How can i deal with my mum who doesnt give me and my sister support in anything and she has a hot temper?
92188
Thats a one might problem..its a great disease..its called the Generation gap. the only solution is get older, get married have kids and make them suffer more. Well kidding apart..I will ask you to do the most basic thing:\n\n1. Take a note book and a pen and go to the bathroom. write all what you think your mom is wrong about. Do not hold back anything..write and write. After you have filled in 4-5 pages, which I am sure anyone can. Tear them off and flush them in the toilet.\n2. Now try to recall how many times your mom woke up when as a kid you had fever. Jot it down. Write down the glow you saw on your mom's face when you won that medal or aced an exam. Recall the time when your mom said..oh my daughters..they are angels.\n3. After doing step one and 2..Jot down what is the cause of problem between your mom and you sisters. Try to write rationally and then you will find that they are trivial things..which you can easily avoid:\nThese are the three basic things that moms have problem with:Dont wear this...or dont hangout with him..or study hard.\n\na) Do you want to wear clothes that would make people see less into your eyes? ( I am sounding like an old fashioned guy..but after 10 years you will surely feel what your mom feels now). Wear nice clothes. I am not surely preaching.\nb) People with experience tend to see more than teenagers who are infactuated/smitten..Please do not get me wrong.\nc) If you do not study, you dont pass, you dont pass you do not get a career..you do not get a career then do i need to say anything else?\n\nI know while reading this you are probably having an urge to hit me if you could from internet :-) \n\nBut try giving your Mom a second chance with a clear mind..when was the last time you bought her a present or hugged her or said " Oh mama i just love your cooking"
297862
first of all shes ur mom.. how long can she b angry with u. things wil cool down soon.. give her a good hug.. she wil surely calm down..say ur sorry.. even if ur not wrong.. it doesnt hurt to say sorry.. does it!!??
769507
This is unfortunate matter sweety...But please do not get upset with yourself...It's nothing to do with you...Be happy she's in a safe place now where she can get help...All you can do is be there when she needs you...Remember she's not herself now, so just think about the good times...She'll be back to herself soon enough...Be strong for your sister...You're dong a good job =)
384658
okay... i understand where you are coming from and good on you for saying something to your mum. JUST remember that mothers want what is best for their kids..and saying that i can tell you that you mum is prolly wanting the married life for you with a guy and one day have kids but you are on a different level that she does not understand. I think at this point in time you need to sit down and explain to your mum that you are a adult and she cant go on making decisions for you the rest of your life. You are in love and for that matter she should be happy that you have someone to love you in return! That is not to say that you wont have kids or wont do things in life that she thinks you can do with a guy. Also if you really really love this girl i would not take her home to be blamed from your mother on " YOU MADE MY DAUGHTER LIKE THIS" been there done that... you dont want to make your girl feel like your family will never come to terms with her being in YOUR life! As long as it takes to break that ice with your mum keep working at it, but dont bring your girl in the middle of it and you live to regret it because you mum might say some nasty things that will end up hurting the one you love. I hope this works out and if you ever want to chat about anything please drop me a line!
1184149
Do you live together?  If not, there's still hope... when ever she says something hurtful or rude, just change the subject and act as if she said nothing, don't humor her and keep it up... and she probably doesn't take you seriously.  When you have brought it up, do you sugar coat your conversation?  Just be firm and say you don't appreciate the comments she makes and you would like for them to stop,... let her know that it could cause some tension between your family and her and you are trying to avoid that situation.  She is probably disregarding your feelings because she feels you're over-reacting and is unaware of how badly she is making you feel.  I was in a VERY similar situation before, and there is no easy way around it.
422660
Ask your mother to sit down with you and talk to her.  Don't say "You", but do say "I feel".  Parents know we make mistakes but be sure to apologize, and be open to listen.    If you're to nervous to talk face to face and you're afraid  your mother will interrupt you and not let you get you point across then try writing her a letter.  Please though drop out "you", because we don't want your mother to feel like she's being attacked!
