How can this English paragraph be improved?
86321
Why are you saying "the writer" when you then use the first person, plural pronoun "our" in the same sentence? That's a minor issue.\n\n"Coerce" is the wrong word ... "require" is better. \n"Emitted CO2 volume" would be better as "emissions of carbon dioxide."\n\nThis belief is based on the fact that scientists have found a close relationship between lung diseases, which annually cause the death of ten thousand people in the country, and emitted Carbin Dioxide levels.\n\nI'd change that to:\n\n"This belief is based on the fact that scientists have found a correlation between lung diseases, which annually kill ten thousand people in the country, and\n\nemitted Carbin Dioxide \n-OR-\ncarbon dioxide levels.\n\n(not both)\n\nIt should also be mentioned that in the states where the law is enacted, the percentage of lung diseases has considerably declined.
136266
dOes youse needen a? payge doos U\n\n\n1) That isn't a question. It's a statement. No question mark.\n2) Sentences are capitalised.\n3) Circulatory system is not aproper noun. It doesn't get capitalised except at the start of a sentence.\n4) The grammar is so horrible I don't even know where to begin.\n\nI think that you need all the writing practice you can get with material like that. \n\nIf you resubmit the request in English I will gladly point you towards material you can use.
528898
Man i cannot  get yo English can you write something more readable
556269
Her opening sentence/paragraph should be about what her paper is about. Email me and I can help--I'm an English teacher.
867909
It looks great. It all rhymes and it flows very well. You  have done a nice job. The last paragraph -- move "and" to the second line to that beam and team rhyme. Your spelling and grammar are perfect.
740119
If u can spend time and little money ... go to some Spoken english classes\n\nIf u don't have ... then\ni. read daily english news papers (standard) carefully with the dimension to understand, how the issue is presented \n\nii. speak to your friends in english / watch english news in radio or TV\n\niii. take guidance from any good book\n\n.... be sure that improvement in language is achieved only by implementing through reading, writing and speaking\n\nAll the best
627474
You diagram sentences within the paragraph, not the entire paragraph.  You should have studied that (and spelling!) already.
1182341
This is just a suggestion.  First improve your spelling, and  then learn how to compose grammatically correct sentences.
928869
You should start spelling words correctly.  "Improve" is the correct spelling for "emprove."
532381
How to speak in proper sentences???
479120
yes, the punctuation is correct, however the sentence is very informal, so if it is for an essay I'd change it to make it more formal.
907945
Huh? What are you trying to ask here? You need serious help with your grammar skills. Maybe you should ask for help with your grammar instead.
1158726
however, not all native English speakers write or speak grammatically correct.\n\ni spot an error that could be overlooked by many in your sentence. "........., the first thing they usually mention is.."\n\nwould be better if "...........the first thing they usually mention has.."
649608
put this between the paragraph\n\n<br>
327430
Did you get it on sale? Save it for a special occasion, like your next english lesson! Then use it.\nP.S.\nNice 360! I like the background.
150639
I think you mean "How can I improve my English?"\n\nThere are two keys for language learning:  Talking and reading.  Do both as much as you possibly can.
799447
something is wrong with the sentence structure.