I need help with my in-laws!!!?
94173
block their #s from your phone. write to your in laws (return reciept) and tell them point blank: this is MY husband NOT your little boy. you've done all the raising of MY HUSBAND that you will ever do. mother in law, if you have a husband then HE needs to provide for you. MY HUSBAND does not need to provide anything for you. that's YOUR husband's job. and to sis: do you have husband? no. then you are your PARENTS responibility. go get a life i got mine. and tell your husband to get a SPINE and use it. he chose you not his sister.
185463
WOW...sounds like your daughter and son-in-law are very selfish people. I would give them a dose of their own medicine. You don't have to take that kind of disrespect from ANYONE. I would send your G-daughter a nice birthday card and leave it at that. They will surely run to you when they need something, but don't give in. Let them FEEL how they have made you feel.
755606
Just don't go all "Meet the Parents" on them! Try not to discuss politics or religion, although don't let them beat you down into agreeing with something you strongly object to. Take spare makeup and things in case you feel the need to touch-up, and if you're wearing tights take a spare pair. This probably won't make all that much difference to your in-laws, but it'll make you feel more confident. It's hard to strut your stuff when you know there's a big ladder on the back of your knee! Oh, and dare I mention it... if you think you might be on your period take 'supplies' - every girl knows how embarrassing it is to be caught out! Don't wear heels that are too high, too, in case you fall...\n\nBasically just be yourself. I know people say that all the time, but if you act like anyone else they're going to be very surprised when they get to know you better, and they might not think you're a very honest person.\n\nGood luck, I'm sure you'll get through it fine!\n\nTigerwolf x
1022042
You have to keep in mind if their are children involved they will always be the first priority.  You should never expect a parent to choose you over their kids. In-laws I'm a bit shaky on. But you are  not the only person w/this kind of anxiety.
619317
DON'T change for anyone but yourself. \n\nPlus, even if you try to change for your in-laws that doesn't really mean that they will accept you. They may do so on the surface, but deep down they still may not...and you'll gain nothing. Life is too short to pretend to be someone else and to be bitter.\n\nMy little suggestion is to be you and YAY for having a supportive husband!!! That's wonderful. If you don't have to be around your in-laws a lot, it shouldn't matter. \n\nMy secret: I loved to freak my ex's mother out with my views on various subjects, weird responses to questions, etc. But you have to be secure and not really care about if they like you or not to do things like that. Just a fun tip.
590364
Actually (and unfortunately), no, they will not have to respect you eventually. If they feel you are wrong for their precious daughter, all the money and power in the world will not convince them otherwise.\n\nI would recommend simply trying to bring things down a couple of notches. You're not alone in finding family get togethers extremely awkward. Most of us just eventually learn to suck it up and keep our mouths shut. If your in-laws try to interfere, thank them for their advice and then change the subject quickly to something everyone agrees on ---like the weather or sports.\n\nThese people are not worth ruining your relationship with your wife over, so play Richard Simmons if you are able to, and keep conversations short, superficial, and polite when you are not.\n\nBest of luck.
267799
I have had 2 mothers in law.  I was equally nice to both at the beginning.  I wanted to make a good impression.  The 1st one HATED me.  But then her son was a spoiled cry baby and she never wanted to give him up.  He's 40 and still lives at home.  The 2nd one LOVES me.  Her son is a MAN.  He treats me well and we have a lovely family.  I think it depends on several things.  Whether the mother has any intention of ever giving up the son.  Whether the son has enough spine to stand up for his wife.  The wife needs to accept "helpful advise" in a kindly way.  Say "Thank you, I'll consider that.  I appreciate your help".  Treat your mother in law how you would wish to be treated.  I think it comes down to what type of person she is.  I thank God for my new mother in law.
1012894
Possibly she is trying to help and also wants to be a part of the family.  The best way to deal with it is respect.  Show her respect at all times and remember that the person you married was raised by this woman so she cannot be all bad.  You may also want to consider that it may be your attitude that is the problem.  Try to approach her not as your mother in law but as you would any other person you deal with.
879424
I hate my in-laws. They are always in my marriage. They expect my husband to cater to their needs and forget that he has a family on his own to take care of. I undrestand that he is suppose to help them but they call him for any and everything like when they went out of town they wanted him to stay in their house for two weeks without his family.