843251
You have to tell someone. If you are worried about the way your Mum may react you need to get another adult family member that you trust  to talk to her. If there is no family member that you trust then maybe a teacher etc. I can tell you as someone who was raised with abuse you need to break the cycle. Silence will not solve this problem. hope this helps and I hope even more that this problem is resolved
831473
all you can do is reassure your mum that this is what your sis wants, she is looking for a new life elsewhere, tell her that the perks are....a free holiday, when my son joined the forces i cried my leg off for weeks, i missed him so much, and still do but he;s making a man out of himself serving for his country and he loves every minute of it, since he was 9 he always wanted to join up, and he studied hard to get where he is todayeven though he is only 19, just be there for your mum, i know how hard it is to let one of my kids go, but your sis knows what she wants and you and your mum should be happy for her, once your sis has gone your mum will be fine, theres lots of ways to contact her now, technology gives us the ability to do so....give her a hug from me too, i know how hard it is to let the kids fly the nest, bless her and you, and your sister,
722758
Try and talk to your mum, Tell her how you feel. If you really cant talk to her then write her a letter or an email. Explain that you are only writing to her because she will not listen when you try to tal to her. I am sure that when she realises how sad you are she will change. Being a teenager is very hard the good thing is it will get better.\nGood luck.
882363
file an unruly on her , that way if any violence happens they will see that you are trying to get help for her. they will place her on probation, give her community service and send her to anger management. hopefully she'll learn that there are consequences for her actions and some sense of responsibility on how to deal with other people. if she goes out in the world with that attitude she is going to get hurt or wind up in jail for hurting someone else. you also may get some counseling established so they can find out why she has so much animosity towards you and you can gain control back in YOUR household. good luck. I'll keep you in my prayers.
681020
oh boy. sounds like me and my mom. I just walked away when she started to irritate me. Don't acknowledge her bad behaviour at all. But don't expect her to stop being this way. you will have to deal with it for the rest of her life. So just try and tell yourself that you will leave the house one day and you won't have to deal with her. Just try and remember to not fight back. Let her win. Even if your beyond right. Because she's only looking to argue. not win an argument. Ignore her critcisms of other people and just try to tune her out when she talks. That's your best bet. GOOD LUCK
826106
This is a tough place for a young woman to be! You are going through an emotional time anyway as you enter puberty. Have you talked with your sisters and do they acknowledge the way she treats you? Maybe one of them will be kind enough to tell your mother how her actions are affecting you. My other suggestion would be to speak with a minister or your school guidance counselor, perhaps have a family session. Please know you are worthwhile despite all that is going on. love to you.
615663
i am from Scotland and unfamiliar with this. however i would just tell ur mum, pick a time when she is in a good mood and no-one else is around. its inevitable she is going 2 find out and its better she hears it from u than someone else or a report card! she wont b happy but at least ur being honest with her, surely that counts for something? good luck :)
557483
I am sorry to hear all these stories abt child abuse. Nicky, if you think you need someone to talk to, speak to a professional. They will be able to help you sort things out with yourself. The impt thing to do is to make peace with yourself...Understand that you are different from your mum, and that no matter what, you will be stronger than her too. Whatever reasons she had that cause her to abuse you like that will not be happening to you again...so let go, and trust in the Lord that He will bring you peace and happiness. God Bless
584924
You can try a small get-together or a family reunion or a family Picnic. When you meet your daughter, tell her about your revelations and dont say anything that might seem as though you may be pointing something in her. dont compare her with the other daughter with who you get along well (as that may unknowning to you be considered a threat to the her.) \nI advise this to my mom whenever I get a chance to talk to her. We are 3 sisters and she cant get through to the middle one but with me she is fine, and many times she unintentionally compares her to me. presently She has stopped doing that and her relation with my sis has improved. \nBest of luck though, be friends! they are pretty grown up with their own family and somewhere in their heatrs they look for a friend in  parents
663164
Cool it!  You are still young, and your mother is still your mother and she LOVES you!  You were wrong to go off on her like that.  She knows you are a teenager and teenagers go off easily with little provocation.  But your rage and rants still hurt her.  No adult would to that to a parent.  It was still an adolescent rant.\n\nNow, go take a hot soaky with lavender bubbles and listen to some mellow music.
655557
I know exactly what you are going through right now.  I had a fight with my mom on Sunday (yes, Mother's Day), and we still are not speaking.  She was wrong, but I think I've taken it too far now, and this is what I'm going to do.  \n\nTalk to her, and tell her the things that bother you as they are, no matter how hurtful it may sound.  Just tell her that before starting, so she can understand why are you being hurful.  I've found through out the years, that telling her my exact feelings, no matter what, always seems to work.  \n\nThe catch is, if she takes it the wrong way, you could have a bigger problem later.  It just depends on the kind of relationship you have with your mother, and how much do you really know her in the end, to make up your mind about what to tell her.\n\nYou say she's sick.  Well, that changes things a little bit.  If she has MS, then she must be tired most of the time.  If this is the case, get off her back and start growing up.  She has obviously raised a good child, if you are so concerned to voice your questions here, so take a look deep within you and identify the problem YOU have with her, and fix it.\n\nI hope this was helpful!  Have a great day!