Who has the best blonde jokes?
90821
An Irishman, a Mexican and a Blonde Guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building.They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, "Corned beef and cabbage!  If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump  off this building."\nThe Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Burritos again! If I get burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too."\nThe blond opened his lunch and said, Bologna again! If I get a bologna sandwich one more time, I'm jumping too."\nThe next day, the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned beef and cabbage, and jumped to his death.\nThe Mexican opened his lunch, saw a burrito, and jumped, too.\nThe blonde guy opened his lunch, saw the bologna and jumped to his death  as well.\nAt the funeral, the Irishman's wife was weeping.\nShe said, "If I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have given it to him again!"\nThe Mexican's wife also wept and said, "I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much."\nEveryone turned and stared at the blonde's wife. The blonde's wife said,  "Don't look at me. He makes his own lunch."
68703
Blonde jokes are a class of jokes which make light of the stereotype of the blonde woman (or, more rarely, blond man) as unintelligent, sexually promiscuous, or both. Like all humor based on stereotypes, blonde jokes are found offensive by some people. However, they tend not to be as controversial as racial humor or other forms of dark comedy. Many are, in fact, variations on racist jokes that have been adapted specifically to make them less offensive.(source 1)\n\nAnd also, there is the stereotypical "valley girl" that were caught a lot on video tape in the 80s and they just happened to be blonde in most of the media coverage.  And those girls for whatever reason wern't too bright.
107870
Yes, someone knows one or more funny jokes.  http://answers.yahoo.com/dir/;_ylt=ArnzjuRlqSbxSa5yiGyF8SL4y6IX?link=list&sid=396546041
1049308
Well, guess you could tell by my screen name, I truly am BLONDE.  I hear blonde jokes all the time and I don't take any offense to them.  I actually think some of them are pretty darn funny.  I have a great sense of humor, and I can dish out just as much as I take in!  Don't sweat the small stuff!!!
850028
1)BLONDE thats the only way
1076654
HA HA HA \nnice n clean joke
479920
worlds funniest joke:\n\nA couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?” The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?"\n\ntwas hilarious when i first heard it.\n\ncheck the link below for full details, theres heaps ;) took part in the survey myself (back in da days)\ncheers
1029458
Blonde in hayfield\n\n\n\nA Blonde was driving down the road, and spotted another\nBlonde in the middle of a hayfield rowing a boat. She stopped the car,\ngot out\nand went to the shoulder of the road, and yelled, "You know, it's\nblondes like\nyou that give blondes a bad name!, and if I could swim I would come\nout there\nand kick your ass!"\n------------------------\nPUT ON TWO COATS.\n\nThis blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these\nblonde\njokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to\nshow her\nhusband that blondes really are smart. While her husband is off at\nwork, she\ndecides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house.\n\nThe next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down\nto the\ntask at hand. Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the\ndistinctive smell\nof paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on\nthe floor in\na pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur\ncoat at\nthe same time.\n\nHe goes over and asks her if she is OK. She replies yes. He asks what\nshe is\ndoing. She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde\nwomen are\ndumb and she wanted to do it by painting the house. He then asks her\nwhy she has\na ski jacket over her fur coat. She replies that she was reading the\ndirections\non the paint can and they said....\n\n\n(scroll down)... I love this one ...\n\n\n\n\n\nFOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS.
967559
He leans over to the big woman\nnext to him and says,\n"Do you wanna hear a funny blonde joke?"The big woman replies,\n"Well, before you tell that joke, you should know something.\nSure, I'm blonde, and six feet tall, 210 lbs. and I'm a professional triathlete and bodybuilder.\nThe blonde woman sitting next to me is 6' 2" and 220 lbs;\nshe's an ex-pro wrestler.\nNext to her is a blonde\nwho's 6' 5",weighs 250 lbs.,\nand she's a kick boxer professional.\nNow, do you still want to tell that blonde joke?"The guy blinks, swallows, and thinks about it for a second\nthen says;\n"No, not if I'm going to have to explain it three times."!
915262
blondes why cant tell.
129687
Funny! :)\nI got it right away, Raveman you must be more of a blonde than I am!
