I have lost my wife of 17 years. Will this pain ever get better, and will I ever feel right again.?
96701
Good News.... She is NOT gone.  She is always by your side.  She loved you for 17 years also, and she would want you to be happy.  Did you ever want to take up a hobby that your wife thought was ubsurd?  Do it now if so.  There are a million support groups for grieving spouses.  Being around people thgat feel the same way you do is very healing.  Always remember this... she will be waiting for you on the other side.
341324
hey you, well like I told you, you need time. no matter what you try right now, the pain will still be there in the end. get yourself involved in other things for now, like hobbies or something. I'll tell you how my anniversary turns out. Chat with ya later.
629634
Honey, I feel for you.  My mom passed away suddenly 13 years ago.  First thing you've got to do is of course get thru the visitation and funeral.  Give yourself some time to come to grips with this.  I highly recommend that you seek out some sort of grief counseling.  My dad, sister, and I did this about 6 weeks after my mom died, and it really helped alot.  It's up to you whether you choose individual counseling or group, but make sure to do one or the other.  It'll really help you out.  Also, find people to talk to, the more you talk, the better you will be able to work thru all this.  My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.  God Bless You.
322147
I know very well what you mean ! i think that the worst is to know that you found your second half , your soulmate but because of the circumstances you have to separate . it happened to me 6 years ago , and even thou its not that painfull as it was at the start i still spend a lot of thoughts on him and on the time we shared . will i get ever over it ? i dont know , i just know that yes , time heals a lot of pain , i dont feel pain anymore but i still think !!!! you will learn not to compare with time and besides its a bad thing to do . of course i know that its not easy at all not to but even this time will teach . ok , in the bottom of ur heart ................but i am sure that you will manage . think that there are a lot of people on this universe which felt the same!!! i wish u luck and all the best !!!!
1124675
How sad .......you lost the very first love you ever had because of someone you trusted ......... someone you had been kind and loyal to. You not only lost your first love, you lost a friend : two deaths.\nI think that it will be hard to resolve your feelings because there is no way to resolve the issue. You can't change the past.. Your relationship was interrupted. In order to heal from this tragic wound, you need to approach it the same way you would a death. You need to go through the stages of grief. There are some good methods outlines at : http://www.elderhope.com/e_class/new_grief/grief_2_2.html\nI am so sorry for your losses. \nI carried the unresolved loss for over thirty years, and then I called my childhood boyfriend (I found his phone number on the internet). I told him what had happened and we talked about it. We talked about our lives and families and things in general. About two weeks after our conversation, I woke up one morning and realized I was no longer thinking about him. I realized how happy I was that we never married. I was thankful my life had taken a different direction.\nI still feel pain about my friend who betrayed me. Her actions caused me to distrust people throughout my life. I wish I had had someone to help me go through the grieving process when I was young. Good luck. There is a different, better ending to your story. One day you will be happy about it because, if your boyfriend had been a purer person, he would not have abandoned you because of gossip.
100137
It took ten years for my poor poor heart to mend after I divorced my husband of 13 years b/c he had a baby with an aquaitance of mine and I felt sorry for her not being married and all gave her a baby shower and gave her all my childs things (i did not know it was his child til later). It just takes time. I dove into my work and made new friends (seeing as how all my old friends knew it was his child and did not tell me) and spent some quality time with myself. I got to know me really well and decided I really liked the new me. Just give yourself time to heal and get involved with work and friends. It does help. Oh and try not to drown your sorrows in alchol and drugs. I tried that I lost everything I had AGAIN and had to start over. Good luck to you and try and hang in there the world has a lot to offer if you will just stop and look around. I am happily married now to a wonderful and caring man that adores me! I am living proof that your heart can and will mend. I may stil be cracked but it will heal.
255588
I lost my son 10 years ago on Nov.25 and I still think of him daily. It took a long time but now when I think of him I can laugh at the warm good times we had and it doesn't hurt so sharply. I know the pain and it is almost a physical thing, isn't it? It starts in your stomach and it feels like you want to scream and scream and scream. This will pass. He knows you love him. Trust that fact. And you will always love him trust this fact. And you will see him again when it is time to do so. Until that time you are responsible to him not to waste the life you have grieving for his loss of life because his life began again that day. He is in a wonderful place, God can take a lot better care of him than you or I ever could. He has all the answers. I know how much you miss him , and I believe they miss us too. He is busy and so should we be. the time till we are with them will seem shorter that way and we will be doing what is our reason to still be here, that is to be busy and to love others by giving help to those we can help. Bless your heart and Bless your Loving Parents heart. It will all be answered someday and you can trust that fact also.
631360
you just really need totalk to someone. i lost a frien to suicide unfortunately i was in the room when it happened. i know how hard it is. i also had to attend 23 funerals in 10 months jst a few years ago between friends and family i wasn't surei wold make it either i really felt like my world was caving in on me. the thing that got me throgh it was my husband he always talked me through things, to this day he still makes sure i don't forget thememories of those friends and family members. one other thing i did was write letters to the people i was closest to especially my mom when i was feeling as you are now. i've read them at later times some i just keep in a box. good luck and please talk to someone!
1048127
Yes zool, sometimes I feel very sad and loney too.  My marriage of 27 years broke up about 3 yars ago.  Then I met someone, fell in love and got engaged.  He died last September.  Since then I can't seem to "find my place."  You know, where I belong.  I moved to another state but feel like I need to go back where I came from because my children and grandchildren are there.  What is making you feel sad and lonely?  You can email me at watsoq9@yahoo.com if you like.
