA rules so you can't do much but move on. Honestly, if he has done "sexual things" in front of your son and is an unstable drug addict you need to seek help for yourself to understand why you want him to be anywhere near your son. Sorry, to put it so bluntly, but yeah dream on.
341935
You need some support.  I don't know which state you are in, but you can call your DES deprtment or Family Services people in your area.  They can help you, and there are things they can do for free.  If you don't get help you will just continue to be miserable.  If someone tells you no, ask if they can direct you to someone who can help out.  There are people and places, but you are going to have to find them.
93699
I am 22 years old, I had a behavior problem since I was very young.  I went to all kinds of counseling, but none of it worked and as I got older I started getting in trouble with the law, I've been to jail several times and been convicted of many felonies that will follow me for the rest of my life and I dropped out of school to sell drugs.  I was always depressed and attempted suicide three times and overdosed once and actually died and was revived four times.  I was put on a medicine called klonipin for my depression and methadone for my drug dependence.  Now I have got my life together, I'm back in school and I am engaged, and I feel like a normal person for the first time in my life.  Both my parents wished they would have realized this was a chemical imbalance in my brain and counseling was not the answer for me, they both see me know how happy I am and that I act normal and am no longer depressed and a drug addict.  They wish they would have put me on medication when I was younger so I wouldn't have nearly ruined my life.  But medication isn't for everyone, you should try therapy first and if he shows no signs of improvement, do him a favor and get him on a suitable medication to control his disorder.  I wish my parents would have done that and I wouldn't have two felonies on my record, been to jail six times, been on probation six years of my life and still have four to go, and done so many drugs I can't be normal without medication now.  Please listen to my advice, I don't want your son to go through want I've been through.
589133
It's not they. Their behaviour is chemically affected by the drugs they use. Your mum was ill, and she wasn't entirely in control of herself. Don't blame her.
754888
Obviously your mom cares about you greatly or she wouldn't be concerned and wouldn't be trying to get you help.  I had problems when I was younger and my parents just didn't really care.  So having parents that love you isn't something you should be upset about.  \n\nMaybe you should talk to her, tell her that you understand her concerns and you appreciate them.  Try to be mature about the situation, maybe suggest to her that you go see a doctor first and get his opinion on the situation before taking such drastic measures as rehab.  Maybe you do have a problem that you're not really aware of or maybe the doctor will just tell your mom that you're perfectly healthy and theres nothing to worry about.  \n\nIf your mom sees that you are being mature about it and willing to cooperate, even if it's just for her peace of mind, maybe she'll trust you more in the future and you can develop a stronger relationship with her.\n\n\nhttp://www.emoscene.com
892115
leave him. nothing that she can say or do will make him stop. the drug is in control, not him...and certainly NOT her.\nfor the safety and sanity of those children she needs to give him an ultimatum...get treatment, or get out. \n\nand MEAN IT! she needs to stop letting him hurt their family....and that means he needs help or he needs to get out of their lives. \n\nits tough as hell, but no one can make a junkie do what they don't want to do. it doesn't matter, it has NOTHING to do with her trying to "love him enough", it's past that kind of help...THEN she needs to seek counseling so that she can understand his addiction, and WHY he does what he does..and what she can do to help her family through this time. \nhttp://www.addictionsearch.com/treatment_facilities/alconon-club_5241.html
747532
You are probably self medicating. Maybe you are trying to cope with some kind of internal problem. I know how it feels to not want to go to a professional and get probed with all these ideas that don't help. Try spending time with family away from the bottle. Try to focus on all the good stuff that you do when you are sober and not doing drugs. My father is a drug user and my brother was an alcoholic. I gave my brother support, told him how I felt about his drinking. I told him that I needed him to stop because it hurt me to see him sick in bed, vomiting. I hated having to nurse him. I thought my brother was going to die and I told him that he scared me when he drank and would come home almost passing out and me having to keep him up. I almost lost my brother a few times. He was depressed but I told him how much I loved him. Maybe you need someone to really tell you how it makes them feel to see you drinking or doing drugs. I told my dad that I hated him doing drugs, so he hid the drugs. He is still doing drugs and I told him I wouldn't talk to him or see him until he became clean. Professional help doesn't always do the trick. You need family and a support system. This is the only true way to kick the habbit and feel better. Try little steps. I know not from my own experience but from the experience of my loved ones. They tried professional help and got nowhere. You got to be willing to change before you can change.
296830
It's called drug-use, Honey...and you should really get help. :(
417090
They need help, you're probably not the one who can give it to them. Is there a councilling service in their area? Do your parents know? Tell your parents if you can. I don't know how old you are.
742632
I can tell you it is not easy, but if you have legitimate proof of the drug use you should be able to get a temporary custody change immediately and then work on permanent change of custody of the mother does not get straight. It may sound like it isn't really that hard. The main thing is that a court has to see that the mother is unfit to raise the child and it can take a long time to get custody for the child. It took my husband almost 2 years to get custody of his son after we filed for the custody change. But don't be discouraged. Do what is best for the child.  Good Luck!