how do you know you're in a manipulative relationship?
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A manipulative person might twist what you say and make it about them, hijack the conversation or make you feel like you've done something wrong when you're not quite sure you have, according to Stines.
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['You make too many rules. ... ', 'Your threats are over the top. ... ', 'Your rules overstep your parental boundaries. ... ', 'Your love is conditional (or your words make it sound that way). ... ', "You don't watch your words. ... ", "You don't put in the time. ... ", 'You are always the cop, nag, monitor, or reminder. ... ', 'Your child leaves you out.']
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Almost everyone can think back and recall a time when they didn't listen to it. When you feel good, feel that your partner is patient and true, treats you the same in public as he/she does at home, then you're on the right path. Keep in mind that your intuition may send out warnings as well.
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["You don't like yourself in the relationship. ... ", "There isn't perceived equity in effort. ... ", "You don't feel loved. ... ", "You know you don't love them. ... ", "You love them, but you don't like them. ... ", 'You are putting your life on pause. ... ', 'The negative outweighs the positive.']
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["Have a Heart-to-Heart. If you've got a healthy, close relationship with one or both people in the couple, try an honest conversation. ... ", 'Expose Lies. ... ', 'Overdramatize Shortcomings. ... ', 'Present a Better Option. ... ', 'Be a Time Filler. ... ', 'Set up Scams. ... ', 'Incite Jealousy. ... ', 'Call for Backup.']
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Therefore, what seems or feels like him “pulling away” may simply be him taking some time to reflect and decide how he's feeling about the relationship, which is healthy. His “pulling away” may not be indicator that you did something “wrong” but instead an indicator of his need to reflect without your influence.
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1. One sign is that your ex is playing games with you is that he/she does things or says things and seems to await your response. In other words, he is doing things only to initiate a response from you.
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["Don't panic or jump to accusations. ... ", "Write a list of everything you've noticed. ... ", 'Become more vigilant while looking for further signs. ... ', 'Find time to talk. ... ', 'Choose the high road (show him the list) or the low road (investigate him).']
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["Honesty. Even if it sometimes seems like that teeny, tiny lie is protecting your partner, it's never a good move to lie. ... ", 'Communication. ... ', 'Commitment. ... ', 'MORE: 10 Signs Your Relationship is Rock-Solid and Going to Last.']
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['angry at you for long. [00:09]', 'he really likes you. [00:29]', 'back from holding your hand. [01:49]', 'Important to him. [02:09]', 'really having a totally messy day. [02:19]', 'are happy. [02:29]', "because you're his priority. [02:39]", 'forgive you eventually. [02:49]']
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["Your partner's always busy.", 'Communication has gone quiet.', "They're hanging out with new friends but they're being vague or sneaky about it.", 'If you ask questions, your partner gets angry or defensive.']
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["She mopes around and tries to get you to ask her if everything's alright. ... ", "She flaunts her problems so that you, and everyone else around her, can hear just how bad she's got it in in life. ... ", 'She ignores you when she feels like it. ... ', 'She lies about how much you love her.']
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['Are You Both Working On Things?', 'Do They Make You Feel Good?', 'Does The Relationship Add to Your Life?', 'Have You Been Betrayed?', 'Do You Really Love Them?']
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['Are you committed to growth? The first way to know if your relationship is worth saving is that you are both committed to growth, individually and together. ... ', 'Do you genuinely respect one another? ... ', 'Do you share values? ... ', 'Do you share a vision? ... ', 'Are you willing to forgive one another?']
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['They Take Advantage Of You. ... ', 'You Are Constantly Waiting On Them. ... ', "They Don't See The Big Picture. ... ", "They'll Do Anything To Defend Their Self-Image. ... ", 'They Are Liars. ... ', "They Aren't Very Giving. ... ", 'They Struggle With Empathy. ... ', "They Don't Have Deep Relationships."]
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If your girlfriend is cheating, she'll likely start to pull away. She may feel uncomfortable acting like a couple in public. Notice if she suddenly starts pulling away when you try to hold her hand, hug her, or give her a kiss. It might be a sign that she's cheating.
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["They Don't Listen To You. ... ", "You've Caught Them In A Lie. ... ", "They Don't Prioritize You. ... ", 'They Give You The Silent Treatment. ... ', 'They Give Sexual Or Romantic Attention To Others. ... ', 'They Purposely Hurt Your Feelings.']