666195
OH YEAH?!\n\n\nBlonde Jokes:\n\nThe Top 10 Dumb Blonde Inventions (11-18, I made Up and Found On Internet):\n\n1) Waterproof Towel\n2) Solar-Powered Flashlight\n3) Submarine Screen Door\n4) A Book On How To Read\n5) Inflatable Dart Board\n6) Dictionary Index\n7) Helicopter Ejector Seat\n8) Powdered Water\n9) Designer Camouflage\n10) Waterproof Tea Bag\n11) Wireless Dog Leash\n12) Silent Car Alarm\n13) Glass Hammer\n14) Brick Window\n15) See-Through Swimsuit\n16) Pet Rock\n17) Wooden Soap\n18) Pedal-Powered Wheel Chair\n\nMore Jokes:\n\nQ: How do blonde brain cells die ? \nA: Alone. \n\n\nQ: How do you change a blonde's mind? \nA: Blow in her ear. \n\nQ: How do you measure a blonde's intelligence? \nA: Stick a tire pressure gauge in her ear! \n\nQ: How do you keep a blonde busy all day? \nA: Put her in a round room and tell her to sit in the corner. \n\nQ: How did the blonde die ice fishing? \nA: She was run over by the zamboni machine. \n\nQ: How do you get a blonde to marry you? \nA: Tell her she's pregnant. \n\nQ: How does a blond spell farm? \nA: E-I-E-I-O \n\nQ: How does a blond kill a fish? \nA: She drowns it. \n\nQ: A blond going to London on a plane, how can you steal her window seat? \nA: Tell her the seats that are going to London are all in the middle row. \n\nQ: What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you? \nA: Run....she's got a hand grenade in her mouth. \n\nQ: What do you call a blonde golfer with an iq of 125? \nA: a foursome. \n\nQ: What do you call a blond mother-in-law? \nA: An air bag. \n\nQ: How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday? \nA: Tell her a joke on Wednesday. \n\nQ: What is the blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears? \nA: Trying to hold on to a thought. \n\nQ: Why did the blonde stare at frozen orange juice can for 2 hours? \nA: Because it said 'concentrate'. \n\nQ: Why did the blonde take two hits of acid? \nA: She wanted to go on a round trip. \n\nQ: Why did the blonde snort Nutra-Sweet? \nA: She thought it was diet coke. \n\nQ: Why did the blonde bake a chicken for 3 and a half days? \nA: It said cook it for half an hour per pound, and she weighed 125. \n\nQ: Why did the blonde put her finger over the nail when she was hammering? \nA: The noise gave her a headache. \n\nQ: Why did the blonde have blisters on her lips? \nA: From trying to blow out lightbulbs. \n\nQ: Why did the blonde climb up to the roof of the bar? \nA: She heard that the drinks were on the house. \n\nQ: Why don't blondes have elevator jobs? \nA: They don't know the route. \n\nQ: Why do blondes work seven days a week? \nA: So you don't have to retrain them on Monday. \n\nQ: What is the difference between a dead blonde in the road, and a dead skunk in the road? \nA: There are skid marks in front of the skunk. \n\nQ: What is the difference between Elvis and smart blondes? \nA: Elvis has been sighted. \n\nQ: What is the difference between blondes and traffic signs? \nA: Some traffic signs say stop. \n\nQ: What's the difference between a blonde and a shopping cart? \nA: The shopping cart has a mind of its own. \n\nQ: What did the blonde do when she noticed that someone had already written on the overhead transparency? \nA: She turned it over and used the other side. \n\nQ: What did the really dumb blond say when someone blew in her bra? \nA: Thanks for the refill. \n\nQ: How does a blonde commit suicide? \nA: She gathers her clothes into a pile and jumps off. \n\nQ: How do you plant dope? \nA: Bury a blonde. \n\nQ: How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree? \nA: Wave to her. \n\nQ: How does a blonde measure his/her IQ? \nA: With a tire gauge! \n\nQ: How do you make a blonde's eyes light up? \nA: Shine a flashlight in their ear. \n\nQ: How do you kill a blonde? \nA: Put spikes in their shoulder pads. \n\nQ: How do blondes pierce their ears? \nA: They put tacks in their shoulder pads. \n\nQ: How do you drown a blond? \nA: Leave a scratch and sniff at the bott
910889
OMG this joke is one of my favorites!!! Got any more?
416757
not all blondes are dumb..i know some dumb brunettes
108947
I have two: I love the second one.\nJoke #1\nA blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?"\n\nIn a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something."\n\nOur bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", weighs 225, and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6'5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"\n\nThe blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."\n-----------\n Joke #2\nTwo women are new arrivals at the pearly gates and are\n comparing stories on how they died.\n\n 1st woman: I froze to death.\n\n 2nd woman: How horrible!\n\n 1st woman: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the\n cold, I began to get warm and sleepy, and finally died a\n peaceful death. What about you?\n\n 2nd woman: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected\n that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to\n catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by\n himself in the den watching TV.\n\n 1st woman: So what happened?\n\n 2nd woman: I was so sure there was another woman there\n somewhere that I started running all over the house\n looking. I ran up into the attic and searched, and down\n into the basement. Then I went through every closet and\n checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had\n looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that\n I just keeled over with a heart attack and died!\n\n 1st woman: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer. We'd\n both still be alive.
71244
How did the blond explain how his helicopter crashed?\nHe said it was getting cold, so he turned off the ceiling fan.\n\nWhy did the blond quit his job as a restroom attendant?\nHe couldn't figure out how to refill the hand dryer.\n\nWhat do you call blonde twins doing bubble gum commercials?\nDouble-dumb.\n\nHow can you tell if a blonde has been using your lawnmower?\nThe green WELCOME mat is ripped all to shreds.\n\nThree blondes are sitting on a park bench eating ice cream cones. One is\n sucking hers, one is biting hers, one is licking hers. Which one is married?\nThe one with the wedding ring, YOU SICK-O!\n\nWhat's the advantage of being married to a blond?\nYou can park in handicapped zones.
1185938
oh please enough with the blonde jokes.