how do you know when the relationship is toxic?
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The first, and simplest, is persistent unhappiness, Glass says. If a relationship stops bringing joy, and instead consistently makes you feel sad, angry, anxious or “resigned, like you've sold out,” it may be toxic, Glass says. You may also find yourself envious of happy couples.
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Give yourself compassion when you find that the toxic relationship is continuing to color your thoughts and reactions. Being impatient with yourself just reinforces the toxic voice; instead, allow yourself the time and space needed to heal. Notice how you speak to yourself.
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['You justify their bad behaviour.', "They don't talk through issues.", "They're constantly testing your boundaries.", 'They have a massive sense of entitlement.', 'Something in your gut feels wrong.', 'Everything is about them.', 'They are overly critical about their previous partners.']
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['They make excuses to not communicate. ... ', 'Your relationship feels different. ... ', "They're never available. ... ", "You've stopped scheduling time to see one another. ... ", "You don't know where they live. ... ", "You don't know any of their family or close friends."]
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['Being Cold or Mean Towards You to See if You Get Angry. ... ', 'Acting Like She Has Zero Feelings For You to See if You Lose Confidence in Your Ability to Attract Her. ... ', 'Giving You Mixed Signals to See if You Become Insecure. ... ', 'Blaming You For How Emotionally Messed Up She Feels.']
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Whether you're aware of it or not, a toxic relationship may negatively impact your mental health. It can make you feel insecure or bad about yourself, leave you feeling drained and unhappy, place pressure on you to change something about yourself or may even be physically and emotionally harmful.
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["You're constantly second-guessing yourself. ... ", 'You apologize more than you need to. ... ', "You're always making excuses for your partner. ... ", 'You feel insecure about your relationship. ... ', "Your partner's calendar takes priority. ... ", 'You do all of the heavy lifting.']
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["It makes you feel like you're on an emotional rollercoaster. ... ", 'You have an instant connection with the other person. ... ', 'There are problems early on. ... ', "It's very hard to end the relationship, even if you want to. ... ", 'Your partner is selfish and not interested in your needs.']
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['You start filling in the gaps. ... ', "You want to 'fix' your partner. ... ", 'You lose all your boundaries. ... ', "You don't feel like you have your own independent life. ... ", 'You lose contact with friends or family. ... ', 'You need to ask for approval.']
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["They're Not As Affectionate. ... ", "They're Way Less Intimate. ... ", "They've Stopped Talking About The Future. ... ", 'They No Longer Want To Have Deep Discussions. ... ', "They're Backpedaling In The Relationship. ... ", "They're Picking More Fights. ... ", "They Don't Want To Talk About It. ... ", "They're Clearly Avoiding You."]
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Controlling Behavior A lot of abusive partners exhibit controlling character traits. This is one of the most common signs of an abusive relationship. If a partner becomes angry when you do not take his or her advice or if he attempts to control all of the finances, you may be in an abusive relationship.
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Here are some signs of an unhealthy relationship: Physical abuse: your partner pushes you, hits you or destroys your things. Control: your partner tells you what to do, what to wear or who to hang out with. They constantly check up on you or use threats (for example, to harm you or themselves) to make you do things.
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["You're simply not happy. ... ", "You don't think you'll regret it. ... ", 'You wonder about what else is out there. ... ', "You don't feel good about yourself. ... ", 'Your friends are encouraging you to end it. ... ', 'The cons outweigh the pros. ... ', "Your partner's emotional health is suspect."]
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["There's abuse of any kind. ... ", 'Sexual feelings are polarized. ... ', 'One of you does not prioritize the other. ... ', 'The jealousy is constant. ... ', 'The adorable quirks have become excruciating annoyances. ... ', 'When the relationship stops making you feel good.']
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1. You're Unhappy. One of the clear signs that you're in a dead end relationship is that you're simply not happy. For instance, if you feel unfulfilled by your partner and don't find joy in your connection, these are key indicators that your relationship is destined to fail.
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Passive aggressive behavior is often accompanied by gaslighting, or making the other person think they're crazy for even bringing it up. If you constantly feel like there's something off but when you try to talk to your partner about it you get shut down, you may be in a toxic relationship.
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['Listen. ... ', 'Share unhealthy relationship experiences of your own or ones you have heard of. ... ', 'Be gentle. ... ', 'Build up their self-image. ... ', "Don't be judgmental and don't criticise. ... ", "Make sure they know you're always there. ... ", 'Check in with them.']