708779
it's too bad they live right down the street from you. they are hard to avoid.  if she is so obnoxious, i'm sure your fiancee knows this.  so, if he is willing to keep the family relationship going, and you want to keep your relationship with your fiancee going, i think you are going to have to just grin and bear it until you can move away from where they live.  i would tell him that you know it's his brother and sister in law, but you have a difficult time around them.  your personalities just don't seem to mesh and you don't mind seeing them occasionally, but you cannot put up with on a constant basis. let him realize you are not doing this to cause friction in the family but it's just too uncomfortable for you and you would prefer not to get so involved with them. then, it's up to him to decide - you or them.  good luck.
749833
If it really bothers you that much that you are family is bothering your in laws, then call them up. Find out what they want and tell them to stop contacting you through them. There are better ways of communications in future. If anything tell them to try your email that way you have control of their contact and they certainly wont bother your in laws.
966050
it's about time your sister in law is not the only one who decides how thanksgiving will go.  why should she be the one to decide, when she herself doesn't follow her own rules?? email, to me, doesn't seem the answer.  why not just call your sister in law and tell her that you just can't make the 12 o'clock time - it's just too rushed and let her know the time that is good for you.  if she puts up a fit, just tell her to begin the festivities without you and you'll join in when you get there.  as far as making something, don't wait for THEM to tell you what to make, tell your sister in law i'll be making (whatever you care to make) so make sure no one goes to the trouble of preparing this.  don't let her run your family life, when she doesn't seem to be able to run her own life.  grandma will understand, if she loves you, because, i'm sure at one point in her life she went through the same dilemma.  families don't change that much from generation to generation. make sure this sister in law doesn't ruin your holiday because that is what it seems she is trying to do.  family plans do not revolve around her.  good luck and make sure YOU enjoy thanksgiving.
315035
They are in your house and will just have to deal with who you are. I know you feel like it matters what they think, but if you're already married to the guy then he obviously doesn't care what his parents think. Be yourself, and just try to be nice to them. If they talk down to you, etc, get your husband to talk to them and explain that he doesn't appreciate them disrespecting you in your own home. Stand your ground!
843177
You are a good mom and my heart goes out to you, that's horrible.  Well, you have to pray for starters, ask God to take care of this for you.  And LISTEN.  That's the best thing you can do for those kids is let them vent, let them have a comforting place in your home......sounds like you provide that already so good on you.  That woman needs some serious couselling.  I'm afraid she won't change unless she decides to OR unless everyone involved can clear their head, be ready and strong, and STAND UP TO HER TOGETHER.  She's picking on her daughter because she can, that's what bullys do.  It will be hard but if you all stand together and tell her her ways are unacceptable, she may get worse for a while or she may not speak to anyone for a while, but she will be forced to think long and hard about it.  From there, the choice is hers.  She does not have the right to cause this much grief to all of you and she needs to decide to stop, or spend the rest of her life without you all.  Your son and daughter in law are blessed to have you, good luck.
455235
What you wrote sounds like my story. I've got the same problem with my mother in law. My husband really appreciates that I act like I'm stupid. \nI refuse to drop down to her level and when she is really mean to me I just smile and nod. Sometimes I think she tries her hardest to piss me off, but I won't give her that joy.\nFor your husband it's probably best to ignore the situation and play along like you all get along. It's not worth splitting up families over. You may regret it if your husband decides to choose for you and stops speaking to his mom.\nBe happy she doesn't live IN your house. \n\nStay the respectable party and don't let your feelings show! I know this is tough but it's the most peaceful way. Good luck, don't let her drive you mad, you've got the upper hand!
966191
hang in there its only till January right around the corner and I know your thankful for having a roof over your head and that your inlaws have opened there house to you. I'm sure there feeling confined and missing there privacy too. Try to continue working this will help be away from the house as much as possible and when you are home try to find a quiet place where you can read a book or even soak in a tub for a bit its only a couple more months in the mean time you enjoy planning and having parties. why not get a pad and pen out and start planning this wonderful party your going to have once you get your new home. take this time to prepare and jot down ideas of what you want with this new house warming party. this should carry you through till January. good luck
116053
mostly in-laws are hard to get along with each other.  some reasons are both sides are so insecure with each other.  u are in the center.  dont take her side or your family side be in the middle.  did u ever talk to your mom if she knows any reason why your wife is treating them like that?  u can talk to your wife and tell her that your family is not comfortable that the way she treats them.  but dont be sound like you are taking your family side.  she might freak out and start an argument.  its really hard if your family get invloved with your marriage.  sometimes u feel like u need to choose between them.  but i'm pretty sure u both love your family and your wife.  u dont want to hurt any of them.  u have to talk to them.  u dont have to leave your wife u just need to talk to her about that problem.