How can I help my new girlfriend handle a potentially dangerous stalker?
88940
i have a similar prob i am letting my g/f take care of it till i see something i dont like then he is a dead man  thats what i suggest
1136783
send her a letter from the city or county prosecutors office telling her to keep a distance or face jail time as a stalker so theres a record then if shes following you call the police and shes gone to jail carry a copy of the letter ive been throough this before
959697
My dear.........there is no doubt, that there are times on YA that you're going to run into something like what you ran into. The best thing to do the minute you feel uncomfortable, is to log off. Of course, if you feel threatened, report it. You have no way of knowing if this person is merely playing sadistic jokes.....or is a serious wack job. Be careful..............LATER
772129
I think the best thing to do in this situation is to look into how jealous and if there is a threat present. Sometimes it can be innocent and sometimes dagerous. Using the word protect I would assume there may be some threat. Document contact with that person keep a journal do not meet with that person in private if you must arrange a public meeting always let someone know that you are meeting that person and give them a check in time.  Also if you are in fear and have the evidence have a restraining order and stick to it. Never underestimate jealousy
689077
I am assuming, perhaps erroneously, that you are rather young.  I think you should respond with maturity and grace and be polite to them.  You are not required to be their friend, but unless they are harming you in some way, I think you should try to be kind.  Then you will not look back later and wish you had been nicer.\n\nEdit:  I think we need more info.  If this person is a stalker, you should follow the anti-stalker advice.  If you are 12 and you just don't like the way this person dresses or something, you should follow my advice.  As for confronting someone and telling them to go away, I don't remember ever having to do this.  I've always been able to finesse a clear but kind response, i.e., they know I'm not particularly interested in hanging around with them, but I don't come right out and say it.  \n\nWe will be able to give better advice with more info.
104569
Cooperation from the guy is the most important thing.  You really can't do anything but scare her off, but she's going to back off if she knows he doesn't want her around.  If he doesn't want to do that, he's looking around for another one anyway and it's time to move on.  It's really immature to handle it by backing her off yourself, that's signs of a really bad relationship.  Go get a strong relationship where you don't have to worry about it.
501775
leave him fast. he is a stalker and obsessive...believe him when he makes the threats... god bless and good luck. REALLY
94554
As long as you still have the marks, make a police report! This man (for lack of a better word) is trying to control you, and sounds like he has succeeded up to this point! Don't be afraid of him, because you can be protected!! You don't have to put up with abuse from anyone! If he's into crack and has another woman, you should just hold your head high, and walk away from a bad situation. It'll only get worse if you let it! When you make your police report, you can also request a restraining order. In my town, you'd be directed to contact Victims Assistance, and they will have the restraining order for you as quickly as tomorrow! Don't let him get away with anything! He needs to be locked up! Good luck to you! :)
1072389
You did the right thing definately always listen to that feeling you had. Call the police department and ask what it takes to get a restraining order and stalker laws in your area. Look into house alarms and always keep your eyes open!  Have a  friend stay over if you have more trouble, buddy system when you leave to work call a family member or friend keep someone aware of you movements at all times so if something happens someone will come check on you or call the police, vary your routes home from work change them up so you aren't as predictable,  and always have a cellphone on and  erady to call someone if you have trouble. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure don't let that scare you. Having a dog may help too. Be careful and don't second guess yourself if he gets worse it is not your fault nothing you did or will do caused this. He's most likely sick protect yourself. Consider a self defense course too scary but may come in handy with him or if you take a trip to NY, NY be safe!
1102460
she is very scared and keeping you at a safe distance for her......until you make her feel safe this is what you will get....do not smother her and let her pursue you for now.
933774
Have you checked if she's under police protection because she's being stalked by someone scary?
893963
maybe she doesn't want to be found... stalker.
269737
Sounds like you have a stalker,I have been through this once.Talking to her wont help anything.She will take any kind of attention from you,even if its bad attention.People like this are truly not right in there mind.You need to get a restraining order on her! Try to just ignore her.If she comes up and starts talking to you,Don't answer her.If, you have a restraining order on her,Call the police the minute you see her around you or where you live.She will just continue to go to jail.If you truly feel that she might hurt you,Than take steps in self deffence.ex.Carry a knife with you,One that is of legal length.Get some pepper spray.Or anything arousal to spray her in the eyes.Put more locks on your doors.Be aware of your surroundings at all times.Good Luck and May God Bless you! She may end up seeing  some else,or she may grow tired of you or of going to jail.
972966
ask her about items, start asking her where the shampoo is and random stuff. That is how I met my husband...He came through my line at the register 3-4 times a day, he didn't say much but ask me how I was doing, where some things were and then would leave..but back into the store instead of out the door..he repeated this for about 2 weeks. Then one day he went to some other girls line and I realized that I was a bit jealous. I hunted him down and found him in the stationary isle gave him my number and haven't been able to get rid of him for 4 years! Good luck, just be sure to stay on the "normal" side..very fine line you could be considered a stalker.
467032
if u have proof opt for an orer of protection because when restraining orders a violated they tend to not do much about it. but at least file a police resport and keep it with you for proof of the stalker. that way later when something goes down at least you have something to show all the steps you took in court.
327105
I agree with all the people who say call the police.  The truth is, though the threat may not actually be carried out., you need to treat it as a very serious threat to her life and safety.  The most important thing you can do is GET HER TO A SAFEHOUSE OR SOMEPLACE SECURE.  If she needs protection from this guy, start off by getting her out of this situation.   Also, be her friend and help her feel safe and confident.  If the guy asks you where she is or anything, tell him NOTHING and WALK AWAY.  If he tries to hurt you or violate you, run and bring attention to yourself and get to a public place right away.  If this happens at your house, call the police right away and report him as a trespasser.
137393
Well only take it to the police if you feel threatened. Otherwise, express that you are not ready for a relationship right now. Express that its not "cool" the way he drops by unannounced. Make sure that you are clear and are not sending mixed signals. If he doesn't get the message you might have to take it to the proper authorities...meaning police. If you both are adults, then he should know better.