679050
So sorry that you are going through this. I can relate 100%.\nThe pain and depression from a break up can take over your life if you let it.. It did me for a while and I still have my moments. (I was w/ my now ex for 19 yrs.)It has been 9 months since my break up...\n(he also walked out on his 2 daughters)..\nDrugs and alcohol can consume a persons morals and soul...\n\nHere are some things that helped me and some I still continue to do:\n\nWrite a letter to her, but don't mail it, this is for you to express your feelings...burn it after reading this letter.. write and burn as often as you wish.. it does help.. this helps me to let go..\n\nKeep a daily journal of how you feel each day. \nJot down a POSITIVE word to describe yourself (loving, caring, compassionate, outgoing, and so on.).\n\nTake a long brisk walk, go for a swim, go to the gym... do something just for your self, something that you like and brings a smile...\n\nMake a  pro/con list of the relationship you had with her.\ndon't nit pick or sugar coat this list...be HONEST....\nThen make a list of the things you want to find in a woman(NOT HER)..don't over load this list, no one it perfect..\nI had to redo my list a few times....\n\nGo out with your freinds or family, DO NOT ISOLATE YOURSELF from others or life.... it only makes life harder for you!!!\n\nRemember and remind yourself that she chose her life and you can not change her.(I tried to change my ex and waited for him to grow up and change his life for 19 yrs., I lost out on a lot more then just losing him)...\n\nRemind your self that YOU are a GOOD person and you have control of your life, you can't change the past BUT you can change your future and make it happy if you choose.\nYou have control of you!!!\n\nAgain I'm sorry you are hurting so deeply. \nIn time you will feel better and begin to start your life over.. look to make friends with other women first..\nDo NOT rush into a new relationship just to be with some one and not be alone... THIS WILL NOT HELP YOU...\n\nIf you want to chat, email me, I'll be your chat pal.\n\nI hope this helps..
39827
I am so very very sorry for your loss.  Ive lost a lot of family members so I know exactly what you are feeling.  One thing that got me through the tough times was actually talking to the person as if they were right there in person with you.  Tell her how you are feeling and about your day and that.  Find a nice place to take a walk in and just talk.  She is still with you.  She is watching over you.  She knows you love her.  And she loves you very much.  Im sure she doesnt want to see you so sad.  It will take time sweetie.  But, the pain does get easier.  I promise.  And by talking to her, it helps to ease that pain a bit more.  You will be ok.  I promise.
241350
I am sorry to hear that. That is a very painful process.  Every minute it's always the person in your mind.  I know how you feel.  Well, I would suggest a few ideas, they might not be the best.  However, time will eventually heals and I hope soon. My suggestion would be: (1) go out and meet new friends.  If you can't find new friends, at least hang out with the old ones (2) take a break and go for vacation with some friends if possible (3) take on hobbies - gymn, dance classes, swimming, meditation, etc .... (4) volunteer working at nursing homes and hospitals because sometimes seeing the others who have worse situation than you will make you realize how fortunate you are compared to the rest (5) watch movies, DVD's, etc ..... (6) if you believe in GOD, then you should also start praying. The bottom line is, you must keep you mind occupied most of the time. Therefore there is no room for him to bug your mind.  You must take courage to accept it and move on with your life.  I hope you find these tips helpful.  Meanwhile, I wish you the best.
1007352
I lost my father at the age of 16.. not only did it send me into an emtional and mental spiral... it affected my work, my hobbies, friends, self-image, you name it.. i started to go down hill at it.\n\nYou will NEVER "get over" the loss of that loved one.. nor will you ever forget them.    \n\nI however, believe that eveything happens for a reason, when the Lord says....."child come home"....... nothing matters, the age, sex, how much they are need here on earth, how "you" feel it wasn't there time.   Everyone is taken when they are...because that is the will of God.\n\nI pray for you...  peace and contentment, strength and understanding.  I hope that through these tough times that you face now and will continue to face some happiness and good can come of this.  Do not be mournful or feel sorrow....   for stuggle is ordained, as is life and death.    \n\nRemember them for who they were, what they did and how they touched you...   do not fill you life with resentment and bitterness trying to understand.  \n\nGet a journal, talk to a counselour... confide in your family and friends.     They are there for you!\n\nPeace & Love
444797
It depends on many things; how much you loved them, how long you were with them, how much they hurt you, who or what else you have in your life and how often you see them. No-one knows how long it will take, and it does hurt, but know that you will get over it. It's not gonna always feel like this. I'm sorry you are hurting just take everyday as it comes and you will find love again. Take Care   ;-)
212548
Your still in shock, it has not hit you yet that she is truly gone and even if you don't cry don't let people tell you, you didn't love her. Everyone has their own way of handling pain. It will take a long time to get over the hurt and pain, my grandparents have been dead over 7yrs and I still cry sometimes, but it does get easier and you just hold on to the memories and precious time's. And if you believe in God than hold tight to him and ask for his peace.
590226
I'm sorry for your grief i just lost my step dad in Aug and he was more of a dad than i could ever get..\n\nThe pain hurts because i lost so many if theres away I'm looking for it i spend day after day setting and talking as if he was still here at the grave site.\n\nWhat do you say we feel the same pain three kids and my wife are gone and i have one child left and I'm so scare of losing her.\n\nSomeone put a question in here and ask what was the saddest thing that ever happen to me and i cryed the owe time i wrote back an answer as i'm doing now..\n\nBless you and take one day at a time for two is to much and you will be okay.
5412
wow, sorry to hear about your girl, thats sad. I dont know why you cannot tell the difference but maybe its because you are in a lot of pain right now and you feel like you are hurting all over.  Again I'm sorry for your loss, and I hope things start looking up for you soon! :)